Well, This Can't get any Worse, Right?

Chapter Two

Ponyville, Undefined Airspace on the Northern Edge of Town.

Rainbow Dash stood outside her home, yawning as the sun peeked over the horizon, her eyes half lidded. She made it home fine, and had the common sense to go to bed, but five hours wasn't quite good enough for her to just wake up ready to go. With a quick stretch and a flap, she shot into the air, wobbling slightly, and turned north, heading to the white speck on the horizon. Unbeknownst to her, however, another entity was close behind her, moving along the ground on heavy metal tank treads.

Damn it, why does she fly at mach one every time she goes somewhere? The armored vehicle dodged around a caravan, unnoticed by virtue of what it was, and shifted gears to pick up speed. Come on, treads don’t fail me now!

It wasn't the treads that gave up

With a ratcheting sound the vehicle lunged forward, before stopping with a loud clang as gaskets failed. Without a sound, the vehicle's plating folded in on itself before disappearing, replaced by a bipedal being wearing a large set of sunglasses and a gray coat, two rows of buttons running down the front, and a large silver lance strapped to his back. Grumbling, the being dropped to all fours and started galloping after his target, falling behind quickly, and soon losing sight of the cyan mare as he slowed to a trot with a mumbled 'Damn it'.

"Well, great," He said standing up and stomping his left hoof in frustration, "There goes one of today’s spells..."

Raising his left hand and holding out the first of the three claws at the end, sketched a circle, then bisected it vertically. The image formed from light, and he let his arm drop down to his side with a huff as the world around him warped and twisted, turning into white columns and tall, sleek buildings, all made of clouds. Turning his head left to right, he looked a sign of Rainbow Dash, and saw none.

"Where..?" He turned around and realized he was in the cities center, near city hall, and slammed a palm into his forehead with a clack of claw against horn. "Bloody fucking hell, am I really that dense..?" Turning towards the still rising sun, he jogged towards what he hoped was Rainbow's destination. Dodging the few Pegasi out and about at this hour proved to be an easy task compared to navigating a city planned in three dimensions. "Left, right, straight, up...no, wait, wasn't it down?" Skidding to a stop, he looked at the building's around him, only to be knocked down by a certain polychromatic blur. "Bingo," he said, standing up and dusting himself off before running after the mare, "and thank you blind luck...”

With that, he entered the Weather Factory, following her to a large conference room with a large blackboard attached to the far wall somehow.

Rainbow stared at the board, neither caring or understanding what the presentation had to do with her job, as it was about the distribution of rain to the eastern portion of Equestria, and any outlying area's nearby. Or why she had to sit through seven hours of bureaucratic nonsense when Ponyville was literally on the other side of the continent.

Slowly but surely, she began to daydream, thinking of her bed and her friends, which led her to memories of her hometown.

As her eyes started to glaze over, she found herself thinking about an old hangout from her year's at Flight School. She smiled at the antics her and a few other had gotten into, including a rather impressive prank involving three pounds of butter, a chicken, fifteen gallons of grape juice and half of an apple pie.

Wonder if it's still in business...

Problem was, her gaze wasn't directed at the board, but had instead drifted to one of the windows and the afternoon sun, catching the attention of the brown and red Pegasus stallion at said board.

"Rainbow Dash, " he shouted, startling Rainbow out of her trip down memory lane, "need I remind you to pay attention like a foal?"

"Uh, no, sorry," She quickly looked at the board and picked out a certain part of the diagram, trying to fake her way out, "I was just thinking about how moving clouds from the land-locked areas would help coastal towns'?"

Unfortunately, it was the one thing that had just been discussed, at length, by a weather manager from said coastal towns.

With a solid ‘THUD’ every head in the room, except for hers, connected with the table (and in one case, the podium) at the same time.

"What?" She looked around the room, and felt her cheeks grow warm. "Seriously, what I do?"

Meanwhile, the entity that had followed her was doing his level best to stay awake, despite the rather interesting mechanics of weather distribution, and busted out laughing at Rainbow's embarrassment. She rarely made mistakes that hurt her reputation, but when she did, she did so with style.

So she stood up and left the room, grumbling, still sporting a red tint to her face. Following her out to the street, the entity noted the position of her wings, tensed, and waited for her to open them.

"Well, what the hay..." she flared her feathered appendages, "Let's see if the bars still there..."

With that, she shot into the sky, leaving her shadow behind in seconds. Smiling, the entity clapped his claws together and started walking after her, the path of minor property damage left behind making a rather easy to follow path for him.

Five hours, six glasses of cider (for her) and an unmentionably complex beverage (for him), later.

The bar was alive and well, having grown over the years to accommodate Cloudsdales’ growing population, and Rainbow was having a rather good time catching up with the owner, while the unseen entity simply sipped at a multicolored drink.

"Humph." He watched as Rainbow started talking about one of her many achievements in stunt flying, chuckling to himself. "You might be the fastest flier in Equestria, Rainbow," he took another sip, the fruity drink essentially burning his throat like napalm, "but you certainly ain't the most humble."

"And then I ended it with an aileron roll before landing, and that's when-"

Deciding it was safe to leave Rainbow be, the entity walked behind the counter, waited for the cash register to be opened, and placed three bits inside before making his way to the door and making his way into the night air. Reaching his arm into the air, the entity popped his shoulders' with a groan, and jumped, landing on the bars roof, lying down and staring at the moon hovering just above the horizon and the still alien stars. He thought back to the first night in this world, all the cuts and bruises from fighting off Timberwolves and the odd manticore, before finding the place he now called home. He undid the first three buttons' of his coat and pulled out a small gold badge with his right claw, the metal clashing spectacularly with the three black claws holding it.

"Hard to believe it, eh, Faust?" The badge itself was formed from a set of wings, wrapped around a capital Q and F, the letters interlocking smoothly. "You put me through hell, literally." the badge gave no response. "Of course, you never answer, you only call..." Placing the badge back in its pocket, he rebut toned the coat and sat up, just in time to see Rainbow wobble outside, closely followed by a slightly larger stallion, notably much more sober then the mare. "And this time," the entity whispered, “you didn't have to...”

Leaping down from the sign, he landed in a crouch behind the stallion, right claws over his shoulder, loosely gripping the lance as he stalked towards the pair. The stallion didn't do anything, he even used a wing o help steady the drunken Dash at his side, talking to her and making small talk. Feeling unsure, the entity straightened, eyeing the pair with a small twinge of jealousy.

"Ok, maybe he isn't-" They walked pass an ally, and the stallion almost threw Rainbow Dash into it letting her hit the ground limply before charging after her with  a wide smile, "-So bad..." Pulling his lance off his back as he ran after the stallion, the entity dropped the illusion he'd been using, making him visible and audible to everything.

He leveled the tip of his lance with the back of the stallions head and hissing.

"What the?" Turning, the stallion saw his foe and yelped, jumping over Dash and putting the cloud wall of the dead end at his back. "What in Tartarus are, you freak?!"

"I'm a bodyguard," the entity said, his voice changing to a deep baritone, echoing off the walls and drawing the attention of passerby and creating a small audience, "And you just attacked, and were probably about kidnap, my charge."

"Kidnap?" The stallion flared his wings, angling them to face the entity, "Why didn't I think of that?" He moved closer to Dash, almost close enough to grab her. "Here i was, about to tap that and leave it behind!"

The entity moved the lance and inch to the right, his expression hardening as he felt a surge of anger. The stallion, unaware of what he had gotten himself into, reached out wrap an arm around Dash's neck and fly off with her. He looked up in time to see the entity lunge forward, the lance growing larger as the stalions eyes went wide.

"No! Im sorry! I'll-!"

A crack echoed through the alley and into the street, sending the crowd of onlookers screaming for the guard.

The entity wobbled, a sudden feeling of nausea causing his vision to blur and refocus. Turning his head, he looked at the stallions still twitching body over his left shoulder, minus a large portion of body's head, and then looked at his lance, embedded about a foot into the wall and covered in blood and scraps of greymatter. He backed up, letting his weapon stay in the wall. He turned and walked towards the corpse, his vision turning blurry and fire filling his veins as he stood next to the body, watching as the blue and rainbow blur stirred and raised what was either a wing or her head, before screaming.

Why do I feel like a-

He didn't feel the guards tackle him; he just noticed that the sky and cloud floor switched places, and the pool of vomit next to his face.

Wait... of...bucking......course'.

And with that, he blacked out, falling into a dreamless sleep.