Ramblings of a Gloomy Pony

I never once thought that I would be keeping a journal but here I am writing in a damn journal. Anyway I suppose I should explain my….unique situation. It started two months ago  I had just finished up my shift at the bookstore and was on my way home when it happened. A thunderstorm had just blown in and there was lightning and scary booming noises all over the place, needless to say I HATE thunder with a bloody passion. If I could stab a storm cloud I would….I should probably ask Dash if she could arrange something like that actually. I’m getting off topic, I was making my way to my car when a bolt of lightning hit a tree nearby. The flames danced on the shrinking branches until they were put out by the cool quiet rain. It was a neat sight but I decided that maybe I should run to my car, wouldn't wanna get soaked after all. That’s when things got weird; lightning had struck again only this time it hit behind me. Needless to say I got the fuck out of there and as I ran the lightning somehow chased me like a shark who had just smelled blood in the water. How something like that was even possible I don’t know but I do know that  fucking Mother Nature must have been on her period or something and I was the poor soul who had to face her angry death inducing hormonal wrath. Alas all good things come to an end and eventually due to a combination of being underweight and out of shape I got hit and after a quick blinding amount of pain everything went white. When I came to I found myself in a forest. It was dark but in a cartoony kind of way, it looked familiar somehow. I got up and I immediately knew something was wrong. I was shorter and for some reason I felt like I was crawling only I wasn’t . Against my better judgement at the time I looked down at the ground and saw that I had hooves. I freaked out for what seemed like an eternity, it was 5 minutes according to Pinkie though, and after I was done flailing around on the ground, foaming at the mouth,  babbling, and cursing everything around me to a slow painful chlamydia induced death I saw them. Big blue eyes and a smile as wide as the sky itself, Pinkie Pie. That’s when it hit me, I was in Equestria. I was in the world of my favorite tv show. I was a little pony.

***

Alright it’s just Pinkie Pie, she’s probably here to intr….

“OMYGOSHHIAREYOUNEWI’VENEVERSEENYOUBEFOREAREYOUNEWTOPONYVILLEIMPINKIEPIEWHATSYOURNAME?”

..oduce herself. Oh good god she talks just as fast as she does in the stories! Alright names names come on think of something

“Umm my name is Gloomy.” I could see some confusion wash over her face. Gloomy was probably an uncommon name here or something. I knew I should have gone with Dynames….forgive me Lockon…..

“Gloomy? That sounds like Gummy my pet alligator!! I bet you guys’ll be bestfriends!!” She pulled me into a hug afterwards and I gotta say despite her seeming a little pudgy she was strong. She let me down after a few seconds and eyed me over with those big blue eyes of her until she tilted her head in an adorable way and pointed her hoof at my flank. “What’s your cutie mark mean?”

My cutie mark?

I looked back and saw that I had a white cloud with a keyhole in the middle of it. While I was at it I managed to get a good look of myself too. I was an Earth Pony,  I had white fur, a black mane that was styled like a small pompadour, a large black layered feminine looking wavy tail and black hooves.

I would have a chicks tail……but damned if I don’t look good

“My uhh cutie mark means I’m good at lucid dreaming.” I am good at lucid dreaming and cutie marks are supposed to reflect what your talent is so maybe I’m right

“Luci wha?”  That confused look of hers made a return and she tilted her head again in that same friggin cute way.

These damn adorable ponies

“Oh I know!! I’ll ask Twilight she knows everything!!!” She grabbed me and took off so fast even Rainbow Dash would be jealous. Before I knew it we were in Ponyville knocking on the library door that houses everyones favorite obsessive compulsive brown nosing princess.

Stop and wait a sec,

Oh when you look at me like that my darling,

what did you expect

“Gloomy”

I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck

“Gloomy!”

Or I did last time I checked

“GLOOMY!”

I was suddenly snapped back to reality, “Wha?”

“Gloomy this is one of my best friends and Equestria’s newest princess, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Pinkie wore an illuminating smile and Twilight’s face was a light tint of red, most likely from Pinkie’s description.

“Oh uh hi there my names Gloomy its a pleasure to meet you Twilight.”

“Princess Twilight”

“Yea that”

Twilight giggled from the little exchange me and Pinkie just shared and then motioned for us to come in. The treebrary was bigger than I thought but other than that it looked pretty much like the library we saw on the show, well except for a few things here and there. All the books were in order, everything was clean, a small desk with a stack of papers was off to one side and up stairs I could see her bed and Spike’s basket. After we sat down I noticed something, something that shook me to my core.

Twilight’s taller than me…..friggin Alicorns and their stupid bigger bodies. Well at least I’m taller than Pinkie. I am right?..........I’m the same height as Pinkie…..great I’m a stallion who’s as tall as a mare, fan friggin tastic.

While I was off brooding in my head about how lame it is that pony world made me short  Pinkie and Twilight we’re discussing Lucid dreaming.

“So Pinkie what brings you to the library?”

Pinkie inhaled a deep breath and began, “Weeeelllllll I was at Sugarcube Corner when suddenly my tail started to twitch and I knew that something was gonna fall so I went outside to look for whatever was gonna fall because you never know what it could be. It could be another cotton candy cloud with chocolate rain or it could horde of cupcake men come to liberate their people at Sugarcube Corner and they could falling from the sky from gingerbread birds while using gum parachutes in an attempt to catch us off guard buuuuut no it was Gloomy. I found him in the forest rolling around babbling until he calmed down and we talked and he told me that his cutie mark means that he can lucid dream and I didn’t know what lucid dreaming is so I said that we should come here and ask you and we did and I asked and you listened.”

Pinkie exhaled as she finished and Twilight had this “wow” on her face.

“W well lucid dreaming is when somepony basically becomes aware of the fact that their dreaming, usually by using certain signs to do so, and begin to manipulate their dreams to whatever they want it to be.”

Pinkie’s eyes went wide with excitement, “OH MY GOSH THAT SOUNDS AMAZING!! I COULD PLAN OUT SO MANY PARTIES IF I COULD DO THAT. I COULD THINK ABOUT WHAT I WANNA DO WITH MY FRIENDS AND THEN DO IT WHEN I WAKE UP EEEEEEH.”

Twilight giggle at her friends pure hearted excitement, “Yes you could but lucid dreaming isn’t all that easy to do, in fact it’s quite difficult.” She put a hoof to her chin and began to think, “In fact I don’t think I’ve ever heard of somepony being good enough at it to get a cutie mark about it.”

“Gloomy”

Not my fault I’m short

“Gloomy”

It’s just poor genetics

“Gloomy”

Err I guess in this case it would be unfair fucking horse magic

“GLOOMY!!”

“IT”S CHEATING”

“What?!”

“Oh uhh n nothing.” I said with a sheepish smile hoping that Twilight doesn't question the matter

“W well I was wondering if you could tell how you became so good at lucid dreaming and perhaps about where you’re from.”

Where I’m from?

“Y yea I can do that”

I hope…..