Life of a rehabilitated government spy

I yawn and sigh to myself, “That was a good nap” I whisper, and sit up k ind of. As I try to sit up again, I feel a that I'm strapped to something. So, to investigate, I open my eyes.

“Holy HELL!! WHY IS IT SO BRIGHT IN HERE!!!!!!!” I shout, blinking for a few moments while I try get used to it. “AND WHY AM I STRAPPED TO A TABLE!!!” I shout again, realizing which of the two problems is worse. It takes almost five minutes before someone walks in, giving me plenty of time to realize where I am at.

“Ahh, Mark, it is so good to see you again.” Doctor Samuel Bakarsk says to me, walking in clamly.

“Doc, what. Did. You. Do. TO ME!!!” I yell, normally when I get sent here, I'm just in a nice bed. “AND WHERE IS MY CAR!!”

“Umm, Mark, are you feeling okay? You did seem to have a mild case of head trauma.” He picks up a clip board by my bed. “Among, other, things... Eight broken ribs, shattered your left leg, split the right. You decimated both kneecaps. Your right arm is also broke, the left was sprained. Along with that, your whole body was torn up.  What did you do boy? Are you trying to get killed?” He sighs, before signing it and setting it back down. He sits down in a chair next to the bed and looks at me.

“Well?” He looks at me. “And we have never have your car, usually one of your friends grabs it.”

“Anyways, when can I head out, I have, business, to attend to.” I say, thinking about the two girls I'm 'watching'. Emily can barely handle anything no offense. Then Rainbow, who needs a name by the way, will probably burn the house down.... fudge.

“Ohh, those girls at your house? You don’t need to worry about those four. I'm sure that Kayla can keep them in line. She might seem nerdy and socially challenged at times, but she can sure put the rules down.” He grins at me, my mouth hanging open. When did two become four? I really need to get home now.

“Doc?” I ask, thinking of the last time I visited.

“Yes Mark?”

“How long this time?”

“Ohh, six days today.” He sighs, “You really are pushing for a coma at your rate.”

I sit there a moment. Before looking down at my phone, then at Doc. “Can you please, LET ME OUT NOW!!”

“Hey now, no need to shout, just calm down.” He then leans over and starts to undo the straps. The moment he finishes I throw the sheets off and dash for item claim. I get out of bed for maybe two steps, before I crumple to the floor in agony.

“Oh yea.” Doc leans over at me grinning. “You haven’t fully healed your leg, and about six of the eight broken ribs. Have a good time!!” He then helps me up, and hands me a crutch. “Be happy your arm healed up at its normal rate.”

I glare at him, before sighing and grabbing the crutch. “Thanks doc. Hope to never see you again.” We both grin, before I hobble past him.

“Same to you, now get some decent clothes on, you have for young women at your house!!” he says, waving at the gown I have on.

“Don't remind me.” I sigh again, before quickly going to item claim.

48 Minutes Later

“Okay” I say to myself. “Megan grabbed my board, and I don't have enough cash to get a cab to my house. My phone is dead and...” I stop, looking into the sky, watching a rainbow speed towards me. That is strange, normally rainbows don't do that. Maybe the guys in one of the labs got something new. Or, I squint at the rainbow. Noticing the person leading it.

“And thus, I am screwed.” The annoying voice of logic says in my head.

“Shut up you.” replies the rest. “You have no fun.”

After that little bit, the rainbow ends in the parking lot with a massive whooshing sound. It decided, lets not be a rainbow anymore. Lets turn into an angry girl with wings instead!!!

“You are such an IDIOT!!” Rainbow says, running up to me, slapping me hard in the face. I look at the cement making the sidewalk.

I turn my head back and look at her, watching as tears brim in her eyes. They are really cool eyes, I will admit. But wow, know a girl for an hour, and she already gets all, girly, over you.

“Ow?” I say, not knowing anything else to do.

“You are really stupid. You could have DIED!!!” She shouts, before giving me a quick hug. And as quick as it started, it ends, aw well. She wipes her face, than gets all grumped up.

“Come on.” She says, acting all annoyed. “Megan is picking us up in your car on the corner.” She then grabs my arm and pulls. Knocking my crutch out from under me.

I fall

I sit there stunned, on the cement. I stair at some gum someone spit out and left there. Poor gum, never to be swallowed, then pooped out and sent to the sewage plants. Sucks for it!!

“OH MY GOSH I'm so sorry!!” She shouts, then grabs my good arm and starts helping me up.

“Hey calm down okay? Gosh, it's almost like your dating me, really, just hand me the crutch, then let's get out of here.” I sigh, causing her to blush, then angry.

“Why would I ever date you, you would get hurt to much.” She says... Wow, burned there alright.

“Look, can we just go? I'm already tired, plus I learned I took in two more homeless girls. I have to make sure the house is okay, or my gramps is gonna.” I'm cut off by her as we walk away.

“Don't worry about that. Your granddad was the one who found and let Twilight and Rarity in the house to stay.” She grins at me as we come to my car.

I open the door and wave at Megan, who only grumbles. Dash hops in the back, then I climb in and ride shotgun.

“Besides, Megan and Peter have been over almost every day to keep us out of trouble. I'm learning how to drive!!” She proudly proclaims the last bit. This causes me to stutter and look at Megan.

“Gramps idea.” She says, before pulling out and heading home. “And “Kayla””

“That's Twilights code name.” Dash says in a hushed voice. “Mine is Jackie!” She says, before leaning back, acting all chill.

“Anyways, Kayla walked in, read a few books, and had this running by sundown. Her telekinesis is really useful.” Megan finishes, glaring at Jackie through the mirror, no doubt done talking for the rest of the trip.

“Well, my mind has been Fucked.” I sigh, sinking into my chair to sulk. A little while later we pull up to the house.

“Here.” Megan says a moment later. She the hops out, hands me the keys, before grabbing her bike and leaving.

Jackie leans forward. “Why does she hate you so much?” She asks.

“I am a very, very good prankster.” I sigh.

“What did you do?” She asks as we climb out.

“Well, I convinced her of some things, I really shouldn't have...” I sigh, it was a good idea at the time.

“We need to work together sometime. I prank people all the time!” She grins back as me.

“Meh, my days are over.” I say, hobbling to the door.

“Buut Maaarrrkkkkk!!” She says, in that high pitched whiny voice only girls and small children can hit.

As I walk inside, I hear a very upper class voice call out “Oh Jackie? Is that you? Did you get your kind friend?”

I sigh, not even ready to try and find out who that is. Instead, I flop onto the couch, letting my crutch fall to the floor. Jackie follows me in, closes the door, and sits by me. I pull a key out from my pocket and lean over, opening the chest I use as an ottoman. It is rather big, and made out of some dark wood, I really don't know which. I pull out a box with all my gaming stuff inside. Luckily no one tried to open this.

“What are those?” Asks Jackie, leaning over to look at the controller I pulled out.

“This, is how I like to relax.” I grin at her before turning on the console, pulling up an FPS game.

“Whats that?” She says again, pointing at the screen.

“Thats a television.” I sigh, going into the menus, I pull up zombies. Which gets a strange look from her.

“What are you doing with zombies?” She asks, again. This girl can pester.

“I'm killing them” I sigh, before putting on my headset. Before she can ask anything else I jump into a random game.

After thirty minutes of non stop mayham in the game, and constant questions from Jackie I give up and hand the controller over to her. This earns a cheer from hr.

“Ahh come on Mark! You could have taken them out!!” She says sacrasticlly.

“Trust me, I would rather not have. Now, I'm going up stairs, and please, don't burn the house down.” I sigh, awkwardly reaching for my crutch.

As it's surrounded by a purple glow I sigh “..... I give up” and it floats into my lap.

I look towards the kitchen and see two new girls looking at me. I stand up, and wave to the both of them.

“Hello! I'm...” I cut her off.

“Okay, look, I'm tired, so let's save that for tomorrow. I am in major pain, and need sleep” I then start working my way around the couch and up the stairs.

“Oh, he is Rude.” Says the other girl. Great, we got ourselves a critic.

“I'm not rude. I'm just tired.... And hungry.” I shout, before going into my room and plopping onto the bed. This is going to be an interesting weekend I think before nodding off.

12:45 PM

“MARK GET UP THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!” Someone shouts in my ear.

“Jackie” I reply, not even moving “You better be telling the truth, or there is food downstairs. Because if you aren't, I'm throwing you to the mountain bears.” I say, before flipping over and sitting up. Groaning due to my soar limbs.

“..... Bwahahahahahah!!” She starts laughing. I get bed head, so what?

I sigh, before leaning back and throwing my pillow at her. Completely taking her down. I then get up and go back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Foooooood!!” I groan, walking in and smelling something delicious.

I open my eyes long enough to see the fridge open. I quickly set about making myself a nice sandwich. After thoroughly enjoying it. I walk over and collapse onto the couch again. I start to stare at the faint blue wall in front of me.

“I, have no life.” I sigh, looking around, trying to find something to do besides video games.

“Well,” someone says behind me “If that where true, wouldn't you be dead?” The voice asks.

I turn to see the girl from earlier, she has purple hair with two stripes. She was carrying some books under her arms, and was wearing a gray skirt and a sweater.

“Figure of speech” I reply, mentally groaning.

“So, who are you?” I ask, trying to be polite.

“Oh I'm sorry, I am Twilight Sparkle, Celestia's personal student!” She beams at me, expecting a response. In return I stare, not knowing what the heck she is talking about.

After a moment she realizes what she said and blushes. “Sorry, I'm so used to saying that. But anyways, here, my name is Kayla. So far I have only seen three of my friends though, Have you seen the other two?” She asks.

“There is two more?” I respond.

“Well of course, Pinkie Pie and Applejack!!” She grins.

“Those are strange names” I say, slowly stopping my brain, so I don't have a hemorrhage

“Well, it is strange for here, sure. But where we...” She is cut off by Keaton walking out of the kitchen. A Massive donut in his hands.

He stops for a second, midway through a bite, before swallowing and looking at Kayle. He stands there a second, straitens out his clothes before grinning.

“Would you like a bite?” He asks, looking around. Jackie, who just walked downstairs, with her mouth hanging open, is staring at the size of the treat, nearly two feet across. Kayla is just looking at Keaton. I, on the other hand, facepalm.

“Keaton”

“Yea Mark?”

“Me gusta no pantalones?” I say, grinning at him. He looks at me, before grabbing his phone and calmly walking into the laundry room. If it was me, I would have probably just stood there until someone left. Keaton, has class.

Moments later he returns to a blushing Kayla, A stuffed Jackie, and a bored Mark.

“You ready Mark?” He asks, grabbing the keys from the little side table.

“You got it.” I grin, remembering the test, before jumping up and walking outside. We get out maybe ten feet before I feel a whooshing of air, then Jackie lands in front of me.

“What is WRONG WITH YOU!!” She yells in my face.

I almost say something stupid, before Keaton responds “Weellll, he is a genetically modified super spy with an uncanny nack for getting in and out of trouble. And hurting himself” He then hops into the car and waits.

“umm, I didn't mean that... AND I KNEW YOU WHERE A SPY!!” She shouts in my ear, before jumping up and down. “This is sooooo COOOL!! Do you spy on people. And do you go and take out targets, or steal things!!” She continues on. And on. And on.

I simply pull a Keaton and calmly walk around the confused girl, before hopping in the shotgun. Sighing, I think of the time I have left to relax.

I'm still 'hurt' to the Militia, mainly so I can get some free time. But coming end of the weekend, it's all work, no play. I have a week long mission lined up with Keaton and Jonah in deep territory. I also have to find two other psychotic women somewhere within the town apparently, and convince them to stay here till I find something better. Also, at the moment, I have to take my Final for theoretical physics. Fun time for two days.

Jackie climbs in behind me. “So where are we going?” She asks.

“The school” Keaton replies, before flying out of the driveway, sending Jackie sprawling.

“Buckle up!” I grin at her, before he pulls another turn and the car lurches down the street.

“Why, erk, are we going to the school of all places!” She groans. “It's the weekend!” Keaton drifts a stop sign, sending her to one side of the car.

“Because” Keaton says “We have to finish some tests.” This gets Another groan from the girl. I turn and look at her, before laughing, really, really hard.

She is using her wings, legs and one arm to hold herself still, while the other arm is wrestling with the seat belt.

“Why do you have to take tests? Can't we do something fun? Like race in the car....” She looks at my deadpan look. “… Or something?” She squeaks out, the seatbelt suddenly squeezing her. Against the back seat.

“Well, we could, or go to school for another year, ya know” I sigh, turning back around.

“Just for the record, I'm not happy with this.” She says.

After a very long and annoying drive to the campus, we park and get out. Jackie immediately takes off to who knows where, getting a few looks along the way. We shrug before heading into the building to start the test.

Five hour(ish) Later.

“That,” Keaton says, holding his head as we walk out. “Was the most Bullshit test ever.” He gets out to the lawn and collapses, staring blankly at the sky.

I look down at him. “Did you just, swear? Dear god, that must have really been bad on you!” I grin.

“Shut up! My head hurts already, I don't need you and your fancy 'I have photogenic memory' stuff right now. We are going home, and I'm crashing on your couch and eating your food. Now” He walks to the car and hops inside, honking the horn.

I shrug, before following the sulking man. As I walk I watch in slow motion as a speeding football flying towards him. “Oh shit.” I whisper, before watching him catch it without looking. He turns, see Jackie nervously grinning. She is standing around with the schools gridiron team.

Keaton turns slowly, giving a creepy grin to the group. The guys scatter, leaving Jackie sitting there by herself and confused. Keaton turns slowly, before winding up and slinging the ball faster than someone his size should have been able to do. It rockets over the local dorms. Everything goes silents for a moment, before I hear a window smash and someone shout.

“Oh crap” Says Keaton getting over his grump and realizing what he did. “Lets bail!” He frantically says, jumping back into the car. Jackie comes in right behind him. He starts it and pulls out as I get in. We then shoot off for home. Nobody saying anything until we pull into the driveway.

“That was AMAZING!” Jackie cheers. Whooping as she climbs out. “How did you do that! I mean, no offense, but your tiny! How!” She asks the poor boy.

He in turn, turns to her. After a moment, flips her off, then walks inside and flops on the couch. Instantly falling into a near comatose state. But not before mumbling “ Need ice cream... or will.... dieee”

“Did he just?”

“Yes, he had a long day in there, just let him be alone.” I say, walking inside and sitting next to him.

“You two are unruly and lazy pigs. Coming in here without knocking. And completely ignoring the lady in your presence. ” Someone snorts from behind us.

“Fuck offffffffff!” Keaton groans, before grabbing a pillow and covering his face.

“How rude!” The voice says, before giving a huff and stomping off. I hear complaining from the kitchen, then Kayla walks out.

She taps Keaton on the shoulder. He rolls over, looks at her, then sighs and walks into the kitchen. I hear him apologize bluntly, before coming out and flopping back down. Jackie giggles to herself before closing the door. She walks over and whispers in my ear.

“They are already acting like a couple” She laughs some more, before walking off.

After maybe thirty minutes of vegging, I stand up and grab a snack from the kitchen and a bowl of ice cream for Keaton. I sit down and drink the soda before sighing and making a bathroom trip. I walk in, eyes closed and feel for the toilet. I hit something big, round and firm. This causes a very scared EEP to escape the owner of the object.

I stop and begin to turn around, before I here a pop and smell candy. I open my eyes and see a mass of pink hair. And an demon glaring at me.

In a demonic voice I hear from everywhere “YOU HAST BROKEN A PINKY PROMISE!!” It booms.

“WHAT THE HELL!!” I shout back.

“NO ONE BREAKS A PINKY PROMISE!!” The voice responds.

I shut my eyes again. “IT'S NOT LIKE I MEANT IT! MY EYES WHERE EVEN CLOSED!! I'LL SAY SORRY REALLY” Not understand what is happening.

'Pop' “Oh okay!!” A cheerful voice says in front of me. I open my eyes to see a pair of blue eyes looking at me. “HIIIIIII!!!!!” I'm Pinkey pie!! But Juju said I need to go by Sarah!! So yea!! it's nice to meet you, Jonah said to come here! But I got lost and...” this went on for maybe a minute before Kayla walks in.

“TWILIGHT!!!!” The pink blur yells before lunging at her. I expect a smear on the ground, but instead see the two hugging and telling each other about there time here. I sigh, not even beginning to question this new girl.

I walk past the now group of five, the others hearing the shout and running into the room, and walk into the couch, sitting between Keaton and Jonah. Jonah just barely coming inside.

“So, Juju?”

“Shut the hell up or I will gut you with my teeth.” Jonah snarls, before sighing. “I don't even know how I got here. First, crazy naked girl appears in kitchen and start to cook well, everything. Once I get her settled with clothes, I start to head over here. Then she just disappeared. Like, legitimately, just gone. These past days have been like Where's Waldo but so much worse. And half way through the week, she decides we are dating as well... Not complaining. But I don't even know how I got here. One second I'm shopping with her at Wal-get. Next I'm here. Now, please excuse me, I'm going to sleep as well.” He then takes a deep breath, then slumps and falls asleep. I need to learn how to do that. It could save so much trouble.

I sigh before walking back into the kitchen and grabbing another sandwich in the fridge and walking out. I pass the girls and grunt “Quiet time, no talking or you sleep outside.” Then I walk past them into the living room. Hearing them grumble on the way out. “Also, please, don't burn the house down.”

My spot on the couch is already taken by Sarah, who is laying on Jonah. Keaton fell onto the floor, but is still asleep. I'm on the first step when the front door opens. Peter and Megan take one look, before closing it and leaving. I shrug before heading up stairs and into my bed, almost forgetting to skip the top step. Hope nobody hurt themselves while I was in the hospital. Anyways, to tired to care, and early to bed, Way to much time in the morning as my gramps says.

I strip down, and throw on some pajamas before looking around. I do a quick once over of my room making sure nothing was touched, before I climb under the covers. I sit there, before closing my eyes.

I open them a moments later I wake up to a light, and a crackling sound....

“HOLY SHIT THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE” I hear Keaton yell from downstairs.

“WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY ABOUT THIS!!” I shout, shutting my eyes even harder