Fluttershy, Why is There a Gila Monster in Your Broom Closet?
By Twilight Sparkle
As I trotted toward Fluttershy's cottage, I reflected on how much had changed since I last visited. I mean, we hang out a lot, just almost never in her house. It's been, what, almost a year since I stepped inside it? A lot has changed in that time. Mostly, the wings, and the whole princess thing. Now It was nearing my first Nightmare Night as an alicorn, and I was going to pick up my Chrysalis costume. Fluttershy was probably currently putting the finishing touches on it.
When I first commissioned her to design and sew it for me, she politely refused. She told me--in that deferential way she says almost anything--that she was sure that now that I was a princess, surely I could find somepony to professionally tailor me whatever attire I wanted. That's how she is it seems, always playing her skills down. And on the one hoof she is right: I'm sure I could very easily get a costume professionally done. I bet they even have an allowance for that in the "royal budget". But the truth of the matter is that these little errands and chores and interactions with my friends help me stay grounded. When you're a princess, it's so easy to forget your roots. Not because you want to, but because you simply don't remember them. But I love my friends and my Ponyville; I want to stay grounded. I want to remember my little ponies.
At any rate, I told her (politely of course) that for once I didn't care about her opinion regarding my choice of costume provider. Inasmuch unless she was too busy, I would not think twice about issuing a royal edict declaring her my official Nightmare Night dressmaker. Not wishing to cause a scene or upset a princess, she relented. I also told her not to call me Shirley. See, I can be funny occasionally. What? You don't get it? She told me that Shirley I could find somepony to... Oh nevermind. Where was I? Oh yeah, walking there.
In due time, I was approaching her house. Almost before you see it, you smell it. That's not really surprising given the hundreds of animals that live in and around it, but jeez, I wish she would invest in some Febreze. She seems to be happy though, and I suppose that's what counts. I just feel bad for Rainbow Dash: every time she visits, her allergies act up and she has sneezing fits for a week. I'm lucky. The most I get is a little watering of the eyes.
As I knocked on the door, I looked around and admired the spring day. Winter Wrap Up had occurred last month, and now the sky was clear as an ice fish's blood. "Oh, um, coming--one moment!" I heard Fluttershy say in her sing song voice. I really miss my friends sometimes.
I heard a muffled voice from behind the door--something about not attacking the mailmare--and then it opened.
"Oh, hi Twilight! So good to see you again. It's been what, two weeks? Come in, please."
I stepped inside and was per the norm greeted by a menagerie of animals of all shapes and sizes. But stallion, the place was even more of a mess than usual! Then I realized why. My project, duh. My eyes navigated the floor until they met an imposing mass of black draped upon a dress form. The wings were sitting off to the side, but other than that it looked pretty much complete. Perhaps too complete in fact, for I noticed a lack of holes in her infamous swish cheese legs. Don't tell Chrysalis I called her legs that. Well, I doubt you'll get the chance, seeing how we haven't seen her since that whole Secretariat Comet fiasco. Good riddance too: talk about a jerk. So anyway, Fluttershy came back from her not-really-a-kitchen with a cup of tea for me, and saw me admiring her hoofwork. It really was quite impressive for a hobby seamstress.
"I'm almost finished Twi. I probably have about half an hour left, and then it's all yours. I must admit, it was at times a challenge, but I'm really happy with the result." She grabbed a pair of scissors with her wings (Note: I am not yet that dexterous with an object capable of slicing parts of my body off.) and took to snipping off extra bits of fabric and felt here and there.
"Me too Fluttershy. It looks great! I can't thank you enough! I'll be sure to pay you genero..."
She stopped what she was doing and turned to face me. She stared at me. It wasn't THE stare, but it was still unnerving. "Twilight," she said slowly, "this is a favor I am doing for one of my best friends, who also happens to be an alicorn princess. It is an honor and pleasure to do so, and I will NOT have you pay me." That was that.
I frowned. "Well alright Fluttershy. Thanks; that's awful kind of you." I turned that frown upside down, walked over from where I was sitting sipping tea on her couch, and gave her a big hug.
"Ooph! Careful! Holding scissors!" she squeaked.
"Heh, sorry," I said sheepishly.
I backed away, then continued: "But certainly there must be something I can do to repay you? You're suuuuure you won't accept money, or perhaps gift cards? I know how much you enjoy your spa visits."
She smiled as she put down the scissors, and picked up a needle and a shiny verisimilitudinous wing to be sewn to a blue felt carapace. "Thanks again Sparkle, but really, it's fine. If you absolutely must thank me somehow besides orally, you can make me another cup of tea."
I happily trotted off to make her some tea, but I knew that that alone would not suffice. When I came back with the relaxing beverage, I scanned her living room. As I said, it was unsurprisingly a mess. The parts of it that weren't covered in animal paraphernalia were currently occupied by a sewing machine, color swatches, pin cushions, and all sorts of dressmaking fabrics. When she was in the zone, I dare speak the blasphemy that Flutters could give Rarity a run for her costume-making money. She was definitely in the zone right now.
I looked up. The ceiling was made of socks. A relic of Discord's brief residence in her house, it was one of his few chaotic changes that she had kept. I'm no interior decorator, so I let that be. Then I looked down. There were scraps of fabric, morsels of food, and droppings of animals poop all over the floor. This I could work with! It was now clear to me how I could help her. I could do what I, Twilight "I make checklists of checklists" Sparkle do best: Organize! I knew what my first task at hoof was. "Fluttershy," I declared, "I'm going to clean your house! I shall start by giving your floor a good sweeping!" With that, I headed off to find her broom closet. I've hung out in her house many, perhaps a dozen times, but this was my very first chance to clean and organize it. Is it sad that I was excited?
"Twilight," the pegasus muttered as she worked on cutting holes in my dress, "please don't get a broom."
I ignored her. "Flutters, relax. Cleaning your place up a little is the least I could do for you." Now where was that broom closet?
She set down the scissors she again held with her wings. "No really, I'd um, really rather you not get a broom, if that's
ok with you."
"No it isn't. Please, I, Her Royal Majesty Princess Twilight Sparkle, insist on helping one of my subjects!" I shouted from another room. Don't let Applejack EVER hear this, but I'll admit that putting on airs caaaaan be kind of fun. And right now, it was my royal duty--as a true, true friend--to help a friend in need of a good spring cleaning. There was no way I was going to let her not let me help her. Aha! There was the broom closet.
"Twilight. Really, I am being assertive Fluttershy right now, and I INSIST you listen to me! I don't think you understand, 'Your Majesty'."
I brushed her protest aside and flung open the closet door. Indeed, there were brooms inside. I reached out to grab one with a wing, like Dash and Flutters had been teaching me to do. Then I stopped.
Huh, what is that smell?, I thought. It smelled like carrion. I looked down.
There was a Gila monster in her broom closet.
*POMPH!* went my wings.
"Twilight, was that the sound of your wings spreading rapidly? Twilight? Twilight are you..."
"AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!"
"Welp, it sounds like Twilight found you Gabriella," Fluttershy said to herself.
I ran back to the living room where Fluttershy was working and yelled: "FLUTTERSHY THERE IS AN ORANGE AND BLACK POISONOUS REPTILE IN YOUR BROOM CLOSET!"
All the animals were startled and flew or scurried away from my commotion. But Fluttershy didn't seem alarmed. Why was she not alarmed? The bite of a Gila monster can kill a horse. So why was she giggling?
"FLUTTERSHY! What the heck? This isn't funny! That thing is dangerous. Your animals could get hurt!"
"Hee hee! Sorry Twilight. I take it this is your first time meeting Gabby?"
"GABBY?! You named the thing? You know it's here?! Was this a set up? Were Pinkie and Dash involved?"
"Yes of course I know she's here. She's my guest! Her name is Gabriella. She told me so herself."
This was too much. Too much. I pulled a Rarity and found a convenient couch to faint upon.
Something was poking me in the ribs. Why was something poking me in the ribs? Why was I lying down anyway? My eyes fluttered open to a blurry sideways view of my host's living room. I tilted my head upright and cleared my vision, to see Angel Bunny scurrying away, evidently successful in his mission to rouse me.
Fluttershy noticed my movement, and rushed over to me. "Phew, you're awake. I was so worried!"
"Heh," I said as I sat up. "I'm sorry overreacted like that. That was very 'drama queen', or, more accurately, 'drama princess'-ish of me."
"Oooohh Nooo, I should be the one apologizing," she replied as she sat down next to me on the couch. "That wasn't very kind of me to laugh at you like that. Sometimes I forget that not everypony is as comfortable around predators as I am. I'm so sorry Twilight."
"I'll say! Did you really expect me to react with dignity and aplomb?" I questioned.
"No, I suppose that wasn't really fair. Sorry Twi."
"It's ok Fluttershy. I forgive you. But seriously, why is there a Gila monster in your broom closet? And what keeps it from eating other animals? And how di--"
She cut me off. "One question at a time Twilight. She's in my closet because she likes it there. In the wild, Gila monsters spend most of their time underground in burrows or rocky shelters, staying away from Celestia's hot sun. So with a few toys and a water bowl, she's a pretty happy camper in there."
She continued: "And here is another fact for you, Twilight 'I love facts' Sparkle: Gila monsters only eat every month or two, but when they do eat, the can up to a third of their weight in food. It's pretty incredible. A few weeks ago I fed her some of the unfertilized eggs from my chicken coop, and a newborn bunny I had to put down because of severe birth defects. So she'll be happy for a while yet. I made her promise not to sample any of the other wildlife living here, and she is fine with that. Most of the other animals don't even know she's here, since she doesn't want to come out of the closet. And you're third question?"
My mouth hung agape. "Forget my third question! Fluttershy?! You killed a baby bunny on purpose? You fed it to this reptile? What the... I think I'm going to be sick." I felt the bile rising in my throat, and with a look of determination swallowed it back down. (Aside: Most ponies and horses can't throw up, but apparently us alicorns have been graced with that "gift". As apparently were the ponies who ate Pinkie and Applejack's "Baked Bads". This is less a testament to the uniqueness of alicorn physiology and more to just how awful those muffins the duo baked were. But I digress.) Fluttershy was... I really, really didn't want to call her a monster, but... well, I guess I'm just not used to killing things. Ughhh.
Fluttershy could see my very obvious discomfort. "It's okay Twilight. The rabbit only had a brainstem. It didn't feel any pain or anything, and I doubt it would have lived more than a few hours outside of the womb. So it became a meal for a not-very-hungry-for-reasons-I'll-explain-shortly Gila monster. Such is the circle of life."
I didn't feel very reassured. But I trust Fluttershy's judgement. She's the one who's good with animals. Not I. Changing the subject, I asked, "So, ummm, moving on, why did Gabriella come to you in the first place? Or did you find her or something?"
Fluttershy also looked relieved to move on to a different topic. "When Gabriella awoke from her winter hibernation, she was puzzled by her lack of appetite, considering she hadn't eaten in three months. So she trekked to the local buffalo shaman. He and I are penpals; we discuss alternative medicine and the medicinal properties of desert flora. Though he couldn't help her or find anything wrong with her, he nonetheless suspected there was a problem, and he knew who to send her to: me. He slapped some first class postage stamps and a 'fragile, handle with care' sticker on her hide, took her to the nearest train station, and she then rode in the mail car all the way to Ponyville."
"Wow. That was inventive. So animals will travel a long way to see you huh?"
"Yep. Once a fox got his leg mangled by an illegal Griffin steel trap. He hobbled nearly fifty miles on a broken ankle to my house. By the time I was able to help him, the wound had become infected, and I had to amputate his foot."
My eyes grew wide and for a moment I was afraid I would be ill again. "That's--that's horrible!" I declared. "Poor fox. It didn't do anything wrong!"
"I know," she said. "But don't worry. The story has a happy ending. A friend of mine who is a mechanic built him a prosthetic limb, and I'm proud to say that the fox is alive and well today."
I smiled. I love it when Fluttershy talks about the animals she helps. She seems so alive.
"So uhhhh," I stammered, "I believe you have a 'friend' to sh-sh-show me?"
"Oh yes. I think you should be acclimated to Gila monsters. They're quite friendly. I'll go get her. BUT! You have to Pinkie Pie Promise not to freak out. Okay?" She was sporting a huge grin. This didn't make me less worried.
I signed my death warrant and cleared my throat. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my--Ow!--...eye." When would I learn to stop actually jabbing myself in the eye? "Yes. I will do my best to remain calm. Just don't like, throw her at me or anything."
"Awwww, we were going to play catch though! I was pumped up!"
Since when did Fluttershy have such a mischievous sense of humor? Discord must really be rubbing off on her. I swear, those two are odd bedfellows. But hey, they're happy, and who am I to stand in the way of the magic of friendship?
"Okay Shy. Please just go get 'Gabriella' before I change my mind."
"One friendly Gila monster, coming right up!" she said, and trotted out of the room back to the broom closet of doom.
The next thirty seconds went way too fast.
I was terrified. Here came Fluttershy walking back into the room with a venomous lizard on her back. “Fluttershy, you’re-you’re holding him! I mean her! I mean, isn't that dangerous? Won’t she bite you or something?”
“Oh no, she wouldn't hurt a fly. In this house at least. She promised me she’d be a good girl. Isn't that right Gabby? Who’s a gooooood girl? You are! Oh yes you are!” I rolled my eyes. Rainbow Dash would probably puke at the foal talk Fluttershy was engaged in. But she’d also probably think a Gila monster would make an awesome pet. I suppose I'm glad she got Tank the tortoise: I suspect there are ordinances in Ponyville barring the ownership of Gila monsters as pets.
Fluttershy sat down next to me and extended a hoof to her back, which “Gabby” gladly climbed onto. She then lowered the hoof to in front of her and kissed the thing on its head. “Okay everyone, I believe introductions are in order. Gabriella, this is my unicorn friend Twilight Sparkle.” She pointed to me; I gulped. “Twilight Sparkle, this is my Gila monster friend Gabriella.” I waved sheepishly.
“Heh, heh, h-h-hi Gabriella. How are you?”
Fluttershy smiled. “Oh silly. She can’t understand you. Don’t you know the traditional way to greet each other in Gilanese?”
Really, really Fluttershy? I gave her a deadpan look. “Yes Fluttershy. I, Princess Celestia’s most faithful student, have dedicated my life to studying the magic of friendship and Gila monsters. Of course I speak fluent Gilanese.”
Fluttershy’s eyes lit up. “Really, you do?” Wow. I facehoofed.
“Noooo Fluttershy, I DON’T speak Gilanese. I didn’t even know it was a thing until seven seconds ago.”
“Oh. Um, ok.” She acted like I had crushed her dreams. But then she cheered up again. “Well, I can teach you,” she squeed. I actually literally heard a “squee” sound, like she was a cartoon character or something. Huh.
She continued, "The traditional greeting between Gila monster friends is... well, how about we demonstrate!" She whispered something in it's ear, then held it an inch from her face. I did my best not to close my eyes, terrified that it was going to bite her.
"Open your eyes silly, or you'll miss the demonstration," she said. I did my best to follow her order.
The reptile she held in front of her face flicked its tongue out and tapped Fluttershy on the muzzle. Then the pony stuck out her own tongue and lightly licked the creature's nose. Suddenly I felt dizzy again.
"You licked her?! Fluttershy, I love you as a friend, but I sincerely worry about you!"
"Thanks Twilight. But though it may seem strange to you, I assure you it is the customary greeting among Gila monsters. It is a sign of goodwill established between the parties. Will you try?" she asked, holding the animal out towards me. She made a hopeful face.
Sorry Fluttershy, but I have my limits. "Uhhhhh, heh heh heh... I think... I'll pass." I scooted to the far end of the couch.
"Alright I understand. Not everypony can handle this much adorableness." She nuzzled it against her cheeks. I squirmed. She giggled.
Finally, seeing that no graceful transition was going to come up, I asked the question that was the minotaur in the room. "So uh, Fluttershy, at the risk of being blunt, what is wrong with Gabriella? Why isn't she hungry?"
She looked down and mumbled something. Typical. "What was that Fluttershy? I didn't really hear you."
"She... she has... hepatic cancer."
Hepatic cancer? The gears in my head turned. Hepatic? Hepatic is Gricean for... liver right? It hit me. "LIVER CANCER?!" I shouted. Both Fluttershy and the Gila monster winced.
"Oh dear, I'm sorry," I said to Fluttershy. I turned to the reptile. "I'm sorry. That was rude of me. You probably don't like being reminded of it." Gabriella just stared at me.
"Oh," Fluttershy said. "She doesn't speak Equestrian very well. It's a second language for her. Here, let me translate for you." She turned to face the lizard sitting on the couch next to her. "The purple pony says 'I'm sorry. That was rude of me. You probably don't like being reminded of your condition.'" Gabriella cocked her head, then nodded up and down, as if understanding.
Flutters turned back to me. "She says she understands and isn't hurt."
I was flabbergasted. "But... but! You said the exact same thing I did!"
"Pretty much, yes."
"And Gabriella didn't understand me."
"Mostly true, yes."
"But she understood you?"
"Completely, yes."
"Gah, that makes no sense Fluttershy! How can she understand you but not me?"
"I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I mean just that: I don't know why I can talk to animals, or why I understand what they say. I just do. I guess I'm blessed with a gift."
I had known Fluttershy for a while, known of her ability to communicate with critters, and yet, I had never actually questioned this until now. How could I have been so unscientific and not at all inquisitive? "So, it just...is?" I asked, having a hard time accepting this.
She smiled at me, which was odd. "Twilight, you do remember your experience with Pinkie Sense, do you not? Have you forgotten what you learned?"
Ughh, she had to bring that up didn't she. "Low blow Fluttershy, low blow."
Fluttershy tittered, and Gabriella looked at her quizzically, wondering what her caretaker was giggling at. "Sorry Gabs," the pegasus explained, "my friend here just has a hard time believing you understand me. But I know you do. Want to sit on my shoulder for a spot?"
Gabriella lumbered across the couch to Fluttershy and began crawling up her barrel. I shuttered watching the thing, but Fluttershy just gently petted it, saying "That's a good girl. Yes, yes you are Gabby!" I rolled my eyes.
"So um," I said, changing the subject. "How are you planning to combat this Cee-Aye-En-Cee-Eee-Arr?"
She responded, "It's okay Twilight, you can say 'cancer'. I've explained to Gabriella what's going on. She understands why she is in pain."
"Well, that's good I guess. So what are you going to do about it?"
"I'm going to treat it more or less the same and only way I treat my other cancer patients. Chemotherapy, and lots of love."
I didn't realize Fluttershy employed such advanced techniques. Chemotherapy was still a fairly new treatment, even in cutting-edge Canterlot General Hospital. "Wow, I'm... surprised I guess that you have access to such advanced medicine."
Fluttershy blushed. "Well, I can't really take any of the credit. I buy almost all of the potions I use from Zecora. In fact, I have to head over to her hut this afternoon to get some more, if you're interested in joining me."
I considered her offer, but politely declined. "Sorry Shy. I'd love to, but I really need to get back to the castle in a few hours. But I'd definitely like to learn more about this treatment. Is it working?"
"Maybe. It's hard to tell. Obviously it's really tough on her body, but Gabby's a trooper. That's right, you're a strong Gila monster aren't you?!" She nuzzled the seemingly nearly catatonic lizard with her hooves. It stuck its tongue out and blinked. "She's not much of a talker," Fluttershy explained. "Most lizards--other than geckos--aren't."
"Fluttershy," I asked grimly, "has it metastasized?"
Her ears drooped back in sadness "...Yes. I took her in for an X-ray two days ago. She has a tumor in her lung too now."
That didn't sound good. "Oh Fluttershy, I am so sorry to hear that." I looked at Gabby and frowned. "You poor thing."
I turned back to Fluttershy. "You know, I could talk to Celestia. Or Luna! Maybe one of them could--"
"No Twilight," Fluttershy said firmly. "I know what you're thinking. Trust me. The princesses are very powerful, but I've had lengthy conversations with Celestia long before you ever stepped hoof in Ponyville. There is NOTHING they could do that I am not already doing. I understand your concern, but this is a sensitive subject for me, and my answer is final. This is my job, and mine alone."
I hadn't expected such an outburst from her. "I... I'm sorry Fluttershy. Please don't be mad. I'll drop the matter. But surely there is still some way I could help? Maybe... maybe I could give you a research grant!"
She sighed. "Thanks for the offer Twi. But finances are covered."
"But Fluttershy, I don't get it! Chemotherapy is expensive! How do you afford it?"
"I don't," she answered quietly.
"Huh?" I was puzzled. "But then...?"
"Twilight, I'm surprised you never realized any of this. You've known me what, three, four years? Did you never stop to ponder how I manage to feed hundreds of animals everyday and pay for their medical supplies as well?"
"I... I um, I always assumed that... no, I guess I didn't." Indeed I hadn't really actually ever pondered it, which in retrospect was embarrassing because I ponder almost everything. "So, um, what do you mean you 'don't afford it'?"
Fluttershy sighed and took another sip of her tea. "I don't pay for it," she said, "my parents do."
Gabriella crawled onto Shy's head, as I tried to recall what her parents did for a living. I had only met them two or three times. "They're... they're surgeons, right?"
She nodded. "Yes, two of the most respected and successful ones in Cloudsdale. They instilled in me a love of healing and a knowledge of anatomy. The truth is, I've only actually taken a few biology classes. I don't even have an AA degree. Most of what I know I've learned from my parents or through experience. Yet I'm now--as of two months ago, as the party Pinkie threw attested to--a fully licensed veterinarian." She smiled, clearly proud of her achievement.
I'd never really thought of Fluttershy as being the second most educated mare in our group, but I suppose she was. She also was several years older than the rest of us, come to think of it.
"They provide me with a hefty stipend that covers two thirds of my costs. The rest I get from pet sitting and being a veterinarian. They have no qualms about parting with the money, because they know how much good I'm doing with it."
I nodded. I understood. And yet, I didn't. Pets I could see. But wild animals? Including ones that would want to eat her if it weren't for the fact she was treating them? I thought back to our first night together, the long one when we defeated Nightmare Moon. I remembered how she hoofled that manticore so gracefully and gently, with such kindness. Last year wild manticores killed two hundred and sixty six ponies. That could have been us. And yet she helped predators every day of the week. Why?
"What good are you actually doing though Fluttershy? I don't mean to be rude, but, like in this Gila monster's case for example,"--I gestured to the orange and black creature flicking its tongue at me--"aren't you just delaying the inevitable?"
Fluttershy seemed unbothered by this. "Of course I am. I know a lot of these animals are going to die. But if I can help them, why shouldn't I?"
Suddenly, I was angry. I didn't want to be angry, but I was. She was so naive. How could she be so naive?
"But Fluttershy! Look at you! You're SURROUNDED by animals! Swamped by them! And yet these are but a fraction of ALL the hurt, all the sick, all the wounded, all the EVERYTHING animals in the world. Do you plan on taking in EVERY single one of them Fluttershy? Do you think you can solve everything yourself? I know it's hard! I really do! As princess my eyes have been opened to more pain and suffering than I ever DARED to know existed. And that's just ponies! I hate it, I really do Fluttershy, but this stuff is part of life. You can't solve everypony's problems, and you sure as TARTARUS can't solve every animal's problems!" I was yelling now. Why was I yelling?
"What of all the animals you can't help, huh? Is that fair to them? Is it fair that because this Gila monster had connections, that it lived near the shaman, that it's going to survive? Are you a Goddess?! Do you decide who lives and who dies?! That's not your job Fluttershy! That's not your job!" I was crying. Why was I crying?
"If anything, you're hurting them. Prolonging their suffering. These animals don't know friendship. They know the Everfree forest. They know deserts, they know tundra, they know nothing but the wilderness. A life of chaos, of hunger, of pain is all they've ever known! It's an eat or be eaten world in the untamed lands. Kill or be killed! You save this Gila monster, set it free, and you know what will happen? It'll get eaten by a timber wolf, or a hawk or something. Animals EAT animals. You might not like it, but it's PART OF LIFE! DEATH IS A PART OF LIFE FLUTTERSHY! DEATH IS A PART OF LIFE!"
I collapsed in a crumbling heap. Even Discord would have felt pity for the mess I was. I just sat there sobbing, angry over so many things I neither understood nor controlled. And poor Fluttershy just stood motionless for the longest time, a weary look in her eyes, a look of a thousand heartbreaks I had just reminded her of, and thousands more yet to come. And then she smiled. She smiled, and she said:
"I know it is Twi. But I'm part of life too."
And she was right. I looked up from my pile of personal pity. "You're right. You're--sniff--right Fluttershy. I'm sorry I lost my temper and yelled at you. It's just... even after all these years of studying books, I still have so much to learn about how the real world works. And you've given me a lot to think about. Thank you... I should go. I'll pick up my costume another day."
She nodded. "I understand. Will you say goodbye to Gabby?"
Of course I would. I got up and gave Flutters a huge hug, staring at the lizard with most-likely-terminal cancer sitting on her back. "Goodbye Gabriella!" I said as cheerfully as I could, knowing full well I would likely never see her again. I was strangely at ease with talking to a Gila monster. She didn't say anything in return, but she wiggled over to my face and flicked her tongue, touching my nose. I giggled and smiled a soft smile, then returned the gesture. That was the last time I ever saw her.
Two weeks later, I got a note saying that Gabriella had passed away. She fought a brave battle, but in the end, as often is the case, it wasn't enough. But at least she spent the last days of her life in peace and comfort, with the best darned hospice worker I know. A few days latter, along came an invitation to attend her funeral. Long ago Fluttershy learned to accept in good faith that none of us really wanted to go watch her bury her animals, and inasmuch it was usually just her, and perhaps an owner and his or her family if it was a pet that died. But I felt compelled to go to this one, and upon letting the princesses know, learned that Cadence would like to attend as well. I wasn't sure why.
It was an appropriately gloomy day, and the clouds flirted with sprinkling their contents upon us. The three of us stood in a circle around a small hole in the ground, with Fluttershy holding a rectangular box between her wings. It was a short eulogy; I don't wish to elaborate upon its message: writing about this is sad enough as it is. Though to be honest, I don't really remember much of what was said. What I will always remember though, is the unaffected stoicism with which Fluttershy lowered the box into the grave prepared for it. She was sad, but she didn't show it. Not because she was trying to hide her sorrow, but because she simply was okay with it. She knew this was part of life, and she was at peace.
On the train ride back, Cadence and I didn't really have anything to say to each other. Eventually, just to break the sweltering silence, I asked her why she decided to attend the funeral, when she must be busy running a (nominal) empire. She said it felt good to be reminded of love. "How so?" I asked. She told me when she was a little filly, her mother took her to see a musical, and one song more than the others stood out to her, and stuck with her to that day.
"Do you know what the hardest part of love is?" she asked me. I told her she was probably a better judge of that. "How about the rarest part of love? Or the truest part of love?" Again, I told her that that was her domain of expertise.
She then looked at me and said something I will never forget the rest of the years of my life: "The hardest part of love is letting go."
Our private cabin was again silent, save for the sound of me blowing my nose.
The Heavenly Sisters aside, we all die. Sure, some of us live longer than others, but in the end, you can't escape death. Of course, that doesn't stop us from trying. We engage in hedonistic debauchery as a distraction. We aid the poor as a salve. We travel the world, somehow thinking that if we can just cram enough into every day, every day will last longer. We seek truth and enlightenment, or perhaps evil and corruption. We meditate in ascetic silence, or party in exuberant revelry. We all try to run away, and we all fail miserably. All of us but one.
Almost every week, Fluttershy buries a dead animal. She loves every one of them, yet almost every week, she must let one go.
Fluttershy is the bravest pony, because she is always grounded in this life, never forgetting how short it is.
~END~
Author's Note
Despite the heavy subject matter, I ultimately had a lot of fun writing a surprising amount over the last two and a half days. I started with the beginning and ending scenes, and then started writing various "seed" scenes in the middle from which paragraphs sprouted until eventually i started filling in the gaps in the story. I also learned more about the really cool creatures known as Gila monsters, as well as the not so cool creature known as liver cancer.
Further reading:
Beck, Daniel D. (2005). Biology of Gila Monsters and Beaded Lizards. Berkeley: University of California Press. ISBN 0-520-24357-9.
Bogert, Charles M.; Rafael Martin del Campo (1956). The Gila Monster and its allies: the relationships, habits, and behavior of the lizards of the Family Helodermatidae. New York: Bull. Amer. Mus. Natur. Hist. 109:1–238. p. 238. Online .pdf
Capula, Massimo; Behler (1989). Simon & Schuster's Guide to Reptiles and Amphibians of the World. New York: Simon & Schuster. ISBN 0-671-69098-1.
Carmony, Neil B.; Brown, David (1991). Gila Monster: Facts and Folklore of America's Aztec Lizard. Silver City, NM: High-Lonesome Books. ISBN 0-944383-18-1.
Cogger, Harold; Zweifel, Richard (1992). Reptiles & Amphibians. Sydney, Australia: Weldon Owen. ISBN 0-8317-2786-1.
Ditmars, Raymond L (1933). Reptiles of the World: The Crocodilians, Lizards, Snakes, Turtles and Tortoises of the Eastern and Western Hemispheres. New York: Macmillian. p. 321.
Freiberg, Dr. Marcos; Walls, Jerry (1984). The World of Venomous Animals. New Jersey: TFH Publications. ISBN 0-87666-567-9.
Roever, J. M.; Hiser, Iona Seibert (1972). The Gila Monster. Austin, Tex: Steck-Vaughn Co. ISBN 0-8114-7739-8.
Peace out y'all. ~Bryan Chandler
