Chapters Bzzt…Bzzt…Bzzt
Click!
“Mondaaaaaaaaay...” I sighed as I slammed the snooze button on the alarm clock. Great, here comes another 5 days of homework and stuff. I love Monday, who doesn’t love the Monday blues and saying goodbye to weekends?
Stupid Mondays, why couldn’t they start the week on Tuesday instead?
But that would just lead to the Tuesday blues and then we would wish the week would start on Wednesday and so on. Throwing off the duvet wrapped around my body, I slouched into the bathroom and closed the doors.
After the morning rituals were finished, I opened my closet to find the next in the file of shirts, pants and jackets... to be blue. Sighing, I put them on while silently cursing how 'lucky' that I am going to wear blue for the rest of the day. Basically, I looked like a poor man’s cosplay of Dr Manhattan minus the blue skin. Hey, it’s not because of Monday! They just happened to be the next in the stack of shirts, pants and jacket in my closet. And besides, blue’s my favourite colour, so sue me.
~5 minutes later
“ Morning mom, morning dad.” I yawned as I walked into the kitchen. My father was sitting on a chair like a boss (well he is one at his workplace), dressed in a white plaid shirt and a red tie while holding a mug of coffee, he was reading the newspaper and I can see the headline on it printed in huge bold ink.
'TELEPORTATION PROTOTYPE FAILED!'
Ah yes, the teleportation project. The talk of the century. Who knows what crazy ideas they're thinking of? Sooner or later, we'll be invaded by aliens from outer space like Half Life 2! I think they should focus more on the next big thing that all of us have been waiting for in 2015.
My dad nodded without looking up from his papers while my mom replied with a grin. I sat down on the chair while thinking what's for breakfast when my mom placed a bowl in front of me.
Looking down at my bowl, I sighed.
Oatmeal again? Couldn't we have pancakes or anything else BUT oatmeal?
“You took your own sweet time getting down here son.” My dad said without looking up. “ I almost thought that school was cancelled today.” He pointed at the clock.
“Dad what are you talking about?" I stared at him while fooling with the white goopy stuff in my bowl with the spoon, not planning to eat any of it. "I’m perfectly…” Then I turned and stared at the clock.
8:05am…ah shit
“I’M GOING TO BE LATE!” I rushed out of the kitchen to get my bag.
“You’re going to miss breakfast!” My mom cried from the kitchen.
“I can hold out until lunch! See ya!” I grabbed my phone from the coffee table and my slingbag hanging on the coat hanger, almost tripped over when putting on my shoes and socks.
This day is getting better already, I’m going to be late for school like every Monday. Hey, it’s not that I sleep late! (Ok, so I do sleep late, but what does that have to do with it?) I’m just a heavy sleeper! Either that, or someone just messed with my clock.
When I rushed out of the door, the bus was already long gone.
“Need me to drive?” My dad asked sarcastically from the porch, still holding his mug.
“Dad, I’m 16 already! Besides, you always drive slow so no thanks.”
“Suit yourself son, I just hope you run as fast as you eat.” He chuckled before going back into the house.
I groaned before rushing off.
"SHIT SHIT SHIT IM LATE!"
I have no idea how fast I ran, there's a pain in my stomach that keeps appearing and disappearing, and I'm pretty sure that I jumped over a few garbage bins and a tricycle that someone left outside on the pavement.
"Sorry!" I called when I jumped over a little boy holding a ball in his hand.
I looked at my digital watch, the time on it wasn't helping much in this situation.
8:08am! Shit! Better pick up the pace! I don't want to get detention!
I was literally flying now, jumping over fences and some tricycles(what's the deal with leaving tricycles on the pavement?) usually without much success. The pain in my stomach was gone and that helped abit, enough to keep me moving but not enough to make me forget about the fact that I am going to be late of school if I don't move it. I've never ran this fast since I was chased by the neighbour's rottweiler a few years ago, I could've sworn that I might have just set a new land speed record, but I'm not going much into details of what had happened then.
A few people were giving me looks when I ran past them. I wasn't sure why, haven't they seen someone running late before? Maybe it was the moon cutie mark on my phone casing, whatever the reason, they just gave me weird stares.
I stopped at the T section at the end of the road panting and trying to catch my breath. I looked at my watch again and saw that it was 8:10am now. I don't know if I can make it on time with just 5 minutes.
Unless...
Raising my head and looking in front of me is a forest. Sure it looks creepy with the dead leaves and tall trees, but it was the only shortcut I know of that of that allows me to get to school within 5 minutes. What do I have to lose?
My stomach?
Taking a deep breath, I rushed into the forest without a second thought and continued running.
You know, this place ain't half bad actually, it's not as creepy as it looks from the outside. I just hope that no animals will jump out and scare me
Well speak of the devil, the moment I thought of that, something blue jumped out from the bushes and collided into me head-on on the head.
"Fuck. My. Life." I garbled before darkness overtook me.
I have no idea how long I was out for, but when I did wake up from my 'slumber', I found myself looking head on at a pair of big and beautiful cyan eyes, those that seems to shine when you take a closer look in them. I could have stared at them for eternity when I looked down from it's face to it's features, something struck me in the head.
"AHHHHH!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!" I couldn't believe my very eyes. There I was, lying on the ground scattered with dead leaves and in front of me, sitting on her hind legs, looking at me with a curious stare, was the Princess of the Night herself.
"L-L-L-L-Luna??????"
"Princess Luna" She corrected. "I see that you are familiar of one of the Royal Sisters."
"Oh my god, this is impossible, how are you real? It's not possible!"
"I'm as real as you are strange creature."
"I knew I shouldn't have skipped breakfast."
"Breakfast sounds delightful." She said
"Ok, now I'm hallucinating." I rubbed my temples while taking deep breathes."So here I am, in the middle of the forest, bumping into Princess Luna and now she's talking to me."
"I am talking to you!"
"No please, stop talking. This must be one of those hidden camera trick isn't it? I know where your cameras are!" I shouted looking around my vicinity to search for hidden cameras.
No signs of a camera or projection device or sort, either whoever had hidden them carefully or the blue pony I'm speaking to is actually real.
"Jeez, I must have done something in my past life that makes me so close to the color blue."
"I can see that you're wearing blue."
Thanks for stating the obvious, Princess Obvious.
“H-h-how did you get here anyway?" I asked.
"Truthfully, I myself do not possess a clue to my current predicament."
Well, did you accidentally say something wrong during a teleportation spell?
"We'll it's nice to see you Princess, but I got to go now...heh...heh...heh" I laughed nervously while walking away.
"HOLD YOUNG ONE!" She let loose the Royal Canterlot Voice on yours truly. "BUT WE REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE IN BRINGING US HOME!"
"This is my home, and is there more of you? Because you said..." Then I facepalmed myself. How could I forget the fact that the Royal Canterlot Voice still uses the outdated speech?
"I can assure you that there is only one of the Royal Sister here youngling." She spoke again, this time at a much lower volume wih a look of desperation on her face. " But I wish to return to my subjects in Equestria as soon as possible."
"Look, as much as I want to help you, I can't right now because I'm going to be late for..." I looked down at my wrist, time shown? 8:14am.
No doubt about it, I'm late
*sigh* "Thanks to you, I'm going to be late for school and that means detention which means my precious time are being wasted getting stuck in a room for the next 2 hours. Thank you so much." I groaned, putting my five fingers to my forehead.
"I am happy to be of any help." She replied, not detecting the sarcasm in my voice.
"Wait what? Ugg... Nevermind, I'm going to..."
Zing!
"school..."
I found myself in the middle of the school corridor alone. Most students would have been in their respective classroom by now, and luckily, no one noticed me appearing out of nowhere. When I entered the classroom, luckily, the teacher wasn't there yet so I'm still technically not-late for school.
How the heck does she knows where I'm going?
"Hey buddy, you're almost late!" My best friend, Gary, whispered from his table when I sat at my desk.
"Ughh... tell me about it." I replied.
Greetings young one, if you would be so kind to tell me where I am, I would appreciate it.
What, who said that? I turned around, making sure that Princess Luna didn't somehow followed me. Oddly, she's isn't in the classroom so how could I hear her voice?
"Dude, nice cap." A boy called out from behind me.
A cap? I don't remembering wearing one... I touched my head with my finger and sure enough, I am wearing a cap. Taking it off for a better look, it was ironically navy blue with Luna's cutie mark on the middle like a logo.
"You can turn into a cap?"
Yes I can, however until a more acceptable time would I return to my original form.
"Of all things, why a cap? And why blue?"
It matches your outfit youngling, and this form allows me to blend with your people and environment.
"Alright, you can stay like this until I get home, I'll think of something once we get back."
I found myself being stared at by most if not all of my classmates, giving me weird looks as I put the cap back on.
"What?" Then they returned to whatever they're doing.
During homeroom, when the teacher was taking attendance, once again, Luna bombarded my poor mind with even more questions.
Who is this big creature standing in the middle of this room? And why is he shouting?
*sigh* "He's Mr. Laurence, and he's the maths teacher here. He's taking attendance of the students to see who's here and who's not." I spoke as softly as I can.
Maths? As in calculations... like abacus?
I have no idea what's an abacus, but I think it's a sort of calculation instrument like a calculator. "Something like that yeah,
but more challenging and complicated."
I do not understand how calculations and counting could be considered complicated
"You'll see, soon."
You have yet to reveal your name child; may I have the pleasure of knowing your identity?
"I rather keep my identity anonymous to you..."
"Dixon?" The teacher called out my name.
"Here!" I raised my hand before realizing what I've just did, I could facepalm myself now...
"So much for anonymity." I could've sworn I've heard a giggle in the back of my head when I said that.
What did I do to deserve this?
After 7 hours of homework and learning...
RING!!!
Finally, the end of school for the day, now I can go back home and take a nap while trying to forget what has happened today. Grabbing my bag, I walked out of the classroom to see Gary standing there waiting for me.
"Hey bud, wanna go grab a bite?"
"Nah, I'm good. I need to sort some thing out, see ya!"
"Oooooookay?" He gave a weird reply when I exited the school building.
Outside the school compound, Luna the Cap talked again.
So, Dixon, I persume? Would you be as so kind to tell me where I am and what you and the others are?
"If you insist, fine... be prepared for a long lecture"
It was weird talking to a pony princess who's posing as a cap, I got some weird looks from people as they past by a boy who's talking to noone apparently. But nonetheless, the walk back home goes uneventful except for a few occasions when Luna shouted into my ear on what was that shiny metal cocoon (car) and the giant metal bird (plane). After sometime, the neighbourhood changed to a more familiar scene...
"Well, here we are, welcome to my humble abode." I stopped at the front door of my home.
You are too kind Dixon;until we figure out on my predicament, I shall be your guest
"Hi mom." I greeted as I stepped into the familiar house that I grew up in.
"I got your lunch ready sweetheart! It's on the table!" My mom called from upstairs.
"That's my mother ..." I whispered as I entered the living room, "My father wouldn't be home until the evening so I guess you can transform back into your original form until my dad comes home. Or until my mom checks on me."
If I could ask, precisely what do you mean by until your father returns home?
"He has this weird gift for sniffing out stuff , if he were to return right now, he could smell you right away."
Pardon my rudeness, but as the princess, I took special care of making myself presentable for the Royal Court using the best shampoos and soap Equestria has to offer me
"Well that's another problem; he could smell what type of soap someone or something has been using."
"Dix! Who are you talking to?" My mom asked.
"Just a friend on the phone!" I lied.
What is this 'phone' you speak of? Your world is very different from mine
"Look, I can teach you as much as I know about humanity and others, but you need to change your form or else my mom will think that I'm crazy for talking to a cap!"
Which form do you speak of?
"I don't know, maybe a cat? Wait!" A light bulb lit up in my head. "A cat! Our cat Tom has gone missing for the last few days, my parents wouldn't suspect a thing if he were to return!"
A cat? Well, with my magic I could most certainly try.
In an instance (and a flash of light), the once blue cap on my head has transformed into a grey Siamese cat that my family come to know and love as 'Tom', expect that it(she) has blue eyes instead of the black plain eyes.
So, how do I look?
This could be the longest day of my life
Chapter 3: A Cold Day (WARNING OUTDATED)
Chapter 2: The Three Stooges
The first thing my father noticed (or smelled) when he got back home that evening, is the scent of a cat. As soon as Luna (In her Tom guise) appeared from my bedroom, my dad ran over and picked him(her)up like a baby, asking where have he(she) been to. I had to bit my lips to prevent myself from bursting out laughing when Luna gave me the eye that says "Help me!" in them. It was one of the funniest thing I've ever saw. Anyway, other than that one part, the rest of the night went smoothly without any incident.
Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt
Click!
"Ughh... Morning already?" I groaned as I turned around in bed.
"Wake up son," My dad called from the door. "Or else you'll repeat Monday again."
"Ugg... five more minutes," I yawned.
"And how are you doing my little furball?"
Furball??
I opened my eyes immediately and sat up straight. My dad was holding Tom(Luna) who was still asleep soundly, sweat started to form on my brows.
"Hmm? Pwoeh! What happened to my little furball?" My dad exclaimed as he held Tom(Luna) away from his nose. "I could have sworn that you smelled like violet and lavender yesterday! Well, I guess someone needs to take a bath."
"NO WAIT!" I yelled.
"Whoa son! What makes you work up so suddenly?" My dad asked in surprise.
"You know how Tom is when he's woken up in the morning right dad? Besides, he hates bathtimes." I said anything that came to my mind, I just need to prevent him from doing anything.
"I suppose you're right son," My dad replied. "But he does smells like your old gym socks!"
My old gym socks, that's how I know how Luna really smells. How the heck does she smells like violet and lavender in one day and smells like my socks the next day? I suppose it might have something to do with the fact that she spent the last 10 hours as a household cat but whatever.
"I'll give him a bath dad, just go and take your coffee. I'm sure you don't like your coffee getting cold." I do hope I don't really have to give her a bath, I just hope she knows a few cleaning and grooming spells.
"MY COFFEE!" My dad exclaimed as he rushed out of the room and down the stairs. I laughed, coffee has been his one and only weakness, once he spent about $700 once for just a kilogram of coffee beans that has been taken out from civet cat poop! Yuck! He even says that the taste is exquisite!
Luckily, despite the commotion, Luna is still sleeping peacefully on the foot of my bed. I lift off the duvet as gently as I could and tip toed to the bathroom. Once I'm done with the morning rituals, I have to tip toe to the closet and get out my outfit of the day.
A white T-shirt, blue jeans and an old leather jacket which I recieved from my dad. Luckily, the only dress code my school have is no unusual clothing articles, so a leather jacket is nothing unusual. And I hate to brag but DAMN I look good!
"Morning mom, morning dad." I yawned from the stairs.
My dad is at the table already, a coffee mug in his right hand and today's paper in the other. He gave me a nod before taking another sip of his coffee. Today's headline isn't exactly big new, it is actually some celebrity got engaged with whoever that is, not really the juicy news I expected for today.
Sitting down at the table, I prayed hard that today's breakfast isn't oatmeal again. That goopy stuff is the bane of my existence, that piece of shit not only taste bad, but it's also difficult to swallow. Once I had a stomachache because I mixed too much water to my oatmeal so I could swallow it down without that yucky aftertaste. How the heck does oatmeal taste so great as bread when it taste like shit as breakfast?
Please don't be oatmeal, don't be oatmeal, don't be oatmeal To really get my message conveyed to whoever is in charge of my life,(God, destiny, my hands(Does that even makes any sense?)) I crossed all my finger and prehaps even my toes too.
It wasn't until my mom told me to look what's in front of my plate did I open my eyes. On a place in front of me, were 4 golden brown waffles doused in maple syrup and chocolate sauce. As an extra treat, 2 fresh strawberries were placed on the sides. It ain't no bacon, but the sight itself was enough to make my mouth water. Taking my utensils, I was about to dig in when I remembered something.
What am I suppose to get Luna for her breakfast?
The obvious answer is what's on my plate. In fact, it seems to be the most obvious answer due to how many fanfiction I've read had wrote that waffles were her favourite. But she's actually here for real! Is fiction going to turn into fact?
"You okay Dix?" My dad asked. "You're spacing out."
"Huh?" I snapped out of my thoughts and immediately said. "I'm okay."
Staring down at the plate in front of me, I guess I don't have much choice. Taking the plate from the table, I was about to go upstairs to my room when my mother asked.
"Dixon? Where are you going?"
"I'm just going to my room mom! I remembered I still have homework to do!"
"You better finish them while you eat, and don't make a mess alright?"
"Yes mother." I groaned.
Pushing the door open with my elbow, I could see Luna still sleeping peacefully on my bed. I walked towards her with the plate still in hand. Kneeling in front of her to get a better view, I brought the plate directly to her nose. Her nose started to twitch a little.
Hmm...
I cut a small piece of waffle with my knife and brought it under her nose with a fork.
"Oh Princessss... Breakfast is readyyyyy." Sounds cheesy and creepy I know, but I can't help myself.
No reaction from her except for more nose twitching.
Let's try that again.
I cut a larger piece of waffle and brought it under her nose.
"Fooooooood...Wafflesssssss"
The moment I said the W-word, Luna's eyes shot open. She looked at me for a second before noticing the waffles on my plate.
"WAFFLES!" She exclaimed before I put a finger to her mouth while telling her to keep her voice down.
"Sorry!" She whisphered. With a flash(And thankfully no sound), the grey feline has turned into a blue alicorn lying on my bed. Without warning, she took the plate off my hands and munched down all 4 waffles in 10(11.3 seconds actually, but who's counting that?) seconds flat. I looked at her and found that she has maple syrup and chocolate sauce all over her nuzzle! Taking a tissue from my desk, I handed her the tissue in which she took and wiped her mouth.
"I thank you for the delicious waffles Dixon. But if I may ask, how did you know that my favourite food are waffles?"
"Umm...Just a hunch?" I smiled nervously, then I heard my stomach rumbling.
"Is there a problem?"
"OH no no no no no! There's no problem at all!" Great, I gave up my breakfast and maybe even my wellbeing just to make sure Luna doesn't starve to death. I knew I should have eaten that small part that I cut before giving it to her! Well... At least the strawberries are still there...
Looking at the clock, the bus is going to arrive any minute now. I took my bag and was about to exit the room when Luna asked.
"Excuse me, but where are you going?"
"I'm going to school...to learn more stuff..."
"In that case..."
With another flash of light, the once blue alicorn on my bed has turned into a blue cap.
I am intrigued about your kind and I wish to know more... maybe this 'stuff' you're speaking off might help.
"If you insist." I took the cap from my bed and placed it on my head.(Hey that rhymed)
Shall we get going?
"Yes yes..." I groaned.
RING!!!
"FINALLY!" I yelled as I exited the classroom after what seems likes forever. Luna has been flooding my mind with questions and I'm afraid that I might go crazy if she asked me another. I can't wait to go home and... do something, whatever that is. I just want to get out of here.
"You did a fine job humiliating me in front of the class." I murmured under my breath to Luna.
Did I do something wrong?
"Oh no no no! Nothing's wrong!"
When I exited the school building, staring at the parking lot in front of me. For some reason, no one seems to be around even though it is already dismissal time. I walked towards the exit when I saw the reason why the parking lot seems so deserted.
Them
At this point of time, I was very *insert noun here* deprived on what just happened. So what I said may or may not actually happened.
So here I am, in the middle of the basketball court, no wait it's the parking lot. I saw 3 of the biggest assholes in the school. Jack "Asshole" Thompson, Richard "Dickhead" Head and their leader, Isaac "Cunt" Hunt. Each of them held the school record if not, world record, for most numbers of hours spent in detention. Why aren't they expelled yet I will never know, some people say that Isaac's father is a close friend of the Principal so that might explain it.
Anyway, since today's Tuesday, they'll wait for the first unlucky fellow to enter the parking lot and will proceed to beat him senseless(for no reason/ just for lulz) unless: 1) Said fellow gives them something to stop. 2) Those three assholes got tired of it. 3) The cops arrive. And I just happens to be that unlucky fellow.
The three stooges noticed me in the parking lot and proceed to walk towards me. So I'm literally screwed, Luna asked me who are those people, all I can reply is:
"My worst nightmare."
They stopped just 3 metres in front of me, Isaac was the first to spoke up.
"So here's the lucky fellow of the day! Since I'm in a nice mood today, I might let you go if you give us what you have in your wallet."
I don't really have much choice, either get beat up or lose the rest of my weekly allowance. The second option seems better, so digging into my wallet, all I have was a twenty and a ten. Isaac noticed what I had and spoke up again.
"Too bad then, minimum fare is a fifty." He spied iPhone in my pocket. "Say, you know what? I like that iPhone, give me that and I'll let you go."
"Are you sure you don't want this cool leather jacket?"
"COOL?" All of them laughed. "That thing is a piece of garbage!"
"You're not taking this phone away." I can feel my heart in my throat. This phone was a gift from my dad a year ago, also, it contains 'stuff' I don't want to let others to know about.(Now I know what all of us are thinking of, but I'm not gonna say it... ... ... *stares at readers* R34 of Luna, alright?)
"Oh! So you want to do it the hard way eh?" Jack came up cracking his knuckles.
"I think I going to choose the third way. AND THAT'S RUN LIKE HELL!"
I took off like the wind while leaving the three in the dust. Immediately, they took off and were hot on my heels. It is difficult to try and outrun 3 teenagers who were larger and taller than you are, and a 10 second head start isn't making much of a difference.
So that leaves me where I am now, running my ass away from the three stooges while trying to prevent Luna from falling of my head. Everytime I think that I've lost them, the scream of Isaac makes me pick up my pace again. He has been screaming so much for the last few minutes, his screams are forever buried in my mind. In fact, I can make a list of what he was saying. For example:
"I'M GONNA CUT YOUR BALLS OFF AND BOIL THEM!"
"GET BACK HERE MOTHAFUCKA! I'M GONNA CUT YOUR HEAD OFF!"
"DIX I'M HERE! I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP!"
"THIS DOESN'T HAVE TO BE HARD MOTHAFUCKA!"
"I'M GONNA CUT YOUR HEAD OFF AND WEAR YOUR FACE!"
Jeez, can this guy get any crazier? He's downright insane! You know, his screams makes me remember a video I saw on YouTube once, but I can't lay my finger on which video it is. I kept running all the way, even thought my legs were hurting like hell. It wasn't until I reached home did I stop.
Immediately, I closed all windows and shutter and hid in my room. Now I've pissed off the worst person in history and he's gonna murder me for all these. Great, fucking great.
Well one things for sure, at least I got home safely with my balls intact.
Chapter 4: Pushing Some Buttons
Chapter 3: Snow Day
What a week! Just a day since I met Princess Luna and I find myself knee deep in this huge amount of shit I'm in. It can't get any worse right? Right? (Actually, I don't know.)
Wednesday
Wednesday is my second favourite day of the week, the reason is that it's the middle of the week and everything will go downhill from that point on.(In a good way). I used to think that it was weird, but when you think about it more often, it is not really weird at all.
Well today got off to a great start. I woke up half an hour earlier not because I feel like it. But because it was so FUCKING COLD! Shiver me timbers! Luna was partially to be blamed for this, she just took all the cover and buried herself under a huge mass of cloth and leaving me pratically naked(not literally of course) in the open!
When I finally took the courage to get out of bed, I could see the reason now. It was snowing! When you add thin clothings and snow weather, it'll give you a temperature colder than the deepest pits of the ice age!
"BRR!" I shivered as I walked into the bathroom and proceed with my morning rituals. Once I'm done, I got into my room and search for a nice thick jacket. I did find one eventually, but even when I put it on, I was still shivering. So I decided to take the most logical action for the cold weather.
Get back in bed and try to sleep off the rest of the 23 minutes I have left before the alarm clock sounded off.
Bzzt...Bzzt...Bzzt
Click!
Nope, not a wink. I can't sleep even in the jacket and duvet since a particular pony keeps hogging all the duvet to herself. Sighing, I got off the bed again and changed into something warmer than just T-shirt and shorts.
Luckily, my mom knows what to prepare for a cold weather like this, a nice hot cup of hot chocolate and 2 piece of toast spreaded with one of mankind's greatest invention greeted my eyes as I walked into the kitchen. It goes by many names but we all mostly know it as Nutella.
Well, if there's one good thing that comes out of snow, that is school will be cancelled for the day.
"YAHOO! SNOW!"
"Calm down Dixon, It's not snowing hard enough for school to be cancelled!"
Darn! I can feel my smile fading away instantaneously.
"Don't look so gloomy! It might snow harder later for school to be cancelled."
Maybe we can get an earlier dismissal today. I thought to myself as I savoured the last bite of the toast with the form of Jesus on it.(I wouldn't say God because his chocolate form is not Nutella)
Pushing the door open quietly, I placed a warm glass of milk and a slice of Nutella toast on the desk next to my bed.
Hmm... How should I wake her up today... The funny way or the normal way?
Looking at the mountain before me, I smirked as I figured out how to wake her up. Grabbing hold on one end of the duvet, I pulled with all my strength and out plopped a blue alicorn on the floor with her rear high up in the air, as if she was doing yoga and failed.
The impact from landing on the wooden floor shook up the princess and she glared daggers at me. I tried my best not to laugh. Obviously, I failed as I had abosolutly no control over my laugh factor.
"AHHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"IT'S NOT FUNNY HUMAN!" She shouted.
"I'M SO SORRY! YOU LOOK ABSOLUTLY HILARIOUS!" I wiped a tear from my eye as I started to go out of breath from laughing. Princess Luna got back up on her hooves and sat on the bed, looking at me disapprovingly.
"And also, I got your breakfast here." I said as I passed her the toast. "And here's some milk too."
Princess Luna looked at the toast and looked at it with great interest.
"Is there a problem Princess?"
"What is this? I have never seen this before."
"What? Don't you have toast in Equestria?"
"Oh no! What I meant is the substance upon the toast!" She said pointing to the Nutella spread on the toast.
"Oh that! Don't worry Princess."I laughed. " That is just a...flavouring for the toast we use on Earth, it's similar to jam except it's not made from fruits. And I believe that you'll find the taste...some what...interesting."
Luna raised an eyebrow and looked at me before looking back at the toast in front of her eyes before bringing it close to her mouth.
She opens her mouth...bringing the toast closer... and closed her mouth... and chew...
Immediately, Luna's eyes widen to the size of dining plates. A wave of emotion swept over her face, shock, joy, happiness, doubt, disbelief and etc etc blah blah blah.
Before I stop you right there, what was your reaction when you tasted Nutella for the first time? To me, it was as if a unicorn jumped over a double rainbow while listening to all my favourite musicians collaborate on a song just for me while I unalive Justin Bieber from the face of the Earth.
How about Luna's reaction to her first taste of Nutella? She.......*shudders*, watch this video . Double that, no TRIPLE that and you don't even get as close to Luna's reaction to Nutella.
I had to slap her, twice, just to get her back into reality.
SLAP! SLAP!
"Get a hold of yourself Princess!" I shook her shoulders, snapping her out of the "Nutella-effect".
"Huh? Oh! I'm so sorry! I..."
"DIXON! THE BUS IS HERE!" My mom shouted.
"Hold your apology till later. We have to go now."
...
And that's how I learnt not to give a goddess Nutella.
And now, I'll be stuck here for the next 7 hours or so. In this place called school.
First Period: History
Hooray! Let's spend an hour of our life reading on somebody who's worm food for the last 50 years! Seriously, name a job that requires you to know history, because I can't. I'm bored out of my mind, sometime Luna had to wake me up because I almost fell asleep right then. Luna on the other hand wasn't bored at all, oh no. She was listening attentively to each and everyword the teacher was saying. AND I DO MEAN EACH AND EVERY WORD.
Today's lesson is on the Industrial Revolution, a period in time where we started using machines in factories. The History teacher keeps rambling on and on and on. I wasn't learning anything! In fact! I could learn the exact same thing from Horrible History books and World History Crash Course on YouTube! Just like Homer Simpson once said," They pratcally raised themselves up with the Internet."
Anyway, Luna was amazed by how humans uses the machine to their use. And with every lesson comes questions, and who did she pick to ask? Little o' me, how lucky.
What do humans use to power those ma-shines? Where do they get their energy from? And how... And it goes on and on and on.
Please let this be over soon.
Second Period: English
English Literature wasn't so much better either, we have to read ' The Great Gatsby' by F. Scott Fitzgerald. It's the story of a rich guy named Gatsby and his quixotic(creepy) passion for some girl named Daisy. It is considered a literary classic and now all of us have to read it, damn you F. Scott Fitzgerald.
To be honest, it is a great book, with it's exploration of themes such as decadence, idealism, resistance to change, social upheaval, and excess. But seriously, there's a film based on this book that has been out for sometime now, and when 'picture speaks a thousand words', I think most of the students will watch the movie instead of reading the book.
Human work of literature, for some reason, intrigued the curiousity of Princess Luna. Ha, I don't think they have something like this back in Equestria. Do they have their version of William Shakespeare? I wonder what his name would be in Equestria. (Not to be confused with Shakespearicles, the strongest writer who ever lived)
Third Period: Math
This is the first lesson in which Luna couldn't keep up with. Trigonometry, does anyone even use that? I know its used in astronomy and by mathematicans but seriously. How many of us are going to be astronauts or astronomers later in our life?
Those numbers...my brain...it hurts...
"My brain is going to hurt more if you don't shut up!" I whisphered. I need the concentration in doing the question Mr. Laurence gave us to do.
All I can think of is tangent 90... which is the same as divide by zero. Come on! Do we even need to know this? I don't like to brag but I'm sure that I can learn more by reading 'The Fiendish Angletron' in just ten minutes compared to listening to Mr. Laurence for an hour
Forth Period: Lunch(Is lunch considered a period?)
I don't trust the cafeteria food here, all of them are nothing else than overprocessed, bland food if you can even call them food that is. That's why I always bring my lunch from home.
But I can't go into the cafeteria, unless I want Luna to be discovered by almost everybody in the school. So I have to sneak out behind the gym block so Luna and I can eat in peace without being spotted.
"You know that you're not suppose to be here, if everyone were to see you, then the world would flip on it's axis and shit happens. So please don't say a word."
Luna nodded as I brought out my paper bag, in it were a PB&J sandwich, an apple and a mint. Splitting the sandwich in two, I gave half of the sandwich to Luna while keeping the rest for myself. I am not going to repeat the same mistake of giving her all my food.
"So, any ideas on how to get back to Equestria?" I asked.
"Hmm...I don't suppose you have an idea?" She winked.
"H-h-hey! What makes me the idea guy all of sudden?" I retorted back.
"Oh nothing." She turned back to her sandwich and continue to eat.
Suddenly, there was a ear shattering scream that nearly destroyed my eardrums. The both of us turned towards
the direction of the scream to see a redheaded boy pointing his finger at...the both of us? Or maybe it's just Luna, or was it me? He was shaking his knees while trying to say my name.
"D-D-D-D-Di-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i......" Then he ran away screaming for his life.
The both of us looked at each other for a while before I muttered.
"We're fucked."
In the middle of the 5th period
"Excuse me class! But the question I gave you to do are on the board, not outside the window!" The teacher snapped.
The whole class can't help it, it's really coming down out there and the possibility of an early dismissal are getting
larger and larger. Everyone is looking outside the window now, even Luna is looking out the window.(Actually, since she's stuck on my head, what I see will be the same as what she sees)
"Please excuse this interruption!"
Aha! The principal is on the PA! This could be it!
"Due to the severe weather conditions, school will be dismissed at the end of this period."
YAHOO! SNOW!
RING!!!
YES! The end of the period! Time to go home now! I grabbed by bag and got out into the school corridor just to see everyone, literally everyone, staring at me and saying stuff, about me I suppose.
Why are we being stared at?
I gave no reply to Luna, with so many people looking at us, replying to her might blow her cover and shit might happen.
Giving no heed to the eyes, I walked on only to see the SAME redheaded boy talking to his friends. In case you did not notice, this redhead is the school's most popular boy who's a grades above me. The moment he saw me, he pointed me out and shouted.
"YOU! H-H-HE'S GOT A HORSE IN THE SCHOOL! I KNOW BECAUSE i SAW IT!"
"Luna, please don't judge me on what I'm about to do next." I whisphered
What exactly are you doing to do to him Dixon?
"I'm going to turn on my crazy switch and use my stoopid face."
Umm... okay?
This is a very old habit of mine, whenever someone is spreading rumors about me. I will debunked the rumor with my crazy speech which I learnt from the Internet. 95% of the time it solves the problem, but that came at a price too. Almost everyone in the school thinks that I'm stupid. Oh well, I'm not planing to show my genius to them anyway.
"So!" I pranced over to him. "So I have a horse with me? Amirite?" I said in my most stupidest tone I have.
"YES! AND DON'T YOU DENY IT!"
"Oh!!!! And do you see this horse with me?" I rubbed my hands together.
"N-N-NO! BUT YOU MUST HAVE HIDDEN IT!'
"And would you tell me about this...horse?"
"IT'S BLUE! THAT'S ALL I SAW!"
"A blue horse?!" I laughed. "Where would there exist a blue horse?"
"Y-Y-YOU HAVE IT!"
"And next I suppose you'll say that it have wings like a pegasus!"
I'm an alicorn!
"Y-Y-YES! I SAW IT'S WINGS! YOU WERE GIVING IT A SANDWICH!"
I crossed both my arms together and looked at him, now I got him. "Really? Wings? Of all the lies you tell, this is the most ridiculous claim I've ever heard in my life."
"B-B-BUT!"
"No 'buts', if you think that these people,"
*I pointed to the crowd that formed behind us*
" are going to believe that you saw a fucking pegasus, you're wrong. Get your eyes checked boy, I wasn't with a horse. And you think I'm that stupid to bring a huge ass horse to high school? Grow up, please." I turned towards the exit and proceeded out, leaving him standing there with a dumbfounded look on his face.
...
Outside the school compound, Luna said.
Wow, I didn't know that you would be like that!
"All to protect the Princess from being discovered your majesty."
I should thank you for that.
"Really now? Earlier, you were going to apologise to me and now you're thanking me? Don't mention it." I replied with an amused look on my face. "But yeah, if it wasn't for my acting, you would have been discovered and then shit happens."
Could you please stop using that word? It's very uncouth of you
"Sorry Princess, but old habits die hard." I laughed.
"Well we should get going now."
Yes, let's
Well at least today went alot better than Monday and Tuesday, can't wait to see what Thurday would bring.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 6: The Two...Stooges?
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 7: Welcome To The Internet
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 9: It's a Secret to Everyone
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter 10: Saturday Surprise
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. 