A Derpy Apocalypse

Derpy and Gunny continued to walk down the long staircase. As they walked, the pair got to know each other.

"So, Gunny," Derpy said, "where did you shooting?"

"Well," Gunny replied, "I usually did it at home, but sometimes I would head over to the Ponyville archery range, but they have a special place for mechanical weapons, like pistols and stuff. So, they let me in the class, along with three other ponies. Speaking of which, you're about to meet one of those ponies. He's apparently pretty popular."

"Well, that would explain a lot," Derpy said.

"Yeah...haha...excuse my stupidity," Gunny said blushing from embarrassment.

"Don't worry. I like stupid ponies!" Derpy said. Gunny stared at her for a minute with a blank face. "I guess that could have been worded better...Anyway, back to the point...at the firing range there was you, Big MacIntosh, and the other two?"

"Both of them were mares. They both had cutie marks that indicated a talent for music. One had a Canterlot accent with a grey coat and black mane. Her cutie mark was a treble clef. And the other had a sixteenth note as a cutie mark, she had royal and right blue streaks in her hair, and she had a white coat and red eyes." Gunny responded.  "Oh and the grey one...Oct--octo...octa---"

"Octavia?"

"Yeah, her. She had purple eyes."

"And the other one was Vinyl right?".

"Yeah! I remember now, we talked for a bit and we introduced ourselves to each other, I just didn't remember that was like...a month ago."

"Mm-hm."

They kept walking and eventually reached the door to the safe house. Gunny put his hoof on the handle and twisted it.  He opened the door and revealed a huge underground room filled with munitions and food.  But there were lots of pain pills. Lots of pain pills.

"Would you say, perhaps, you had enough freaking pain pills to last you your life?!" Derpy exclaimed.

"Well, we actually had more, but this is a couple of days with Big Mac, they don't last long." Gunny replied in a dull tone.

"Hey Gunny! Who was that?!" Big Mac shouted from the other room. It sounded like is mouth was full of cotton. He came out of a room with some pills in his hoof.  He swallowed and shoved about ten more pills in.  "Err whrr drd yrr frnd hrr?" Big Mac asked.

"Mac...." Gunny said.  "She was was walking from Fluttershy's cottage and---" Big Mac spit pills on Gunny and blurted.

"Holy crap! That's Derpy Hooves!" Big Mac shouted abruptly as Gunny started wiping pills and spit off of his face. "I didn't know you were capable of using such weaponry!"

Derpy kicked him down and pinned him to the ground with her hind leg. She pulled out her pistol and aimed it at his head. "And you're fixing to find out if you don't learn how to conserve supplies and stop spitting on people. Now, would you kindly NOT piss me off and make some use of yourself?"

Both of the stallions were stunned by this behavior. Big Mac put up the container of pills he had and kept his distance from Derpy.  Derpy knew she had earned respect from both the stallions, and she decided to use it to her advantage.  She pulled out a waypoint indicator beacon, and started walking around.

"Crap, no signal to waypoint home. Gunny, I need you to come above ground with me and help me set a waypoint here, so we can get back to the house if we are lost looking for supplies," Derpy said. She grabbed an M4A1 and a combat knife off the wall and tossed the gun to Gunny, and threw the knife right beside his head making it stick into the wall. This, putting it lightly, scared the crap out of Gunny.  He trembled as he took the knife out of the wall.  Derpy held out her hoof to pick him up.

"No...I'm fine..." Gunny said.  Derpy grunted and grabbed his hoof and pulled him up anyway. "Very rarely do I give another pony, especially a stallion, my hoof, so if I do, I don't let them decline my offer."

Gunny stood stunned for a minute. "Why me, then?" He asked.  Derpy stopped for a minute.

"Figure it out," She responded, and then walked up the stairs.

Gunny froze for a minute, and then ran up the stairs to catch up with Derpy.