The Eleven Doctors

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While Derpy was looking at how Ponyville was morphing, Twilight Sparkle was leaving her door open to accomodate more refugees, and blasting any approaching monsters with her magic.

The Daleks were none too keen on this: "YOU WILL COME OUT IN-TO THE O-PEN, DOC-TOR!!!"

"Why, so I can just let you kill me?"

The Daleks responded by shooting some warning blasts of their electric rays.

"Twahlaht, the Dahleks are gettin' closer!"

"Hurry Twily! Put up the magic shield!"

Twilight was initially reluctant to do so, as she hoped to accomodate more refugees, but she realized that if she left her house un-shielded for much longer, then the Daleks would come, exterminate all the ponies in there, and it would have all been for nought.  So with a heavy heart, she put up her inpenetrable magic shield, which destroyed and killed all Daleks within it, and kept all the remaining Daleks out.

Among the refugees were Sukhbataar and Harley, both possible fathers of Scootaloo.  They were not a gay couple, but rather, were seduced by the same mare, Corvette, often known as "Little Red", at some point in their life, and they actually had only grudging respect for each other.  Other than that, and the fact that they were Pegasi who were nearly 30 with orange coats and frequently subject to Rainbow's affections, which they both enjoyed as she was so much nicer than Corvette, they were tremendously different: Harley was a scroungy biker, whereas Sukhbataar was a soft-spoken scientist.  Harley was a typical Pony, and Sukhbataar was a entirely different race, a Przewalski's Horse.  Harley was from nearby Hoofston, and Sukhbataar came all the way from Przewalskia.  Harley grew his pale mane long, but Sukh kept his dark mane short.  Harley was talkative, and Sukhbataar was quiet.  Harley went as a slasher for Nightmare Night, and Sukhbataar went as Sheerluck (Pony Sherlock). Harley was always in barfights, and Sukhbataar was always a model citizen.  Needless to say, Scootaloo liked Harley better, which made Sukhbataar feel sad, because he truly did love Scootaloo and had little family than her.  It was, however, perhaps a bit of a comfort that Rainbow Dash apparently liked Sukh better than Harley, for reasons that so far, only Rainbow knows, assuming she could understand herself.

There was also Snips, who was dressed as a Sheltie (an MLP Hobbit), who was distressed because his friend Snails was outside, Fancy Pants, who was dressed in masquerade attire, Soarin', who was dressed as Han Solo, and also all of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Lyra saw Scootaloo crying because her mother was not among the refugees, and Scootaloo knew perfectly well what would most likely happen to Ponies who were out when there were Daleks and Cyberponies about: Death or Assimilation.  Lyra observed and despite usually being socially awkward, she knew, concluded that now was a time not to act like Tough Cookie...but now was a perfect time to act like the pony Tough Cookie always aspired to be, the Fourth Doctor: "Would you like a Jelly Filly?" she asked.  Scootaloo took a Jelly Filly, but had a hard time chewing and swallowing it because she was still sobbing intensely.  Lyra could not cheer up the filly so easily, but then she saw Doctor Red Cross, and she had an idea.

"You're a Doctor, right?"

"Yes, that's right, I'm the Doctor-"

"No you're not! You're a Doctor, but you're not THE Doctor! I'm THE Doctor, the definite article you might say!"

Then, Lyra picked up a jump rope and swung it over Dr. Red Cross' head, forcing him to jump with her, thus Lyra started up a chant:

"Mother! Mother! I feel sick!

Send for the Doctor, quick quick quick!

Mother dear, shall I die?

Yes my darling, by and by!"

Even though Lyra mentioned the word "mother" and "die", Scootaloo couldn't help but laugh a little.  Then she helped herself to another Jelly Filly...and another...and another...and another...until she had a sugar rush (Jelly Fillies, just like our Jelly Babies, are sugar bombs, more so than most candies): "WOWI'MSOHAPPYAREYOUHAPPYTOO?LET'SPLAY!!!"

Lyra was beaming with joy, because she mistakenly thought that it was her who made Scootaloo so happy!  Applejack, on the other hand, was feeling serious as all heck.

"Say Twahlaht, how do yah reckon all those monster came to Ponyville in the first place?"

"I don't know Applejack; I'm as stumped as the next mare.  The Gates of Tartarus? Space? Another reality? A psychic force of us all liking Doctor Whooves? I don't know" said Twilight.  "Frankly, I seriously doubt it's even that important."

Rainbow Dash, like all good mares, was entirely for abstinence, but at the same time, she had strong urges that she couldn't completely suppress, so she redeemed both sentiments in a curious fashion: By smothering Stallions with something edible and then licking them or nibbling them (except in their special areas), but nothing more.  It was so innocent and yet so un-innocent at the same time, and nopony else really knew what to make of it, but it seemed as if most of the stallions she captured enjoyed it enough.  She was especially keen on doing it during times of extreme stress, such as now.

"Lets start with...Apples!" she declared, picking up Big McIntosh and smothering him with applesauce and applecider, then she seized him and began to nibble his ear.  But then she paused, thought about it, and said: "On second thought, I hate Apples! Apples are rubbish!"

"How about...bacon?"

So she snagged Sukhbataar and wrapped him up in Bacon, but after a taste, she spat it out and said, "Scootaloo, what the heck is wrong with this potential father of yours?!? Are you trying to poison me?!!?" Before Scootaloo could explain it wasn't her fault that her dad was inedible, Rainbow Dash studied him carefully, and said..."No...he's fine...it's the food I used that's bad! How about...beans!"

Sukhbataar was then smothered with baked beans, and Rainbow Dash promptly began to lick him.  She didn't mind the way Sukh's coat tasted, but the beans-

She spat them out onto the sink and groaned "ugh, these beans are evil! Time for butter!"

So she got Soarin' and smothered him with butter, but then she spat the butter and his hairs out and threw him to the other side of the room.  "And stay there!" she shouted.

"You know what I really need?" said Rainbow Dash, grabbing Soarin', Sukhbataar, Shining Armor, and Harley by their tails, "what I need, is some Used Stud with Custard!"

"Hey! That 'Used Stud' is my husband!" yelled Cadence.

"I know, aren't you lucky?" chirped Rainbow Dash.

"Put him down.  NOW."

"Fine," pouted Rainbow Dash, dropping Shining Armor very hard on his bum, "Big Mac will have to do."

Then Rainbow Dash grabbed Bic Mac, and then, with their tails in hoof, she then dunked them in an impossibly large bowl of custard and swirled them in rapidly, like a blender.  Then she pulled them all out, all smothered in Custard, and began licking and nibbling them.  All were perfectly still and had wingboners, save Mac.

It was a good thing that Shining Armor wasn't a Pegasus, because he would have got a mild wingboner in response to Dash's affections and how she took them out.  He was still staring and blushing, much to the suspicions of his wife.

In apparent response to this all of this, Derpy began to play "Little Red Corvette" on her recorder.

Octavia, Rarity, and Trixie were all arguing over the situation and how it happened:

"It's all your fault, you know that right?" Octavia spat at Trixie.

"Nonsense! The great and powerful Trixie was not the one who summoned the Daleks to Ponyville, merely the one who gave them something to fear."

Rarity began to scream: "Yes, and don't you know what Daleks do when they're afraid of something? THEY BUCKING KILL IT!!!! And now that you've got them scared horseapples of us, they're surrounding the library, waiting for us to DIE!!!!"

"Hmph! The Great and Powerful Doctor Trixie is ready to die a most honorable and glorious death!"

Fluttershy tried to say something to Trixie, but it was mumbled over and quiet.

"What?!!" Yelled Trixie

"Yeah...um...I'm sorry...I-I-I-I couldn't hear your over the sound of your ego...or the noise of your coat...*eep!*"

With that, a huge physical fight started, with Trixie trying to pound Fluttershy and Rarity defending her best friend against the Unicorn.

Then Rainbow Dash with difficult, pulled Rarity from Trixie (Fluttershy was sitting on top of Trixie's chest and punching her in the jaw repeatedly, until Trixie's mouth bled). Rarity, however, squirmed out of Rainbow's hooves and lept upon Trixie again, and snarling: "YOU LITTLE BI-"

Then, all stopped what they were doing when they heard this conversation from the outside.

"I COULD NOT HELP BUT FIND PLEASURE IN TWIST-ING THESE SEN-TI-MEN-TAL CHANTs OF THEIR'S INTO DALEK PROSE!!!! WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS SEN-SA-TION????"

"THAT WOULD BE HU-MOR, DAL-EK G-8-5-M-7-3."

"HU-MOR?? FAS-CIN-A-TING!!!!I SHALL CON-TIN-UE TO EX-TER-MIN-ATE PO-NIES IN CRE-A-TIVE FASH-IONS TO CON-TIN-UE TO FE-EL THIS HUMOR!!!!!!!!"

After a pause, a Dalek voice spoke again: "DAL-EK D-9-2-K-0-1!!!"

"Yes, OF-FI-CER?"

"WATCH DAL-EK G-8-5-M-7-3.  HE IS FE-EL-ING MORE HU-MOR THAN IS NOR-MAL FOR DAL-EKS!! HE MAY BE DE-FEC-TIVE!!!!"

"I O-BEY!!"

There was another pause, and it was cut by this:

"HALT! YOU WILL I-DEN-TI-FY!"

"You will.  Identify. First."

"DAL-EKS DO NOT TAKE OR-DERS FROM LES-SAR BEINGS!!!!!"

"You have. Identified. As Daleks."

"OUT-LINE RE-SEM-BLES IN-FER-I-OR RACE KNOWN AS CY-BER-PO-NIES!!!!!!"

"Well. that. wasn't. very. nice."

"NICE?!?!? NICE???! NICE?!?!?!??!??!?!?!! I DO NOT KNOW THE MEAN-ING OF THE WORD; IT IS NOT RE-GIS-TERED IN MY VO-CAB-U-LAR-Y BANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"This. Is. Obvious."

"AU-DI-O SCANS IM-PLY MI-LD SAR-CASM!!!! RE-TRACT!!! RE-TRACT!!!!!"

"Why. Apologize. When you. called us. Inferior?"

"I--  HUH.  ...........GOOD................POINT............."

"State. your. Business."

"WE ARE SUR-ROUND-ING THE CUR-RENT SHEL-TER OF THE DE-MON KNOWN AS THE DOC-TOR!!!"

"Doctor? THE Doctor?"

"NO, I MEAN DOC-TOR RAB-BIT...OF COURSE I MEAN THE DOC-TOR!!!!"

"Easy. there. No need. To. be. Mean."

"DON'T TELL A DAL-EK WHAT TO DO!!!!"

"Apologies.  Would you like. An alliance?"

"WHAT FOR??????"

"To berid.  Of the Doctor.  Forever."

"RE-QUEST................................AC-CEPTED!!!!!!!"

Derpy heard it all, and sighed.  "Well this is it then."

"It's what Derpy?" asked Rainbow Dash

"It's over.  Sooner or later, our time will come."

"Oh nonsense," replied Rarity, in spite of her previous despair, "I felt that way once...it was my darkest day ever...but it was also my brightest..."

"No Rarity," Lyra said, "It's the end.  But the moment has been prepared for.  So now is a good time to smile..."

Pinkie said tearfully "I- I don't want to go!"

Everyone was surprised when the normally pessimistic Octavia declared "Oh, it is far from being over! There is still a hope, a chance at defeating all the monsters, even if some Tom-fool makes it hard for us" she added, glaring at Trixie.  "We must make form a group, and a plan."

"Yes sir!" Lyra shouted. "Twilight, you're smart; got any ideas for how to defeat the Daleks?"

"Well-" Twilight began, but she couldn't be certain...how do you defeat a Dalek? The Doctor often had luck on his side, which Twilight seemed to be out of.

"Say Lyra...what do you know about Dalek anatomy?"

"Well, okay, Daleks are basically the descendant of ponies who were transported by higher powers to the planet Skaro.  The final versions of these ponies were called "Kaleds' and 'Thals', and Davros took some Kaled embryos and then cut all the 'chaff' of their genes, reducing them only to the things he considered important: Lumps of neural tissue with no remorse, which were the Daleks.  He cut so much from their genes that without software to store more memory and help make straight loops in planning, Daleks would not be rational or even animals, but mere monsters.  Davros thought that Evolution was synomymous with permanent improvement, which goes to show that he really didn't understand Evolution at all-"

"No Lyra, I meant the machines- wait, what did you say?"

"I said that Daleks are basically Ponies that-"

"No, I mean, they need software to remember anything?"

"That's right: Their organic brains are only capable of killing, so they need software enhancements to remember and to speak-"

"That's it!"

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The Closing theme for today's episode!

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