Fire and Ash

The Great and Powerful Fraud

“House arrest! House arrest! you have been here for two weeks and you are already under house arrest!” Twilight shouted as she walked back and forth across the room.

“It's not that bad, Imagine what would have happened If I had a spade.” She glared at me. Well after the incident with Gilda I was asked to return home pending official enquiry, I apparently cant leave the house. Without a royal guard accompanying me at all times. But as all ways Twilight exaggerates all the possibility’s. She began on to mumble something about getting banished to the moon. Silly Twilight

“Not funny!” she growled, Her eyes staring into my soul. Her lovely Purple eyes. Wait what? I did not just think that, stupid brain.

“So what am I supposed to do all day? Have a Royal guard follow me all over the place?”

“No, you are going to stay in this house until I say otherwise. Is that understood!?” I sighed.

“Fine have it your way... “

Spike burst into the room before I could finish. “Twilight come quick  there’s a new unicorn in town and snips and snails said she is the most powerful unicorn ever!”

“What ?” Twilight asked, not making much sense of spikes vocal onslaught.

“There’s a new unicorn in town! Apparently she is the most powerful unicorn ever!”

Twilights ears dropped she had a sad look on her face, spike quickly bolted back through the door, probably of to where this new unicorn was. I walked over to the sad looking Twilight “Don’t worry Twi, no unicorn is better than you” She blushed, she looked very cute when she blushed. Dammit brain. “Now come on, lets see this new unicorn.” I walked over to the door and stepped out.

“What what about the Guard?!”

“Fuck the police!” I shouted back before walking in the direction spike ran off to. Twilight quickly caught up, still sporting the blush on her face, we walked to the town square. This should be good.

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We soon arrived at the town square and were met with a large crown of ponies all gathered round what appeared to be some kind of trailer. We noticed twilights friends and walked up to them, most of the ponies moved out of my path trying to keep their distance. Its not every day you here about a griffin getting its ass kicked. I sat down so I wasn't obscuring any of the ponies views, when I sat they where just a little bit taller than me.

Aloud voice caught the crowds attention Come one! Come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the great and powerful Trixie!!!” The trailer unfolded so it became a mini stage, some shitty props popped out from the back of it and with a flash of smoke a blue unicorn wearing a wizards hat appeared, the ponies gasped and awed at the show.

“Watch in aww as the great and powerful Trixie, preforms the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!!” She stood on her back hooves as fireworks and music went off in the back ground, it wasn't very impressive.

Twilight went of to talk to rarity and Applejack, I just watched in aww at the shitty tricks she was preforming. First she summoned a bouquet of flowers before giving it a sniff.

“Boo! Magic smagic, boo!!” I looked over to find dash looking rather guiltily at Applejack.

“Well well well, It appears we have some neigh! Sayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant to challenge the magic ability of the great and powerful Trixie.” Hmm I need a spade.

“Don't they know that they are in the presence of the most magical unicorn in Equestria?!” More fire works went off, I was beginning to hate fire works.

Dash flew right up to her face “So great and powerful Trixie what makes you so awesome any ways?” She asked threateningly.

I lost interest in their conversation when I noticed Twilight had disappeared. She quickly came totting through the crown again. I was about to ask why she left but I was interrupted by another light show. She was going on about defeating some big teddy bear or something and to be honest I couldn't care less, but the ponies certainly did. From the looks on their faces most of them had some clue what it was. A small Yellow pony with a snail for a cutie mark ran up to her.

“That settles it, Trixie truly is the most talented, most magical, most awesome unicorn in Ponyville.” He sounded fucking retarded.

An even smaller pony with a pair of scissors jumped in “No in all of Equestria!” He sounded even more stupid. Spike started to shout something but I couldn't make it out over all the murmurs of agreement from the ponies behind me.

“I here by challenge you Ponyvillians, anything you can do I can do better.” Oh this is going to be fun.

Of course the first ponies to accept the offer were Twilights friends. And they got there asses handed to them every time. She turned Rarity's hair green, tied Applejack up like a hog roast with an apple in her mouth to add to the effect. Rainbow got twirled around by a rainbow, no really a rainbow, before getting a lighting bolt to the flank. Which resulted in everyone laughing at her.

“Anyone else?” she asked? “How about you?” she was pointing a hoof at Twilight. For some reason Twilight began to sputter and look for away out of the crown that had gather around her. She looked like she was about to bolt off. Time to fuck with her I think.

“I accept your challenge!” I shouted, I was met with murmurings and worried looks from the ponies but Trixie kept a straight face. Finally a pony that wasn't instantly afraid of me. That makes a change, it is rather comforting actually

“OK hairless ape, what is your challenge?” I looked around at the crowd and to twilight, she was slowly walking away from the crowd as I got all the attention, she was about to make a run for it.

“Fetch me a spade!” I was met with confused looks from Trixie and all the ponies in the square. However I was quickly lifted from the ground in a purple field and carried away from the group towards a very angry looking Twilight. Totally worth it.

I tried speaking to her as she carried me off to her house but I quickly found my mouth was being held shut with magic. Like I said totally worth it. When we reached the library I was placed down on the ground and awaited by verbal assault from twilight, it never came. Instead I was met with a sad looking Twilight that quickly walked up the stairs and into her room. What was all that about?

My stomach groaned I'll find out after I had something to eat. God what I would do for a big juicy stake right about now.

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I waited a good thirty minutes after having a bit to eat before I knocked on her bed room door. I was met with silence. “Twilight are you OK in there?” I asked very concerned, I had never seen her act like this before.

I heard the door open so I went down stairs to check who it was. It was spike and he didn't look pleased.

“There's something wrong with Twilight” I said as he walked over to the stars”You should go talk with her.” he just nodded and headed up the stairs to her room. They talked for a little bit before he came back down the stairs and walked over to the door slamming it behind him. Fuck it.

I knocked on Twilight's door before walking in she was sitting over a desk engrossed in some book. “What's wrong Twi? It wasn't me was it? I am sorry about the spade joke.” I really hope it wasn't the spade joke that made her so sad.

“No its not that, it's just that spike wants me to show up Trixie in a feat of magic but I don't want to. What would my friends think of me if I showed of like her?” she slouched. Is that what's got her so down? She thinks that if she beats Trixie in a a contest her friends wont like her any more? That is rather silly to be honest.

“Twilight that is a very silly thing to say.”

“What?”

“Your friends wont hate you if you beat Trixie in a competition. They are your best friends besides Trixie needs to be shown a lesson any ways.” I smiled “So ill go get my spade and you stay right here.” She growled again but before she could say anything a loud roar echoed through the library.

We looked at each other then ran for the door. Another roar echoed through the town before we reached the door. It was chaos, ponies were running in all directions and screaming for their lives. The sight of a blue unicorn trying to fight a large blue bear, it looked almost see through, caught our attention. We ran. The same two retarded ponies from before were there telling her to vanquish it.

“What's going on?” twilight yelled as we approached the two retarded ponies.

“We brought an Ursa to town.” the small blue one said in a very annoying voice. The kind of voice you really wanted to hit.

“You what!!” Both me and twilight shouted in unison.

“Don't worry the great and powerful Trixie will vanquish it” The taller, yellow pony spoke up. He looked over to Trixie with a large grin on his face.

“I can't” The blue unicorn spoke as she lowered her head “No one can vanquish a ursa major, I just made the whole story up to make me look better.” She said in a rushed voice. You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Loud growling echoed behind us. We all turned to find the Ursa looming over a small house. It roared and started walking towards us. Twilight had a determined look on her face as she took a few steps forward. Her horn began to glow and the wind picked up as the soft sound of music began to play. It sounded a lot like a lullaby. I could actually see the notes of music flow into the massive bears ears, somehow. The Ursa smiled as it began to get sleepy and sway with the music.

Magic swirled and burst from Twilights horn as a large water storage unit floated over, milk dripping from the sides. The Ursa quickly fell asleep and was only inches away from floating Trixie before a purple aurora engulfed it. The Ursa began floating. I looked back to Twilight, I could see that she was close to passing out from the strain.

She floated the water, now milk, storage unit into the Ursa's grasp. It began suckling on it like a baby would do to a bottle. The Ursa floated over Ponyville and back into the Everfree forest. When it was out of sight Twilight quickly dropped to her knees.

Cheers erupted from the crowd, Twilight quickly turned to see most of Ponyville cheering, she managed a smile before passing out. We rushed over to her. Please be OK.

The girls beat me to her and crowded around her.

“She's OK.” Applejack shouted “She just needs some rest.” Thank god.

Trixie staring at us, I'm going to kill her. I rose to my feet and started to walk over to her. All the ponies in my way moved instantly seeing the face of murder I wore. I however didn't get the chance to beat her to death, a flash of smoke and some distant words about her returning sounded in the distance.

I turned back to see Twilight floating in Rarity's blue magic. She was walking in the direction of the library.

“Is she going to be OK?” I asked as I caught up with her group of friends. Rainbow and Applejack cringed at my words.

“She will be, after she gets a lot of sleep that is.” Rarity chimed in “It has happened to me lots of times when I work to long on a dress, using too much magic makes you tired even Twilight.” She better be

We quickly arrived back at the library, Spike was no where to bee seen though.

“Jake, be a dear and go make us all a cup of tea. We will get Twilight to her bed.” Rarity said. I just nodded before walking into the kitchen and putting the kettle on to boil.

I came back into the living room to find all of her friends had left. That wasn't very nice I thought as I climbed up the stairs to Twilights room. I peeked through the door, she was sleeping peacefully in her bead with spike by her side. When did he get here? She began stirring in her sleep, I quickly closed the door, I didn’t want to wake her after all.

I looked at the clock on the wall, 3 am, fuck that I'm going to bed. I quickly got to my room and got undressed, the only thing I wore was a pair of boxers that I got Rarity to make me. I climbed into bed hopping for a peaceful sleep. It never came.