You can take her back... but on one condition

“Are we there yet?”

“No.”

“How about now?”

“No.”

“And now?”

“NO.”

“Now?”

“NO!”

“Aww...”

“Haydes, look,” Twilight started, barely holding herself from sending all their deal to the pits of Tartarus… with Dash as well, “There is a huge distance between us and Chrysalis’ location, remember? I warned you about it, but you didn’t mind walking all this path. So what the hay?”

“But we’ve been walking for such a lo-ooo-ong time!” the ruler of the afterlife moaned.

“Ahem. Actually, we haven’t even left Ponyville yet.” Twilight answered, pointing to the library at a distance of about a hundred yards from them.

“Oh. W-well, it doesn’t change anything!”

“I can feel it, Twi - she’s gonna drive us crazy in no time,” whispered the parrot on Twilight’s shoulder.

“I know. But what’s your suggestion? Tell her to buck off and leave you in the afterlife?”

“Well… I won’t lie, it wasn’t that horrible in there—especially in my real body—but I’d prefer being in Equestria, still.”

“Precisely. So, we need to tolerate her until we will arrive to—”

“Hey, girls! Listen, I’ve got an excellent idea!”

Both mares—figuratively speaking—shuddered at the same time.

“Yes, Haydes? What’s on your mind?” Twilight carefully asked, ready to stun her in order to give them time to flee. She wasn’t sure that it would work… but it was far better than letting Haydes implement another crazy thought.

“How about if I make our travel faster?”

“Faster? What do you mean?” Dash asked.

Haydes laughed.

“It’s elementary, my dear Rainbow Dash. I forgot completely about the hekatonkheires. They actually were meant to be guarding my kingdom alongside Cerberus… but all they’re doing is telling vulgar jokes to each other and gobbling up my ambrosia stocks when I’m not looking. Finally I can make them do something useful.”

“Hekaton-who? Twilight, do you know who these guys are?” Rainbow Dash asked, puzzled so much that she tried to scratch the back of her head with her beak.

“I’m afraid I do...” Twilight answered, preparing for the worst.

In the meantime, Haydes was performing her summoning spell.

The earth suddenly began to shake.

“They are punctual, l’ll give them that,” the ruler of the afterlife remarked.

Immediately after her comment the surface before them split open, revealing two gigantic figures. Their appearance was so unnatural and wrong on so many levels that nothing was able to describe it.

“Darn, it has been a while since I was here. I’ve never thought I’d see the sky once again.”

“Indeed. Hey, did I tell you that joke about Cerberus being in fresh air?”

“No, you didn’t. Tell me!”

“Okay, here’s the deal—”

“SHUT UP!” Haydes commanded, enraged with their behavior. “What a shame! You didn’t even bow to your queen! What would the mortals think?”

Both giants looked to each other, then casted their gazes towards Twilight and Rainbow Dash.

“I don’t think they’d give even a flying feather ‘bout this, boss,” one of them remarked.

Haydes quickly approached her hapless and unconscious companions.

“C’mon, get up. They don’t look that bad.”

“But they are… so ugly,” Rainbow Dash weakly said, slowly regaining her consciousness.

“Hey!” both giants snapped indignantly.

“Hush, you two. She just didn’t use to see anyone like this.”

“I’d rather eat Celestia’s special royal cake and burn down my library than seeing that on regular basis.” Twilight came to her senses, too.

Before hekatonkheires were able to answer such an insult, Haydes vigorously raised her forelegs to the air.

“Enough! I will not allow you to start an argument. Especially now, when my personal life is at stake!”

“And if any of smart-flank hekatonkheires will say even a word, he will be writing down full names for all ponies in my kingdom from the beginning!” she threatened.

Her servants quickly nodded, shrinking back from her outburst.

“Good. Now, I need your help. You see, we’re heading to one place, but it’s too far away from here. So, you must chunk us towards this direction.” Haydes pointed to the south-east.

“No problem, boss.”

Twilight blinked. “Wait, wh—”

Rainbow-colored, purple and light-green trails painted the sky.

“HAYDES!!!” Twilight screamed.

“WHAT?!!”

“...YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT!!!”

“WHY?!!”

“BECAUSE IT WAS A RHETORICAL EXCLAMATION, CALLED TO POINT OUT TO OUR LACK OF READINESS IN A COMICAL WAY!!!”

“OH!!! OKAY, SORRY!!! WON’T HAPPEN AGAIN!!!”

Chrysalis was lazily lying in the grass just next to the entrance of her hideout, watching detachedly at clouds, enjoying fresh wind and flowers smell and making plans about world domination. Just a regular day, no biggie.

‘It’s been a year or so since my attempt to take over Canterlot. They think they defeated me? Ha! This is so naive! My changeling army is stronger than ever, now, and my emotional devouring power is ready to consume anything. Soon I will lead my loyal servants to Canterlot and… hey, this cloud looks exactly like a little fluffy kitty. So cute.

‘Yeah, and this time nopony will stop me. I will become the ruler of Equestria and then - the ruler of the whole world!

‘...here should be an evil laugh, but I’m feeling myself too lazy to even make a noize. Oh well, it implied anyways.’

Her peaceful thoughts were suddenly interrupted by strange sound. As if a bunch of pegasi were rapidly losing altitude.

“... hold on to me, Dash! I can stop our falling!”

‘Strange. I could have sworn that I heard that voice before.’ Chrysalis thought.

“With what? My wings? I’m a bucking parrot!”

“Crap happens! Use your claws, now!”

A loud ‘ouch’ was merged with the vision of a purple alicorn, who was flapping her wings like crazy in order to make her landing at least slightly comfortable.

After a few second she crashed to the ground, not breaking any bones, though.

“Twilight, your landing could use some work.”

Chrysalis was stunned when she realised that it was a rainbow-colored parrot who said it. She knew that Equestrian animals are smart… but not so smart to talk.

“Sh… shut up… Dash… It was my… first… time… ugh.”

‘Okay, stop acting like a filly who saw Celestia’s rising sun. Time to go and act like a real villain.’

“Well, well. What have we here? Seems like it’s two intruders who has taken a wrong path and came strictly to my hideout,.” Chrysalis remarked, approaching the duo.

“Actually, Chrysalis, the cheese-like black bug thing, there are three intruders. You just didn’t see our friend.”

“Don’t you dare to talk like that to the queen of changelings! I...”

A mushroom-like green cloud which appeared behind Chrysalis stopped her speech. A huge shockwave knocked her off of her hooves.

“I guess it’s her version of Sonic Rainnuke,” the parrot said, absently trying to peck an earthworm.

“Thank Celestia she landed far away from us. I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life as a mummy in the hospital.”

“W-who… was that?...” the changeling queen said weakly, slowly getting up.

“Oh, right. Where are my manners. Chrysalis, let me introduce you to our friend. Her name is Haydes.” Twilight answered.

Chrysalis turned around and saw a green pegasus mare, who ran up to her with a sheepish smile on her face.

“Sorry for the hard landing, but it was the first time for my hekatonkheires to do something like this. Now… where is my special pony?!”

Rainbow Dash and Twilight both nodded toward the stunned changelings queen.

Haydes looked at her. After few seconds of observing a huge bright smile appeared on her face.

“Omigosh, she’s perfect!!! I already fell in love! Would you be my special pony?” Haydes addressed to Chrysalis, “Please, please, please!”

Chrysalis helplessly looked to Twilight and Dash, who were already laughing out loud.

“Um...”

“Please! It would be great if you say yes! We will have a great date in my kingdom! I will show you my palace, my favourite places to visit and a plushie of a chimera I’ve made myself!”

Suddenly all the pieces of a puzzle gathered themselves together in the queen’s head. She finally realised who was standing before her.

‘It’s Haydes - the ruler of the afterlife! I can’t believe in my luck. Just imagine what I can accomplish with her help! Or, if I will be able to devour her emotions… I will be unstoppable! I can’t miss this opportunity. Well, she fell in love with me somehow… but I think I’ll handle it. Okay, now act like you’ve accepted her offering. You don’t need to act suspicious.’

“Well, I sure don’t mind a little da—” Before she was able to finish the phrase, Chrysalis found herself compressed into a bear hug.

“Thank you! I swear you won’t regret this!”

‘Me, too… If I survive this and become a ruler of Equestria, I’m going to ban hugs completely! Agh, my sides...’