A Derpy Apocalypse

As Derpy and Gunny were walking up the staircase from the basement, they could hear the increasing volume of undead moaning.  As they got about 4 steps from the exit, Derpy held up her hoof as a halt motion.  Gunny stopped in his tracks.  Derpy motioned him to get out his pistol, and he did so quietly but hastily. Derpy slowly opened the door peeking out around it and spotted the zeds they had been hearing half the way up.

"Okay, I see about um..." Derpy counted the zeds. "Four zeds." She said.

"That's good right?" Gunny whispered with some happiness in his tone.

"No, according to how much moaning we heard, that means that most of them are hidden, I would say there's about six or seven more." Derpy concluded. "So stay close."

"I'll have no problem with that." Gunny stated proudly. Derpy gave him a strange look, and once he realized what he said he corrected himself by saying, "I mean, that won't be hard because that's a basic thing and it's obvious and---"

"You calling me an idiot?" Derpy asked.

"No I...coglioni!" He said.

"idiota." Derpy responded with a grin.

"Cazzo!" Gunny said back.

"porco demonio!" Derpy said again.

"Salute!" Gunny said.

"Bless me?" Derpy asked.

"Crap...okay back to the plan what are we going to do?" Gunny asked in a frustrated tone.

"Just follow me sweetums." Derpy said with a quiet laugh. Gunny laughed, but was still a bit pissed at his mistake. The two slowly made their way over to one of the zeds. Derpy took out her machete and slit it throat open and disconnected the nervous system from the brain.  She slowly put the zombie on the floor and walked up to another, as she was doing so, Gunny stepped on a creaky board.  This, unfortunately for the two, attracted the horde around the area.  Derpy quickly swung her machete and sliced the zeds head clean off it's neck leaving a pool of blood on the floor where the head landed and a bunch on the ceiling before the corpse fell down.

"Alright Gunny, time to drop some carcassa!" Derpy said taking out her M249 and firing the .50 Caliber rounds blowing up heads left and right.  Gunny took out his weapon and fired away at the zeds.  While Derpy was firing at the zeds a different type of zed came up behind her and pounced her.  She screamed and tried to get free of it's grip before it could hurt her.  She gave up and as she was pinned by the thing, she quickly looked over the details.  It was more muscular, it had long claws coming out of each hoof, covered in blood, saliva dripping from it's mouth and sharp teeth.  It let out a horrifying screech as it got ready to tear Derpy apart.  Before it could Gunny swooped in and tackled the zed, and proceeded with clubbing it's face in with the back of his pistol. With each sound of breaking bone and impact he hit harder until he literally broke through the skull, shattering it in to pieces, along with the brain.  He flipped his pistol and fired accurately at most of the zeds, for the one he left off he threw a knife at it's face, allowing it to penetrate the zeds eye and stay in it, giving Gunny enough time to shoot another bullet tearing through the zombies face.  He retrieved his knife and held his hoof out to Derpy, who was still staring at him in awe.

"You coming, 'sweetums?'" He asked with a grin on his face.  Derpy grabbed his hoof and stood up.

"Yeah, I guess." She responded, taking out her Waypoint Indicator.  "Alright I'll place this here and we should be good, now go back downstairs I'll meet you back there alright?"

"Okay..." Gunny said, he was still holding her hoof.

"What are you implying by the fact that you are still holding my hoof?" Derpy asked.

"Uhm...Well...I...Uh..." Gunny said, trying to find an excuse. "I didn't notice I was...!"

"Likely story, just go back to base and see what's next on our agenda, if there is nothing else, I'll make one."

"Oh..Okay..." Gunny replied, slowly letting go of Derpy's hoof and walking back down the staircase.  As he disappeared from sight, Derpy smiled and placed the Waypoint Indicator down and walked back into the basement.