Lucas Chronicles, the Afterstory Part 2: Monster Behind Mountain Dew Interlude; Of Skillets, Waffles, and Other Things

The next day, we gathered our supplies, packed up 'camp', and began our trek to the where the map said the Almighty Waffle of Power was located. Days past as we traveled ever closer to where the map said to go. Those were some fun days. There was never a dull moment.

We made a makeshift raft in the shape of a waffle (I like waffles if you couldn't tell) to traverse various rivers and such;  we discovered a rare, poisonous snake the nearly killed me, but was saved by Fluttershy, who had taken the snake as pet; I almost stepped on a spider that was the size of my hand. I fainted due to me being slightly Arachnophobic. I awoke to a crying Fluttershy as I was informed that Seth squished it with his baseball bat; John pulled his usual shenanigans, ranging from jumping on back and riding me like a horse, random tongue movements with varying sounds, and random songs about wanting to drink Dr. Pepper. There was just general all-around randomness.

After we exited the forest, we were immediately greeted with a desert. I groaned as I looked at the map. To my disdain, it was exactly where we needed to go. We quickly abandoned the aptly named Waffle Skiff. The days traveling in the desert turned to weeks as the sun blazed by day and the moon froze by night. We nearly ran out of water on more than one occasion. Thankfully, we found a small oasis very near to the mapmarker. We replenished our water supply twice over, then continued onward.

Soon after finding the oasis, we finally reached where the map pointed us. I looked up from the map to see, if I know my Skyrim correctly (which, anyone who has read 'Fluttershy's Giant Problem' knows, I do), what seemed to be the entrance to an ancient Nordic underground burial crypt. However, it was unknown to me as to why the crypt was even in the desert anyway. I gave another groan and thought about how to defeat the Draugrs that waited us as I reached for the ancient door. "Well... Allons-y, I guess..."

However, as I neared the door, it burst open revealing a company of humanoid creatures. I stood there, shocked to see other humanoid creatures in Equestria. I counted about nine of them as the company walked right past me, giving various comments such as:

"That was... intriguing..."

"You don't understand, one does not simply..."

"Hey, when are we going to have second breakfast?"

Then, an idea broke me out of my shock. I called out to them, "Hey, um, did you guys happen to find a... um... waffle in there? Probably emitting some form of powerful energy?"

They stopped. An old man with a pointy, gray hat strolled over with his walking stick and towered over me. "What is the meaning behind this preposterous inquiry?"

I looked to Fluttershy and the band and asked, "Should I tell them?"

They all shrugged their shoulders as Korey said, "I don't see why not."

With that, I explained our entire story to the man. He stroked his gray beard for a few minutes before nodding to his comrades. A rather short, scraggly haired boy walked over to us. As he reached into a sack on his back, I noticed a gold ring dangling from a chain around his neck. For whatever reason, it seemed oddly familiar to me...

"Here." The boy handed me a golden waffle with a rainbow aura emanating from it. I paused to examine it. "Well?" he asked. "Won't you take it? Please... I don't know if I can handle two all-powerful objects..." He grasped his ring. "I feel stretched thin as it is..."

That REALLY seemed familiar to me...

But without thinking any further on it, I grabbed the waffle and stuck it in my backpack.

He smiled, "...Thank you." then rejoined his group as they continued on their merry way.

John walked over and raised his hoof for a brohoof. "Alright!! That makes two out of three!"

I brohoofed him back as Korey grinned. "Haha! We'll be human again in no time!"

Then, the realization dawned on me. "...That was a hobbit! THAT WAS THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING!!!"

"Wait," Jen asked, "you mean like, 'Lord of the Rings'? Those hobbits?"

I just nodded, mouth agape. Everyone else's mouths dropped as well, save Fluttershy. She just looked confused.

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We began our journey to the other side of the map. To my disdain, the mapmarker was located on the other side of the desert. And what's worse, after the desert was a large body of water. For a week and a half of utter torment, we suffered through the blazingly hot desert sun traveling in the day and the bone chillingly freezing nights in which we had to huddle close to stay warm.

It was no where near as enjoyable as the forest...

When we did finally reach the body of water, we ran into a few other problems, the first of which being that there seemed to be no end to this ocean.

"Um..." Fluttershy squeaked. "How are we going to cross?"

I smiled. "The Waffle Skiff."

"But-" she started.

I silenced her by holding up one finger. I grasped my Chaos Emerald and said, "Chaos Control!" I walked through the portal that opened and dragged the Waffle Skiff through, placing it in the water.

As we started loading our stuff onto the makeshift raft, Korey stopped and asked, "Wait, why don't we just use that Chaos thing to transport us to the Rogueport city you mentioned to Celestia?"

I explained, "You see, the thing is, I have to focus on my destination when I use the Chaos Control, otherwise the results wouldn't be so great. I could end up in a completely random place. Now, I know of Rogueport from the game 'Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door'. If I use the Chaos Control while focusing on that Rougeport, we most likely will end up in the game. We don't want that, because the Admiral Bobbery we need has to be dead. So, that means we have to sail across this sea, even if that means that we're only guided by our map."

"We don't have a sail..." Seth stated bluntly.

I stopped. Crap. I hadn't taken that into account.

We sat there for like thirty minutes until Fluttershy suggested, "...C-Could we use a sleeping bag?"

I looked at her and smiled. "THAT'S BRILLIANT!!" I jumped onto the raft, undid the binding on my sleeping bag, and rolled it out completely. However, as I went to set it up, I realized that there was no mast. I froze with disappointment.

Seth saw this and reached into his bag. He pulled out a rather long walking stick made from intertwining wood that entangled itself at the top and handed it to me, "Use this. I bought back in town because I thought it looked wicked. I call it the 'Moses Stick'."

I laughed as I broke it in such a way that I could attach it in a cross pattern. I almost felt sick after breaking such a beautiful stick, but Fluttershy asked a question that got my mind off of that. "What... what's a moses? And what does it have to do with the stick?"

I chuckled as I attached my sleeping bag to the mast (rotatable, of course) and responded as I hoisted the machination onto the raft. "Again, it's the Bible. God used a guy name Moses to save Moses' people from some bad guys. He parted an entire ocean just by hitting the water with his walking stick. He and his people were able to cross it completely dry."

Fluttershy's jaw dropped. "Th-that's amazing!"

I laughed. "That's not even the best of it! The Bible tells of even crazier things." I smiled slyly. "But I won't spoil those for you."

Fluttershy face fell into a distraught, disappointed expression. John chuckled as he commented, "I find it fitting that we're using the 'Moses Stick' to cross an ocean. That's awesome."

We gave a laugh at this, including Fluttershy, who was no longer disappointed.

Then, I discovered that we ran into another slight problem.

"Guys..." I started. "there's no wind for our sail..."

We all fell silent. Fluttershy spoke in almost a whisper, "If only our special talents could help here..." she glanced sadly at her Cutie Mark.

I sighed. "Wait a minute..." My mind hatched a plan. "FLUTTERSHY! YOU'RE A FLIPPING GENIUS!!"

She blushed at being complemented, but then furrowed her brow. "...What did I say?"

I looked at John, "Hey, your guys' instruments are still in your hotel room, right?"

"Yeah," he replied. "but I don't see why they're useful in this situation."

I smiled as I grasped my Chaos Emerald. "Chaos Control!" A portal opened to Skillet's hotel room back in Ponyville.

John paused, then smiled, "Ah yeah, baby! I get what you want us to do now!"

He galloped into the portal, followed by Korey and Jen who had also discovered my plan. Seth was the last to trot through as he asked, "Wait, what are we doing?"

Fluttershy frowned. "I... I'm with Seth on this one... I still don't know what's going on..."

I smirked as I continued to concentrate on the portal. "We going to have our very own Skillet concert."

She gave a huge, giddy smile, but then frowned. "But... Why? Not that I'm complaining..."

Seth poked his head back through the portal. "I understand now! It's to create wind from the sound of our music! Now, we can sail through the ocean! But there's one more thing. How are we going to get the instruments to work on the Waffle Skiff?"

"Oh," I replied. "we're not. This is where I come in. I'm gonna keep the portal open so you guys can play from Ponyville. The wind will travel through the portal, propelling the raft. I'm also gonna rotate the sail in direction that the map says Rougeport's in."

No more questions remained. Everyone generally loved the plan. Skillet set up their equipment while Fluttershy and I grinned at each other. We were SO excited that we getting a private Skillet concert!

Then, they started playing as I adjusted the mast with my free hand.

[QUICK AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, this is a full concert below. No, you do not have to watch it. Again, you may have to change the color of the background to see some words clearly.]

Youtube Video

To my joy, my plan had actually worked. Their music was creating wind energy, actually allowing us to set sail!

With that worry gone, I joined Fluttershy who was now rocking out herself. She didn't exactly know all the lyrics, but she enjoyed the concert all the same.

At about nine minutes into the concert, John called through the mic. "Alright guys, I'm gonna need your help with the next song. Shout back to me as loud as you can; let's see if you can do this: IF YOU'RE SICK, IF YOUR SICK, IF YOU'RE SICK OF IT!"

Both Fluttershy and myself started fangirling. 'Sick of It' was definitely my favorite Skillet song, and it was apparently Fluttershy's as well. We shouted back, "IF YOU'RE SICK, IF YOUR SICK, IF YOU'RE SICK OF IT!!"

He volleyed, "IF YOU'RE SICK, IF YOUR SICK, IF YOU'RE SICK OF IT!"

He brought his hoof to his ear as we responded, "IF YOU'RE SICK, IF YOUR SICK, IF YOU'RE SICK OF IT!!!"

He smiled. "Yeah! You're ready!" They began to play the human version, which basically just saying 'hands' instead of 'hooves'.

Fluttershy and I again started rocking out, raising our arm appendages. We couldn't contain ourselves at the chorus. We had to join in. "ARE YOU SICK OF IT?!"

"Raise your hands!"

"Get rid of it!"

"While there's a fighting chance!"

"Are you over it?"

"Bored to death?"

"Have you had enough regret?"

"Take a stand!"

"Raise your hooves!"

"If you're SICK OF IT!"

They continued to rock as we continued to rock out. Then, something happened that I would never have guessed. Fluttershy sang the bridge. Alone.

It started out that she sang the first line with Skillet, "I'm tired of it!"

But then, John stopped singing as the band continued the bridge. "I'm over it! I'm bored of it! Gotta fix this...

I'M.

SICK.

OF.

IT!!!!"

As she screamed 'it' (which was surprising in of itself), I could have sworn I saw something off with her teeth... They seemed to be sharp as daggers. That was NOT normal.

As John continued with part of the song where he gives his speech (my favorite part, by the way), I shot a questioning stare at Fluttershy. She gave an embarrassed smile and blushed.

Her teeth were normal however. It had to have been just my imagination... This thought was quickly silenced by Skillet, as they continued their concert.

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After Skillet performed their entire setlist (minus the pyrotechnics)- consisting of Comatose, Rise, Awake and Alive (with a special intro I'd like to add), The Last Night, Not Gonna Die, Circus for a Psycho, Monster (Fluttershy actually enjoyed this one almost as much as 'Sick of It'), and Rebirthing- I could see the Rougeport docks. Since we had the wind still going the right direction from the concert, I motioned for the band to return to the Waffle Skiff. They complied, breathing heavily.

I didn't notice until they had walked back through, but I could see a sizable number of Ponyville fans had accumulated outside the hotel room window. They eventually broke through to the room (as raving fans do). I began to panic. The Waffle Skiff definitely couldn't handle that much weight. It was edgy with just the six of us. I quickly yelled out, "CHAOS CONTROL!!" and closed the portal.

I didn't realize how tired I actually was up until that point. Concentrating on keeping a portal open for the duration of a rock concert is definitely exhausting. "Hey guys-" I started, but I noticed that the band had already collapsed in the boat, asleep. "Alright then." I commented. I looked to Fluttershy, "Hey, Fluttershy? Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

"I need you to wake us when we get to Rougeport."

She raised her hoof to her forehead in salute. "Aye, aye Cap'n! I won't-"

I was unconscious before I ever heard the end of that sentence.

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"LUCAS! WE DON'T HAVE THE FIREPOWER FOR THAT MANEUVER!"

"QUIET JIMOTHY! IT'S OUR ONLY OPTION!!" I yelled at my Lieutenant.

"BUT SIR! THE ELEPHANT PEOPLE OPERATING THE CANNON COULD DIE!" Jimothy cried.

"Jimothy... have you not learned the term, 'Mistakes were made'? We made a mistake, now we've lost all the cheese ammunition, the Palace of Doritos is in ruins, and the Great Waffle president is a zombie. We can't let this continue... We have to stop this now!"

"But sir!"

"What?"

"They've got a bunny with a hat!"

I paused. "...We're screwed."

Then, there was an explosion, sending me headfirst into a metal beam.

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...I woke up and grabbed my forehead that was now in splitting pain.

"I'm so sorry Lucas..." Fluttershy squeaked. "I didn't mean to roll you into the mast..."

I noticed that Skillet had woken up already. I glared at Fluttershy for giving me a knot on my forehead, but then started laughing, realizing she only did what I asked.

Which reminded me... "Well, my friends," I smiled as I gazed on the front gate of the port-town. "welcome to Rougeport!"