Stop being so stuck-up AJ

The sun hung low in the west, casting yellow beams of light through the branches in the vast orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. An orange mare and her enthusiastic little sister was finishing the day’s work. To be honest, and the orange mare almost always was, the filly wasn’t as enthusiastic as she had been when they set out just after dawn the same day. The hard labour, dusty midday heat and lack of hot food had the younger pony’s ears drooping and the usual spring in her step was gone. Her own hooves were just as dirty and her belly was also rumbling for food but she was an Apple mare, and Apple mares were a hardy breed. Taking pity on her younger sister struggling - and failing - to bring one of the last bushels of apples to it’s place, she called out to her.

“Hey Applebloom, who don’t ya call it a day and lemme finish up around here.”

The younger mare looked like she was going to argue for a moment but in the end she just gave a weak nod. Seeing the downcast expression she took a breath.

“You did good in the field today, almost a grown mare’s work”, Applejack continued, “Ah’m proud of you little sis”. “Go home and take a long bath before dinner and have some fun”

With those words her ears perked up a little and a smile grew on the filly’s face.

“Thanks Applejack, you want me to have Big Mac come and help ya out?” Applebloom was almost already on her way back to the farm house.

“No need, Ah’m almost finished here”, she called after the rapidly disappearing filly, “Ah need to get me some woodwork done before dinner anyway”.

Applejack had just finished tying the tarp over the last few bushels of apples when she got a strange feeling someone was watching here. Trying to push the feeling away only served to scare her witless when she turned around to stand almost snout to snout with a certain Rainbow Dash grinning devilishly.

“Ohbycelestia!” she screamed as she jumped what felt like at least a few feet into the air. After realizing what had transpired the fear turned into anger as she felt her pride melt away. “Rainbow Dash, what’s the meaning of sneaking up on honest hard working ponies like that”. Her heart was still pounding in her chest.

“Oh relax, AJ, I saw you working when my cloud drifted by and I thought I would say hi.” She said with a grin and took a bite of the apple Applejack now realized she had in her cyan hoof.

Applejack was still flustered from the sudden encounter, and didn’t really know what to say to that. She decided she needed to do something with her hooves but couldn’t really decide what. The result was an ungracious and from an outside perspective very weird dance that went on fow a few seconds before Applejack regained control over her own body. The pegasus’ grin got wider and Applejack felt a blush rising on her cheeks. She didn’t really know why but she felt incredibly mad at the pegasus standing in front of her with that stupid grin on her face and eating - was that one of her apples by the way? - apples like there wasn’t a care in the world. She regained her composure enough to formulate a reply.

“You drifted past?” Applejack immediately realized how stupid the question was. Of course she drifted past, she just told you so. She is always drifting about, napping on that stupid cloud of hers. Preening a feather now and then. Not a care in the world. Meanwhile, I’m working my plot off down here.

“Yeah, and I…” the cyan mare didn’t have time to finish before Applejack cut her off.

“You laze around all day on your cloud, and then come down to scare hardworking ponies?”, she took a breath, “And is that mah apple you’re eating, you gonna pay me for that or are you too content mooching?” She could feel the anger building now.

“By Celestia AJ, no need to yell at me. I can come by with a bit later if it’s that important to you”

At least that infuriating grin was gone now. “Ah expect you do, now git!” The pegasus only stared at her. “Git! Ah have work to do”.

That seemed to do the trick.

As the cyan pegasus took to the air she yelled back. “You know what you need AJ? You need to stop being so damn stuck up”.

As the orange mare stood lost in thought, gazing at the sky and the rapidly vanishing pegasus, she suddenly felt a very uncomfortable lump form in her belly. She shook her head as if to clear it and bucked a poor unsuspecting tree so hard she almost tore it from the ground.

“Damn pegasi”

Applejack loved woodworking. It always seemed to clear her mind. And with Sweet Apple Acres being what it was there was never any shortage of stuff to make. It was usually just the odd fencepost that needed replacing or a window shutter that needed a little sanding before being repainted. This however, had been a much more challenging project. It was an apple, simple as that. Carved from a single piece of wood, it would be mounted over the door to their home. A loving testament to their family way of life as Applejack liked to think. She had spent several evenings in the barn cutting, shaping and sanding a big piece of apple wood into an apple shape. It was almost done, and after the fifth coat of oil she just applied had dried, she would add the little stem and wooden leave she had cut out separately.

Applejack stood and admired her handiwork. Almost perfectly resembling an apple in both shape and size, silken smooth, the wet coat of linseed oil giving in a lovely shine. The loving smile however, turned into a frown when she saw the sawdust and woodchips that littered her workplace. That needed to be cleaned up, dinner would be in half an hour, and her stomach was already rumbling in annoyance. Looking about for the broomstick they kept around here to clean the woodworking area she spied it on the top shelf of a nearby shelf. As she failed to reach it, despite standing on her hind legs, she silently cursed her tall brother and his inability to grasp the fact that most what he found “convenient” was in fact “impossible to reach” for most of his kind. Spying a tall rickety stool standing in a corner of the barn she grumblingly dragged it toward the shelf. As she balanced on top of the stool she just managed to reach the broom with her mouth. Applejack just had time to give a contented grunt of success before the inevitable happened the stool seemed to disappear from under her. The grunt turned into an undignified squeal and a flailing of hooves before she felt something come up and hit her in the head.

Applejack slowly sat up and gave a confused groan. Her body hurt in multiple places, her head and plot being the worst offenders. Tools lay scattered across the floor, and sawdust made company with the usual kind of dust in her coat. Slowly rising to her feet, and rubbing her head she looked around at the devastation. Beginning to gather up the tools and place them in their correct places the pain in her head went away, but the pain in her plot - or what she admitted with a blush - her puckered tailhole, wasn’t going away. Finally putting the last tool back in it’s place, she realized something was missing. Her apple was nowhere to be found. She began looking around the barn, figuring it could have rolled quite a long way, it being round and all. It wasn’t after scouring the entire floor she came to the only reasonable conclusion.

“Well dagnabbit, it must just have vanished into thin air” she said out loud to the barn around her.

The barn didn’t answer, and she realised it wasn’t the only reasonable conclusion after all. Not with the dull ache of her abused pucker and the now very unmistakable mass resting inside it.

“Well dagnabbit!” she said again.

Then she panicked.

After ten minutes of panickingly trying to claw at her backside and trying to push the offending piece of wood out she decided she had enough of that. It clearly wasn’t working, it’s only result being a sheen of sweat now matting her coat and giving her a even more disheveled look. The wooden apple, which so brazenly had entered her tailhole, weren’t coming out, no matter how much she pushed. It was simply too big, and her inners weren’t as strong as the whole of Applejack falling on the piece of wood.

Catching her breath, she decided to think rationally. Deciding it was best to get a feel about what she had to deal with she lay down on her back. Spreading her hind legs, and pulling her hooves down in between made her able to reach her tailhole. Bearing down made she could feel her pucker widening just enough for the piece of smooth wood to peek out. But, according to what she felt, it wasn’t nearly enough to get it out. She tried grasping it, but her hooves turned out to be poor tools for that job. Bending forward and holding her hooves between her legs turned out to be a surprisingly exhausting exercise. She could feel her sweat starting to form again so she took a break and just lay there on the floor thinking. Suddenly it hit her, lubrication! With enough oil she should be able to get the piece out, same as it went in. Finding and opening the bottle of linseed oil, she applied a generous amount to her hooves, before assuming position on her back again. However, getting the oil inside her plot was a easier said than done. A lot of it dripped on her coat, between her legs, and - Applejack realized with a blush - her marehood and teats. Pushing the thought aside she began to push the damn apple out and rubbing a generous amount of lubricant on every time. As she worked it in and out and rubbing with her hooves she thought she could feel it come a little farther out every time. Spurred by this, she slathered on more oil and pushed even harder. She could feel her poor abused pucker strain to it limits. It hurt, a lot actually, but she was an Apple mare and she would get through this. Rubbing more lubricant on her nethers, she made a big push and could feel something beginning to form deep inside her. A muscle twitch almost, and she took one more shuddering breath to prepare for what she believed was the final push. Then the door opened.

For Applejack, time and space took an almost peculiar quality in that moment. For starters, time seemed to slow down to almost a standstill. Secondly, she existed in both her and her brothers place at the same time. Because as much as she could see his eyes wide open in surprise, the ever present straw of grass slowly falling towards the ground from a gaping mouth, she could see herself from her brothers perspective. Sweat mattered her coat, her nethers would be glistening with oil, her legs spread in an obscene manner, her hair disheveled, her hat on the floor behind her. She was just about to say something when she slowly saw her brothers mouth and throat begin to work as if trying to form a sound.

“Eyyyy… nope”

As the door closed behind her brother Applejack buried her burning shame in the well worn leather of a Stetson hat.