Enter Equestria

This chapter is ALSO a little laid back, I wasn't really in the mood to write something like, "I WENT UP TO A RANDOM PONY, AND SHOT IT IN THE FACE", I wanted to, kick back, and relax with another 'LBC' (LAID BACK CHAPTER), SO, hope you enjoy.

I woke up in darkness, I was about to say hi to Discord, but then I realized that I was in the guest room I fell asleep in. I walked out of the guest room, to see a bunch of guards lined up against the wall on the left of my room, and the right. I saw the Luna making her way to the kitchen, I went up to her and greeted her.

"Hi Luna, what time is it?" I asked.

"Its 7:30 PM." She replied, my eyes widened.

"7:30, why didn't anypony wake me?" I asked.

"Well, I was, but then I saw how cute you are when you sleep." She said.

"What?"

"What?"

"Anyway, since its late, I feel like doing something exciting to get back to PonyVille." I said. "Tell Celestia I said bye!" I called to her as I ran up the stairs toward the roof.

I was halfway up the stairs to the roof, when I saw Discord appear in front of me, he made the stairs out of Sticky Bombs, so, I did what ANY NORMAL HUMAN BEING would do, I drank a can of BONK! Atomic Punch that I conjured, and gulped it all down, once I finished, I ran up the stairs MUCH FASTER. He activated the Sticky Bombs, but when they exploded, they sent me flying upwards.

"HEY I'M FLYING!" I called out to him, he chuckled to himself.

By the time BONK! wore off, I was at the top of the stairs. I opened the door to the castle roof to see Discord sun bathing.

"Hey Dill, how were the explosions I got from the Scottish Resistance?" He asked, pulling down his sunglasses a bit.

"Didn't hurt." I replied, giving him a thumbs up.

"Ok, where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm gonna go back to PonyVille, the same way I entered it, hopping from building to building." I answered, getting ready to jump to the next roof.

"Alright, I guess I'll catch you later." He said, giving me a Sticky Jumper, with sticky bombs that will only damage your enemies, and not you or your teammates.

I shot two, because that's ALL that I would need, I saluted to Discord, before shouting.

"KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"

And with that, I was sent flying, and OH BOY I was up high, I was sent far and high, I went so far, I was sent ALL the way to Rarity's shop's roof. I looked down from her roof, to see her with multiple bags, heading toward Twilight's.

I called down from her roof. "HEY RARITY!" She looked around confused.

"UP HERE!" I shouted, she looked up and saw me on her roof.

"DILL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY ROOF!?" She called back.

I jumped down to her level.

"Well, this thing I'm holding here, is called the Sticky Jumper, I was launched here from Canterlot castle's roof." I explained, she looked surprised.

"THAT THING, shot you from CANTERLOT!?" She exclaimed, I nodded.

"So, where you headed?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm heading to Twilight's, after a successful fashion show, we decided to have another sleepover, over Twilight's again, this time with the rest of us, even RAINBOW DASH is coming." She said, I smiled.

"I would probably ask this if I was kid, because I would be wondering what a girl does at a sleepover, but, can I join?" I asked.

"Why of course, this time its NOT a girls only party." She replied.

"Alright, get on my back." I said, loading my Sticky Jumper.

"Why?" She asked.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine." I answered, she obliged, and jumped on my back.

I shot two more sticky bombs at my feet.

"Ready?" I asked, she nodded.

"KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"

After a nice flight, we made down to Twilight's place, we landed softly.

"Wow, I'm surprised, that was fun, and I didn't even get dirty." She said.

We walked up to the door, Rarity was about to knock, but I stopped her.

"Its a library." I said.

"Oh, right." She said, opening the door.

We walked in, to see Twilight, Spike, and Fluttershy talking to each other, Pinkie looking HUNGRILY at the food, and Rainbow and Applejack arguing about something. They all stopped when they heard the bell ring above the door, Twilight was the first to greet us.

"Hello Rarity, hi Dill." She said. "We're just waiting to get settled in, while your waiting, you can just go around and mingle."

Me and Rarity nodded, and split off.

I went over to Pinkie.

"Hey Pinkie." I greeted.

"OHMYGOSHDILLIHAVEN'TSEENYOUFORALONGTIMEIDON'NKNOWHOWLONGITSBEENONEDAYTWODAYSTHREEDAYSBUTIMSOOOOOOOOOOOEXCITEDTOSEEYOU!" She said excitedly.

I got right up into her face and began to speak fast and excitedly like her."YOUREXCITED?" I asked.

"IMISSEDYOUIHAVEN'TSEENYOUEITHERSOITSLIKEWEHAVEN'TSEENEACHOTHERFORAWHILEIWASSADBECAUSEYOUALWAYSMADEMEHAPPYANDYOURONEOFMYBESTESFRIENDSINTHEWHOLEENTIREWORLD!" Pinkie let out a big gasp, then fainted.

"Gotcha." I said quietly.

I turned around, to my surprise, no one had even seen that scene unfold.

I walked over to Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

"I'm pretty sure I'm stronger than you." Dash said in a matter of fact tone.

"Do YOU buck apples for a living?" She asked. "Didn't think so."

"But I TRAIN everyday, for the Wonderbolts, I work out everyday, and, A LOT of things have happened lately that HELP that routine." She argued.

"Girls, please, your acting a lot like little fillies." I cut in.

"Your right Dill." They both said.

"Good, because we can ALL agree, that Applejack is the strongest." I said.

"WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Thank you Dill, FINALLY, somepony with a bit of common sense." She replied.

"I mean, you've been working on a apple farm MOST of your life, if you can't knock over the library with one buck, I will blow my head off with The Ambassador." I said.

"Who even uses that, 'gun', anyway?" Applejack asked.

"The Spy." I answered.

"How any weapons does he have?" Dash asked.

"I'll tell you what weapons they all have later." I said, she nodded, and walked away.

"Thank you for that distraction Dill, I was getting tired of that argument." Applejack said.

"I was too, now I'm off to mingle with somepony else." I said, walking toward Spike.

I went up to Spike, who was talking to Rarity, much to my surprise, he didn't show ANY signs of even liking her.

"Hi guys." I said, Spike smiled.

"Hey Dill, we were just talking about you." He said.

"Really, about what?" I asked.

"We were wondering when your birthday was." He said.

All of a sudden, the fainted Pinkie Pie shot up, and ran over.

"Yeah Dill, when's your birthday?" She asked.

"August 22nd." I said. (MY REAL LIFE BIRTHDAY, HINT HINT).

"That's only a couple of months from now." Pinkie said. "What kind of cake do you want, OH, what type of style do you want for your party, OH, where do you want it to be held!" She asked too many questions for my liking, so I answered really fast again.

"IWANTACHOCOLATECAKEIWANTANORMALSTYLEPARTYANDIWANTITTOBEHELDATSUGARCUBECORNER!" I answered quickly, she gave a big gasp again, then fainted.

"That's ONE way to make Pinkie be quiet." Spike said.

"Yup." I said.

"Alright everyone, lets start this sleepover!" Twilight exclaimed, everyone including me cheered.

"Alright, this is actually my FIRST sleepover, so, how would one start?" I asked.

"That's simple, like this." Rainbow said, hitting me in the face with a pillow.

"That's a nice way, NOW, lets have teams, you know, I don't want to kicking ALL of your flanks." I said.

After I conjured a bunch of pillows, we made our forts, and set our teams.

Me, Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy against, Spike, Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight.

"ALRIGHT, BOTH SIDES READY!" I shouted.

"Yes!" Everyone else called back, except Flutters, who gave a quiet 'Yes'.

"Let the PILLOW FIGHT, BEGIN!" I shouted, and everyone was off.

Ponies and a dragon were throwing pillows at each other. Twilight actually conjured a bomb FULL of pillows, and tossed it at us. It exploded, me and Pink's were the only ones fast enough to dodge, Rainbow dodged all of the pillows of the bomb, but was hit by a pillow sent by Rarity.

"Are you just gonna let them do that to us?" Pinkie and Rainbow asked, Rainbow still recovering from the surprise pillow.

"No." I said, summoning the Soldiers helmet, I then summoned a machine gun FILLED to the rim with pillows.

"Its time to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of bubblegum." I said, cocking my machine gun.

"LAST ONE ALIVE LOCK THE DOOR!" I shouted, charging in.

I shot load after load of pillows, one hit Spike dead in the face, three hit Applejack in the side, and one small pillow the size of Twilight's horn at Rarity. Everyone one the opposite team was down except for Twilight, who used a force field. She sent out a shock wave of pillows, that hit everyone on my team except for me.

I tossed my machine gun, and cracked my fingers.

"Lets settle this like Gentleponies." I said, picking up a pillow from the ground.

"Agreed." Twilight said, picking one up with her magic.

"Get her Dill!" Rainbow shouted at me.

"Kick his butt Twilight!" Spike shouted at her.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaah!" We both let out a battle call, then ran for each other.

I jumped over Twilight as we ran, and hit her back, making her fall on her side.

"You were good Soldier, real good, maybe even the best." I said, Twilight nodded, pulling her head back, ready for the hit.

I pulled my pillow back . . . just to get hit from behind by Rarity's pillow.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rainbow and Pinkie exclaimed.

"You were good kid, real good, but as long as I'm here you'll always be second best." She said.

"Well, that was fun." Rainbow said.

"Yeah it was!" I exclaimed.

"Alright, who's up for a little, spin the bottle." Rainbow said, game face on.

Everyone cheered but me and Flutters.

"Um, I don't know." She said quietly.

"I'll do it, but won't like it." I said.

I conjured a bottle, and laid it down.

"Alright, we're gonna make this a little different, if the bottle lands on someone, whoever spun it, has to dare that pony to do ANYTHING." Rainbow said.

"Alright, MUCH better." I said, Flutters STILL looked unsure.

"Uh, I'm still kinda nervous." She said.

"Don't worry, no one in their right mind would dare YOU to do something crazy." I said, everyone nodded.

"Good." She said.

So, everyone sat down around the bottle, since it was Rainbow's idea, she went first. She put her hoof on the bottle, and spun it.

Of course, luck would have it, it landed on ME, GREAT.

"Alright Dill, I dare YOU, to go up to someone in this room, and sing a part of an embarrassing song to them." She dared.

I thought for a moment, and thought of THE PERFECT SONG, Lonely Island, Jizz In My Pants, first part. I went up to Applejack, and began to sing.

"Lock eyes from across the room

Down my drink while the rhythms boom

Take your hand and skip the names

No need here for the silly games

Make our way through the smoke and crowd

The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud

Move in close as the lasers fly

Our bodies touch and the angels cry

Leave this place go back to yours

Our lips first touch outside your doors

The whole night what we've got in store

Whisper in my ear that you want some more

And I

JIZZ IN MY PANTS

This really never happens you can take my word

I won't apologize, that's just absurd

Mainly your fault from the way that you dance

And now I

JIZZ IN MY PANTS

Don't tell your friends or I'll say your a slut

Plus its your fault, you were rubbing my butt

I'm very sensitive, some would say that's a plus

Now I'll go home and change" I sang, everyone in the room busted out with laughter except Applejack, who looked shocked, and a bit embarrassed.

"That was, uh, something." Applejack said.

"Yeah, are you not turned on?" I asked lustly, she blushed while everyone in the room giggled.

After that, we played sin the bottle for a while, I'll just skip most of it, because, all of the dares were girly or too childish, but, here's that last one that we did, which just so happened to be the most interesting.

Pinkie spun it, and it landed on Rainbow.

"OOOOOOOOOOOH, I KNOW THE PERFECT ONE, RAINBOW, I DARE YOU TO MAKE OUT WITH DILL, FOR TWO MINUTES!" She exclaimed.

"Whaaaaaaaaa?" I asked, while everyone else excluding Rainbow, let out an oooooooooooooooh.

"Uh Pinkie, isn't that a little TOO extreme, I mean, we are friends." Rainbow said.

"A dares a dare Rainbow Dash." Pinkie said, everyone else nodded.

"Ugh fine, pucker up lover boy." She deadpanned.

"Alright, Skittles." I said, she shot me a confused look, I summoned a bag of skittles.

"TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHER FOOPER!" I exclaimed, shoving one in her mouth.

"MMMMMM, these are good." She said.

"Yeah, hope that's what I taste." I said, puckering up.

We both puckered up, and inched closer to each other, until finally, they touched, and it felt WEEEEEEEEIRD.

I won't talk about the ENTIRE kiss, but let me tell you, she didn't taste like skittles, minty though.

After two minutes of making to the out, I finally backed up, Rainbow was blushing, everyone in the room was giggling, I wanted to, well, sleep, I felt kinda tired.

"Ugh, I'm going to bed, if you need me, I'll be dreaming about ponies." I said, getting up, and plopping down on a random sleeping bag.

"Uh, Dill, that's mah sleeping bag." Applejack said.

"Meh." I replied, waving my hand at her, I then went to bed.

After a few hours of sleeping, I woke up to something poking me. I turned over to see Rainbow.

"Hey, what's up." I said tiredly.

"Hey Dill, you remember that kiss we did?" She asked.

"Yes Rainbow, it didn't mean anything, and we can continue being friends." I answered.

"Yeah, sure, that's it." She answered, and little sad.

I fell asleep after that.