My Little Yu-Gi-Oh: Card Games are Magic

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro, Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to  Kazuki Takahashi, and Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series belongs to LittleKuriboh.

“Previously on My Little Yu-Gi-Oh…” Yami said while an image of him surrounded by cards is shown while The Lonely Man from the Incredible Hulk 1977 TV show is heard playing.

The cards uncovered the screen to reveal Téa talking to Yugi. “Yugi, Yami’s the father.”  Téa told him.

“Tristen, don’t leave me!” Joey yelled.  “I’m sorry, Joey, it’s just not working out between us.” Tristen explained. “But I love you!” Joey protested.  “Yugi, Weevil’s the father!” Téa declared.

“Grandpa! So YOU’RE the one who made Tristen into cupcakes!” Yugi gasped.  “Yes, it was I!” Grandpa yelled.  “Yugi, Bakura’s the—“ Téa began.  “No [bleep]ing way!” Yugi yelled.

“Ok, I lied about that one.” Téa corrected herself.  “This time, Yugi, you don’t stand a ghost of a chance!” Kaiba’s ghost said.

Tristen then told Yugi, “Yugi, you’re the father!”

“And now, the thrilling conclusion…wait a minute, did any of that stuff actually happen?” Yami finished.

The opening sequence then played.

We open to the dueling field where the Hair Guy announced, “Attention, duelists!  My mane has abducted this small foal! If you want me to release him, you must face Seto Kaiba’s ghost in a duel.”

“Are you trying to tell me that Kaiba came back from the dead just to play a card game with me?” Yami asked.  “Yes!” The Hair Guy answered with a nod.  “Either this is a trick or this show is dumber than I thought.” Yami said.

“It’s true, Yugi, I’ve returned from the dead in order to defeat you .  My desire for vengeance was so strong that even Tartarus itself could not hope to contain—“ Kaiba’s ghost began, but was interrupted by Yami.  “Ok, time out! Does anypony believe for even one second that this pony’s a ghost?” Yami asked.

“I do!” Tristen responded. “Anypony else besides Tristen?” Yami questioned. “I do!” Tristen called out.

“What’s your point?” Kaiba’s ghost asked.  “My point is that you’re not a ghost! No effing way!” Yami declared.  “Then, explain why I have this: the Hitotsu-Me Giant!” Kaiba’s ghost yelled while summoning said monster.

“Oh. You’re right. That defiantly proves it…” Yami said sarcastically.  “Look, I’m a ghost, ok? Quit being such a jerk!” Kaiba’s ghost snapped with an annoyed expression.  “If you’re a ghost, then I’m straight!” Yami yelled.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the island, Kaiba was seen hiding among the trees, muttering, “Now that Pegasus thinks I’m dead, I can work on redeeming my character in the eyes of the fans! Wait a minute, how the hay did I climb up the side of a cliff while levitating a briefcase? And, for the matter, how the hay did I get here? Into the Kaiba Cave!”

He levitated a chain which opened a trap door while the 1960s Batman TV show theme played as he levitated a book in the cave’s bookcase which moved the shelf.  “Hi there, Kaiba! I’m your inappropriately voiced computer system!” A computer greeted.

“Wait a second, do you mean I have to spend the entire episode talking to a machine?” Kaiba asked. “It’s like looking the mirror, isn’t it?” The computer questioned. “Using my leet haxzor skills, I’m going to take down one of Pegasus’s satellites, so that I can gain access to his computer systems. Hooray for cyber terrorism!” Kaiba said.

“It looks like you’re just pressing the same keys over and over again.” The computer pointed out.  “That’s because I learned how to hack by watching old episodes of Hoof Trek.” Kaiba responded.

“Since I’m such an advanced computer, I can make Pegasus’s computer systems look like a really boring video game.” The computer said as it showed a shot of what looked like a video game.

Suddenly, a blue screen with white text appeared on screen.  “Ah! The Blue Screen of Death! My mortal enemy…” Kaiba yelped in seeing this.

Back on the dueling field, Kaiba (?) said, “You don’t stand a ghost of a chance, Yugi, because this time I’m—““How many times are you going to use that line?!” Yami demanded in annoyance.

A black screen appeared with the caption reading, ‘honestly, they use that pun way too much. Here, I’ll prove it’.  Scenes from the original are seen, along with the characters talking in awkward voices.

The first scene was Kaiba (?) saying in a dual voice, “It’s me, Kaiba. And this time you don’t stand a ghost of a chance!”  “Yugi, you don’t have a ghost of a chance beating because this time he IS a ghost!” The Hair Guy said.

Then, it showed what looked like a zombie pony. “I’m afraid you don’t stand a ghost of a chance in a duel against me!” The zombie pony declared.

A black screen appeared with the show’s logo along with a caption that read, ‘where bad puns go to die’.

“Oooooh, I’m a ghost…Oooooh.” Kaiba (?) said, pretending to be a ghost.  “Oh stop it! You’re not fooling anypony.” Yami groaned. “It’s a ghost!” Tristen yelled.  “Tristen doesn’t count.” Yami corrected himself.

“That’s not my brother! Everypony says that he’s a bad pony, but he’s not!” Mokuba yelled.  “He stole my grandfather’s favorite card, put him in the hospital, and left you at the mercy of his enemies! Face it, kid, your brother’s a scumbag!” Yami responded.

Underground, the real Kaiba’s horn glowed while he declared, “Even though I’m his arch rival, I’ve installed this virus to help Yugi win. Finally, being a rich nerd pays off.”

“You really DO need to get out more.” The computer commented. “See, you’re not a ghost at all!” Yami declared while Kaiba (?) began shape shifting. “You’re some kind of… gay changeling clown apparently.”  The shape shifting unicorn then exploded into a changeling wearing a dark purple cape.

“Ewwww, it’s slightly more disturbing than regular clowns!” Téa yelled.  “Actually, I’m not a clown. I’m Seto Kaiba’s evil side brought back from the Shadow Realm.” The changeling explained.

“That’s even less believable than the whole ghost story! You don’t even know what you are, do you?” Yami asked.  “No…” The changeling responded.

“Didn’t think so. MIND CRUSH!!!” Yami replied while mind crushing the changeling to death. ”Did I just kill a gay changeling clown?”

“That ghost didn’t scare me even though I did just [bleep] myself.” Tristen said.  “He didn’t stand a ghost of a chance!” Yami declared as he used the overused line.

Laughter from the others was heard all around the area.  “Hey, what happened to Mokuba?” Joey asked.  “Who cares?” Yami responded.

A black screen appeared with the image of Bakura, but as a unicorn with the captions ‘his time is at hand’ and at bottom in brackets ‘we’re all gonna die’.