My Little Yu-Gi-Oh: Card Games are Magic

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro, Yu-Gi-Oh belongs to  Kazuki Takahashi, and Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series belongs to LittleKuriboh.

As we see an image of Yami surrounded by cards, we hear some gibberish which the subtitles translate it as, ‘Previously on the My Little Yu-Gi-Oh…’

The cards covered the screen to reveal the main characters sitting around their campfire from the previous episode. Rustling was heard from the bushes as Téa yelped in surprise.

Joey said something in gibberish, the subtitles reading, ‘What is this new devilry?’  Bakura walked out of the bushes while the main characters gasped while Yugi said something in gibberish, translated to ‘Behold, it is the Bakura’.   Joey commented something in gibberish, the subtitles saying, ‘Hereupon, my fears are alleviated’.

As the characters sat around a tree stump, Tristen said something in gibberish which the subtitles translated it to, ‘Bakura has been permitted the friendship’. Yugi said something in gibberish with shocked expression, translated to ‘You have a Millennium Item unexpectedly!’

Florence’s voice was heard talking in gibberish, translated to English as ‘Indeed and with it’s powers I can make my voice sound gruff and sexy as well as change my cutie mark and get a unicorn horn’.

  As this was said, the screen rippled as Bakura transformed into Florence.  Joey asked something in gibberish which translated to ‘Poor weather conditions?’.  Yugi said some gibberish as the subtitles read, ‘This is an unfortunate turn of events!’.  Florence said a long string of words in gibberish which translated as ‘Yes’.

The Millennium Ring then glowed which caused the main characters to pass out.  Florence snarled in gibberish which the captions translated as ‘All of your puzzle are belong to me!’.  He reached for the puzzle, but it glowed which turned Yugi into Yami.  Florence growled which translated to English as, ‘Do not want!’.  Then, he gasped in gibberish as Yami got up, the subtitles reading, ‘Oh no! Alicorn Powers!’  Yami said something in gibberish as the subtitles read, ‘How dare you tamper with my jewelry, villainous cur!’  Florence said something in gibberish which translated as, ‘The card game of us commences’.

After a slight pause, he continued while the subtitles read, ‘Right after these words from our sponsor.’

Then, the opening sequence began playing.  As a vision of all the Millennium Items appeared, Florence explained, “Once I gain all seven Millennium Items, I shall use their vaguely established powers to destroy the world! But first I’m going to beat you in a card game!”   “Not if I can help, you albino creampuff!” Yami retorted while levitating a card down onto the field. “I summon the Cyber Commander AKA Tristen’s favorite monster even though he doesn’t actually play this game.”

When the card was summoned, Tristen was seen dressed up as the Cyber Commander.  “I’m surprisingly buff!” He declared, still using the different voice from the previous episode.

“By the gods, that’s exactly what I want to look like!” Yami gasped.  Florence then commanded, “White Magical Hat, send his Cyber Commander to the Graveyard!”  The White Magical Hat then killed Tristen, not the voice, but the actual pony.  “NO! TRISTEN! He was the finest mind of his generation!” Yami cried out before levitating another card down. “I summon the Flaming Swordsstallion AKA Joey’s favorite monster.”

Then, the Flaming Swordsstallion appeared as Joey who asked, “Uh oh, have I been cross-dressing in my sleep again?”

“It seems that Bakura has placed our souls into each of our favorite cards. Either that or he’s turned you all into cosplayers.” Yami replied.  “That monster!” Joey yelled.  “By the way, Tristen’s dead.” Yami told him.  “Oh no, not again!” Joey groaned.  “I also summon the Dark Magician.” Yami added as he levitated the card onto the field.

Then, Yugi was seen dressed up as the Dark Magician. “I slightly look more ridiculous than usual!” He commented.  “And now I activate Monster Reborn to resurrect Tristen’s original voice!” Yami declared, activating the card while Tristen appeared.

“Hey, what gives?! I liked my new voice! Ponies were starting to take me seriously!” Tristen protested in his original voice.  “Sorry, Tristen, but it’s much easier to make fun of you this way.” Yami apologized.  “Wait a second, why are there two Yugis?” Joey asked.  “I’m not sure, but when I’m dueling, it’s like I feel a powerful voice inside my head telling me how to win!” Yugi answered. “Does that mean you’ve been cheating?” Tristen asked.  “Well, it’s more complicated than that—“Yugi began, but was interrupted by Joey.  “Sounds like cheatin’ to me, Yug.” Joey said.

“It’s not cheating! It’s more like a spiritual connection that goes far beyond any—“Yugi protested.

“Hey, Big Yugi! Has Little Yugi been cheating this whole time?” Joey asked Yami who nodded. “Oh, you all can just go straight to Tartarus!” Yugi snapped.

“Now, I’ll place Téa in face down position!” Yami declared while putting the Magician of Fate card down.  Téa appeared on the field dressed as the Magician of Fate as she stared at the staff she held in her hooves and commented, “This looks like something out of a bad fanfic!”

If only she’d picked the Dark Magician Filly! Mmm, Dark Magician Filly…Yugi thought.

“Good luck overcoming my Pony-Eater Bug!” Florence announced suddenly.  “One of us has to sacrifice themselves in order to kill that monster! I nominate Tristen.” Yugi explained.   “Seconded!” Téa responded.

Suddenly, Joey ran forward while yelling, “Don’t worry, Tristen! I’ve always wanted to die wearing a dress! I REGRET NOTHING!!!” Then, he attacked the bug and the two vanished.  “Soon, I’ll be the only character left! I’ve always wanted my own cartoon. I think I’ll call it ‘Zorc and Pals’!” Florence declared.

Then, it showed the opening to the show he mentioned while the lyrics of the theme song were shown on top of the screen while two drawings of Florence’s head were moving up and down at the bottom sides of the screen. "Who’s that crazy kook destroyin’ the world? It’s Zorc!" The narrator sang.  “That’s me!” Zorc said as it showed a close up of him on screen. "It's Zorc and Pals!" The narrator finished.

In the show, Florence asked, “Zorc, did you forget our anniversary AGAIN?” A laugh track was heard playing in the background.  “Yes, I was too busy destroying the world.” Zorc answered while another laugh track was heard.  “I have slaughtered millions.” More laughter was heard.  “That’s my Zorc!” Florence smiled evilly.

"The blood of the innocent will flow without end! His name is Zorc and he’s destroying the world!" The narrator sang.

Back to the real story, Florence asked Yami, “What do you think, Pharaoh?”

“I think you’ll be taken off the air faster than you can say ‘Arrested Development’!” Yami answered.  “That was my favorite show…why did they have to cancel it?” Téa sobbed.

Suddenly, the Magician of Fate card began glowing.  “Téa’s tears activated her special ability making her attack and defense points look completely inaccurate!” Yugi explained.  “Yes and it allows me to recycle Monster Reborn!” Yami declared as he levitated a card down.

Joey was pulled out of the graveyard just in time as he begged to the Reaper of Cards, “Please don’t kill me! I have three best friends! Kill them instead!”

Then, he was transported back to the field.  “It’s ok, Joey, my alter ego brought you back to life with a Spell Card.” Yugi reassured his friend. “That’s right!” Tristen nodded.

“How many times am I going to have to kill you ponies before you stay dead?” Florence sighed in annoyance, levitating a familiar card for the others to see.  “The Change of Heart! That’s Bakura’s favorite card!” Yugi gasped.

“Yes and with it, I’m going to turn you into a villain! That way, you’ll know what it’s like to have your plans foiled by a bunch of card game obsessed morons!” Florence declared.

As he levitated a card onto the table, an illusion of Bakura as the Change of Heart appeared. “Look, it’s the real Bakura!” Yugi pointed out.  Bakura switched places with another monster as he explained, “I’ve taken control of this mare’s body to save you all. And I don’t mind telling you it feels bloody great!”

“By the gods, that’s exactly what I want to look like!” Florence exclaimed.  “Conveniently, my Millennium Puzzle allows me to put souls back into their original bodies.” Yami stated, switching Bakura and Florence’s souls’ places.

Now a monster on the field, Florence yelled in annoyance, “How dare you defy me?! Wait until Zorc hears about this!”

“FINISH HIM!” Yami announced in the Mortal Kombat voice.  “Super Special Awesome Attack!” Yugi declared as he used an attack. “Oh bugger me!” Florence exclaimed, getting sent to the graveyard. “I shall be a main character! Even though it’ll take me another 200 bloody episodes!”

The duel was now over as the characters returned to their original bodies. “I say, that plot line made a lot more sense in the original manga.” Bakura commented.  “Where did you get your evil ring from, Bakura?” Yugi asked him.  “My father bought it while he was in Saddle Arabia looking to purchase some blue mane dye.” Bakura explained.

Joey rubbed his mane, telling his friends, “Man, I had the most unbelievable dream! There were two Yugis and Bakura was a main character!”

“I usually enjoy dreams about two Yugis, but that one was very disappointing.”  Téa said.

Far in the distance, Mai was heard yelling, “My plot is in danger!”

“Hey, that sounds like the plot for the next episode! Come on, gang, let’s see what it is!” Yugi declared. The group ran off together as it cut to a freeze frame. “Oh no! The animation budget ran out!” Tristen yelled.