We're Here, Now What?

     "Mike, who are you talking to?" asked Brenda as she entered the room.  She saw me standing in front of the TV, microphone in my right hand.  She turned to see what was on the TV and her expression grew dark.  "What did I tell you about those ponies?  You need to stop that!"

     "Who else is in there with you, Michael?" asked Twilight.  Brenda did a double-take when she heard this.

     "Twilight, my wife Brenda is in here with me -- Pinkie, you might be able to see her if you get up into the camera again," I offered.  The pink party pony bounced up to the camera again, pushing her face against it.

     "Wow!  She looks different from you!  How many colors do you come in?" she asked, a big grin on her face.  Brenda shrunk back towards the bed.

     "Mike, how is this happening?" she asked apprehensively.

     "I dunno, Brenda, I was channel surfing and stumbled across this channel.  I'm curious to know if I can visit Ponyville again -- I had quite a bit of fun last time around," I chuckled.

     "What do you mean by that?  I've never seen you before," Pinkie said quizzically.  She still wore a grin and tilted her head left to right and back again, still peering through the camera at us.  "You mean you were here before?"

     "Yeah, but that was a few months ago, when I was in a copy of Twilight's body," I replied nonchalantly.  Pinkie's face lit up with a huge grin.

     "I'll bet that was tons of fun!  You need to come back!" she exclaimed very excitedly.  She bounced over to Twilight, who was still stunned by this information.  "Twilight, can you create a portal and bring Mikey here?  We're gonna have so much fun!"

     "He's not going anywhere," Brenda stated flatly through the microphone.  "He's got things to do HERE.  He can NOT go to -- Ponyville, is it?  No, I won't let him!"  She then turned the TV off, but the picture remained on.  She pushed the button a few more times, then unplugged the TV, but it still remained on.  "I don't know what's going on here, but whoever's responsible for this better stop!"

     "What's going on in there?" asked Twilight.  I grabbed the microphone again.

     "Brenda's trying to turn off the TV and keep me from talking to you -- apparently, she doesn't want me to visit you guys," I stated flatly.  Suddenly, a pink foreleg came through the TV into our room as Pinkie got back into the camera again, her face practically taking up the entire screen.

     "Come on, Mikey!  Let's have some fun!" she chirped.  Brenda was aghast at the sight of the pink party pony's foreleg.  I took a step back, but reached out for her hoof with my right hand and grabbed hold of it.  I was amazed by the softness but didn't have time to react when I felt myself being bodily pulled through the TV.  I fell forward as Pinkie fell backward with the force of her pull with me landing on top of her as she landed on her back.  I was sprawled across her, nose to muzzle.  She gave me a quick kiss before I could react.

     "Pinkie Pie!  Sorry about that," I grinned sheepishly.  She giggled quite a bit at my reaction.

     "You're such a silly billy!" she exclaimed, still giggling.

     "Mike!  You come back here right NOW!" Brenda shouted through the microphone.  "And get off that pony!  What the fuck do you think you're doing?  Are you trying to have sex with her?"

     "Your wife is a real potty-mouth, you know?" Twilight queried, trying to stifle a giggle herself.

     "Tell me about it," I replied flatly.  "She's been like that for 20 years."  I turned to see Brenda's hand seemingly coming from nowhere.  "Give me a flyswatter, I'm gonna teach her a lesson," I chuckled.

     "You're not gonna teach me nothing!" my wife shouted angrily.  "When I get my hands on you --"

     "You're not gonna do anything, Brenda!  What makes you think you can touch me here?" I asked, anger and resentment coloring my words.  I watched as she stuck her head through the portal.  The camera-pony dropped his equipment in shock as Brenda seemed to squeeze through it, making it into Ponyville herself.  She walked up to me at this point.

     "Mike!  I told you to come back!  Now how are we supposed to get back?  Have Twilight send us?" she asked indignantly.

      "Oooh, cool!  Now I can throw BOTH of you a welcome party!  We're gonna have so much fun!" Pinkie chirped as she bounced around very excitedly.  Brenda chuckled at the pink party pony as she continued to bounce around, babbling on about how this was going to be the biggest, bestest party EVER!

     "Um, Pinkie, I'm afraid I'm not much of one for parties," I stated flatly.  She bounded over to me and got up into my face.

     "You're gonna enjoy yourself or there's gonna be trouble for you, mister meaniepants," she said in a threateningly low tone of voice.  "I don't care if you're not one for parties, but NOPONY turns down a Pinkie party!"

     "All right, I'll go, jeez -- you're gonna force me to have fun?  What have I gotten myself into?  Hey, Twilight, can you get ahold of Princess Celestia and have her send us back?  Can she do this?  Can you do it?" I asked, my expression changing to one of worry.

     "Oh no you don't, Mikey!  You're going to my party, even it I have to drag you there myself!" Pinkie exclaimed, her mane and tail flattening out a bit.

     "I'll help him, Pinkie -- I've been trying to break him out of his shell for the past 20 years and he still doesn't want to loosen up!" Brenda laughed.  "The way Mike's been going on about this place has made me a little curious, but I didn't think I could come here.  It'll be fun for a day, but we gotta go back before tonight's over."

      Twilight recovered from her shock of seeing two humans suddenly appear.  "Um, I will have Spike send a letter to the Princess -- I'm sure she'd be very interested to meet you -- but I don't know if she'll be able to send you back."

      Other ponies who had been passing by stopped to see what was going on and a certain mint-green unicorn trotted up to us.  "I knew it!  I tried to tell everypony that humans were real, but nopony believed me!  And here you two are!"

     "You must be Lyra," I said flatly.  "But is it really that big a deal to you?"

     "Are you kidding?  I've been reading every book on the subject of humans I could find!  I was hoping I'd get a chance to see a human before I died -- this is like a dream come true!  But why is the shorter one much darker?"

     "Our ancestries are different -- I am of European ancestry and Brenda is of African ancestry," I replied.  More ponies had gathered around us to check out the curiosity of two humans.  Pinkie had already left, but I hadn't been paying attention to that.

     "Oh, cool -- you're from different parts of your world?" Lyra asked, a big toothy grin on her face.  She was slowly approaching us to get a closer inspection.

     "No, not really -- just our ancestors.  Brenda is from Louisiana, I'm from Illinois -- we got married about 20 years ago, several months after Brenda moved to Illinois," I offered.  Pinkie popped up from out of nowhere.

     "We could have an anniversary party for you two!" she chirped before disappearing again.  I chuckled at the prospect.

     "She's gonna force me to have fun against my will," I stated flatly.  "Fun is not fun if it's forced on you."

     "Michael, it's Pinkie Pie, what do you expect?" asked Twilight.  "Besides, you just need to give her a chance -- you'll find out it's more fun than you think!"

     "Mike, what's happened to us?  We look like cartoon characters," Brenda mused.  She looked around nervously at the growing number of ponies who were watching us, whispering to each other.  I noticed this as well.

     "Um, listen up, everypony -- I know you are all wondering who we are -- and I see more of you are coming by to check us out.  My name is Michael Walker, and this is my wife, Brenda.  We are humans from another universe.  Pinkie Pie pulled me through a portal and Brenda followed me here.  Since we're new here, we hope to make a good impression on you all, and hope that you may come to accept us as members of your society," I said, trying to sound upbeat and optimistic.

      A barrage of questions from a great many ponies drowned everything else out at this point.  Lyra had practically sidled right up to me to get a very close inspection and Brenda tried to shoo her away.  Twilight was trying to calm everypony down, though they had become rather restless and were shouting over each other in an attempt to get answers to their specific questions.

      "HEY!!  One at a time here, please!" I shouted.  My outburst seemed to calm everypony back down, the noise level returning to hushed whispers.

      "Thanks, Michael," the lavender unicorn grinned.