Screeching in the head. A growing pain in between his legs, pulsing in a synchronized fashion with his heartbeat. The murmuring of friends. A sea of comfort that he sank into as his head nestled further within a pillow. A beeping noise.

"He's AWAKE!!" A familiar voice erupted as Stuart Dalton's eyelids shifted only a millimeter. This caused his eyelids to instantaneously force open, taking in a blaring amount of light into his pupils.

"Pinkie! Shut up..." An irritated, rough voice told Pinkie Pie off, which Dalton recognized as Rainbow Dash's. As Dalton's mind cleared, he observed the ponies gathered around the rim of a bed he was resting on; The Mane Six were there, with three flanking the left side and the other three flanking the right, while at the front were three fillies looking at Dalton with the most curious of eyes, a white coated unicorn with a curly, purple striped white mane, a yellow coated earth pony with a red, round mane, and a brown coated pegasus with a spiky purple mane. They smiled widely as Dalton blinked and stared at them, familiar fillies in his memory; but his groggy state couldn't place a finger on who they were.

"We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" The fillies said in unison, making an imaginary hand in Dalton's mind to snap, while he thought, ohhhh. The other ponies became either silent or talked amongst themselves to let the fillies address Dalton.

"We wanna thank ya fer savin' PonyVille and all," said the yellow earth pony, Applebloom, "And we're givin' ya somethin' special from each of us."

A gift..? On the tray in front of him was a cup of prismatic liquid. Dalton was too lethargic to say even a word of thanks, his muscles aching all over and his nethers feeling as if he urinated out a boulder. Size increasing magic apparently had a toll on his body. Or maybe it was the magical Viagra?

"It's Zap apple cider. Really hard ta' make, but the Apple family decided ta' make a cup fer ya!" Applebloom beamed and hugged her sister, Applejack, who received it warmly.

"It takes a couple days ta' make one of em bad boys! The jam's a lot easier. Furthermore, ya were lucky that ya arrived durin' Zap apple season," Applejack tipped her hat, "sugarcube."

At the word 'sugarcube', Dalton started hardening with arousal, but this only initiated waves of pain which caused him to grunt. Then a thought hit him.

"A few... days?"

"Yea, you were knocked out for a week," informed a nurse pony (OMG THAT FLANK *CLENCHES LOWER LIP*) who just entered from the hospital door in front of his bed, "And don't expect yourself to be walking about for the next few days. We're not entirely sure how your body works, but the symptoms that were present initially show little signs of dying down."

"Oh..." Dalton wasn't that worried about his condition; it was bearable. He needed to make up for lost time in PonyVille, precious minutes that could have been spent groping hot, sweet pony ass, like the one that belonged to his favorite yellow pegasus at the left side of his bed, having a meek smile, one eye hidden behind her flowing pink mane. Oh sweet Celestia, he could just take that pony in bed right now and--

"HEY! Mr. Dalton! Equestria to Mr. Dee!" The two other fillies called his name, the white coated one being Sweetie Belle and the orange coated one being Scootaloo. Dalton shook his head vigorously and brought his attention to the fillies at hand.

"We didn't really know what to give you so we made this poem and this card. Oh yeah, and Sweetie Belle..." Scootaloo trotted over to Dalton's side and placed a card on his tray beside the cup of cider. Scootaloo knocked Sweetie Belle at her side and the unicorn jumped, clearing her throat afterwards. On the front it said: Thanks so much for saving PonyVille! with copious amounts of glitter decorating it and a golden background included. It's frame was adorned with a curly border. The insides had the same characteristics, but had a drawing in red of a crude looking Discord and another illustration in yellow of a humanoid, likely representing Dalton. There were words there too.

Through rain or shine PonyVille will be fine
So long as Stu Dalton, true and kind
Stays in Equestria, and is always near,
Destroying evil and kicking its rear!

Sweetie Belle sung out the words, and Dalton surprised himself as he felt wetness below his left eye; What a voice to behold! Dalton rarely found himself emotional, but the plethora of thoughts that his mind processed were overwhelming. And also his vulnerability right now caused him to shed any toughness in his facade he had initially. A journey, from his Sloppy Cloppy Time to here, in PonyVille, kicking Discord's ass (or shooting him, whichever you choose) and earning the praise of ponies, his sexual fetish. Dalton felt gratitude wash over him, and found the strength to speak.

"T-Thank you all..." Dalton rasped, but was cut off by Twilight Sparkle.

"Rest now. You'll have enough words to talk about when you address the whole of PonyVille tomorrow! If that's alright with you," Twilight cheerfully assured him as Dalton gave a swift nod. Out of the corner of his eye, Dalton could see Rainbow Dash slumped up against the hospital room wall, crossing her hooves while Rarity was whispering to Applejack. Pinkie Pie looked like she was about to explode from severe lack of noise in the room while Fluttershy was leaning on the bed rails and staring at Dalton.

"OH YES! Mr. Dee, once you're a-okay, WE'RE THROWING A CELEBRATION PARTEH!!!" Pinkie Pie screamed, blowing a party horn while placing a party hat on Dalton's head, which seemed to fit perfectly. "We're going to have lots and lots and lots and lots of FUN!! We're gonna get sick with cake and cupcakes, we're gonna sing and dance till our hooves get sore and.. and... and.."

*ACHOOO!!!*

Pinkie Pie erupted and flew through the ceiling of the hospital room, and disappeared, leaving rubble and debris in her wake.

"Nah. Don't worry. She'll be back," Rainbow Dash told the others as looks of concern and confusion were on everypony's face. "Oh yeah, my gift. Uh.... It's one of a kind, so yeah, take care of it."

Rainbow Dash produced a roll of paper, and unfolded it revealed a Wonderbolts poster.

"Don't. Mis. Place. It. Got it? It was a now-or-never thing on the day I bought it," Rainbow Dash said, with a jab of a hoof at every word. Dalton nodded quickly, reluctant to face her wrath.

"Oh please, Rainbow Dash. You've practically a wallpaper of those Wonderbolts," Rarity scoffed, earning a glare from the cyan pegasus, "Yes, and I do have a gift but regrettably it's waiting in the Boutique. I made measurements of every inch of your body, though I ignored.... your stallionhood."

Rarity finished her sentence slowly and the rest of the Mane Six were staring at Dalton now. Oh crap, they've found out, thought Dalton, They'd surely reject my friendship now. Of course, Dalton had fought Discord off with his pecker! All of them saw the white fluid that spewed out of it and associated that with the privates of stallions on Equestria, which did just that when aroused. But Dalton observed the ponies; they weren't looking at him angrily but had furious blushes on their faces, even Rarity, and their gazes were directed to Dalton's nether region. Ho, yes, just like in the clopfics, Dalton thought mischievously, it starts with the blushing. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were looking at the Mane Six in confusion; thankfully they did not get their 'Birds and the Bees' talk yet. Dalton was still reluctant to bring his sword out since it caused momentous pain when he tried, but his brain and his desires told him that he needed it. It was like the ponies were teasing him with their stares, and it was torturous indeed.

Fluttershy broke the silence, her face still a shade of deep magenta.

"Me and my animal friends made you this crown of flowers, if that's alright with you," She said happily with closed eyes, and produced a decorative crown of stable branches on which was adorned several flowers of a spectrum of colors. "Don't worry, it's not prickly."

It seemed that Fluttershy finally grew confident in his company, as she was stuttering way less. Dalton observed the flower crown placed down at the night stand beside the bed and thought crazily, Flowers eh? I'm gonna have fun eating out your flower Fluttershy. Mmm yes, it's gonna taste like cinnamon buns and mixed fruit, and my bad boy is gonna be parting those folds of yours ever so slowly, and you're gonna squeal in utter delight and ecstasy, since you like em big, you like em chun--

"Mr. Dalton! Twilight here," Twilight snapped, then softly smiled. "I have a gift too."

Dalton rolled his eyes. A book.

"A book!" Twilight grinned from ear to ear. "This was a limited edition at the Equestrian Book Convention last year. It's about Starswirl the Bearded and the history of magic, and Equestria itself, told only in a thousand pages! Isn't that short?"

With her telekinesis, Twilight lifted a brick-thick book and laid it down gently at Dalton's nightstand. Dalton didn't enjoy history very much and loathed reading such a book; from the rolling eyes of the ponies around him, it seemed they shared similar sentiments.

Just then, the hot pony nurse from earlier barged in and called for everypony to clear the room and leave Dalton be. Dalton suddenly realized that he was the only patient in the ward. Twilight called from the door as she left.

"We'll leave you here now. Rest up!"

Dalton sighed as the ponies filed out of the room. It was going to be a long day to get through; from the sky outside, it seemed to be about noon. He couldn't wait to experiment what pony arousal juice tasted like, but being tied down to a bed like this, he wouldn't expect such a thing to occur anytime soon. I want it NOW, thought Dalton, as he slowly drifted back to sleep, to a realm of aroused ponies and rule 34 scenes.

LELELELELEL

Dalton awoke to the music of birds as he creaked his eyelids open. It was a splendorous night that he had; his bedsheets were soaking with his load due to his sinful dream of him rutting Fluttershy in mindless bliss, with the yellow pony demanding him to fuck her twenty percent harder. His manhood had seemed to become better overnight; maybe all it needed was a good climax. His thoughts became clearer now; he realized that the ponies had, somewhat expressed a curiosity or maybe even interest when they scrutinized his privates. This meant that he had a chance to have consensual experiences, and those would be the most thrilling, indeed.

Dalton stretched his hand out to his nightstand, finding his fingers clench over the mug of cool Zap Apple cider that still lay there. The man immediately brought the drink to his lips and took a sip. Hmm, not bad. It was like apple juice just that there was way more fizz in there and another addicting bittersweet substance in there that he couldn't place his finger on. He gulped down the rest of the cider, spreading warmth throughout his body and sobering him up; it was going to be a good day. He was going to score some ponies and, proudly, lose his virginity with a pony, hopefully one of the Mane Six.

The man jumped off his bed and looked down on himself; it was a poorly done garment for him. It looked like the product of several hospital clothes stitched together. No doubt Rarity would faint if her eyes ever set on that thing... Speaking of clothes, Dalton wondered when he would get new ones. After all, his first set was ripped off when he changed into a giant version of himself. Maybe Rarity stitched him a new set; maybe that was the present Rarity wanted Dalton to have.

Just then, a loud *thump* sound was heard behind Dalton and he wheeled backwards to see what happened. Pinkie Pie, with a disheveled mane, had landed on the ground through the hole in the ceiling and was rubbing her head with a hoof. Dalton tried his best to escape from the room, but by the time his hand grasped the doorknob, it was too late; with a deft motion, Pinkie Pie grabbed Dalton, and threw him into a party cannon, carting him out of the hospital at breakneck speed.

"I had this really weird dream last night as I was hanging upside down with the bats in the hospital roof, yeah I rocketed myself all the way up through 20 storeys into the hospital roof, can you believe that?! Anyways I befriended some of the resident bat ponies who were up there and I could stand upside down with them and I told them all about PonyVille and you and how you totally kicked Discord's plot and saved ALL OF PONYVILLE!! So had this dream that we were having a party and we made this super spicy punch for you and you drank it and FREAKED OUT! You had to go the stallion's room and wash up but the water wasn't enough so you went to the mare's room and tried, which was FUN-NEH! Isn't it weird though that you went into both bathrooms since the drainage system practically supplies the same water? So anyway we called you over and got you to drink this cooler drink and in fact it was actually the same punch from before HAHAHA!! You can guess how that turned out, you were wolfing down all the cakes at the party as if your life depended on it! My dream ended when you puked out all of the cake into my face, I mean, what's up with that? Of all faces to puke on why choose mine, HAHA! After that I lost balance of my perch on the hospital roof and fell 20 storeys back to the ground, sustaining no serious injuries in my body whatsoever!"

Dalton felt the cannon stop, and he peeked outside, discovering that he was wheeled to the front of Sugarcube Corner. The streets of PonyVille were quiet after Pinkie stopped her ramble, and a chilld wind gusted through the town. He remembered it was November and wondered whether Earth time was consistent with Equestria time. Pinkie kicked the cannon and it burst through the door, to a brilliant sight.

"THANK YOU MR. DEE!!!!" It seemed like nearly all of the people in town were here at Sugarcube Corner, to host a party for celebrating Dalton's triumph over Discord. Dalton's mouth was agape as he saw streamers fly around the place, and the sounds of party horns resounded through the building. On tables were mountainous cakes and bowls of punch, and on their edges were tied helium balloons. The Mane Six, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and even the two Princesses, Celestia and Luna were present, and an atmosphere of festivity and happiness crackled in the air as all cried out in celebration.

"Three cheers for our saviour! Hip hip hooray!" Pinkie Pie shouted, earning the participation of all of the ponies in the building. The ponies picked him up on their hooves and carried him over to a space in front of the princesses, to his surprise. As always, Celestia had a mellow look on her face, with a warm smile gracing it; Luna, on the other hand, was eyeing Dalton with great interest. They need to do a little explaining, thought Dalton.

"We haven't told you the whole story yet," Celestia said, as if she read Dalton's mind. The ponies in Sugarcube Corner fell into a hush, giving the princess the silence that was needed to tell her story. Celestia cleared her throat, and started on her account of things.

"After you defeated Discord, Twilight and I were worried that he might retaliate yet again after he came to consciousness. However, he was entirely complying to our demands, turning all of the ponies back to their normal state and righting his chaos, freeing my sister Luna here. Fact is, Discord pleaded to be imprisoned in stone yet again, saying something about having to swallow... lava?"

At this, Dalton chuckled a little.

"Afterwards, Luna surrendered the Elements of Harmony and the Mane Six were able to seal him in stone, coming to a consensus that Discord is not able to change his ways. Since then, PonyVille has been going under repair by our ponies; Discord had seemed to have forgotten to repair all of the damage his chaos caused in the town. Now we, as ponies of Equestria and citizens of PonyVille," said Celestia, bowing her head down to Dalton, "ask of you only one favor, to stay another week in PonyVille and preside over the rebuilding of PonyVille. Furthermore, your wish is my command; ask for anything, and it shall be yours."

Now all of the ponies in the room were on bended knee, bowing to Dalton in respect. Dalton rubbed his hands in glee: oh yes, it's time for the real fun to start... Like Discord, it seemed that Dalton didn't change his ways. He addressed the crowd in full confidence.

"My first wish..." The ponies leaned forward, staring at Dalton, "is for the party to get started!"

"AWWWW YEAH BASS CANNON!!!" a voice boomed from the back of the building and intense house music reflected off the walls. Vinyl Scratch head banged and the silence was thankfully broken, with all of the ponies loosening up and going about the party. Pinkie Pie started having a cake eating contest with the little fillies, earning a disapproving shake from Mr. Cake. Rarity had fainted, possibly from Dalton's clothes, and was carted out in a party cannon. Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were talking amongst themselves while Celestia and Twilight trotted up to Dalton, possibly wanting to inquire him about something. Then, a frosting bearded Pinkie Pie shot up, cutting in front of Celestia and Twilight.

"Hey! Know how to play any musical instruments?!" Pinkie Pie asked, "Cuz when I went to your place, I saw this really cool guitar you had!!" Dalton shifted nervously, and looked behind the pink pony for help from Twilight and Celestia; he wanted to avoid any distractions from his sexy time with ponies. Finding a dead end, Dalton replied with a nod.

"Hey everypony! Mr. Dee's gonna play the guitar for us!" Pinkie shouted, drawing the crowd around Dalton yet again. Pinkie reached into her hair and pulled out an acoustic guitar, which was somehow human sized.

"Never really knew how to play it, but maybe you can show us a thing or two on it! This is gonna be fun!!" With her hooves, Pinkie thrust the guitar into Dalton's hands, and he inspected every inch of the guitar. He couldn't really tell the brand; probably made in PonyVille.

Anxiously, Dalton strummed a few chords. Perfectly in tune. He observed the ponies' expectant smiles and thought up of a song that would normally get him laid. He cleared his throat and made his best attempt at a British accent.

"I think this is a song of hope."

There's a lady who's poor
(Fuck, what's the next line?)
and she's fucking a toad
but she's rutting a dildo from seven-eleven

And when she gets there she knows,
if she does all the hoes,
With a word she can eat out all the whores
(crap, wrong note)

Ooooh, oooooooh, and she's fucking a mare from heaven
(oooohs = naughty bed noises)

There's a sign on the whore,
20 bucks to blow her,
cause you know 30 is a waste of shillings
(holy crap the whole bar was off)

In a club there's a book,
which is 300 pages thick,
which includes all of the good fuck positions
(Fuck this i'm skipping to the fast part)

Dalton strummed faster, earning the applause from fellow ponies.

And as we fuck all the green toads
Our cocks are filled with all our loads
there was a lady who loved to moan
who likes her dildos large and cold
how everyone's still a fucking hose
and if you get really hard
The load will come on you at last
When you have fucked them one and all
To be rock hard, and not to fuck....

Dalton fell silent for a while, earning furious clopping from the ponies.

And she's rutting a stallion... from heaven....

The applause was deafening; some ponies' eyes were watery and even Celestia was dabbing her cheeks. Twilight was apparently crying buckets.

"Stuart Dalton.... that was... beautiful... In my life I've never heard such an angelic voice in Equestria... speaking such reason too... You truly are a gift to Equestria," said Twilight Sparkle, who was using up all of the napkins in Sugarcube corner to clean up her waterfall of tears. Dalton cocked an eyebrow; that was, hands down, the most terrible rendition of Stairway to Heaven he had come up with. The vulgarities didn't help either.

Dalton shrugged and proceeded to continue his talk with Celestia. However, he was interrupted yet again by a voice at the door of Sugarcube Corner.

"Oh Mr. Dalton! Please do come to my boutique for your gift and change out of that... horrid excuse for clothing," huffed a tired Rarity, who had run all the way from Carousal Boutique to Sugarcube Corner after awaking from a fainting spell.

"Later," Dalton told Celestia, who replied with a curt nod.

LELELELELEL

At the boutique, Dalton admired the round flank that was present before him and it shined in his eyes like a brilliant morning sun. His own morning glory threatened to creep out and attack Rarity with merciless fury, playing out the plots of the numerous clopfics that he had read before. Rarity had told Dalton to stay on the ground floor of the boutique as she went upstairs to her room to get the finished gift, then proceeded to draw the curtains; she obviously intended it to be a surprise and didn't want anypony else to see.

After what seemed to be like an eternity, Rarity finally descended the steps and lifted out a dazzling one piece suit with her magic, quite similar to the dress ordered by Sapphire Shores in A Dog and Pony Show. Dalton's face became red, not because there were frills at the ends of the sleeves, or that there were gems on every inch of the suit; no, he flushed with embarrassment (and a hint of arousal) as he saw, between the legs of the suit, was a large hole. It was even bordered by frills.

"Mr. Dalton, you had.. quite the show out there when you battled Discord. And even before that, when you were walking with us ponies, you couldn't quite tame that... stallion of yours," Rarity said nervously, "So it gave me the impression that you were in heat all of the time."

Oh fuck she's horny! She wants me! thought Dalton, naughty thoughts roaming his mind, and Rarity removed his clothing and placed the suit on him. Naturally, Dalton's lick stick was hard and was poking out of the hole Rarity made for him.

"I'd gladly satisfy you Rarity. Oh wait, one more thing, is Spike here?" Dalton asked mischievously, an idea forming in his head.

"Satisfy?! How dare you! I'd never stoop so low as that," Rarity retorted with indignation, "And yes, my little Spikey-Wikey is here at the boutique, why, might you ask? Oh Spike!! Come down here, the saviour of PonyVille wants to see you!"

Heh, she's obviously lying, thought Dalton. She totally wants the 'D'.

"Oh hey Mr. Dalton! I was hoping to find a chance to see you but Rarity wanted me to dig for diamonds! I was diligent, milady," Spike said, as he descended the steps from Rarity's room, cheerful as ever, "Thanks for saving the town by the way? How can Spike serve you?"

"Haha..... Spike, could you tie yourself in an unbreakable knot in that chair and face me and Rarity?" Something in Dalton's mind snapped in his excitement to carry on with his dreadful fantasies, but this was met with a confused glare from Rarity.

"What are you doing Mr. Dalton? I am most interested to know," Rarity said, casting a suspicious look at Dalton as a demented smile crossed his lips. Spike, being the diligent baby dragon he was, had himself all tied up, unable to escape. Dalton also forced a gag down his mouth, which Spike received with a smile.

Without a word, Dalton lunged for Rarity and starting rubbing her horn furiously. His hand clenched the warm extension and his palm fit just nicely onto it. Rarity's horn glowed momentarily and halted, as Rarity herself succumbed to bliss as the horn was stroked further. The unicorn horn was a sensitive spot, and one could disable the magic by rubbing it and causing pleasure to seep into the unicorn's body, therefore throwing them off their magical balance.

"Ohhhhhhhh yessssssssss," said Rarity, as if she was saying something whilst on a vibrating massage chair.

This was a refreshing change to Dalton; after all, his first genuine sexual encounter in PonyVille was with Discord. He shuddered to think of it, and focused instead on the increasingly wet glove box that was between Rarity's legs. Meanwhile, Spike, tethered to his chair, was shaking uncontrollably as he observed the love of his life getting herself taken advantage of by Dalton, and issued muffled screams as Dalton prepared to insert Excalibur. Exactly the reaction I want, thought Dalton.

Dalton then thrust his ass wedge into Rarity's snatch, while balancing himself by resting his left hand on her left cheek of her flank. It was oddly cavernous and loose, and the folds were much larger than he thought them to be. His baloney pony felt positively wet as it explored Rarity's depths. Then something even more far-fetched struck him; though Rarity was moaning in ecstasy, her moans weren't consistent with the rhythm of his thrusts; rather, they were at the same pace as before, when he used his hand to rub her horn. That meant his penetration wasn't giving her any pleasure.

"Oooo, my nethers are ticklish! Hehe," Rarity gasped, affirming Dalton's suspicions; it was only logical, since human beef sticks were many times smaller than stallion ones. Dalton hung his head in shame and sensed that his once proud pussy punisher did the same.

"Sorry Rarity, for attempting to sexually assault you." The words escaped Dalton's mouth before he could catch them, and they were laced with embarrassment and shame. After a long moment of silence, Rarity spoke up, bringing Dalton to attention.

"I'm very sorry dear, that you're not very well-endowed," Rarity said with a sympathetic smile, "But the length of your... thing... isn't your only measure of worth, my dear. It's the heart and soul you put into the activities you do. Look at me, I'm not the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria, but I use my talent in something I love, and I place a hundred percent effort into it. So don't you fret dear, you'll find a way."

Dalton was not comforted and turned his back on Rarity; his whole experience here was ruined and the weight of his lack of length silenced any comfort that Rarity tried to offer Dalton. He was here to rut mares and have a good time with it too... But he couldn't do it naturally. Viagra was out of the question since he used the last one against Discord; Twilight also established that her enlargement spells only worked for full body transformations. Dalton broke through the door of the Boutique and ran off into the morning streets of PonyVille, to go to wherever the wind took him.

"Dalton!" Rarity called, concern on her face. She somehow pissed off the hero of PonyVille; no doubt would she get flak for her actions. Rarity sighed and climbed the stairs, retreating to her room to wallow in whatever it was ponies wallowed in, in her dramatic nightgown.

"Hello?! Anypony out there? I just spat the gag out... Can anypony help me with these ropes? Rarity? Twilight? HELLO?"

Author's Note

Possibly the most boring chapter of mine. And naturally, the least weird. I think. Enjoy, leave a comment, favorite it, follow me, like it, blah blah blah, have a good day ahead.