Sergeant Johnson's New Gig

Smoke continued to billow out of the lip of the cavern-turned dragon den as Johnson continued his ascension up to its precipice. The thick swirling carbon fog emerging from the hollowed out rock almost left the impression that the mountain itself was volcanic, which would be a dire turn of events for the inhabitants of the city over a thousand feet down.

Johnson on the other hand knew that the emissions belonged not to a magma flow, but rather from a living being. An immense being, guessing by the sheer amount of carbon dioxide being emitted.

The potential size of the cave’s inhabitant did little to faze the human, as he neared the top and began to pull himself up onto the talon-trounced rock platform outside the entrance. The Sergeant had stared down eight-feet tall Sangheili, equally tall Jiralhanae, and taller still: M’Galekgolo, surviving every time. What stood before Johnson now however, was still far more imposing than any hunter, elite, or brute he had ever seen. Just beyond the cave’s gaping maw of an entrance, was the dragon whose existence had been hinted at by Luna.

Thankfully fast asleep, the massive winged lizard had her face and eyes towards him. Her snoring snout was obviously the cause of the noxious emissions Johnson now had to sidestep and avoid. Her massive eyes were drawn tightly shut, but even in sleep the beast’s mighty form would easily make lesser beings quake in her presence.

Johnson glared at the prone dragon, still sizing it up. Her scales were a brilliant ruby red. A pair of massive wings were furled up between four powerful legs that could likely squash a pony as if she were an ant. Each leg ended in razor sharp claws that could dig a ditch in seconds. The individual claws, even those of the smallest digits, were bigger than Johnson’s head. Her ruby-crimson body ended at the arrow-shaped tip of her long tale, which was lined with symmetrical spikes.

Surrounding the beast were several piles of bones piled near bonfires. The fires were not fueled by well cut logs or lumber, mind you. They were entire tree branches, likely ripped out of the Everfree Forest, piled atop one another and burning almost white-hot. The bones themselves largely belonged to sheep, bears, full grown elk, and even the occasional manticore, judging by the skulls. Strangely, Johnson felt the impulse to pick one of the skulls up and carve a goofy symbol into it.

Ever so quietly, Johnson approached the slumbering beast. Sticking strictly to his right opposite the direction of the smoke, he entered the cave. Going six feet or so in, Johnson took up a position atop a boulder pile against the stone wall in an almost casual fashion, folding his arms and getting a look at the area surrounding the dragon.

A shimmering light drew the human’s eyes towards the rear of the cavern. Johnson’s jaw dropped to the floor at the sight before him.

Resting within reach of the blood colored dragon’s powerful spiked tail were piles upon piles of precious gems, the light of the bonfires glinting off of them. Johnson had found the dragon’s horde, and then some. Priceless diamonds, sapphires, and most plentiful of all, rubies were scattered amongst each other, with not a thought granted to organization or separation.

“Cha-ching!” Johnson exclaimed under his breath.

Suddenly, a rogue piece of loose stone shifted beneath one of Johnson’s massive armored boots. It made a loud ‘thump’ as it struck the cave floor and bounced thrice. The stone had been made slick with condensation from where the dragon’s body heat and activities had been melting away snow and ice.

“Oh, dammit!” The Sergeant whispered.

***

A falling stone’s sound echoed loudly across the cavern and reverberated all the way out to where Rainbow Dash still stood miserably in the snow.

The poor mare's teeth chattered and her skin shuddered under the unforgiving bite of the frigid winds. Amidst the numbing cold, her wings had remained unable to operate properly. Even attempting to flap one of  the stiff appendages as normal, sent massive jolts of pain down the pegasus’ back and sides.

Rainbow growled in frustration in between her chattering of teeth. “Ugh, after we get off this Celestia-forsaken mountain, I’m not going anywhere near snow for a very, very long time!”

Upon hearing the clacking of falling stone up ahead, she snapped her head instantly towards the cave entrance. “What does that hot shot think he’s doing?!” Rainbow wondered. She then craned her neck, trying to get a better angle.

Not satisfied, she decided to climb higher up the snowbank. From her new vantage point, she observed the proceedings with baited breath, resisting the urge to rush in and challenge the dragon as it shuffled into alertness, investigating its lair for a potential invading pest or pegasus gem thief.

Whether it was the former or the latter, both were equally edible and delicious as far as the dragon was concerned. This was especially true after the screaming usually stopped and the slow roasting was complete.

***

With a jolt, the ruby-scaled dragon opened her eyes and turned towards the source of the disturbance. She surveyed the pile of stones intently through a pair of deep pupils lined by cerulean irises. The top of the pile was devoid of any inhabitants save for several lifeless stones. One of the larger stones had the words ‘Bite Me’, crudely scratched into it.

Having never been exposed to any form of pony civilization beyond the occasional sheep or cow raid, the cave’s inhabitant was unable to read or comprehend written Equestrian. She passed her draconic eyes over the carved taunt without a second glance.

Warily, the massive dragon growled and hissed irritably. She shook off her remaining drowsiness and investigated the rest of her stony den. No sources of antagonism were detected, and everything remained as it always was, much to her disappointment. Expecting to encounter a foolhardy pegasi or griffon adventurer or treasure seeker, or perhaps one of them, the dragon had been looking forward to playing with her deserving prey this time before feeding.

The dragon’s discontentment turned to delight, for the piles of gems nearby beckoned to her seductively with their irresistibly shiny charms. The dragon licked her lips in anticipation for yet another feast. Completely focused on her crystalline dinner, ruby-scales failed to notice the tensed form of Johnson directly above her.

Johnson was clinging to the stalagmites, staring down at the dragon with a building anxiety to jump onto her back. He then noticed what she was doing to some of the gems, his face contorted into one of disbelief. “Scaly face, what the hell do ya think you’re doin’? Those aren't food, FOOL!” Johnson shouted as he dropped onto the back of the dragon.

She roared at the top of her lungs, belching out fire in her anger that she had been outwitted and caught off guard by such a tiny assailant, as well as having her meal so rudely interrupted. Johnson held onto her neck spikes as she arched and shook her back, nearly flinging him off dozens of times.

Outside, Rainbow cringed and nearly averted her magenta eyes from their flailing forms, expecting to witness snack time any second now.

Finally, after getting tired of shaking in an attempt remove her stubborn intruder, the dragon decided a more direct approach was in order. With another mighty roar, she slammed her right side into the nearest stone wall, knocking the human clinging to her into a daze.

Taking advantage of Johnson’s momentary disorientation, the dragon reached back and snatched him up in one of her front talons.

She held him out at leg’s length, analyzing him and his threat potential. The latter was null, as she could now simply but squeeze without any effort on her part, and Johnson would likely be turned into a thick red paste in an instant.

Noticing that he was wearing armor or clothing of some kind, the dragon theorized that he must be sapient. Like ponies and their ilk... She mused. Genuinely intrigued by the possibility, the dragon brought him closer to her face, deciding to learn more about this strange intruder. The human was merely three feet from her face, and her hot sulfur and brimstone-laden breath wafted over to him.

The Sergeant met her curious gaze with a look of vexation rather than fear, which secretly surprised the dragon deeply.

“How ya doin’?” He said to her in a gruff voice.

Pulling her snout into a grin, Johnson got his first glimpse of her rows of razor sharp, pearly-white fangs, each the size of a well-forged dagger. Then, in a shockingly suave and pleasing voice, the dragon spoke to him. “Ahh, so the strange-looking male Yeti speaks, hmm? Fascinating indeed.”

Johnson was as surprised by her ability to talk as she was of his inherent lack of fear. He was also angered. “Did you just call me an abominable snow man, scaly face? You better hope ya don’t let me go now, or I’ll give you an ass whooping so hard, your descendant’s descendants will cry out in pain!”

The dragon countered with a gust of air, which blew back much of the hair that remained on Johnson’s ordinarily shaven head. His cheeks briefly formed jowls as the skin too was caught in the rush of her hot, sulfurous breath. When the gust ceased, she stared at him with mounting hostility. Johnson however, still remained partially unimpressed. “Man, that was really scary! But would you like a mint or two, because your breath stinks like the rear-end of a dead, rottin’ jackal!”

She roared at him again, louder this time. The thunderous sound ended with a crescendo of growls and hisses emanating from deep within her throat. The growls served as a warning that the human had one final chance, as the next roar would be accompanied by a massive gout of skin-melting napalm and hell fire.

Hearing the roars, and knowing that nopony was watching her, Rainbow Dash’s shivering increased, now motivated more so by fear than the cold.

Blinking twice, the dragon looked at Johnson once more, awaiting a more pleasing reply from him. Johnson had been taught the error of his ways. His eyes widened at her, and he chuckled nervously.

“Hehe, I mean what fine...shiny scales you have!” He grinned sheepishly at her, his teeth gleaming like the sapphires in his vicinity. The dragon’s attitude lightened up in an instant, and a chuckle of amusement strummed in her gut. Giving her a closer look, and listening closely to the cadence of her laughing, Johnson’s intuition kicked in, and he finally realized the gender of his reptilian captor. “Hey, you must be a girl dragon, aren’t you?!”

The dragon grinned once more. “Indeed I am, little one. And I must say, you are quite unique to me. You aren't like all those ponies who have so foolishly stumbled in here over the years, seeking treasure that does not belong to them. They always tremble like leaves before me, most fleeing upon the sight of a dragon of my size and age! Tell me little one, what makes you so different?”

Johnson tensed slightly in her uncomfortable grasp. “Ma’am, let’s just say if you've seen all the thing’s I’ve seen...Few things would be able to scare you off either.”

The dragon abandoned her grin, and peered at the human in her talons with a knowing but sad twinkle in her brilliant reptilian eyes. “I sensed it on you, for it is a sense of which I am all too familiar, little one. War? Destruction? The relentless hunting and slaying of your race over the centuries by arrogant lesser beings who are no longer worthy of mercy or diplomacy?”

Smiling mirthlessly, Johnson nodded at her with incredulity. “You’ve read me practically like an open book, ma’am!” The dragon leaned towards him and smiled, not revealing her imposing teeth this time.

“We seem to be two of a kind, little one. Pray tell, who and what are you? And something of your nature would not be up here merely seeking gems, no. What truly brings you here to my lonely abode, far above the realms-where-the-wingless-trot?”

The Sarge scratched his head with the arm he had managed to free, and raised an eyebrow in thought. “Well...ya could just call me ‘badass’, but that’s not specific enough! I belong to the race known as Huuu-man-itaay!”

Johnson chuckled, and both prisoner and captor smiled at each other, painting an awkward scene for Rainbow, whom could scarcely believe that the monster had not eaten the human yet. Behind the dragon’s smile however, a profound curiosity was forming. Did he say humanity? I feel as if I’d heard of a species with that name, millennia ago... Tales of a lost but legendary people... But it’s too obscure now. Bah! No matter, I’m sure its just a trick of my old ears.

The human continued. “I’m Avery Johnson. Most just call me Johnson. I’m a Marine, and all I can say in brief is that I used to kill evil eight-foot tall freaks literally for a living. What about you, shiny scales?”

The ruby-scaled dragon grinned again at the simple two-word phrase. “You may call me Risea, sole living inheritor of the bloodline of Tarkash, once the mightiest dragon brood in all the Badlands! I am daughter of King Vrael, son of Fang, and Queen Glaeda, daughter of Myrrha.”

The dragon by the name of Risea regarded Johnson as he stood still in her grasp, awaiting his reaction, before further divining his intentions.

His response began with a whistle of admiration. “My, my...looks and sounds like someone here has a prestigious sounding background. If I’d known I was in the presence of beautiful royalty, I would have toned down the jackassery, oh, and put on some cleaner underwear!”

Risea blinked at him mischievously. “I shall call you Avery, and I must say, your attempts to beguile me are amusing at best, little one. Now, I shall repeat my earlier inquiry: what brings you here to me now?”

Johnson used his freed arm to point behind his back towards the entrance. “Me and a friend o’ mine could use lift out of here, before I freeze to death.”

“And how, if I may ask, did you end up on the summit near my home in the first place?”

Shrugging nonchalantly, Johnson replied. “Someone brought me back to life, and it turned out that they were doing it several thousand feet, above solid ground! It was a miracle I didn’t suffocate from the damn thin ass air up there, shiny scales!”

“Risea...” The ruby-colored dragon corrected with a roll of her eyes. “And a likely story, Avery Johnson.” Risea concluded with sarcasm dripping off her refined voice. “But I have heard far more eccentric tales before, I’m afraid. And what of this ‘friend’, of yours hmm?”

“She saved me from falling, but we can’t get any lower than this altitude. She’s too hurt, the sissy!” Johnson managed to free his other arm, and folded them at his chest, resting his elbows on Risea’s tree-trunk like digits. "So, can you fly us out of here or not?”

Risea emitted a centuries-long sigh from deep within the depths of her fire-retardant throat. “Very well, little one. Since you did not attempt to steal my horde, and I sense something in you that I admire, I will help you and your associate. Is it the place of the ground-trotters you seek? The land they call Equestria?"

He nodded, and Risea blinked. “In which case, I shall bring you no farther than near their city of Canterlot, Avery.” Suddenly, Risea unfurled her massive wings, the light of the bonfires reflecting off them and casting Johnson in a massive shadow.

“Their kind, especially the winged ground-trotters, and my kind, do not mix. And we never will.”

She set him down gently, and Johnson flexed his muscles and groaned as if he had fallen asleep in an uncomfortable position. He marched outside through the mouth of the cave and waved. “Well alright then, Risea. Let me introduce ya to Rainbow, and you can get us all the hell out of this place, ma ass is freezing!”

Risea chuckled at the human’s discomfort. “Rainbow? Tis’ a strange name for a dragon, don’t you think?”

Johnson shot the red dragon a confused look. “Who ever said she was a dragon?”

“Johnson, what the buck do you think your doing dude? You leading the dragon out here to eat us both at once?” Rainbow Dash shouted, rashly storming out from her perch up on the snowbank that had broken both their falls several minutes ago. In doing so, the pegasus had caught the dragon’s attention.

In a heartbeat, Risea abandoned her friendly mischievous expression, and barred her fangs in a blood-chilling snarl. Before Johnson could react, the dragon had already shifted his far smaller form protectively behind her. Risea then roared and charged straight for Rainbow Dash.

Dash could do nothing but stare wide-eyed at the charging reptile as her wings hung uselessly against her sides and her legs almost refused to move. A mortal terror ran all the way from her head to the tip of her tail.

“DIE, DRAGON SLAYING FILTH! YOUR KIND SHALL NOT DEFILE MY HOME WITH YOUR BLASPHEMOUS PRESENCE!” Risea bellowed, following up with a gout of fire that she blew into the air above them, a show of intimidation and strength against her perceived intruder.

From his location behind her, Sergeant Johnson watched the scenario unfold “Ah, hell!” He stood as tall as he could, and cupped his gloved hands to his mouth. “RISEA, STOP! SHE’S WITH ME! SHE'S THE ONE WHO BROKE MY FALL!”

His words were just barely enough to halt Risea’s otherwise unrelenting charge towards Rainbow Dash. Slowly, the great dragon shifted her stance to glance slightly towards the human, whilst ready to crush the pegasus mare if she tried to make a hostile move.

In turn, Rainbow Dash backed slowly away from the dragon’s massive form, her eyes still widened and her muzzle pulled into a sneer.

“C’mon now...” Johnson said cautiously.

“Avery Johnson, you better explain to me quickly and plainly why you have a member of the race that nearly rendered all of my Dragonkin extinct, before the winged ground-trotter here learns to appreciate fire, the harsh way!!!”