Illusions

It's not my fault.

I tell myself this often.

It's not my fault. It's not my fault.

I often have doubts though, because I know that it is my fault. I've hidden it deep in the depths of my mind, but somehow it always works is way back to the front. I guess there is no hiding from the truth.

It's the middle of the night. I should be asleep, but I'm not. Insomnia, I guess.

The moon is the only thing giving any life to this dull room if you don't count the other breathing fillies and me.

My eyes drift to the photo album resting on my small bedside table. I sit up and reach for it. I might as well do something if I can't fall asleep.

I first blow off all the dust that has collected due to its minimal use. I cough a bit, but I do my best muffle them. I shouldn't even be up. I can only imagine what will happen should I be caught.

Opening it up, I find that's it's pretty easy to see. My bed is close to the window, so I have plenty of moonlight to help view the pictures.

All of the pictures are of my parents and I before those... unfortunate events happened.

Every. Single. Photo.

We used to be so happy--living in Cloudsdale together. But when they died and I was forced to move to this orphanage on the ground, all the happiness seemed to slip from my hooves.

I don't think it's just because they died I feel this way. I mean, there are plenty of other foals who don't have any parents and they're still really happy, right?

I think it's mainly because of the way they died. And because I didn't have any friends here until Shadow Heart came along.

Looking at all these pictures of how happy I used to be makes me want to cry. I even feel one tear slip and fall down my cheek to the bedspread below. I close the photo album and set it back on the bedside table before anymore can start though. I don't want to cry.

"Psst! Scootaloo. Scootaloo!" I hear a voice whisper. I turn my head to the doorway and it's a bit hard to see who it is at first. I squint my eyes and notice it's Shadow Heart.

Why is he here? He should be in bed! What if he gets caught?

He must have known I spotted him, for he called out once more. "C'mere!"

I crawl out of bed slowly and carefully, as to not creak any of the floorboards and disturb the others who rest temporarily.

I make small movements over to Shadow. I really don't want to get caught, and waking up the other fillies won't aid with that.

Once I'm standing in front of him, he says, "Follow me! I have something to show you! But you have to close your eyes!" He holds out a hoof so he can guide me. I'm reluctant to take it at first, but I finally come to the decision. I nod my head, close my eyes, and take his hoof.

He leads me for a minute or so, then I hear a door creaking and feel a cool gust of wind.

He's taking me outside! Why? Doesn't he know what'll happen if we get caught?

But we don't seem to get caught at all. He leads me down the path and not once do I hear an angry, cranky, husky voice shouting at us to get our flanks back inside.

Shadow leads me for about five more minutes before finally stopping. "... Okay," he says. "You can open your eyes now." I slowly open my eyes and I see the most beautiful sight I've ever seen!

In front of us lay a giant lake. The moon reflected off the water as well as the stars. The lake water was lapping the shore. Behind the lake were some trees. Pine trees, to be exact. But we couldn't really see them. They were like shadows: They were completely black.

Fireflies were flying everywhere--some in the back with the trees, some to the side, some hovering over the lake, and some were no more than a few feet in front of Shadow and I.

I couldn't help but smile at the sight. But who wouldn't? It was absolutely the most amazing sight ever.

"Like it?" Shadow asked.

I turn to Shadow only to find he was already looking at me. "Like it? I love it. How did you ever find a place like this one?"

"I may or may not have snuck out a few times to escape that grouch of an owner." He tilts his head to the side and gives a soft smile as he speaks.

I giggle and turn my gaze back to the wonderful sight. We sit down, just watching the fireflies and making small talk.

A firefly hovers right over to me and lands on my nose. I sneeze and the small bug flies off. Shadow laughs and I laugh along with him.

A while later, he tells me to hold my hoof out. I turn to him and see he has a firefly crawling around in his own hoof. I reach my leg out and he puts his hoof right next to mine, letting the insect crawl onto my hoof. It tickles and I can't help but giggle.

Right now, I'm so relaxed. I'm so happy. But it's a real happy. Right now when I smile, it's a real smile. I don't have to fake right now.

This place is just so... calming. We must have been there for a few hours, just talking, enjoying the view, and playing with the fireflies. I decide we should be heading back.

I stand up and Shadow, taking notice of this action, looks at me. "We should be heading back," I say.

"No... stay," he commands.

"But if we don't head back--"

"It'll be fine. Lay down and close your eyes. I'll protect you." He smiles.

And I don't hesitate. I know we'll both be in so much trouble tomorrow, but I think it's worth it. Just this one time.

I lay down like Shadow told me too, and close my eyes, letting darkness envelop my world.

But I fall asleep with a smile on my face.