Ramblings of a Gloomy Pony

Needless to say I didn’t know what to tell Twi, since Applejack wasn’t there I could probably lie to her and get away with it  but that would probably come back to bite me in the ass later. I could tell her the truth and she’ll probably think I’m crazy afterwards and, since shes top bitch now, have me sent to an insane asylum. I don’t do well in enclosed spaces, to say the least, so I definitely wanna avoid that. Well jail dodging and cheating ass alicorn magic aside I did notice a few things that seemed different. She did seem noticeably taller than she did in show, she looked like she was as tall as Cadence or Luna. I’d figure out the details behind that later but at the moment I was more concerned with trying to figure out what to tell Twi, its not exactly easy to tell someone that you learned how to lucid dream because you thought life was boring and would rather fight imaginary monsters and dragons, and she’s not exactly the type of pony to back off when it comes to learning something new. So I resorted to every mans ace in the hole. I called her pretty.

***

“Wow you’re pretty.” Twilight was taken back by this. A slow blush started to spread across her face as she registered what I had just said.

Huzzah!! It worked. My nuggets are out of the fire now

“T t thank you no ones ever told me that before but I’d still like to know about you”

` aaaand my nuggets got tossed back on the grill FUCK. DAMN YOU MCDONALDS AND YOUR DOLLAR MENU NUGGETS…..they have dollar menu nuggets right?.....did I really just value my balls at one dollar? Damn my self esteem sucks….

“W well if uhh you really must know I’m from Mustangia and I uh learned to Lucid dream because I always kinda wanted to fly”

“Oh, was it difficult? I know that some people use signs to help them become lucid, what did you use? How long did it take you to go lucid the first time? Can you do it naturally now? Do you ever have trouble waking up? Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis while trying?”

She doesn’t beat around the bush

“Oh no!!” Me and Twi both turned to face Pinkie who had a sad look on her face

“What’s wrong Pinkie?” Twilight didn’t sound too worried. She probably figured out what was bothering her anyway.

“I wanna ask questions and get called pretty too but I gotta go work.” Her mane deflated and her ears fell to reflect her mood

Pinkamena………....shit shit shit shit shit shit. I’m gonna die, I’m gonna die, I’m gonna fucking die. Wait….ace in the hole

“PINKIE YOU’RE PRETTY”

Pinkie’s mane sprung up and her ears bounced up as she attacked me with a surprise hug

“Awww THANK YOU”

Fuck yea ace in the hole saves the day again

Pinkie let me go and start hopping around happily, “Hey I got a great idea!! Why don’t you two come down to sugarcube corner for some cupcakes!!”

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

“I LIKE MILKSHAKES BETTER!!”

“okie dokie lokie we got those too!!”

death avoided……

Twilight finally decided to chime in on our conversation, “I’d love to Pinkie but I need to finish my manuscript for Akamare Jump 3, the deadline is tomorrow and by my calculations I won’t be done for another 4 hours 23 minutes and 40 seconds.”

That’s just scary…..

“Oooh thats right you’re entering to try and get a spot in Coltsha again huh? HEY! If you get published this time we can have another CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING PUBLISHED PARTY!!!” Pinkie was bursting with excitement at this point

Akamare? Coltsha? I suppose that these are supposed to be the equivalent of Akamaru and Shueisha. Wait since when was Twilight a mangaka? Is….this a different Equestria?

“T thanks Pinkie but this time lets keep it small I don’t want ponies dis organizing my supplies again…..”

This isn’t the same Equestria….What else is different?

“Hey uuh Pinkie how about we head on down to Sugarcube Corner? You could introduce me to more of your friends too if you want”

She clapped her hooves happily, probably excited to show off her other friends

“I know who to introduce too!! DASH...well if she’s done with her game already..”

Game?

Twilight made her way back to her desk and pulled out the last thing I would have ever expected to see in Equestria. An Iphone.

“Well my I-Hoof…”

Of course….

“..says that it’s past noon so her game should be over by now.”

“umm what exactly does this Dash play?”

Pinkie just laughed, “Soccer silly”

Mangaka Sparkle and Soccer pegasus Dash. What’s next a flying Scootaloo?

“Well umm lets go meet her then if you don’t mind”

I could hear Twilight giggling in the background, “Just like Fluttershy”

Pinkie laughed too and before I knew it she grabbed me and raced on down to the soccer field

While I was hanging on for dear life I could hear Twilight yelling something out, “I’LL MEET YOU TWO AT SUGARCUBE CORNER WHEN I’M DONE”

“AYE AYE SPARKLE-SENSEI!!” I could see her blush slightly from a distance

Fuck yea I made a princess blush ten points for Gryffindor!!!

“ALSO I STILL WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT YOUR LUCID DREAMING SKILLS TOO!!”

I guess I can tell her more about it….later though after I figure out this crazy ass world

“Almost there!!” I could see the soccer field coming up and I mentally prepared myself for whatever this weird Equestria’s version of Dash could be.

Can’t be that bad right?......right?