snarky necromancer in equestria

So... are you going to tell me who your master is now?" My torturer asked with an almost cheerful tone.

"Well that depends, will you go eat a bag of dicks?"

That was the wrong thing to say. The man plunged a red hot scalpel into my left eye, and it made a popping noise as it fizzled into liquid. Needless to say i screamed in pain, but then i started laughing.

" Cause that worked the first fifty fucking times right," I ask in a sarcastic tone,  and all the while my eye was already healing. "What color is it this time," I ask innocently.

"Why the fuck wont you die?" The man asked almost sobbing.

   Now i know your probably. Asking why i'm stuck in a torture chair with a man child cutting out chunks of my flesh. I can understand that, it's not like it happens to people often, but unfortunately for me this is just an average Tuesday. I'm a necromancer. Yes yes i know 'oh forbidden school of magic, your evil, raising the dead is wrong, lets get a manchild to stab him!' But i'm not a bad guy, i don't pillage and rape, i don't raise the human dead often, an quite frankly i have saved eight orphanages without asking for payment unlike this 'holy' group of 'cleansers' that think i'm a scourge upon earth. But back to the main topic, the man child.

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Listen,"i say," i don't plan on being here much longer so why don't you leave the room before i accidentally murder the ever living shit out of you."

  He just smiled. Hey i warned him. I started speaking incantations in an ancient  language. Before he could stop me, the beast had already been summoned. I always had a  preference to chimeras, and this was the most powerful one I  could summon in my current state. It ripped the jailer to shreds, no wait there was a chunk or two of his liver.

  " Keys," I demanded. The chimera tossed them over and went back to shredding. I made my way out of the room dispelling the chimera and stepping over the strewn intestines.  What greeted me outside of the cell was not pleasant. A mage, who's power was almost as great as mine cackled when he saw me. He spoke no words, only started murmuring. "Shit!" Was the last thing i remembered yelling before a portal ripped me out of my dimension and into what i thought would be hell. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Fluttershy eeped when se heard what sounded like glass breaking just one thousand times louder. After hinding under her bed for an hour she finall worked up the courage to investigate the noise.  Rainbow Dash had arrived before her and was already examining the creature, Fluttershy walked up and also examined it. The creature was wearing clothes, or some at least. It had black..maybey Sleeves on its legs and its feet were covered in a course tuff matetial. It had a weird looking mane, as it didn't go down its neck but hung very long off of its head. It was tall and lanky, but there was muscle there. The most interesting part were the scars that adorned its body.

"Um Fluttersh. ..what is it!?"

"I'm not sure Rainbow, but if it's hurt we need to bring it inside."

It took about 30 minutes to finally drag it inside fluttershy's cottage. When it was finally lain on the floor Rainbow Dash's curiosity was peeked." Hey Shy is it a guy?"

"Rainbow!"

"What, its just a question! "

.... "I'm not sure Rainbow, its appears to have umm...nipples but has a male shape, the only way to really tell is to..." she told pointing at its groin.

"Oh... ok," Rainbow dash said as she lifted the fabric from his waist. Her cheeks instantly reddened.

"Uhh... definitely a male."

"..."

"..."

  "..." "I'm going to get Twilight"  Rainbow Dash said as she flew off.

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   I woke with a headache that could kill a god. I slowly opened my eyes and what greeted me were another pair of large blue eyes. The eyes widened a little.

" Wow, different color eyes gold and blue. "

I started to scramble backwards until i could look at what owned the eyes. "Holy shit a talking horse with wings." Then I  went back to sleep. Ok fine I fainted.