Dear Fluttershy,

There are some things I'd like to tell you that I hope might help you while you grow and discover who you are and as you go through hard times, feeling afraid or alone.

Mom says she loves us, and she's usually being honest. The best and truest kind of love doesn’t go away when you do something bad, though. It doesn’t hide when you’re disappointed or scared, it's kind even when somepony like you misbehaves. Mom isn’t perfect, and she forgot to love us. She was hurt a long time ago, and, even though it seems like she's angry at you, her anger is really at another pony and at herself. She doesn't realize now that she's only making things worse by hiding her love.

Even though we don’t blame her, Mom will someday realize and regret how she hurt us. If you grow up to be who I’ve become, it will hurt if you think much about the times she yelled and ignored you, but at least you won’t be scared any more or feel too guilty about what happened. Mom will keep loving you always, and soon she'll show it again. Some day you’ll make her very happy because of who you’ve become.

You’re feeling anxious now because nopony is on your side. It's unfair, but you’ll feel alone for a long time still. The good news is that you’ll be rescued from the worst of it exactly when you’re ready.

I wish there were something more I could say to help make it easier until then. All I can tell you now is, remember you’ll be loved when it matters by whom it matters, and in the end you'll become many ponies’ hero if you’re brave and keep hope for better times.

With all my love and admiration,

future you

Evening settled as Sweetie made her way, carefully unfollowed, from the Crusaders' clubhouse to Golden Oaks library. At the foot of one of the many bookshelves lining the walls of the cozy tree structure, Fluttershy focused intently, quill in mouth, over a piece of parchment. Upon hearing Twilight greet Sweetie Belle, the pegasus looked up, gifting the little pony with the look of adoration the foal loved most. After a rigorous day's work, including helping Twilight organize last night's notes, the yellow pony was relieved to finally see her filly again.

Sweetie settled next to Fluttershy with a fresh reading assignment from one smiling librarian. (If there was one small thing Twilight loved about this situation, it was seeing at least a few of her friends take all of her reading recommendations seriously, for a change.) The smiling pegasus set down her quill and greeted the foal in a whisper. “Hello, Sweetheart!”

“Hello, Flutters!” Sweetie responded likewise, matching the pegasus's happy demeanor. “D-do you mind if I call you that?”

Fluttershy paused to consider the nickname. It wasn't original exactly, but nopony called her by it. She smiled and shook her head. “No. I don't mind. ... I like it.” Most ponies just nicknamed her Shy, which was fine of course, but, sometimes, if she was honest with herself, the timid pegasus felt like it was more of a label than a nickname.

“I thought of it on my way over.” Sweetie was pleased she accepted it. The little filly looked around to check that they were unwatched before leaning across the small gap deliberately left between them, and nuzzling the mare's neck. “I missed you today,” Sweetie spoke tenderly.

The feeling was reciprocated to such a degree that, Fluttershy thought, it almost manifest itself in the very air surrounding her, but she said it anyway. “I missed you too ... a lot.” She looked to either side of them to see if she could return the nuzzle, but a gray pony turned toward them just then, and she decided against it. “Did you have fun today?” Fluttershy asked, eager to hear about Sweetie's day.

“School was good. No homework today, so that's nice! And Mom gave me pudding with lunch,” the filly reported. “Then, after school, I went to the clubhouse.” Sweetie paused and tensed a little. Fluttershy noticed, but let her continue uninterrupted. “I ... I told Apple Bloom and Scootaloo today that I'm in love with a grown-up mare.”

Fluttershy was caught off guard for a moment by the sudden revelation. Her anxiety spiked but was calmed somewhat as she realized Sweetie hadn't named her specifically. “O-oh ... my! H-how did they, um ... take it?”

Sweetie looked up from the ground to meet Fluttershy's anxious eyes. “Really well, I think.” Sweetie smiled. “They were surprised, at first, but ... they understand I'm really in love ... and they promised they wouldn't tell anypony.”

“I—I see.” Fluttershy gave the little unicorn an understanding smile and, despite her worry, was glad that Sweetie, like herself, had a pony or two to confide in.

Before Fluttershy could say more, Sweetie added, “I told them about the times we kissed and ... about what happened after.” Sweetie swallowed and looked down again.

This time Fluttershy was only mildly surprised. After another quick check, the pegasus leaned down, and Sweetie was surprised to feel her nuzzle close to her ear. “It's ... okay, Sweetheart. ... I'm glad you have good friends you can trust.”

The foal was immediately comforted. She still hadn’t become used to the kindness that Fluttershy constantly showed her and expected a worse reaction. Now that she thought about it, Sweetie chastised herself for thinking she’d be angry for trusting her friends.

Though it meant skipping dinner that evening, Sweetie felt she needed nothing more than to be close to Fluttershy. Her stomach felt empty, but she didn't regret the sacrifice in the least. For the next precious half-hour, Sweetie finished telling how her friends had reacted at each bit of information, their ensuing talk of weddings, and Fluttershy, in turn, reported the ordinary events of her day, her animals, her weekly church meetings, and the general nature of Twilight's research.

As the two began to discuss their respective assignments from Twilight, almost on queue, the librarian called Sweetie to her loft to talk. Within the shield, the little unicorn recounted again, at ease this time, what had happened with the Crusaders and was glad again for the older pony's praise for both her trust and her caution. She encouraged the filly to continue prudently with both and took particular interest in Sweetie’s answer to her friends about what drew her to Fluttershy. “Do you feel like, maybe—I mean, what kind of attention do you get at home from your parents and when you stay with Rarity?” Twilight asked.

“Well ... I know they’re busy, but,” the foal suddenly released a heavy sigh, unable to hold back her frustration and grief at her family’s typical behavior, “I get so annoyed at them, sometimes! Really,” the white foal paused, and her eyes glistened, “I know it’s not true, but I sometimes feel like they don’t ever really want to pay attention to me or do things with me!”

“It sounds so frustrating and lonely!” Twilight reflected, wholeheartedly sympathetic. “What about Apple Bloom and Scootaloo? Do you feel like they listen to you?”

“W-well ... They did today, and they do sometimes, I guess more than Mom and Dad, and definitely more than Rarity, but, um ... sometimes I feel like ... like they don’t want to listen either, and then I kind of just go along with what they want, like when Babs bullied us and we did that dumb Harvest Day float revenge-thing.” Sweetie frowned. “But ... I feel sort of ... bad, complaining, you know? I mean, they’re my friends, and they ... really care about me.” Twilight nodded, understanding, and made a mental note, interested to learn bit by bit what made the filly tick.

Before adjourning, the foal and the princess discussed yesterday's reading followed by which sections Twilight recommended Sweetie focus on today in 100 Questions Foals Ask About Life. Fluttershy's turn came next, and Sweetie set to reading for the next hour before being called up again. Though their joined meeting was only a half hour, by the time it ended, it was nearly time for the two to go home.

Sweetie bit her lip and hoofed at the floor softly as they stood and prepared to leave the loft. She had to act now, or what she wanted would likely not happen for at least another day. She couldn't wait that long to try. “Um ... Princess Twilight.”

Twilight turned to Sweetie. She'd already told the little unicorn she didn't have to use the title, and normally she didn't. Twilight immediately thought she knew why she had, this time. “Yes, Sweetie Belle?”

“Before we go, is it ... can I please ... give Fluttershy a kiss ... o-on the lips?”

Twilight was right that the filly's tone meant she wanted a favor, but the winged unicorn quickly felt very uncomfortable with what had been asked. Fluttershy's look of sudden surprise was shortly followed by a sincere but apologetic look of interest at Twilight. “I, um ...” Twilight began, but, as she hesitated, Sweetie interrupted with an extended plea.

“It's been two days since we had our first kiss, a-and I'm happy I got to spend the afternoon with the girls today, but ... Fluttershy and I really didn't get to spend much time talking, just the two of us.” Sweetie looked briefly at the pegasus. “Yesterday, well, we got more time, but, even then, I ... just—I miss what we had our first day together, and I know I made a huge mistake and ... and maybe ... I don't deserve to kiss her, really, but—” Sweetie looked longingly at the pony she'd pined for all day, and the beautiful winged mare looked back at her. Sorrow filled her eyes as they ever would when she'd hear Sweetie doubt that she deserved anything she desired “—but I ... please, Twilight?” Sweetie finished softly.

The purple pony carefully considered her answer. Fluttershy's reaction struck her, and a thought occurred to Twilight. “Fluttershy,” the thoughtful princess addressed her friend.

“Yes, Twilight?”

“I remember you said that it was ... seeing Sweetie Belle feel guilty that made you act ... unlike yourself during the incident on the couch. Is that right?”

“Y-yes, that's right.” Fluttershy could see the relevance, but wasn't sure where Twilight was going.

Sweetie cringed, recalling yesterday's joined session and their discussion about how Fluttershy's guilty foalhood gave rise to her hyper-sensitivity. She kicked herself silently, realizing she'd said something unintentionally that might have hurt Fluttershy just now.

“What about right now? Do you feel ... upset at all?” Twilight asked.

The yellow pony pondered the question. “Well, um, kind of ... maybe. I'm ... sad, because I feel like it's my fault,” Fluttershy turned to Sweetie momentarily, “that you feel guilty, Sweetie,” she looked back at Twilight, “but, unlike that time, I guess I feel less stressed, and, also, you're here to enforce the rules, and I ... I trust you, Twilight.” Fluttershy thought hard about the comparison. “I guess ... when we were alone, well ... beside feeling overwhelmed, I imagined cruel ponies setting the rules—telling you,” Fluttershy looked again at Sweetie Belle, “that you weren't a good pony, like, um ... like I was told when I was little, and I was angry, but not at you,” she amended, “at—at them, and at myself.”

Sweetie understood something she hadn't to that point, despite being told yesterday about Fluttershy's trigger. “So ... you really weren't angry at me then.” Sweetie Belle paused to take in the truth.

“I wasn’t.” Fluttershy shook her head emphatically. She looked back at Twilight then back at Sweetie, unsure of whether to continue. Her gaze settled on the floor. “I—I'm ... ashamed that I acted that way. It would never be alright for me to take out what I felt on somepony so innocent.”

“Please ...” Sweetie pursed her lips and her brow furrowed, frustrated with the direction the conversation had taken and knowing Fluttershy blamed only herself, yet again, “if you’re going to take it out on anypony—I mean, I was equally wrong. Even though I didn't know better that admitting I felt bad would make you ... get upset,” Sweetie briefly recalled the frightening moment, “I’m still the one who acted irresponsible while you were asleep.”

“A-alright,” Fluttershy reluctantly conceded. “I understand. Of course, I’m not upset now ... I wasn’t upset at you then for what you did, Sweetie ... even though you acted irresponsible. I was just as irresponsible, even before I ... snapped.” Fluttershy and Sweetie saw eye to eye on what happened, and it began to feel better for both of them. “Um ... Twilight,” Fluttershy addressed her purple friend again. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yes. Thank you, Fluttershy.” Twilight thought quietly a moment longer before continuing. “I haven’t forgotten your question, by the way, Sweetie, I’m just ...” Twilight stopped and sighed. Despite how much she loved to think, all this thinking and all their conversation the past couple hours had tired her. Now, her instinct to honor her friends’ wish fought against what she thought she knew about the kind of relationship they wanted.

“Alright. Here’s the deal,” Twilight attempted to explain what had been on her mind. “You’ve both been very safe since you first came to me, but it’s been very difficult to find anything definitive about your relationship so far. I've found case studies—I mean, information about others who’ve been analyzed, but none of them are exactly like the two of you. Especially, none of the adult ponies have been like you, Fluttershy, or, at least, none of them have come forward like you have to be studied.”

Twilight finally made up her mind. “Sweetie,” Twilight’s voice was tender, “you’re a very lucky filly to have somepony like Fluttershy who puts your needs before her own. Fluttershy, you’re equally lucky to have found a filly who truly seems to care about you the same way you care about her. ... I was thinking, maybe there could be a way to use this chance, letting you kiss, to test your mutual self-control, and gather some data, but ...” Sweetie and Fluttershy both winced at the word, but, “I feel like using such an intimate thing for research ... just isn’t right.”

The two ponies wilted at Twilight’s conclusion.

“... which is why, in light of your progress so far, and your impeccable behavior, I’m going to leave you both here in the loft, shielded and ... completely unsupervised ... for, oh ... five minutes.” Twilight watched the two with an indulgent smile and chuckled softly at their resultant shock. “Is that okay with you two?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy nodded, smiling widely, beginning to blush. Sweetie didn’t hesitate to give the purple unicorn a high velocity hug that nearly tipped them both over. “Oh, thank you, Twilight!”

Twilight blushed a little herself and giggled as she returned the hug. As she trotted toward the exit, she turned and left them with one last word. “I know I can trust you both to make the best of this time without any ... issues.”

No sooner had Twilight nodded and stepped through the barrier than Fluttershy swept Sweetie up in her forelegs, flew with her to the bed, and let her land on the blanket with a soft *pomf.* The filly squealed joyfully. “W-what are we gonna do on the bed?” Sweetie blushed adorably, her smile bashful.

Fluttershy giggled, standing over her. “How about what you asked for?” Fluttershy leaned down. Sweetie reached up. Their eyes closed, and, after what felt like far too long, though it had been just a few days, their lips met again. To say they relished it would be a dire understatement. Outside, the sun set, but their whole world became bright. Love's purpose swelled in them, and joy chased away their loneliness.

A hoofful of the precious 300 seconds they’d been given passed, and their hearts skipped. Their lips separated for half a moment, their eyes opened, half-lidded, and Fluttershy returned again, this time begging the filly’s permission, as she had two days ago, parting her own lips slightly for a taste of the little filly’s. Sweetie’s response came eagerly, her mouth opened, their tongues met, and their passion burned. After becoming familiar again with the inside of each other’s mouths, the two melted, their heartbeats quickened, and their faces flushed more deeply. Feeling lightheaded, Fluttershy retreated. The two shared each other's breath briefly before Fluttershy lowered herself to her front knees, gently resting her breast against Sweetie's barrel. Fluttershy let her head settle next to Sweetie's, and their cheeks brushed and remained touching.

The pegasus released a soft sigh of relief—relief from the horrible ache that had first burned fiercely with fear at what had happened when she abandoned Sweetie to seek Twilight's aid. Afterward, the ache had smoldered, risen and fallen and risen again over the past few days. Though she didn't look it due to careful grooming, Fluttershy had barely slept, eaten only what she could get by on, and, despite keeping herself busy, her home and her animals showed her suffering ever so subtly in their slight untidiness and malaise. Now she let herself, tried to force herself, to forget the pain until, at last, only the smallest amount lingered.

The two closed their eyes, and Sweetie nuzzled the pegasus. Fluttershy shook a little, feeling weak at her heart's racing, and Sweetie opened her eyes, concerned. “Are you alright, Fluttershy?”

“Y-yes, Sweetie. I just ... thought I might lose you, might never get to kiss you again, and, now ... now, I'm very happy.” Sweetie relaxed, wrapped her forelegs around Fluttershy's neck, and nuzzled her once more with a satisfied hum. Fluttershy reciprocated—was tempted to stay that way forever, but, instead, she raised her chin and, stretching her neck to Sweetie's ear, she whispered softly into it. “I love you.” Smiling, Fluttershy gently nipped at the base of the filly’s ear.

The body part spasmed and Sweetie felt blood rush to it and to parts of her face that weren't normally susceptible to blushing. The sensation made her gasp and then giggle. “I-I love you too,” the reply came breathily after Sweetie’s giggling had stopped, and the sound of it made Fluttershy tremble, this time with pleasure. She withdrew and meant to kiss Sweetie again, but the foal slid a hoof to her breast to stop her.

“F-Flutters,” Sweetie looked somberly up.

“Yes, Sweetheart?”

“What if—” she hesitated, not wishing to ruin the moment, but seeing no better chance than then “—what if Twilight doesn’t agree to help us? I mean ... for as long as I’m little?” Sweetie slid her small hooves to the young mare’s shoulders while Fluttershy frowned and thought.

“I—I don’t know, Sweetie.” The pegasus brought her petite muzzle to touch Sweetie Belle’s and her forehead to rest tenderly against Sweetie’s small horn. She felt a sort of vibration between their muzzles, but especially from the small unicorn’s magical nub. It felt pleasant, safe, and soothing.

“You asked me before ...” Sweetie said softly, “before all of this, whether I’d still want to marry you, even if my family disapproved.”

Fluttershy’s ears perked subtly. She only vaguely recalled the question due to the grogginess that had beset her that afternoon. “Mhm,” the pegasus confirmed.

“Well I do ... I mean I would.” The little unicorn ran a hoof up and across Fluttershy’s cheek as she continued, feeling her softness. “I would leave Ponyville if you wanted. ... I do want to get married, but, if we couldn’t and it were the only way, I’d go someplace far away if it meant we could be together like this ... without the rules.” The foal opened her eyes partly to see what the pegasus thought. Though blurry because of their closeness, the delicate pony appeared sad. “I thought ... that might make you happy.” The foal was let down.

Fluttershy opened her eyes and lifted her head. “It’s not that I’m not happy about—that you want to stay with me. It’s that, you’d lose your friends and family if we left, and, well ... it could hurt Twilight a lot if I break my promise to her. I’m sure it would hurt her, I mean. It would hurt a lot of ponies if you left their lives, all just so we could ... be happy together.”

“Oh.” Sweetie understood, but still felt downhearted.

“That’s not the whole reason I’m sad. I’m sad because ... I’d do it. I’d leave with you, if you asked me to and if Twilight couldn’t help us. I’m sad because I’d betray Twilight after everything she’s done for us,” her eyes glistened, “and I’d hurt your family and all of our friends because I ... I can’t—I don’t want to live without you for so long.”

There was a long pause while the unicorn understood more fully. “Oh!” Sweetie marveled quietly, no longer quite so downhearted, but still sad.

The two again rested their muzzles together and thought, feeling the energy between them. Nearly four of their precious minutes had passed before the silence was broken as Sweetie realized their time must be getting short. “Kiss me more ... please,” the littler pony begged.

Understanding the urgency, Fluttershy leaned in and pressed her lips once more against Sweetie Belle’s. Their kiss again quickly returned to where they had left off. In spite of what Twilight had said, Fluttershy briefly let herself forget all boundaries except where her hooves stayed, next to either of the filly’s sides. Against fear and turmoil, each pony desperately clung to the other, and, with their bodies pressed against one another, they went from frenching to nuzzling and back again. Fluttershy strayed to the little filly’s neck, kissing and nibbling it, relishing each high pitched sigh her foal released. She visited the ear opposite to the first that she’d nipped and balanced it out with another soft but eager nibble. ...

As Fluttershy kissed around the base of the little filly’s horn, a sound made its way from outside their protected bubble, startling her, causing her to yelp and jump clear off the bed. If she hadn’t hovered, the yellow pegasus would have undoubtedly fallen to the floor.

“The time has been 5 minutes and 30 seconds,” the friendly familiar voice of their hostess spoke. “I’m deactivating the physical barrier now so that at least one of you can come through. The cloaking spell will remain in effect for another 30 seconds. The last of the evening's patrons are distracted, so it’s safe to step out, but it’ll still be a good idea to space yourselves like last time.”

The two caught their breath for several seconds, and Fluttershy sighed. Sweetie looked disheveled. “Uhm, Sweetie ... I’ll go out first, and you should probably check your mane in Twilight’s vanity before coming.”

Sweetie nodded, still panting and red-faced on the bed. “Alright.”

Fluttershy noted herself in the vanity mirror, fixing a few stray hairs of her own quickly, before exiting the loft. As Sweetie Belle exited shortly after, Twilight greeted her with Fluttershy in the main part of the library.

The librarian squinted at the young filly, then coughed. “Um ... Sweetie,” Twilight whispered.

The filly looked puzzled at the purple princess's tone. “Yes, Twilight?”

“Do you mind if I talk to you privately for just a second.”

“Um ... okay.”

Twilight nodded for Sweetie to follow her to the stairs nearby that led to her basement. The two disappeared for a minute and then returned. “I-is ... everything alright?” Fluttershy asked, concerned.

“Oh, yes, it's fine.” Twilight assured her. “Perfectly normal,” she smiled down at Sweetie then glanced back at Fluttershy with an odd look that quickly vanished, replaced with her usual smile.

Sweetie cleared her throat, a little embarrassed. “I'll, um ... tell you what it was about later.”

At the mention of later, Fluttershy looked outside. The sun had nearly set. “Oh, okay. Um ... speaking of later, I suppose I should get going. Even though I left dinner ready early for the animals, I've still got to clean up and things.”

“I'm sure Rarity is waiting for me now too.”

With hugs and goodbyes between all three, first Fluttershy then Sweetie left the library.

Twilight sighed deeply. What she'd noticed about Sweetie could have been an honest mistake. She hoped it was. In any case, trusting the two had seemed like the right thing to do beforehoof, and Sweetie wasn't likely, she thought, to let Fluttershy get so close to her horn again, knowing that Twilight would recognize the tell-tale signs of its stimulation. Still, bothered by her uncertainty, Twilight set to doing what she preferred most when troubled with a lack of answers. Through twilight and into the night, the purple unicorn's lamps sparked to life, and the young princess set to studying.

Though each was relieved when it was finally behind them for the sheer amount of work and studying they’d done, the days that Twilight, Fluttershy, and Sweetie Belle spent together at Golden Oaks Library were times of bonding between all three. Without Spike’s help to research such sensitive topics, Fluttershy was put to the task of looking up specific volumes, replacing ones Twilight had finished with, and, when Twilight was too shorthoofed or shorthorned to do so herself—as the case sometimes was when she had a room full of floating books to handle—Fluttershy was asked to take notes.

Meanwhile, in a matter of days, Sweetie and, to a lesser extent, Fluttershy had finished reading a sizable amount of literature about relationships, communication, courtship, and sexuality, each suited to the respective reader's level. Generally, Twilight felt that Fluttershy, unlike her foal counterpart, needed less literature and more exercise—usually mental and emotional in nature, through writing. Twilight also didn’t hesitate, however, to give Fluttershy a modest regimen of physical exercise to supplement the short-term treatment which, she hoped, might act as a catalyst to help her friend find better coping mechanisms than her evidently faulty, but understandable—Twilight thought—sexual behavior.

Each pony labored diligently to do her part, and, though Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle continued to make very good progress, the young princess observed, a sure answer to the couple’s safety eluded her. By the end of the week, Twilight finished with the crates of books she’d ordered from Canterlot. Her last resort would be the Crystal Empire’s formidable library, but a visit there wouldn’t be possible for quite some time, and, to Twilight’s dismay, there was still no system for exchanging books between Cadence’s kingdom and the modest town of Ponyville. For the couple’s sake, however, Twilight decided to expedite her decision on whether she would help them stay together.

So it was, with some trepidation, that, after she finished reviewing the summary of her notes for the third time, Twilight called both Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle to deliver her answer. ...

Author's Note

Last revision published: 29 January 2015
- for punctuation, flow, and voice

Original Note:
It was interesting seeing how all of you wondered about a future event that I actually knew for once (usually don't) since I'd written this chapter already, namely Fluttershy's reaction to finding out Sweetie had told her friends. I learned something about how reader reactions affect my choices in writing, so thanks for that!