In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

A Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: I don't own blah blah blah... seriously, we all know who owns HP and MLP. Do I really have to continue to rehash it?

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Interlude: Missions

Discord remembered an old Chinese saying he’d heard, once upon a time: “May you live in interesting times.”

As far as he was concerned, it was just more confirmation that China (not to be confused with Chi-ma, China’s Gaian counterpart) was a shitty country full of assholes.

He had to admit, though: the saying had provided the perfect cover for him. The first time around, all he’d had to do was tell Tia-hime and Luna-chibi that he wanted to make the world a more interesting place, and they’d let their Onii-chan continue with his “pranks” until it was nearly too late. Hell, he was relatively sure they still didn’t know it was never about messing with their beloved subjects; they probably still thought he was causing chaos because he wanted to bring about some “interesting times,” and had a seriously skewed sense of what was appropriate or not.

He sighed, and not for the first time found himself wondering: how had it come to this? His creed, his duty, had always been to protect those that needed his protection. Even after all he’d gone through, even after his death and ascension, that was the one thing that remained unchanged about him, the pillar upon which his very self had been built. His was the soul of the guardian, the shield that stood between those that would harm the innocent.

Yet, he had struck down and (however inadvertently) banished the guardians of this world, and was now putting those he had sworn to protect through unimaginable suffering as he twisted them, and the world around them, on a metaphysical level. He had become as monstrous inside as he appeared outside, the enemy he had always stood against.

But… it was for a good cause, right? This… this was justice; he was just taking what he was owed, what Creation owed him a hundred times over. This was him telling those in charge that he’d had it with them. Bad enough they’d taken everything from him when he was mortal, bad enough that he’d died disgraced by his family, abandoned by his friends, and hunted by some backwater tribe of Nazi-feminist, but this…?

He’d been content to let bygones be bygones when he’d woken up and found himself on Gaia, in the company of two of the kindest, gentlest souls he ever had the pleasure of meeting. He’d thought that the universe was finally making it up to him-- that, despite his new appearance, he would have the chance to find true friends, family, and maybe, just maybe, honest-to-goodness, no-strings-attached, for-once-their-meeting-wasn’t-a-direct-result-of-his-greedy-ex-father, LOVE. For the first time since he was sixteen, he’d been honestly happy with his station in life.

But then the visions came, and he was shown the truth: this second life wasn’t a reward, it was Hell, merely the dangling of a bone he could never have, held by childish bullies that delighted in his suffering. This was just the latest in a long line of cruel jokes from the Fates: so close to finally having something that had been denied to him by everyone he’d ever known, something that those far less deserving had been given nearly free of charge… and he’d been told he couldn’t have it.

What right did they have to do that?! What fucking right did they have to deny him this?! Well, fuck them! Fuck all of them! They thought just because they had power, that they were gods, they could deny him one of the most essential rights of all sentients? No… enough was enough. He wasn’t going to-- didn’t have to-- stand for this anymore; he had to power to do something about it, now, and damn it if he wasn’t going to use it. Fuck the rules. Fuck the Balance. Creation owed him, God damn it, and if it wasn’t going to willingly give him what was his by right, then he would make it give it to him.

And so, as Discord sat back on his reformed throne in the center of the warped Ponyville, his eyes locked on where the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and the Royal Sisters had been defeated and banished into the ether (they were merely banished! He refused to believe his imouto were dead! He refused!), he reaffirmed his conviction:

He would have what was owed to him, even if it required him to turn his back on his Divine Duty and strike down those he loved most. It would be worth it, in the end-- when he had gotten what he wanted, he would fix everything. Nobody would ever know what he’d done.

Because he was going to break this world… break it, and remake it in his own image.

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Harry stood upon the balcony of the Master Bedroom, gazing out into the warm summer night. Inside the room behind him, on a bed of ridiculous proportions, laid his wives, all of them nude and sleeping of the exhaustion brought about by that night’s activities. Hermione, Daphne, and Scylla, in particular, were sporting the type of big, silly, blissed-out grins only the thoroughly loved could manage-- the former two, with Daphne being added last minute due to her plan for gaining Celestia’s trust succeeding, had been the main targets of Harry’s affections for a good portion of the night (not that he neglected anyone else, just that they received the brunt of his attention), while the latter had been subjected to the deliciously pleasurable torture only those who were intimately familiar with one's buttons could inflict.

…Come to think of it… he might have overdone it with the three of them. If previous experience was any indication, they would be walking bowlegged tomorrow, and Scylla might not recover all of her mental faculties until the afternoon—when Hermione finally allowed her to fall over the edge, the orgasm that had resulted had been the very definition of “mind-blowing,” rebounding in the Bond and feeding off each subsequent orgasm it triggered until near everyone had blacked out from the overwhelming pleasure. Only he’d been able to stay awake thanks to his Divine constitution, and even then it had been a near thing.

He chuckled. Damn… three of his guests finally woke up, he gained three new allies in those same guest, he might be earning the trust of one of his future co-workers (if he was reading Celestia giving him information of her own free will correctly), and all of that topped off with a night of incredible love-making… he had to admit, today had been GOOD, all letters capitalized, italicized, and bolded.

Harry blinked as he registered the sounds of a Hallelujah Chorus ringtone coming form the pockets of his pajama pants… which was strange, as, not only did he not have the song downloaded onto his phone, much less assigned as a ringtone to any of his contacts, but he’d left it on the cabinet beside his bed. Instantly on edge, he cautiously pulled out his phone to check the caller ID… and just as quickly relaxed when he found the screen lit up with four Hebrew letters: יהוה. Well, that explained the ringtone that shouldn’t be there, as well as how his phone had traveled across the room without him noticing. Without further ado, he flipped the phone open to answer the literal call from God.

“…”

“And a good evening to you as well, My Liege.”

“…”

“As well as expected, My Liege. I am happily married, and the sheep of England have not bothered me here in France. All I need are children to love and cherish, and my life will be complete.”

“…”

“Truly? Forgive my impetuousness, but why now?”

“…”

“…So it is true then? I am to become the Death God of Gaia?”

“…”

“…I see. And what of Discord?”

“…”

“…My Liege?”

“…”

“I-I see… If that is your command, then Your Will shall be done.”

“…”

“Thank You, My Liege.”

“…”

“Yes, until next time.”

The phone hanged up from the other side, and Harry slipped his cell back into his pocket. Two slim arms hugged him from behind, and he relaxed into the embrace, the Bond and his own senses telling him it was Luna.

“What did He say?” she asked, her hands running lightly along his chest and abs. Harry could feel her naked breasts pressing into his unclothed back, and he suppressed a shiver of desire; just an hour prior, those breasts had been thrust up as she arched her back in ecstasy, her hot, velvety sheath rippling and squeezing around him--

Ahem. Right. She'd asked him a question. Answer now-- business before pleasure, and all that rot. He could perv later.

“It is as we expected," he told her, "I am to be stationed on Gaia."

“And the Elder Chaos God?” Her hands were drifting lower, and Harry suppressed another shiver-- randy minx! How was he supposed to put business before pleasure when she was teasing him so?

“We… when the time comes, we are to aid in his defeat,” he replied, before changing the subject and leaving the true meaning of his words unvoiced-- not hard, considering what she was obviously more interested in, if only just slightly, “Now, shall we retire back to our bed, milady?”

His breath hitched as Luna’s cool hands found their goal and began stroking. Despite the activities of the past several hours, he quickly found himself erect and hard enough to drive nails into hardwood.

"You know, it's a full moon out tonight," Luna said in a breathy, sultry whisper, "let's enjoy it."

She nipped at his earlobe, and he took that as his signal-- business was over, time for pleasure. With a lustful growl he stepped out of her embrace and pulled her in front of him, taking a moment to admire her beauty: her alabaster skin glowed in the moonlight, giving her an ethereal air, and she was willowy, with high, perky breasts topped with pink nipples, small hips, and shapely legs. Her long, pale-blond hair-- almost silver in the light of the moon-- big silvery-blue eyes, and cute button nose had many describing her as "fae-like," but Harry knew better; her... Cutie Mark-- a sword of silver flames, wrapped in a pair of white wings and topped with a halo-- as well as the silver-white wings tattooed on her back, marked her as something far greater than the fairies: she was, literally, angelic, one who was descended of the Celestials.

He closed in and gave her a kiss infused with all of the love, lust, and passion he felt for her, leaving her breathless and panting when he released her lips. Kisses and nips traced a trail of fire down her neck and to the hollow of her throat, teasing out mewls and sighs of pleasure. Harry felt her dainty hands return south to tug at his pants, and one of his own reached up to cup and caress a pale breast, just short of a handful for him. His other hand had a similar idea as hers, and Luna shortly gasped and moaned as she felt familiar fingers stroke her most sacred of places.

Harry stopped nipping at a particularly sensitive spot long enough to whisper into her ear, "If that is your wish, my angel, than it is my command." He then pushed her up against the balcony's railing, and the two proceeded to make love beneath the moon's soft, ethereal glow, both letting the moment temporarily push away the knowledge of their newest-- and perhaps final, due to the risks involved-- mission:

For his crimes against Gaia, and the threat he poses to Creation...

...Discord, the Elder God of Chaos and Disharmony, must die.

Author's Note

A/N: A peek into Discord’s mind. Let’s see if you can guess who Discord used to be. :-)

Also: before anyone gets on my case about it-- I'm Chinese. What's more, I'm full-blooded Chinese. So obviously, I'm not hating on the Chinese in this chapter. Discord just has had very unfortunate prior dealings with them. So, seriously, take it as it is: a clue to who Discord was.

Also-Also: ...And now you know why I changed the rating to Mature. A H-scene, for all you pervs out there. >;-P