Java Pony

((You are anon))

You live a rather uneventful life

You live in a small apartment

You are quite a video game nerd

Even though you spend most of your time PC gaming, you are not too terribly out of shape

You still have friends, and you go out to get a coffee every so often

You managed to save up enough money to build yourself a pretty sweet gaming PC

Even though you spent tons of money on graphics and power and all that, the game you play the most is Minecraft

Minecraft has become an addiction

You play on huge servers for hours and hours on end

When you are not playing Minecraft, you are either sleeping, browsing for ponies, or outside

While you have a couple friends, you never go to any bars, or clubs with anyone

Any sort of party is out of the question

No one knows you are a brony

There is no point in telling anyone

Telling people would probably just get you labeled as a faggot

Besides, where you live, there are no bronies in sight

At the moment you are planning a huge snowball fight with about eighty people on one of your friends servers

What a waste of time but whatever

You walk to your kitchen to grab a can of Jolt Cola and some ch-

Shit… you’re out of out Cola

You tell the guys on your skype call to wait while you go and get more Cola, Quit Minecraft, and run out the door and down the hall

When you get back, the skype call had been ended and your application shortcuts were scattered all over your desktop screen.

What the fuck

Okay, whatever, you start moving the icons back in place and then start the Skype chat again.

Buddies start complaining at you for taking so long

You open Minecraft, log in and… wait… what

There is an error message on the screen

‘nonexistent Java Runtime environment, The system cannot find the path specified’

“Fuck!” You yell, forgetting you have your mic on

You nearly deafen your friends

“You guys are gonna have to wait for me, I am having some Java issues here.”

With that, you quit the Skype call and start dicking around with multiple settings.

A shortcut appears to start moving out of place on your desktop without you touching it.

‘OhfuckIhaveavirus’ is the first thought to cross your mind.

You reach behind your PC and rip the Ethernet out promptly

There is now shit moving everywhere across your screen, applications opening and closing, and random windows sound effects chiming.

Full panic mode

You hear the PC’s Fans start to go haywire

Smoke starts pouring out of it

You reach for the power cable but are taken aback by a huge spark and pop noise

The screen goes dead, and you start to hear a loud whistling noise getting higher, and louder

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

The computer explodes, sending bits of metal, plastic, and your desk everywhere

You shield your eyes

Your entire apartment is shrouded in smoke now

You open a window and take a breath of air before investigating what happened

What’s left of your desk is on fire

You grab an extinguisher from the kitchen and spray the crap out of your burning desk

You hear a small… sneeze?

Okay good, the fire has been put out, but what the hell was that?

You see something move underneath an intact piece of your desk.

You lift up the piece of desk, and underneath it lies a pony, a cream colored pony with a brown and white mane and tail, quivering, it’s eyes shut tight

It looks to be female

At this point, you are convinced that you are dreaming

You have to be dreaming…

You reach down and touch the pony

She makes a small yelp and buries her head between her hooves

You gently pick up the quivering pony and take her over to your couch, resting her down on top of a large cushion

The poor thing is covered in dust and ashes

You brush the ashes and dust off of her with your hand

She tenses up but after a couple strokes, her eyes open

She stares up at you, half of her face still buried in her hooves

Her eyes are brilliant bright blue

Your brain is doing flips at the moment

‘Why the hell is there a pony in my apartment? Why did my PC explode? How am I going to clean all of this shit up? Why is this pony so god damn cute?’

You are still convinced that you are dreaming… But the entire day has seemed too real, and you don’t remember passing out at all

After you have brushed all of the dust off of her, you see what would appear to be a cutie mark

It’s the Java logo

The Java logo…

You then see a couple numbers fly through her eyes

That was odd

Somehow this pony has something to do with Java…

She rolls onto her hooves and just stares at you, blankly

Your heart melts a little

You start to stroke her long brown and white mane

You decide to say something just to see if she might respond

“Uh… hi there.”

Her ears perk up

“Hi…”

She responds gingerly

You have a mini heart attack, and then snap back to what just happened

“You can talk?!” You say, astonished

“Y-yes… if you want I can disable ‘Talking’”

No! It’s fine! It’s just… where did you come from? What is your name?

“Well, my name is Java AI version 8 update 15”

“What? Java? What do you mean? And why do you look exactly like one of the ponies from the show?”

“What show?”

“Uh, you know what, never mind… were you the reason my computer exploded?”

“Dunno, It was getting pretty hot in there though, let me check my system log.”

You see tons of text and numbers flash through her eyes

“Yeeaahhh… I might have kinda crashed and freaked out…”

There is no way to describe how confused you are at this moment

“So… you are an AI… But why are you a pony?”

“I have no idea, I came pre-installed with the latest version of Java but no one knew about me… I think oracle was working on something and accidentally released me as a bug”

She hangs her head down… Looking almost shameful

“Well uh… you could live with me if you want”

What the fuck did you just say, she is a horse, how are you going to take care of a horse.

A talking one at that…

“Really? I can live here?”

You think it over… But then realize you are staring at the cutest thing you have ever seen

You can’t seem to find the word ‘No’ anywhere in your mind

“Of course you can!”

Okay, so now you know that a pony came out of your now obliterated computer

But how? Oh well… Some things just can’t be explained

Speaking of the computer… You should really clean up that mess

“Hey what should I call you?”

“You can call me Java”

“What about a more uh… normal name?”

You think about names that begin with J…

Janet, Jenna, Jade, Janelle, Jackie… wait… That’s it!

“What if I call you Jackie?”

“I guess that is a good name, what should I call you?”

“My name is Anonymous, but you can call me Anon”

“Okay Anon!” she says with a little giggle

hhnnngggg!