What you call "Ponies" I call "Tuesday"

“Uhh… I guess that works, I mean, I honestly don’t know how Celestia and Luna would feel having two strangers running around unchecked but if it’s alright with them,” I said, unsure of how the whole thing is going to play out.

“Nonsense, darling, you haven’t anywhere else to go, and you can’t stay in the castle, I mean no offence, but you aren’t exactly nobility material,” Rarity remarked. I should probably be offended, but right now, I was overwhelmed by her offer of letting us stay with her. I looked to the princesses, who shrugged it off.

“It’s fine, you won’t be that far from us, and Twilight is a student of mine, and we keep in touch so if anything goes wrong, we’ll be right there,” Celestia said, flashing me a big smile that screamed ‘haha, you’re gonna get it now.’ Oh god help me, if I get out of this, I am going to get you back for this.

“But ah, you’re a lady, I wouldn’t feel right taking advantage of your ahem… hospitality,” I stammered, please, something, anything, get me out of this! I looked over at Twilight. She had found her book and proceeded to read it, while we were sorting out this not so minor detail. Pinkie was just giggling to herself, and Fluttershy was nowhere to be found. I assumed she was hiding again, but I had no clue as to where. Applejack was my only hope. Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase, help me!

“Ah’m sorry, pard’ner, but Rar’ here is right, it wouldn’t be decent of us to have you roamin’ the streets without anyplace to say,” Applejack said firmly. I wanted to just curl up in the corner and hide, this possibly couldn’t get any worse.

“David, we honestly have nowhere else to go, I say we stay with them, at least until we can get a place of our own,” Harry offered. Crap, three to one, not the best odds…

“Fine, fine, we’ll play your game,” I said, slouching in my seat. I was at a loss, I’m not used to this kind of hospitality. Then again, that wasn’t the only thing I wasn’t used to, I heard them use words I had never experienced before.

“But, we aren’t playing a game,” I heard suddenly. I snapped my head around to see Twilight staring at me from her book. She was listening in? That is some serious multitasking.

“I know it’s just an expression, Twilight,” I said, rolling my eyes and turning back to Rarity. “Fine, but now I have to ask, can we get back to breakfast,” I asked, realizing I haven’t had anything but a few bites of fruit so far.

“Here ya go,” Pinkie jumped out of the corner of my eye, holding a plate with an apple fritter, and a few apple slices.

“Oh, thanks,” I said, perking up slightly, accepting the plate of food with a small smile. Hey, it’s food, and everyone knows food makes everything better.

Yeah, especially cake!

You know, you’re right, cake makes everything better.

“Well, when you’re finished, you all are free to go, I just wanted to let you lot in on our new guests,” Celestia said with a wink. She then proceeded to get up and make her way out of the room.

“Princess Celestia, where are you going,” asked a slightly confused Twilight. She had closed her book again, but kept it nearby.

“Oh, running a kingdom is busy work, I’m actually surprised our time together didn’t get interrupted,” Celestia sighed, and her posture slacked a bit. Huh, guess it isn’t easy to rule a kingdom anywhere. She turned to Luna and, wordlessly, Luna got up, and made her way over with her sister.

“Well, I bid you all farewell, and you two, try to keep out of trouble, okay,” Celestia asked, beaming a look back at Harry and me. I stopped halfway through my fritter, and just stared back, not sure entirely what she meant by that. I didn’t get a chance to ask before they left the room, and shut the door behind them.

I slowly proceeded to finish my breakfast for the second time now. Harry managed to strike up conversation with Applejack, something about one of the ponies mentioned in the story, Rainbow Dash. He might’ve been asking where she was, but I was too engrossed with my food to catch every word. Pinkie had a length of paper, and a quill, and was making a list of some kind. This was the first time I saw her doing something other than talk faster than the speed of sound.

Rarity and Spike had started talking about gems, and something about clothes. I didn’t think anything about it at the time, but with hindsight, I probably should’ve asked. Twilight went back to her book, and Fluttershy made her way back, and now sat nervously in her chair.

This scene played for at least a good couple of minutes while I finished my breakfast. Yeah, I know, relatively uneventful, but I was hungry, and we already had story time.

A few minutes later…

“Okay, so, where to now, ladies,” I said, walking over to the table and setting my now empty plate down.

“Now, we catch the train back home,” Twilight said, closing her book once more, and sliding it into a bag, which she then secured around her torso.

“There’s a train,” Harry asked, almost in disbelief. I couldn’t blame him, I had a hard time imagining a bunch of ponies trying to make a train.

“Oh yeah, don’t worry, it isn’t so bad once you get used to it,” Spike said, standing up and giving a nice big stretch. I got up and shuffled in my coat, trying to get it to rest comfortably on my body. After making sure my coat wasn’t causing me any discomfort, I did a quick lap around my chair, making sure my legs weren’t asleep. Fortunately they weren’t, and I couldn’t have been happier. That is until Harry decided to do the same thing, but flying.

“Show off,” I muttered under my breath. Apparently this was loud enough to illicit a giggle from Twilight, who was now next to me.

Applejack and Fluttershy came over towards me and Twilight, stopping right in front of us.

“Right, well if we’re gonna git back ‘fore lunch, we’d better be on our way,” said the cowgirl. Harry must’ve keyed in on the word “lunch” because he stopped halfway around the room, and bolted straight for us.

“Did someone say lunch,” he asked, making his landing right in front of us. I couldn’t help but laugh, of all the things he’d have to key on, it’d be about food.

“One thing at a time, sir, we still have to get back to town,” Rarity said, making her way over, with Spike happily trailing behind her. Once he got over, he walked over, and hopped on Twilight, like how you’d see cowboys do in rodeos.

“Well what’re we waiting for, let’s get going,” Spike said enthusiastically, pointing to the door. I saw Twilight shake her head before we made our way out. Well, at least we’re getting somewhere.

At the Train Station

“What what what WHAT,” I exclaimed in disbelief. I caught a glimpse of the train we were taking, and didn’t like the look of it. It looked like a candy train, held together with icing… How did this work? Are we going to eat the train when we get off?

That’d be de-LICIOUS!

Yeah, but not very safe. What if it rains?

That isn’t gonna happen, rain isn’t scheduled until Friday!

Oh, well if that’s the case then… Wait a minute…

“Don’t worry, it’s safe, I promise,” Twilight said reassuringly. She then proceeded to show the pony in the ticket booth her round trip tickets, and purchased two one ways for Harry and myself. Great, another thing I’m going to have to make up to her.

“There, whenever you guys are ready,” she said, turning and boarding the train. Everyone else immediately followed her. I, however, was the only one who didn’t jump at the chance to ride the candy train. I, eventually, worked up the nerve to board, and sit down between Harry and Applejack. The ride was relatively quiet, which was fine by me, but I was worried because Pinkie hadn’t said anything in a while. And it was frightening for me, because she was talkative not too long ago.

I was about ready to check and see if there was anything I should know about Ponyville beforehand… or ‘beforehoof’, i don't know, seems kinda punny… That is, until we came around a bend, and gave me a view of the valley below us. It was breathtaking, great big open fields, and a great view of the town that was to be our temporary home. Even from this far away, I could see movement in the small town below. Breaking my sight from the town, I saw what looked like a forest, but more spread out and calculated, like someone intended on growing the massive stretch of trees.

Dancing around the sight some more, I noticed a few other places of interest, a mass of clouds, which I later learned was the house of Rainbow Dash, and a real forest, the Everfree, I guess… unless there was some other forest I wasn’t told about. It was all just stunning, well, until night I guess, but I don’t intend on spending time out at night in the woods.
Ponyville Train Station

When we got there, I gave silent thanks that nothing bad happened. As we got off, however, Pinkie just exploded.

“OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHSOMUCHTODOGOTTAHURRYGOTTAHURRY,” and about as quickly as she spewed that one line out, she was gone in a pink blur. Harry sat there stunned in her wake, I however, was expecting something like that to happen, and let out a light chuckle.

“You gonna be alright there, champ,” I asked, smirking at his still reeling form. He just nodded, before he came to, and realized his jaw was on the ground. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

“Don’t worry ‘bout her, she’s prolly off plannin’ a big welcomin’ party fer the both of ya,” Applejack said, before turning away from us. “Anyways, ah’d better be getting’ back to the farm, y’all take care now, and welcome to Ponyville,” Applejack said, as she began making her way through town.

“Right, well, where do we go from here,” I asked the remaining ponies.

“Well, I have to get back to the library, its over near the edge of town, stop by if you get the chance later,” Twilight said, before thrusting a hoof at a tree near the edge of town. Upon closer inspection, I sat that it had windows, a balcony, and possibly a telescope? Interesting, I’ll have to remember where it is so I can visit later.

"R-r-right, well, I-I’d better get b-back, I’m sure Angel is worried sick,” Fluttershy said in her whispering voice. Wait…

“I’m sorry, who’s ‘Angel,’” I blurted out. Oh crap, I just said the in my head thing out loud.

“Oh, Angel is my pet bunny, you’d like him, he’s really sweet,” Fluttershy said, perking up a bit.

“Maybe later, right now, I’d like to see where we’ll be staying for a while, umm, where do you live, exactly,” I pondered, before getting a yellow hoof in a direction away from town. Off in the distance, I could see a small cottage with little bunnies and stuff runnin’ around, oh it was sooooo cute. I mean uhh… whatever.

“C-come by whenever you want, umm, I mean, umm,” Fluttershy said, suddenly stumbling over her invitation. Harry chuckled, before moving over right next to her.

“Don’t worry, we’ll knock first,” he said, giving Fluttershy a sly wink. I facehoofed, what in the world Harry, that didn’t even make any sense. Fluttershy just gave a quick yelp before backing away from him, earning another light chuckle.

“Right, well, we’d best get you two situated, before you frighten her all the way home,” Twilight said, rolling her eyes. I nodded, and gave Harry a quick, but light punch to the shoulder.

“C’mon Romeo, we’d best get you inside before you somehow make someone else mad at you,” I irritably said to the playful pegasus. I know I’m going to regret that later, but for now, I’m anxious to see where we’ll be staying.

“Yes, if you two will kindly follow me, we’ll be back to the boutique in no time,” Rarity said with a flourish.

“Alright, well, see you later, Rarity,” Twilight said, giving a quick wave goodbye to the hoity toity unicorn.

“Yes, umm, goodbye Rarity,” Fluttershy said, more a squeak than a sentence, but still somewhat audible.
And just like that, we were off into our first great adventure, TO THE… wait, did she say we were going to a boutique?

Beds, Baths, and Boutiques

We arrived at a place called “Carousel Boutique.” It was… well… not unexpected given that its owner is Rarity. Still, it was just so…… girly… I felt my eye twitch just from looking at it.

“Yes well, please excuse the mess, I haven’t had a chance to tidy up,” Rarity said, opening the door, revealing a large room that was full of pony shaped mannequins, and bolts of fabric strewn about like kids on the last day of spring break. Everything was in disarray, at least to me.

I saw something dart at me from the corner of my eye. Instinctively I closed my eyes, expecting something to hit me, claw me, rush past me, or make me fall on my face. Instead, I felt a gentle rubbing against my legs. I slowly opened one eye, and glanced down to see an obscenely fluffy, white cat brushing against my legs. Upon closer inspection, I noticed it had a purple bow in its hair, and a collar with 5 gems in it, 2 smaller gems on each side of one larger gem.

“Opalescence, these are our guests, contain yourself,” Rarity said, shocked at the display of affection between the walking pillow, and one of her new acquaintances. The cat responded with a quick hiss, and resumed stroking herself against me legs. I had cats back home, and they all loved me to death, but this… I don’t even.

“Aww, c’mere you,” I heard Harry say, before he tried to pick the cat up. What came next was inevitable.
The cat saw his advance, and proceeded to lunge at him, and latch onto his head, and scratch furiously at her would be assailant. Harry reeled back and tried to pluck the cat off, but every time he did, he earned more swipes from Opal, and this continued for a good 10 seconds before Rarity decided to put a stop to it.

“Opal, no,” Rarity cried out, quickly lighting her horn in a light blue aura, and making the cat levitate off of the now scratch covered pony. “Are you alright,” Rarity said, convinced that Opal wasn’t going to hurt Harry anymore.

“Ow, why did he hurt me,” Harry said, examining and massaging some of his wounds. I snickered quietly to myself, Harry finally ran into something that didn’t quite agree with him.

“Well, SHE didn’t mean to, and she’s SORRY, isn’t that right, Opal,” Rarity said, now looking sternly at the cat. This earned her a huff and a disinterested look.

I trotted over, and brought a hoof up to the floating cat. She seemed to approve of me, and let me stroke her coat a few times, before deciding that it was enough. I then proceeded to enter the large main room of the shop. Whoah, this seemed a lot smaller from the outside. I heard hoofsteps coming from behind me. Shortly after, Harry and Rarity stood next to me.

“Yes, home sweet home, let me show you two where you’ll be staying,” Rarity said, before turning to lead us up a flight of stairs. I nodded and began to follow. Opal was put in what appeared to be a cage on the other side of the room.

“Uhh, do you have something for these cuts,” asked a slightly concerned Harry.

“I believe I have something in the bathroom upstairs, come, I’ll get you fixed up after we show you your room,” Rarity said, without even breaking her stride. That was some trick, talking to someone without even slowing down.

“Oh, okay then,” Harry said reluctantly, before sluggishly trailing behind us.

Once we got upstairs, she began showing us the floor. Simple layout for the hallway, first door on the right was hers, first one on the left was the bathroom, second on the right was a spare bedroom, the one she was letting us use, and the second on the left was a laundry room.

“Here is your room, you may take a moment to get situated, I’ll tend to your friend’s ahem… wounds,” she said, stifling a laugh. Harry just rolled his eyes, and they both went back to the bathroom to get him fixed up. I took this time to examine the room. Simple enough layout, a window, a bed, an armoire, and for some reason a pony mannequin in the far right corner.
I took my coat off and placed it on the mannequin, figuring it was there for just that reason. I proceeded to sit on the bed and look out the window. Silence fell over the room, I took a deep breath, relaxing knots I didn’t realize I had. I had just begun to close my eyes until I heard a familiar voice.

“OW, hey, watch it, that hurts,” I heard Harry cry from the bathroom.

“Oh relax, it’ll feel better after a bit,” I heard Rarity snap back at her ahem… ‘patient.’

I let out a light chuckle before getting up and walking over to open the window. Ahh, such a nice breeze. You know, I wouldn’t mind spending at least some time here, something just… I don’t know.

“Hey, mister, what’re you doing in my sister’s house,” I heard a voice call out from outside. Whuh? Sister?

I glanced down to see another white unicorn, similar to Rarity, but instead had a set of green eyes, and pink and purple mane. Oh, and she was smaller, but that could’ve been from my point of view from the second story window.
I eyed the unicorn suspiciously before calling out to Rarity.

“Hey Rarity, someone’s here to see you, something about a sister, I dunno,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on the newcomer.

I heard something crash in the bathroom, before I heard some strange yelping noises. I imagined Rarity dumping a bottle of disinfectant all over Harry, and him rolling around on the floor from the overwhelming burning sensation that would come from it. I chuckled, before disregarding my situation and falling over, grabbing my stomach, laughing uncontrollably.

Shortly after my cackling crusade had ended, I heard a pair of hoofsteps coming up the stairs… down the hallway… and stopping at the still open door. And there stood one Rarity, and one little white/pink/purple unicorn.

Oh, this is going to be fun.

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Author’s Note: Sorry this chapter took so long, had a bit of writer’s block, and couldn’t think of how to proceed. I’m going to start introducing some plot twists for our 2 humans, and one will involve the 3 fillies we know and love as the CMC. Anyways, let’s make 3 lines now, one for Angry, one for Livid, and one for “Those who want to wring my neck.” Please stay with your line and wait for your number to be called. (Brian Regan said that, if you recognized the joke.)