My Little Yu-Gi-Oh: Card Games are Magic

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro, Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to  Kazuki Takahashi, and Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series belongs to LittleKuriboh.

“No Duel Monsters were harmed in the making of this episode…except for Kuriboh.” Yami said as an image of him surrounded by cards is shown.

The cards uncovered the screen before uncovering Joey running away from a large Blue Eyes White Dragon while yelling, “Help! I’m being chased by the slowest dragon in the universe! Think of all the card games I’ll never play!” Suddenly, he looked to his right to see a HUGE Kaiba. “Oh no, it’s Kaibazilla! I knew he would come for me one day!” He yelled.

“If you think this is huge then you should see my ego. Now, sit at your master’s hooves like the dog that you are!” Kaiba commanded while a dog suit appeared on Joey’s body.  “But I don’t wanna be a furry!” Joey whined.  “Shut up and kneel!” Kaiba yelled.  “Yes, master.” Joey nodded, kneeling before Kaiba.

Then, the song ‘Love to Love you’ began playing as it cut to the real world and a drop of dew fell on him as a caption appeared on screen reading, ‘the imagery speaks for itself’. Joey woke up with a start while saying, “Nyeh! Man, what a nightmare! That was almost as bad as the dream where Kaiba beat me in a card game!”

“Actually, Joey, I think that really happen—“ Yugi began, but Joey interrupted him.  “It was a dream!” Joey snapped.  Téa walked up to Yugi, holding a letter in her mouth as she explained, “Hey, Yugi, Mai Valentine told me to give you this letter.”

“How the hay am I supposed read this?! It’s just a bunch of pink smudges!” Yugi exclaimed while staring at the bad writing.  “Yugi’s got a special somepony!” Tristen sang.  “That does it. Tristen is so getting a mind crush…” Yugi grumbled.  Then, the opening sequence played.

Then, it showed Yugi and his friends hanging out.  “Check it out, I’ve been working on my dance moves!” Joey declared before placing his front hooves in the air. “I call this one the Joey!”

“Joey, that is the worst dance I’ve ever seen.” Yugi commented. “You’re just jealous!” Joey replied. Unknown to them, three ponies were spying on them from a nearby cliff. The first one was an Earth Pony stallion with black eyes, a blue mane, and a white coat with a tombstone as a cutie mark. His name is Zombie Colt. The second pony was a Pegasus stallion with grey eyes, a black mane, and a light grey coat with a two headed dragon as a cutie mark. His name is Zygor. The last pony was a unicorn stallion with light brown eyes, a red mane, and a blue coat with a flaming wing as a cutie mark wearing sunglasses. His name is Sid.

“Brains!” Zombie Colt said while the caption read, ‘What a cool dance!’  “You said it, Zombie Colt!” Zygor nodded as he spied on Yugi and his friends through a pair of binoculars.  “Hey, isn’t that Yugi? The only pony on this island who’s mane is more ridiculous than ours?” Sid asked in a British/Australian accent.  “Brains.” Zombie Colt commented as the caption read, ‘He looks like a bobble head doll’.  “Let’s go do more cliché henchpony things.” Sid suggested.  “Ok.” Zygor replied while they went to see Bandit Keith who was now wearing his sunglasses.

“Excellent work, my fellow Equestrians! It sounds like those foals are about to fall right into my trap…in Equestria!” Bandit Keith declared while pushing up his sunglasses.  “Oi, boss, you know we’re not actually in Equestria, right?” Sid asked.   “I don’t understand a word you just said. Try speaking Equestrian. It’s the only language I understand.” Bandit Keith answered.

Back with the main characters, Joey ran off, explaining, “I gotta go take a whiz.”

“Too much information, Joey.” Yugi said.

Meanwhile, in a cave, Bandit Keith and his group were wandering around the area. “That graveyard arena has to be here somewhere. These sunglasses sure make it difficult to see in the dark, but I refuse to take them off because I’m an Equestrian and Equestrians always wear sunglasses. Now, it’s time for my favorite Shakespeare quote.” He muttered before picking up a skull. “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him…in Equestria!”

“Brains?” Zombie Colt asked which the subtitles translated as, ‘I dropped out of zombie pony school for this?’.

Back outside, Joey was seen washing his hooves.  “Ain’t nothing like gettin’ out what ya gotta get out.” He said while Zygor flew in behind him which caused the Earth Pony to turn. “Hello, did you enjoy watching me pee?” Suddenly, everything went black before it showed the graveyard arena.  “Rise and shine, dweeb!” Zygor greeted as Joey woke up.  “Where the hay are we?!” Joey demanded.   “Brains!” Zombie Colt yelled while the subtitles said ‘It’s time to duel!’.  “Oh no! It’s a GOTH!” Joey yelled.

Outside, the other main characters were getting worried. “I wonder what’s keeping Joey? If he’s gone for much longer, we’ll just have to give his screen time to Bakura.” Yugi said.  “Let’s ditch the tosser!” Bakura declared.  “Hey look, a wallet! Finders keepers!” Téa pointed out, grabbing a piece of paper on the ground with her mouth to have it reveal a picture of Serenity.  “Hey, that’s Joey’s sister! I recognize that look anywhere.” Tristen commented.  “Let’s all wander aimlessly around that cave over there.” Yugi suggested.

Back in the cave, Joey realized that he was in major trouble.  “What do you ponies want from me?!” He demanded. “Your Star Chips, dweeb! I have a score to settle with Pegasus, so Zombie Colt’s gonna beat  in a card game!” Bandit Keith replied. “Why didn’t ya take my Star Chips when I was unconscious?” Joey asked with a confused expression.  “Shut up! It’s time for Zombie Colt to sing the Equestrian national anthem…in Equestria!” Bandit Keith snapped.  “Brains, brains, brains, brains, brains.” Zombie Colt sang which translated into ‘My Little Pony, My Little Pony’.   “He has the voice of a zombie pony angel.” Zygor commented.

Elsewhere in the cave, Yugi and his friends were seen wandering around.  “We can’t seem to find Joey anywhere. This is totally the opposite of Super Special Awesome, whatever that is…” Yugi said. Then, Bakura discovered something and called out, “Look, a couple of coffins! These will come in handy when we kill Joey for making us look for him.”  Suddenly, one of the coffins opened and a skeleton fell out. “Oh no, a supermodel!”  Téa cried out while the skeleton fell on her.  “Stop trying to make out with Téa, that’s my job!” Yugi exclaimed as he threw the skeleton off of her.  “Yugi saved me. That means we’re engaged.” Téa said randomly.

Back in the graveyard arena, ‘Thriller’ by Michael Jackson was playing while Zombie Colt’s monsters attacked Joey’s monsters.

Back with the search for Joey, Bakura had went missing.  “Hey, what happened to Bakura?” Yugi asked Téa.  “Maybe they finally wrote him out of the show.” The light pink Earth Pony shrugged.  Suddenly, Bakura came running on screen with a skeleton on his back.  “HELP! THIS SUPERMODEL’S ONE OF MY FAN FILLIES!”  He screamed.  “Not a fan filly!” Yugi, Téa, and Tristen shouted, attempting to leave Bakura in the dust.  “Come back here and help me, you wankers!” Bakura cried out from behind.  Tristen then bucked the skeleton off of Bakura and crushed it’s skull while saying, “Ugh! Who’s smexy now?!”

“We should be ok as long as you all don’t trigger any obvious traps.” Yugi told his friends. Then, Bakura accidently stepped on a trigger for an obvious trap. “Oh smeg!” He exclaimed.  “Is everypony from Trottingham a total spaz, Bakura?” Yugi asked.  “Pretty much.” Bakura answered.   Suddenly, a giant bolder came rolling towards Yugi, Téa, Tristen, and Bakura while the Katamari Damacy theme played as they made a run for it. “Gangway! Mares and shestallions first!” Bakura yelled before suddenly tripping. “Oh bollocks!” The bolder then ran him over. “It got Bakura!” Yugi shouted in shock.  “Good!” Téa exclaimed.  Tristen slid in front of the bolder while yelling, “I shall avenge his death! My voice gives me super strength!”  He then bucked the bolder, but it exploded as a record scratch was heard.  “Holy [bleep] it really does!” Tristen gasped.  “Oh, it was just a balloon with speakers inside. I guess I wet myself for nothing.” Yugi sighed in relief.   “Somepony tell my fan fillies…I love them…” Bakura muttered with a terrified expression while lying on the ground.  “Looks like Bakura’s scarred for life again.” Téa commented.

Back in the graveyard arena, Joey was in distress.  “I sure wish Yugi were here. How am I supposed to prove my independence without his help?” He asked.  Suddenly, Yugi and the others arrived on the scene.  “Don’t worry, Joey! We’re here to rescue you!”  He exclaimed before realizing what was happening.  “Wait a second, you were playing a card game? We were worried sick about you!”

“Hey, I’m trying to regain my self-esteem here.” Joey told them.  “You hang out with us. You don’t have any self-esteem.” Yugi said.  “Oh yeah…” Joey realized.   “Seems you’re out of luck, dweeb! Zombie Colt’s monsters are gonna wipe out your Life Points!” Bandit Keith declared.  “Let me guess, in Equestria, right?” Joey asked.  “I wasn’t going to say that…in Equestria.” Bandit Keith answered. “Joey, you can still win! Just remember your love for Serenity and you can do anything!” Yugi called out.   “You’re right, Yug! That was my favorite Joss Whedon movie! This is for cancelling Firefly, you goth!” Joey yelled while his monster attacked one of Zombie Colt’s monsters.  “Brains?” Zombie Colt asked as the captions read, ‘What the hay?’.  “Well, Joey, you’ve learned an important lesson: the only way to kill a zombie pony is to destroy the brain.” Yugi explained.   “I also learn that I’m secretly a furry.” Joey said as he pointed to himself.  “Again, too much information, Joey.” Yugi commented. “Let’s get outta here before we get eaten by a grue.” Joey suggested.

Outside of the cave, Sid, Zygor, and Zombie Colt were seen pushing a bolder in front of the entrance.  “They’ll never get past this cardboard cutout of a bolder.” Sid declared.  “Another victory for Equestria.” Bandit Keith smirked.

Within the cave, Joey and the others were trying to push the bolder out of the way.  “It’s no use, it’s made of solid cardboard!” He declared.  “I can’t believe I’m stuck in a cave with three stallions.” Téa commented.  “Fancy a shag, Téa?” Bakura asked.  “I mean four stallions.” Téa corrected.