Dear Celestia,
This will almost certainly be the longest report I ever send to you, as one would expect. Such aspects of life are not to be played with, and I will not hold back anything. I will tell you everything I saw and did, and I won't refrain from telling you even the darkest of moments. I suppose that is the right thing to do.
I have finally recovered enough to tell you what really happened, what actually transpired. I know that you asked me to tell you back at the funeral, but I was still reeling with the reality of the situation. It still hurts, oh God it hurts, but I think I can say it now, and no matter how bad the sting, you deserve to know.
It all started with the pranking spree that both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie got into. They had grown quite close over the last few years from their mutual love of a good practical joke, enjoying the humor that life offers us. Not everypony else, however, was quite so amused. After a while, the two of them made my studies quite difficult with their constant jokes and gags, and as much as I would have taken it well in my times off, I did not appreciate being distracted from my work.
Rather than being cruel, I instead chose to play them at their own game, using them against each other in a rather fun and harmless manner. I spoke with Pinkie first, asking her what pranks would work well on her accomplice. Considering the fact that they were both mutually inclined towards taking their own pranks on each other rather well, I supposed it was a good outlet and a better decision than petty revenge. You could say that I took things lightly, and most would say that that was a good thing. Perhaps it really was.
Pinkie has always been an excellent chef, even in regards to the blatant sweetness and diabetic tendencies of her various works. The same can be said for her chocolate chip brownies, and a simple use of ex-lax was more than enough to work as a great (and rather embarrassing) laxative. We made sure that nopony else touched the laden platter at the next random Pinkie Party we threw, and the incident went through without a hitch.
Two days later, Dash came to me requesting a chance at revenge. She knew that I had had a hoof in it, of course, but she'd already pranked me enough to consider us even. Pinkie, however, was not nearly so innocent in that regard. We spent hours trying to concoct a scheme that would make an even more epic and 'awesome' prank than the one we had just gone through, and after a while, Rainbow decided that we should simply return the favor.
I asked what the point in doing so would be when I considered the fact that it would simply be a repetition of what had already been done. Rainbow replied, of course, that we should simply double the amount of ex-lax in the brownies to double the prankiness.
"C'mon, Twi," she had said, looking at me with those adorable rose colored eyes, and what kind of mare like me could possibly resist? I knew, however, that doing so with a higher concentration of ex-lax would only give it away, especially since Pinkie would be expecting it. I tried to think of another way to do it, and I remembered something Shining had said about a prank he'd performed on one of his friends back in our foalhood.
Visine eye drops are a great way to work as an odorless, tasteless laxative with far more potency than any form of ex-lax or other such food. The only reason it wasn't really used as one is because frequent use can be harmful, but not from one dose. Or so I'd heard. I asked if it was safe, and Shining had said that it was, only causing bouts of diarrhea when ingested. As long as the pony in question kept themselves hydrated for the duration of the effects, they should be fine. At least, that's what we thought.
I had been told that it only took two or three drops in somepony's drink to make them excrete after a few minutes, and when I told Rainbow this, she asked that we at least double the quantity to make it work better. After we considered, we decided that a small vial of it would work even better.
The opportune time to lay out the prank came about soon enough, and we didn't even have to bake anything to complete the job. Just for good measure, we brought some ex-lax laden cookies along to throw her off the scent. She noticed it right away and refused to finish them, and we just laughed heartily. The party continued on as if nothing had happened, and we laughed and ate together.
The opportunity finally arose when Pinkie Pie got up to use the restroom, and we used that opportunity to slip the liquid into her drink. We'd been hitting the booze for a while and, while not quite drunk, we were more than a little buzzed. I took the bottle in my telekinetic grip, draining the entirety of it in her open beer. When she came back, we goaded her into chugging it, to which she naturally complied.
Rainbow and I both stood there, maintaining our best poker faces while we tried to judge whether or not she had tasted it, and when she seemed oblivious, we inwardly congratulated ourselves. We looked over at each other and smiled.
"Hey, Pinks," Rainbow called out, drawing the young mare's attention. "Did you notice anything odd about your drink?"
"Not really, why?"
"Well-"
Dash was cut off by an uproariously loud farting sound as globs of shit slopped out of Pinkie's anus and slapped unceremoniously on the floor. The entire room stood stock still for a moment, before busting up in laughter to the absurdity of the situation. I suppose the alcohol was more than enough to make us forget about how utterly disgusting Pinkie's lack of control over her sphincter was.
"Oh, that look on your face is priceless!"
"Yeah, priceless," Pinkie replied, trying to smile despite the fact that her hair was straightening out. I was sure that she was butthurt, but at the same time I had faith that she would get over it. After all, what's wrong with a little prank? That's when things started to go horribly wrong.
"Bluh!"
The pink mare vomited all over the floor in front of her, cutting off the laughter of everypony except Rainbow. A second upheaval stopped the cyan mare as well, and we all suddenly donned a very concerned look on our faces. The third attempt at vomiting resulted in nothing more than a dry heave, all the material in her digestive system already having been expelled from her body. She started to shake in place, looking up at me with an almost panicked look.
"What's going-bluh- wrong with me, Twilgiht?!"
"I-I don't-"
I was cut off yet again as her body violently convulsed with the next attempt to vomit. Her legs gave out, causing her to plop down in her own vomit and shit as she lost her balance. I rushed over to her side along with Applejack, everypony else standing back to give us space. The moment I got to her side, I nearly vomited myself.
Her entire body was starting to get covered in sweat, and mucous was draining from her nose and mouth at an astounding rate. She was soiling herself, but that was the least of our worries right then. Pinkie's eyes were failing to focus, and a small stream of blood was starting to lace itself within the slime dripping from her muzzle.
"Why does it...hurt so...much?" she muttered, and I felt something inside myself tear apart at that moment. She then faded out of consciousness, her eyes mostly closed as her body started to convulse.
"Quick, Twi! You got to think of somethin'!" Aj shouted, a look of utter desperation in her eyes. I looked around in shock, not entirely sure of what to do and barely managing to keep myself from a complete panic attack. I was about ready to run out of the room when I remembered the CPR we had been taught back at the College.
"Twilight, fucking do something!" Aj hollered at me, tears streaming down her eyes as she tried to get me out of my stupor. It worked.
"Right, pull her up and let me get my hooves around her midriff."
Applejack didn't even bother questioning why, simply working on instinct at that point. To a degree, so was I. She passed the convulsing form over to me, and I wrapped my forelegs around the pink mare's body. I started going through the Heimlich Maneuver, not even sure it was of any relevance. I had to try...
"It's not working, Twi! You got to go harder!"
"Don't you think I'm fucking trying?!"
"You got to-"
"Shut the fuck up!! I can't deal with all you ponies at once, Goddamnit!"
By now, tears were running down everypony's faces. Fluttershy had her head hidden in Rarity's mane, and Rainbow was staring distantly at a random wall, looking faded at best. Spike stood over near the doorway to my room, and he was openly crying the entire time. Reality itself seemed to slow down as I tried my best to revive Pinkie Pie.
I tried everything, from laying her down on her back and slamming her chest with my hooves to start her heart again, to attempts at mouth-to-mouth resuscitation regardless of the viscous liquid already dribbling out. Nothing worked. I kept trying, even nearly half an hour after she was already truly dead. I just couldn't quite make myself stop.
In the end of things, it was Applejack that finally managed to pull me away from her. I struggled back against her, desperately trying to pull back, to continue to help my friend, to fix what I had accidentally caused.
"Twilight, stop!" she said, pinning me to the ground. Had I had a clearer mind, I would simply have used magic to get out of her grasp, but at the time, my mind was far too unfocused to manage even the most basic of spells had magic even come to mind. Aj shook me, the orange mare trying to bring out of my state.
"She's gone, Twi. She's gone. You can't do nothin' about it, okay?"
"B-but-"
"Listen to me, Twilight. If she could at all be saved at this point, I wouldn't be telling you this. She's as much a friend of mine as yours, and it pains me to see this. You've got to let go, Sugarcube, she's beyond us now. What I am saying is the honest truth!"
'What I'm saying is the honest truth.'
That's what Applejack always said when she meant something, and she almost never used it, regardless of the trust everypony gave her. If she said it, then she meant it. With a defeated sigh, I stopped struggling. Aj slowly got up off of me, tears streaming down her cheeks as she helped me back to my hooves.
"What do we do now, Applejack?"
"I don't know, Sugarcube. I don't know."
Soon enough, we had a doctor and the police over, and the body was promptly removed. I knew the officers by name, so they didn't assume that it was intentional. They knew me better than that. The coroner soon followed, and I was led to the morgue while they investigated the validity of the body's identity.
As it turns out, Visine is not a substance to be trifled with, nor is it at all designed for consumption. The ingredients include potassium chloride and tetrahydrozoline hydrochloride which is a vasoconstrictor, and therefore constricts the eye's superficial blood vessels. Consumption is therefor lethal in doses of more than a couple drops, and even that can be very harmful.
Pinkie died by asphixiation and heart failure, her entire system having shut down around the flow of the toxin. What finally finished her off was the mucous in her lungs. That's what really got to me, the fact that I saw her drown in her own snot from what we had done...
I spent the next week isolating myself on a daily basis, as I am sure you are aware of. I also doubt that you'd be surprised that I almost hung myself. I, a simple mare who had always thought of herself as a good pony, had killed her own best friend by not even bothering to research the consequences of my actions before doing so.
The first couple of days were the strangest. I sat there, thinking of the fact that Pinkie was dead, and it would hit me. She wasn't coming back. I'd never see her again, and there was no stopping that. I knew that all of those parties, all those times that she would light up a room when she entered, or the times that she would mysteriously appear in my room in the middle of the night when I was crying to cheer me up, all the tender moments that we shared together were gone, just gone. What's more, all those moments were gone because of me, and there is no bringing them back.
I would stare at the wall much like Rainbow, and I'd think of this while stewing it over in my head before my mind would wander back to some trivial topic that had caught my eye, forgetting for a blessed moment about why I had suffered so. It was a true relief while it lasted, but eventually my mind would drift off to something regarding that beautiful pink mare, and I'd get up as if to go see her, wondering why I hadn't already until I remembered what had just happened.
Two days after her death, I went to take a look at her room. As I walked into the shop, the quiet hustle and bustle of the room suddenly slowed to a complete standstill as everypony fell silent, just quietly staring at me with dead, impassive eyes. They knew who was responsible for killing her, and I doubt that they will ever forgive me.
"M-mister Cake?" I asked, looking at the downtrodden stallion as he stood at the counter. "I-I'm sorry."
He looked over at me, not with any sort of anger, but more of pity. "I know," he said. "I understand. You can take a look at her belongings if you like. The reading of her Will will be after the funeral, though I doubt that it really matters to you right now. You're here for sentimental reasons anyways. Go on, it's okay." The orange stallion put on the kindest smile he could muster as he motioned for the stairs, his face a sad pitiable thing.
I trotted past him, not looking back as I slowly walked up the stairway. Each step closer I drew to her room felt like another weight was slapped onto my back, slowing me down. I stopped right in front of her room. The doorknob looking up at me, just within reach and yet so far away. I considered for a moment before summoning the courage to turn that knob and enter her room.
What I saw around me was...exactly what I'd seen two days earlier. Nothing was moved save that Gummy had been moved from the room for better care. Everything was just as it had been, the entire place looking like a spent party, streamers and confetti everywhere. I expected Pinkie to jump out from some corner or other at any moment with a shouted "Surprise!!", but she didn't.
I fell on my knees looking around me at the chaotic perfection that surrounded me, and I wept. I wept at the memories of my time at ponyville, of meeting her for the first time with all her crazy antics and spastic nature. I wept at her smile, I wept at her laughter. I wept at her ability to open me up, to see the world in a lighter, more amiable sense. I wept more at that moment than I had in my entire life.
The next day fared no better. It was the day of her funeral, and I spent nearly two hours with Rarity as I agreed to dress as regally as possible. It may have been the funeral of a party pony like Pinkie, but even that adorably crazy mare enjoyed to play 'dress up' at times, so why shouldn't I? The dress came out beautifully, and Rarity and I trotted out of the Boutique without a single moment to look back.
We got to the cemetery a few hours before the official funeral was to start, and we were among the few allowed to view the corpse, as you know, along with the Cakes and her family. We took turns, going in to the room in separate groups. When it was my turn to enter, I did not expect what I saw.
There she lay, looking as pristine and yet wild as ever, a small smile donning her face. It looked almost as if she were simply dozing, about to sit up and say "Hiya!" at any moment. I didn't say anything, simply standing beside her coffin as I quietly cried. I wished so hard that she would get up, that by some miracle that she was somehow alive. I begged the world for her return, pleaded, cried, screamed, threatened, and urged that she come back, all from the confines of my mind. Nothing happened.
I had been told before that the only people who truly know the loss of one dear to them are those that have, and it was at that moment that I realized how right they were. As I shuffled out of the room, barely standing at all, some of those there murmured their condolences, idly commenting that she was in a better place in an attempt to console me. It didn't work. All I felt inside was...emptiness. Yes, that is the best word, emptiness. I was hollow inside, like a piece of my heart had been carved out to leave a gaping wound that could never fully heal. My soul yearned for something that could possibly fill the gap, hoping beyond hope for some measure of solace, but it found nothing. Nopony is truly replaceable, no matter how closely or distantly you were connected to them.
It is only after they are gone that you truly realize how much you're going to miss them. Pinkie had so much going for her, the beginnings of a true life, the chance for love, life, family, children, and eventually even grandchildren. Instead, she died with her friends, helpless as everything she had been, everything she was becoming, was ripped away suddenly by the callous hands of fate in the forms of a mistake.
Pinkie Pie was twenty two years old at the time.That was how long it took for her to grow from the foal she was born as to the amazing mare she had become. Twenty two years...and it all ended in the course of a few minutes. Twenty two years to build, minutes to destroy. One requires patience, diligence, perseverance, and love, while the other requires only ignorance to end it all...
The funeral itself was largely uneventful. Her family bore the casket to its resting place, we all said a few prayers to the God we know, her life was told in a generic summary that did it no justice, and then she was promptly buried as we left. I stood by the grave for a few minutes after everyone else left, looking for the words to say what I felt, but I could find none to give. Words simply could not suffice.
I was just about to leave when I felt another form move in alongside of me. I looked over to find Rainbow looking at the stone, no longer looking sad or happy, just tired. She stood there for several moments, and then let out a long sigh.
"So that's it, then. She's just...gone. Just like that, huh?"
Rainbow looked down at the grave for a moment longer, and then her legs gave out. She fell onto her knees in front of the tomb, lifting her head up accusingly at the sky before belting out the most heartwrenching wail I have ever heard. Tears started to flow freely from her beautiful rose red eyes, dropping silently on the grass as she hung her head in defeat.
"I didn't even get to say goodbye."
I moved closer, pulling her into the tightest embrace I could. She nuzzled me, moving her face into my shoulder, crying like a young foal for all her worth. I soon found myself joining her, and we let it out together. We were the ones that killed her, and we were the ones who had to faces the consequences, but at least we had each other.
The sun was just about to set, spreading the world around us with a golden glow as we stood up. We trotted quietly away from the grave, not bothering to say a single word. All that needed saying had already been said, and there was no point in repeating ourselves.
I woke up the next morning to find the cyan mare nuzzled up against me, finding comfort in the embrace of another. I lay there, thinking back to how many times I had wanted her to be there, to hold her, and now the opportunity finally arose. It was truly a pity that it was the death of a dear friend that did it, and despite how much I cared for Rainbow, it was and is no consolation prize.
She woke up a while later, her cute little snore fading off as she returned to consciousness. She looked up at me, her red eyes meeting my own. We looked at each other for a moment longer before her head started to move forward, her eyes slowly closing as we locked muzzles. We gently ran our tongues against one another, holding on for as long as we could before we finally separated. We both knew that it wasn't about Pinkie, or that it had to do anything wit our sorrow. It was my first kiss. I dare say it hasn't been my last!
With that, I finish this letter, Princess. I have to wrap this up since I have a date in like half an hour, so I wish you a great night. In regards to the lesson learned here, I suppose this is the most important one I have learned in my life: Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes we can hurt ourselves and those we care about in one careless action, ending what we spent years creating in the blink of an eye. We can't reverse it, and the pain never truly ends, but that doesn't mean we should give up. Sometimes a storm can strike us unexpectedly at the worst times in our lives, but we just have to keep moving, knowing that it will eventually pass us by. The sun will rise regardless, and it is up to us to weather the storm to watch it rise.
With Love and Certainty,
Your Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle.
