Well, This Can't get any Worse, Right?

Chapter Three

Present day, Cloudsdale Guard Outpost Number 4, Holding Cells'.

The closest thing the inmates could think of was a Diamond dog, but the being sitting on the bench obviously wasn't one.

His head was that of a white-orange stallion, with rams’ horns, curled maybe halfway to the base, bat-like ears, a ragged, oily mane, and yellow eyes. The stallions' upper-torso and withers' were covered in flat plates of midnight blue metal, two ridges surounding a hemisphere of metal over his collarbones and sternum, and wrapping around to his back making a wide diamond shaped plate, with short, pleated rectangular plates laid against his back, pointing at the ground, colored a bright yellow, and slanted at the ends. His lower legs resembled his torso, the outside of his hock down seamlessly melded into the metal that coated the limb to the ankle, made of black slats, almost like a pinecone, and ending in silver, cloven hooves. His tail and mane resembled oil in appearance. His arms were almost normal, except for the three-clawed hands that took the place of hooves.

And every pony in the cell stayed as far away as possible. He ignored them, instead watching his hands, still blurry hours later, and he wasn't quite sure why, despite the outpost's medic examining him. It cost a random pony his life, even though he would have raped Rainbow Dash.

Hell, who in Creation am I fooling..? Sighing he closed his eyes and leaned against the bars to his right, the metal scrapping against his pauldron. He would've run off right after I charged...

Grumbling he stood up, wobbling slightly, and stumbled over to a sink somehow bolted into the opposite wall. He fumbled with the faucet before getting a steady flow of water, and began to wash his face.

"Hey."

Facing the ponies he responded with a grunt, water dripping from his face, and watched as a larger Pegasus moved from the group, walking up to him.

The inmate was about five inches from looking him in the eyes.

"What did you do to get in here?"

"I killed a rapist," he deadpanned, "And I think I may be poisoned..."

As expected, murder had the same effect on the ponies as a window would have on a bird flying at high speed. The inmate backed away and chuckled nervously, before moving to the back of the group. Turning back to the sink, he put his forehead against the wall. With a deliberate slowness, he drew his head back, the inmates watching with baited breath, and slammed his skull into the cloud, eliciting a clang as he hit metal underneath the soft material. Then he did it again, and again, and again.

Eventually, he settled into a steady pace, hitting the wall every three seconds.

"Hey! Stop that!"

"Hold on," he stopped mid-swing, looked at the guard at the cell door, and then slammed his skull into the wall even harder, making the metal surface underneath scream in protest as a dent formed from the impact, "O.K. I'm done."

The guard was not amused, and glared at the offending creature before unlocking the cell and opening the door.

"You have visitor's."

"Who?"

"Princess Twilight Sparkle and a group of her friends."

"...Of course..."

He was led into another room, manacles holding his claws together, with a small table with a cup of coffee and a small white pill sitting on a napkin, and two chairs.

"Take a seat."

The guard undid the manacles and left, leaving him to take a seat, and take the cup. Picking up the pill, he noticed the napkin had a distinctive style of writing on it.

"'For alcohol poisoning'..." He read, popping the pill into his mouth, and downing the coffee in one gulp. "Go figure. I can kill a manticore bare-handed, but I can't drink..."

After few minutes, another pony walked in, a lavender Alicorn, and his vision cleared completely. She closed the door after another, familiar, Pegasus trotted in, eyeing the creature nervously. He nodded at them, and waved at the other chair, to which they shook their heads.

"...So..." he looked between  the two, noting with a bit of regret that Rainbow dash was shivering almost imperceptibly, "...I'm sorry, by the way..."

The two looked confused, until Rainbow responded, her voice confident though it carried fear. Once again, he felt a pang of regret, now tinged with a bit of guilt.

"Why..?"

"...For not being faster..." he looked at her, and held out the napkin, the text facing her, "..And not stopping him earlier."

"You mean the stallion?" Twilight's voice held a stern tone, but was uncertain, "The one you killed?"

"Yes."

"You were planning to kill him then?"

"No..." he shook his head and slid the napkin towards her, "Your friend was right Twilight." she picked the napkin up with her magic, reading the message before turning her head, looking at Rainbow Dash, who looked at the ground, embarrassment in her eyes. "I apparently can't drink alcohol, and I unfortunately had a rather strong drink before I confronted him."

"Why did you attack him, if I may ask?"

"...It's my job..."

"What?"

"It's my job." He didn't let Twilight ask the next question, instead continuing from there. "I was brought here to guard an important part of this world, and he threatened one of my charges." He let his head drop, looking at the table. "I couldn't let him hurt Rainbow Dash..."

"How long have you been following the Element Bearers?"

"Five years, give or take a week."

"Who hired you?"

"You're going to be more specific, right?"

"Fine. Who hired you to watch us?"

"I can't give you the name, not unless Celestia and Luna are present." Twilight opened her mouth to correct him. "I don't care much for titles, even my own mean nothing outside of politics."

"Then you won't tell us?"

"No." He nodded to Rainbow. "I owe my benefactor more then you know, and I would rather not break one of the few rules I was given."

"So what can you tell us?"

"Any basic information, such as height, weight, name and the like." He shrugged. "I don't see a point in lying, and I didn't plan on leaving on my own power."

"You could get out of the guard post?"

"Easily, I just need to have people not looking at me, then I would disappear."

"Is that how you followed me?" Rainbow asked, her bravado having remained, “I want to know, or is that outside of basic information?"

"No, it's not."

"Well, say it then!"

"A perception barrier, mixed with a teleportation spell."

Both mares were silent, Twilight because of the power required for a spell that dispersed and Rainbow because she had no idea what was just said.

"So that explains..."

"Every odd little thing that has been knocked over or put in the wrong place. I know, I'm well aware of how many times I've bungled things up."

"Ok then," Twilight's horn lit and a small notebook and pen popped into existence next to her head. He felt his stomach drop down through the cloud floor and hit the ground miles away in an instant, "Now for the actual questions!"

Oh no...

Rainbow felt bad for Bone Wrecker, as the creature called himself. After the first thirty or so questions, he'd started twitching. That was three hours ago.

After another thirty, Rainbow had left, walking into the adjacent room where her friends were and sat with the group. They'd been arguing over Bone Wreckers' stalker like tendencies, and nopony was very happy at being followed for years.

"Ah'm tellin yah, we should let him go ta jail." Applejack was particularly miffed, mostly because he had admitted to stealing a few apples over the time he'd been watching them. "He's a thief and a liar, not to mention he killed somepony!"

"But he did it to help Dashie!" Pinkie was on the fence, if only because he'd helped somepony by hurting somepony else, "And what would do we if she'd been hurt?"

"That don't change the fact that he-"

Rainbow Dash spoke up, voicing her own opinion.

"Aj, he didn't mean to kill that stallion," She continued, cutting Applejack off, "Plus he's helped us out more than once."

"Applejack, I have to agree with Rainbow on this," Rarity was looking at Bone Wreckers' coat, catching details and small imperfections in the cloth, "From what we know, he had intended to scare the stallion off, not...kill...him."

"But he did, and he shouldn't get off scot-free for something like that!"

Silence filled the room as Applejack turned and glared at the glass wall, her gaze centered on Bone Wrecker, who was head-butting the table as Twilight continued to fill out the notebook.

"...I-I don't think he's trying to..." Fluttershy was sitting on the far side of the room, and was avoiding looking at the others. "He didn't run when he could have..."

"What was that Shy'?"

"I-I said, he didn't run when he could have..."

"And that matter's why?"

"Shy's right Applejack." Rainbow punched Applejack's shoulder playfully with a small grin, "Besides, he did pay for those apples eventually."

"Ah know that..." Applejack huffed and crossed her arms. "I just don't trust 'em."

The door opened again and Twilight walked in, irritation visible on her face as she slammed the door with her magic, drawing the attention of the others. She took a deep breath and placed a hoof on her chest, then exhaled as she extended the arm.

"I'm guessing that it didn't go to well?"

"Actually, it did Dash." Twilight sighed, her horn glowing before a small pop signified the arrival of another person. "The problem is, as usual-"

"You're all in over your heads huh?" Spike smiled a little, then whipped out a quill and a piece of parchment, and bowed theatrically "Awaiting your dictation, Princess."

Dear Princess Celestia,

Recently, as the letter I sent to you yesterday stated, there was an incident involving Rainbow Dash and two stallions. It has come to my attention however, that one of them *is not** a pony.*

He stated that he was given the body he, well, uses for the task of guarding us, the Element bearers, and has been unwilling to give us the identity of his 'Benefactor' without having You, Princess Luna, Cadence and Discord present.

He has also stated that he was brought here to guard the Element Bearers', and that is why he was, as he put it, captured.

I would like to note that he has trouble digesting strong alcohols, and the results are the following: blurred vision, possibly due to disruption of the nerves rather than the brain, disrupted motor control, and a lack of conscious movement.

Please respond quickly,

Princess Twilight Sparkle.

"Got that Spike?"

"Yep," he rolled the parchment before burning it to ash, the particles dispersing, "And that's that."

"Ok then, now we wait."

"Twilight, darling, do you know what this material is?" Rarity was holding the coat out, the mare rather irked at not knowing something related to her trade, "It feels like silk, but... it's, well, to strong."

"Let me see it."

"Well, what is it?"

"I think it's...No, that's not possible..."

"What isn't possible?"

"It's either spun silver, or it's..." Twilight held it up in her magic, the silvery surface flaring as light hit it, "something I've never read about..."

"Yeah," Spike said, smiling at Twilight, "I don't think that is possible."

His comment earned a laugh from Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, though Applejack and Rarity only smiled a little. Twilight blushed violently and stuttered out a half built reply before a sharp tapping sound made everypony jump. Looking at the glass wall, they saw Bone Wrecker facing them, his gaze seemingly piercing the one-way mirror and staring them down.

"I don't know if anyone can hear me, but," He scratched the base of his horns and chuckled, "I was wondering if I could get something to eat. I think I missed two day’s worth of meals at this point, so..."

He just smiled at the glass, showing wicked sharp teeth, canine to canine, and molars making up the back half.

"...Well, what do you think girls?"

"Starving him ain't exactly fair, besides," Rainbow smiled at the strange creature, who was now walking around the room in circles, making him rather less intimidating then he was earlier, "Murderer or not, I owe him one."

"Thanks for the sammich'."

"Welcome."

Two plates and two mugs of cider (non-alcoholic) sat on the table, between Rainbow Dash and Bone Wrecker, neither willing to talk. The food in question was a simple peanut butter and jelly, with a few daisies as well, and Bone Wrecker was genuinely thankful for the meal, although a few things kept him from enjoying Rainbows' company.

Do not hit on her, you'll end up getting mauled when they try to get at your past.

He took a bite out of his sandwich, avoiding eye contact with her, as though his life depended on it.

Hell, more than likely it did in a way.

"Hey, I got another question."

"Yeah?"

Please don't ask about-

"Why won't you look at me now?" She had a rather aggressive tone, as though to get a response out of anger. "Scared or something?"

...Might as well tell the truth, better now than later...Hopefully...

"...Yes, and with a good reason..."

"What?"

"...Are the others still on the other side of that glass?"

"I dunno, maybe," she shrugged, "but their probably getting lunch or something."

"..Ok, you are going to beat the ever-living-shit out of me after this, but I earned it," He finished his sandwich, and gulped, "I'm not from here, obviously, and where I'm from, this world was, well, a cartoon..."

"A cartoon?"

"Think a movie, but smaller, only twenty or so minutes long at a time, though one cartoon could have many twenty minute episodes..."

"Ok, so that matter's why?"

"...Rule Thirty Four."

"And that is..?"

"Well, to put it simply..." He gulped again, "You and the others were the main characters, so you had the most popularity, at least at the start." She smiled, obviously liking th idea of being famous without trying. "But that also means you six got the most abuse." Her smile dropped to a confused look. "Rule Thirty Four is this: if it exists, there is...porn...of it."

"What was that?"

“... Porn..."

"..."

"..."

"Let me guess, you were a big fan?"

"...Yes..."

"...Meh...”

You could hear a pin drop from a mile away, and Bone Wrecker's jaw actually hit the table as he almost flipped the table in his spastic twitch of shock. Rainbow didn't even look surprised, and she was even laughing at his expression.

"But, how...Why..?"

"Doesn't really surprise me." She shrugged before grabbing her mug and taking a drink. "Besides, I kinda like the idea."

“...Pinkie?”

“Pinkie.”

“...Ok, on a side note…” He coughed"...You like the fact that random alien life-forms across multiple dimension fornicate to images of you and your friends...?"

"To me, yeah, to them?" she took another drink, then hummed, "Weeelll, that's kinda their choice, though they probably won't be to happy about it."

"...I don't know whether I should hug you or try to kill myself..."

"Why?"

"One, they are going to kill me, or at the least Rarity, Applejack and Twilight will." He place his hand on his forehead, sighing as multiple scenarios' ran through his mind, "As for Pinkie, I have no idea how she'll take it, and Fluttershy..."

"...Yeah, that won't help your case..."

"I'm dead... or castrated...or both..."

Both of them remained silent, Rainbow because her slightly narcissistic tendencies had effectively been justified to one degree or another, and Bone Wrecker was moping about a rather painful mental image. Then it dawned on him, something that really should have been obvious if he was paying as much  he should have.

"Why do you like the idea of Rule Thirty Four?"

"I like it when people think I look good. Plus," she blushed a little, her wings opening slightly as she shifted in her seat, "most stallions kinda ignore me..."

"...It's the hair isn't it?"

She nodded.

"As much as I hate to say it, if you let Rarity take a go at you, it would really help in that department."

"How's that?" she scowled, shuddering at the thought of dress's and bows, "All it'll do is-"

"Make you less intimidating." Bone Wrecker moved cautiously, grabbing his own mug and gulping half of it down in an attempt to calm his still frazzled nerves. "Most stallions' don't like it when thier scared by the wom-Sorry, mare-their dating."

"What about athletes?"

"..Soarin?"

"How did-"

"He was a mentioned background character and was often paired with you in fan art." He shrugged. "I honestly couldn't tell you, he wasn't really shown all too often in the show."

"...Who was your favorite?"

"Hm?"

"Out of the six of us, who was your favorite?"

"Well, honestly?" He smiled at her, the sad expression giving her a good idea of whom, "It was you."

"You don't seem like my type."

"Hardly," he snorted, "I was an inventor, an architect, a builder!" His elation was evident, his voice growing louder as he spoke. "I had an empire of stores and factories at my command, and I’d done it on my own power!" He was smiling and genuinely happy, his gestures wild and filled with joy, but then his smile fell, and he seemed to lose a bit of the life that was present just seconds ago. "...But like a good failure, I lost everything trying to help the one person who cared about me..." He laughed a little. “That why it was you. No matter what you did, you succeeded, you won… You were both my inspiration and my…attraction

"Who?" Rainbow was surprised at the sudden shift in personality, eerily reminded of Pinkie when she was depressed. "Was it a friend?"

"I considered her my daughter, even though she wasn't flesh and blood..." He sighed, and crossed his arms on the table. "I built her, and brought her to life by complete luck." He smiled at a few memories, a single tear falling from his left eye. "No one cared about me. my family wanted money...my workers hated me for my wealth, despite me literally giving away thousands of dollars every year to help them." He huffed, burying his head in his arms. "Then she was born, and I finally had a friend. Somepony that I could call family..."

Rainbow lifted an arm and put a forehoof on Bone Wreckers' shoulder, unsure of how to respond.

"I don't know what to say..."

"You don't have to say anything." He lifted his head enough to look at her. "When you leave, can you turn the light off? I think it's almost midnight again, right..?"

"Yeah, I will."

She turned and walked to the door, and was about to leave when Bone Wrecker spoke up, barely a whisper.

"Right pocket, say 'Life tis' such a beautiful melody'. Just be sure to put it back..."

With that Rainbow Dash walked out, closing the door. She looked around in the hallway, before finding a small switch to the left of the door, and flipped it.

Walking into the other room, she found her friends arguing and bickering, until she closed the door. Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight glared at her, while Pinkie and Fluttershy both were blushing, turning their faces a vivid red. Ignoring them, she found Bone Wreckers coat and undid the buttons, looking at the right sides lining.

"What are yah doing with that...Things coat?" Applejacks voice had quite a bit of venom in it, and it didn't go unnoticed. "Not like a pervert like that could have-"

"Aj. Stop." Rainbow squinted at the lining, finding a small seam. "I know you don't like him, and probably hate him, but let’s wait to see what the Princess's do."

"And why's that?"

"He doesn't seem bad." She cut off her orange friend before she could voice her protest. "He had all the chances possible to do something to us, and he didn't," she smirked at Applejack, the grin having a wicked feel to it, "and let's not forget that magazine you were ranting about when you went digging through the barn."

At that, Applejack joined the ranks of Pinkie and Fluttershy, her face turning a dark crimson as she stuttered out an unintelligible reply, though the name 'Big McIntosh' was clearly audible.

"Really Rainbow!" Rarity had a slightly surprised look on her face, and was doing her best not to laugh, "Was that necessary?!"

"Give me a second and we'll find out..." Rainbow held the coat up and took a breath, "Life tis’ such-" the seam glowed, forming into a small pouch, still sealed, "a beautiful melody..."

The seam opened, a locket, about the size of a pocket watch, fell out, bouncing on the cloud floor. Setting the coat down with care, Rainbow picked up the locket, pressing a small button on the side. With a small CLICK the locket opened, revealing a picture of a pale skinned human with black hair, a coat and sunglasses, exactly like the ones now in their possession, as well as armor on his right forearm and hand, as well as a young, pure-white Pegasus filly with purple eyes and a straight, snow white mane and tail, both of them smiling at the camera with one arm around the other. A small cake with candles reading thirty one marked the occasion as the humans' birthday. But it was the engraving on the other side that caught Rainbows' eyes, the rose colored orbs growing wide at the message.

"Rainbow, dear?" Rarity looked over her friend’s shoulder, "What is-" she stopped when she saw the picture. "Oh my..."

"Somepony mind tellin' the rest of us what it is?'

"Dad," Rainbow began to read, squinting at the tiny engravings', "You made me by accident, but cared for me when I was small, as though I was your flesh and blood...

You fought for me when others said I was an abomination, and proved them wrong...

Even now, as you work day and night on all the toys and games you make and the company you made against everyone's expectations, you still try to spend time with me, and make me smile and laugh.

From, Your Daughter, Blank Melody, Pony Artificial Intelligence, Pegasus model, Mark 0, Singer and Musician.

P.S. Thank you dad! For everything!"

"His daughter was..." Applejack looked at the image, uncertainty plain in her eyes, "But she..."

"She was a golem," Twilight said, her voice almost inaudible, "This 'Blank Melody' was a living machine..."

"But then she wasn't real..."

"No." Rainbow shook her head, closing the locket before returning it to its resting place. "You said golems had souls, right Twilight?" The Alicorn nodded. "What would happen if he made a toy filly, like a stuffed animal, and it somehow got a soul?"

"I don't know..." She put a forehoof to her muzzled, closing her eyes as she went through her mind for an answer. "It could create a new life, and make the body more...alive than normal, since there would be so much energy compared to somepony who'd died already..."

She opened her eyes, and looked at the darkened room through the glass, Spike belching out a scroll just as she started to speak.

"Heh, sorry Twi'. I'll let you finish..."

"Thank you Spike." She took the letter in her magic and continued. "He would have made a pony, a living entity, with a body made of non-living material..." She opened the letter and read the single sentence written upon it's surface. "Girls, we need to go to Canterlot, and he's coming with us..."