When I was little, I felt alone. I wished for an end to the loneliness, and in due time I was relieved. Divine knowledge poured into my heart and mind, and I determined to follow the one who triumphed over pain and death. My life was saved from terminal sorrow, my burdens eased so they were no longer terrible.

I struggled constantly, still, my faith too weak to overcome lust. One day, when the struggle had beaten me for the thousandth time, I stopped reaching for freedom, complacency took hold, and I gradually fell into degeneracy. There was so much pain to endure. The loneliness I’d managed to control began to return in full force, and I was foolish enough to believe that I was helpless. Truthfully, the responsibility was always somewhat my own, and to blame anypony else never did help, nor can it now.

When I was younger, I yearned for the chance to prove myself to You. I wanted to believe I was strong. I know I've had many chances already and that I could have done much better until now, been valiant, not so weak. I ponder as my heart breaks again and again, how my duty, had it been fulfilled, might have saved my Sweetie from the pain she’s had to endure and the danger she’s now in. Now, as I've reached this pivotal moment, I’m grateful I still have the chance to prove my love and loyalty to You.

I'm thankful, because You've helped me grow strong in compassion through pain and grow meek through failure. When I draw on those strengths, I’m happy, and I've been blessed to serve others with the resulting gift of kindness. I'm thankful there’s always hope and that despair is a choice. I pray that I won't let myself pursue it.

Please, help me to know and desire what will bring me and my friends closer to Your superlative joy. If there's any good, kind, and right way to do it, let me cast off convention for Love's sake. Please, let Sweetie and me be happy together for the rest of forever. But, if there is no way, then ... Celestia help me.

Author's Note

Last revision published: 28 January 2015
- for punctuation

Original Note:
~~Maybe still a bit awkwardly worded at parts. Tired.~~
Updated along with the posting of "Chapter 8." Hopefully better now.