SPQR

Chapter 10

Carousel Boutique, Ponyville

        Gaius accompanied a very irate Lyra as they stood in front of Rarity’s home and workshop. After knocking on the door, he noticed just how many strange noises were coming from the boutique. There was the usual clattering of hooves but also a strange clattering noise, as if someone was tapping a pebble against a wall. A few moments later Rarity swung open the door and gave Lyra a quick peck on the cheek.

        “So nice to see you again Lyra, please come in. I’ve been expecting you. Oh…and you brought Mr. Septimus with you as well. I’ll be sure to make an extra cup of tea.”

        Both Lyra and Gaius took a seat on a large maroon colored couch that looked like it belonged on a noble’s estate. The Roman couldn’t help but note how ridiculous the entire room looked. All of the garish colors and fabrics made it look the one of the emperor’s summer villas after a wild party. If this was how Rarity decorated her home, then did he really want her making clothes for him? Even if he wasn’t wild about her sense of home décor, the point still remained that if he wanted clothes, she was the only seamstress in the entire town.

        Rarity trotted out a few moments later, levitating a silver tray with three porcelain cups and a varied assortment of cookies. Gaius looked at his cup in confusion, not really sure what exactly “tea” was. The steaming amber liquid smelled pleasant enough, almost like flowers. Perhaps it was some kind of mead he wasn’t aware of. Lyra had already started drinking out of her cup but Rarity paused and cocked her eyebrow.

        “Mr. Septimus, is there something wrong?”

        Gaius stared at the cup. “What exactly is this substance? Is it some kind of spiced mead?”

        “Wait…you mean to tell me that you’ve NEVER had tea before?!”

        “No, I haven’t. Is that a bad thing?”

        “I suppose not. However, I am a bit shocked that you’ve never heard of tea. What a dreary place your world must be. Luckily for you it’s never too late to start enjoying the nectar of the gods!”

        “I’m not sure what gods you worship Ms. Rarity, but this tea is no nectar of mine. Now if we’re talking about wine, then that’s different story.”

        Rarity grinned. “I completely agree. Life without wine is like seeing the world without color! There’s nothing like cuddling up on the couch with a trashy romance novel and sipping a glass of Château de Fleur.”

        Gaius had no idea what Rarity was talking about but he assumed it must have been some kind of fancy wine. It seemed that some things don’t change, even when you find yourself in a land run by little horses. People would fight. People would argue. But at the end of the day, they always enjoyed their spirits. With a half-hearted shrug he took a sip from his porcelain cup. It certainly was strong whatever it was, but it had a nice flowery aftertaste.

The oddest thing happened though. He felt a jolt of energy surge though his veins. Gaius took another sip and found that he felt even more alive. His mind felt sharper than ever, better than if he had gotten a full day’s rest. With a slightly manic grin he stared at Rarity, practically shaking in his seat. The alabaster unicorn looked even more confused than before, almost to the point of being frightened.

“By the gods…this tea is AMAZING! I’ve never felt so alive before! Pray tell, why does this strange phenomenon occur?”

Rarity giggled. “Oh that’s just the caffeine darling. It’s a type of natural stimulant found in the tea leaves. Coffee has a similar effect but it’s terribly bitter. My father loves to guzzle that horrible liquid like water. Honestly, I don’t see how he can stand it.”

Lyra rolled her eyes. “I don’t mean to interrupt but I’d really like to see my dress.”

“Oh right. Sorry Lyra, I got a bit carried away. Your dress is still in the workshop upstairs. If you’d be so kind as to follow me, I’ll show it to you. Oh and Mr. Septimus, you’re more than welcome to accompany us.”

“No thanks, I’m not really interested in dresses.”

Gaius continued to sip his tea, watching the two mares ascend the staircase. He hoped that they wouldn’t take too long because he wanted to be fitted for his own set of clothing as soon as possible. With nothing better to do, the Roman pondered exactly how to spend the rest of his day. The combination of living on a strictly regimented schedule and the chaos of the last few days meant that he hadn’t really given much thought towards his downtime.

 A part of him wanted to simply relax and enjoy this momentary peace while it lasted. But there was another part of him that screamed for action, it begged him to find some purpose. Back home he owned a modest villa and would sometimes tend to the gardens. It was nothing more than a mere hobby, a way to pass the time or relieve stress. Gaius let out a wry chuckle, imagining himself as one of the worst farmers in Equestria. He was meant to wield a blade, not a plowshare.

 His musings were tragically cut short when a certain purple alicorn materialized in the room. Gaius was no expert when it came to beautification, but even he noticed how frazzled the princess’s mane was compared to when he met her earlier. Her severely bloodshot eyes darted around the room until she spotted Gaius.

“Oh no this is bad! What am I going to do?”

“Excuse me your highness, but what seems to be the problem?”

Twilight blushed. “Mr. Septimus, I’m sorry…I was just thinking out loud.”

“Alright, but that still doesn’t answer my question.”

“I guess it’s not really YOUR problem so much as it is mine. But it does concern you. News of your little bout with that griffon mercenary has reached Princess Celestia’s ears. Don’t you realize what that means!?”

Gaius cocked his eyebrow. “Umm...I don’t quite follow.”

“Urrgghhhh! I really wanted to keep your presence here a secret, at least until we could set up a proper welcoming ceremony. AJ told a few of the staff members at the hospital what happened to Apple Bloom and by now practically all of Equestria knows what you did!”

“I fail to see why that’s…”

Twilight pressed her muzzle into his face. “IT’S A REALLY BIG DEAL! You are an alien species that we’ve never encountered before. That’s the kind of thing that ponies tend to freak out over. I was supposed to be able to handle this situation on my own but…it just got out of hoof before I could do anything. Princess Celestia’s going to be furious with me for keeping your presence a secret…”

Twilight’s ears perked up when she heard a knock at the door. The knock was loud enough to gain Rarity’s attention as she trotted down the stairs. She scrunched her muzzle in confusion as she saw Twilight cowering behind the couch where Gaius was sitting. The fashionista also noticed how frayed the alicorn’s mane was and knew that it was never a good omen.

She would have some choice words with Twilight later, oh yes. But for now she put on her best smile and answered the door. Outside stood Princess Celestia herself, flanked by two pegasus guards. Rarity, despite her familiarity with the princess, hastily dipped her head in respect.

“P-princess Celestia, what a pleasant surprise! Please do come in.”

Celestia trotted over to the couch and sat next to Gaius, as Rarity hurried into the kitchen to fetch another cup of tea. She smiled at the human and politely cleared her throat, noticing how dumbfounded he looked. A slightly frazzled Rarity reappeared a few moments later with a whole tray of cookies and a cup of tea.

“I’m terribly sorry if I startled you with my sudden arrival Rarity, but there are a few important matters I must discuss with Princess Twilight.”

“You’re always welcome to my boutique your highness! I don’t mean to be rude but Lyra is still waiting upstairs, so umm…ta ta for now.”

Celestia gave Twilight a stern look. “Twilight, I know that you want to take your new duties as princess seriously but there is no shame in coming to either Luna or I for assistance. This is especially important, considering that we’re dealing with an alien species.”

“Princess I thought I could…”

“It’s fine Twilight. I’ve already forgiven you. Let this serve as a lesson to you, should anything like this occur in the future. Now that that’s settled, I’d like to speak with the human.”

Gaius rubbed his neck. “Excuse me, but exactly how many rulers does this nation have?”

“Technically there are three if you count Twilight. My sister, Luna, controls the moon and is in charge of the night court. I control the sun and am in charge of the day court. As for Twilight…she was only recently coronated, so she has yet to assume any major responsibilities.”

“Hah! Such an arrangement would never work in Rome.”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow Mr…?”

“Call me Gaius, your majesty. What I’m saying is that my people are driven by an unquenchable lust for power. Some of them would find the idea of sharing a throne intolerable…offensive even! Rival houses would take up arms against each other until only one stands above the rest. Violence and conquest has always been our way and I doubt that’s ever going to change.”

Celestia nodded grimly. “Sadly, I know where you’re coming from Mr. Gaius. Our nation is peaceful now but it was not always that way. So many ponies forget just how much blood and turmoil Equestria was built on. But enough about the past, I’m here on behalf of our future. Should you be interested, I have a proposition that might suit your skillset.”

“Oh? And what exactly have you heard about my supposed skills?”

“I’m referring to your prowess in combat, Mr. Gaius. Admittedly, I have not seen your skills firsthoof but I have heard various accounts from several of my subjects. I am simply offering you a chance to use those skills. You will be compensated for your efforts, of course.”

“Hmm…well I am in need of coin. I’d also like to purchase my own home at some point as well. What exactly do you have in mind, your majesty?”

“You will serve as Twilight’s personal guard, following her wherever she goes and protecting her from harm."

“Ah so you intend to make a sell-sword of me?”

Celestia smiled. “You certainly don’t miss a beat do you? Yes, that is indeed the case. I could not possibly ask you to join the guard, for that would require an oath of loyalty. However, that does not mean that you are free to do whatever you want. Any major decisions you make must be approved by either my sister or I. Please give yourself some time to think this over for it is not a decision to be taken lightly.”

Gaius finally finished his tea and set the cup down on the floor. It was all strangely fitting in some cosmic sense. Not but an hour ago was he musing over his potential employment and now he was being offered a chance to use his skills as a soldier. Everything fit too well for it to be coincidence…but the gods worked in mysterious ways, even in this strange land.

He took a deep breath and looked over at Twilight, expecting her to give him some kind of signal. Instead, she only returned his stare with a look that was equal parts uncertainty and embarrassment. There wasn’t any uncertainty in his heart, not after he saved those little fillies from harm. He would continue to protect anyone who deserved it. Whether they had fur or not was irrelevant. Gaius stood up and formed his hand into a fist. He knelt in front of Celestia and pounded his fist against his shoulder.

“I offer you my blade.”

Celestia’s magic enveloped Gaius’s entire body, lifting him a few inches above the ground. A brilliant yellow burst of light flooded the room, causing Twilight to shield her eyes. Once the light started to dim, Gaius appeared once again but was now sporting an entirely new set of armor. Unlike his previous set it was segmented plate armor, not unlike the style the royal guards wore.

The armor itself was a dull silvery grey color. It included a helmet similar to the one he wore in battle but without any decorations. The whole set fit him like a glove and protected a lot more of his body than any Roman armor ever had. It left him wondering how the princess knew his exact measurements.

Celestia placed her hoof on his shoulder. “Consider this your down payment. You will receive a standardized amount of bits later, when your first task has been completed.”

“I truly am grateful but I must ask: Why is it that you trust me so much? We've only just met.”

“Because you’ve already proven that you’re willing put your life on the line to protect the lives my precious ponies. That, Gaius Septimus, goes a long way in earning my trust."

“Thank you, your highness.”

“You’re quite welcome. Before I send you off on your first assignment, there are a few things about your new armor I have to explain. The armor you wear is special; it is made from a very rare metal called orichalcum. This metal is not only several times stronger than steel, but is also resistant to magic.”

“I have but one request. Is it possible for you to place a crest upon this armor?"

"Yes, that shouldn't be too difficult. What type of crest do you desire?"

"An eagle. It is a very important symbol to my people."

With a quick flash of magic, Celestia emblazoned a flying eagle onto Gaius's breastplate. It reminded him more of a griffon, rather than the true imperial eagle but it would suffice. He nodded to Celestia in thanks.

“Your first assignment will be to accompany Princess Twilight to the Crystal Empire. Some of the archeologists up there have unearthed a series of ancient catacombs underneath the capital. I feel that Twilight is more than qualified to act as both a liaison and scholar for the excavation. I don’t expect too much trouble, but one can never be too careful.”

Twilight squealed in delight. “Oooh this going to be so exciting!”

Luxury Train Car, en route to the Crystal Empire

        Gaius sat in his seat, hands clenched tightly around the edges as he looked around the car nervously. Twilight sat next to him, brushing her wing against his arm in an attempt to calm him down. To call the human’s first experience riding train ride a disaster was like describing a tsunami as an oversized wave. In her excitement to visit the Crystal Empire, Twilight completely forgot that Gaius wasn’t used to some of Equestria’s technological advancements.

 They were already an hour into the journey and he was still nervous. Twilight had very nearly needed to knock him out with a spell just so he would get on the train. Back at the station in Ponyville he kept screaming and hollering that there was some smoking metal beast bent on devouring their flesh.

         “Gaius, I’m really sorry about earlier. I should have explained what a train was. Sometimes I get a bit overexcited with anything that has to do with history or science and I tend to forget the rest of the world exists. Are…you feeling a little better now?”

        “Somewhat, I suppose. I still don’t trust this smoking monstrosity. That whistle, as you called it, sounded like the unholy screams of a demon from Tartarus. But I appreciate your concern, milady.”

        Twilight blushed. “O-oh it’s no problem. But umm…you can just call me Twilight. I’m not really used to all of these fancy titles.”

        “I’m afraid I can’t do that. You are a princess and I am your guardian. It is below my station to refer to you in such a familiar fashion. At some point you will need to become accustomed to such titles, so consider this practice.”

        “I guess so. But…can you at least call me Twilight in private?”

        “If that is what you desire, I shall oblige. However, in public we must follow proper etiquette. The people of Equestria are your subjects and they need to respect your authority. Letting them or myself call you by your given name, undermines that authority. Half of holding power is retaining the image of power. Do you understand?”

        “Intellectually, I knew that all this royal etiquette stuff came with the crown but I guess it’s just taken this long for the reality of it to sink in. I’ve lived my whole life as a normal pony…well almost normal if you don’t count that fact that I’m an element bearer and Princess Celestia’s personal student. It’s going to take a while for me to feel comfortable with all of this.”

        Gaius grinned. “Not to worry Twilight, humility has its own merits. That type of attitude will make you popular with the common pony-folk. I’m confident that you’ll grow into your role, even if it takes some time.”

        “How do you know so much about all of this?”

        “It comes from living in the most powerful empire in the world. You tend to pick up a few things.”

        “Speaking of your world, we never did continue that conversation about slavery.”

        “We didn’t and we never will. But I have an interesting story that might spark your interest. Luckily for you, it has to do with ponies!”

        Twilight’s eyes twinkled. “Go on…”

        “First of all, they don’t talk like you do and they aren’t nearly so colorful. In fact, I owned a mare named Fausta. She had the most beautiful, silky brown coat. I could ride her for days and she wouldn’t even complain a bit. Of course, that’s because I bought a really nice Spanish saddle. By Neptune, I really do miss her…”

        Gaius noticed that Twilight had gone silent. He glanced at the alicorn, only to find that she was blushing furiously. With a gentle nudge to the shoulder he tried to get to respond, but was met with a hoof to face instead. Luckily her blow glanced off of his helmet and protected him from any serious injury. Once Gaius regained his composure, he stared at her in confusion.

        “Why in the seven hells did you do that for?”

        “You deserved it, that’s why! I can’t believe you used that poor mare as a…s-sex slave!”

        “What are you talking about? I never fucked her.”

        Twilight crossed her hooves. “How can say such a blatant lie? You just told me how pretty she was and how you ‘rode her for days’ and with a saddle no less!”

        “OH! You thought I meant…hahaha! No, I didn’t mean that I mounted her. Horses in my world are considered traveling companions; they help us get from place to place faster than on foot.”

        “Well, I guess I’m somewhat relieved to hear that. You have to understand that saddles are ehem…considered intimate wear in Equestria. So I assumed you were using Fausta as a sex slave. But I’m still not too happy that you use horses as a mode of transport.”

        “Look on the bright side your highness. Now that I’m guarding you, we’ll have plenty more opportunities to have these awkward cultural clashes!”

        Twilight merely face hoofed. This was going to be a long train ride.