True Love Does Not End With Mere Death

"I know I love her a lot, but why?" Celestia thought, looking at the photo of her love.

"Why can't I bring myself to be with her?"

She had asked Luna how to admit her love for the mare she loved. And the answer was simple and obvious enough, tell her the truth on how Celestia felt for her. To say the truth, the mare she loved...Celestia had loved her for quite some time, even if she did not notice it. Lately, Celestia had even been dreaming of her at night. It was a wonderful feeling, for she had never felt such affection for somepony for a few hundred years, and even princesses needed love. But somehow, this was different.

She could not bear the fact that she would leave her someday. Previously, she would never have thought about such things. "Live life to the fullest. Love while you can, so you will not regret it later on." Celestia liked that quote. It was what Celestia followed for the past millennia. She loved, then watched the pony she loved die. And this horrible cycle continued for many years, torturing her for an eternity. But she was used to it, wasn't she? For she was an immortal after all. She had watched countless ponies die, and hardly shed a tear, save for her loved ones or friends.

This mare, however, made her feel otherwise. She was so special to Celestia in that way. She was the only pony that made her so worried before, that she would not survive through the ravages of time like Celestia. That Celestia could never once again be with her. To comfort her. To touch her. To love her.

Celestia could not help crying. Why was it so hard for her? Couldn't Celestia just admit her love for her? She was so, so afraid of the grief and sadness she would feel when her love passed on. But her every instinct told her to admit her love, and they might live happily. She felt her heart wrenching, and her tears flowed even faster. "Why...why must she make it so complicated for me?"

"Oh my gosh. I am so sorry, Princess Luna! I didn't mean to shout at you! I'm so sorry!" Twilight literally screamed.

"Don't worry about it. Though, I must admit, your reaction was a little...surprising." Luna perked her eyebrows.

"I didn't mean to...I have never thought that anyone would love me..." Twilight whispered.

"Their loss then." Luna snickered.

Inside she leapt with joy. Twilight was going to accept her love! She could be with Twilight for her rest of her life. She would not feel lonely anymore at night. She could have fun with a mare she loved. She could...

"I'm sorry, Princess Luna, but...I need some time to consider what you just said..." Twilight interrupted.

Luna was crestfallen, and it obviously showed with the frown on her face.

"I'm sorry! I didn't want to, but...I need time to think this through. I mean, it is a major thing for me..."

Luna perked up a little. "Don't be silly, Luna. It's not like she rejected you outright! You still have a decent, no wait, big chance at gaining her love!" she thought to herself.

"Sure, Twilight. It must be big news for you, I'm sorry if I was too hasty. Just don't take too long..." Luna's smile was back.

"Yes, Princess Luna."Twilight smiled.

"Please, just call me Luna."

"Yes, Luna." Twilight chuckled.

Much to Luna's surprise, Twilight walked forward and gave a light peck on her lips.

Luna blushed so brightly she could swear it showed on her dark fur.

When Luna went away, Twilight ran as fast as she could back to her home. "I can't believe I just did that! Oh my gosh, what was I thinking!" Her mind raced as she rushed back home, her face red with embarrassment. " What would Luna think of me?"

She opened the door to her home and immediately slammed it close. The door closed with a deafening thud, but Spike was still taking his afternoon nap, and pretty much could not be woken up. Still, Twilight went to check on Spike, and he was obviously sleeping. So she went to her room and sat on her bed, recalling what had just happened.

She blushed. She did just kiss Luna. It was driven by some sort of primal lust inside of her, something that craved love. For Twilight never did find time to love somepony, and even though she did not show it, deep down she was sad. Her friends, at least, had found their loves. She was the only one left, and it weighed constantly in her heart.

But...she had never had such thoughts about Luna...she loved her as a friend, and nothing more. Was she willing to be with somepony she did not love? Could she be happy with Luna? She was lost in thought.

Celestia decided to use the old trick- write a letter to her that she would never send. For she could not bear to love her. To be with her. So she decided to express all her feelings into a letter, and hoped that she would forget all about the mare she loved.

And so she started writing. She wrote down all her thoughts, her feelings, all in one letter. It took a few hours, and when she was done, she placed it under her pillow, which was haphazardly located on the bed. For her bed was in a mess, after nights of thinking and dreaming about her love. She would unconsciously squirm at night, and wake up the next morning finding that the bed had been messed up. And she would never tell anybody this, but... she cried at night. Torn between wanting her...and not willing to.

She sat on her bed, her thoughts wondering on what to do. She needed some relief from writing that letter.

It was exhausting, to spill out all of what she felt in words. So she planned to ask her student in for a study session. Twilight...she always seemed to know Celestia's troubles, and could always manage to make her feel relaxed.

" Princess Celestia? Are you okay?" Twilight asked, genuinely concerned. Her mentor looked out of sorts, and her eyes betrayed a sense of sadness.

"...Yes. Thank you for your concern, but I assure you, I am fine."

Celestia wasn't even looking at Twilight anymore, and she looked away into the balcony, to where the sun had set. She didn't even bother with the ceremony of lowering the sun, and had lowered it right there, which panicked Twilight even more.

Princess Celestia was never this...troubled before. It frightened Twilight. What happened to her?

Just when Twilight wanted to speak out, Celestia interrupted, "I'm sorry Twilight, but I have some...things I have to do. I have to leave you for a while here, if you don't mind."

"Sure...I guess."

Celestia flashed her a sad smile and walked away out of her private bedchambers.

Twilight sat there, her mind spinning. This was weird. Something must have happened to Celestia. She seemed extremely distracted, and during her study session...Celestia hardly looked at Twilight. It was like...she couldn't bear to look at Twilight. And Twilight felt sad. Was Celestia disappointed at her?

She placed the book in her hooves away and sighed. She walked over to her bed, which she had noticed was a huge mess, pillows strewn about, her blanket literally on the floor. She decided to clean it up. After all, it was the least she could do. So she started clearing up the mess, arranging them properly.

And then she noticed a letter under one of the pillows. It looked ordinary, and wasn't even sealed, which could only meant that whoever wrote this had only recently completed it, and might have been in a hurry. She knew it was wrong, but she couldn't resist the urge to look at its contents.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle

All those years of nurturing you, shaping you into the mare you are today, it makes me contented. You have helped me so much. Defeating Nightmare Moon, managing the winter wrap-up, and so many more... And all I can say is I am happy and proud of you. All those years of teaching you, taking you in as my student. I have never regretted those decisions I made, decisions that had helped to shape both you and me to who we are today.

But somehow, watching you grow as time passed, as you turned into a beautiful, mature mare...My feelings for you got more than just pride and happiness. I realized...I had fallen in love with you. And I was excited at first. I had wanted to declare my love for you. But then I remembered...to love you, to be with you for the rest of your life...it meant that I would suffer when you finally left me. It scares me. I had never loved anypony so deeply before, never truly gave all my love. But you...I love you too much...and I am afraid that I would dive too deep...and lose myself. I love you so much, Twilight Sparkle."

Tears started to flow from her eyes. Twilight sobbed faintly, and forced herself to continue reading.

"But I cannot bring myself to tell you that. For I am afraid...what would I do, if you inevitably left me? Even I would not know. Would I destroy Equestria in a rage? Would I become insane? To love you...means having to lose you too. And I will never, ever, be able to bring myself to that. I love you so much, Twilight Sparkle. And even though I know you will never know, I will say it again. I love you Twilight Sparkle. Always, eternally, forever. Till the end of time.

I love you.

Celestia"

Twilight cried freely now, her tears staining the bed. She sobbed hysterically. She never thought, never realized...

She slid the letter back under the pillow, and teleported away, back to her home. She could not bear to stay there, to see Celestia.