The Eleven Doctors

The theme to today's episode:

Youtube Video

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"That's what Twilight?" asked Rainbow Dash

"The Daleks can't really think at all without hard drives!" replied Twilight  "Shining, remember when you put all those magnetic comics on your computer?"

"Yeah...it wrecked my hard drive..."

"Exactly! (See everypony, this is what I have to deal with!) We can use magnets to wreck the Daleks' hard drives! Then they will be incapable of remaining organized and just shoot everything indiscriminately!"

"But..."

"But what, Ditzy?" asked Twilight.

"Isn't the problem with the Daleks that they are indiscriminate enough as it is?"

The whole room was silent.  Ditzy Derpy made a very good point.

"But Ditzy, you heard what they said outside: The Daleks already made an alliance with the Cyber-Ponies.  That cannot end well.  There aren't just Daleks out there: There are Silurians, Sontarans, Weeping Angels, and maybe Zygons and the Silence and Celestia-knows-what out there.  We can't get rid of all them all by ourselves, we need to wipe the Dalek hard-drives clean to get them to "exterminate" them for us, since with the hard-drives wiped, they'll shoot everything, even their allies."

Fluttershy wimpered and hid her head in her hooves "Tha-that sounds so ruthless Twilight...you're already beginning to act like the Seventh Doctor *eep!!"

Twilight gave her a sympathetic hoof: "I know Fluttershy, but it's what we have to do to free Ponyville.  If we don't stop this, these infestations will spread until all of Equestria is either Dalek or Cyberpony.  So what we must do is turn their weapons against each other, starting with turning the Daleks against everything, even other Daleks."

"Awesome!" replied Rainbow Dash, "but how about the Daleks themselves?"

"I don't know, actually.  Lyra...how do the Daleks get their energy."

"Oh! lots of ways! They mostly get it either through static electricity on the floors of their metal structures or through small inner nuclear reacters-"

"They must be running on the Nuclear reactors, since Ponyville doesn't have any Skaro floors; I know how to stop them: Boron.  It's an element that can interfere with the movements of atomic particles.  The only problem is, Ponyville doesn't have any Boron, does it?"

"I have some Boron!" Pinkie Pie never failed to surprise them.

"What? Pinkie?! But...how?" Twilight decided to not bother "nevermind, is it in Sugarcube Corner?"

"Yes indeedy!"

"Okay then, we shall use magnets to lobotomize the Daleks, and then disable their inner power-generators!"

"Excellent!" proclaimed Shining Armor.

"Sounds like a plan!" said Rarity.

"FAAAAAAANTASTIC!" Applejack concluded.

"I promote Lyra and Twilight to be the leaders of this outing!"

All heads turned to Shining Armor.  He was the one who blurted it out.

"I mean, face it, they know more about Doctor Whooves than the rest of us put together."

"Well-" Twilight was initially uncertain, but Lyra had all the confidence in the world.

"We most certainly can! Under the leadership of me and Twilight, we'll exterminate all the monsters before you can say 'Jelly Fillies'!"

"Jelly Fillies!" shouted Derpy, but then she looked outside and then turned her head back towards Lyra with an exasperated expression on her face: "Nope, they're still there, even though I said 'Jelly Fillies'."

Twilight however, was not 100% confident in this: "I realized something: We probably can't do this as ourselves, and we can't have all the refugees come with us, we should stay as a small group, or at least in teams, under a handful of leaders acting as the Doctor."

"How come?" asked Applejack

Pinkie Pie giggled: "Hee hee hee!!! Because silly, the title is The Eleven Doctors! Not The Three Dozen Schmoes in Cosplay!"

"Wut?" asked Applejack.

"Just ignore her" sighed Twilight.  "I just don't think that as Twilight, I can really defeat them.  In fact, somehow, I have a feeling that I'm not supposed to even be Twilight."

"Ah know that feeling Sugarcube: Ah'm not fit tuh take on Dahleks an' Cahberponies an' Zahgons, or at least, Applejack ain't.  The Nahnth Doctor, however...There's also something in my head...something sayin'...Ah'm s'posed to be the Doctor rahght now..."

"Applejack, that voice is called, 'The Author'; he is writing this story!" squealed Pinkie Pie with ecstasy.

Ignoring Pinkie Pie, "Oh brother, does this mean we have to be in-character?" asked Rainbow Dash.

"To a small and reasonable extent, yes!" answered Twilight.  "I- I just have this sinking feeling that there is something out there that wants us to be the Doctor.  That we can't win unless we are the Doctor."

"But what about the rest of us" asked Shining, "we aren't letting you go out there alone!"

Then Twilight looked, and saw the many Ponies and variations-thereupon in her library.

"Say, Shining, what is that you're wearing?" asked Twilight

"Oh this? It's a uniform of my favorite Uncle; he was a one-star general-"

"A one-star general? You mean like...a Brigadier?"

"Why, yes Twily! I-adfhgmthf!" His mouth was stuffed by Twilight's hoof.

"Okay, then you go shall be the Brigadier!"

"But Twily, that's not a Doctor Whooves character!"

"Actually, it is."

"Well then, what does this Brigadier do?"

"Mostly, he orders cannon-fodder around and gets exasperated at the Doctor"

"Oh.  I can do that!"

"Good.  You're on Rarity's team."

Cadence scowled as Shining Armor was forcefully herded towards Rarity.

"Okay, Twist!" shouted Twilight.

"Yeth?"

"You're Adric, stick with Fluttershy."

"I will be the betht companion thhe could athk for!"

"Bon-Bon, what's that you're wearing?" Twilight inquired.

"It's a Beatles uniform."

"You look like Healing Hoof.  Go with Lyra"  ("Healing Hoof" is the name for the character we call "Harry Sullivan")

"Okay" Twilight began, "Carrot Top, who are you?"

"Me? I'm Ginny Weasely!"

"Since that rubbish thing you're wearing looks more like a kilt than a mini-skirt, you can be Sgian Dubh!" (It is pronouched "Skein Duh", and Sgian Dubh is the Pony name for the character we know as "Jamie McCrimmon")

"Well, what does he do?" asked Carrot

"Mostly, he just acts Scottish."

"Oh.  I can do that!" And to prove her point, she grabbed a caber log out of nowhere and tossed it at Twist (nopony likes Twist).

"Great, now Snowflake, you're Rebel Heart, go with Cadence!" ("Rebel Heart" is what Ponies call "Luncie Miller"; Snowflake was dresses as a stereotypical secret agent, so the costume worked)

"YYYEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!" Snowflake shouted.

"You! Spitfire; what's that?"

"Oh this? Just formal attire."

"You're going as Free Breeze with Fluttershy." (Free Breeze was the Pony name for Tegan)

"Now, I need to send more companions with Derpy...Mr. and Mrs. Cake, you're going to be Strong Arm and Swift Type; mostly they just are in awe of how weird the Doctor is, so that role with Derpy shouldn't be too hard." (Which were the Pony names of Ben Jackson and Polly Wright, respecitvely) "Now Berryshine Punch, you shall be Peri Dox, so stich with Cadence!" (Charley Pollard is the non-Pony name to Peri Dox)

"Sukhbataar, we need you as Clever Girl to go with Rainbow Dash." (Clever Girl was what the Ponies called Clara Oswin Oswald) Sukh got a wingboner at this.

"Meadow Song', you also go with Rainbow Dash, as River Song." This too, got a wingboner.

Neither knew what exactly those roles were, they just knew that they got to be around Rainbow Dash, and if they knew, they would be all the more pleased.

"Judging from your reactions, I'd say you'd be happy to join, but I take it that you won't be able to fly."

There were blushes upon both of their faces.

"Blossomforth, you are going to be Nyssa, head for team Fluttershy.  Now Fancy Pants, I don't know what else to make you besides Master Key, so stick with Rarity!" (Master Key was the Pony Name for Joe Grant) Twilight then asked, "Okay, Big Mac, what are you?"

"Spock."

"Thought as much, do you know who C'rizz is?"

"Nope."

"He is a companion of the Eighth Doctor in the Audio Dramas, and he is a often a quiet and simple soul who doesn't fully know who he is; can you play that role?"

"Eeyup!"

"Good! Stick with Cadence!"Shouted Twilight, and then she asked "Blueblood! Who are you?"

"The sexy Equestrian WWII veteran!"

"Star Hunter.  Hooves down.  Stick with Applejack." (Star Hunter is the Pony Name for Jack Harkness)  "And you! Filthy Rich! You're Pennan Paper." (The Pony name for Sarah Jane Smith)

"Bu-but...what about me?" Pouted Pinkie Pie, "See, that's the thing: I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know who I am! It's all untested! Am I funny? Sarcastic? Sexy?"

"Oh Pinkie" Twilight said "you can pretty much be yourself, and then your companions, I'll get Pokey Pierce for Heartha and Jelly-Guy for Dunno." (Martha and Donna, respectively)

Then Twilight looked to her parents: "Mom, Dad, please be careful", and then looked to Octavia: "You are the first Doctor, and my parents are Enlight Enment and Focused Research.  Take care of them."  (Enlight Enment was the name of Barbara Wright, and Focused Research was Ian Chesterfield.)

Twilight then asked "Now, who are you Iron Will?"

"Iron Will is Rick Roll! Iron Will would never give you up, or let you down!"

But Twilight looked, and saw that his wig was cheap and curly.

"You look more like Cyber Brain." (The Pony Name for Mel Bush) "But I don't know if you should come."

Twilight was swiftly proven wrong with Iron Will approached Trixie, who was guzzling cookies, and shouted:

"You don't want to start a riot,

take my advice, and stay on a diet!"

"Yep, he's Cyber Brain alright! C'mon Iron Will, I need you on my team! We'll call you...Iron Mel!"

"All Daleks will go to Hell,

If they cross paths with Iron Mel!" Iron Will shouted.

"It's settled then!" proclaimed Twilight, "Now, how about Hoity Toity be Skirtsen Explosions, who travelled with the Second Doctor, and Dr. Red Cross go with Cadence as Medical Mystery?" (Skirtsen Explosions was what the Ponies called Victoria, and Medical Mystery was the Pony name of Molly O'Sullivan) Twilight continued "Spike will go with me as Ace.  It's the Doctor they want..." Twilight added a touch of menace to the following: "...it's the Doctor they'll get."

"What about the Great and Powerful Trixie?"

Twilight realized that she forgot all about Trixie, but had no assignment for her! Nor did she want to give her any, as of all the Ponies, Trixie would be the one who would most likely screw it up.

"You'll, um... ...stay and um.... ....fly the TARDIS!" Twilight said, gesturing her hoof to the whole library, the center of which was altered to resemble a classic Whooves TARDIS console.  "You also can use your amazing powers to protect all of the remaining Refugees!"

Much to Twilight's relief, Trixie accepted the role: "The Great and Powerful, Sixth Doctor, can fly the Great and Powerful TARDIS better than any other Great and Powerful pony!"

Twilight simply thought: Do you hear that sound Trixie? That's the sound of Gentle Heart pointing and laughing at you.

"Get out Rainbow Dash, we need you.  Now."

Twilight grabbed Rainbow Dash out of the large bowl of custard with her magic.

"But Twilight! I wasn't finished yet!"

Before they left, Sukhbataar had something to say to Rainbow Dash:

"Listen, if...if do this...I would like to have you over for dinner...in my place..."

"Sure! I would love to eat you for dinner again! You taste good with custard! I'll be you'll taste good with gravy too!"

"No no no, I didn't mean ME for dinner (though frankly, that doesn't bother me much), I meant, you eating a proper meal for all of us, over at my home, on one of the days when Scootaloo comes over to see me."

"Oh".

That was her only response, but there was some looking away and some blushing on her part, yet a simple and almost unreadable expression, but it ended with a small and sheepish smile.

Soarin' seized the opportunity, and began: "Rainbow, you can eat me with custard any time!"

"B'aww! Thanks Soarin'!"

"Well, too bad!" Shouted Twilight, "You're going with Applejack, Soarin'! As Roseluck!" (Roseluck was the Pony name for Rose Tyler)

Then Derpy turned to all of her companions and said "When I say 'muffins'....MUFFINS!!!"  At this, all her companions pretended to understand, though alas, they did not.

"Now let's go out...and take a first step into the greatest risk we probably all ever took."

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Within the spa, there was a simple hoof making a simple sound...

tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap, tap-tap-tap-tap.

"Oh, my dear Doctor, you have been naive..."

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Closing theme to today's episode:

Youtube Video