Sgt. Sprinkles is the baddest creature in all of Equestria! He's so "Bad", that there was a SONG based purely on how bad this guy was! Just his name alone could send shivers down the spine of any spine known to ponykind! Truly, Sgt. Sprinkles was the definition of awesome. Without Sgt. Sprinkles, the word "badass" would've never even been invented. If that's not badass I don't know what is!

At least, I think I'm badass...

But enough about me, Sgt. Sprinkles, in the sometimes past tense! Let's turn the past into the present! Let's talk about not what I have done! Let's talk about what I'm gonna do today!

I'm going on an adventure!

WARNING: THIS STORY IS RATED "MATURE" for language and questionable (and possibly odd or slightly "disturbing"/eyebrow raising) content, but contains no clop. The content of this story includes the aforementioned language, mostly for comedic effect, and the somewhat brutal destruction of a cupcake and its sprinkles. Some may find the scene rather weird.