Ghosts of the Past

CHAPTER 9 - Blood Brothers

Date: 22nd of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa.

I reached Appleloosa while Louis was resting in a hospital bed. Nurse Sunheart took good care of him during the time he stayed there, and he already was in a much better shape. Although he still had a partially petrified leg, his wounds were patched up and mostly cicatrized. He looked well fed and rested too, thanks to the semi-magical intravenous drips they had.

Since he was asleep when I reached Appleloosa, I talked to Nurse Sunheart for a while.

She told me that classical unicorn healing magic was powerless against what petrified his leg: it merely slowed down the propagation. When I explained what happened in the tunnels, it turned out she didn’t even know what a basilisk was. We tried several other remedies at random, but it always held the same results as the poultice and used rarer ingredients.

By the end of the day, I received a message from Mercury.

“Watching you searching for a cure is hilarious, but it’s a waste of time and it would be counterproductive to let Louis die. So I’ll be concise: There is no way to fully heal this in this country. The only thing that can completely eradicate basilisk venom on this planet is the holy water of the Healing Shrine, located in the south of the Black Marsh. You have to bring him there and make him bathe in the pool, but he must also drink some of the water. That way, he will be fully cleaned of any illnesses and curses, including the petrifying venom. Don’t disappoint me, or you’ll regret it. You know how I am and what I do when people fail me.”

I tried to think of any possible alternative solution, and asked Mercury about one. “Can’t I just make him a new body and tie his soul to it, the same way I create bodies for myself when jumping through dimensions?”

“You think I didn’t imagine that possibility? When I brought it here, I prevented his soul from being able to bond with any other body. If he loses that body, he dies. You can hold on to his soul as much as you want afterwards, he’ll be dead anyway. Now, stop sending letters. Go to the Black Marsh, presto.

“PS: Don’t forget about that pain-induced coma that might happen if you tell too much. You were awfully close to that ‘too much’ with your little allusion to his sock drawer.”

Resigned to follow his orders, I did not answer and sat on the chair near my brother’s bed. He was a perfectly normal Earth pony, albeit very tall compared to others. Every other pony was a midget compared to him. With a nice set of fake wings and a fake horn, he could easily pass for an Alicorn. That parallel also made me realize how tall my body was: I was slightly taller than my brother on Earth, so I'd undoubtedly be taller on Equis too.

Considering this, I noticed that I didn't take time to look at my new body. Consequently, I decided to take a look at myself with the mirror located in the bathroom nearby.

A few seconds later, I had my answer: I was a very tall pony, as expected, and I wore a costume that was exactly the same as the one I had in the Soul Dimension as expected. The only true differences were due to the ponies' different physionomy: the mask was different, although still as scary as ever; and the scythe was further up on the leg, so I could walk without it constantly hitting the ground.

On a side note, a slightly unnerving smoke cloud was surrounding me, and it seemed as alive as myself. I understood why everyone feared me.

Immediately after I went back in the room with Louis, I realized that here on Equis, Louis was a simple Earth pony. And that meant he was deprived of magic, except for a few things related to growing plants. But that was not interesting.

The only source of magic that could be useful in dangerous situations was me, and I had a limited supply. That meant I was bound to follow him everywhere. Otherwise, a single second of inattention and he’d end up dead, especially where we were going. And on top of all that, he didn’t know anything about that world, and I wouldn’t have the right to tell him everything I knew because that would lead to Earth-related talks.

“At least I’m not the only human here anymore…” I thought, reminiscing about my pseudo-life in Ponyville.

Letting him heal in peace, I left the infirmary and walked through the city with my two pairs of legs, gazing into the distant sunset.

A long-forgotten growl reminded me of a recent change. My now physical stomach needed something to dissolve, and I decided to honor its demands. However, the only person who would give me anything here would be Jolly Jester, the local “friends-with-everyone” guy.

The door to Jester’s house pleasantly creaked when I opened it with my hoof instead of pushing it with telekinesis. Being able to feel things was reassuring, even if it was only through a glove. The sledge creaked behind me, grating on the floor.

“Oh hey, Phantom! Where have you been? Notes told me you were gone for a while but I didn't think it would be this long! You didn’t even tell me!”

“Sorry buddy, I had a very urgent problem of diamond dog infestation. However, now I have another one, and I need your help.”

His eyes instantly filled with sparks, he blathered about an epic quest to fight dragons and find a legendary sword at the other end of the world. That dream was interrupted when I plugged his mouth with my hoof.

“Dude, I’m hungry. That’s the only problem I have right now. Oh and, the sleigh outside carries things that belong to me; I’ll just put it in that closet later if you don’t mind.”

His pupils narrowed for a second and came back to normal before he exclaimed: “Hutsh wunurfl! Uhr nushughush uhnnimuhr!”

Picturing him wearing a gas mask and carrying a flamethrower, I laughed a bit and pulled my hoof back.

He repeated: “That’s wonderful! You’re not a ghost anymore!”

“Well I’m still kind of a ghost, but sometimes I can have a body now.”

“We have to celebrate this! Let’s party!”

“I don’t think anyone will want to come…”

“Oh… Yeah, you’re right. People here still don’t really like you.  I don’t know why, though! You’re funny.”

“Everyone’s funny, according to your standards…”

“It’s not true! For example, Mister Saltworthy isn’t funny.”

“Give me another example.”

“Uh… Yeah, right. Okay. You win. So what do you want to eat?”

“I could go for a good old steak with fries, but ponies don’t eat meat and cows are sentient beings in Equestria…”

“Heh... I'll just take some fries, if you have any.”

“Okay, I'll do that right away. Oh and, what’s under that mask anyway? I wanna see your face!”

Without any warning, his hooves grabbed the sides of my mask and he pulled, pushing on my torso with his back legs. His weight pushed the air out of my lungs and I had to run into a wall to make him stop for a few seconds. The mask didn’t move an inch, so he decided to pull the hood instead. But it didn’t move either.

Only yelling could get him out of his whim. “Stop that, you idiot! It doesn’t work! You’re strangling me!”

Seeing his efforts were useless, he jumped back and looked at me, his hoof under his chin.

“Hmmph. That’s strange. How are you even supposed to eat with this?”

“Uh… Actually that’s a very good question. I didn’t think of that yet.”

I touched my mask with my hoof and tried to find a lock or button. But there was none. After all, Mercury’s orders were clear: no one was to see my true face.

“Well, shit. Sorry, but I have to send a message to someone right now. See you in a few minutes.”

I put my sledge in the closet, leapt to the commode where I knew Jolly stored a few scrolls and quills, took enough to write and ran for the door the best I could with two pairs of legs and a much less slender body.

“I’ll prepare a few fries in the meantime, friend!”

“Yeah, do that, it’ll be great. Thanks!”

After exiting the house, I sat on a wooden barrel between two other houses nearby and wrote my message. “How am I supposed to eat with my mask?”

Immediately, the answer appeared. “Simply cram some food through the holes.” Following the text, a crude depiction of a wrinkly face with an awfully large smile was at the bottom of the letter.

“Seriously, how do I do?”

“Your mask is like a wall. Make your food pass through it, that’s all.”

“So eating consumes my magic reserves? That sucks!”

“Indeed. But the mask does that automatically for you since it’s got a particular relation with your body, and it really spends a negligible amount of magic anyway. If you consciously desire to eat something, it’ll be able to pass through the mask, as well as the thing holding that food, whether that is your hoof or a fork.”

“Can I pass my hoof through my mask for other reasons then?”

“As long as you think about going through the mask, it is possible.”

Having all the answers needed, I folded the paper and burned it with a small fire spell before going back to Jolly Jester’s house. The smell of fried potatoes filled the house. Breathing with delight, I walked to the kitchen and found Jester humming in front of his cooking apparel.

A few minutes later, everything was ready. I set the table and waited for Jolly Jester to bring the potatoes. When he walked in the dining room, carrying two plates filled with little mountains of fries, I couldn’t help but to salivate.

“And here you go! Enjoy your meal, Phantom!” he said, putting a plate in front of me.

“Thanks, dude! You too!”

Picking the first few fries with my hoof was something strange. The fries stuck to the outline, as if it was a magical field of some sort that allowed me to glue things to my body at will.When I looked at the fries sideways, they weren't in contact with my hoof itself, but really only with its outline. Yet, I could feel their heat and texture. It seemed that ponies had a sixth sense somehow; a sixth sense that allowed them to feel their outline and use it to manipulate things. For a human such as I, it was confusing, to say the least.

Slowly, I moved my foreleg upwards, imagining what could happen when the fries would come near my face. I heard a tiny whisper emanating from it. The fries encountered no solid obstacle, and ended their journey in my open mouth.

Never, have I eaten fries this intense in the past. During the entire meal, the salt grains ran on my tongue, dancing a taste gig with the potatoes, while my teeth mashed the crispy parts of the golden-clad vegetables. I could feel my tongue slightly burned by the fries, but I couldn’t care less. It was the most satisfying meal I had in my entire life.

Besides me, Jolly Jester was eyeing my hoof, going through my mask thanks to a tiny black cloud. “Uh-uh.  So that’s how it works. Well then! What do you think?”

“I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t eaten in so long or if you’re an awesome cook, or even if it’s Equestrian food that’s so tasty, but it was awesome.”

“Thanks for the semi-compliment! Have some more, then!” the pony said, smiling, while he gave me his plate, a few fries still sitting on it.

“Ah, no, thanks, it’s too much already. I don’t want to feel like I ate a brick.”

“Suit yourself,” Jolly said, taking his plate back.

Walking to the door, I told him: “I’ve got someone to see at the infirmary. I’ll go there for a while. Don’t wait for me!”

“Oh, it’s that new pony Sheriff Silverstar was rambling about? Okay. See you later!”

The nurse was already in the infirmary when I reached it. According to her, Louis woke up while I was gone, but he fell asleep again shortly. She didn’t understand what he said.

“Well I guess I’ll be there for a while.”

Leaving me in the room with her patient, she left the infirmary for the night, as I watched the sun reddening in the horizon through the window.

Thinking about my magical speech impediment, I tried to think about what Mercury would deem acceptable. In fear of another blackout, I decided to avoid telling absolutely anything related to me.

For the first time in more than a year, I felt my body trying to get me to sleep. My eyes shut themselves down, and I silently delved into the blackest of dreamless nights.

Date: 23rd of August, very early morning, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa’s infirmary.

A familiar voice woke me up with incomprehensible words.

[“Shut up, Louis. I’m trying to sleep.”]

I felt my head spin back into the land of dreams.

[“You idiot! Help me! Do something! And why do you even know my name?”]

All the events that occurred during the previous year sprung off of my memories and hit my mind like a supersonic jet would hit a bird. I suddenly sat up in surprise. [“Gah! Yeah, yeah, sorry. So, how are you?”]

[“Huh? ’How are you’? What kind of question is that?”] he said, holding his head with both hooves. [“Someone did something weird to my bike while I was on the road, then I had an accident and probably fell into a coma, and then I suddenly am a damn horse midget for no reason, in a world filled with all sorts of shitty horse midgets and crazy talking dogs living in tunnels. I AM NOT OKAY! EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE!”]

He silently looked at me for a few seconds. [“And in the middle of this cursed coma-induced nightmare, there’s a horse midget dressed as a bad guy from a Batman movie! WHY! I DON’T GET IT! THIS DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!”]

[“Calm down… Let me explain, okay? I’m your guide from earlier, remember me?”]

[“It’s YOU! Okay, now I’m mad. You left me all alone in a desert!”]

[“I already told you: I had almost no magic power left, and it was hard to talk. Plus, you’re here now. It’s fine!”]

[“No, it’s NOT! I’m in a cartoon, for fuck’s sake! So explain, and start with the beginning. Why. Am. I. In. A. Cartoon!”]

[“This isn’t technically a cartoon. And by the way, you’re not in a coma. This is reality. It’s just not the reality you’re used to… Cartoons are nothing but other universes, separate from yours and somehow independent. Although I’m not sure myself if your original universe is involved in the creation of this one, I’m sure there are ‘higher-ranked’ universes; and they are ‘above’ the one you lived in, in the sense that your universe originated from them somehow.”]

[“Well that’s really great! My reality isn’t really reality! What else?”]

[“Some of the beings you know as gods have the ability to go through the universes and carry people with them. This is what happened to you, and now you’re here. Why this universe in particular, I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. And, for information, the god who brought you here is Mercury, god of thieves, travelers, merchants, boundaries; and leader of souls to the afterlife. He is my master, unfortunately for reasons I cannot disclose. My primary task for now is to assist you in your quest for a shrine located in the Black Marsh that will heal your leg.”]

[“Yeah, okay, I’ve been brought here by a Greek god. Whatever.”]

[“No, he’s Roman.”]

[“He can go fuck himself, for all I care.”]

[“Stop swearing. You know what your mother would say.”]

[“Tsk. Whatever. Now, tell me about that leg. Why can’t I feel anything back there?”]

[“You were almost eaten by a basilisk.”]

[“Wait, what? A basilisk, as in ‘a fucking giant magic snake of death’? That was what I saw in that cave?”]

[“Yeah. Mostly.”]

[“Great. Give me a Nimbus 2000 and I’ll just fly away from this place.”]

[“That doesn’t work in this universe. Anyway. You were almost eaten by that basilisk, but I managed to drag you far enough. The problem is that during my fight with him, some of his venom went inside your wounds and it petrified a part of your leg.”]

[“I’m becoming a statue. Wonderful.  But… What happened to you during the fight? You weren't there when I woke up.”]

[“He ate me.”]

[“Hahaha. I think you look pretty good for someone who’s been eaten by a giant snake,”] Louis said with a smirk.

[“This isn’t my body from back then. The previous body I had was damaged beyond any hope of repair, so I made a new one.”]

Louis looked at me, amazed and incredulous at the same time. [“Can’t you just do that for me and be done with this petrification thing then? Better even, why don’t you just make a human body for me? I don’t want to have four legs!”]

[“I can’t. Mercury prevents me to.”]

He punched the bed in anger. [“Fuck this bastard, seriously! Why does he do that?”]

[“As far as I know, gods do that for fun. But there’s also another reason. A game is currently taking place here, with big rewards at stake; and several gods of various civilizations and eras all brought humans in this world, so they could be their champions. The rules are fairly simple. And the last one whose human is alive wins the game. Since you’re here, you seem to be Mercury’s champion. ”]

[“Why me? I’m not a hero! I didn’t even reach the age of majority!”]

[“There are even younger humans here. And, you know, Mercury’s plans go far beyond the idea of winning the game normally. I don’t know what he’s trying to pull off, but he’s not doing things like other gods do.”]

[“Great. So let’s assume you’re right and this is not a dream. I’m just a clueless tool, in the middle of the shittiest universe ever, with a god-damned petrified leg, and I have to obey some bitchy retarded guy from Roman legends because he has magical powers.”]

[“That’s about it.”]

[“Fantastic. It totally doesn’t sound like I’m high on morphin in an ambulance. Now what do I do about that leg?”]

[“First thing to do is to stop swearing, it won’t heal it faster. To come back on the topic, in theory, the pony civilization has enough knowledge to heal petrified people, but they don’t know anything about basilisks. So the only solution we have is to go to the Black Marsh.”]

[“That doesn’t sound very appealing. And, uh, what will happen if I don’t go there?”]

[“You’ll die. And I don’t want that to happen.”]

[“Okay. Now I’m scared.”]

[“No need to. I’ll guide you to safety. But I can only do that if you listen to me… Right, Mr I-wanna-go-north?”]

Embarrassed, he smiled. [“Yeah, right… If we’re going to travel together, though, I’d like you to tell me what’s your name. If you have one, that is.”]

[“The people around here call me Phantom.”]

[“Then, Phantom it will be. And you already know my name… How is that possible, by the way?”]

A short blank in the conversation ensued.

[“Tch. Mercury told me, duh!”]

[“Of course.”]

A sweat drop rolled on my temple. “That was close.”

[“So… What are we going to do now? I hate being stuck in a bed.”]

[“I know…  I-I hate it too, I mean. Well, uh, how about I get you out of here and we go buy ourselves a pair of train tickets for the Black Marsh?”]

[“Do these trains even have air conditioning? It's kinda hot around here.”]

[“Nope. The technology around here isn’t better than what w- humans had two centuries ago.”]

[“Grrreat. And how long is the trip?”]

[“Several days at least.”]

[“I’m going to die.”]

[“Not if you do what I say. Now, please go back to sleep. We’ll talk about that tomorrow. It’s the middle of the night…”]

[“I’m not tired…”]

[“Just shut your eyes and your mouth. I won’t ask for more.”]

Date: 23rd of August, Second Year of the Game. Location: Appleloosa’s infirmary.

“Oh hey, you two! Wake up! It’s noon!”

I quickly sat up, cracking my back after being in an awkward position for several hours. “Hello, Mrs. Sunheart! How are you?”

“Fine, and you?”

“I can’t say I didn’t sleep well. I’m sure he did too,” I said, pointing at Louis.

“Well, that’s great! Oh, and, here’s what you asked for.” Nurse Sunheart was carrying a bag containing several poultices.

I told her to prepare some of these poultices, so we could travel without having to prepare them ourselves. I wasn’t really sure I could replicate her methods. Furthermore, she really cared about the well-being of her few patients. I felt like I abused of her hospitality, but she never showed any sign of discontent and prepared lots of these poultices without even asking for money.

Louis slowly opened his eyes and watched the nurse walking around, attentive but mute.

Nurse Sunheart took a quick look at his leg. “So far, it’s okay. The condition is stable at least.”

While she checked one of her devices, she asked him: “I didn’t get your name while you were there. What is it?”

He looked at me in despair. [“I hate speaking English… Can’t you answer for me? Please…”]

Sighing, I told her: “You shall call him Louis. He’s F-Prench, and he doesn’t speak Equestrian very well.”

A spark was lit in her eyes as her smile widened. “Really? I’ve always wanted to go to Prance. But you know, with all these patients that keep coming, it’s hard to take a vacation around here… How is it over there ?”

Louis’s eyes widened. [“Wait, did I understand? Is she speaking about France?”]

[“Well, yeah, but it’s not the one you know. It’s called Prance with a P, and it’s populated with ponies and griffons.”]

He frowned. [“Shit. I knew it. This was too good to be true.”]

“He said it’s a nice country. But he’s not really informed about the daily news from there: he’s been abroad for a very long time.”

Nurse Sunheart’s smile faded away slightly. “It’s a shame. Really… Can’t he tell me about his adventures then?”

I took a few seconds to find a perfect alibi. “Most of them are classified information. He works for the Prench secret services. Sorry. Oh and, by the way, Louis isn’t his real name.”

“You know, you’re doing nothing to make my curiosity go away here, Mr. Phantom,” she said, sighing. “I guess I’ll have to leave him go with you then, since you two seem to know each other. He’s alright now. However, I’d like to ask a question before you go: why is he a blank flank?”

“It’s a spell invented by the Prench special operations department. No one knows his true identity that way.”

“Very clever! I’ve never heard of such a spell before. The Prench really are inventive… And secretive too,” the mare said with a blush, her eyes pointed at the ceiling.

“Yeah, I guess so…”

Louis observed the dialogue without saying a word for a while, but he was getting bored. [“When are we getting out of this place?”]

[“I just told her you were the pony equivalent of OSS 117. Now we can go, but try to act as if you were some kind of special ops guy. Get out first, and then follow me when I’ll be outside.”]

[“Huh. Okay, I guess.”]

Once the nurse took back her drips and other medical items, Louis hopped on the ground. He clumsily turned towards Nurse Sunheart, did the military salute, and declared: “Merci, chère madame. Au revoir, peut-être.”

The mare swooned in delight, stars literally dancing in her cartoonish eyes. She babbled incoherently for a while before shaking her head. Displaying an embarrassed smile at the considerably taller satllion, she said: “See you soon, Louis. I hope I’ll know your true name someday...”

I put my hoof on her shoulder when Louis exited the infirmary. “He’s too young for you… Wait for a few years at least.”

“What? I wasn’t-”

“Yes, you were. You didn’t notice it, that’s all,” I retorted, laughing. I grabbed the poultices with telekinesis and headed outside. “See you around, Nurse Sunheart!”

I waved her goodbye and closed the door.

“These people are weird, but charming nonetheless.”

Nurse Sunheart scratched her head before turning back, and dreamed of living somewhere else. She craved for some tasty chocolate éclairs.

The two outlanders were alone, walking in the middle of the street. The stark sunlight would have rendered the atmosphere absolutely unbreathable, if it wasn’t for that small gust of wind that washed over them every now and then.

[“So, Louis, what do you think of this world? Isn’t it nice?”]

[“It’s, uh. Disturbing. You know, me and my brother always thought it’d be awesome to be in a different world, like in a video game or something.”]

[“My brother and I. Not ‘me and my brother’,”] I corrected him.

[“You sound an awful lot like him.”]

[“He is well educated, I guess.”]

The Chess Piece sighed. [“Anyway… This isn’t the kind of world we dreamed of visiting. It was more like, The Elder Scrolls or Stargate. Or even The Lord of the Rings. This entire world right here, it’s nothing like these other universes. I mean, there seems to be ‘magic’ and all, but it’s just…  It’s way too weird. Why ponies, I mean? I’ve never even heard of a cartoon like that, on Earth. I know I’ve stopped watching cartoons a while ago, but surely I’d have heard of such a thing. Do you even know what Earth is, by the way?”]

Carefully choosing my words in order to avoid being magically tased again, I answered: [“I know that there is a cartoon called ‘My Little Pony’ there. I am sure you know this name.”]

[“Come on. These things are for babies. There certainly aren’t cannibals in a cartoon for little girls, right?”]

[“What happens on-screen isn’t what happens everywhere in the world.”]

[“Right. Then, what happens if I go and meet one of the main characters? Will anyone on Earth see me?”]

I remembered the time when Mercury told me about the relations between universes. Although I didn’t trust him at all, these informations didn’t seem to be entirely false either.

[“I am not sure about what I’m going to say. Only gods might be the ones who truly know. I’m not even sure they do. But, in short, I believe that parallel universes like this one are independent from the one where Earth is. Once they appear, they split from their representations on Earth, and become something else entirely. You know, by the way, I’m not even sure of which Earth you’re talking about. There’s an infinite number of Earths as well. There’s probably several versions of you in different universes, somewhere far away from here. All of them are living their lives normally, while you have been dragged away from your universe.”]

[“So there’s no way to contact Earth… What will my family think, then? Will they believe I’m dead?”]

[“As far as I know, time behaves in a very strange way. According to what Mercury told me, your universe’s time stops flowing when you quit it. It is, at the same time, moving and immobile. If you exit this universe , then you will have the ability to reintegrate your original universe at the moment you left it. As if nothing ever happened. The only thing that will stay as is will be your memories of your journey.”]

[“Well then. Time to find a solution to get out of here. How do I do that?”]

[“There is only one way to go back to your universe: win the game.”]

[“And how do I do that?”]

[“As far as I know, this entire game is more or less a deathmatch, where several dozens of gods bring their chosen humans for the fight. The last one alive wins, and his god wins by extension. Some of the gods also apparently keep a score list based on the various non-human kills their Pieces do, but I'm not sure it has anything to do with winning the game.”]

[“But I don’t want to kill people or even animals for that shitty ‘game’! I’m not a criminal!”]

[“Then you will have to wait for the other Pieces to die. Or you will have to die yourself. However, there is no guarantee that you’ll go back to Earth if you die here. Actually, I am pretty sure that you’ll die definitely. It is not an option.”]

[“Isn’t there any way to win without killing people, then?”]

[“As far as I know, there isn’t any. I’m sorry.”]

[“Great.”]

Louis sat on the ground in the street. He looked at his legs. Tears were brimming in his eyes. He didn’t care if anyone saw him. He was a monster, he was far away from home in a place where even the basic rules of physics didn’t apply, and he was alone. Nothing made sense here, but it was his life now. It was horrible, and he didn’t ask for it. He didn’t even do anything to deserve that.

[“Come on, Louis. Keep walking. You’ll have all the time to regret things later. If you stand here, you’re going to have a sunburn.”]

The yellow pony didn’t answer, slowly stood up and followed his quadrupedal guide through the city, dragging his  hooves a few steps behind. He couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen to him later. The idea of spending an entire life in this place was terrifying.

Past him, I often took a few quick looks at him discretely, hoping that he wouldn’t be too traumatized by what happened to him. I also had my own reasons to mope around, though. His vulnerability and my limited power, assorted to the time limit we had because of the petrification going on, were very worrying. I wasn’t sure I could save him, and I could never forgive myself if he died. It was my fault if he was here in the first place.

None of us spoke again before we reached Jolly Jester’s house.

When I knocked on the door, Louis asked: [“What are we doing here?”]

[“One of my friends lives in that house. His name is Jolly Jester.”]

[“He’s a pony too?”]

[“Indeed.”]

[“Well then. What will we be doing in there?”]

[“We’ll eat with him, sleep, and tomorrow we’ll be going.”]

[“We’ll go where?”]

[“I already told you. We need to go to the Black Marsh in order to find the holy shrine that will allow us to heal your leg definitely.”]

[“Right. I forgot about that. Let’s go, then. I don’t want to end as a statue.”]

Before I could put my hoof on the doorknob, the door flew open and a white blur popped out, as well as a bunch of confettis. Both of us were surprised, and Louis even fell back on his butt.

“Welcooooome, stranger!” Jester yelled, smiling so hard we could see past his last teeth. “And you, Phantom, too,” he said, only looking at me for a second. Immediately turning back to Louis, he kept on speaking; while the Chess Piece, still sitting on the ground, slowly crept backwards with his forehooves. “So what’s your name, friend? And how do you know Phantom? Do you know his name? He didn’t tell me. Oh hey, you’re a blank flank! Why that? That’s weird. But I’m weird too sometimes. Although less than Phantom right there. Anyway. You li-“

Once again, I had to shut his mouth manually. “He doesn’t understand Equestrian, his name is Louis, and he calls me Phantom too.”

I took my hoof back. The prankmaster didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Louis sighed in relief.

“Oh, bother. I won’t even be able to tell him my best jokes. What a shame.”

“Bah. Don’t worry about that. We won’t be staying here for long anyway.”

Jolly Jester’s brows furrowed. “Where are you going?”

“That’s classified information.”

“Awesome! I’ll come with you!” he said, jumping on the spot.

Having a pretty good idea of how he would react, I decided to try another solution: honesty. “We’re going to the Black Marsh.”

The Appleloosan stopped jumping around at once. “Nevermind!” he said, suddenly less enthusiastic about coming with us. “But why would you be going there? It’s an awful place for a vacation...”

“He’s cursed.” Pointing at Louis’ flank, I explained: “See that spot there? It’s turned to stone, and the rest of his body is slowly getting petrified. None of the usual methods work, but there’s a sacred shrine in that swamp that can save him. If we don’t go there, he dies.”

Jolly Jester cringed. “Oh, my! The poor fellow... That’s terrible! When will you go then? I suppose you can’t wait here for more than a few days?”

“We’ll take the first train to Canterlot, and I’ll see what to do once we’ll be there.”

“Okay. So, how may I help you right now?”

“Well, actually, he hasn’t eaten in a while. Would you please cook some more delicious fries for us?”

Jester laughed. “Yeah, okay, I’ll cook more of my awetastic fries. Fries for everyone!”

[“Louis, prepare yourself to taste the best fries you’ve ever eaten.”]

My brother looked at me in shock. [“Fries? Yeah, awesome!”] he shouted. [“If there’s fries, I guess this world isn’t so terrible, after all! Well, it's not the worst I could have imagined. It's, uh, slightly better.”]

[“You got it! Now, come on, let’s get inside and set the table.”]

An hour later, the three of us were chatting in the living room, our hungers sated.

[“So, Louis, how were the fries?”]

He wiped his mouth with a hoof before answering: [“Meh. I’ve eaten better on Earth.”]

He looked like he kept thinking about Earth, but didn't speak at all. He never had been prone to talk about his emotions.

Slowly sliding on a seat, he closed his eyes, assuming a typical human stance, his legs extended in front of him. Finally, the tall pony could take some time to daydream, after a quite eventful arrival in Equestria.

“What did he say?” Jester inquired.

“He thinks your fries were okay, but the ones from his country were better. There’s no place like home, as the saying goes…”

“Yeah, I can understand that. I miss home too, sometimes.”

“I’ve never asked you, by the way. Where are you from? I mean, it’s pretty obvious that you’re a zony, but-”

“What’s a zony?”

“That word’s a portmanteau.”

“What’s a portmanteau?”

I swiftly brought my hoof to my forehead before resuming my explanation. “A portmanteau is a word composed of two other words, just like 'awetastic'. You know, you said that earlier.”

I almost could see a lightbulb appearing above his head. “I get it! So, uh, why's zony a powtmontow?”

“It’s a mix between zebra and pony. So it implies that you have ancestors that were both zebras and ponies. Isn't it right?”

“Yup. I get it now. I like that word! And yes, I’m a zony. You unmasked me!” the stallion laughed heartily. “And actually, I’m from Stalliongrad. I love that city. My parents lived there for a while. Before that, my father was a sailor and my mother lived in the islands. They met, they loved each other, and they decided to live somewhere else. After that, I was born. The end.”

“Short story, but it’s nice. I hope I’ll meet them someday.”

“They’re not really great when it comes to humor, you know. We’ve had a few, or no, rather a lot of disagreements, to be honest. That’s why I decided to live far away.”

“I’ve had problems of my own like this one before. Well. Anyway. Before I forget about it, I have something for you. Let me find it.”

“Oh, a present? I love presents!”

“It’s, um, maybe, yeah. Let’s say it’s a present. It’s also a bit of a compensation for all that time you spent with me when no one else would, but I can call that a present. Anyway, do you have any idea of the value of precious gems? Because I don't.”

Jester looked at me with a curious look. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Wait here.”

I walked to the door leading inside the closet under the stairs. Inside that closet was the sledge I carried back from the diamond dog den. Of course, it carried the entire skeleton and detached parts of my trusty old motorbike, now devoid of an engine; but there was an extra, hidden in a rather large and not-so-secret compartment on the sledge.

Seeing as the diamond dogs owned several invaluable relics they wouldn’t really need, I ordered them to give me some as well. I told them it was the price for their life; but actually, it was rather because I was too lazy to earn my money by working normally later.

Thanks to their credulity, I was in possession of several artifacts made of pure gold, such as two crowns and a shield; as well as a hefty pile of precious gems, some being as big as my fist.

Among the latters, I picked two large gems that didn’t have any imperfections and went back to the living room.

Jolly Jester, perched atop his couch, was waiting for me just like a dog would have, the only difference being that he wasn’t constantly panting. When he saw the two gems, his eyes widened suddenly and his mouth hung low, completely limp.

Feeling that he wouldn’t say anything, I spoke up as I held a gem high in the air. “This, my friend, is a reward. You might say that friendship is its own reward; and I agree with that. But I do not need everything that I own, yet you do. This is why I am pleased to offer you this gem. Take it as your future birthday present that I probably won’t be there to give you,” I said, handing him the first one.

His voice suddenly was more acute. “It’s so beautiful… Phantom, thanks. I just can’t say how much I love you. I don’t care that people don’t offer me presents often, but, damn. This is too generous.”

“Don’t worry. As I said, I don’t need it. You do. As for the second gem, however, it is not for you but for someone else in Appleloosa. In fact, it is for Nurse Sunheart. She has healed Louis without asking for anything; and I feel like she deserves this. It’s also because Sheriff Silverstar busted her door again, because of Louis. So, indirectly, I am responsible for this expense. ”

“Okay… You're nice and all, but I don't really see why a stranger like you would do this for her.”

“I don’t like the idea of being indebted to anyone. Anyway, I will ask you to deliver this second gem to Nurse Sunheart the day after I go, with a letter I’ll write for her.”

“Will do.”

“Perfect. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have to go buy train tickets with Louis,” I said, patting the latter’s shoulder.

He twitched in surprise. [“I’m still in this place. Damn.”]

[“Yes, you are. Don’t expect waking up on Earth anytime soon, Louis… And now, come with me, we need to buy train tickets.”]

[“With whose money? I have none,”] he said, motioning at the place where his wallet should have been if he had pants.

[“Don’t worry, I got us covered,”] I said, while walking towards the closet.

A few seconds later, my brother held in his hooves a golden bracelet, as well as a few small gems that certainly were worth something. [“Wow, how much is that worth? It’s gotta be like, a million euros!”]

[“Nope. In Equestria, gems are used as food sometimes, so their value is very low compared to the prices you can see on Earth.”]

[“Food? What the hell? Who would eat gems?”]

[“You remember those dogs who kidnapped you? Well, their teeth are hard enough to eat gems. For them, gems taste like sweets. And dragons do that too.”]

[“Wait, there’s DRAGONS here?”]

[“Yes.  But don’t worry; we shouldn’t meet any, except maybe one who’s inoffensive. Anyway, let’s stop talking and go buy these train tickets. You’re going to have to speak English, though. The ticket booth guy probably won’t want to sell me anything, he’ll be too afraid for that.”]

[“Aw, balls. I hate speaking English!”]

[“Just say ‘I want two train tickets please’… It’s not like it’s hard or anything. You’re supposed to learn that in the 6th grade…”]

[“But I have a terrible accent! He’ll know I’m not one of them!”]

[“Remember: there’s an equivalent of France in this world. He’ll just think you’re a stupid tourist.”]

[“I don’t want to be a stupid tourist.”]

[“Tsk. Now shut up and let’s go,”] I said, pushing Louis out of the room. “See you soon, Jester!” I said, waving at him.

“Yeah, see you later, Phantom. Thanks again!”

Louis and I exited the wooden house and went back in the street, blinded by the intense sunlight after having stayed inside for so long. The gems and the bracelet were tightly locked inside a small leather pouch belonging to Jester that I grabbed on the way out. I gave them to Louis, who didn’t understand what to do.

[“Hold them yourself. I don’t have hands.”]

[“I don't either. And anyway, as the saying goes, when in Rome, do as the Romans do.”]

[“We’re not in Rome.”]

[“You know what I mean. Ponies hold things with their mouths, do it too.”]

He sighed, but accepted his fate nonetheless. The pouch firmly held in his mouth, he constantly muttered to himself while following me.

A few minutes later, he was in front of the train station’s ticket booth. Ready to follow the instructions I gave him, such as trying to have an even worse accent, Louis threw the bag on the booth and addressed the old pony who was inside. “Hello, sir. I wont to bui two tickuts for Cuntorlot.”

The train station employee’s brow and mustache both furrowed. “You mean, Canterlot?”

“Yes, yes. Sorry, I am a strenger. I do not know Ekestria very vell.”

“It’s okay, young lad. I understand. So, let’s see… Canterlot, Canterlot…” the old stallion said, as he flipped through a worn booklet titled “train schedules”. A few seconds later, he exclaimed: “Ah, yes! There it is. The next train for Canterlot is due tonight, at exactly five o’clock.”

“Perrrfect. I wont to take dis train.”

“I don’t think your little bag here holds enough bits for two tickets, my boy.”

“Open it. It is not moni.”

The old pony grabbed the bag and emptied it on the booth’s surface. A handful of gems came out, as well as a small golden bracelet. Gauging their value for a while, the employee finally declared: “I’m afraid this isn’t enough.”

“Whot?”

“That’s about worth one ticket and a half, not much more.”

Remembering my advice of using his foreigner status at his advantage, Louis decided it was time to confuse the employee a little. “Voyons, cher ami, cet objet d’art appartient à la famille royale! Il vaut bien plus cher que deux misérables billets de train. Prenez-le et donnez-moi mes tickets.”

The old pony looked suspicious. “I don’t understand what you say, but I think I caught a word. Did you say anything about royalty?”

“Yes. Dis brasselut vas oned by a prrrince.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Rrreally.”

Sensing a potential scam in his favor, the old pony instantly agreed. “Very well! Here’s your two train tickets then. Have fun in Canterlot!” he said, throwing the two tickets to Louis.

“Thanks. Good bye.”

As soon as Louis turned back with his ticket and pouch in his mouth; the ticket booth pony squinted and looked around quickly. Since apparently no one was looking at him, he stuffed the bracelet in his jacket and only put the gems in the cash register, a small smirk on his face.

He didn’t notice it, but a flash of light briefly illuminated the street while he was hiding the bracelet.

Soon after, Louis came back to my hideout, which was a conveniently placed barrel, and gave me the two tickets. [“There’s been a symbol that appeared on my ass! What the fuck, Phantom?”]

I looked at his flank. [“That’s your emblem. You certainly have noticed that every pony here has one, right? In fact, it’s something that more or less determines your future, what you’re good at, that kind of things. Everyone earns one during their life, generally after childhood. You didn’t have one because you appeared here recently, but now you’ve found something you’re good at. And, uh, your emblem appears to be a caduceus. That’s the symbol of Mercury. So it can mean pretty much anything. But, judging by the fact you just earned this after bargaining, I’d say it means you’re good at trading things.”]

His hoof hit his forehead. [“What a lousy talent.”]

[“Hey, don’t complain. Some people’s emblems indicate that they should devote their life to harvesting apples.”]

[“Okay, I take it back. Trading is good. So, what do we do now that we’ve got these tickets?”]

[“According to the tickets, the train arrives in three hours. We should go back to Jolly Jester’s house and take my stuff. Oh and, there’s your bike there too.”]

[“You took it? Why? The dogs ruined it!”]

[“For your information, they’re ‘diamond dogs’. You know, because they eat diamonds. Anyway, I took a look at the bike, and it turned out they only ate the engine and a few pieces of plastic. The rest is mostly intact. So the only thing we need to entirely replace is the engine; and I know where I can do that. As for the few scratches here and there, magic and a blacksmith will do the trick.”]

[“What, are you going to go see a train maker or something?”]

[“Nope. Trains are lousy here. But the ponies use magic-based engines in some aircraft. We’re going to try to find a guy who knows how to make a smaller version of these engines, and we’ll put it on the bike.”]

[“If you say so…”]

[“Come on. Let’s get back to Jester’s house.”]

Once again, we walked in the empty streets of Appleloosa side by side, yet more alone than ever. None of us could stop thinking about our homeland.

I was so bored I started singing a song I loved, and various alien instruments suddenly resounded everywhere in Appleloosa. THe song I chose told the story of a man reminding his hurtful past. It was about how terrible this man's world was, reminding me in a way of my birthplace, even though I still did like that planet.

Louis was amazed by the music, coming from everywhere at the same time, and so familiar. [“Hey, I know that song. It's from Earth.”]

After the second verse, my brother looked at me, intrigued. [“Isn't this...?”]

I wanted to keep on singing, but Mercury had other plans. Because of him, I completely butchered the chorus when I reached it. “We're blood braaaAAAAAAAAAAguah.”

The music crashed down suddenly, as if the ghostly musicians playing it had dropped their instruments on the ground.

What an idiot I can be, sometimes.