Lucas Chronicles, the Afterstory Part 2: Monster Behind Mountain Dew Interlude; Of Skillets, Waffles, and Other Things

I led the band and Fluttershy back into the center of Rougeport and entered the building with a purple skull spray-painted to the left of its doorpost.

Inside were various ruffians drinking Chuckola Cola and arguing to their hearts' content. Fluttershy seemed uncomfortable by their behavior, but I told her to just ignore it as we walked over to the person polishing a glass behind the counter.

The man with a bean-looking head, circular glasses, and mustache welcomed us. "Welcome. This is Podley's Place, a humble little cola shop where folks mix stories and drinks."

"You Podley?" I asked.

He coolly nodded his head. "Indeed. What can I do ya for?"

"What can you tell me about the famed 'Admiral Bobbery'?"

He set down his cup and exhaled a long breath. "It's been quite a long while since anyone's asked for him... Let me get you all a drink." He poured each of us a glass of Chuckola Cola. I reached into my bag to pay him, but he stopped me. "It's on the house. Now, what do what to know about the Admiral?"

I stated bluntly, "Specifically, where can we find him?"

He shook his head and sighed, "He's been dead for twenty years now, son."

It's been at least twenty years, huh? Wait... Podley doesn't look like he's aged a day! I swear, I'll never understand the Beanbean people...

After that initial thought, I sipped my cola and stated, "We know. But our sources tell us that his soul still wanders this plain of existence."

This shocked the innkeeper. "Wha- Not many know that secret, lad. Yes. After Bobbery's passing, his soul couldn't find peace. My theory is that he still regrets not spending enough time with his wife, Scarlette."

"What happened to her?" Fluttershy asked, taking a small swig of her drink.

Podley replied, "I assume since your looking for his tormented soul, you desperately need him. So, I'll let you ask him yourself." He continued his account of Bobbery, "Although I don't know where he actually is, I know of one who might. Shortly after the 'Thousand-Year Door' incident, Bobbery sailed with the cursed, undead pirate, Cortez."

Fluttershy's eyes grew wide, "...U-U-Und-d-dead?"

Podley nodded his head, "The old sea bomb never returned from that endeavor... Cortez never spoke of it either..."

I then remembered in Paper Mario that Cortez used sail Mario to Keelhaul Key and back after the player obtained the fifth Crystal Star. "I've heard that Cortez used to sail people to Keelhaul Key. Does he still do that? We didn't see him out at the docks when we arrived."

The innkeeper coolly replied, "I believe he does. I had gotten word that he was returning from the island now. Should be here shortly."

I placed my empty mug on the table as I smiled, "Alright. Thank you for your help. We'll be on our way."

My friends set their drinks on the counter. As we turned to leave, Podley picked up his glass and began polishing it again, "It was nothing. If you're ever in town again, my door is open."

"Take care." I waved as we exited the inn.

As we passed through the main gate to the overpass overlooking the docks, I heard Fluttershy gasp in fear. It was then I had seen why.

A old, black ship sat in the docks, almost motionless. It even seemed to defy the water in it's motionlessness.

Fluttershy trembled, "I-Is that C-C-Cort-tez's sh-sh-sh-ship?"

I nodded, "Mhm-hm. Let's go! Allons-y!"

As we took a step down the wooden stairs leading to the docks, I heard Fluttershy whimper. I turned to see that she hadn't moved and started cowering under under the gate. "D-Do we have t-to?"

I sighed. "Yes. Yes we do."

She started backing away towards the gallows hanging in the center of Rougeport, "M-Maybe we could, um, just p-pay one of those nice f-folks at the inn? I s-sure they'd be VERY helpful..."

I gave her a negative look. "You know that's not really a possibility, right? It's gotta be us. Plus, Cortez isn't all that bad."

"Oh," she started backing away further, "I'm s-sure it doesn't H-HAVE to b-be us-"

John nodded at Seth. They both walked towards the trembling mare.

"-I m-mean, th-there's so many b-brave-"

"Ally-oop!" Seth said as he and John hoisted her onto their backs.

"EEP!" Fluttershy froze.

They grinned as as John said, "Let's do it!"

I smiled back. Once again, I stepped down the creaky, wooden stairs, finally landing on the cobblestone ground of the docks.

We briskly stepped towards the old, haunted ship that sat in the harbor. As we hopped on the boat, the giant, floating, head of Cortez appeared, just like it had in Paper Mario.

This caused everyone other than me to jump backwards in slight fright. The head spoke, "Yo, ho, ho! You landlubbers want to head to Keelhaul Key, aye?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but Fluttershy started breathing again. "What's going on?" She started looking around. "Where are we-" she noticed the undead skull of the Pirate King Cortez. "EEEEEEK!"

She fainted again with a goat sound and her hooves straight up in the air as she fell off of John's and Seth's back onto the deck.

Cortez stared at her, "Argh, she'll be okay, right, amigo?"

I laughed, "Yeah, she'll be fine. But, actually, no, we don't want to go to Keelhaul Key."

"Aye, goodbye then." He started to disappear within a mini-tornado.

"WAITWAITWAIT!!" I stopped him.

He stopped spinning and asked, irritated, "Argh, what do you want, muchacho? It's either Keelhaul Key or a good cursing. 'Tis all I can do for you. Ho."

"Podley told us you could help us find the Ever-Wandering Soul of Admiral Bobbery." I stated.

The pirate boss grew silent. "...Then, Keelhaul Key is where you're going."

Jen finally spoke up, "Hey, um, that Podley guy said you were with Bobbery when he died. What happened?"

Cortez ignored her. "All hands on deck! You scallywags ought to have had this ship set sail yesterday!"

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It didn't take long for the ship to reach Keelhaul Key. It was a cursed, undead ship after all. When we docked, Cortez  spoke to us, "There's a monument to Bobbery atop of the mountain of the Pirate's Grotto, compadre. If you want to find him, aye, he'll be there."

We thanked him as we hopped off of his ship, dragging the still-unconscious Fluttershy. Then, I realized something as my hand touched my Chaos Emerald. We may not use his ship to return, and may not even return to Rogueport at all. I turned to the pirate, "Cortez, if we aren't back in twenty-four hours, leave us and go back to Rogueport."

"Argh. Understood. Best o' luck to you, muchacho." He replied.

With that, we shook Fluttershy awake and began our trek through the jungles of Keelhaul Key. Pushing through the barreling brambles and cutting down various vines, we noticed that the ground had turned into a slight incline.

After a few hours, we reached the edge of the forest. The clearing housed a small precipice overlooking the ocean, and, just as Cortez had said, a small, stone monument.

We slowly exited the forest, half expecting an extremely cliche'd 'BOO!" from the ghost of Bobbery. It didn't happen.

We approached the monument and read the small, bronze plaque that sat below the stalwart statue of a bomb with a mustache. It read, "DEDICATED TO THE FAMED ADMIRAL BOBBERY, GREATEST NAVIGATOR ON THE SEVEN SEAS".

I gazed up at the stone Bob-omb. It looked just as I had remembered Bobbery. If I remember correctly, Bobbery was a small, brown bob-omb with a magnificent grey mustache. He always donned blue boots and a tattered, white sailor's hat. He was true sailor indeed (and an absolutely indispensable member of my party in Paper Mario!).

We waited for a little bit, hoping Cortez was right and Bobbery would show up. He didn't.

I walked towards the edge of the precipice. I first gazed down to see how far the drop was. The height (ending in extremely cliche'd sharp rocks) seemed to be quite a ways down, (I'd say about several hundred yards) but the thought of falling had begun to sicken me, so I had to gaze up towards the horizon.

I REALLY didn't want to fall here...

"Bobbery..." I mumbled, "where are you?"

"Aye, the sea is beautiful, isn't she?"

I sighed. The sun had just sent on the horizon. Orange gleams of light sparkled on the water. I had to concur as I turned my head, "Yeah, Seth, it really-"

But it wasn't Seth that spoke. Everyone gasped as I jumped slightly. There, right in front of my face, stood the apparition of the Admiral himself, Bobbery, gazing far into the horizon.

Everyone fell silent, mouths agape... except Fluttershy. She fainted. "What?" the spirit asked, "The sea got your tongue? Have you landlubbers never seen a spirit before?"

"Not... Exactly..." I finally spoke up. I gazed back out into the sea. "How... how did you die?"

Bobbery scowled. "That blasted pirate Cortez." The fuse on his head came alight. "That fiend drove us right into some rocks. Those that were not already cursed with undeath drowned! Oh, the idiocy of that devil! And to make matters worse, as I was drowning, the demon cursed my soul to this precipice! He later told me that he only meant to prolong my life since he caused my death, but REALLY! How could he think that THIS was a good idea?!?"

As the fuse on his head diminished rapidly, I nervously tried to change the subject, "Uh, so, um, why don't you just leave?"

He shook his head as his fuse went out, "And to where would I go? I'd only bring unnecessary fear." He nodded towards Fluttershy, flat on her back, hooves straight up in the air.

"But wait..." Korey finally added, confused, "since you refuse to leave because you don't wanna scare anyone, why do they call you the 'Ever-Wandering Soul of Admiral Bobbery'?"

He sighed, "Is that the rumor Cortez has spread about me?" We all nodded. He shook his head, "Blasted pirate... Covering his own bony back..." He decided to change the subject as he gazed back out into the ocean. "You know, I almost joined the Army, but I decided to become a sailor instead."

Fluttershy, now conscious and somehow seemingly unafraid of the ghost standing before us, spoke up, "Um, Mr. Admiral Bobbery sir, I, um, don't mean to intrude, but... We need your help..."

Bobbery smiled under his mustache and raised his ethereal eyebrows, "Ah, so it DOES speak! How so?"

Fluttershy continued, "Um... my friends don't belong in this world... a-and the only way my ruler, Princess Celestia, can send them back is with your help... I mean, if that's okay with you..."

The bob-omb paused, then laughed, "...Is that all? That is a very simple task for an old sea bomb such as myself! Celestia owes me a favor anyway. She and I go WAY back."

"So, is that a 'yes'?" Jen asked.

He nodded, "Anything to get me off of this blasted island." We all cheered as night finally set in. "Although," Bobbery added, "we should probably wait until the morning before our journey."

We all agreed as we re-entered the forest and set up camp at the edge.