The Universe is out to Eat me

Entry Log #1779: December 17th, some time after the previous log

I don't think I should've gotten out of the pod.

As soon as I looked out, two ponies' heads, one yellow and another blue, flooded my sky, as I stated before. Some time after, I managed to recognize who they were - Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, respectively. However, before I could react, Fluttershy scooped me up in her hoof(doing a curve at it's end, and with me stuck in the little gap that was inbetween, something that I don't believe that would be possible). This instinctively caused me to yelp in fright, though I don't believe they heard me.

"What's that thing?" Dash boomed behind me, causing my head(and probably F.L.U.D.D.'s nozzle) to move fowards from the loud wind. Apparently, Fluttershy was holding me rather tight, so tight that I thought she'd break my Pip-Boy 9000 at one point.

"I don't know, but since it was in your vomit, I can only assume that it came from inside you," she boomed back, now causing me to recoil backwards. And I have to say, despite seemingly talking quieter than Dash, it was much more intimidating, given how close I was to her mouth, forcing me to be covered in her hot, humid breath, and being forced to see the interior of that dark, saliva-coated cavern. In fact, it gives me the chills to even write that(and that probably will also give the chills to the readers, so I'm going to stop here.

Apparently(and fortunaly for me), she noticed the fact that I was almost being flung away by their speech - and being covered in her breath, and moved me out of the way of their mouths.

However, at this point, I was alterady taken over by shyness, as when I tried to open my mouth to speak, nothing came out, just like in those nightmares where you try to scream for help, but you seem to be a mute.

"Wait, that odd thing was inside me?!" I could hear Rainbow Dash scream(in my point of view, at least) from the other side. I turned around to be able to face both of the two titans, and once again tried to speak, and this time the voice managed to break through my shy barrier, though at a reduced volume.

"I may not be a pony, and may be bug-sized, but that doesn't means you should treat me like one," I muttered, but of course, given the tone of my voice, none of the two heard me.

"Do you think that I ate a worm, or something?" she boomed again. Afterwards, I turned towards Fluttershy again, wondering if she would try to at least defend me. I mean, according to what little information I have from the show, she loves animals, right? I mean, right...?

"Well, given how it came out of an egg, or something like that, I think it's quite probable that it can be a parasite," the pegasus boomed back, kind of hurting me in a way. I wasn't a parasite! Why would I want to live inside others' stomaches for most of my life, anyway?

"Ugh, I really don't like the thought of having more of those two-headed freaks inside me," Dash said, once again causing a loud burst of wind comming from the place I was in just a few minutes ago. That was the last straw for me. Pulling a sledgehammer and crushing the shy barrier, I finally managed to speak at normal tone.

"Hey! I am in no way two-headed, and I'm not a parasite, either!" I said, but unfortunaly, to no avail, the shyness barrier rebuilding itself faster than you can imagine. While that would be an achievement back in my world, this was not one here, since screaming at the top of my lungs for me was just a little louder than a whisper for them. Thankfully, F.L.U.D.D. noticed my predicament, and spoke up for me.

"You two... giantesses, listen up. We are in no way a two-headed parasite, nor do we want to be treated like one. We are living beings just like you," it spoke, pretty loud for me, and thankfully at least intelligible for them, as they finally looked towards me, and unlike before, seemingly ready to talk with me, not about me. Boy, I was wrong in a way.

"Hey, the second head of that worm baby can talk!" Dash spoke, causing me and F.L.U.D.D. to sigh in frustration.

"Um, Rainbow, it just said that it isn't a two-headed worm," Fluttershy replied, managing to make me lit up again. She turned to me, and I have to say, that vision was intimidating. (Note: If you think I am overreacting, try to get to a planet of giant ponies where you're the size of a fly, and say that in the calmest voice anyone has ever heard while one of the ponies is staring right at your soul.)

"Um, hello there..." she said to me, surprisingly with a soft voice, way softer than anything over fifty times bigger than you would. Once I got my arms free from her hooves, I waved timidly at her. Despite being gentle, I just wasn't comfortable enough to act normally around her. "If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are you?" she asked again as she placed me on top of a table.

"Well, for props, I am, as you noticed, part of a bipedal mammal species called Homo sapiens, but also known simply as humans. We are primates of the family Hominidae, and part of the only extant species of the genus Homo," I explained, falling prey to my habit of saying 'for props' when I explain things again. Unfortunaly for me, my explanation went down the drain once I got two confused stares, causing me to sigh. "I'm a human," I simplified, getting two 'Oh's as a response.

"Oh, yeah, I've seen Twilight ramble about humans some time before. Blah, blah, blah, rare, blah, blah, blah, minuscule, blah, blah, blah, appetizing..." Dash boomed on my front with a hint of disdain, causing me to shiver to the point that I ignored the fact that I was being slid backwards by her voice when she mentioned 'appetizing'. The last thing I wanted was for me to being constantly eaten by giants during my forced stay here(which, unfortunaly, was going to happen).

"And what is that thing on your back?" asked Fluttershy before I would enter panic mode. F.L.U.D.D. decided to answer that question for me.

"I am F.L.U.D.D., a Flash Liquidizing Ultra Dousing Device," he explained. Once again, two raised eyebrows faced me.

"It's a machine that shoots water..." I clarified, getting two 'Oh's as a response yet again.

"But, anyway, how did you...end up inside Rainbow Dash?" asked Fluttershy, with Rainbow nodding towards me once she asked. Like you know, I too wasn't really sure about how I got in her, therefore that was as good as a question for them as it is for me.

"I don't know, either," I answered, shrugging. "All I know is that I accidentally set off an escape pod - sorry, I don't feel like doing any more explanations, so don't ask - with me in it, and I ended up hitting my head on the roof from it's sudden downwards launch, and F.L.U.D.D. seemed to shut down aswell," I said. "And when I woke up, the escape pod was alterady inside her stomach."

The two seemed to have mixed feelings about what had just happened. Fluttershy was curious and concerned about my lack of knowledge, obviously. Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, seemed to be unsure of me and apparently thought that I was hiding something, which I don't really blame her, given how odd I got here. However, something told me that somehow she disliked me, especially given her gaze towards me, and that was literally all I needed to survive in this massive world.[/sarcasm]

"Oh my, it's almost lunchtime, and I still haven't even began to prepare it," Fluttershy suddently thought aloud, causing me to cover my ears lest my earrings would explode. "So, will you two stay around for lunch?" she quietly asked.

"Yeah, I guess."

"I don't really have anywhere else to go, anyway, so I don't have much of a choice."

Fluttershy quietly let out an 'okay' that only I(apart from her, obviously) was able to hear. She then flew(rather slow for somebody that is able to fly, in my opinion) towards where I assumed that was the kitchen, but quickly turned around and walked up to me, albeit gently to avoid startling me(I admit, I am pretty much easily startled).

"By the way, what exactly does your species eat? Well, if there are other humans, that is," she asked.

"That depends. Food that all humans eat, or food that I like?" Honestly, if you talk about food, I divide it into three different groups - the food that all humans can eat, the food that generally most humans like, and food that I like(because I am a selfish asshole), which is generally junk food that most of my body despises with every single cell of their constitution but that I crave for. Hey, I am a slacker, can't I trash my stomach with unhealthy food?

"I was going to ask food that humans eat, but if you have different tastes, I suppose that is okay," she replied. Immediatly, a smirk began to creep on my lips, given how it was rare for me to have an opportunity like this. I literally clinged on to it and my tiny little hands wouldn't let go. I then inhaled deep air, and....

"Cake, pizza, lasagna, cupcakes, spaghetti, cookies, juice, soda, hamburgers, fish, chicken meat, lollipops, grilled cheese, ice cream, jam, mayonaise, sugary milk, chocolate bars, pears, grapes and bananas, to name a few," I said, gasping for air. I wasn't surprised to see widened eyes as a reaction.

"Wow, I've never seen something that likes that many junk food! I don't even know how you can handle it!" replied Dash, causing me to chuckle, reminding me of the days back when Earth was actually something, and whenever I ate a ton of junk food and still wanted more, others would look at me with widened eyes, wondering 'Jeez, how can that kid's stomach handle that much food?'. Honestly, either my stomach is a massive black hole on which few food pieces manage to detour that and make it to the intestines, or there was a large(by large I mean humongous) tapeworm living inside me.

"Well, I don't really can get most of the food you mentioned, especially not meat, but I think I can get you the fruits you mentioned," said Fluttershy, causing me to sigh, seeing that I wouldn't get soda. It has been like, a decade(I'm exxagerating, obviously, since I am only at, how Fawful would put it, the unlucky age of thirteen). "But I can buy it if you really want," she added. My 'greedy asshole' side perked up for a moment, but my 'wise guy' side immediatly gave a roundhouse kick across that idiot personality.

"No, no, you don't need to. I would hate myself if I forced you to waste money on a bottle of soda that I would only manage to drink less than 1/20 from it," I replied almost instantly. I gotta pass a good image to them, or otherwise I will end up with the totally not renowed title of 'ALIEN HUMAN GUY THE MONEY-WASTING BASTARD'. It pains me to even think of it. "I guess I'll stick with a grape, just one, though," I added, causing her to nod and go back to the kitchen.

Now it was just me and the blue pegasus, who, as I mentioned before, clearly disliked my presence. I have to admit, it was unnerving to be around her, knowing that somebody over fifty feet could easily crush all of my 206 poor bones in a single stomp. My skeleton immediatly pleaded for my mind to stop thinking about it, and immediatly afterwards my mind recieved the suffering as she shot me a nasty glare. Okay, I admit, it wasn't that nasty, but seriously, being the size of a flea really makes things seem sixty percent more hostile towards you, okay?!

"Heh, heh, uh....h-how's it been your day?" I nervously asked, my face's muscles giving up into making the stereoptical 'nervous smile' you see on cartoons and comics as I slowly backed away from the massive mare.

"Listen here, you little guy. I'm letting the thing that you were in my stomach slide, but I'm keeping my eyes on you. Try anything funny, and you'll have a personal trip to it again, whether you want it or not. Got it, insect?" My angry-self immediatly lifted it's beast ears and hissed violently, but once again, wise me for the rescue, and locked the beast to prevent me from being squashed.

"S-sure, got it l-loud and cl-clear!" and I was still twitching at that time. And I believe that you alterady noticed how bad my predicament is, so I'll not justify anything right now.

"Good," was all she replied. I had no idea why she acted like that, I mean, I may have made a quite odd appearance and be different, but that's not to mean I am an evil invader....right? I just sighed, and used F.L.U.D.D.'s hover nozzle to hover safely to the floor.

I seriously had no idea of why I did that, since she could darn easily just step on me and I'd be gone for. Regardless, I had decided to try to explore the house to pass the time, though I was to nervous to leave the pegasus with my back exposed. I glanced back, and as I expected it, she was still keeping an eye at me. And then it all boiled to some stare contest.

We just kept staring for some time(by some time I mean an extraordinarily long ammount of time). Eventually I just got sick of it and wanted to keep going on, but my nerves just wouldn't let me turn away from her, so I just kept walking backwards, knowing that F.L.U.D.D. could let me know if I was about to collide on something. However, apparently the stare context made me really distracted by that time.

"Uh, master, you may want to turn around," F.L.U.D.D. warned, and then I slowly turned around to find a massive pillow standing behind me. Only seconds after I noticed that this massive pillow was actually a giant bunny staring at me.

And it's stare was definitely not a friendly one.