Entry Three: Caravan

So far, the caravan trip to Trottingham hasn’t been incredibly eventful, but I thought I should update you just for the hell of it. We’re just getting settled in to the bunkhouse now, at the old Grab’n’Gulp Station, which marks a halfway point for our trek. It’s nice out here. No raiders in my sights for a change is pretty nice. I thought I saw a tiny little band of them out in the wastes, but I think the size of the caravan deterred them pretty well.

Anyway, let me take some time to tell you about the other members of the caravan, because there are some rather… interesting members.

Faultless the Pegasus: She seems nice enough, but “niceness” doesn’t get you anything out here in the wasteland, especially if you’re a little ditzy like Faultless seems to be. She’s kind of nondescript, but I get a feeling she might have something more, hidden away. She’s also way too optimistic about living in the wasteland.

Night Owl the Pegasus: He’s one of the quiet types, like me, and he seems more observant than everypony else. He may not look like much, but I think he’s okay.

Dusthoof the Buffalo: Now here’s a character for you. I was watching when she applied to join the caravan. It took a few moments for her to really get noticed, but her display was rather impressive. I don’t know exactly how she did it, but she made fire. Really hot, really powerful fire. Out of nothing. I think it might be that rumored shamanism stuff. I haven’t heard a whole lot about it, but it sounds like it could even be on par with unicorn magic, which is both awe-inspiring and terrifying. I would hate to get on her bad side, but if I play my cards right, she could be a really useful ally.

What? Yes, I think it’s cool that she can make fire. Summoning fire is awesome. Explosive fire is terrifying. Now if Dusthoof used explosives instead, it would be a hell of a different story.

Sureshot the Pegasus: Now here is an idiot for you. She intentionally aggravates the aforementioned fire-summoning buffalo. She doesn’t seem to understand the entire “the wasteland will chew you up and spit you out unless you keep your goddess-damned head down” thing. Judging by her name, she might end up being okay in a fight, but I really don’t want anything to do with this racist bitch unless I absolutely have to get involved.

Navé the Unicorn Filly: I’ve been travelling with her for a day. I already hate her. So much.

No, you have no idea how much this child truly aggravates me.

I’ve seen her type before, the spoiled child who, despite living in the wasteland her entire life, still expects to get whatever she wants, simply because she’s a filly. I hate ponies like that. She probably ran away from her parents or something. I don’t know, and I really don’t care. As long as she stays out of my way, there shouldn’t be any problems.

Oh, I think she got kicked off a couple of the wagons for being an annoying prat, poking the drivers and generally being lazy. Hell, if you’re gonna climb up on the wagons, at least do what I did and pull out some binoculars and keep a lookout for danger. Stupid child.

Yes, she’s a year older than I am. No, I don’t care. Yes, I still hate her. No, I won’t shoot her in her sleep.

Yet.

Bullet Drop the Earth Pony: He’s really gruff, but I can tell he’s kind of a softie. He stood up for Dusthoof when Sureshot was bitching at her, so he seems to be a decent sort. He knows his stuff and he does what he sets out to do. He’ll be a good asset to the caravan going forward.

Applejack’s Rangers: The Rangers themselves are exactly what I’d expected. Level-headed, collected, and armed to the teeth. Anything getting close enough to us to see these guys isn’t getting away unscathed. They’re probably the best thing to ever happen to the wasteland.

But that scribe… Something about him seems just… off. That’s the only word I can think of. Scribes don’t come out this far. What’s he doing all the way out here in the sticks? It must be something important. I just hope it doesn’t get us all killed.

Oh, that reminds me of the other reason I liked Bullet Drop. He got in the AJR’s faces and told them flat-out that if something they’re doing gets the caravan in trouble, he’d personally punish them. Or something. Yep, Bullet Drop has balls, alright.

No, that’s totally not hypocritical. Sureshot was being a racist bitch. Bullet Drop was looking out for everypony’s safety. That puts him on the moral high ground.

That freaky-big blue unicorn lady: I have no idea who she is or what she's doing on this trip. I didn't get to overhear her application, so I don't know what she can do. That dress... Could it be hiding something? No, no way. I'm just being paranoid, that's all. Get it out of your head, Zen.

The food: That meal was delicious. I don’t think I’ve eaten that well in a mon--

Sorry, I got a little carried away. No, I don’t want you to pity me. I’d erase it, but there’s no eraser on this stubby little pencil anymore, and I don’t want to use more lead than I have to. But, seriously, coming on this caravan was definitely a great idea. I’m going to hit the hay tonight, but I’ll write more when something interesting happens.

===

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

I was wrong. This caravan trip was a terrible idea.

I think something attacked us during the night, and the Ranger Scribe burst in, gave some things to Faultless, (seriously? Why’d she have to be closest? At least give the stuff to somepony who seems the slightest bit responsible. Oh well. Oh, and if you’re reading this, Faultless, I have two things to say to you: first, no offense meant; second: you’d better put this down and forget anything you read, or I’ll make you regret it) and told us to go out the back and run to some garage out in the middle of nowhere, and that millions of lives were at stake.

So, naturally, one of the morons *cough*Navé*cough* thought it would be a good idea to go out the front door. Into the assault on the Grab’n’Gulp. Sure, you’re intelligent… It took a second to convince the idiot to listen to the guy who knows what’s going on. Such an idiot.

So we get out the back door, and either hoof or wing it all the way to the garage. Damn, that Buffalo can move.

Once we got to the garage, we turned back to look at the Grab’n’Gulp. It was burning. Yeah, that would’ve been a great thing to go straight into. I’m glad we were able to get out of there in time. Of course, we weren’t out of the fire just yet, because there was something big, perched on top of the Grab’n’Gulp sign. It looked kinda like a pony, but I don’t think there’s any pony in this world that freaking big. The worst part was, I think it could see us, out in front of that garage, with that soul-breaking gaze. Getting inside the garage was, at that point, mandatory.

Anyway, inside the garage. We take a look around, and I find a nifty little magazine. 1001 Things to do with Wrenches. Could be useful if Faultless wants Chips modified somehow. Oh, right, Chips is the spritebot the Ranger Scribe gave to Faultless, along with some kind of crystal thing. Anyway, I guess Chips was supposed to unseal the inner room or something, but that little show-off, Navé, somehow got it unsealed first. I have no idea how she got so good at matrix tech… Then again, I’m damn good at sneaking, so--

DAMMIT! I noticed earlier she had also found a magazine, but I didn’t see what it was until she pulled it out again just now: it’s an explosives magazine. I swear, if that little snot ever gets her hooves on explosives, I’m going to have to confiscate them from her before she gets a chance to use them. No way in hell is anypony going to blow anything up while I’m around.

So, apparently the inner room is some kind of laboratory or something. I honestly have no idea, I’m no good at science. Oh, and it’s magically sealed. That’s a thing.

Oh, lovely. I’ve found yet another reason to despise Sureshot.

She just tried to seduce Night Owl.

What the hell. Seriously, what the hell.

If this keeps up, I’m going to tase her. I swear I’ll do it.

Alright… That’s just about enough out of me for tonight. We’ve got a long trek ahead of us tomorrow, and we’ll need to be completely alert. I’ll update you again once we get somewhere safe.

-Zen Star

Author's Note

Okay, got it done pretty much on time. Now I just have to go through the recording of the session and see if I'll be able to put it up anywhere. Seriously, it's a 1.12 GB WAV file. That's fucking huge.

Also, remember these are Zen's thoughts, not my own. I do enjoy pretty much all the characters in the group, even if Zen finds them intolerable.