Deadpool In Equestria

““This is the police, come out with your hands in the air!”, SWAT members circled the building, dozens of them. A code red crime was taking place. As the red and black mercenary walked out of the building, he had 2 Glock 17s. out and ready to fire.

“Yeah, I’m so scared. About 1 hundred guys in useless vest versus 1 guy who is practically invincible.”, He said as he walked out of the building.

“Deadpool, calm down, SHIELD just needs you to join me on a mission.”, a red white and blue man, with a shield of the same colors, came out with the shield in front of him.

Deadpool slowly lowered the firearms, but not before taking out about 3 SWAT members with expertly fired bullets to the head and chuckling at their dead corpses..

“Listen, Cappy, you don’t mind if I call you that, do you? Good. We’ve known eachother for about a few years now. And throughout those good ol years, SHIELD has tried to execute, poison, burn, dismember, decapitate, incinerate, and splice me. All of which have failed thanks to my healing factor. ”

“Deadpool, need I remind you, you used to be a hostile, and to this day, you are listed as a terrorist freelance mercenary in their records.”, Captain America said as he lowered his shield.

“So what, I blew up a populated building or two, it’s not like I don’t have moral standards, besides, can’t you get Wolverine, or one of the other Avengers to do it..”, Deadpool said as he spun his gun in his hand.

“You honestly think it’s that easy? They are all on important missions, besides, this mission would require someone as crazy as you.”

“And why is that?”, Deadpool asked, now curious as to whether or not this was a suicide mission.

“Deadpool, just look at the mission summary..”, Captain America said as he handed Deadpool the folder.

We have come in contact with a world of talking Equine like creatures, in the events of exploring a strange forest they call “Everfree”, we have managed to capture one, however this creature “Pinkie Pie” as she calls herself, is extremely uncooperative, and will require someone as talkative and obnoxious as her, we have sent Captain America to negotiate with free lance mercenary,  Wade Winston Wilson, better known as “Deadpool”, his mouth may be what we need to unlock her secrets.

Deadpool looked over the file again.

“Okay, I can easily do that, but talking ponies, is that really a threat?”

As the mercenary stepped out of the plane, he boarded onto a helicarrier flying in mid air, before an eye patch wearing man walked up to him.

“Hey! Fury, what’s up man? Still regretting being played by David Hasselhoff in 1998, I bet.”

Deadpool patted the man on the back as the man stared in confusion at the David Hasselhoff comment before shaking his head back to reality.

“Deadpool, please just keep your mouth closed until you get to the destination.”, Captain America politely commented.

“No can do, Cappy, Wolvey recently made a twenty dollar bet to me that I couldn’t shut up for more than 2 seconds, and since I already owe him that much, I plan on losing.”, Deadpool smiled under his mask.

Deadpool walked slowly to his destination, whistling the theme from the movie “Predator” the entire way.Every time he heard a SHIELD agent whisper a rumor, he would shoot them.

The captive he was supposed to talk to, a pink pony, was in an electric cage.

“Heh,  it’s like a 1000 volt joybuzzer!”, she yelled in glee.

“I know right! When they put me in one of those things, I was thinking that exact same thought the entire time!”, Deadpool replied.

“Finally, someone who isn’t as lame as Oldie McMeanPants”, she pointed to Nick Fury.

“A fitting nickname if I do say so myself.”, Deadpool chuckled. “Anyway, listen, Pinkie, I need your help, I need you to answer a few questions.”

“Okie Dokie Loki!”. Pinkie replied heartedly.

“Heh, Loki, he once cursed me to look like Tom Cruise you know.”, Deadpool said, “Anyway, I am Wade Wilson, so what is your world like?”

“I don’t know, it’s different from everypony’s perspective, from the simple butterfly, to the mighty dragon who wants to give Rarity his diamonds.”

Deadpool shrugged.

“Dragons?”, he asked.

“And manticores, and diamond dogs, and cockatrices, and hydras, and changelings.”, Pinkie explained and named a multitude of monsters.

“Well this place certainly sounds … dangerous.”, Deadpool replied, while at the same time imagining himself shooting said creatures as they run for their lives, with flames rising up in the background.

“Oh no, Princess Celestia keeps everypony safe from those creatures, as long as they stay in the Everfree forest, we should be fine.”

Deadpool gave a disappointed look (which, of course, no one could see under his mask) before asking further questions.

As Deadpool walked out of the room. He imagined what Equestria would be like, it sounded too peaceful for his taste however.

“I have to admit, the place sounded pretty boring, as long as you guys keep away from the ‘Everfree forest’ you should be safe.”

“Thank you for your cooperation, Deadpool.”, Nick Fury replied.

“But I still wonder what that place is like.”, Deadpool said, before noticing a tied up man with an eye patch in a nearby closet.

“Well why don’t you find out.”, said the fake Nick Fury as he transformed into Loki, god of Chaos and Deceit.

Next thing Deadpool knew, he was spiraling into a dark tunnel, falling at a speed slower than light, but faster than sound, he was spinning endlessly, his eyes were pried open, and his brain was unable to process what was going on, it felt like he was not in a dimension at all, but in between. Although he knew that inevitably, everything would eventually fade to black.