In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by Rowling and WB. MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro. I claim nothing from either of them.

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Chapter 3: Q & A Session (Part 1)

"Alright. My first question is, of course, what happened? What left you and your friends in such a state? I mean, one does not suffer magical exhaustion and Chaos-tainted wounds from a mere stroll through the park."

Harry figured he might as well get the hard stuff out of the way, first-- it would be painful for Twilight, but he had to know, in case whatever happened might prove to be harmful to he and his. At least this way, his other questions would hopefully take her mind off the subject later.

Harry mentally cringed when the look of eager anticipation she had sported after he offered to answer her questions faded, her violet eyes dulling as she undoubtedly relived what she considered her failure. Ridiculous thought, to be sure, but… well, when you get to blaming yourself for something, it could be rather hard to accept it wasn't your fault. He should know-- like he'd hinted to the poor girl before him, he'd blamed himself for all the deaths in the Second Wizarding War (well, all the deaths of those close to him, anyway-- after a while, he had stopped giving a flying fuck about the Wizarding World in general, and had offed Voldemort more out of vengeance than anything else) enough times in the past.

"We…" she began, then paused in trepidation, before visibly steeling herself and continuing, "We were battling Discord, the Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos. The initial plan was to hit him with the Elements of Harmony, seal him back into stone, then use the Elements to revert all the damage he had caused. Unfortunately, the Magic Missile I wove with the magic from the Elements was blocked, and we were quickly put on the defensive.

"We were losing when the Princesses arrived-- I think they were there to distract him, so that we could get another shot at defeating him. I wove another Magic Missile, but was too slow before Discord noticed we were defenseless and attacked us directly. From there, I'm not quite sure what happened: I fired just as the Princesses appeared before us, I… heard both of them scream in pain, I think, then the world just sort of… twisted and I blacked out. Next thing I know, I woke up to find myself in this form, with Susan there to greet me."

Harry absorbed her tale-- while trying his best to ignore her haunted, thousand-yard stare all the while, and being only marginally successful-- and worked through the information. A being called Discord claiming to be a Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos, and something called the Elements of Harmony--

"The necklaces and the tiara we took off them, I think."

"Hermione? Finally decided to come out of your research, love?"

"Nope, just caught a bit of your thoughts and thought you should know. I think these Elements of Harmony are the necklaces and tiara we took off the six mortal girls-- the gems mounted on them are crystallized Order Magic, designed to… gather and amplify magic, by the looks of things. The five necklaces channel the mana of the wearers to whoever's wearing the tiara, though how it does that, I haven't figured out."

"…Yet."

A giggle echoed down the bond. "…Yet, of course."

"How about the pieces found on the two goddesses?"

"As far as I can tell? Enchanted to be unbreakable… and that's about it. I think they might be ceremonial, for the most part. Maybe a form of back-up armor, in case they can't get a deflection spell up in time?"

"The wands?"

"Those are strange-- from cursory scans, ridiculously magical unicorn horns, and they read as still attached."

"…I'm sorry?"

"You heard me."

"That's…"

"Weird, I know. Might be evidence for your theory, though."

"Maybe. Want to ask Ms. Twilight here some questions, just to be sure. Thanks, Hermione. Don't forget to take a break, alright?"

There was a sultry mental purr. "Oh? And what will you do if I don't? Will you come and… get me… yourself, like last time? I must admit, I quite enjoyed…"

"I'll send Luna."

"…Right, I'm done. You fight dirty, you know that? Dear Creator, if I didn't know better, I could swear that girl was part shikima…"

Harry mentally chuckled as he turned his attention back to his previous train of thought. So, some entity called Discord and the Elements of Harmony… Discord had enough power to overcome the innate magical resistance of, and majorly wound, two goddess of Order, and the Elements of Harmony were composed of crystallized Order magic. Assuming Discord was at least a high-level Chaos God-- a safe assumption, all things considered-- and Twilight had cast her spell just as Discord's spell neared her little group, there was a high possibility that the two types of magic collided. Huh. Well, that explained how they got here-- Order Magic and Chaos Magic never got along, and when they meet, strange things tended to happen. Actually, teleportation-- even inter-dimensional teleportation, which he suspected-- was unusually low-key, as far as possible results went. Perhaps a trip and a some major anatomical transformations…?

Next question.

"The tattoos on your thighs, and the wing tattoos on the back of the rainbow-haired girl and the pink-haired girl… do they have any kind of significance?"

His question seemed to knock Twilight out of her brooding-- and he smiled when his rather amateurish plan to keep her mind off her guilt appeared to have succeeded-- as she blushed, probably because he had just indirectly told her he'd seen her naked. Then her blush turned into a look of shock.

"You don't know what a Cutie Mark is?"

There was total silence in his mind after that particular revelation.

"…It's called a what?"

"Cutie Mark. Dear Creator, they call it a Cutie Mark."

"…I think I just got diabetes."

"Girls, be nice."

"…Or a cavity. At least a cavity. I mean… Cutie Mark?!"

"Scylla. Down girl."

"…What am I, a dog?"

"Well, you certain like it doggy--"

"LUNA!!!"

"Fu fu fu…"

Harry dragged his attention away from the antics of his bond-mates (and Luna's strange laugh-- where did she get that from? It certainly wasn't any of them, and he was certain she hadn't laughed like that back at Hogwarts…) to ask Twilight the million-Galleon question.

"And just what is a… Cutie Mark?" Dear Creator, just saying it left him feeling like he needed to check his glucose levels!

"Ha! Told you!"

"We never disagreed, love, we just want you to be nicer about it."

A huff and a pout. "Whatever."

"A Cutie Mark," Twilight began, getting into something he liked to call the "Lecturer Stance" (it was something Hermione did quite often… and made quite sexy, too. Come to think of it, Twilight looked damn cute in the Lecturer Stance… perhaps she was an inter-dimensional version of Hermione?), "Is a magical mark that appears when one finds their special talent, something they can do better than any other po-person. It can either represent the talent itself, or an attribute that is related to the talent, and usually appears during foalho- err, pre-adolescence. Mine, for example--" and here she blushed bright red again "--is a pink six-pointed star over a white six-pointed star, surrounded by five smaller six-pointed stars, also white. It shows that my special talent is learning and wielding magic, and symbolizes magic itself."

Harry "hmm"-ed as he digested this. So the marks were representative of a talent of some kind, something one could do better than most other people… okay, that made sense in his case, as his was the mark of the Deathly Hallows. Maybe Neliel's case as well, since she was a descendent of Loki through Sleipnir, and a Herbology and Potions Mistress… Hermione's and Luna's definitely, since Hermione was a book with the alchemic sign for the sun, and Luna's was a winged sword of fire, both the marks of their respective ancestors. But what about Scylla, Daphne, and Susan?

"We'll get on it, Harry. I must admit, now that we know what they are, I'm curious as to what ours mean, as well."

"My thanks, ladies."

Right, his girls were working on that. Time for the next question-- oh wait.

"And what about the wings?"

Twilight blinked in confusion, before seeming to recognize what he was referring to and replying, "Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy used to be Pegasi. I can only imagine that's what happened to their wings in our current forms."

Harry barely kept himself from twitching as he heard the names-- Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy…? First Twilight Sparkle (the poor girl), then Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?! Were all of their names like this? What were the other girl's called? Pinkie? Amethyst? Golden Delicious?

…Well, actually… the blonde was kinda hot… he wouldn't mind finding out if she really was de--

"Son of a--! Damn it, Luna! Stop sending your twisted little thoughts into my head, you minx! How are you even doing that, anyway?"

His only response were giggles. From all of his wives. Shivers of fear and… anticipation ran down his spine, and he wondered what they were planning.

After throwing Luna's transplanted thought (seriously, how did she do that?) into a box and locking that box away into the most deepest, darkest recesses of his mind, Harry turned his attention to the relevant parts of Twilight's answer. Pegasi, huh? So his theory was most likely true: his guests had all been previously equine, of the same type as the animagus forms of his wives and himself. But just to make sure...

"So am I to assume all of you were originally some kind of equine species?" he asked.

"Yes, " Twilight answered with an affirmative nod, "We call ourselves Equestrians, after our country, or, more colloquially, ponies."

Hmm… "Equestrian"… so their country was called Equestria? Land of the Horsemen?

"Actually, I think it's more 'Land of the Horse-Men.'" Hermione's mental voice corrected.

Harry thought about it for a bit, before answering, "I don't know… that makes it sound like they're a country of centaurs, and if Twilight's reaction when she woke up was any indication, they've probably never seen a human before. A centaur would at least recognize a human torso."

"Perhaps it's 'Land of the Horses That Are Like Men,' since they're obviously sentient?" Daphne offered. The bonded thought over the suggestion for a bit, before agreeing upon it-- it was the most likely answer (despite the glaring logical inconsistency in the form of an absence of humans in Equestria), and they had nothing better. That little curiosity figured out, Harry turned to clarifying more of the information they were receiving.

" I see… and I take it that you and the other one with the purple hair were unicorns, while the other pinkette and the blonde were… err, regular ponies?"

Twilight nodded in affirmation again. "Rarity and I are Unicorns, yes, and Pinkie Pie and Applejack are Earth Ponies."

Harry fought another twitching fit down as his mind derailed from the newly learned names. Well, one name in particular.

"Wow… you were spot on there."

"…Aren't I supposed to be the Seer? You're stealing my gig, Harry!"

"I… that is… I mean… okay, Rarity isn't so bad, I guess, and Apple Jack had a name similar to the liquor, so more power to her, but… Pinkie Pie?!? Seriously?!"

"…You have to admit, though: ridiculously cutesy name or not, she's hot!"

"Luna..."

"That wasn't me! …But I must agree-- I'd like a slice of that pie any day! Yum!"

"…Then who was-- Scylla?!"

"…What? Can you blame me? I'm bisexual, and she's got the most amazing set of hips and breasts I've ever seen!"

"…"

"…Well, aside from Neliel, of course, but nothing trumps Neliel. Dear Creator, I could spend days worshiping those sweet, luscious--"

Harry muted the link and fought down the urge to simultaneously blush, sigh, and rub his temples in front of Twilight. Honestly, when did his girls become so…? It had to be Luna's presence in the bond, it just had to be. He was relatively certain none of the girls were ever this… vocal before he bonded Luna; people who say men are the biggest perverts in existence had obviously never met the raging nymphomaniac in a cute little blond package that was his most unpredictable wife… which was ironic, seeing as how her Elemental Alignment was Order.

Boxing and locking away his current train of thought right next to the earlier transplant from Luna, Harry once again turned his attention to the relevant parts of Twilight's answer.

"And I take it that Earth Ponies have some sort of innate magic? Or are Ms. Pie and Ms. Jack special cases?"

"No, Earth Ponies are especially in-tuned with the earth, hence the name. They're naturally better at farming and physical activities, and any harvest they have a hoof in is always larger than average."

"…Physical activities, you say? I wonder if that applies to--"

Having expected that particular thought as soon as those words had left Twilight's lips, Harry was able to quickly tune Luna out before he had to fight down another blush.

"And the Pegasi? I'm going to assume their magic is... err, sky based?"

"Yes. They can manipulate clouds, and their primary job is to take care of Equestria's weather."

Harry couldn't help it after hearing that answer-- his jaw dropped, and his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, with how much they were bugged out. They had weather control magic. Dear Creator in Heaven, they had weather control magic…

"Harry…" Hermione's equally shocked mental voice whispered over the bond, "You are going to make her tell you everything she knows about how the Pegasi use their weather magic, and you are going to get answers. I don't care how you do it, but you are going to get me that information. Do so, and I will be your eternal servant; I will let you do all kinds of kinky, perverse, degrading things to me. I'll be your little cum-slut until I'm covered and bloated and leaking. I'll--"

"--You already do all those things," Luna chimed in, annoyingly not shocked. Did nothing phase that girl?

"And I'm really not a fan of the whole dom/sub thing anyway," Harry added in his two cents.

"…Shut up and get me that information!!!"

"Err… Harry?" Twilight inquired, giving him a look of apprehension, "Are you alright?"

It took Harry several moments to realize his face was still frozen in a shocked expression. He quickly schooled his features with an embarrassed cough. "My apologies, Twilight, but I was surprised. We've never been able to develop a particularly viable form of weather magic, so hearing that the Pegasi of your homeland-- Equestria, you said it was?-- can wield such an ability as to make it the job of choice for the majority of them… it's incredible. Will it be possible for you to divulge some information about it?"

Twilight looked decidedly uncomfortable at the question, and Harry honestly thought she was about to dodge it or something when she replied, "Err… actually, as far as I know, it's innate to their type. The best Unicorns can do is a spell that allows for walking on clouds-- it's the only way for Earth Ponies and Unicorns to stay on and get around Cloudsdale-- and a spell that forms a miniature black cloud that usually shoots a single lightning bolt before it dispels."

Harry sighed and slumped down a little; his divine senses weren't detecting a lie, so Twilight honestly didn't know anything about Equestrian weather magic, and wasn't just trying to avoid the question to keep potentially sensitive secrets away from him. Pity, really. If this had panned out, they might have finally had something other than the massively complicated, extremely mana extensive rituals that barely ever worked that were the most current and successful forms of weather magic known to magic-kind.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Harry could have sworn he heard Hermione face-plant into her desk in disappointment. He made a mental note to make it up to her later.

"Err… sorry?" Twilight offered, embarrassed. It was probably from having her ignorance demonstrated-- she seemed the type to want to be able to answer every question, much like Hermione was wont to.

"It's alright," Harry said, waving her worries away, before sitting upright again. "So, I've asked you about what happened to bring you girls here, what those tattoos you all have are, and I was going to ask you what you all were and where you all came from, but you answered those last two already. I think that's all I have for you at the moment, so do you have any questions for me?"

The look of utter glee Twilight sported made Harry wonder just what he'd gotten himself into…

Author's Note

A/N: This chapter… was a lot harder to write than it should have been. Probably because, aside for studying for finals and finishing various essays, I actually had to completely rewrite this chapter from scratch-- the first draft was, on hindsight, horrifically bad. Like something one of those brain dead teeny boppers who think Twilight is a masterpiece would write. Yuck.

…Huh… speaking of which, has anyone tried a Twilight X MLP:FiM crossover? How would that even work? "Hey Twilight? Why do I get the urge to laugh my flank off at you every time I see that really pale monkey-looking guy that keeps stalking you?" "I don't know, but I feel like he's a mockery of my name…"

Also, before anyone asks: Scylla is not an OC! She is a canon character, just… changed. A great deal. Both physically and mentally. Also, this Neliel is neither an OC or the one from Bleach, though she does share physical similarities… like in a certain set of three numbers…

So… quite a bit happened in this chapter for what is merely the first half of the Harry/Twilight conversation: we get a glimpse into the dynamics within the Soul Bond, we find out who Harry's wives are, and we found out Harry and his wives all have Cutie Marks. Also, the Applejack/Apple Jack thing: that is NOT A TYPO!!! Twilight is aware that "Applejack" is one word, but Harry has no reason to know that, hence why he thinks her name sounds like the alcoholic beverage, but is composed of two words. This difference was deliberate, so as to emphasize the different perspectives! So all those trolls out there, don't bitch about it, or you'll have a very unfornate personal meeting with my Maliwan Volcano Sniper Rifle (Borderlands and BL2 FTW!!!).

Oh, and Luna L. is a nympho, because that's the only way Adult!Luna should ever be written.

(1) Twilight was about to say "foalhood," but realized she had no idea what the human equivalent of fillies and colts were. Hence, the switch to something more… species neutral.

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