Saint of the Blade

Chapter 1

Halo and Meatball Subs

Ya know the rules your parents tell you, probably not. Well there is the one about talking to strangers, another one about taking gifts at face value, and to not playing in the middle of traffic. In 20 minutes I broke those three simple rules and got indebted to a Chaos God and launched into a world thought to be fiction.

You would think that I’m a super fool, and you'll be 13 percent right. The other 65 percent is that I’m an ass to most people I meet, except for women- I’ve been raised better, and 20 percent of chaos induced insanity. Man can I ramble. My name is Dale, for now at least. This saga all started when I rode down to the local GameStop in Kelso, Washington. Now I’m just a nineteen year old who behaves for his mother, I am 6 foot 5 inches tall with red hair and moles along my neck in the shape of a cane. I am an avid gamer and I irks me not to have a complete game series. My plan was to fill the holes in my Halo collection on this expedition. I owned Halo 3, ODST, Reach (honestly they fucked that one), and Halo 4. Now I’m not captain oblivious, but there were clear signs that I promptly ignored. Those signs were a promo for a cash prize giveaway, and a very curious looking employee with a toothy grin and a hat with the mane six on the bill and one hand had some sharp nails, just the one hand! Still I walked up to the counter and asked for the games I was missing. He said “Sure bro, want to try for the promo?”

Figuring Jabba the Hut had better chances at getting Megan Fox into bed, replied “Why not.” After a form that had ‘Do you like bananas? If so, where?’ as a required field that disappeared away as I finished. The symphony of our growling stomachs drew my attention.

I asked “hey want a sandwich?” to which he replied “yea, it’s my lunch break anyways.” He rings me up and I hand him $50.

He opens the cash register but then frowns “Sorry bro, no change.”

I face palmed “Alrighty then, tell ya what. I’ll go to the subway next door and break the 50, buy lunch and then pay you. Ya want a meatball sub?”

He grins “Yea, and a Pepsi.”

I leave and head next door. After getting lunch and paying for the game, the man's smile widened as I handed him a sub. We started talking about random things. Mostly about how Halo progressed, how Bungie fucked the sprint action in Reach and how Bungie saved the series. How Master Chief is basically a god. At some point I asked a series of obvious questions. Starting with what his name was.

His response was coupled with a trolling grin “My name, Dale, is Discord.”

I go captain oblivious and carry on my query. “Why did the promo form ask if I liked bananas?”

“Do you like mmmbananas?” He countered.

I finally catch on, “Depends if they’re on the moon or not.”

With a sinister yet gleeful smile he hands me a gold card, “Well answered brony!”

I white face at his words- you see, I’m what you could call a “closet” Brony. I’m open about My Little Pony to other Brony’s but clueless to non brony’s- and it finally hits me like a head slap from Gibbs. Discord+ Mane 6 hat= Yo ass be stupid.

At seeing my face, he asks the one question all bronys’ read in fics and want to be asked, “Want to go to Equestria?”

My mind kicks into overdrive and I start to negotiate. “Yes, but I have a few terms.”

“Of course, my dear boy.” He says.

“First of all, I want to be a gator-dragon mix; a Drakegator if you will, one with all the dragon attributes but has more of a gator look. Secondly, hammer space access. Third you help me when I ask for it, not when you feel like it. Finally I want internet access and video games.” His prolonged silence starts to wear on my patience and nerves. During his silence I noticed that my foot-long sandwich has lasted longer than it should have. (Ya so what if I’m still eating! I’s hungry).

He locks eyes with me, and with a straight face, tells me, “Deal.” I was too busy staring at him in disbelief to notice him winding back with THE Gravity Hammer at my face.

The last words I exclaimed before I blacked out where “DAAAUUUMM”.