Life of a rehabilitated government spy

I look at the water in front of me. Waiting patiently for a lone soul to enter.  It was a long day at training, I deserved that water, and I needed to relax, so what better than a nice warm bath? As I settle in, the water coming to my chin and the air warming up. I think of my life, ya know, what everyone does in the bathroom.... Exception to pedophiles...

I have a really boring life, for a militia member. I go to school and learn, then train, then work, then sleep, rinse, and repeat. Nothing special unless there is a mission, then I get to sneak about in the dark for up to 48 hours yah.

“stil l”

I say aloud

“I could do with something new....” I look around at the tan tiles around me. Then glance at the yellow curtains to my left.

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“Come on anything?”

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I sigh, glancing through the haze of steam at my toes.

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CRRAACKK. This noise is followed by a flash, then silence.

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“Thank you.... I think” I say, getting up and pulling aside the curtain. As I step out I trip over something squishy, hit my head on the toilet, and commence bleeding, everywhere. “Owwww, sshh, Shiznits, Megan is not going to like that” I sigh to myself, ya really should watch out for those nasty....

“HOLY TEETS!!.... there is a naked hot chick on my floor, and I don't think I paid for her....” I wait for that universal sign of discovery...

From somewhere in the distance

“doo doo doo doooo”

What a life. I look down through one eye (The other being covered in blood) at the girl. First on agenda, She has pink hair, cool I think? Two, she is naked, do not know if good or bad. Three, she is unconscious, on the floor, in my house, and I have no FUCKING IDEA WHERE SHE CAME FROM!!! Besides that, I guess I can deal. Probably.

Okay first step, fix the first problem, Naked girl. And who better to call than Megan, the neighborhood nurse, my friends GF, and, a girl, she'll have clothes!! I glance at her again.... DANG GIRL, those must be D size or something, she must try or something, because DAMN she is fine....

After that line of thought I turn. Put a towel to my waist and my head, and walk out to the kitchen phone. I'm a man, not a dick.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Ca-click

“Mark, if your hurt, I'm not coming over.” I feminine voice replies to the unheard question...

“Well, that's only half the reason for this call Megan.”

“So?”

I breath in “Iwasinthebathwhenalightflashedandigotoutandtripped” I breath in again “ThenIhitmyheadonthetoiletandlookdownandItrippedoverareallyhotgirlwhowasnakedandoutonthefloor”

“So you hired a whore and she passed out?”

“No, I have no clue who she is!!... and I still have cash in my wallet!!”

“....I'm coming, but only to make sure she won't hurt you her, you know how to wrap your own head ya ijit”

“Cool see you in” I hear a dull, metallic thump, and turn around to see the girl holding a pan. Now with a covering of my on it “Ow” I fall to the floor in a heap.

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I wake up a minute later to the buzzing of the phone. “Now whoer left that phorn off thert hurk?” I slur, slowly gaining my awareness.

“EEP!” Someone whispers.

I turn to see the culprit of my haze, menacingly, cowering, behind the table. I stop thinking at that point. It is not her actions that surprised me, but the fact I just got mugged by, for all I can tell, an angel.

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“Dear god” I say “Why hast thou cast unto me an angel?”

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God doesn't reply, he does that a lot. I stand up slowly, and walk over to her. “Hey” no response, except now she isn't shaking. “Hey, don't be afraid, I'm just as confused as you are, probably..” I quietly whisper to her. This gets her to look up at me. The moment she does, her whole demeanor changes.

“Oh my gosh did I do that?!?!” She says, her voice is quiet, yet soothing, like she is talking to a scared animal. I like it! “Umm no, not re” “Shhh, don't talk, I will fix this!” then she is up on her feet, and stumbles, falling into me.

“What, what hap-happened ta to my hoo hoo” She stutters, looking at me “Hooves?” she finishes.

“I have no clue, what your are talking ab”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AHHHH AHHHH AH AH AH AH AHHHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” She whispers right in my ear? If she had no clue how to walk, how did she get to the kitchen. Grab a frying pan I didn't even own, and knock out a Shadow operative?

Luckily I am saved by the door opening. “MEGAN, HELP!!!!” I yell, a little confused. She walks in the kitchen with her arms full of clothes, looks at the scene, before she faints on the luckily placed Peter. He then looks at my, grins, before the girl in my arms faints as well. “Well shit, nice hooker. Lets put them on the couch and..... does she have wings?!?!” He says to me, voice raising, causing my eyes to look down again. I like the view.

“I don't know what else they could be mate, but where going to need scizzors stat.” I reply.

The two of us then commence to drag the surprisingly heavy girl, and the stunningly light girl, I won't tell you which, into the lounge room. Peter goes back and grabs scissors while I wrestle with putting clothes on the naked one. This is really hard, mainly due to the wings. The noise of this awakens Megan. She looks at me, facepalms, grabs me ear, and shoves me upstairs. “Don't come down till your dressed, really, no wonder she was flipping a switch.” I look down at my manhood..... “Oh....” During the last bit my towel came off....

I quickly run up stairs and spend a bit getting dressed. Then I checked my phone and responded to a text from Keaton, one of my other friends, who had asked if anything interesting was happening. I reply “Meh, nothin much”. Then I realize I should go help the couple downstairs, and run down the stairs. The top stairs top slides off, and sends me tumbling. Kids, let this be a lesson, stair TRY and hurt you.

As Peter helps me up from my fall, I glance at the now clothed girl, who is awake and whispering to Megan. “What happened?” I ask quietly..... “Well, she woke up, saw M&M Smiling, and hugged her, then got dressed with help, and they have been talking evver since. What took ya so long?” HE finished.

“I got distracted by a llama and an emu?”

“Shut up”

“Okay”

I walk around the couch and sit down next to the girl.....

I look at her, then Megan, then past the both of them to the blinds over the window. Those blinds are nice, a good tone of gray. They really match the... Oh yea, people are here. Not really used to that.

I look at Megan, who looks at me and sighs. “She says her name is Fluttershy...” I grin before turning to Fluttershy. “Hello Fluttershy, I'm Mark Padraik, and you have already met Megan, the only other living entity here is him, he's called Peter O'Conner.” I grin when I finish, holding my hand out in a friendly shake. Sadly, I don't radiate calmness and friendship like Megan. Instead, I've been told I just feel, chaotic? The lady was completely chocolate wasted at the time.

After a reassuring grin from Megan, she turns around and slowly looks up. I admit, I am at least, slightly attractive, no Peter, or god bless Keaton (you'll understand later), but I am good looking. This being said, I did not expect yet another scream.

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPMMRRRRRRRRPPPPHHHHHHH” She squeaks, before diving into Megans lap. I do what I do best, look confused, while Peter falls and hits his head, leaving a red splotch on my Gramps nice blue couch. Eff

“Your cover fell out Mark” Megan states, as if I should have known.

Quick 101 for you, the planet I live on (Y-246) is extremely small, almost half the size of Earth, yet same gravity. This is due to an extremely dense and unknown element. It gives off radiation, but it is none we know of. Best of all, it does not seem harm living beings. But it has caused a string of occasional mutations to some people. It is so common actually, most people forget about it completely. My mutation isn't that big of a deal, I just have what the doctors call an “inverse eye”. It is like a normal eye, but black, with a white cornea. Plus, while they doctors can't explain it, I can see dark,  kind of the opposite of your normal eye. But, it does look REALLY freaky.

Anyways, I guess my tumble down the stairs knocked out the cover I use. Which doesn't help to solve my random girl problems.

“OOOHHhhhh, well, ummm” I jump the couch and run back up the stairs again, avoiding the last step due to its tendency to slip off. I run into my room, open my desk drawer, pop in my spare cover, and turn into the wall.... I then turn the other way, run down the hall, Slowly walk down the stairs and sit back down.

“Okay, now I'm not all freaky demon scary thing, promise...”

“hrrmhrm hrmhrs?” I hear mumbled from her. I turn to Megan, looking for a translation. “Uhh, she said “Pinkie promise?”” Megan gets tired of me really fast. Luckily, she isn't my girlfriend!

“Umm, sure? I Pinkie promsie?” After finishing she slowly peeks up and looks at me. And I grin in response. “Ayo, again, I'm Mark, Nice ta meetcha Flutershy.” I grin wider..

“Hello” She whispers.

“Well, how did you end up naked in my bathroom?” I bluntly reply, people say its a good thing. People also say they lie to me....

“My friend Twilight was working on a new spell, when there was a big scary flash, and the n I was here, if that's okay” she says...

“Well, okay. Do you have someplace to stay?” Megan asks, before I can say anything else.

“no not really..”

“Well, until we can find someplace else, you'll have to stay here with Mark” She glares at me and Peter. Both of us about to protest. Me, because I like the privacy of self. Peter, because he is a pervert.

“Good, next would be getting you a job, but, you would be noticed, mainly due to your name. Sorry, but thats going to go.” She sighs. I don't question her logic, just how she knows it at all.

“Megan?” I ask

“Yes mark?” She sighs.

“You think my gramp is going to let this happen?”

“He better, just explain, and hope for the best. And if all else fails, you know where I live.” She finishes, before looking at Peter. “Got any ideas for a name?”

“What? When ya tell me ta do that? I'm just the innocent bystander in all of this!!” He replies.

The door opens..

“Actually, I'm the innocent and clueless one right now... And who is she?” Keaton says, glancing at Fluttershy.

“We don't know, quick, first GOOD girl name go!!” I shout at him, causing Fluttershy to cringe.

“umm, Emily Strein?” He says.

“Let's go with that, all I had was German names.” Says Peter.

Megan turns back to Fluttershy. “Is that an okay name for you? Don't worry, it's not permanent, just till we get you settled.”

“I guess it's fine, as long as you like it?”

“Then lets get you a job” I grin again, before jumping up.

“Sit down now”

“Yes Megan” I sit down, frowning. She is good at stealing my vibe.

“I, am going to take her clothes shopping, and settle with the government. YOU, are going to do what you usually do.” She firmly states to the three of us.

“You mean nothing, getting in trouble, and fixing the problems? Not in that order of course?” Keaton says.

“Exactly, now Peter, give me your keys.”

“But MEEEGAaaann!!!” Groans Peter, earning a glare. He then grudgingly hands her his keys.

“Good, come on Shy, Emily, yes, lets get you some clothes. If we're lucky, we might find someone who knows whats going on.” She then pulls Shy.. sorry, Emily, out the door, leaving us alone.

“Welp” I sigh “I gotta go to work. Keaton, you can help yourself to anything if ya get me some snacks, like usual. Peter, go to work, ya lazy ass”

“Arse” Peter corrects, giving me a shit faced grin.

I turn, and walk outside to the garage and open it up. Glancing inside I see my thermal board (Solar mountain board+), a bullet bike (Self explaining), and my half destroyed Stingray with a reality distortion field (For extra groceries). I walk over, grab my board and ride down my driveway, tossing the keys to Peter as I go past.

“Your gonna wreck it someday Peter.” I grin, sliding my helmet on, safety first.

“Yea, well, it's not like I have another one.” He sarcastically smirks acting as he won the argument...

“... Which you gave to your GF mate...”

“.....Fuck” He facepalms after saying this. I just grin and ride out of the yard, starting the board up as I go. The status bar in my visor says it has 58% battery, just enough for work and back. I roll down the street a bit more, before kicking up the rpm and start hauling down the street.

Pulling a quick hop over the curb dodging around my gramps, no doubt coming to check on the house.

“YOU BETTER SPEED UP IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT!!!” He shouts as I pass. Gotta love Gramps, he knows how to help.

I have to show I got it, before speeding up more, now clearing nearly forty mph. I lean down tight, grabbing the board and leaning left, pulling onto the freeway. As I hit traffic, I start to slow down, letting my duck and weave between the many floating vehicles.

I do this for a good fifteen minutes, before taking an exit. This come out into the Business District of Largos. I pull up to a red light and hold my arm out to the left. Someone in a roadster pulls up next to me.

“HEY GAY!! CAN YA HERE ME THROUGH THAT HELMET??” The driver yells... Fuck.

It's none other then Ben Theos, local cop, Militia reject, and absolute dick. Why now of all times? First, freaky angel girl, kinda, Then work, now this? You suck God.

Lifting my visor I sigh, before responding. “Yes Ben, I here you, What do you want?” I grimly ask, knowing he won't let the light change. Really wish coppers couldn't do that.

“I saw Megan and some really hot chick with wings for a mute at the mall earlier. They said she was stayin' with you? What, you finally grow some balls and buy a whore?” He spits, shit, he must have really like “Emily”.

“One, she isn't a whore. Two” I grin at him. “The time limit for an officer to hold a light, has just been exceeded.” I then drop my visor, and kickstart my board as fast as it can go. Shooting off to the left, I here him start to reply, but it fades out fast. Man he is a deuce.

After a couple minutes, I pull into the parking lot of the local Silvers gym. I pop my board up, slide my helmet off. I check my head to make sure it has healed fully, before pushing inside.

“MARK!! YOUR ALMOST LATE!!” Yells my manager, Taylor. Bird and her run a tight shift, but I get SOME free space due to the fact I'm a personal trainer.

In the back of the place I hear Bird. “IS THAT MARK? IF SO, TELL HIM HE GETS ONE MINUTE TODAY!!” Again, very tight shift.

“Good to see you to Taylor. How long till Jack, Christa, and Jerry get here?” I reply, throwing in a fake grin. Those three where the first of four, the last one is registered under my Aunt Vicky's name, so tonight might actually be fun.

“You have three minutes until Jack, you have an hour with each, okay? Hurry up, Bird wants you in and” I cut her off.

“Yea yea yea, in and out in a minute, I heard, just leave the key in my locker, I'll get the place cleaned.” By the way, I am also the janitor. Two in one, and amazing pay, I can't complain.

53 seconds later

After changing into my workout slacks, I start stretching. This I won't go into details on, mainly because I'm not gay. I do this until Jack walks in, Luckily he changed before hand. People learn quick around here I guess.

“Okay, your marathon is in twelve days, so lets practice your endurance. First fifteen for warmup on the elliptical, then two for break, thirty around the building, three break, then ten for cool down in the freezer. That okay?” I grin as he makes hand signatures. By the way, Jack has no tongue.

We then spend his hour going through the above listed work out. Afterwards, I grin as he leaves, still chuckling about his last joke. As he leaves, he waves to Christa, who just walked in. I don't.

“Okay, Christa, I told you to come changed. Your going to have to do the run.” I sigh, causing her to freeze in place. The run starts out with a five minute soak in the hot tub. Then a nude mile outside. I have worse, but that's only for people who forget there clothes at all.

She facepalms before walking into the back with her head down. Clothes under her arms. After a bit of waiting, she walks out, flushed and blushing, but ready to go.

“You have about thirty five minutes, what do you want to do?” I ask.

“How about a bit in the weight center, then 100 meter dash till the end?” She replies firmly. What can I say, she is very muscular.

“Okay, lets go” I grin, I won't tell, mainly due to the large amount of grunting coming from the both of us. After she's done and heads out, I wait five minutes, before getting a call. He had to cancel due to a “Slimy” situation, whatever that means.

“So” I sigh out loud. “Fifty-five minutes to clean up early till the next one... God, If he/she is a dick, I will become an atheist!!” I then start my cleaning. This follows with more amounts of grunting, which ends when I here the doors open.

“Hello?” A rough voice shouts. Definitely a girl, maybe she's like Christa, all muscle?

“In the back, you dressed ready to go?” I reply, sliding out from under the machine I'm working on. I'm also the mechanic.

“What?” She flatly replies, walking out from behind the wall that separates the workroom from the entrance. I look up to see Vicky grinning beside a very interesting sight indeed.

The thing that did surprise me was not the light blue wings, oh no, seen and done. Nor was it the fact she had an AMAZING body. No, it was the rainbow hair. I have a strange sense of weird things. I sit there a second, before giving a massive grin at Vicky, who raises her eyebrow.

“Mark, if you say what I think you are, I will” She stops as my mouth begins to open, letting in the sweat filled air around me.

“Are you lesbian or something?” I say, before I realize my mouth even moved..

“Fuuu” I am slammed into the ground by the rainbow blur, I stop, feeling the wind gust around my hair. The girl is holding my down by my neck. She looks really angry.

“What. Did. You. Say?” She grunts at me.

“Well, I thought you dyed your hair, so ya know, I just kinda guessed you were swingin' the other way, if ya know whaaaackkkcCKCKCKCCCCCHHSHHH” She starts putting pressure on my throat, bad day for me I guess.

Luckily for me, someone opened the front door, making the little bell tinkle. Rainbow looks up, giving me the chance to throw her off me. I quickly hop up, then make a run for the counter. I grab the wall, swinging myself around... And taking out Megan....

“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!” She shouts at me.

“Weeeellll..”

“Don't you DARE finish that” She grunts, getting up and brushing herself off.

“So, why did you come? Because I have this crazy chick I have to work with... Oh, she also has wings like Emily so... Emily.... You can stop hiding now.” I notice her, behind he desk shivering.... Man, she is really easy to scare.

After she stands up, Megan begins to tell me how she has the night shift, and my house was locked, so Emily is gonna chill here.

“Hey, If she wants some money, she can always clean the place?” I suggest, looking at Emily.

“sure, if that's okay with you, I guess” She whispers.

“Cool, just polish everything really” I wave to Megan, who in turns flips me off. Eesh.

“Anyways, I have to work with this girl named rainbow” Her eyes shoot open, and she zooms around the corner. After a second I hear a scream and quickly follow.

When I turn I see Emily crying into Rainbow, who has the biggest grin on her face.

“OH my GOSH FLUTTERSHY!!” Shouts Rainbow. After a minute of giggling, the two describe what happened to each other. Rainbow appeared in my Aunt and Uncles living room, scaring Dean. Vicky, after a bit, decided to take her in, she clothed and helped her. Then there was girly stuff (I tend to zone that out) After a bit, Vicky said she would take Rainbow to the gym, and promised I would get her someplace to stay.... You suck Vicky.

“OOOkay you two, I get that your friends, but Rainbow here one, needs a new name, sorry, two, you have about thirty minutes left till your times up. Because I kind of understand your situation, you get one free pass, go grab some clothes from the front. After that, we can do one activity. Now, GO”

I shout the last bit, which causes Rainbow to jump off and fly to the front. After some rustling she fly's to the locker room. Then a moment later she come out in gym clothes.

“I have to give you props, you are really fast.” I grin at her, giving a quick clap.

“You know it, I'm the fastest flyer in all of Equestria!!” She matter of factly says...

“OOOkkkay then Mrs. cocky, whadda ya wanna do?” I ask...

“RACE!!!” She jumps up and shouts. Emily, who was cleaning the treadmills, lets out another little EEP.

“Okay then, we have time for one lap around the building, but I should let you know, no one has ever beat me in a foot race, outside the Shadow corp.”

“Bring it grumpy, I could beat you anywhere, anytime, With!! my wings tyed.” She smugly states.

“You brought this on yourself, how much of a head start do you want?” This caught her off guard as she gives me a strange look.

“Pshhhh, looks who's cocky now, I don't need one. Now let's go!!!” She then runs out, with me in tow.

As we come outside, I line us up against a pillar near the doors. “Okay, on three then.”

“One” She pops her back.

“Two” We both get ready to start.

“THREE!!!” I shout, taking off down the sidewalk.

She keeps up with me till we round the building. Once we turn, I start hauling down watching her slowly lag behind. I pull around the second corner and speed up. Halfway in the back I jog backward, watching her grit her teeth and push harder. I grin, turn around, and run as fast as I can. I glance behind me and see her puffing hard, yet still loosing ground. I turn just in time to see the loading dock. Normally I would jump it, since it's only about four and a half feet high. Sadly, I was to late.

I watch, and feel, as my left foot hits it at nearly thirty mph. Then my leg bends and my knee caps shatter on the wall. Up next is my ribs, I audibly hear some of them break. Due to my momentum, I am flung up over it, I do a flip, then land on my left elbow, shattering that as well. I then face plant, followed by the rest of my body and skid maybe fifteen feet? I don't know, I kinda hurt, a lot.

“HOLY CELESTIA ARE YOU OKAY!!” Rainbow creams, catching up to me.

After she helps me up I grin at her. “Trust me, I've done worse. Help me around front, then we can call 911, okay?” She lets me lean on her and we walk around the last corner.

As we approach the door, I tap Rainbow with my semi good arm. “Hey, rainbow?”

“Yea?”

Using the last of my Adrenaline, I make a mad dash for the door. I hit it and laugh out loud. “Still won” I grin at her. The look of utter shock on her face was priceless. To bad I passed out from blood loss a moment later.