This Isn't The HUB Network!

     I don't usually get to watch My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic -- my wife detests the show and thinks me childish for even liking it.  She is definitely anti-brony.  Be that as it may, I decided to do a little channel-surfing just to see what was on.  Satellite TV has a ton of channels and it takes a very long time to go through all of them, but something caught my eye when I passed one channel I didn't even know we had a subscription to.  I saw a pony who looked an awful lot like Applejack trotting behind a red barn, nervously looking around to see if anypony was watching her.  She then turned her backside to the far end corner of the barn and dropped a few horseapples, causing me to do a double-take.

     "Did she just do that?" I asked aloud to myself.  I watched as she trotted back around the front of the barn.

     "Nature sure picks a bad time to call," she muttered as she made her way to the front of the farm house.

     I decided to see if I could talk to her, so I plugged a microphone into a USB port on the side of the TV and turned it on.

     "Applejack?  Is that you?" I asked.

     The orange earth pony looked around to see who was talking to her.  "Show yerself!  Where are ya?  Who are ya?  How do ya know mah name?" she asked, continuing to look around to see where the disembodied voice was coming from.  What she heard were soft chuckles coming out of my mouth.  "What's so funny?  Ah'll betcha won't think it's funny when I buck ya!"

     "My name is Michael, and I'm looking at you from a portal in another world," I replied.  She looked around nervously again, trying to see if there were a portal she could find.

     "I dunno who or what you are, but this ain't funny!  It's not nice to pull pranks on ponies, ya know?"

     "I'm not pulling a prank, Applejack -- maybe Twilight has told you about portals, yes?" I asked.

     "That egghead knows almost everything," she said flatly.

     "Then why don't you go get her for me so I can talk to her?" I grinned, though she couldn't see me.

     "Ah'm not gonna run errands fer ya, even if ya ask nicely.  Ah got better things ta do," she said dismissively and entered the house.

     "Hello?  Cameraman?  Can you switch to Twilight's house for me?" I asked through the microphone.  Amazingly, the camera view switched to show the very large oak tree and its front door, which was closed.  "Is there a way you can get her attention for me?"

     A certain pink earth pony came bouncing into view as if in response to my query.

     "Hi, Pinkie Pie," I said cheerfully.  She turned her head to look seemingly directly at me.

     "Oh!  Hi!  How long have you been watching us?" she asked, approaching the camera.  She seemed to get right up into the camera so that all of her that could be seen was her face and her beautiful blue eyes.

     "Has anypony ever told you you have the most beautiful eyes --" I began.

     "Hey, silly billy!  Of course they have!  All the stallions around here tell me that, just 'cause they want something from me!  And you didn't answer my question!"

     "This is a new TV channel, I've only been watching for about ten minutes," I replied.

     "No, you've been watching longer than that, silly billy!  I've seen you watching all of us from time to time!  What's your name?"

     "My name's Michael -- and I would like to talk to Twilight if you could get her for me."

     "Why do you wanna talk to her?  She's so boring and everything!  I'm much more fun to talk to!  I wanna ask you a whole bunch of questions!  What's your world like?  I can see your bed behind you there -- is it really comfy?  Is that a mirror I see off to the left?  What would happen if you put that mirror behind you?  Would I be able to see myself?"

     "It might create a paradox if I do that, Pinkie.  I think I'm looking at your world through a portal, though what I'm looking at is a device called a television.  If you were on this side of the barrier separating us, you'd see a large black rectangular screen.  I wanted to talk to Twilight to see if she could create a portal for real, though I'm not sure if she'd want to visit my world.  I know I would like to come to your world and see more of it than what I've been able to see so far."

     "Oh, you're no fun!  But if you do come here, I'll be sure to throw a big party for you, Mikey!" she exclaimed cheerfully before turning to face the tree.  She glanced behind her, directly at the camera.  "You're not checking our my plot, are you?"

     "It is rather pretty," I offered, chuckling slightly.  She blushed but giggled a little, then knocked on the front door of the library.  Spike opened the door.

     "Hey, Pinkie, what'cha want?" the little dragon asked.  He was oblivious to my watching him.

     "Is Twiley here?  There's somepony I want her to meet," the pink party pony chirped.

     "Hang on a second, I'll go get her," he said flatly before trudging up the stairs to fetch the librarian.

      "Spike, who is it?  It's Pinkie?  Tell her I'm busy studying or something, I don't have time for her right now," she stated, a hint of annoyance in her voice.  "What?  She has somepony she wants me to meet?  Whatever."  She trotted slowly down the stairs and saw the baker grinning as though she were up to something.  "Pinkie, this had better be important -- I"m behind on my reading, I have an experiment I'm supposed to be working on, I have a friendship report due tomorrow --"

     "Come on, Twiley, this is so cool!  There's somepony who wanted to talk to you -- I can see him, but he says he's talking to us through a portal or something," Pinkie stated, bouncing excitedly and dragging the librarian with her outside the library.

     "Hello, Twilight," I said, trying to sound as cheerful as I could.  The lavender unicorn looked around nervously, the same way Applejack had done.

     "Who is this?  Who are you?  Where are you?" she asked, worry tinging her words.  Pinkie Pie showed her the camera.

     "Over there, silly filly!  Can you see him?"

     "All I see is a pony with a camera, Pinkie.  What are you looking at?"

     "But -- But he says his name's Michael!  I was talking to him just a little while ago!  Michael, say something else to Twiley!"

     "Can you create a portal through the camera, Twilight?" I asked.

     "Hmm.  I don't know if I can -- there are limits to magic, you know.  I'll have to see if I have a book on that," she said nonchalantly and headed back towards her front door.

     "Twilight, I don't think you'll have a book on portals to alternate universes, especially human ones," I said, trying to keep her attention.  She turned around again, facing the camera.