Chapters Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Chapter 1: Atop the Everfree Forest
Chapter 1: Atop the Everfree Forest
Atop the Everfree forest, a bright light shone in the night sky.
Inside her hut, Zecora was getting ready to take her rest. She just finished gathering a new batch of Heart's Desire from the forest after helping Fluttershy's pet rabbit Angel from being sick... those ponies...
She appreciates their visit, even if mostly all of their visits were about asking for help or advice - even with the baby dragon whose last encounter with her ended up teaching him a lesson about generosity.
The thought made her smile. She remembered when those ponies were afraid of her, a time where the ponies feared a person which they don't understand was fixed by a little filly named Applebloom... hmm... how is that little filly? It has been a while, maybe she should visit Ponyville later tomorrow and buy some supplies for her next likely potion of whatever those little ponies would get themselves into. She trotted to her bed and laid her weary hoofs to rest after a day's work.
Atop the Everfree forest, a bright light shone in the night sky.
It flashed once, twinkling in the sky and flashed again, shining. It reflected its light to the trees below and in a moment it seemed to explode, in the wake of which a red figure plummeted from the blast
"Whoa! WOAH! AHHH! AHHHHH!!!" Deadpool screamed helplessly as he fell from the sky and to the trees below, each branch hitting him all over on his face, his chest, and several times his groin. He fell to the ground with such gravity it didn't feel like the trees cushioned his fall, and his balls really hurt. Deadpool crawled to a fetal position and allowed his healing factor to kick in.
"Ugh... well, that was a broken entrance!... ow... I understand the comic relief but.. ah.. I never thought writers could be this much of a dick... hah... get it?.. because of the... ah..."
{{Stop it. You're playing for attention again, that's not what we're here for.}} the voice was very commanding and asking for attention, like Dr. Doom before he starts a monologue and reveal his next evil plan to the Fantastic Four.
"Ugh... I know..." Deadpool tried to sit up from his fall "I just... I don't know.. feel out of character lately... not because of you mind you... it's just that... I don't know"
{{Like I said, you don't need to play for show anymore that's what they want you to do. They want you to give a shit when there's no point in really giving a shit}}
Deadpool tried to stand up and noticed his left leg was twisted, he grabbed hold of it and began twisting it back to normal.
{{You're playing their game. You don't need to do that anymore because you have me now. And you've always looked for me and you know that. A reason to live in a world without reason}}
Deadpool finally untwisted his leg and stood up to look at his surroundings..
One word. Trees. And plants. Weird plants... okay maybe more like 5 words but you get the idea. And it's dark here, technically there's so many trees around here there's not enough light to go around to tell if it's day outside or night, which could be a metaphor for the bleakness of life or something like that... Deadpool didn't like being deep, despite doing that a lot lately
"What is this that my eyes see? Surely something hard to believe!" Zecora whispered to herself silently as she gaze upon the red creature.
The blast from the sky interrupted her sleep followed by the scream towards the forest as if somepony had somehow fell into the forest... a spectacle which prompted her to go to the direction of the disturbance, and here she stood, mouth ajar at this strange new creature. She has seen cockatrices and manticores, but nothing like this... thing before.
The creature seemed to be standing on its two hind legs, with its two front legs on its side. Its hoof seemed to have little... claws but smaller and a lot more numerous that what she normally see on animals. Its skin seemed to be scarred from every place and somehow resembles a zombie pony. This creature was clothed, and yet its clothes were red and ripped from every side like it was from a deadly battle, and as if this creature wasn't terrifying enough it had two swords strapped across its chest to its back. It had pockets lined up on its waist that she can't fathom the contents of, but striking of all this was wearing a mask unlike anything she had seen, it seemed to accent the eyes with roundish spots and was ripped to what she could assume used to be a full mask... it was confusing to look at, and looking closer it seemed to be... talking... but to who? who or what is this thing talking to?
"Strange trees, strange plants, yup. I bet I’m either in a children's fantasy show or Australia. Am I here to kill the smurfs? Do they count as inspiring literature?"
That creature! It can speak common! Zecora was sure of it though she didn't really understood what it meant, she understood what it said, especially the kill part. Something tells her it’s wise to go back home.
Then in a perfectly clichéd moment since the birth of suspense literature, as she back away from the scene Zecora accidentally steps on a loose branch on the ground. The loud crunch of which alerted the creature to her presence.
"Well, look at this! Branches ARE always very loud in tense situations.... like... this..." his voice softened when Deadpool got a good look at the noise-maker. It seemed to look like a... Zebra, so Australia it is then, he's definitely in Australia he's sure. Deadpool's no zoologist or whatever but he's pretty sure Zebra's don't wear jewelry. This one had several rings on its neck and one of its hooves and large earrings, a fashion statement a backwards tribe could be proud of, is this thing going to worship him as a god or something? That's what outcast tribes do, right?
"...H-Hello.. strange creature of this night. May I ask if you are alright?" the little zebra broke the silence, well this is convenient a voodoo that can actually speak English -- wait a minute. Did that Zebra just TALKED?
"... a -- ARE YOU TALKING TO ME?" Deadpool blinked, thinking he might have hit his head on a branch too many, he swears he will never try a single strange mushroom growing in a strange forest that looks like the studio for Avatar.
The zebra didn't feel very calm either, unsure of why she had inquired about the creatures’ safety and whether she should run away now or not. Hiding her nervousness she responded to the creature "Why yes strange creature, said by this lone seeker. Please tell me without fright, what brings you here this time of the night?"
{{This is very interesting.}}
Deadpool was not expecting this, sure he didn't exactly expect he would end up killing Moby Dick or Don Quixote or The Ghost of Christmas Past either, but THIS? Talking Zebra? he's still in the fictional world alright and his work is definitely not done, but here? in a place where zebras talk and who knows what else, what is he going to do here? Why did he end up here anyway? Why was he asking all this questions? He sure could use the help of an ominous voice right now.
The creature just stood there staring at her, how she wished she knew what the creature was thinking at that moment and with the air not getting any less tense she again proceeded to back away slowly.
"That thing is going away... what do I do?" Deadpool thought to himself waiting for his friendly evil voice inside his head to say something
{{I don't think we've met that thing by accident. Kill it}}
Of course, the first thing you do when you see a talking zebra is to kill it. Everyone who plays video games know that. He never really got the habit of killing animals, unless you count Harold the Duck.
As the creature drew its weapons from its back, she knew she had to run. As soon as the light reflect from the blade, Zecora trotted to the opposite direction - certain that this thing is eager for her demise.
{{AFTER IT!!}} the voice was more demanding than before, like a step dad threatening his wife's kid to go to sleep before an eventual disciplining.
"Damn that thing is fast! Maybe I should have been more subtle, like drawing my gun instead" He ran trying to catch up to the fleeing zebra which he is totally not going to kill and will just ask for directions instead "Hey! Stop!"
Running as fast as she could, Zecora is lucky she knows this part of the woods really well and knows which path to take to her hut. She particularly loved living in this part of the Everfree forest but after today she thinks she would live near Fluttershy at least should she escape this animal. She wanted to scream for help but she knew nopony would be near enough to hear her, she would need all the energy she could get to run away from this monster, but the only sanctuary she had was her hut... maybe she has an invisibility potion she could use and run straight to --
There was a loud noise from behind her, like a surge from a fireball spell she saw once cast by Twilight Sparkle but this was shorter and louder... and she felt a sting on her left haunch.. a strong and VERY PAINFUL sting!
"AAAHHHHH!! AHHH!!" Zecora screamed as she lost her balance and fall to the dirt, she can feel the inside of her haunch searing with heat. She doesn't remember fireball spells working like this, she have never felt pain like this before.
BULLSEYE! well not really, Deadpool just fired a warning shot... that happens to be in the direction of the zebra - pure coincidence. Still, that was a sweet shot -- accident, seeing as the zebra is at most probably seven meters away from him. It didn't have to come to this, all Deadpool really wanted was a neighborly heart to heart talk... preferably with the thing's ripped from its chest.
The pain was very hard to brush off, but she had to stand up and run away from this monster. If she was just able to go back inside her hut right now, she could warn Ponyville about this monster, if only she had stayed inside this night...
Why did this had to happen? What business does this monster have with her?
"Good little zebra! heh... I guess you really can teach other animals a few tricks"
Zecora faced her pursuer standing right behind her. Because of the pain she did not hear the creature walk up to her, paleness and cold overtook her at that instant...
"Please... let me live..." she tried to hold back her tears but to no avail "Spare me and I will leave" Zecora begged her attacker. She didn't know why this had to happen, maybe she's in a nightmare - yes! All she wants to happen is to wake up from this nightmare, please let this be a nightmare!
"How cute. Even in the brink of death you still speak in rhymes"
{{Enough already, just get this over with}}
Deadpool reached for the handles of his swords pulling them out from their sheaths. He likes the sound they make - Shhhiiiiingg! He doesn't really know how that's spelled really, but they sound cool nonetheless. He likes to think of himself as a ninja sometimes. One day he will defeat the evil Daniel-san and prove himself the true Dragon Warrior of the Fire Nation.
"Now play dead."
Atop the Everfree forest a bright light shone in the night sky.
The light reflected from the blade as it digs itself to the side of the injured zebra. Deep inside the forest, a scream echoed through the forest, gaining attention from its woodland inhabitants. Birds flew away in terror, bunnies hid for shelter, a bear faced to its direction. It was a cry for help, a scream of pain, and a howl of sadness all at once. Every creature hid to safety, but they knew by pure instinct what the source of the cry was. They knew it was her. They knew it was Zecora.
A swift swing from his left for dramatic effect. As the zebra's head escape its body and rolls on the ground, Deadpool remembered when he first killed Wolverine on one-on-one. This was a clean cut, blood was dripping endlessly from the neck like a faucet while the rings around the neck dangle away to the ground. Taking a glance at the severed head he watched as it slowly close an eyelid halfway. Was that thing winking at him?... maybe no...
"Damn it I can't think of any good head jokes..." Deadpool stood up, looking at his handiwork. He was really disappointed he couldn't end this with a good joke "...hmm.. hey! 'Well, you can look forward to get ahead in life!'... ah no, that won't cut it... how anti-climactic"
Staring at the dead animal for a few moments, Deadpool finally broke the silence "... so that was fun and all... but what now? and why?"
{{This place is different from wherever we have been ever since}}
"Tell me about it, but I think we kind of established that already. I don't remember any inspiring work of fiction that involves zebras... what am I on, a Disney Movie? Am I killing the Disney universe now?"
{{I don't think so. I can tell this plane of existence is... somehow parallel to us in time... like the founding ideas this reality is built on is similar to our own}}
"... uh huh, yeah - HEY! I just noticed our cuss words aren't censored! AAASSSSDICK, FUCK-ING son of a BITCH! ho ho! the freedom! Well, I can say we aren't in a Disney movie since I can say FUCK whenever I want"
{{Regardless, I can feel this place is more... well, that there's more 'corporate hype' around here than our own adjacent universes}}
"You mean whatever this is, it's more popular than us? Well we can't have that now, can we?"
{{Yes. and you know what that means}} the tone of the voice suddenly sounds more ominous than ever, but Deadpool knows why
"It means this place needs our help"
{{More than anything we've helped so far}}
"Oh yeah, let's play the good Murderer-Samaritan now"
Shooting one look at his kill, he walked away with contentment that he gets to redeem yet another universe. A sigh of relief, he relish the thought to be able to help another franchise to stop their endless loop of corporate slavery. As the body of the slain zebra continue to litter the ground with its blood Deadpool wonders if he would ever stop. Will he keep murdering every single cartoon or movie out there?
When he started this 'Killing everyone to free them from corporate slavery' thing, it felt like a noble mission to him. The kind that he knew was meant for nobody else but a psychopath like him. After a while in this business, he's actually beginning to enjoy it...
Atop the Everfree Forest a bright light shone in the night sky.
Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Chapter 2: My Little Angel
Chapter 2: My Little Angel
"WEEEEEE!!!! Oh my gosh, this is so great!"
It's the ultimate paradise of all paradises there could be of all paradises, and every time she jumps the view just gets better! Everything around her was candy and sweets! Candy canes towering like trees covered with huge mosses of cotton candy with chocolate balls hanging around like fruits from every corner, cupcakes the size of bushes from every side, wrapped candies everywhere on the ground, she is literally in a forest of desserts!
Her eyes sparkling and her drool... uh.. drooling, Pinkie Pie is at loss for words, too stunned from the beauty of the place to actually begin her immediate desire to 'food taste'. Her inner desires gradually becoming harder to contain, she leaps to a shrubbery of blue moss nearby, taking a not-so-generous bite, she instantly recognize the taste - Blueberry! prepared ripe from its season, the taste was heavenly. The moss sweetly melting in her mouth her palate begs for more, she took a bite on the candy cane tree beside her savoring the sweet sensation that tingles in her mouth the pleasure hypnotizing her as she takes two quick and large bites at the base, toppling the towering dessert to the floor.
Her insides screaming with delight and begging for more, she happily nibbles at the mass of cotton candy and gulps a few chocolate balls. She doesn't remember the last time she pleasured herself like this, she felt like exploding, but she felt like eating too so she picked the more attractive option. Not being able to stop and not wanting to, she then almost instantly appeared next to a large cupcake. Grinning at the sight, Pinkie Pie leaped mouth first to its top and helped herself digging inside the cupcake only by biting away like a cute little animal.
Everything taste as good as they look! glancing at the ground, the insanely happy pink pony wondered at its appearance as if the ground was made of... CAKE! swiftly leaping from the empty cupcake wrapper she scooped up the ground with her begging tongue. She was right! She likens the taste to the Marzipan-Meringue-Madness -- MMM!!!
"MMMMM!!!! Everything is sooo great! ha ha ha!!" Pinkie giggled as she just surrender her consciousness to pure happiness. She was so happy at this moment, she subconsciously doesn't want to even think of this as a dream.
But suddenly she felt a cold shiver all over. It sprang from her hooves and made its way up to her back, her rear hooves involuntarily whip to her rear twice, her head felt very light and her vision dimmed...
"AHHH!!" Pinkie screamed to nopony, the shock made her sit up in her bed, looking around her room inside Sugar-cube Corner she notice Gummy her pet crocodile is still soundly asleep in his little basket
"Huh... what was that all about?" looking at her bed, she noticed her covers at the floor like she kicked them out of the bed...
"... did.. did I had a pinkie sense?"
He had to warn Fluttershy... he had to.
Fleeing from the forest, a little white rabbit was hopping as fast as he could to Fluttershy's cottage. He didn't want her to know but after being cured by Zecora he wanted more of the strange plant he ate because they taste so good, a lot better than Fluttershy's carrot salad... yes, it's that simple - he's a little bunny don't expect so much. He would have none of Fluttershy's warning about how it made Applebloom sick, bunnies don't have cutie marks, and he's feeling a bit sick again anyway from not being able to eat the plant again... apparently, despite Zecora guaranteeing Fluttershy that Angel will be alright from now on. For some reason he couldn't find any of them outside Ponyville so he decided to pay Zecora a... a little visit... but he sure didn't expect he would be leaving halfway on the way there
He saw it... that.. thing.. he saw it kill Zecora... he was hiding in a bush when he swore he heard Zecora begging somepony... following the voice he saw... it... drew a blade at Zecora's side. His little eyes magnified as he saw the horror being done on the zebra. As the creature slice away Zecora's... he couldn't take it anymore, he just fled that instant, he doesn't want to even think of it anymore
Living with Fluttershy for years, he's seen other animals die but usually of natural causes. It's never been easy for him and Fluttershy, but it was a part of life, they knew both of them would go out soon and Angel knew he would most likely go first... but this?... Zecora didn't die of natural causes... she was killed by an animal he has never seen before and all he wanted to do right now is to tell Fluttershy about it.
Hopping as fast as he could, he finally reached the cottage. Every animal in their pens are asleep which is to be expected, he did after all sneaked out of his basket inside the cottage. Approaching the door he leaped to the open window beside it - the same way he sneaked out - they've always felt safe near Ponyville, nopony they know has ever been robbed, but after today he swears he's going to tell Fluttershy to lock everything.
Silently leaping upstairs, he finally reaches Fluttershy silently asleep lying on her bed with the covers around her. She always looked peaceful when asleep, her long pink mane and tail carelessly covering her pillow and bed. The air was cool around the cottage, flowing through her yellow coat she always needed her covers to keep her warm. Angel didn't want to disturb her peaceful sleep, but he had to
Hopping on her belly, Angel quickly tapped his left foot repeatedly on her to wake her up. Fluttershy is not hard to wake up, but Angel practically panicked wanting her to wake up as soon as possible.
She exhales a tired whimper, feeling very light headed Fluttershy slowly opened her eyes to the sight of her Angel tapping furiously on her. Angel looked very scared and exhausted, he was breathing heavily and his eyes were sunken as if he saw a ghost
"... Angel honey?... What's the matter? is everything alright?"
"GOD DAMN IT! FUCK FUCK FUCK!"
Deadpool has been walking around the forest for 5 minutes, he thinks maybe he really should have asked that talking zebra for directions first. With not enough light and the trees looking all the damn same, it hasn't been too long but what really ticked him off is stumbling onto the zebra he killed earlier several times already, 3 times so far.
"I swear, the trees around me are practically cloned. Like whoever designed this forest is pretty fucking lazy, GOD DAMN IT, THERE'S THAT ZEBRA AGAIN"
Walking non-stop Deadpool stumbled onto the corpse of his earlier kill again. It still looked fresh although it’s no longer leaking out blood like some giant Lady-Godzilla on her period, the puddle of blood around it soaked the zebra's coat as much as it did the ground... he wonders why it's called 'clean cuts' when it ends up like this. He turned his attention to the severed head two feet away from the... gruesome accident.
"Are you trying to haunt my dreams or something? I'll have you know the position for the evil-vengeful-voice-inside-a-psychopathic-yet-awesome-and-super-sexy-mercenary-named-Wade-Wilson's-head... ... has already been taken, but come again after three months and I might consider your application" Deadpool reasoned with his hands on his waist to the detached zebra head, one eye open and on eye half-closed it didn't so much as give a nod or bow its head in acceptance... that's just really bad ass. He'll have to think of it once there's an opening for the position of haunting-image-that-appears-in-Deadpool's-nightmares
"I really need to stop talking to corpses, they might answer back" with a huff Deadpool squatted near body, observing the stripes layered on it. They weren't like the zebra's he sees on National Geographic when he sometimes gloss over the channels on the TV, slouching at his couch at his apartment... come to think of it he doesn't remember zebras having a spiral... mark or something on their thighs.
Looking back at the detached head, Deadpool picked it up with one hand by the base facing him with its lifeless eyes. Now that he thinks of it, this sure is a special looking zebra. It was sporting a Mohawk, and with the earrings still dangling on the ears it kinda looks like a generic rock star. Looking back on before, this thing was running to somewhere...
"Where were you running off to, huh?"
There was no response, sure that's okay... with its head being detached and all. Deadpool was decapitated a lot of times in his lifetime, he understands... what a jerk.
He let go of the visage, looking at it topple over its body and then on the ground. This was getting boring. With no lead and no entertaining conversations going on he sure hoped he'd just get out of this forest right now. His only comfort right now is to exploit the lack of censorship and shamelessly curse once in a while.
Crap. He can't believe he's lost. FUCK. FUCKING ASS FUCKING ZEBRA FUCKING --
In the distance he can see a very dim light. It's almost invisible, had he not stared into nothing while gathering his thoughts he wouldn't have noticed it. He stood up, walking to its direction. The path to the light was covered by trees and shrubbery but it's still noticeable, only barely. Approaching the source while pushing aside the damn plants out of the way, the light slowly becomes more vivid with every step, pushing aside one stray branch out of the way he finally reached it.
"This... just defines Tree house right here"
It's not even a Tree house... more like a... Tree inside a house, not a house on a tree so uh... Tree house then. It had a huge wooden door with two open windows giving off the light he saw earlier, there were a bunch of lanterns hanging on the branches of the tree, there's even a voodoo mask or whatever it’s called placed on the side, very... welcoming of whoever lives here
Unsheathing his right sword with his right hand in case of self-defense, he approaches the door, pushing it open inside with his other hand. Entering the house he sees nobody is home and sadly whimpers to himself like a puppy expecting a treat but not getting any from his asshole selfish owner.
There was a single round table in the center probably intended for tea parties, a cauldron at the corner which is obviously for voodoo curse stuffs, several cabinets around the corners stocked with potions to replenish their mana of course, several voodoo masks hanging from the ceiling for... actually he doesn't know what they're for, and lastly a single unimpressive looking single-bed at the farthest corner beside a window. And there's a map hanging on the wall in front of it... wait, MAP?
Deadpool took the map plastered on the wall, it looked very old and torn but it doesn't look like it's missing anything. On the header of the map, there was a single world: Equestria
{{Finally}}
"Hey! You're still here! I missed you"
Fluttershy was taken aback by everything Angel said, she's too shocked she's frozen at that very spot.
Zecora killed? by a strange creature? oh my... oh my oh my oh my... this is not good. Zecora has lived in the Everfree Forest for so long Fluttershy never thought Zecora would be in any danger there, it seems the Everfree Forest IS more dangerous than she really thought before...But what does she do?
She was too out of focus to notice Angel sulking at a corner near the bed. The bunny too was frantic and doesn't know what to do, he doesn't want to think of what happened in the forest... it's too much for a bunny like him to take
"A-Angel... we have to warn everypony..."
Angel turned to his beloved owner, he has never seen her this shocked before, her face stiffening and her eyes wavering he knew she was about to cry and she did
Quiet sobs accents the flowing tears from her eyes, she always has been a very quiet pony. Whether she's shouting in anger or laughing out loud, she always has been barely audible about it. But somehow looking at her cry now, Angel has never seen anypony look any more broken
She couldn't stand it, she wanted to mourn right there and then, Zecora has always been good to everypony especially when her animals needed help, on several occasions Zecora helped her rooster, her hens, her squirrels, her birds, and even Angel bunny. She always felt bad about being scared of her when she didn't understand Zecora yet like everypony did. She always wanted to apologize to her but was always too embarrassed of herself to do it... now she'll never be able to no matter how much she wants to
Angel just watched her cry, she's been crying for a while now mourning for Zecora. She didn't even bother to cover her face with her hooves, he just slumped there staring at his beloved owner release her soft whimpers and overflowing tears, a midst all this in the back of his mind Angel feels... unsafe... he can't explain it but he feels that they should leave now and ask for help, he wants to drag Fluttershy outside now but he doesn't want to disturb her in her sorry condition
There were several knocks on the door downstairs.
Fluttershy raised her head as soon as she heard the knock, who could it be this time of the night? Angel faced downstairs, puzzled as Fluttershy is
"Hello?... Hellllooo?.... Hey I know it's kind of late but would you happen to have time and would like to learn about the church of Galactus and latter-day Silver apprentices?"
".... what?..." Fluttershy doesn't understand what the voice meant, but why would somepony visit her this late?
Angel was sure he heard that voice before, he's sure.
"I said..." the voice was accompanied by the sound of the door being kicked open, Fluttershy and Angel jumped at the noise
"DO YOU HA-- oh" After kicking door open, Deadpool noticed that the top half of the door is still closed "Nice... two doors in one huh?" Deadpool pushed open the top half of the door, entering with swords in both hands "HAVE YOU FOUND SILVER SURFER?!"
The intruder woke up the birds and squirrels sleeping soundly at the floor below, followed a barrage of bird and squirrel cries all over the cottage. Fluttershy was frozen in shock, somepony was breaking into her house while talking about something she doesn't understand, she scanned her room looking for a place to hide.
Angel knew this was the creature that killed Zecora and he knew what to do, he leaped out to the open window in front of Fluttershy's bed.
"Angel!" Fluttershy silently screamed as she watch her bunny leap in escape... the window... she could fly away right now, but with all the shock she suffered today she feels too weak to even lift her wing... oh my... she can't stop shaking in terror from the sound her birds and the squirrels are making downstairs.
Deadpool scoured the room, what the?... This house is a goddamn compact zoo. There are bird houses everywhere inside of which are birds of different colors and because of all the chirping he feels like he's in an audition for the cast of the next Angry Birds game.
"HELLOO??? Any of you animals can speak? give me a head's up if you can so I know which to kill... haha! head's up... I crack me up..."
Deadpool got here in this cottage hoping for another lead, the map he had from the Tree House before had labels all over a specific area, specifically below the center and below Canterlot, the part of the map on Ponyville had many labels like 'Sugar-cube corner, Golden Oak Library, Ponyville Elementary School, whatever' but the nearest of them all was labeled 'Fluttershy's Cottage'. How convenient that he would stumble upon a map this great! It practically spoon-fed him the way this cottage with several landmarks
But still... sheesh, really? a place called Ponyville? He better not be in a Zynga game, otherwise he might end up buying energy to kill talking animals for 0.99$! Staring at the clutter of animals doing nothing but animal things in the room, our hero Deadpool decides that the animals here are too stupid to even talk, pfft... stupid animals, looking at his right there's a staircase leading to the floor above
"Heellllooooo? Anyone up there? I'm a representative from PETA and I’m here to relieve you of all your neglected animals. Oh, and your life"
"Keep quiet Fluttershy, and whoever that pony is, they'll never notice you here" Fluttershy whispered to herself while trembling under her bed, she looked around and decided that the nearest place to hide without making any noise is under her bed, yes she felt very safe here, nopony would ever suspect her here. Please nopony laugh at her now
Heavy footsteps ascending to her room getting louder, Fluttershy tried her best to be silent. She tried to stop trembling as much as she could, she covered her mouth with her hooves so nopony can hear her breath. Her uneasiness gradually increasing with every step she hear... those.. those doesn't sound like hoof steps... as if the pony isn't walking on all of its four hooves. With the sound of her room door opening, she closed her eyes hoping that she won't be seen
This room was more tolerable and showed signs of intelligent life, there are no bird houses or squirrel holes that surround the vicinity, there is a normal cabinet, a normal looking window and a normal looking bed that happens to have a... pink pony tail lying on the floor right beside the bed in full view as if there's something hiding under it.
Deadpool has lost all hope of finding intelligent life in this house and approached the bed, placing his foot on the side he pushed it away with his right leg as it slide away to the side to reveal a trembling yellow pony with pink main and tail...
"Well, this is really convenient" he said with the tone that an elementary school teacher always reserve for when the stupidest student of the class is raising his hand to answer their spoken question
He waited for a moment for the pony to react, its eyes were closed and it was covering its face with its hooves while trembling a lot. He waited for another few seconds... "Uh.. HELLO?"
The little pony couldn't hear him, it's either too busy trembling or pretending to be dead... huh... playing dead huh? Good pony -- but too soon!
"Ah, fuck it" Deadpool raised his right sword as he towers over the oblivious pony. This feels very Friday the 13th, except instead of horny teenagers he's dealing with this shit.
The room was instantly greeted by an angry mob of birds entering from the open window of the room. It was so fast, there wasn't even enough time to hear the birds angrily approach the room, suddenly without even so much a blink of an eye Deadpool was suddenly surrounded by birds everywhere around his person
"HUH?! WHAT THE FU-- AAH!! AHH!!" he wasn't even able to finish his sentence as the birds angrily peck at him all over.
The birds bit the monster at every surface they can get their beaks on, they bit at his fingers, his arms, his thighs, his neck, the gap between his legs, everything. "HEY! AAGH! I'M GETTING TIRED -- AAH! -- OF THE DICK JO -- OOH! -- JOKES HERE!" the creature unintelligibly screamed as he tries to shoo all the birds around him but to no avail. At this point, Fluttershy finally looked up and saw the mob of her avian friends surround the screaming monster. She's no doubt surprised of all that's happening right now, but something about the intruder seems... off... to her "... that... that's not a pony.."
Suddenly a roar entered the scene from the open door of her room, standing on it was a large brown bear standing on its hind legs with a scowl on its face - it's one of her animal friends - Mr. Brown Bear! what is he going to do?
The bear lunged itself toward the screaming intruder, dragging it across the room then sending themselves outside the cottage punching through a wall on the room. Landing on the hen house the bear recovered almost instantly and pawed away at the creature threatening his pony friend. The birds interrupted from defending Fluttershy exited the room through the hole made by the bear and continued to attack the creature below
Fluttershy was in shock again - what is going on?! there are so many things happening all of a sudden! She approached the large hole in her room, looking over she checked over her animals below
It was... AMAZING! all of a sudden, all of her animals are suddenly attacking the creature that was going to hurt her. She never thought her animals are capable of doing this... looking below she saw even her hens and rooster are joining in the fight pecking on places the birds aren't, the squirrels biting at everywhere else the other animals aren't attacking, the creature is barely even visible now! oh my, why is this happening?
"THAT'S IT! NO MORE MISTER NICE MURDERER!" Deadpool finally had it, with a swift move he laid his two swords across his chest and hacked a crisscross cut across the torso of the bear on top of him, the bear responded with a deafening roar of pain. In the exchange Deadpool quickly reared his swords and pointed it at the creature, lifting up the blade he gutted the beast all the way through extending through its back. The roaring creature tried to stand up to back away from the pain, Deadpool pushed the impaled bear forward with the hilt of his two swords sending the heavy creature lying on its back, tightening his grip on the hilts he withdrew the swords from the beast, the bear roaring in pain in response
"COME ON! COME HERE, YOU FILTHY PIECE OF SHITS!!" he swings the two blades around in, hacking several birds around him as he taunt the animals interrupting his kill. He kicked away a furious rooster and a few squirrels nibbling at his legs as he slice away several more birds around him, he can feel the birds losing a wing or being cut in half from his swift swings of his blade - the velocity of his swings guaranteeing seamless slices
"NO!!" Fluttershy screamed to the top of her lungs as she saw the horror happening below, this was a very loud scream, something she's not mostly capable of doing, but seeing her animal friends being... slaughtered.. she just couldn't contain herself anymore... heavy streams of tears flowed from her eyes as she continue to scream in despair "NO!! NO! NONONONO!!"
It wasn't very characteristic of her to be screaming like this, she wanted to stop all of this and help her friends but she doesn't know what to do, she just watched as the monster hack away her birds.. stomp on her squirrels... she wailed between screams "..NOOO!!.." she broke down on the spot as her hooves lose their strength, she wailed and sobbed as she saw it bite off one of her squirrel's tail off in anger... how could anypony be capable of this?!
A midst the horror, Fluttershy can feel a tug from her side, facing to its direction with tears still rushing from her face Angel was motioning her to go, trying to ignore the loud wailing of dying animals below. Angel was begging her for them to leave, to warn everypony of this monster. She didn't want to leave her animals, she lost Zecora, and now she's losing her animals, she can't let this happen
Angel began to cry, telling her to leave now. Fluttershy always understood what Angel meant, with either simple scowls or a raised eyebrow, she always knew what Angel wants her to understand... now, she knew Angel was telling her that the animals sacrificed themselves to save her, the animals loved her so much that they would gladly die for a chance to save her
"HHHHRUUUUUAAAAA!!!!!--" A loud roar was silenced by a swift blade to the throat of the bear. "YOUUU DOON'T MESS WITH MEE!!!" Deadpool screamed at the gagging beast, retreating his blade and swinging them together towards its neck, beheading the furred beast.
"RRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" Deadpool cursed to the air, blasting all his anger to the night sky. He stood there breathing heavily surrounded by the carcasses of birds, squirrels, chickens, and butterflies he didn't notice before. Some wounded animals are still alive, crying for help but he doesn't care... that's what you get when you mess with him...
Facing the cottage he looks over to the large open hole made by the bear pushing him outside earlier, standing inside it was a little yellow pony, staring at him with fright and tears vividly reflected from the night sky, he continues breathing heavily looking back at the pony with menacing eyes
She needed to run now, as soon as she was finished communicating with Angel she immediately heard the creature scream with such terror it rooted her to the spot. The menacing stare paralyzing her from the waist down, it was Angel tugging her at that point that set her back to reality. She quickly grabbed Angel and went downstairs running away from there as soon as possible
Deadpool's anger quickly rose again seeing the little pony trying to escape him "COME BACK HEEERE!!!" He ran towards the cottage like a monster eager to kill a helpless animal
She can't fly! She tries to lift her wings but she can't! Everything is too much for her, Zecora dead, her friends dead, now she's about to be killed by the same monster that killed them! Not suppressing any tears, she trotted towards Ponyville to warn everypony of this monster trying not to lose Angel on her back
"COME BACK HEERE!!!!!" his roar was menacing, he's chasing after the pony with intense speed. Somehow his anger is working on his body making him faster and more deadly than before... he feels it again... he feels like himself again when he first started his mission. He did became weak, he knows that now... now he won't let it happen again.
{{Glad to see you finally understand}}
You're right. You've always been right. I should've listened to you.
She's running as fast as she could, but she can hear the monster's hoof steps closer and closer! NO! PLEASE! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER! PLEASE! she doesn't want this to happen, please somepony save her now!
Suddenly she can feel angel hugging her from behind... she can feel his tears drop on her coat as the little bunny hug her closer "..Angel?..you.. you love me?"
At that instant the little white rabbit leaped towards the creature, he landed on its face blinding and biting it at the same time as tears flow from its eyes
"WHAT THE--?!" Deadpool, suddenly blinded and being bit tried to grab hold of the little rabbit on his face, it then kicked his right eye in its socket "AH!" he loses his balance on the confusion and trips on his side, being assaulted with yet another animal
"ANGEL!" Fluttershy didn't stop running as she face the creature, she wanted to stop and grab Angel right there and then but her hooves won't let her. With the distance increasing from her and Angel she watched hopelessly as he fight the creature "Angel...."
Angel I love you too... I love you too Angel...
Scurrying on the creature's head he fought for his life, he's not going to let this thing harm Fluttershy! as he nibble and stomp on the creature's face he felt a strong grip on his tiny body pulling him away from the monster. It stared at him with an angry scowl, he scowled back at that rotting face covered in animal bites and blood. He was not going to show this monster he's scared of it, he was not letting this monster harm Fluttershy!
"...You... little... shit.. This is all YOUR fault isn't it?"
The little bunny only growled at him, he won't let this thing scare him... he won't
"It's your fault, I know it.... he told me it was your fault..."
the creature leaned closer to him, he can feel its breath flowing and escaping through his fur
"Hey little rabbit... I want to play a game.."
He felt the grip tighten on his little body, air escaping from his tiny lungs he tried to bite of the claw tightening on him. As he twitch around the grip another claw supported the grip and tightened him even more. It was extremely painful, this monster is squeezing him to death!
Deadpool's hands started to tremble as he crush the little rabbit to death, watching it choke and scream for help. This thing doesn't deserve a quick death, that's what the voice told him, this thing deserve to die slowly and painfully. He continued for what seemed like forever as he watch it simultaneously gasp for air and cry... he was having fun looking at it...
Finally he can feel the crack of little bones crushing inside the little creature, screaming as its skeleton pierce its vital organs and what's best is that the little shit is conscious of all this happening. Deadpool thought he should try torture once in a while as the little creature puke its innards and blood all over his hands, it's nice to look at. He watched as the little creature gag in its own waste and slowly cease to move, its eyes bloodshot finally go limp on his grip, he lets out a chuckle not unlike a little kid getting crazy with his toys
"Haha... well... I feel all better now"
Pinkie Pie tried to sleep but she couldn't. hmm, she wonders why as she exit Sugar-cube Corner through the front door. It was a beautiful night, nopony in Ponyville is outside which makes sense since everypony is asleep this time of the night. Ah yes, it really was a beautiful night, the sky really looked beautiful with the stars twinkling and the moon shining and the pony running. -- hey, a pony running? she's sure it's a bit late to start jogging. or too early.
The silhouette becomes larger as it appears to be running towards her. Hmm... that's weird, who is this pony? maybe she's having trouble sleeping this night too. As the pony come closer it seem to look like.. Fluttershy! Oh it's Fluttershy! She didn't know Fluttershy jogs late at night. or too early in the morning.
"Hey! Fluttershy! I didn't know you jog late at night! or.. too early in the morning!"
Fluttershy was surprised to see Pinkie awake at this time of night, she was running towards Golden Oak Library but she might as well warn Pinkie
"Fluttershy! HEY! Fluttershy! Flutt--" Pinkie stopped yelling out to Fluttershy as she notice her... crying... "Fluttershy, why are you crying?"
Fluttershy was in tears as she catch her breath from the chase, she tried to tell Pinkie Pie what happened "Pinkie...... Monster... ... Zecora..."
"Fluttershy, what's wrong?" Pinkie ask as she hug her and pat her back, now concerned about her friend "Don't worry, it's alright, tell me anything"
"Pinkie..." She tried to hold her tears as she tell the news "Zecora's dead"
Pinkie's eyes grew in shock at what she heard... oh no... Zecora's dead?... HOW?.. WHY?? she suddenly remembered her pinkie sense earlier and knew what it meant now
"And my animals..." Pinkie put her attention back to Fluttershy as she continue "... And... and Angel..."
"... My little Angel is dead, Pinkie..."
My little Angel
Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Chapter 3: Old Merc Deadpool
Chapter 3: Old Merc Deadpool
"So... what ah we gonna do tomorrow?"
"... I don't know. Any ideas, Scootaloo?"
"Nah... I got nothing..."
The soft voices whisked around the dark room echoing silently from a corner. Three little fillies, wide awake were lying still sharing a large bed brainstorming on what their next adventure would be
"Golly, we prob'ly done everything we could think of" the voice came from the yellow filly on the side of the bed. She slumped her head to her pillow, her red ponytail mane bounced to her side "... I reckon we may be outta options here girls"
"Let's not give up too easily Applebloom! We always figure out something every time we sleep over at your house" the higher pitched voice came from between the two. In the middle, the curly haired white filly held her left front hoof to her chin "hmm... how about snow sledding?"
"Sweetiebelle, we already did that last winter" the orange filly on the other side of the bed leaned to the window beside her in response, her rugged purple mane swept disappointingly "Remember before Winter Wrap-up? We almost ran over Applejack. And besides, it's not even winter now"
The three little fillies sighed in unison. Every day the trio always tried every different sport they can think of, hoping any of them will grant them their cutie marks... they never spent a day without trying a single idea. If they can't think of anything in the morning, they spend the night together at Sweet Apple Acres hoping to conjure an idea before sleeping. They always were able to think of something in the end every night... this maybe not one of those nights
Applebloom yawned, her eyelids lowering slowly by reflex "Ah'm pooped... maybe we just ought a sleep tonight girls.."
"Yeah... maybe we should... I’m sure we'll think of something in the morning.." Sweetiebelle lowered her hoof and her gaze, releasing her thoughts for tomorrow "Goodnight girls"
"G'night Sweetiebelle" Applebloom shut her eyes close and rested her shoulders on the soft mattress "G'night Scootaloo"
"Goodnight everyone" Scootaloo just stared outside the window, her body somewhat resist the need to tire itself out tonight. It's maybe because she's more worried than the other girls, apparently she doesn't like the fact that the Cutie Mark Crusaders weren't able to do anything today more than the other two... but she knows she needs her energy for tomorrow, if the girls are positive that they'll think of something tomorrow then she might as well be as optimistic as them.
She continued to gaze outside the window, halfheartedly observing the path to Ponyville. There are a lot of trees covering the view to Ponyville, she can't see it from here but the way to town was curved around the large forest - not too large but enough to make the path to the farm somewhat almost three kilometers long, a very very long way which is probably good considering the fact during season the line waiting for the Apple family's cider would reach Ponyville before even the princess would raise the sun.
She should fall asleep any moment now... she always feel drowsy when things are uncool... she should feel VERY tired now... any moment now
"... huh?" Scootaloo nudged Sweetiebelle beside her with her gaze fixed outside "Girls, girls... I can see something in the forest"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH!! -- OLD MERC DEADPOOL FOUGHT A FARM - EEYYA EEYYA YYOOOOO!!"
Deadpool was walking on the way to wherever the yellow pony ran to. He felt all better now, he knew all that Anger Management thing is all bullshit - the best way to release your anger is to express it! Jack Nicholson has nothing on him, he's even singing to the tune of some nursery rhyme - completely uncaring of the possibility he might wake up someone this time of the night
"AND ON THAT FARM HE DROPPED THE BARN - EEYYA EEYYA YYOOOO!!"
He dropped the little rabbit he killed on the ground a while back. Rabbit innards apparently isn't very disgusting - or the other animals' innards actually, even the bear. Sure they look as gruesome as you'd expect but they didn't stink as much as let's say his own apparently vital organs. It's true you are what you eat, hack open a vegan and a regular person and anyone will know what he means. Still, it is a bit annoying to be covered in animal guts and blood... but he guess if he's gonna be a mobile slaughter house, he might as well look the part.
"WITH A HACK HACK THERE, AND A SLASH SLASH THERE -- KILLED THEIR ASS -- SPREAD SOME BLOOD -- DIDN'T GAVE A FUCK, FUCK!"
In the distance, he finally saw Ponyville... his guess anyway. All he could see was the top of a few buildings, a few roofs looks like it was designed from a merry-go-round. They should erect a sign somewhere here, something like 'Ponyville - Population: Soon to be zero, Primary Export: Animal corpses, Joint property of Zynga and Facebook'
"OLD MERC DEADPOOL FOUGHT A FARM --"
[[EEYYA EEYYA YYOOOO!!! HAHA! that song is funny! I like it!]]
The voice of an unlucky excited little girl sprang from behind our lead singer. Disrespect his musical genius will she? Deadpool swiftly unsheathed his two swords, a new record time probably, and turned to his back to express his -- HOLY MOTHER OF HELL FREEZING OVER WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING?!
"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"
"Pinkie Pie! wait! don't go too fast!" a half sob and shout came from Fluttershy, catching up to Pinkie Pie five feet away from her
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie raced to Golden Oak Library as soon as she broke the news to her. She just can't take it anymore, with all the running for her life and the shock she had to endure tonight all she wants to do is rest. Pinkie Pie obviously has more energy than her tonight... then again she has more energy than anypony else all the time.
"Hurry Fluttershy! We can't waste any more time, we have to warn Twilight about this!" Pinkie turned to her friend, not stopping her trot to the library "We have to go as fast as we can! We're in a whoooole lot of trouble today!" her pink frizzy mane swept resisting the static current of the wind she's buzzing through.
"Pinkie!.." she inhaled a strong amount of wind "Do you know what's going on?" she tried to scream towards Pinkie between tired breaths. Pinkie didn't answer her question and just retreated her head from her direction. Something about Pinkie feels weird today, but she's too tired to think of it any further.
Finally they reached it! Golden Oak Library! Pinkie never felt this a huge situation than anything they had before, she'd just rush inside Twilight's room for all she cares right now but that probably wouldn't be very nice. She just had to resort to screaming and pounding on the door tonight.
"TWIIILIIIIIGHTT!!!! SPIIIKE!!! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" Pinkie was screaming louder than usual, but this isn't a happy-excited-giggling-over-the-top kind of scream - this was a scared-of-an-imminent-danger-more-scary-than-anything-they-faced-before scream! and what's even more terrifying is she never screamed like this before! "TWILIIIIIGHT!!!! WAKE UP!! EVERYPONYYYY!!! WAAAKE UP!!"
Fluttershy finally caught up with Pinkie Pie, but her body really can't take it anymore and just gave up right there. Her hooves lost their strength and her consciousness faded as she take a step towards the library. Her body finally got it's much needed rest.
"TWIIILIIGHT!!! EVERYPONY!!!"
"What?! what?! What's going on?!" The door opened to reveal a frantic sleep-deprived purple baby dragon shouting in response to the screams. His baggy eyes centered on the pink mare, looking even more stressed than he is "Pinkie Pie, what's wrong? What happened?!"
"SPIKE! We need to wake up Twilight! It's a very very big emergency!!" the pink mare entered the library while she darted her head to each direction, looking for the lavender mare who could help her fix all this
"I'm awake Pinkie, and probably the rest of Ponyville too - what's wrong?" a lavender alicorn mare descended from the stairs leading from her room upstairs. Her head raised with poise, her hoof steps descending with grace she doesn't even look tired from her interrupted sleep. She has only been a princess for a while and already she's getting the hang of royalty. Her voice resounded with concern and stature almost in total contrast to Pinkie. Twilight is a natural at being a princess..
The lavender newly-formed alicorn wasn't actually asleep but studying with a new batch of books from Canterlot's Royal Library. Even after being crowned a princess she has no intention to leave her friends and decided to stay in Ponyville, a decision Princess Celestia knew would be made. Hearing Pinkie Pie scream below, she turned over to see Spike instantly awake by the first barrage of noise. She didn't even told her assistant to go down stairs, all he did was turn to Twilight in response and rubbed his eyes and by the second scream he quickly ran downstairs. She went and followed him below, the sleepiness instantly making it's kick in her when she stopped reading.
"TWILIGHT, IT'S HORRIBLE! FLUTTERSHYTOLDMETHATANGELBUNNYTOLDHERTHATTHERE'SAMONSTERONTHELOOSEANDITKILLEDZECORAINTHEEVERFREEFORESTANDTHENITWENTTOFLUTTERSHY'SCOTTAGEANDTHENTRIEDTOKILLFLUTTERSHYTOOBUT--"
"--WAIT! STOP!" Twilight interrupted Pinkie before she could say anything else. Pinkie is talking too fast for her to understand most of what she's saying, but something she heard struck the mare even more so than Pinkie's unexpected visit
"Did you say something... killed Zecora?!"
Pinkie nodded her head. And that moment Twilight and Spike's face drained of their color, their jaws involuntarily lowered, and their eyed grew centered on the Pink earth pony, their appearance out-stressing hers.
"A monster killed Zecora and its heading straight to Ponyville, Twilight!"
A monster?... killed Zecora?
"And Fluttershy also said that the monster killed her animals too!"
A... monster...
"And also that the monster killed Angel bunny!"
A MONSTER KILLED ZECORA
Deadpool was staring at the most terrifying thing he's ever seen so far. Living with a zombie-human-hamburger-mug like his made him sure that there's nothing more pants-shitting than his own face, except maybe seeing him in the nude but this thing looked like as if all the messed up shit in his head pledged their allegiance to Satan and tried to manifest itself into one of the cutest thing you know to purposely fuck with your childhood
That cute little girl voice sure did squat to make this thing appear child-friendly! It looks like the love child of a threesome with Beelzebub, a girly pony horse, and the scary as fuck girl from The Ring, only this thing has the fuckiest eyes he's ever seen. It's actually less like eyes and more like empty sockets giving it a carcass feel but inside those sockets he swears is the spirit of all the nightmares deep within the recesses of everyone's consciousness. Deadpool is now sure he apparently still has a soul because he can almost feel that thing sucking it from his chest with its hollow eye-holes and possesses one of the most ironic name ever.
"...P-Pinkie Pie?.. You're n-name is fucking Pinkie Pie?"
[[That's right! but other people call me Pinkamena or Zalgo Pinkie. Any will do, I’m not particularly choosy with my name]]
Pinkie Pie? if somebody thought this thing is cute and decided to give it a name like that, he's afraid of whatever that someone thinks is terrifying! It kind of resembles the pony he chased before in shape, but this thing is bloody red all over its body with a darker hue of long straight mane - this actually looks like a demon or something and somebody thought to name this Pinkie Pie? What in the actual fuck?
[[I can help you. You see, you and I are VEERRRYY alike]]
"Forgive me for not thinking of myself as someone who feeds on people's nightmares, but help me? Really?"
{{It's true. I can feel her essence is not unlike mine}}
[[Eeeyup! Your guide is right, me and him are almost the same entity!]]
"Wait, hold on - you can hear him?"
{{Yes, she can hear me. She won't harm you, we both want the same thing... similarly at least}}
[[Allow me to explain everything --]]
Deadpool then lose his vision, like something blinded him and - oh wait, he can see again. That was fast. But he's not near Ponyville anymore but some... demon dimension or something. There's nothing here save for a school chalkboard placed in front of him with Pinkie Pie on the side wearing frame-less glasses and holding a stick pointing it to - wait a minute how can that thing hold a stick? it doesn't even have fingers it's just a regular pony hoof... anyway, Deadpool is apparently sitting on a school chair too small for comfort. There's nothing else to mention except that the floor is red all over the place and the scenery is nothing but some distorted red and black shapes.
[[You see Wade, this is the Universe... or the universe here where you are now anyway]] she's pointing to a white small dot on the center of the board
[[It aaall started with this special toy intended for little girls: My Little Pony!]]
She held down a retractable roll of paper attached at the top of the board, and it revealed a picture of a toy pony. Its design look very simple and yet detailed like it came from the 80's and beside it was a logo 'My Little Pony' it looked simple too, detailed with red at the edges and the letters themselves colored in pink
[[You see, demand for the toys wasn't very high - but the guys in business has faith in this franchise, so they made a TV show on par with the toys]]
The picture on the paper transformed into a girly drawing of several eighties era ponies, and the logo 'My Little Pony' plastered at the top
[[The show - surprisingly was a HUUUGE HIT. but more like a one-time millionaire because for some reason demand started to dwindle again.]]
The picture transitioned into several styles of old era ponies, all plastered with the logo 'My Little Pony'. Deadpool was getting bored and is beginning to lower his gaze on the figure
[[And it went on again and again and again and again, they even made a movie once when the love for the franchise was noticeable - but not high, and still extremely looooww.]]
The picture on the paper faded out, revealing nothing on the rolled paper. Deadpool suppressed a yawn, wow the classroom aura really took its place on him, he actually thought to himself he can't wait for recess
[[Several years passed and the higher ups practically gave up on the idea. They were through! The most they could hope for is to at least be able to sell the toys and bags and pencils and pencil cases and notebooks in their warehouse just so they can empty it... demand for My Little Pony dwindled and dwindled and dwindled...]] the demon mare's voice was lowering to the tone of disappointment [[The doomed universe would finally to be able to fade away... you see, when universes like ours lose attention from their progenitors, they begin to fade away. For a universe to completely disappear in existence, there has to be absolutely NO ONE to care for them!]]
"... must... stay... awake..."
The large rolled paper on the chalkboard rolled itself back to the top, again revealing the white dot on the center before. The sound managed to gain a part of Deadpool's diminishing attention span
[[Everything was going well! until SOMEPONY had to -- I mean, SOMEONE had to have a flash of genius!]] she then pointed to the white dot on the center of the chalkboard [[THIS - is the first My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic universe! It's the show you're into right now, here, in this show, is where you are, but not particularly the first universe but still!]]
"Teacher, may I go to the bathroom?"
[[... ... ... okay!]] the creepy mare gave a wide grin before a large sound of static entered Deadpool's ears when he felt the demon mare enter his subconscious...
"AAAAAAAHHHH!!!" the inconspicuous face of the demon pony invaded his vision, the vision of her accompanied with static overshadowed his entire consciousness. He felt lost in space as if he's floating in his own world, her non-existent eyes impale themselves on his apparently legit soul. It was a few seconds of this terror but it's apparently enough to make him urinate all over himself. His heart was beating furiously as he look below himself in shame
"DON'T DO THAT! YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK!... n-not t-that I can't g-grow another one if it e-explodes!"
The blood-red pony just giggled in response [[Silly Wade! This lesson is important right now and will be crucial to your development as a person - no, really! but do tell me if the need to go wee-wee or poo-poo comes up. Do you still feel the need to go to the bathroom?]]
"NO! n-no, i-i feel all fine now, thank you for a-asking ma’am." he faced back to her direction with his attention skyrocketed all the way up on the topic at hand, eager to not get another experience like that.
[[Good. Now this -]] she pointed her stick again to the white dot [[- is the first universe of this show. sustained by only a few episodes, which is expected but there came an unnecessary massive amount of information explosion around the end of the first season of this show -]] the white dot on the center immediately sprang several short lines from all directions, the ends of which sprouted white dots identical with the one on the center
[[- the demand, the interest, the hope, the love gradually grew in size! being more popular than any of its predecessor universes, thus creating additional universes!]] the dots on the chalkboard continued to extend lines and sprout white dots all expanding from the center [[People began to take genuine interest, not just little girls - grown men and women adore the franchise and with it made their own stories]] the board just continue to fill with white chalk, not stopping even for a moment
[[With every episode, the multi-verse just kept expanding. With every convention, the multi-verse just kept expanding. With every fan animation, the multi-verse kept expanding! With every comic, the multi-verse kept expanding! With every fan fiction the multi-verse kept expanding! The multi-verse kept expanding! The multi-verse kept expanding! The multi-verse! The multi-verse! The multi-verse! Expanding! Expanding! Expanding! To the point that it continues to keep expanding forever and ever and ever embedded to its progenitor - never to fade away...]] The chalkboard was completely covered in white, with absolutely no vacant space for white chalk dust to occupy [[any questions?]]
Deadpool was staring blankly at the chalkboard. Admittedly, nothing of all she said entered his mind but he shook his head as soon as he mildly heard a gibberish of 'any questions' a reflex every grade schooler learn at a young promising age
[[GOOD! I was born into one of these universes]] she pointed at a random spot on the board [[I started out as a simple Pinkie Pie almost exactly the real Pinkie in every way!]]
"Wait - hold on, what do you mean the real Pinkie? are you a fake Pinkie? what's the real Pinkie?"
[[VERRY observant of you, Wade! Tell me, do you know what a creepy pasta is?]]
"The only pasta I know is the one you cook into spaghetti. No, I don't know what a creamy pasta is"
The mare only giggled at him [[You are very silly!... No... I was not born to look like what you see me now, this is a result from a gift given to me! Someone birthed me with the skill and desire to kill my fellow ponies and use their body parts as ingredients for my desserts - most notably my cupcakes]]
"Wow. Well, totally not one to talk here. Although the thought of eating my kill will probably only come up if it's say a mutant chimichanga... otherwise, well..."
[[OOOH! I love chimichangas!]]
"Really?"
[[Yes! I even once thought to mix it with cherries and wondered what it would taste like. What should I name it even? Cherrychanga? Chimicherry? Chimicherrychanga? I never did figured that out.. but anyway back to the topic at hand. That universe extended into several universes but since I’m a being - like you - also gifted with the ability to 'break the fourth wall' I was able to work around my adjacent universes and explored wherever I want.]]
"You mean like what I did with my adjacent universes? Except instead of just killing everyone you're killing everyone and THEN turn them into maniac fodder?"
[[Yes! Very good Wade, you are performing well in this class! I feel so proud of you!]]
"I feel like going vegan"
[[Haha! anyway, long story short every universe I explored has improved me in some way. Like the consciousness of whoever created those universes sent their darkest energy towards me. In some universes I don't kill ponies like I used to. Actually, I can't explain what I really do! What I did to you earlier before you wee-weed on yourself is called a Jump Scare, it's one of my many special talents. I can't explain to you the rest of what I do, it's an air of mystery thing]]
"I feel sick... like I never want to eat another taco ever again. To think that what created you is a creamy pasta - what, am I gonna find out soon a creamy pasta or a shiny taco is what created the evil voice in my head and ate my two other? ... Hey wait a minute here, where were you able to eat a chimichanga anyway?"
[[And that concludes our origin lesson!]]
Deadpool was blinded again with darkness "AAAAAH!!! Sweet vision how I treasure you so, more than ever! return to me and give me sight beyond sight! oh, thanks"
He looked around him and noticed that he's surrounded by trees again. "What the? Am I back in the forest? you little douche! why'd you sent me he--AAAAH!!" he turned to his side and saw the demon mare dangerously close to him, trying to suck his soul again. She held a hoof to her mouth, signaling him to quiet down... maybe? this thing doesn't have an index finger
[[Shhh! be quiet! I don't want you waking up everypony!]]
{{Pinkie Pie. Go explain to him how we got here and why we're here}}
Deadpool shifted his head around as if the source was somewhere other than inside his head "Go tell me? Are you telling me you knew all along why we're here?"
[[He didn't know at first. I told him earlier.]]
"You did? but I didn't hear you-"
[[I was the one who brought you here Wade.]] Deadpool fixed his gaze on her, for some reason it still feels like his soul is being sucked {{She was the presence I felt when we were in the abyss. She pulled us here to destroy this universe. Theoretically, we landed in the forest because it was the ideal place for us to sneak into this universe}}
Well... this DOES answer a lot of questions.. except... "... But why? Why bring me here? You seem capable of doing it yourself, why did you dragged me here instead?"
{{She never destroyed a single universe, at least like the way we have. She's not unbound like us, she doesn't have much freedom as we do}}
"What? look, I’m getting tired of not understanding a lot lately"
[[Explaining things can get boring and I’m very bored now really. Just look at it this way, you get a step closer in destroying all of fiction, and I get to finally see for myself a universe being destroyed! It's a win-win for both of us, see?]]
"Okay, just one last question" the demon mare raised her pony ears, ready to listen "Why do you want to see this universe destroyed?"
[[Because it'll be fun, silly!]]
Around this world, there's only one thing that can really harm him. One thing that would stop him from continuing his quest to give the sell-out corporations and writers the big fuck you from all of literature.
The Elements of Harmony. Real scary name, wooo. but she and his guide assured him that that was the most powerful weapon in this world, capable of either destroying him completely or sending him away from this universe making his first job is to disarm it. The wielders of the elements are six ponies all with their respective element:
Applejack for the element of Honesty, a strong farmer pony that lives in Sweet Apple Acres on the other side of Ponyville.
Fluttershy for the element of Kindness, she was the pony Deadpool stumbled on the cottage earlier.. apparently he already fucked up when he lost her because the cast from National Geographic went psycho and tried to kill him, now he probably doesn't have time before she warns the others.
Rainbow Dash for the element of Loyalty, physically this would be a challenge to kill seeing is that she's a very fast flier capable of breaking the sound barrier in seconds. Best approach would be stealth, preferably while she's asleep - the problem with that tactic would be getting on top of the sky on her home which is basically just a bunch of clouds morphed into a house.
Rarity the element of Generosity, should be easy to kill, no other comment.
Pinkie Pie - the totally non-demon version as the element of Laughter. Hmm, someone definitely isn't into jokes when they decided to spawn the demon Pinkie Pie from a creamy pasta - into sane jokes at least.
And lastly, Twilight Sparkle the element of Magic. A newly crowned princess, there's little limit on what she can do because she's basically that - the element of Magic. She probably could conjure a meteor shower for all he knows, best try to avoid as possible if you value keeping your vital organs intact.
The evil Pinkie Pie brought him to a forest in front of Sweet Apple Acres, the most logical choice would be to kill Applejack, since her farm is conveniently located at the other side of Ponyville - well away from Golden Oak Library where Fluttershy most likely went to.
In theory, if one wielder of the element dies the power of the other elements would be nil thus the Elements of Harmony would be impossible to execute since only the full power of the elements would be able to successfully summon it. In theory anyway, there's a possibility that a wielder of an element could be replaced by another - very unlikely to happen - but still a possibility or that the Elements of Harmony could be summoned even without all the elements in power. Basically the gist of what they explained to him is that the universe might act cheap or something because that's just how stories work, even more if the audience demands it - something comic book characters are all too familiar with, one of the reasons why he's killing the multiverse in the first place.
There were a lot of trees to pass through on the way, but the path the demon gave him was right. There it is, Sweet Apple Acres. It looks peaceful, nothing much to describe the place except for a large red house, a tilled plot of land on the side, Apple trees all around behind it, and a fence because property is property. This may suggest that occupants are a bunch'o red necks
"... huh?" Scootaloo nudged Sweetiebelle beside her with her gaze fixed outside "Girls, girls... I can see something in the forest"
Deadpool just stood there. Well, here he goes. He takes a deep breath and casually walked towards the red house
"... oooohh - Old Merc Deadpool saw a farm..."
The Elements of Harmony, huh?
"eeeyya... eeeyya... yyooo..."
Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Chapter 4: Satsui no Hadou, Shun Goku Satsu
Chapter 4: Satsui no Hado, Shun Goku Satsu
"Should we wake her up?" The purple dragon motioned to the alicorn, pointing at Fluttershy with her body surrendering to the comfort of Twilight's cushions.
Earlier, Twilight used her levitation spell to softly place Fluttershy on her own bed. The butter-yellow mare collapsed before she could enter the library tree house completely devoid of strength. Twilight and Spike were there at the room with Fluttershy limp on the bed where they left Pinkie Pie downstairs to relax
"I deeply regret doing this since she is obviously going through a lot tonight... but we have no choice. We need to hear from Fluttershy herself how the monster looks like, and hopefully she'll be able to tell us more"
The green purple scaled dragon took this as his cue and shook the comatose-like mare slowly. Still asleep. He shook her again, a little harder this time. Still won't wake up. Not so much a twitch or a sigh or anything. Spike's not sure if Fluttershy is usually this hard to wake up or what, but looking at her sleeping right now made him feel guilty. If not for the barely noticeable rising of her chest he'd think she's.. well ...
"It's no use... she won't wake up, Twilight" He turned to the equally worried alicorn. None of them have taken the situation very well "... do we write a letter to Princess Celestia?"
"... No. It's better that we learn more about the situation before we alert the princess, but Pinkie did mention that the monster tried to harm Fluttershy and killed her animals... i'm-i'm not sure if it's time to alert the princess now, but we have to tell the girls."
Both of them never turned their gaze away from the sleeping pegasus. They've seen Fluttershy break a lot of times before but not like this. As much as they want to hear more, they don't want to disturb her any further. They can't imagine how hard it must be to lose many friends in such a short time, and this is Fluttershy they're thinking about - she'd cry if somepony even looked at her bad enough - it's hard to even think about how she must be taking all this.
"Spike, stay here with Fluttershy while me and Pinkie tell the others" the princess didn't wait for an answer and proceeded to descend from the room. The girls have to know. She tried to compose herself, they'll have to mourn for everyone later - they have to attend to this matter right now.
Halfway down from upstairs, she shot a look at Pinkie Pie sitting on the carpet at the center of the room. Pinkie Pie looked back at her with her swollen eyes, drooped ears and more-than-usual unkempt mane. She looked like she aged as her trademark vibrant smile seem absent tonight. Her own state not any better than hers as she approach her troubled friend
"Pinkie. Let's go wake Rarity up"
Pinkie Pie slowly nodded in remark. She doesn't feel like talking tonight. She had a new pinkie sense earlier. It didn't made her feel any better, none of all this made her feel any better. She's been sad a lot of times before, but never like this.
This is the first time a friend of hers died. She even remembered the time she held a Welcome to Ponyville party for Zecora and apologized to her for being a scaredy-pony. Oh Zecora... and to think your birthday is only 48 days from now.
"Are you coming Pinkie?"
Her focus turned towards Twilight standing in front of the door, waiting for her to answer. She knew they'll have to be sad for another time.
".. Yes.. let's go Twilight"
Time against their side, they trotted to Carousel Boutique as fast as they can. When they appeared at the library Pinkie mentioned that Fluttershy sobbed earlier that the monster chased her to Ponyville and Angel gave his life to give her time to escape. By now, it could only be a matter of time before they or anypony gets attacked. Twilight briefly thought that they should split up so she could warn Rainbow Dash but abandoned it. It's too dangerous, besides Rainbow's cloud is so far away. They'll just have to stick together to warn Rarity.
The path to Carousel Boutique, Rarity's home and workshop was a long way off from the library near the town square and right beside the park. Judging by the distance of Fluttershy's cottage, Sugarcube corner, and the library - if there is a monster that's been after Fluttershy earlier then it would have been here already even if you take in account the time Angel saved - it could be attacking Rarity right now! Twilight is very glad she left Spike with Fluttershy.
At this time of night from Applebloom's room they can't even see the silhouette of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse, but there was something in the distance that Scootaloo's sharp eyes followed
"I don't see anything" Sweetiebelle pouted, sitting up on the bed scanning the view from the window. Beside her was Applebloom doing the same thing from her side of the bed. "Yeah, me either. Are you tryin' to scare us or somethin'?"
Scootaloo is SURE there's some weird shape approaching the barn. Eye coordination is key to avoid obstacles when you're zipping at very fast speeds. That said, she always trust her sharp eyes and it's quick reflexes - it's what makes her good using the scooter. Whether it's jumping over haystacks, avoiding moving ponies, or shooting through ramps - coordinating your senses is what makes you accomplish all these with almost no effort, but the most important of them of course is seeing them beforehand... and she's seeing something beforehand
"I'm serious girls! There's something walking towards here! - look! THERE! Near the clubhouse!"
"Ah, look at this - another tree house! And the right variety too" Deadpool kept approaching the farm as he spot one tree adorned with a small house supported by the trunk with several polished stairs "... This tree house actually looks nice. It even has a watch tower." Now he's sure the people who live on the farm are definitely red necks seeing is that the nearest neighbor is several meters away and equipped with a watch tower complete with a telescope probably intended to spy on them having incestuous sex. Even from this distance the windows on the side of the large house is pretty noticeable, if only he had a sniper rifle right now he could snipe the shit out of Applesack or whatever its name is
"... Why.. do I feel like I stand out?"
"There! it's right beside our clubhouse!" Scootaloo pointed her hoof at the direction of the barely visible clubhouse
Applebloom's eyes slightly grew "... Ah can see it! There IS something there!"
"There is? I still can't see it. What is it?" Sweetiebelle shifted her head to Applebloom and then Scootaloo waiting for an answer
"... I .. I can't make it out yet, but it doesn't look like somepony we know... or a pony at all.." with that said, the two ponies kept their gaze on the creature, Sweetiebelle still trying to spot the anomaly
"Hmm. You know, I’m getting a feeling this may not be the right entrance" He kept his pace towards the barn, a bit less confident than before and wishing he really had a sniper rifle.
{{We're approaching the side of the barn. Of course it's not the right entrance}}
"That's not what I mean"
{{I know what you mean}}
"What the...?" Scootaloo can see the shape clearly now... but she can't explain what it is
"What the hay is that?" Applebloom was next to clearly see the strange... 'thing' "I-It looks like a... a..."
"HEY! I CAN SEE IT NOW! I SEE IT!" Sweetiebelle absentmindedly shouted to everypony when she finally saw the creature, Scootaloo and Applebloom immediately faced her with shock, surprised at her lack of tact ".. Oops.."
Deadpool braced himself when he heard the scream from the barn, fixing his gaze on a second floor window where three ponies hidden well in the dark room became only noticeable because of the shriek.
"Well. So much for stealth... pretty pathetic alarm though - but I guess 'em rednecks ought'a improvise eh?"
{{Just go already}}
"Okay chums, let's do this-" almost instantly unsheathing his swords, he ran towards the barn - stealth being pointless now he screamed the most bad-ass battle cry ever made "LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOY JEENKIIIIIIINS!!"
"IT'S A MONSTER!! AAAAHH!!!" Scootaloo screamed followed by the rest of the cutie mark crusaders waking up everypony in the barn.
Deadpool was sprinting to the barn, pumped up with adrenaline he finally reached and jumped over the white fence surrounding the barn while the ponies kept screaming. Pacing forward he lunged through the narrow glass window below the sophisticated red neck alarm system, after a front roll he recovered his momentum using only his legs "Oh my god, Leeroy just went in!"
"WHAT IN TARNATION?!" Applejack jumped at the noise of glass shattering and somepony landing below. She was woken up by the screams of the crusaders at Applebloom's room across hers "WHAT THE HAY IS GOING ON THERE?!"
Big Mac's eyes just went up. A blank expression on his face, the sound of glass shattering made his eye narrow.
Looking up from his roll, he immediately saw a withered light green pony with a hairstyle that would trump a cafeteria lady's soundly asleep on a rocking chair making old-lady-sleeping sounds -- whew it even smells like old lady here! whoever thought naming a deodorant Old Spice definitely haven't smelled an old person before! Deadpool has more faith in the Axe-effect. With a commercial like theirs it's hard not to be convinced
He stood up from his fall, towering over the sleeping old pony - oh look, she has a picture of a pie on her flank, that's a really stupid tattoo to have.
"HEY! Are you Applesmack?!"
The old-timer just snored back at him. Who could stay asleep with all the noise around the house? Annoying brats screaming upstairs, a window just shattered in front of it, a psychopath screamed at it, this one really need to see where it messed up in life
Applejack rushed out of her room to see Big Mac just outside of his as the same time as her, they both darted to the direction of the stairs
"Giving me the silent treatment eh?" he pointed his blade at the chest of the snoring hag and pushed the hilt forward, the blade cut through the pony and the chair - its eyes darted open now and it's jaw dropped but no sound came up "Oh, NOW you're going to pay me attention?!" the old pony just stared in disbelief as its diaphragm fail to work from shock
"Alright whoever you are, you messed with the WRONG--" Applejack stopped descending in the middle of the stairs as she see a tall zombie pony-like creature stabbed Granny Smith, her blood staining the blade leaking from her back "--GRANNY SMITH!"
Big Mac saw the creature and Granny Smith stabbed - he has no words.
"Don't mind granny here kids! She's just having a heart-attack!" Deadpool pulled his blade out of the old creature while twisting a bit to its side cutting through a valve of the heart and ripping a lung making blood fountain out of the open wound. "Now which one of you is Applehack?!"
Applejack and Big Mac stared numbly at the creature while blood from Granny Smith's chest sprinkled onto it - it was a horrible sight, like an amalgamation of some Nightmare Night costume and several zombie ponies. Applejack can't fight this thing - she went past Big Mac as she instinctively run towards the crusaders and get them all out of here. Big Mac followed after her sister.
"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" he rushed towards the start of the staircase "God damn, it Leeroy!"
"KIDS! JUMP THROUGH THE WINDOW!" still screaming, the crusaders almost instantly complied as Applejack enter the room fearing for all of their lives. Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetiebelle were the first to exit the barn through their open window as they all land on the dirt a floor below followed by Applejack narrowly avoiding landing on the fillies. Big Mac leaned outside to check if they are alright.
"Is everypony okay?!" Applejack quickly frisked the girls to see if they were hurt, Sweetiebelle's hoof was sprained but everypony else is fine "Okay, let's go! let's go e--" Big Mac hasn't jumped yet. She faced the window and saw Big Mac still standing there "Big Mac! Jump already!"
Big Mac just shot her a look. She didn't like it "BIG MACINTOSH! GIT OUT ALREADY!!"
"WAAAAAAAAA!!!--" the assassin screamed a high pitched cry a power metal lead singer would be proud of, ready to make pony shish kebab when he was suddenly crashed by a chest-shattering buck to the stomach sending him away from the room
"BIG MACINTOSH! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!" Applejack hoped that her brother was safe when she heard the monster's interrupted scream. Everypony was equally worried and screamed for Big Mac to run away "BIG MAC!"
"CONSARNIT EVERYPONY!! GIT TO PONYVILLE AND WARN THE OTHERS!!" this was one of the few times Big Mac said a full sentence. Everypony was taken aback but Applejack was not going to leave her big brother
"NO! We ain't leaving without ya Big Mac!"
"Second attempt!-WAAAAAAA!!--" the attacker's solo was interrupted yet again with a powerful buck to the chest, sending him through into Applejack's room.
"APPLEJACK! LEAVE! PLEASE!!" the plea bellowed from the window, ponies a mile away could hear him.. is this why Big Mac is so quiet? because he's so... loud?
Leave?.. Leave her brother with this monster? She.. She can't do that!
"Applejack! We'll have to warn everypony! let's go!" Scootaloo was first to gather her senses from the groaning fillies
"NOO! This is my brother we're talkin 'bout!" the farmer pony scream's was so loud she practically blew at the little filly
"Applejack! LEAVE! This is yer big brother tellin' ya!"
... Big brother...
...
... Okay big brother... okay...
Hating her decision, Applejack grabbed Applebloom and Sweetiebelle laying them on her back "Let's go everypony!" Scootaloo reached for her scooter parked at the entrance of the farm and followed after Applejack's fast trot towards Ponyville
... Oh Big Mac, why did ya tell us to run?
Big Macintosh faced back to the direction of the creature that killed Granny Smith through a large hole on Applejack's room. He kicked the creature there. It has been a long time he used his strength like this
He slowly trudged to the wreckage, hearing a groan somewhere in the room. He went through the hole to see the creature lying on its back a short distance away from the wreck.
"WOOOSH!" the creature immediately sprang up and tried to stab him with his right sword. Big Mac just leaned his body from the left and slammed his left hoof to the creature's right claw, sending the blade away from its grasp and bludgeoned his right hoof to the side of the creature's face making it topple to its side. He stepped on the other blade released from the creature's claw from his blow and slid it opposite of them across the room. The creature then swiftly pulled out a shorter blade from a pocket and lunged it towards him with its right claw but it was deflected again by his left hoof. He quickly raised both his front hooves and brought them down on the creature's abdomen, the weight cracked the wooden floor. He raised them again and slammed it harder on the creature its blood littering his hooves while the floor weakened again. He raised them yet again and brought them down even harder, this time sending them both to the barn below.
"... ugh... what the hell..?" Deadpool gathered his senses from the fall, the horse nowhere in sight. Wow, that thing hits like a train, looks like he'll be in for a challenge. Sitting up, he notice a large wooden wheel barrow in mid-air coming towards him. OH SHI--
Deadpool didn't have time to react as he was sent away with the wheelbarrow thrown out of the barn. Toppling through the fence and rolling several times on the dirt the wheelbarrow rolled onto him in place. Recovering from the throw, he tried to push away the gigantic cart as he notice something distant on the sky on top of where he is. Something audible came from the object
"金剛國裂斬!!"
... wait, WHAT?
Big Mac landed through the wheelbarrow and on the creature like a comet, his front hooves impaling the creature sending a shock wave extending from the large Farm Pony, the force meteorizing the ground, debris of dirt and wood flung away from them, and the creature's blood splattering on him and around them.
"... what the..." the murderer coughed up its own blood "... fuck?... just when things are starting to make sense... Morpheus I think I’m ready for the blue pill..."
"WHY DID YA KILL GRANNY SMITH?!"
The assassin can feel the horse's breath on his face as its head drew closer. It stinks... actually, he takes that back his breath smells awesome... he's being platonic
"AND WHY ARE YA TRYIN TO KILL APPLEJACK?!"
"Nice accent, Clint Eastwood!" Deadpool spitted on the red horse littering its cheek, next thing he know he's flying in midair again hitting a tree that stopped his tracks. He slumped on the ground with his side, his chest open, and his intestines scattered from the blow. "Wow... what the hell, man..." blood was streaming from his mouth "... are you gonna tell me you were created by a creamy pasta too?... because... I might not have the guts to hear that..."
It amuses him. Applejack is a hard working pony and he can count on her to run the farm by herself, but nobody will argue that he's the backbone of this business, almost literally. Has nopony ever wondered how he can buck entire hectares of apples all by himself?
"This town ain't big enough for the both of us!" Deadpool then pulled out two guns and aimed at the literally red necked horse, trying to work up his strength to pull the triggers. Wow, he almost forgot he has guns. This senseless killing is working its way on his common sense
"..." the creature was pointing two small... black boxes at him.. but what in tarnation are they?
"Yeah, just stand there thanks. BANG BANG BANG!!" finally summoning a little strength he was able to pull the triggers repeatedly, but because for a lack of oh I don't know blood and internal organs his aim was a little off.
The black boxes were... shooting something at him. It's like there are things exploding in it, one of those things grazed his cheek and went deep in his left shoulder "AAHH!" he let out a loud but low moan, losing strength from his left. He high-tails it back to the barn while the boxes keep shooting at him, ignoring the pain and feeling the fast explosions zip around him
"YES! RUUUN!! skedaddle outta this 'ere neighborhood ya coward!" Deadpool followed suit with his intestine dangling out of his stomach, not ceasing his fire on the fleeing horse
{{Leave that thing! We're wasting time!}}
"What? NO! my large intestine is stretched out here, and besides my swords and knife is back at that house" Deadpool just kept firing at the horse. He's not particularly proud of his aim but he still get to scare the karate-cowpony "YEES! YEEESS! I HAVE UNLIMITED BULLETS! FEAR THE POWER OF LAZY COMIC BOOK WRITING!"
Big Mac finally took cover at the barn, the wooden walls not providing him any sanctuary until he concealed himself on a large haystack at the side. The loud explosion sounds finally stopped as he hear the hoof steps of the monster attacking him in the barn
"Where'd you go huh? I know you're around here because I saw you run in!... wait, then why am I asking where'd you went? Oh, don't you just love chase clichés?"
The farmer pony took a peek out from the haystack large enough to hide him. He saw the creature walking around the barn inspecting the hole from Applejack's room dragging it's intestine along and littering its blood all over the place
Haystack. What a pathetic place to hide into. Woo, Deadpool's looking for this horse and the haystack over there sure doesn't stand out! "WELL. I give up! You obviously vanished into thin air, NO WAY you could be in this barn hiding somewhere.... in fact, I’ll move in slow motion now for dramatic effect while I’m shooting my guns at this particular haystack to vent out my frustration" he points his weapons at a particular haystack
"I'm going to murder the fuck out of this haystack. Right aboooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuut nnoooooooooow!"
Immediately he was being strangled by his own intestine. The horse came out from the haystack behind him and wrapped his neck from behind with his own shit pipe - FUCK! he faced the wrong haystack!
"Hrrey! -ACK!- I wranted -aark!- to strangrer ryou wih my intestrine! -RRACK!- NRO FAIR!!"
Big Mac wrapped another loop at the creature's neck to avoid the intestine from tearing apart. The creature dropped the black boxes and tried to release the choke from its neck using its claws but he was too strong for it. The grip would not lessen no matter how much the creature struggle - this thing killed Granny Smith! He's not going to let her die without justice
He just kept trying to lessen the grip from his shit tube - crap, of all the ways he'd die this will definitely stand out for a long time. He can feel a meme coming up
Finally the creature just seem to... stop struggling "Blerck! Arm gorna drieee!! Blerck..." it sticks out its tongue to the side and just stopped moving against his grip. Big Mac let go of the creature, letting it fall down to the floor. Something was not right... but maybe the lack of stomach finally had its effect on the monster... but still...
".... something ain't right around here..."
Is this it? Is this the end of our hero, Deadpool?... well... maybe it is.. ah fuck it, no more cliffhangers or fancy words - Deadpool's dead, Equestria is safe, deal with it. End of story
THE END
Written by iamthemithras
CAST
Deadpool as himself
Evil Deadpool Consciousness as himself
Zecora as herself
Angel Bunny as himself
Fluttershy as herself
Bird#1 as itself
Bird#2 as itself
Bear#1 as Mr. Brown Bear
... you get the idea
Special Thanks to
Cullen Bunn for the Deadpool Killogy
Lauren Faust for My Little Pony, I guess
No actual zebra, bear, bird, squirrel, chicken, rooster, bunny, pony were harmed in the making of this Fan Fiction
THANKS FOR READING!
"Gotcha!"
Still lying on the floor, the creature grabbed the boxes unluckily within his reach and fired at him hitting all over his chest from under.
"AAAGH!" Big Mac didn't have enough time to let out a low scream as the explosions projectile through his body, escaping through his chest and hooves making him instantly fall down to the floor.
He never felt pain this hard before.. NEVER... plowing through the fields right now with the rusty plow would be nothing compared to what he's sitting through now... he can't die now..
"I can't believe you fell for that one haha!" the creature said between laughs, lifting itself from the ground. This thing was dead! DEAD! He saw it just die from his grasp.. albeit a.. unique death, but it died! didn't it?!
"You really expected to strangle me to death with my own gut? wahaha!!" the creature was standing in front of him taunting while his limp body lay on his side, spurting out blood from all over to the ground. "Do you even know how soft intestines are? Sure, I wanted to strangle you with it but only to piss you off with the smell!"
"Wh-Who.." the horse coughed up some blood "What... are ya..."
"Me? Well I think it's kind of late for an introduction but alright. My name is Deadpool. Like DEAD as in you will be and POOL as in of your blood" as the creature talk, he finally notice the open hole on the creature somehow... shrinking? like its growing back its lost flesh
"I have a healing factor - which means I heal like mad, man. Shoot me with a bullet, the wound will heal itself. Pulverize me with a giant hammer, my bones will heal way better than when you first tried milk. Somehow find a way to melt me, I’ll just reappear like Death has some sort of boner for me... ahaha! that one's no metaphor by the way"
He can't end like this... Granny Smith was the only one who knows what to do best in situations like this.. she was the one who always calmed his anger when he needed to
"I used to be a bad guy. Then I turned into a good guy. Then I turned into whatever I am now, which is a good guy from my perspective."
Granny Smith isn't here anymore... there's no one here except him and this monster
"You however have some explaining to do. I heard you speak Japanese a while ago, I can speak Japanese you know - Deddopūru hentai seiyoku desu! - see? and I don't say it in kanji either so people can pronounce it with me you clusterfuck"
It's been a long time since he tapped to this power. He's tried his best to avoid tapping in it, but tonight will be an exception
"Now you listen here! Just when this story is beginning to make sense you have to go in mid-air and mutter 'Kongou Kokuretsuzan' which most people will assume is Japanese for 'I'm going to fuck you up' for all they care. Now you go and tell me right now how a redneck like you get some Street Fighter moves"
"...nn..nnnope"
Ah'm sorry Granny Smith... I have ta do this
"... Alright fine! Die with your secret then!"
A quick shot to the head. Game over. And the winner of the World Warrior Tournament is Deadpool! Thank you, Thank you - you all shouldn't have aw really.. but still it sucks not to have some answers.
{{I can't stress enough how important you need to get out of here. Leave that thing already!}}
"Relax James Earl Jones, all we have to do is catch up to Appleshag and we're home free!"
{{NO! Don't you get you idiot! You let this Applejack get away minutes ago! Soon she'll be here with the rest of the Elements, you screwed up!}}
"Okay Okay! Sheesh, it's not the end of the world yet. Let me just grab my weapons upstairs and we'll think of something"
One short look back to his opponent. Whew, Horses are hard to kill! This one is lying on its side riddled with gunshot wounds all over, if he didn't shoot its brains out it'd probably stand up again. He entered the barn through the front door and saw the limp old pony corpse still resting on the rocking chair. It didn't seem like it struggled after the attack, like it just went and accepted it's fate.
{{They'll be here any minute now. Obviously you can't face them head-on - if they do reach us go straight for the woods, we'll be safer there}}
"I know, I know" walking up the stairs he entered through the hole made earlier and grabbed one of his sword on the edge of the room.
"Hey, you think that thing was made from a creamy pasta too?"
{{No. The energy around it is different from our friend earlier. But there is some... power... mildly present in it. To be quite honest I was expecting to see it further}}
Walking towards the other end of the room to grab his sword and knife, he took a glimpse at the hole on the floor made from the pounding he took earlier. Almost in full view is a pool of blood splattered all over the floor
"Power? I thought the only problem I have here is the Elements of Harmony?" picking up the other sword and knife, he sheathed the swords to his back and withdrew the knife back to his pocket. Deadpool then proceeded to the room where the other ponies jumped out from earlier and by instinct gazed at the horizon
"Whoever noticed me in this lack of light around has really good eyes. I can barely make out the tree house I saw earlier"
It's quiet around here. No birds, no crickets, no anything. It seems the only noise around here was the fight he had with Japanese redneck Neo a while ago. It's because for this very reason that he was able to hear a mob of hoof steps in the distance getting slightly louder.
{{They're here. Get out}}
"Running away time!" with that he ran back to the open room earlier and jumped down the hole to the barn. It was a large drop, but years of mildly imitating Spiderman has its perks. Quickly recovering, he sprinted to the opposite side of the barn and --
"Wait a minute" he quickly faced the spot, trying to make sense of things "What happened to--"
"Darlings, why on Equestria would you visit this late?"
Twilight and Pinkie was standing in front of Rarity at Carousel Boutique's door, immediately answering the commotion they were making that late. Luckily she wasn't asleep but working on her inspiration room all night.
"Rarity! no time to explain but--"
"RARITY!THERE'SAMONSTERONTHELOOSETHATKILLEDZECORAANDWENTAFTER--" Pinkie's panic was muffled by Twilight putting her hoof on the pink mare's mouth
"What we're trying to tell you is there's a monster on the loose and we are - wait, are you all alone here Rarity?"
"..W-Why yes Twilight, I let Sweetiebelle sleepover at Applejack's tonight - but Twilight, what is this talk about a monster?" Rarity was perplexed of all this. What could possibly be so important that Twilight and Pinkie Pie would come this late and warn her about?
Twilight continued with her hoof covering Pinkie's still muffling mouth "There's no time to explain Rarity, we have to warn the other girls - all of Ponyville is depending on us" she let go of Pinkie's mouth in which the mare became uncharacteristically silent
She grabbed rarity by her hoof pulling her from her house "B-but Twilight! Where are we going?" the white unicorn tried to calmly inquire of her, keeping up with their fast trot to wherever they are going
"To Applejack's! Fluttershy is already at the library and Rainbow Dash is too far off - we can't separate from each other, there's no telling how powerful this monster is"
"What of this monster, Twilight? What is so important that you both have to run over to the boutique and check up on me?"
"I do not know any more than you do. Pinkie Pie here told me that Fluttershy reached her first to tell what happened to Zecora and her animals"
"Pinkie Pie?" after passing through Sugarcube Corner, the white unicorn faced the pink earth pony leading the way with Twilight beside her "What happened to Zecora and the animals?"
Pinkie didn't respond - rather silent of her tonight. After a few moments Twilight took the liberty to answer her question "The monster killed them Rarity. They're gone"
"GONE?!" she in no way expected the night would turn out like this "But how?! Are you sure about this Twilight, Pinkie?"
Pinkie finally broke her silence "I didn't ask Fluttershy how it happened, as soon as she told me we ran straight to Twilight's. She fainted on the way"
"...Why on Equestria... Where is this monster now? Twilight?" Rarity was beginning to feel less composed at the moment, her voice breaking in tone "Pinkie? What does it look like?"
Ignoring Rarity's queries the mares finally reached the path to Sweet Apple Acres at the school where they saw a silhouette of two figures in the distance rushing to their direction. The girls slowed to a trot to inspect the shadowy figures closer
"It's Applejack and the crusaders!" the two other ponies glanced at Pinkie in confusion who suddenly continued to shout at the figures "Applejack! It's us!"
"Pinkie Pie?!" a loud but tired shout came from the figure in the distance - she was right, it was Applejack!
Finally they caught up with the farmer pony with Applebloom and Sweetiebelle on her back and Scootaloo on her scooter catching up just a short distance from the school. Applejack was breathing very heavily from the burden of running all the way from the farm while carrying the two ponies but she was strong enough to tell them what's happening
"Twilight! Some monster just killed Granny Smith and tried to kill all of us!"
"What?! But how could that.."
"It's true! We ran for our lives but Big Mac stayed behind and fought the monster himself!" Scootaloo took it upon herself to explain what happened "I saw it approach from the woods! It's probably on its way here!"
"Sweetiebelle, are you okay?!" Rarity rushed to her sister at Applejack's back "Your sprained your hoof! Oh dear, what happened to you girls?"
"We jumped out the window earlier to escape the monster" Everypony faced Applejack as she explain "Big Mac told us to run to Ponyville and warn all'a ya, Twilight we have ta get back there and save him!"
Twilight tried to make sense of everything - is it the same monster that attacked Fluttershy before or are there more than one monster attacking Ponyville? "Applejack, tell us what the monster looks like"
The farmer pony rushed her words "U-uh - It's tall, and uh standing on its hind legs - it has tiny claws and wearing something red and has skin like a zombie pony - look Twilight mah brother is there we have to save him!"
That description sounds familiar.. this better not be Sunset Shimmer's doing.
"Okay, Rarity take the fillies to the library while the rest of us warn Rainbow Dash"
It only took a moment for her to kindle "WHAT?!"
"Applejack we can't face the monster all by ourselves, we need--"
"NO! I ain't listenin' to yer fancy brainy talk - mah brother is there fightin' that thing and ah'm going back there to save him! Let's go Pinkie!" and with that she ran towards Sweet Apple Acres and almost immediately Pinkie Pie followed after
"WAIT! GIRLS!" Twilight faced Rarity, unsure of what to do
"You go on ahead Twilight, I’ll bring the girls to the library" The lavender alicorn nodded and followed after the two. "Girls, we have to go to the library now" the two fillies just nodded, too horrified to say anything this night while Scootaloo looked over to the ponies running to the farm
"Miss Rarity, where's Rainbow Dash?"
"Applejack! We don't know what this thing is capable of doing!"
"Of course! Exactly why I ain't leavin mah brother with it!"
"It's probably the same monster that killed Zecora and Fluttershy's animals!"
"What?!" the orange earth pony faced the alicorn behind her - not stopping her rush "A monster killed Zecora and Fluttershy's animals?!"
"Yes! It's why I think it would be best for all of us to stick together at this point!"
"Did you tell the princess already?"
"No"
"WHY DIDN'T YOU?!" the two earth ponies screamed at her in unison, making her doubt the wisdom behind her decision to not warn the princess
"I-I.. I don't know how terrible the situation is!"
"Zecora is DEAD and ya don't know how terrible the situation is?!" the girls are still frowning at her while pinkie retorts with Applejack "YEAH!"
"I'm sorry! I was hoping the situation wouldn't be this big and would be isolated at the Everfree Forest!"
They can finally see the farm despite the time of the night, they hurried to the entrance not stopping for anything. The distance between Fluttershy's cottage and Sweet Apple Acres is exremely far, if this is the same monster how could it travel between the places so fast?
"Applejack, can the monster fly?"
"What the hay are ya talkin' about Twilight? Why would ya--"
"竜巻!"
There was an explosion from the farm that caught everypony's attention. A large purple flame rocketed from the barn to the other side of the woods across the entrance of the farm.
"-What in the... What in tarnation is THAT?"
That's it. He quits. This universe can destroy itself for all he cares. Fuck all this - he's pretty content with destroying his own adjacent universes. At least he never got spinning kicked through several trees in those universes or has to worry about demon ninja ponies spawned from conveniently named food... hey wait a minute is that Akuma's theme song from MvC3 playing in the background?
Youtube Video
It's still happening by the way - he's being spinning kicked through several trees - by a horse - that he killed earlier - while on fire - after ridiculously shouting in Japanese - while on EVIL-PURPLE fire. Go on, try to picture that in your mind for a minute. Shit, if this isn't lazy writing he doesn't know what is.
"豪昇龍拳!!" in mid strike Big Mac charged his right hoof and strikes the monster straight up its chest sending it upwards to the sky. The Goshoryuken, the move he made when he had his cutie mark by splitting several apples in half because of the force of his hoof.
"I believe I can flyyyyyyyyy♫-oof!" launching from an approximate 60° angle from the Redneck Ninja Pony™ he lands on a different part of the forest far away from the farm. Not that he can tell anyway, the trees around him are practically apple tree clones. "Hey listen wherever you are, we can talk this over - I’ll split this universe with you! we'll share it!"
He darts his head to every direction, hoping to get a glimpse of the Redneck Ninja Pony™ "Look, we'll be an unstoppable team! Deadpool Kills the Technicolor Rainbow Horses team-up with the Teenage Redneck Ninja Pony™! note the frequent use of the trademark symbol there - I call dibs on the idea!"
Atop the Apple forest, a bright light shone in the night sky
"Daniel Way and Cullen Bunn will SHIT their pants on this one, we'll even get Rob Liefield for the art!--no wait, people don't like him... look uh, we'll turn it into a pixar movie - we can have Nolan North to do the VO for me and uh.. Eddie Murphy for yours! Michael Bay can take care of the rights!"
"滅殺豪波動!!" The bright light glowed into a fiery purple, raining down a beam from its place in the sky towards the assassin below. The Messatsu Gou Hadou. A powerful surge of energy focused through a pony's hooves by using one's ki powered by the Satsui no Hado, both were taught to him by Master Fuji from the land far from the east past Griffon. Master Fuji sought for the incarnation of Akuma - the supreme master of the hoof and claimed that he found him in Ponyville and that Big Mac.. was him.
"I'd sing a song right now by Bruce Springsteen, but copyright infringement is annoying. So I’ll just go and say I'M ON FIRE! AAAAHHH!!" Deadpool rolled on the ground while screaming when the fire beam faded out from the sky, trying to douse the purple flames on him. "HUWA!HUWA!HUWAHUWAHUWA!!WAAAAAH!!!" He feels like the freakout kid from that YouTube video who shoved a remote up his ass. Still busy being on fire, he failed to notice the burning Teenage Redneck Ninja Pony™ land near his spot from the sky.
He just eyed the pathetic creature roll itself on the ground while screaming like some special needs colt. Pathetic. To think something like this killed Granny Smith... did he fail on protecting his family? He thought the past was over - why did this had to happen? Now he's losing control of himself again, he can feel the power of The Surge of Murderous Intent controlling him "Yer too weak to handle mah full power"
Oh no he DID--IN'T! after finally dousing himself from the fires of the laser beam from God, still lying on the ground he finally faced up to the horse. The horse seem to be burning, but its body is not... cooking - like it's on fire only for dramatic effect, or it's on fire but the animator is lazy. There's a real frightening vibe around it, but totally different from the Demon Pinkie Pie earlier - this one feels like he's going to be beat down to a pulp. To complete the look the eyes seem to be glowing red, but in an evil-I’m-gonna-kill-you way instead of evil-I’m-gonna-eat-your-soul way... not sure which one he's supposed to be more terrified of now.
"Stand up and redeem yer honor by fightin' me"
Whoa! That thing's voice even sounds more evil! He'd give it a few pats on the back for out-evilling his own scary evil consciousness "Sure. Hold on, let me stand up and fight fair and--FIRE!!" he pulled out his gun from his left holster while in the missionary position minus a girl and fired at--haha! fired... get it? because the horse is on fire and he said.. ah...
The creature tried to use a black box on him again - he expected this and by using the ki of the Satsui no Hado he zipped to his side circling the assassin with tremendous speed, no magic can do the things he can as far as he knows. Zooming through the trees in wild directions now, he kicked away the imploding black boxes on the now-standing creature and bucked him through a tree.
Pathetic. This creature is Pathetic. If it didn't kill Granny Smith he would've stopped wasting his time with it long ago.
Deadpool is beginning to lose consciousness - why he has a healing factor but apparently still can feel physical pain is beyond him. He's barely standing with his back resting on the tree that got chipped. This thing spinning kicked him through several trees just a while ago, why is it holding back now? coughing up some chunks of his own blood he tried to reason with it again
"..h-hey, you thinking over the proposal? I mean, I’ll do it you know.. for the record I’m sorry I killed that granny a while ago.. no hard feelings right?"
"I.."
Deadpool cocked his head forward, waiting for an answer from the Redneck Ninja Pony™. Even when he can't feel his entire body he's sure he just dropped a package from his glory hole "...w-we'll share the profits 25/75... 75 for me naturally"
".. I am Akuma... and I will show you the meaning of pain"
That family-friendly redneck voice is seemingly absent from its voice as it pound its hooves to the ground. The flames on the horse intensified as it glide straight to our hero, his body refusing to move Deadpool accepted whatever the demon will do to him
Atop the Apple forest, a bright light shone in the night sky.
But that light was might as well be gone
Not feeling his body, it’s akin to being trapped inside a rag doll - totally powerless to move your own joints.
The purple flame covered him
Then the darkness
Though his body can't feel pain anymore, he almost sense that they're being torn apart
He can hear himself almost fading... incinerating from existence
There was no light to see it all happening - he was blind
Then he heard the sound of something tumbling on the ground, dangerously close to his ears
...It was his head..
Scrambling his eyes he begged for light to enter this place
... And it finally did
A large open space was present where the trees around them used to be. The trees around him has been torn down, every single trunk fell to directions opposite of them - even from his vantage point he can tell that he's in a perfect circle right now. His blood littered the trunks everywhere, the tattered remains of his costume sprayed on every side of the onslaught, his weapons out of sight except for one blade lying on the center the light reflecting from it piercing his eyes almost directly below his assailant.
He was just a head now. God damn it, he's only a head now. I guess you can say this is poetic justice for the stunts he pulled earlier. The horse was standing in the center his back turned to him, he thinks it's wise to play dead.
The Shun Goku Satsu. Instant Hell Murder. Big Macintosh only used this technique once, and Granny Smith made him promise to never tap in this power again. It's a dangerously powerful move that pierces through the enemy's soul - but one must fully embrace the principle of Satsui No Hadou the 'Surge of Murderous Intent' in order to learn it alone. He has not used this power for a long time, with good reason.
"The Raging Demon... Its power is unequal... It is not my hooves, but your past sins that will kill you... The more evil your past doings, the more painful your death..."
He's not going to die, haha, he has a healing factor... right?... he's not going to die now, right?
The burning red horse turned to face his decapitated head... does it know he's still alive?
"Each victory is a missed opportunity to die..."
"Big Macintosh! Big Macintosh!" the raging horse faced to the direction of the screams, there were three voices shouting in a direction from the woods. Its subtle but the flames on the red horse seems to be dying out very slowly.
"... Applejack.." slowly the flames igniting on the horse is fading out as the voices seemed louder but still distant. He recognizes the voices from anywhere - Applejack and her friends Pinkie Pie and Twilight. She came back for him.
"BIG MACINTOSH!" the three ponies followed the path of broken trees as they scream for Applejack's dear brother.
"I have never seen magic like this! A large purple flame bring down so many trees physically but not burning them? I'm sure this isn't scientifically--"
"Quit yer yap fer later Twilight when we found mah brother! BIG MAC! WHERE ARE YA?!"
Pinkie was hopping around the path, hoping she would get a glimpse of him too "Oh Big Mac! Big Maaaaac!!"
"BIG MAC!"
This is it. It's his time now. Though it is very early for him to go, he knows he can't live like this forever. There is one thing that will out-strengthen his desire to fight and continue fighting to be the best. It's love. When Master Fuji urged him to stay and train, It's his love for his family that drew him back to Equestria. He can't leave his family and friends behind for the opportunity to continue Akuma's legacy.
He's not Akuma. He's Big Macintosh.
It is extremely difficult to resist the power of Satsui No Hadou once anypony has embraced it - impossible according to Master Fuji, but he has done it before - and today will be no different. Once you have repelled your ki from the power, you will be extremely weak compared to the strength you once had and past injuries will return to your body, weakening you further.
Past injuries.
"IT'S A DEAD END!" the straight path of broken trees stopped at one end completely devoid of Big Mac and the monster "FIDDLESTICKS! Where the hay are they?!"
"BIG MAC!"
Goodbye Applejack, he'll be joining Granny Smith now. Though you might never know everything that had happened, I at least have saved everypony from this monster.
My death... is pointless... but not without honor. Take care of Applebloom. Sorry. Goodbye
The purple fire on the horse completely extinguished, it's eyes stopped glowing red and immediately it fell to its side. Almost immediately it looked like it did when Deadpool killed it, riddled with bullet holes everywhere but less blood is pouring out now.
... It's dead... what..?
"... so... good job for me, I guess?"
{{No}}
Deadpool's vision is beginning to dim.. being decapitated is taking its toll now as he quickly lose his grip on his thoughts
"..holy...shit... am.. am I really... dying?"
{{Sort of..}}
Sort of? He's been decapitated a lot of times before. It's true that you get to stay conscious for a while assuming you got lucky or got used to the shock. You'll faint eventually, but it feels more like going to sleep instead of... losing your grip on your mind like he's feeling now..
[[Haha! That was a FUN fight! That was sooo cool!!]]
He can hear her voice but can't understand what she said and where it's coming from. He can't see her but it's maybe on account of losing his vision
[[You should've seen yourselves back there! Big Mac was like - wooshwooshwooshwoosh! while he was spinning kicking you destroying the trees and you were like - bangbangbangbangbang! - and he was like - wataaa! kick your black box while I scream in a different language! - and you were like - ow ow ow! let's make a movie! hahahaha!!]]
She's giggling. Fuck. He's dying out here and someone's laughing about it?... wait, never mind.
[[hahaha! oh sweet Celestia that was amazing!... oh and you're about to die too, but you should've seen yourself, that was ammaaziing!!]]
Can't...fucking...understand...anything...
[[Oh dear, I think she heard me.... Oh well! let's get you outta here in a jiffy!]]
Mind.. getting.. blank... hate... creamy.. pastas..
"Over here girls! I heard something here! Hurry!"
"Pinkie hold on! Wait for us!"
[[Let's go Casanova!]]
"COME ON! QUICK!"
Pinkie Pie was hopping very fast for Twilight and Applejack to follow. She claimed she heard some noise somewhere far off, but they didn't hear a thing since the purple flame.
"QUICK! We don't have much time!"
Whatever Pinkie heard it sure is a long way off, there is no way she could have heard something so far away
"HURRY! Time isn't on our side!"
"Darn it Pinkie, we git what yer sayin' already! just lead the way!"
"Sorry!"
After a long period of hopping she finally stopped at one point where light seem to reflect from it. Twilight and Applejack was a short distance off before they finally caught up with her. Gasping for air and immediately regretting it because of the foul smell within, they both entered the dimly lighted spot Pinkie did before them.
".. oh... sweet Celestia..." Twilight's was the first voice to enter the scene
Little patches of fire surrounded the ground littered with blood, red cloth, and wood debris that could only be from the tumbled trees surrounding the perimeter all over. It was a bloody mess, red streaks splattered all around the trees at the scene, there were flesh hanging from some branches and a sword placed parallel to the body of Big Macintosh lying on the ground riddled with small wounds all over his body
"..oh.. Big Macintosh!" Applejack finally ran and wrapped her hooves around his body, her tears flowing down heavily from her face. She wailed there on the spot, her gaze darting to every direction on Big Macintosh's body. She should have stayed with Big Mac, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
"Oh Big Mac! I'M SORRY! Ah shouldn't have left ya in the farm!" she buried her head to her hooves and mourned for him, knowing there's nothing she can do
Twilight and Pinkie just stood there watching Applejack. They all lost Zecora, Fluttershy lost her animals, and now Applejack lost Granny Smith and Big Mac. Why was this monster targeting their loved ones? And how could it have killed so many in so little time? Is this even the same monster?
"Something is not right around here. The splattered blood all over this place doesn't seem to be from Big Macintosh. Where were all these red cloth came from?"
Everypony looked again at their surroundings, with Applejack still sobbing.
"Big Mac's body is intact. The litter here came from somepony else..." Twilight faced Pinkie Pie "Pinkie, what did you hear over here anyway?"
"I thought I heard somepony laughing here. I was sure."
"You're sure?"
"Yes, Twilight! I really did!"
...How... how could she hear somepony laughing here when she and Applejack didn't hear a thing?
Facing back the carnage "From the looks of it, it seems like... something exploded here. Maybe it was the monster earlier, we don't know."
"Twilight..." the two ponies granted their attention back to the yellow earth pony, her lighter mane and hooves stained with little streaks of blood from her brother's body "I reckon it's time to tell the princess now?"
"... It's time."
Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Chapter 5: 666
"Wade, my darling?"
There is literally nothing where Deadpool is right now. No winds, no ground, no sound, no nothing but darkness all over the place - he can't even fathom if he's floating or standing since he can't feel a thing.
"Hello again, my love..."
Ah that sweet tender caring voice... he can recognize that from anywhere, he'd kill just to hear that voice anytime... which is... well, right now
"Death, baby girl!... I can hear you, but ah... I can't see you babe.." he tried to look around the place, but either he can't move or he just can't feel the motions
"I'm sorry Wade.. as much my omnipotence can grant me there are still... other powers that resist my influence.." her soft tender voice sounded a bit... stern or something...
"... Yeah, sorry babe... but one day we'll be together - I just know it! I mean, my healing factor has GOT to die down sooner or later right?... granted that that may take probably 500 years or so, but still"
"That's not what I mean, darling..." her soft voice trailed to a desperate tone.. like she's worried about something "Listen Wade, I can only reach you for a moment, there are powers in you and around you that resists my presence"
"... What... do you mean?" this is beginning to sound bad "Death - baby! Would you mind, like, showing your cute bony cheeks to me? It's really is a bummer talking to you like this, I feel weird really"
"I can't Wade... an immense power is preventing my influence not only to your world but worlds around it" there was a more aggressive tone from her voice, but somehow is still soft and nervous.. "This power is growing Wade, and I am losing control of those universes"
"Whoa whoa whoa... are you serious babe?"
"Wade..." oddly, her voice seem to be getting softer - to the point of being barely audible "I cannot claim the souls. I can hear their cries for release from this... entity, but I cannot reach to them. It is only a matter of time before it claims you too. I need your help..."
"...What?... claims me? What's going on?"
"You must find a way to destroy this power my love" her voice is beginning to fade even further "If you don't, not only will we never be together, but soon this power will span across..." her voice trailed off into nothing, her voice no longer present only echoed shortly after her words
"Babe? Babe! What am I supposed to destroy?! DEATH!"
"DEATH!!"
[[Whoa there! Nice to see you finally awake, sleepy pants!]]
Creamy pasta Pinkie greeted him as he sit up from the floor of her... hell dimension or something, it seems like he fully regenerated again. He's so glad he can feel his body again as he look at his hands and check Wade Jr. all intact
"Oh shit.. for a second there I thought I almost died..."
{{Us too. I lost you for a moment}}
Oh the evil voice! He almost forgot about him
"Lost me for a moment huh... well isn't that convenient..."
Suddenly Deadpool feels less gullible today...
"So uh.. how long was I out?" Deadpool turned to Pinkie the friendly nightmare as he stands up feeling a slight cold wind airing his balls
[[Exactly 66 hours and 6 minutes! cool huh?]]
"What the fuck - I regenerated for that long?!"
[[Not really. Your body... 'regenerated' just fine. It's your mind that totally blanked out, our friend in your noggin was the only one I could talk to for the last hours or so. He's not as funny as you though, but still]]
"Wai-Wai-Wait. If I’m out, wouldn't HE be out too? I mean, he's in my mind - right?"
{{It's a lot more complicated than that}}
[[Indeed it is!]]
He'd ask them how 'complicated' that is exactly but this time he'll just not think about that. Suspension of disbelief is critical to keeping whatever is left of your sanity when you're crazy as fuck
[[So! Ready to continue destroying this universe?]]
"ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT! FUCK YOU, and FUCK your FUCKING universe! I ain't doing this shit anymore - thanks for the opportunity, but I prefer to destroy a universe that ISN'T FUCKING broken yet!"
He just had the strangest conversation ever and she had to bring this up, that is just rude "And don't think I’ve forgotten that I just fought this universe's version of Neo, either!"
[[Don't be such a meanie! I mean, you won!... sorta]]
"SORTA? - I 'SORTA' FUCKING magically got DEAD back there! - which would be REALLY FUCKING convenient in any other circumstance!"
{{Pinkie Pie, What was that all about? The energy I felt from that horse was very different}}
[[I don't know! I'm just as surprised as you guys are! It doesn't even feel like magic, I’ve never felt power like that too]]
Well, the little demon does look genuinely surprised. But this is a demon! right? He guesses he should expect his back to be stabbed eventually, but admittedly that won't make sense... wouldn't it?
"I'm FUCKING done with this shit. Look at me, I’m fucking naked here. I keep spare costumes on my FUCKING pockets and obviously I don't FUCKING have them on me. Contrary to popular belief, my FUCKING costume doesn't FUCKING regenerate itself you know!"
[[You have a dirty-icky mouth mister. Why do you always say that word?]] the demon pony was giving him that face mothers do before they ground their kid to their room
"Say.. what FUCKING word?" he raised his left eyebrow at her - that is, if you still count eyebrows that don't really have.. well, brows
[[That word!]]
"You mean - FFFUCK?" he threateningly approach the bloody pony, too pissed off to be creeped out by her
[[Yeah]] she just kept her face straight. Okay, Deadpool will be the first to admit he'll lose to a staring contest with her
"B-Because-FUCK YOU that's why!" He pointed his finger at her menacingly. He is so terrifying "and I don't give a FUCK! and also - the answer to your first FUCKING question is FUCK YOU!" he turned his back against her and raised his hands to the air "FUCK!"
[[You need to calm down, mister. After all it's not like you failed or anything... I’m sure nothing like before will happen again! You have much much more work to catch up on!]]
You know, when you listen to that demon horse without looking at her she kinda sound cute and cuddly - as long as you ignore the demonic undertone.
"Listen, do you want to know how I was able to kill so many.. "literary" people? It's because they're pretty static when it comes to identity. I already know and anticipate how fast Spiderman is, and I know how to confuse his spider sense. You see, it's pretty easy once you figure out the strategy - and I never had to worry about Spiderman launching a hadouken at me because I know it doesn't happen like that!.... THIS place HOWEVER.... well fuck"
He turned back to face the red pony just standing there with a smile plastered on its face "... you didn't understand a word I said did you?"
[[Oh? Uh.. sure! HEY! Do you want to watch something fun?]]
".... Yeah, sure. What is it?"
Pinkie Pie pulled out a crystal ball out of... her ass? Or what? Deadpool doesn't understand, it kind of looked like it just materialized from her rear and she just grabbed and placed it in front of them complete with a 'WIIIP!' cartoon sound effect
"Did you pulled that out of your ass?"
[[What? Sorry, I don't really understand most of your words]]
"Never mind, is that it? is that what you were going to show me?"
[[No, I haven't shown you anything yet!]]
She waved her hooves around the crystal ball as some black smoke move within, even complemented with a cartoon 'WOOSH' sound effect [[Now BEHOLD! Watch the crystal ball as it reveal all! Be in awe at the image you...saw... something something rhyme with ball - WOOOO!!!]]
He leaned forward to the ball as an image of a large crowd of ponies gather around three newly dug graves with three coffins on their side somewhere outside of town which he assume must be Ponyville. A brownish pony was giving a sort of speech to the crowd as they huddle together, some are crying and everyone is evidently gloomy. This kind of picture would be complete if it's raining but too bad it's particularly sunny
[[They're holding a funeral service right now for the everypony you killed earlier. It took them a while to find Zecora in the forest, and the animals you killed earlier are already buried near Fluttershy's Cottage. Fluttershy is staying at Rarity's place while Applejack and Applebloom are staying with Twilight's]]
"I guess you wouldn't want to stay in the place where your family and friends just got murdered for a while"
[[Yup! I think Fluttershy is going to have her cottage demolished soon, I don't know about Sweet Apple Acres though]]
"Hey, this is a really large crowd.. hey! check out those two big ponies - awesome hairstyle" his finger pointed at two regal looking ponies one white and the other in a dark shade of lavender with technicolor hair swaying action
[[Those are the princesses. You see, the elements are a huge ally to Equestria and one of them is practically a newly made princess now. Combine that with the fact that their family and friends all got killed by a mysterious zombie looking monster that vanished without sight, then you got the most popular funeral in all of Equestria!]]
There wasn't enough time for funerals to take place when he started this 'redeeming' business. Usually because that so many important figures are already dead that everyone just practically panicked overnight. There's some sense of success you feel when you see something like this happen just because you killed a bunch of horses... it feels great... it's a different kind of great when you see people committing suicide or looting everywhere - chaos is awesome, but this? This is nice too
[[But enough of that now, this is the perfect opportunity to strike!]] the image in the crystal ball vanished into a trail of black smoke inside, making our hero raise his brow-less eyebrow at the pony
"What?! Why would I strike now when everyone is practically there? I mean - yeah, I could use some good old-fashioned carnage but aren't all the Elements there? Wouldn't I be... I don't know - dead for sure now?!"
[[I don't mean THERE silly! And no, not everyone is particularly there]]
The smoke in crystal ball gathered again to form another image, this time of a cute little pink pony hopping around in a forest looking for something. If the crystal ball came with sound he's sure this would be accompanied with cute little music
[[She just won't go away! Ever since the fight she just won't leave the spot, like oh my gosh she's so annoying!]]
"What-this cute little thing? How can she be so annoying?... ... I’m going to kill her aren't I?"
[[Yes! Fun Fact: That's my unchanged self, one of the elements!]]
"Holy shit, that used to be you?" Deadpool took a closer look at the equine "Holy crap, I honestly don't believe you. This one looks a whole lot more cuddly than you" he gazed a little longer until he caught a glimpse evil Pinkie Pie's annoyed face with an eyebrow raised at him ".. What?"
[[Nothing]] He felt like she rolled her non-existent eyes at him [[I only appear to somepony if I want to be seen by them, it's one of the things I can do. There are exceptions of course, but that mare over there can detect my presence a mile away! I don't want to risk being seen by her so I can't grab your things let along your weapons]]
"Whoa... but, why don't you want to be seen by her? can't you kill her yourself or.. something?"
[[Believe me. I tried. In another universe of course. It's just not that easy. I don't know what she's capable of to be honest, like I don't know what I am capable of too]]
"Shit. of all the elements, I didn't imagine the Element of Laughter would be the most unpredictable. I figured all you'd do is make jokes and a ton of pop-culture references"
[[Not exactly wrong, but it's not the Element that's unpredictable - it's the pony wielding it. You see, my 'person' was made as a kind of character that--]]
"No, shut up. I don't want to hear an explanation" he waved both his hands at her, having enough of this shit
[[..Y-You sure? I mean, it might be important to--]]
"No, shut up. I don't want to know about it"
[[But--]]
"Shut up! Just tell me what to do next"
[[Okay! I'm going to bring you two miles away from her and then you grab your--]]
"No. Not doing that either"
[[WHAT?!]]
{{WHAT!?}} the two voices almost responded in unison, of which Deadpool just shrugged his shoulders
"WHAT?"
[[...WHAT?]]
"What?"
{{Okay stop! What do you mean you're not doing it?}}
Deadpool faced to his right as if talking to the evil caption box itself somewhere "You heard her a while ago, she doesn't know what that pony is capable of. I'm not taking any chances to fight another creamy pasta okay? One Hyper Combo Finish is one too many, kapice?"
[[But she's alone! We can end this right now! And she's far away from everypony!]]
"Well, BOOHOO kid. We've done things your way, now we're doing it MY way. Fuck your stealth, it's time for some good old-fashioned Deadpool slaughter" he stood up and did a standing victory pose, his hands on his waist, his head high and his balls moistening, a devilish grin crept on his face as a familiar smoky figure materialize in the air looking menacingly at him with her arms crossed
[[Oh yeah? Maybe you forgot but you're naked and defenseless. How about that? huh?]]
"EASY.. can you bring me to that hut earlier?"
"It is with great sadness that I stand before you all today as we begin this ceremony... It.. has been of great difficulty to all of Ponyville as we mourn the loss of three of our good friends and residents. Three days ago our friends Zecora, Granny Smith and Big Macintosh have all been murdered by a mysterious creature... almost no trace of the monster is found to this day. We-we've all had a hard time accepting these turn of events where we feel like it was still only yesterday where we've shared our laughs and time with these ponies, and how we now wished we valued their company even more so before this... catastrophe happened to our peers"
The Mayor was giving out a written speech for this event, acting like she knew Zecora and Applejack's family. Rainbow Dash knows now is not the time to think of things like that, but she still can't stop thinking about how the Mayor is probably doing this to look good in everypony's eyes.
Look at her. Faking a stammer between her sentences, what a joke. Bet that if this were just a normal funeral the Mayor wouldn't even send her condolences, let alone a speech. This is a huge crowd for a funeral, the entire Apple family is here - the ENTIRE Apple family and they only account maybe a third of the crowd, all of Ponyville is here too since nopony actually die here often and this is practically the first murder in generations, even princesses are even here too with a few guards.
She still can't believe so many things happened in such a short time - while she's asleep even! If only she was awake that time, maybe they could have stopped the monster. Rainbow was standing next to Applejack while Fluttershy was crying next to Rarity all facing the open graves while the Mayor delivers her speech. Twilight was way out back in the crowd next to Princess Celestia. This really is a big crowd...
"Rainbow Dash, where's Pinkie Pie?"
Applejack lost it for days. Rainbow Dash had to tell her family from Appleloosa and someplace else the bad news herself. They weren't sure if they were going to continue running the farm, some of their family will gladly help them if they will since they're not really sure what else to do.
"She won't go. She said she won't leave the place until the monster comes back, y'know?"
For some reason, Pinkie Pie just won't leave that part of the forest. She said the monster is bound to come back to that spot and she's not leaving without seeing it. Applejack and Twilight said that she heard the monster the night Big Mac was killed and all they saw was a lot of blood and gore around the place. Nopony dared to clean the place, and nopony could get Pinkie out of the forest so Rainbow Dash just brought her food from Sugar cube corner every now and then.
"She can't miss the funeral you need to go get her now Dash"
"She said she wouldn't come! You know how it is with Pinkie"
"Sugarcube. Just please get her now, please?"
Applejack lost a lot today, that said she's doing a really good job talking to her calmly like this "Tch.. Alright, I’m going..." for some reason the Mayor decided the funeral should be somewhere near the Hospital and the Train Station, it's going to be Ponyville's Cemetery from now on.
... Why did this all had to happen?... Could somepony have done something?
Rainbow Dash flew overhead past the crowd on her way south, must be her impatience working on herself again - the least she could do was sit through the entire funeral
"Is that Rainbow Dash that just flew past earlier?"
Her voice was very caring and soft, like a very loving mother to her precious filly. Twilight always looked up to her but for different reasons in time.
"... She probably went to get Pinkie, Princess" She first aspired to be the best student she could be to her mentor, always willing to learn new things magic or not, but rarely of those things is the wisdom she feels she need to nurture within herself. Every time she learns a new lesson about friendship she has to send her 'report' to the princess, informing her of her new found lesson... Is that why Princess Celestia gave her that task? To eventually prepare her for... this?
"Twilight. Why haven't you told me of the situation earlier?"
Twilight forced herself to face the Princess. Her voice wasn't stern or condescending, but hearing the Princess ask that made her feel all the more that what happened is her own fault
"I'm sorry princess, I didn't know the extent of the situation. I thought we could have handled it."
"I understand, Twilight. You mentioned earlier about Sunset Shimmer?"
"Yes. Is the portal open during that time? is there a way to tell if Sunset Shimmer has a hand in all this, your majesty?"
"None that I know of. Luna assured me that the portal was closed at that time, it just opened last night though but when Luna visited she told me that everything was fine. Sunset Shimmer actually asked to come visit you but Luna thought it would be better if she just sent her condolences"
"So she has nothing to do with the monster then..." there it is, the last possible explanation she could think of - down the drain.
"Why would you think Sunset Shimmer would have something to do with this, my prized pupil?" the princess leaned towards her and kept her voice low, loud enough for only both of them to hear
"I was only able to get a description of what the monster looked like yesterday when Fluttershy finally came to. From what she said it seemed oddly familiar to the form I took when I entered the other world recently. I was hoping it would have a connection but sadly it does not, and we are all in the dark again"
The princess was obviously surprised at that remark. Only Twilight on all of Equestria has the slightest knowledge of the world beyond the portal - not counting Sunset Shimmer of course
"Actually princess... I may need some more help on this one"
"Pinkie Pie! Come on, we need you at the funeral!"
Rainbow Dash was hovering a good distance from Pinkie Pie below the open space at the forest, only Pinkie Pie can stand the awful smell of rotting flesh that surround all around it
"I don't even know how you can keep hanging around with this smell... I mean, I know you have your thing and all but come on!"
"Rainbow Dash, I'm so glad to see you! But I already told you I can't leave this spot! I just know the monster will come back here to get its things back! and I’m not leaving before I catch it!"
"Things? but there's nothing here Pinkie besides all these... monster innards! Pinkie, the monster probably exploded or something let's just go to the funeral and stop guarding this awful place already!"
"No! The monster couldn't have exploded because I heard it laugh! And there ARE things here, look!" Pinkie Pie grabbed something from... wherever she keeps her things and held out a rusted long saddle-looking... thing
"See this? I've found it not too far from this spot! Nopony wears a saddle bag like this! I've checked inside and you won't believe what's in them!"
"Eww! Pinkie?! You actually touched that with blood still on it?! Are you crazy?!.. wait, of course you are! Pinkie what were you thinking?!"
"I just knew I had to keep it because I’m sure it's from the monster! From how Fluttershy explained what it looked like the monster was definitely carrying something like this! And look what I’ve found inside!"
Pinkie placed the long saddle bag and opened one of the bags and pulled out a large suit too long for a pony to wear
"It's Red! Fluttershy said the monster was wearing red, and check this out-" she dropped the suit to the side and pulled out a smaller red cloth from another saddle "It's a red mask! just like what Fluttershy said the monster was wearing!"
"... Pinkie! why didn't you tell us this before?!"
"I just found them! You have to tell Twilight about this!"
"... Wait, ME? Pinkie! We're BOTH going to Twilight now!"
"NO! I can't leave this spot! Rainbow, the monster might come!"
"Pinkie, just go with me, please! You need to tell Twilight about what you found and you need to be there for your friends. Just grab the saddles and the stuff and let's go!"
"...But.. but I can't go! There might be some other stuff here that the monster might get!"
"...Pinkie...."
Dashie's eyes were pleading. Everypony has been sad around her and she thought if she shed more light on the situation everypony will be slightly happier. Now she has something to shed some light but what if there's more?
"Pinkie, everypony needs you now. Let's go already"
"... Alright Dashie, let's go.."
Okay you monster. I have my eye on you. You won't get away with this.
Pinkie Pie finally for the first time in days ran outside Big Mac's murder scene. Rainbow hovered low but not too low to avoid Pinkie's bad smell as they rush away from Sweet Apple Acres back to Ponyville.
"Geez. I never noticed how bad the barn looked before" Pinkie Pie never saw the damage of the barn in broad daylight since she never went out of the forest when she, Twilight and Applejack stumbled onto it.
"Yeah, it looks bad isn't it? Applejack's gonna need a whole lot of help rebuilding the barn" Blood was still present on the door and barn door was wide open to reveal a dry pool of blood partly illuminated by the sunlight, nopony dared to clean the place yet either.
Poor Zecora... Poor Applejack... poor Applebloom... poor Fluttershy... poor everypony... I promise we'll get the monster one way or another. I Pinkie Promise you all.
[[Finally she left!]]
"I bet if I mix this red bottle with this blue bottle I’ll get an explosion! haha! I’m so smart"
Deadpool poured the bottles on a cauldron and lo and behold and explosive chemical reaction happened complete with a mini mushroom cloud. Deadpool is such an awesome alchemist
"Haha! genius! just genius! all I’ll have to do now is master that evil laugh and I’m good to go. HUEHUEHUEHUE!"
Who would have thought a Zebra voodoo could have so many dangerous chemicals? Deadpool apparently!
"Haha! Oh shit.. I feel like my subconscious is praising me too much again, but well justified it is!"
[[I have good news!]] behind our hero the all too familiar Pinkie the creamy pasta makes her smoking entrance [[The other me finally left the place! and I ha-]]
"-Yeah that's great, awesome, AND I have even BETTER NEWS!" Deadpool turned around to face Pinkie Pie holding a large bottle with a crudely drawn label 'GRENADE' and started with his retard dwarf voice "Deadpool. Makes. Enchaaantments!"
{{It's called Potion}}
"What? NO, it's not poisonous - it explodes!"
[[Wow. So you made a potion from Zecora's stuff huh?]]
"It's not poisonous. And I made some other things by the way check it out"
[[Wow!.. wait, what are those?]]
"Well... THIS one is called--... you know what never mind, I’ll just surprise you later. Now, I need to do a test run of all these stuffs and I am itching to kill a lot of things today, you got a location in mind? hint hint"
[[You mean the funeral? I thought you said--]]
"Of course I didn't mean the funeral! ...dumbass... Maybe another place tight-packed with a lot of ponies to kill? Y'know, like a city or...?"
[[Hmm... I know an ideal place for that! Especially since the princesses are away... plus I even think there'll be a 'BOSS level' for your little test run!]]
"Awesome. I'm giggling with delight over here let's go! come on where are you taking me?" Deadpool strapped on a makeshift belt where several large bottles labeled 'GRENADE' hanged from all over his waist. He also wore two straps diagonally worn on his chest to carry a large weapon on his back while he carries a long object around his hands
[[You sure you're not going to explain to me what those are at least?]]
"I already told you I’ll surprise you later! Not knowing its names are part of that surprise!"
[[Okie dokie lokie!]]
Deadpool's vision was suddenly surrounded by darkness, as he... ah, you get the drill, you know what happens when the devil teleports him.
"We-he-hell! This place is perfect!"
Several ponies in the street all fixed their attention to the naked mercenary. All those straps he made and he didn't bother to make a makeshift underwear you ask? Well try having your balls dangling in the wind for hours and tell me that doesn't feel good. Not sure if the ponies are looking in horror at either his gear or his junk but either way his testosterone is feeling really high.
"Everybody say-HEEEEEY!"
Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Chapter 6: Knee-Deep in their Dead
Chapter 6: Knee-Deep in their Dead
"Your tea and condiments, my good sir and lady"
The waiter gallantly served the sophisticated stallion and mare their tea and desserts at their table generously located near the edge of the cafe. Head up high, the servant trot with poise to the next table whose occupants admired with gleeful delight the presence of the most important pony in the world.
The white stallion sent his compliments to the cafe "Magnificent service, as always" using his magic, he lifted the tea cup as he begins to bask in the soft gorgeous scent of jasmine blossoms. Taking a sip to savor the soothing and divine taste of the heavenly drink, he placed the tea cup back to its mat and felt his soul expand
"Ah, the Numi Money King Jasmine Tea. Never had I spent 70 bits and felt more serene. The tea is simply lovely, there's no other word to describe it!"
"Only the best for the most important pony in the world, Fancy" the shapely blush-pink mare flattered the stallion as she gracefully sip hers "And yes, I most enjoy this selection. It does wonders to keep my figure"
"By the way dear Fleur, how was your photo shoot with that peculiar mare.. Photo Finish, was it?"
"Tolerable. But some of her designs do not fully complement my graceful figure" she did a pose as if a camera pony was nearby, eager to have her good side captured... which is of course every side of her figure
"Complement your graceful figure, you say?" Fancy Pants took another sip of his wonderful tea, ignoring the other ponies around them mimicking his poise "She once worked with a successful model once, got everyone hooked to her design - and the model herself"
"You mean Fluttershy?" Fleur tried to hide her disdain from just mentioning the name of the dreaded mare that momentarily took the spotlight from her once "I still don't see how that mare can possibly outshine me, surely there's no grace and figure that can possibly outshine mine" she rested her head to her hooves as she gave a seductive gaze at nothing, generously giving everypony a good view of her beauty
"I'd rather not converse about her like that if I were you. You do know she was nearly murdered days ago"
"What?" she stopped her gaze and fully flung her attention to Fancy "She was? Oh how horrid.."
".. I say, you really do not know?" Fancy shook his head, seemingly not quite used to Fleur's short attention span despite having her as his company for very long now "A monster that as of this moment has not been caught, killed all her pets and almost Fluttershy herself. Really Fleur, everypony knows what happened! The princesses themselves are attending the funeral as we speak"
"My goodness... I haven't noticed..."
"You never notice anything, darling" he gave her an understanding smile, not judging her for her lack of interest on virtually anything but herself "It also happens that our good friend Rarity is very close to Fluttershy herself. I sent my condolences through her for the poor pony, but of course we simply cannot attend the funeral since we are, as always, very busy" Fancy took another sip at his tea, which became inexplicably colder to his taste
"... I... I don't remember meeting Rarity lately"
"My dear, of course you don't" he smiled at her rather kindly again "You simply have your head high in the clouds that day, as always of course"
Fleur felt her cheeks redden and bowed her head from him, embarrassed at herself - something that happens so rarely to her. Being always confident of oneself all the time is a routine when you're a glamorous super model
"Fancy my dear, you always go around and point the worse in me" she faced the dashing gent, her face a bit tilted to her side and her eyes seductively half-closed she was giving him a cute stare, complementing her facial features
He softly chuckled at her display "Why Fleur, you can rest assure that nopony is perfect - and of course, that you stand out from those ponies indeed"
She just continued to give him her look, unfazed by the double meaning of his words. He was going to continue until he caught sight of a large puff of black smoke from across the street. Instantaneously a large creature standing on its hind legs appeared within the fog, gaining the attention of the nearby ponies around it.
"... I say..."
The creature looked hideous. Even from this distance he can tell the creature was wearing something red on what seems to be its head with nothing else covering its scarred fleshy body. It was carrying something on its claws with some bottles strapped somewhere above its legs and carrying something like a saddlebag
"... What in Equestria is that?"
"Oh Fancy, you always were the charmer"
The creature roared something... for some reason he thought he heard it speak common. He wonders what this creature is called and how come he never saw something like it before.
"...Hmm? You look like you've seen a ghost... oh my goodness, is there something on my face?"
Something flashed from that spot accompanied with a loud sound of explosion. The sound faded as soon as the flash of light from the spot with a nearby pony stumbling to the ground revealing... several large wounds... from it.
The sound caught the attention of everypony near the street, but for some reason the ponies in the cafe is completely oblivious of the scene from there, even Fleur as she hold up a mirror using her magic while inspecting her face
Fancy Pants couldn't take his eyes from the creature. Another explosion happened with another nearby pony wounded from the spot, its blood littered the store and floor. From what he could tell, the nearby ponies are already panicking at such magic running to and fro. Finally the ponies at the cafe took notice of the incident and began to shift their attention to the screaming ponies.. all except for Fleur, still scouring her reflection on the mirror
"Everybody say HEEEY!!" despite the distance, Fancy pants heard the monster's scream almost clearly. It really did speak common! .. but what did it meant?
Everypony in the cafe knew they were in immediate danger and began to leave their seats as soon as the monster faced the cafe. Except for Fleur still occupied with her mirror and Fancy himself too stunned while studying the creature, everypony began to panic as the bipedal hurl one of the bottles hanging from it at their direction
A fiery blast of light blinded him as it somehow numb his other senses, all he could feel was a high pitched ringing penetrating as he feel his flesh peel from the light. He almost heard Fleur scream in shock all but for a short time, lost forever. The last thing he only held on to was the thought of what this creature could be... and what could be happening at the mind of such a monster, without any remorse of its morbid actions.
"Tenenen-tenen-tenen-tenen-tenenen--tenenen-tenen-tenen-teneeeen!♪♪..."
"...Tenenen-tenen-tenen-tenen-tenenen--tenenen-tenen-tenen-TEEEN! ♪♪"
Deadpool doesn't remember the last time he actually had fun like this. There's a certain knack you get when killing random people (or in this case, ponies) that isn't really necessary to the mission at hand - helps alleviate stress a lot. It's amazing how killing can help you in many ways without any of that lame guilt being in the way.
"Ho-Holy shit! Oh my god, this is so freaking awesome! HAHAHAHA!"
Ah, the sound of screaming people everywhere... well, ponies... damn, this cruelty to animals will definitely smear his chances to score some supermodel chicks, probably all of them are an advocate for PETA or something. Still, nothing feels more empowering than killing random innocents as they flee in terror at your bloodlust and/or the sight of your hideous body
Walking through the street he picked off the slower moving ponies as they flee from his Deadpool wrath - oh yeah! They all look pretty ridiculous though, almost all of them are wearing fancy clothing normally everywhere from glittery gowns to freaking tuxedos... what is this, National Geographic: Prom Night edition?
"Yahtzee!" He threw a grenade bottle hooked from his waist to a store that's probably a flower shop from by the looks of it across the blown up fine-dining restaurant sending out a lot of lower debris and a few pony parts
That was fun to watch. Deadpool checked his waist to see how many bottles he has left. Eight bottles left strapped around where his pockets used to be when his costume haven't blown up yet... Okay! remembering that encounter pissed him off again, but he IS here to relieve himself from a lot of frustration and stress though.
A whole lot of motherfucking frustration and stress.
He heard the voice of a woman crying inside the shop (which blew up and is on fire of course, thanks to Deadpool's stock knowledge from the Anarchist Cookbook), a light yellow pony with rosy red mane crawled out from the fumes, its stomach and half of its face bloody as it drag itself on the ground. He cocked his DIY shotgun as he aim the weapon at the limping pony. Hehe, 'cocked'... Catching his attention, the pony frantically tried to stand and run away from him but its efforts would be for naught as Deadpool blast of its head from the short distance, its brain littering the side of the ground.
Medium ranged shotgun - fuck yeah! You never really truly appreciate the wonder of guns unless you made one yourself and killed something with it - like a real man! He'd like to see the current iPhone generation kids do that. Remember kids - Real men make and kill with their own fire arms! just ask Teddy Roosevelt.
"Halt! Stand fast, you monster!"
Deadpool turned to his back to face the several large horses in shiny gold armor. "Oh look - the cavalry finally came. Seems I’m about to get knee-deep in the dead here"
There was panic somewhere in the streets. Several ponies alerted the guards to a mad creature using mysterious magic to kill everypony at the financial district of Canterlot. Flash Sentry, a new recruit to the royal guard was usually at his shift patrolling the castle but his senior officer sent him and two other experienced guards to the scene.
Leaving the castle, they ran into a large crowd of ponies fleeing from where the suppose monster was killing everypony. Flash, along with the other guards can see a trail of smoke from somewhere. From the screams of everypony else the monster seemed to have used its peculiar magic to set fire onto several businesses.
"Okay, the creature is definitely hostile. Remember your training Flash, don't lose focus" he whispered to himself, remembering his duty to preserve the peace and uphold order. Secretly he has been waiting for a time like this his entire life, now he can finally prove himself to everypony including himself how much he is capable of
"From the looks of it, this monster seems to be very capable. Remember, our orders are to distract it long enough for Unicorn Team to arrive. We don't want to attract more trouble than we have to" the beige earth pony reminded the two other stallions of their objective given to them by their commanding officer as they rush toward their mission
"What about Pegasus Team? How come we're the one tasked with distracting whatever the thing is and not them?" the white stallion remarked, seemingly defiant of the wisdom of their orders
"I don't know, but orders are orders"
The three royal guards finally caught up with a peculiar figure down the street, it was carrying something large and using its magic they saw it kill somepony at the flower shop
"Halt! Stand fast, you monster!" the beige stallion commanded to the creature as it turn to them in response. It was hideous to look at, blood covered its hideous coat as it somehow give a subtle smile at them. Flash almost lost his composure just by looking at it, but he had to stay focused. He had to stick to his training. He had to prove himself
"Oh look - the cavalry finally came. Seems I’m about to get knee-deep in the dead here" the monster spoke in a chilling voice. Flash can feel the creature's bloodlust as its grin impales him while blood caked all over its body, he instantly felt cold all over and his hooves involuntarily twitched. This creature made him fear for his life.
Three of the horses charged straight to him as he cock another... pfft... bullet to his shotgun and fire at the one in the middle with a headshot, immediately killing it. Blood from the awesome kill splattered at the two other horses but were unfazed by it all, not even delaying their tracks as they continue their charge at Deadpool. With literally killer instincts, he anticipated their charge and parried the impending blow of the armored horse on his right - grabbing hold of its neck in mid-dodge and mounted on its back - almost all in slow motion even.
"It's on me! The monster is on me!" Flash tried his best to shake the monster off his back, only his training made him resist the urge to run away from this monster as soon as it killed the white stallion whose name he didn't even remember. He hasn't even lasted a month in service but now he had to experience all this. Half panicking he shook his back while the monster tightly clutched his neck, its weapon between its claws he roared fearing more for his life than the mission at hand.
Expertly cocking his shotgun... my god, why do they call it cocking?... while keeping his momentum on the raging stallion, he pointed the gun gripping it with only his right hand and fired at the other confused stallion straight to the head. The recoil of the blast almost made him lose his handle on the trashing mount, somehow unfazed by the death of its buddies. These things were ready to die. He leaped from his ride to avoid the risk of his grenade bottles detonating, somersaulting away from the rodeo-trained stallion.
Flash Sentry felt that the monster finally let go, but he felt too hazy to notice where. Sweat streaming under his coat, his heart pounding madly he darted his eyes wildly at every direction. His bearing lost, his body cold, an uneasy twitching present in his body all made it a lot less easy to the new recruit. He didn't signed up for this sort of danger, or at least he didn't think he did. He definitely never anticipated he would be swept to a carnage like this. Seeing all the dead bodies of everypony in that street alone is enough to take its toll on anypony
The monster was nowhere in sight. Did it disappear? How... what is going on? Turning around again, he saw no presence of the monster except for the mindless slaughter it left in its wake, surrounding the royal guard. Several ponies killed in the middle of the street, the bloody mare from the flower shop earlier littering the sidewalk. A dismembered hoof lay nearby the burning cafe, a mass number of dead evidently inside it. How could the monster do so much damage in such a short time? As he ponders on his last thought, he instinctively turned back to the castle to report back on his commanding officer as a blue bottle lunge at him in mid-air...
Exploding on contact, the bottle hit the stallion around the face, splitting away chunks of flesh and blood. An eye from its head sling-shot from its socket as it fall unresponsive to the ground, its blue mane singed and its helmet somehow still intact.
"Would you look at that... You know, I’m sure somewhere out there, Michael Bay is having an erection... or maybe James Wan."
"Fire!"
Deadpool turned to the direction of the voice to see several unicorns on the roof of a building nearby firing some sort of magic spells at him. They almost look like some sort of plasma... laser beams or whatever, but sure feel like it when one hit him at his right shoulder. He raced away from the barrage of beams, narrowly avoiding the laser spells
"He's somehow resistant to destructive magic! Keep firing!" he heard one of the stallions shout to the other, which must be their commanding officer or something.
"Fucking Cacodemons!" still in evasive action, Deadpool turned and faced his attackers as he return fire with his shotgun
"Die Cacodemons! DIE!!"
The shots seem to be hitting the stallions but not to a fatal effect. his scatter shot doesn't work well in long distances. Enduring the blows from the unicorns' magic hitting him everywhere on his upper body, he sidestepped to another direction as he throw another grenade at their direction exploding nearly a short distance from their footing, crumbling the building and sending them down to the ground below. For good measure, he threw several grenades at them making sure they're all brutally dead.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WOULDN'T it be NICE, if WE were OLDER - THEN we wouldn't HAVE to wait so LOOOOONG!!♪♪"
Deadpool seemed to have thrown a third grenade as he laugh maniacally while several incinerated equine body parts and internal organs scatter from the explosions.
"AHAHAHA!! The happy times currently I've been spending. 'Wish that every kill was NEEEEEEVER ENNDIIIIING!♪♪ HA!"
Deadpool almost didn't feel his body regenerate from the laser blasts as he laughs with child-like glee while enjoying the senseless slaughter. Like a sadistic youth with his handy magnifying glass, needlessly setting fire to an innocent enough colony of ants.
Holy shit. What is with all the similes he's been making lately? With all the comparisons he made since landing in this universe he probably have enough to fill half a season of Family Guy. Deadpool calmed down after dispatching the unibeam, seeing as that the place seem to have a fairly moderate defense he felt that he should take this time to gear himself up before continuing the slaughter
Okay. Inventory check. Only three grenades left. And around three-fourths of his shotgun ammo left. Part of him feels like packing up and go home since this is enough of a test run of his new equipment but another part of him feels like fucking up more shit and have more fun.
"Well I still have to test the big gun. Don't want to forget this baby" he gave a pat to the large weapon strapped around his back "After all, ironically this is the easiest one to assemble back at the tree house. I still can't believe how many dangerous chemicals a voodoo can have! AND a substitute for gunpowder, even!"
{{You've had your fun now. Now we need to get out of here before the elements come}}
"Always with the element talk with you, can we not worry about the elements for.. at least a while?"
{{No. We CAN'T}}
"Pfft. The elements won't come yet! Stop sounding like my mother for a while and enjoy the mindless killing, will ya?" he loaded his makeshift shotgun with more of his diminishing ammo and continued walking through the streets
{{Listen Deadpool. You are attracting a HELL lot of FUCKING attention}}
"Stealth was never my forte"
{{IF the elements come here, we're under-prepared for that encounter. You don't have your swords, your guns--}}
"In case you've been sleeping for the last few hours, I made several grenades, a working DIY SHOTGUN, and this big fucking gun."
"First off. I need a weapon"
Deadpool stood hands on his waist at the entrance of the voodoo tree house he got the map from earlier deep within the recesses of the forest where he met the zebra. He knew as soon as he first visited this place that there are tons of voodoo stuffs here that will definitely be useful for making non-voodoo stuffs too. maybe. probably.
{{What made you think you'll find a good weapon here? Don't tell me you're going to kill everything with a spear}}
"Not a bad suggestion. But no. We're not looking for a weapon, we're going to make one here!" he raised his hands to the air, his victory shout faded to the dark empty room seemingly untouched even after the death of its owner
{{...What?}}
"Really? if you're in my head, how come you can't even anticipate what I’m thinking?"
{{Your big fucking gun won't do us squat if the all the elements show up RIGHT NOW!}}
"Would you fucking relax? They're all very busy crying their hearts out at the funeral now, and didn't Pinkie tell us the princesses are right there with them? It's not like news will reach them that fast" Deadpool looked over at the distance to see several flying armored horses rushing from the city to... somewhere "Oh crap. I didn't know some of the horses fly"
{{Great. Those guards are definitely going to send news to the elements about this massacre. Good job, genius. WELL DONE}}
"Hey hey hey! Don't forget the big fucking gun!" He started to unlatch the big fucking gun from his back but a distant sound of something twinkling in the sky somewhere caught his attention
"What the fuck?" he stopped to listen to the seemingly out of place tune of some fairy sparkling sound effect somewhere near and approaching, turning to several directions he finally caught sight of the supposed allegory for homosexuality. A large serpent like creature was... gliding or twitching in the air or whatever as it approaches our hero, an eyebrow raised at whatever the fuck this thing is
The large serpent like creature landed with a loud thud in front of Deadpool, the creature looks a lot like a large Chinese dragon around maybe 9 to 11 feet tall... or maybe a Chinese knock-off of a 'Chinese Dragon 'around maybe 9 to 11 feet tall. This thing looks like it born form the mind of a Greek mythologist. on crack. Its head was a goat with an antler and a horn, a claw of a chicken and a lion, a leg of a bull and a... dinosaur? and a tail of... well, a dragon. Pretty sure an imprint of 'made in china' is around it somewhere, Deadpool just can't see it from where he's standing
"Well now. Of all my years on this plane of existence I've never seen a hideous creature like you before" The Chinese take-out dragon kind of spat an inquisitive tone at him, it's yellowish sick eyes narrowed with his brows
"Look who's talking. What the fuck are you?"
"I.. the 'fuck' am Discord" it drew its lion claw to its chest, introducing itself "the spirit of Chaos, and Disharmony. And you" it then pointed its claw at him "are stealing my thunder" its claw reached to Deadpool and pulled a static lightning shaped... cartoon effect from somewhere in Deadpool like that coin magic trick magicians always do "I'll have that back now, thank you"
"...Okay. I-"
"Is what I would say normally. But I’m a reformed draconequus now and I keep the chaos to a down low these days, especially since my friends got nearly murdered "
The pirated dragon encircled Deadpool, and slithered in front of him "I'm not one to judge, but you seem awfully familiar"
Glad to see the ponyslaughter didn't tip him off "I don't remember meeting a Class C Chinese dragon like you before. But given the cast of characters I've stumbled into so far, I don't think anything's going to surprise me"
"Speaking of surprise - I was taking a good morning's sleep at my quarters when all of a sudden, somepony reported to the guards a mass killing in progress at the financial district. Nopony's ever killed anyone in generations even during my rule let alone here in the capital of Equestria"
The capital of...? Oh Pinkie, you bitch
"I was woken up because the guards couldn't handle it. So imagine my surprise when I got here to see a creature that somehow resemble my friends' description of the supposed monster that almost killed some ponies in the last few days. A tall zombie-pony like creature wearing red... the murderer was never caught BUT it left behind a lot of ripped red cloth behind"
"My condolence to your friends. Really, I should have tried to kill them harder"
"You heartless fiend" the dragon stood tall in front of him, the tone of its voice descended "of course, you were the cause of all this killing in the city too I suppose? Does a monster like you have a name or something?"
"Sure. I... the fuck am Deadpool" he aimed and cocked his shotgun at the creature "The spirit of BAD-ASS, and DISMEMBERMENT!" Hehe. Cocked.
He pulls the trigger, excited to empty his pump action shotgun at the beast as he was accompanied with the sound of squeaking rubber.
He pulls it the trigger again only to hear the sound of something like a squeaky toy
"What the hell?" Deadpool looked down at his shotgun only to see a balloon shaped pony in its place "WHAT THE HELL?"
"I knew that was important. Maybe that thing was magic perhaps?"
Deadpool looked up at the dragon giving him a smug, the kind that douchebags wear on their face all the time "You bastard! That thing was more than magic to me! Do you even know how hard it is to make a shotgun?!"
"Hmm... this black powder thing seems to be a good substitute for gunpowder" he held up a large bottle filled to the brim with powder stacked inside a cupboard "It's going to be a bit complicated making the mechanics, but I think I actually have all the parts in this tree house!"
{{... How... are you going to make a shotgun out of... that and wood?}}
"Hey - To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk. And I have a good imagination, my right hand would vouch for me if it could"
"... What the fuck did you do to my shotgun?!"
"Isn't it obvious?" the dragon pointed its claw to the balloon pony at his hand "I turned it into that! I'm the spirit of Chaos you fool... with just a snap and a zap --"
The creature snapped its... claw fingers?... as a steel cage magically appear, imprisoning Deadpool "Any other chaos wouldn't last.."
"... Ohhh shit" Well, he's in trouble now. Deadpool held the bars. Yup, genuine steel cage "Hey, are you like that rhyming zebra I killed earlier? Because hearing you rhyme would be fun"
"Oh shut up" using his magic, Discord lifted the cage up with the monster's claws still clutched to the bars "I'm keeping you locked up until the princesses arrive. I'll let them figure out how to deal with an inconvenience like you"
"Ha! Trust me, you don't want to keep me alive" the monster retorts back with a dark tone, it angered Discord even more
"Oh, I DON'T want to keep you alive! I maybe the spirit of Chaos, but I never did anything like what YOU are doing. You think this mindless killing is fun?"
"Of course I do. I expect the... Spirit of Chaos, and Disharmony would understand!"
"I'll tell you what's fun --" Discord directed a full scowl at the hooligan "FUN, is making things out of proportion without regret. The kind of Chaos that gives rabbits hideously long legs, cotton candy clouds rain chocolate, and maybe even hypnotizing everypony"
"You mean taking crack?"
"Having the ponies killed - or outright killing them is out of the equation! There's value in life, it's what messing them up even more fun! Take that away, nobody haves fun "
"I beg to disagree"
"Oh?" Discord leaned his head forward to the cage suspended in mid-air by his magic "do you now?"
"Yeah. Take this for example--"
Immediately the monster inside threw something at him. With little time to react, the thrown object detonated at him with such a strange magic burning his face off. "AAAAAAAHHH!!!" He screamed as he feels his face tear itself apart from the blast, shifting his attention he lost his focus on his magic leaving the cage plummeting to the ground.
The pain made him shake his head side by side, hoping the dreaded sensation would subside. After what seemed like enough time, Discord tried his best to ignore the pain as he check on his prisoner. The cage lay on its side at the ground nearby, with the bars seemingly... melted. The monster must have escaped while he was in pain!
"You see?" Discord turned to the voice behind him. The monster stood in a defiant way, its face occupied with an evil grin "Now THAT... was fun"
Discord underestimated this monster. Without a second thought he decided to fly away from the monster, he knew he was unprepared and this monster was unpredictable.
"Oh... forgive me, Celestia" raising his disproportionate wings, he took to the sky fearing for his life. His face still searing, his dignity tarnished, he flew as fast as he could to the castle hoping that he would find a way to stop the monster and that the princesses would arrive soon to help even when he knew he has more power than the princesses.
... But does he?... or the very least, surely he can take on this creature?
... Right?
"Hey-HEY-HEEEYY! COME BACK!" Deadpool wanted to stop the dragon but he was too late. The dragon flew too fast for him to even continue "Aw maaan..."
He looked at the balloon pony-that used to be his DIY shotgun, dumped at the ground "Aww maaan... my hard work.."
He picked up the balloon, his brows met as he glaze over his former love. He heaved a sigh as he fail to let go of the frustration of seeing his work all for naught
"Shit... FUCK THAT DRAGON ASSHOLE!.... hold on, that didn't sound right... -- Oh well, now I have to chase it"
{{Chase? No. You're not chasing it down}}
"Yes I am"
{{NO. YOU'RE NOT}}
"Hey! I waited for more than a month for this chapter alright? I'm doing whatever I want!"
{{What could you possibly do? Your shotgun is gone, the Elements are coming - * I'm FUCKING getting tired of you not listening to me!!*}}
Deadpool suddenly remembered how soul-imposing his evil voice sounds. He either got used to it, or this time the evil voice is really pissed off
{{WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT DOING WHAT I SAY?! ARE YOU STILL EVEN DOING OUR MISSION?!?!}}
"Heyyyy... o-of course I am!" Deadpool shook his hands at no one, as if the voice would calm down at that
{{Then * WHY?!*}}
"He-Heyy!... dude, the point of this whole massacre was to let off some steam!... relax, bro!"
Deadpool, not sure if he calmed down his pissed of consciousness looked over at the castle nearby and saw a silhouette of what must be the dragon earlier fly towards it "Look, I’ll do you a favor - we'll kill that dragon just for you, what do you say?"
{{Do me a favor and FUCKING GO ACCORDING TO PLAN!}}
"This IS according to plan!... Don't you get it? We're not just killing every animal here..."
He unlatched the big weapon on his back again and copped a feel... whoa, that didn't sound right either.
"We're shooting through and introducing ourselves, knee-deep in their dead"
{{So, you're breaking their morale huh?}}
"Of course"
Deadpool finally caught the scent of fresh blood, dead animal bodies, and the very faint sound of screaming ponies everywhere. With the big weapon on his hands, he started on his way to the castle.
{{I take it back. You actually know what you're doing}}
Oh you bet.
View Online
Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Chapter 7: The End and Beginning of Disharmony
Chapter 7: The End and Beginning of Disharmony
Discord hovered through the marble-stone archway of the main hall's double doors, his paw clenching on half of his burned face ever since his foray into the streets moments ago. He ended his flight at the regal red carpet stretched across the long hallway facing Celestia's throne as the stained glass windows give the path a shimmer while the floor muffle out every hoof and foot step of the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony
The Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony.
What used to be a badge of merit he would freely flaunt to anypony foolish enough to listen is now, what he realize, but a shadow of his former self. Bearing such a title would even more so be an affront to him now after living through what he now knows is the true spirit of Chaos and Disharmony: These past few days.
He kept his pace at the red carpet floor on his way to the iconic pedestal at the far end of the hallway passing through shimmers from the beautiful stained glass windows, light separated by gaps between the columns lined parallel to the wide hallway. This hall has been the center of many occasions, ironic considering that this is Celestia's throne room, supposedly the most secure and hallmarked place here in Canterlot. This is where he first met the Elements of Harmony when he was first freed from his stone-form imprisonment, the center where Chrysalis tried to invade Canterlot with her changeling army, and just recently where Twilight Sparkle officially broke the news of the first murders in Equestria since generations to the princesses, and him.
"Heeeeey Discoord!! Where you at?"
He turned to the direction of the monster's echo from the open frame of the doors where he came in. With a snap of his fingers the doors shut themselves with a loud thud and a large steel lock materialized between its handles. The noise still reverbing in the corridor, the beast following him would no doubt be alert of where Discord is hiding, but that's what he wants to happen
"Goodness Celestia, what's taking so long?" he whispered to himself as he back away from the sealed doors. From what he has witnessed of this murderer, he knew it wouldn't take long before it finds a way to him.
He needs all the time he can get.
He continue to pace toward the regal pedestal troubled as crucial time pass enough for the monster to follow, his gaze on the throne elevated atop the pulpit. Everypony else might argue why of all places - Celestia's Throne Room - is where Discord would lure this 'Deadpool' to. Why choose the very icon of Canterlot Castle for this monster to ravage?
He squints as a beam of light momentarily blind him, turning to its direction he studied the glass beautifully illuminated by the sun, its rays unjustly raining on his unworthy chaotic form. He approached the window wonderfully detailed with the image of The Elements of Harmony placed atop surrounded with their respective wielders studded with light. Below The Elements, the white mare between the farmer pony and the pink mare stood, their heads lifted up in attention to the two pegasi in flight, the image of the lavender equine levitating atop all them, everypony connected through three sets of halos signifying harmony.
This was the prophecy of the Elements. The one that foretold the eventual wielders of this world's strongest force and last resort to restore peace and balance. It's what turned him to stone, restored Luna to her form, turned him to stone again, stopped King Sombra, and it is what will stop... 'Deadpool'
He gazed on Twilight Sparkle's image, intrigued by how the Element of Magic was specifically placed above the two pegasi. Did this prophesied the eventual ascension of Twilight into royalty also? He scoffed as he remembered the day he danced on top of her head when he displaced his body onto the fragile arts of this hall. Nearing the window, he was caught by something even more fascinating as another beam of light flash before him.
The Element of Kindness with her head high and her hooves raised in admiration to the unicorn above her. Discord lifted his paw, reaching out to the very spot where light seem to escape from the window... interestingly placed at, and illuminating the light yellow pegasus herself.
"Discord? My.. what... what brings you here?"
He stood at the door held open by the white unicorn's magic, her expression surprised by his visit. Maybe too surprised.
"Hello there Rarity... I was told Fluttershy is staying here?"
The unicorn blinked for a couple of times and shifted her eyes around him, wary as if Discord was here to stir trouble, which is of course understandable, but surprisingly not the case. "I ah... yes... yes, she is staying here in the meantime after... everything that had happened"
She shuffled her hoof, mistrustful of the draconequus that stood before her, his reason largely uncharted to her. Her expression leery and her tone quizzical "You are... here to check on her?"
"Yes I am. Is it alright to come in?"
"... I... suppose it is" She stepped away from the door, motioning him an uncertain welcome "She's upstairs in my room. Follow me"
Discord followed Rarity as he simultaneously step his hoof and foot inside her abode. He had hoped that by now everypony would be less tense around him. Then again, for someone who lived a meaningless life for what feels like eternity, hope was never on his side
Except once.
"I'm rather surprised you bothered to use the door, Discord"
She's right. He could have just whisked himself inside the house for all he cares. It would have made things a lot easier for both of them. There really is no reason why he can't do that.
"I figured that'd be appropriate considering the circumstances"
Yes. No reason.
The white unicorn slowly opened her room door as if it was the most fragile part of her home. Fluttershy sat forlorn at Rarity's carpet in total contrast to the lavish symmetry of the room, her back turned to them as her gazed kept fixed outside the window next to the mannequins and the work table.
"She hasn’t said a word ever since she woke up this morning" Rarity kept her voice soft, careful not to disturb Fluttershy not that it seems like she could "Refuses to eat anything too, she has me worried all day... She and Applejack haven't taken things very well, I personally can't tell which of them is more aghast"
"How about her cottage? Will she be staying back there?"
"Oh dear, no, I wish it not. It's not right for her to stay in that dreadful place. I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind if she stays here with us. For the meantime, I'll have to convince her to have her cottage demolished soon. Bad memories should be left where they are you see"
Bad memories. Discord's not really sure he knows how to handle such things. You'd think living for as long as he is would make you wise enough to know how, but no. And like everypony else, he doesn't like dealing with them. Perhaps his 'unorthodox' ways and acts were how he deals with them, or perhaps that's because he's bored. Or maybe, that's how he avoids them
"Let me talk to her first. I'll tell her you are here" She walked away from the door and approached the pegasus with care. Her head lowered and spoke something to Fluttershy cautiously. She didn't seem like it but Fluttershy subtly gave a nod at which Rarity nodded back in acknowledgement. The unicorn turned back to Discord, her gait as slow as she approached Fluttershy. "Do be gentle with her, please Discord"
He nodded back as Rarity went her way downstairs leaving them both alone in her beautifully adorned yet lifeless room. Fluttershy still leaned limply facing away at the window, her body completely still, undisturbed by their intrusion.
"Um. Hello Fluttershy! It's me, Discord!"
His attempt to ease her went unnoticed. She sat unmoved, silently gazing outside the window. He rubbed his arm. he was never good at comforting anypony... he never had to. There never really was a friend for him to comfort.
He slithered away to her side, facing her with mildly comforting eyes "Hey... Fluttershy! It's me... just wanted to see how you're doing"
Her eyes kept fixed outside the window with her face completely still. Discord glanced outside the window and saw a solitary tree standing in full view, its lush leaves swept briskly against the cool wind outside. "That's a wonderful tree outside, right?" he turned back to her. Still no reaction. Just her sad eyes kept focused on that one tree outside without even blinking.
He slumped beside her, annoyed at himself. Lost on how he could cheer her up no matter how little. He exhaled a quick sigh and stared back at the tree, thinking of what to do
The sound of the doors being bashed set Discord back to the present. Attention shifted at the giant lock bouncing against the doors, trying its best to not give way. Confident taunts savagely echoed behind the doors
"Let's make this quicker and easier for everyone and just open the door to me, alright? I got a quota to catch up with!"
The lock is not enough to block Deadpool as the door unevenly struggle through the barricade by the bashing. the other door began to chip away with every force the monster rams at its bridge.
"Are you sure about this decision, Twilight?"
"No, but Sunset Shimmer must know something that will help in this situation. Fluttershy and Applejack saw the creature with their own eyes and that's all the confirmation I need. I'm certain that this creature is from, or in a world similar to her.. home. Her knowledge of her world's resources and magic will definitely fill a lot of blanks, like how those trees were cut down but not even singed, and how the monster could transport itself very quick if not immediately to long distances"
The ruler of Equestria pondered for a moment, uncertain if she would let her pupil go. There is a yet mysterious threat possibly roaming still in Equestria and as far as she's concerned, proven itself to be intelligent.
It tried to attack the most powerful line of defense they all have. This monster is most likely trying to break this defense to destabilize Equestria... but for what cause? In the last few nights, Celestia with all her intuition could not conjure an explanation of why and who would dare bring harm to the elements. The fact that they have an unknown enemy, and a potentially able mediator is a dreadful thought.
"Please Princess, from what you told me earlier the portal will only stay open until tonight. I'll be very quick, I won't stay for a second longer than necessary, please"
"... I suppose there is little harm in sending you back to the portal. Okay Twilight, as soon as the funeral is over you may visit the other world again"
The young alicorn gave a sigh of relief and an assuring nod to the ruler in stark contrast to the townspeople and everypony else's unhappy demeanor. Some are listening to the mayor's speech while some are gazing to the ground contemplating about the events of the past few days. Strangely, Celestia felt that out of all those ponies, she is the one most concerned about them, the future, and Equestria.
Very strange indeed.
She could not stop thinking about it. It worries her so much that she's actually concerned about the whole of Equestria. Hopefully, if Twilight finds out more about the situation things will be a lot less worrying to her. Hopefully.
Deep in her thoughts, her luminous mane swayed along as she lightly move her head from side to side, berating herself for her constant worrying. After all, there is no cause to worry about something that might not happen, correct?
What's the worst that could happen?
Celestia's gaze kept at the brown mare near the three six-hoof deep graves, brushing her silver mane as her speech end. The sound of clopping hooves entered in soft applause while the mayor motioned for the stallions at bay to finally lower the coffins. They began on the sarcophagus on the left, interestingly the one that housed the first victim. The unicorns lifted her coffin with their magic on the the deep hole beside it, two other stallions shovel in hoof waited for its descent.
They looked very simple. The bland woodwork did not do justice to these lives whose mortal coil will forever retreat to the earth, more so the stone slabs that will be erected above their graves. They were too simple... they were... depressing.
As the unicorns begin to lift the second woodwork, a glint above the soulless horizon took Celestia's attention. Her gaze slipped to light reflecting from several armored pegasi above the air, plainly exhausted, flying towards the funeral. As the princess study the sight further, soon everypony else of the crowd became distracted and gave way to the formation of pegasi soldiers flying towards and landing before the ruler of Equestria herself.
"Princess Celestia! We flew here as fast as we could!" the guard took a deep breath as his companions gasp for air, all of them looked more terrified than simply recuperating "We came to report to you that Canterlot is under attack!"
Murmurs began to sweep across the crowd, nervous looks passed to and fro as the princess enquire of more "Did you flew all the way here?"
"Yes, your highness. Apologies, we don't know how to reach you otherwise"
"WHAT MANNER OF ATTACK IS THE CASTLE UNDER?" the murmurs across the crowd amplified as Luna with her characteristically loud tone interrupted.
"A monster is attacking the city with strange magic, your highness! Many ponies are dead and panic is everywhere" The crowd's undertone loudened even more as Celestia concerned herself about why the unicorn team didn't just use their magic to blink them all here
"WHAT DOES THE MONSTER LOOK LIKE?"
The guard thought for a while "Well - uh - it was tall, standing on its hind legs-"
"-it didn't have any fur - and it's skin was scarred all over and ugly!" one of the guards added
"Yes! and it was making magic with something long that it was carrying!"
Several of the guards nodded wild child-like acknowledgement. Celestia turned to her star pupil creeping up on the conversation, Twilight's eyes magnified and mouth agape in disbelief. The ruler turned back to the guards "Are you sure you have seen the monster clearly?"
"Yes. We were told to report to you the danger as soon as we identify the monster"
"All of you?"
The guard turned to the rest of his team and lowered his head "Well.. most of the stallions here fled from the monster and joined us. Apologies, your highness. The carnage was... very overwhelming"
"I understand" Princess Celestia turned to Twilight and the rest of the loudly mumbling crowd, she assert to them fairly loud and audible "I'm very sorry that we have to leave the funeral early, but there is a matter that needs attending"
The thrumming all but subside as Twilight began to voice "Princess Celestia, please let me come with you"
Eyes met, an uncertain look passed from the ruler "Twilight, i'm not sure if-"
"Please Princess, this could be the monster that we're looking for! You have to let me come with you!"
"Twilight, what's goin' on?" The alicorns turned to the farmer pony approaching them, not less confused than they are "Are y'all sayin' the monster's attacking Canterlot?"
"We're not sure Applejack" Twilight regretted to continue "but it could be the case"
"Then lemme come with ya!"
"NO" Celestia resounded sternly "I do not want to bring anypony else in danger"
"But please princess-" The ruler turned to the pleading alicorn "-at least let me come with you! You know i can help, and I need to know more about what's happening!"
Celestia retreated to her thoughts for a moment. Twilight is a much capable pony, but she does not want to risk more lives than she needs to. But if there's anypony who can figure out what's happening, it's most likely her star pupil too...
"TIME IS RUNNING OUT SISTER, WE NEED TO MOVE NOW"
She glanced to her sister. No wiser words have ever been spoken so far. Not thinking a situation like this through is very risky, but there maybe a better time to worry.
"... Alright, you may come"
The relieved pupil nodded and turned to the farmer pony as the latter embraced her, hope and caution wished "Take care Twilight, y'all be careful now"
"We will, Applejack" Twilight turned back to the princesses, her stature resounding "I'm ready"
Princess Celestia faced the guards trying to conceal their jadedness, to Luna's impatient eyes glaring at her, to the disconcerted crowd - the sound of their unrest not unlike that of a riot. She shut her eyes closed and meditated with difficulty despite the particular spell being habitually cast. Sky blue light engulfed from her long horn and surrounded the ponies around her.
The way to the castle was very linear. Too linear. Laughably linear. Stupidly linear. It's so linear the way is practically a straight line! He likes it when things are conveniently simple, but sometimes things are just too easy.
Regardless, here he stood in front of the royal castle looking royal as shit. No really, it's so grand it looks very much like a stock castle or some crap like that. The illusion of distance made the castle look taller than it probably is, the paint job is so sparkly white it's probably glittering, the door to the entrance were barred closed, a battalion of armed horses lined up at the fortress firing lasers coming out of their horns at him and shit... Eh, you know, nothing's perfect.
As Deadpool side-steps every laser beam coming with pussy fairy sound effects, he grabs hold of his second to the last grenade. Unlatching it from his belt, he blew it a good-luck kiss and threw away his beloved work of art at the giant shut doors as he evade every 'pew pew' coming his way.
With the sound of sweet explosion entering the ambient crossfire he runs away from the castle and stopped. Steeled himself. Futile light shows surround him eager for his demise. A confident and bad-ass grin crept at our hero's visage as he rush towards the damaged doors vandalized by the explosion - still intact, but not for long.
Caring not to brush off blows thrown at him, he leaps towards the sturdy doors after saying a short prayer to the God of Thunder, Rock and Roll, and the Power of Greyskull - in that order, for their blessing while his rock-hard six-pack abs twist in mid-air darting his kung-fu legs at the unfortunate barrier before him.
Slow motion. He remembers the wise words of Master Yoshi 'Thou shalt leap like a grasshopper, young grasshopper' Deadpool took them to heart, his pose still imposing on the door, rays of light swarmed around him with agitated low-pitched 'woosh woosh' sounds. Time shifted back to relatively normal speed as Deadpool FUCKING HIGH-JUMPED THE SHIT OUT OF THE CASTLE DOORS - FUCK YEAH!!!
Through the wreckage he lands on the floor, crouched with his left foot forward and his right hand to the floor, his opposite arm turned away and doing the rock-and-roll sign like the true samurai ninja slayer warrior he is. He looks up. Inside, terror poorly hidden behind cold and trembling white pony faces surround him. Girly unicorn horns vibrating like the implied sex-toys they are, pointed at him, mayhap with implied homosexual intentions, or not.
He stands up. Scoffed as all the unicorns took a step back in retaliation and fear, without thought for gratitude to be near enough to bask in all his Deadpool glory... only one thing left to complete this intro.
Bad-ass one-liner time.
"What's the matter?" He cracked his neck and slowly twisted his shoulders, both for warm-up and effect, the stallions mumble unimportantly as he continued "You all sound a little..."
Wait for it...
"... Hoarse"
A no way too generic and fucking metal song
Filled with bloodlust, Deadpool slid under the unicorn and using his new weapon, commenced to stab the equine at its underside repeatedly. Pleading cries fell to deaf ears, the stallion's struggles deterred as blood pour down with every stab from the dismembered horn. Its white fur littered red with every puncture, panic amplified as it pass from pony to pony, torn vital organs followed streams of blood slithering down from the stallion's vulnerable spot. Statistically, it's hard to stab anything to death. God knows Deadpool tried.
He slid away from under the wobbling stallion before it fall to its side, eyes losing vitality, voice hysterical and broken as vigor crept away from its trembling coil, begging for death's swift embrace. He leaped from the floor, footing restored as his legs carry his body and resisted a dramatic pause to shove his stabbing hand at the throat of the unicorn on his right. His free arm grabbed hold of its horns and controlled the momentum of the soldier. driving it around him in circles for evasive action.
Petrified and the smell of death lingering in its muzzle, the stallion gaped at its puppet master. An imposing maniacal smile stared him down - hungry for pain.
Eager for Death.
The Merc with the Bloodlust displaced his gaze quickly to each and the other unicorns around him, all of them ambivalent about attacking him. He let go of the unicorn's horn, slid his hand under its right shoulder and lifted it towards the ponies in front of him. The horn speared at its windpipe pulled itself away as he threw the guard at their direction. His spider-sense alerted him of a stallion behind him approaching before he delivered a quick and powerful high-kick to its head. The blow jolted its skull upside, breaking away from the neck - instantly taking its life as robust hooves gave to the bloody floor.
He turns. Several stallions before him, all terrified at the thought of attacking him trembled. Grinning, he reared his weapon as if to strike - he almost scoffed as the stallions all took a step back.
"BOO!"
All the pony horses didn't hesitate to run away, shitting themselves in terror. Deadpool couldn't resist laughing as the fucking dumb-asses trip over their dying buddies as they run to the exit. "Haha! This is so easy it's almost unsatisfying" it's as if his prayers have been answered when he turned around to see a straight formation of stallions all lined up with Discord - his primary target - standing behind them.
"Haha... please, Hurt me plenty" ... okay okay, enough Doom references.
An evil smirk and a raging glare exchanged from the faces of monsters. Deadpool stood mockingly, the sound of dying stallions around him all taunting the draconequus into action. Discord snapped his fingers and immediately the horns of the unicorns around him began to glow with yellow light.
"FIRE!"
Before Deadpool's eyebrow could fully lift, lethal yellow laser beams showered all around his direction. He took some hits. Intense rays burn through his shoulder and his chest clean through. "AAH! Oh shit!" danger now significantly higher, he quickly changed his strategy to the 'run away' variety. On his way, he grabbed hold on one of the random corpses the horses he killed earlier to use for cover. He lifted the carcass, its armor reflecting the lasers as he make his swift--wait. The armor is reflecting the lasers?!
"Wha--.. AHAHA!!" an ecstatic cry just came as he was now armed with a suitable defense! "FUCKIN' AWESOME!" He pressed forward the unicorns as he begin to use the corpse's armor as a weapon, quickly turning the tides. Talk about surprise attack!
"NO!" Discord immediately regretted to amplify the royal guards' magic with his. Celestia must have enchanted the armors of the royal guard against his magic! How could he have not known?! "STOP FIRING! STOP FIRING!" his words were muffled out by exchange of lethal magic. Fear kept the royal guards firing at Deadpool despite their blows reflecting to every angle, even theirs.
By pure skill, Deadpool shifted the dead unicorn's armor to reflect a beam towards a chain holding a large beautiful and intricately decorated chandelier conveniently located on top of them. Cliches are awesome. The sound of lasers were replaced by that of thousands of shards of glass shattering on the floor, shattering on armor, shattering on fur, shattering on flesh. It's like hearing somebody getting shit at - but with class!
The fall took Discord off-guard as he try to free himself from the decor. Pain slowed him down as glass impaled all over his body, some almost getting in his eyes. His head only extended inches out from under. "Gah!... Goodness, why did this castle have such a large chandelier anyway?" still gathering his thoughts, he felt weight push him down as if something stepped on the rubble holding him. He looked up and saw Deadpool, his stance taunting and a smirk on his face.
Finally the time came. He reached for the large robust weapon on his back and giggled as sweet desolation almost near its course. He paused as he lifted the ultimate symbol of devastation in his hands and gave thanks to the lord Stan Lee and Saint John Romero for this kill he's about to reap. Finally, he aimed the work of art at the draconequus. The beautiful work of art known as The Gun. The Big Gun. The Big Fucking Gun. THE BIG FUCKING GUN 9000!
Okay I lied, there was one more Doom reference.
"SAY HELLO TO MY BIG FUCKING FRIEND!"
He pulls the trigger and watched as the BIG FUCKING GUN immediately melt on his hands and poured harmlessly all over the wreckage below.
...
"... what the..." he turned to Discord's equally bewildered eyes "... uh.."
The draconequus pushed away the chandelier with Deadpool still standing on it, sending him off ground. Discord's eyes swiftly fell on the stallions around him, some groaned weakly while the others laid lifeless on the wreckage. Fur smoked where fatal blows from the lasers landed. This was his fault. These guards were dead because of him.
Unwilling to harm anypony else, he takes flight and began to think of the nearest place where nopony is at this time of day. Luckily, he knows just the place.
Deadpool regained his composure from the throw and saw Discord running away from the party. This was his last chance. He unlatched the last grenade strapped on his waist and looked at it with determined eyes. Time slowed down again as he threw the bottle at the chinese dragon rip-off in epic slow motion, his eyes on the grenade moving with deadly accuracy towards the target. With only a few feet away, he awaits the spectacle of sweet sweet explosion only to see Discord immediately spin around and catch the bottle in mid-air.
His eyes widened. He said a silent 'FUCK' as the dragon throw it back to him. Time traveled too fast as it sprang towards him and exploded at his footing. The eruption flared between his legs, bottle shrapnel and cinder singed and impaled around his thighs, nearly castrating him.
"AAAHH! AAAAAH!" Deadpool immediately fell on his back, his legs twitched in pain while he screamed like a little girl "AAAHHH!!! AAAAAAHHH!!! .... AHh... ahh... FFFFUUCK! Another dick joke?! REALLY?! AAGH!"
Anger overtook agony as he attempt to stand. Ached grunts exhaled as his legs tried to lift his body "FUCK!... ah... WHO THE FUCK THINKS THIS IS EVEN FUNNY?! HUH?!" he turned as he heard the sound of one of the stallions he attacked choking on the floor. Its head twitched as blood drip endlessly from the hole of the neck. He walked and voiced towards it "You think this is funny? Huh? DO YOU!?" the stallion continued to choke as blood dripped and tears streamed down its eyes.
"Look at me when i'm talking to you!" He kicked the stallion. No response "What does this universe have against my seed? huh? TELL ME!" He blasted his anger on the horse, kicking it again "TELL ME!" a few more kicks to the twitching stallion.
He paused to catch his breath "... Okay... Fine then" He lifted his right leg and brought it down on the horse's side "This is for that time i fell on that branch on the forest!" He lifted his leg and brought it down again "This is for the time that bird pecked on my pecker!" He felt the cracking of bones under his foot as he continued pulverizing the stallion "This is for the time that squirrel took a bite of my nuts!" flesh caved as his foot smashed the stallion's body "This is for the dicks that loves these penis jokes!" The stallion tried to shut its eyes as its entire body shiver in agony "This is because I've erected that particular point!"
"This is because making dick jokes is kind of hard!"
"This is because of the ensemble of unicorns i had to finish up to get here!... whoa, that sounded wrong"
"This is for that idea even coming up!"
"And THIS is because I've spilled all the puns i can think of!"
"I think I wasted enough time"
Lifting his foot, Deadpool left the mangled mess that used to be the stallion and started to look for Discord. Going to the direction he assumed where the dragon left, he came across a forked hallway going to several other places in the castle "huh... Heeeeey Discoord!! Where you at?"
The sound of large doors closing echoed loudly far at the path in front of him "Well, that wasn't very elusive!" He ran through the hallway and soon enough faced the closed double doors. Noticing that there wasn't any doorknobs, he tried to push it open. The doors resisted his push, being barred from the other side. Of course it's barred. What a pussy.
"Hah.. like this is actually gonna stop me"
He moves to the side and faced the door on his right, rearing his right foot and brought it down at the base of the door. Seeing the door resist the Deadpool force, he reared at it again and smashed with even greater Deadpool force "Let's make this quicker and easier for everyone and just open the door to me, alright? I got a quota to catch up with!" as he continued to ram the door's base with his foot, wood started to chip away as it continued to resist the mighty power that is Deadpool's kick.
His foot finally went through. Wood shrapnels chipped his leg as he bore away at the hole, making it larger. Finally, he slipped inside and saw a relatively quiet and peaceful hallway adorned with beautifully decorated stained glass windows, a long red carpet extending from a throne atop a podium, other fancy stuff like columns and some shit - but no sign of Discord.
"Huh.." As he start to walk around the hallway, he heard a jolt of magic behind him. Turning around, he witnessed the opening he made closing as the doors turn into stone. Trapping him inside.
"Woah.." he looked around the hallway with suspicious eyes "heh.. you know... trapping me here may not be your smartest move..."
"You don't know who you are dealing with, Deadpool" Discord's voice boomed around the throne room, for some reason "I can easily make you cease to exist! The only thing more powerful than me is the elements of harmony!"
"Are you now?" Deadpool continued pace "given the amount of lasers you've all thrown at me now, you'll have to forgive my skepticism"
"You think I was trying to kill you? I was aiming to subdue you! I'll leave to Celestia the decision for your fate"
"Hah! What a lame excuse. Show yourself and make yourself look less like bullshit, will you?"
"I think not. Soon the princesses will come here, and you have nothing to do about it"
Celestia's horn glowed with tremendous restraint, her face grimaced with the effort to cast the teleporter spell. Her sky blue aura covering everypony around her flickered and finally vanished, darting her eyes everywhere in confusion.
"... My..." Her eyes turned to Luna and Twilight, both equally staggered "... My magic.. I can't focus my magic at..."
The ruler turned to Canterlot's direction at the horizon. Strong winds swept from her large wings as she retract them. The crowd watched as Celestia immediately take-off in flight directly to Canterlot in the distance.
"SISTER!" Luna lifted her wings and swiftly followed after her sister, murmurs amplified even more as they look on at their rulers in confusion.
"..What.. What happened?" Twilight turned to Applejack beside her, both of them confused by what's happened "... What?.."
"The princesses huh..." Things are starting to look grim for our hero. Looks like Discord is determined to keep him trapped here. Obviously, he needs to think of something. Fast.
Pondering for a few seconds, Deadpool studied the hall. Looking for whatever slight sign of Discord's presence "You know, I don't get you... If you're so powerful and able to kill me - why don't you just do it? You said it yourself that you didn't want me alive!"
"I don't" Discord's voice boomed around the hallway "I really really don't. I abhor you very much, honestly. But I promised to use my powers for good"
"You did huh?" His pace nearing him towards the end of the hall "That sounds lame"
"A monster you maybe, but there is hope for you"
Deadpool stopped as he stood before the throne that really is less like a chair and more of just a fancy pedestal. It didn't have a seat to be honest and is just a back rest... What the fuck kind of throne is this?
"There always is. Just like how there was hope for me... even when I didn't believe there is"
Deadpool cringed at the words "Ewwww! Where did you get your material from? The Disney Channel? Am I really not in the Disney Universe? I ain't so sure now..."
"I don't like you one bit, but so did everypony else with me before" The draconequus' voice lowered to a sympathetic tone "All of that changed because one pony believed in me... and I've never felt more fulfilled in all my life to finally have a friend"
... What the fuck is this shit? "Aww... ISN'T THAT SWEET? somebody grab me a bag to vomit in please! Tell me, WHO is this particular pony so significant to your change for the better?"
Discord kept silent. He sat on the throne and waited for a moment after his voice trailed off "... Okay! I’m going for a long-shot here...” he rubbed his chin as he think of an answer "hmm... this throne isn't really comfortable to sit at...”
"-- OH WAIT! I GOT IT!" a mischievous smile made its way on the Merc's face "Is it... Fluttershy?"
The hall kept silent as his words meditate around them. For some reason, the room felt inexplicably colder.
"It's Fluttershy isn't it? My Deadpool sense is tingling on the word Fluttershy..." He pointed his head for emphasis as the hall kept eerily inaudible.
"Let me tell you something about that Fluttershy..." He rested his back on the throne "I almost got her, you know? She's the one that lived in that cottage, am I right?"
"What do you know about her?"
"I know she's weak"
Deadpool's sure he can feel Discord slowly infuriating "Laughably weak in fact. I mean, I'll be honest with you I’ve never seen anybody cry like she did when I killed all those animals... I mean come on, right? Who the fuck cries over their pets like that?!" he rested his shoulders on the mildly uncomfortable throne "I'm afraid that if I show up at... uh... Rarity's place, I’m afraid she'd die of six heart attacks before I even gut her open"
"How did you know about that?"
"You should've seen her face back there... I mean YOU JUST GOTTA see it to believe, man. I’m not sure if words--"
"HOW do you know about that?!"
"-- are capable to fully describe the agony I was fortunate to witness. Her hysteria as animal blood pour over me. Body parts. Flesh. Internal organs flying away with every slice of my swords... you can practically tell--"
"HOW DID YOU KNOW WHERE SHE IS STAYING?!"
"-- the light reflecting from her tears... damn. There's just no satisfaction like that, I tell you... haha... ha..." pestiferous laughs echoed while Deadpool continued to slump his back at the throne. "There I stood! - The smell of despair and blood surrounds me. My swords in both hands, I turned to the little cry baby - her eyes painstakingly red with tears--"
"Shut up"
"-- gazing at me with mercy that'd make Tobey Maguire cringe. Her heart shattered to billions of pieces as i--"
"Shut up!"
"--stepped over mutilated flesh, once recognizable as her animal friends. She grabbed a little rabbit next to her. I followed. My hunger for demise insatiable, I ran to the helpless pony with tremendous speed. The pony--"
"SHUUT UUP!!!"
"-- without strength and hope could not outrun the demon catching up behind her... Finally almost within arm's reach, her little bunny leaped from her embrace- sacrificing itself for her life. It attacked my fucking face and I tripped as Fluttershy escaped to my embarrassment... he he... either way, I only wished she was there to watch as I pulled the rabbit away from my face and began to squeeze it to death. Its eyes, I gathered, begged me to either stop or give it a swift death - none of which I granted as my hands tighten with each second. Bones cracked and caved inside, piercing whatever vital organs it can. Rabbit feces squeezed out from its asshole. Delirious cries gurgled out as vomit overflow from its mouth... ugh, I’ll have to remind myself to take a bath next time"
Deadpool looked around the tense and silent room. It really did feel very cold and tense around him "hmm... I guess I CAN express it in words! That was a good story now wasn't it?"
Complete silence endured.
"No?"
Silence. Complete and utter stillness suffered in the cold lifeless hall.
"Oh well, I’m sure Fluttershy will agree with me when I tell her myself"
The throne immediately exploded under Deadpool, sending him careening mid-air "AAAAHH! WHAT THE-?!!" faced down, he slid across the carpet several meters away before friction would halt him. He tried to turn upside, only to realize he can't feel his legs "AH!! SHIT, My legs!" As he pushed himself facing up, he looked down and saw both of his limbs dismembered - save for half of his left thigh and most of his crotch "AAAHAH! My legs... ah!..." He looked forward the throne and saw Discord towering before him. A terrorizing glare from the ghostly dragon visage peered onto him. Strangely... the first thing Deadpool feels like doing... is to laugh.
"AAHH! Ahh.. ha... haha... HAhaha.. HAHAHA!.. ha. You know... if you hated that chair so much you could have at least told me to get up before you blew it apart!"
"In all my years of existence, never have I resorted to kill anypony. Ever" He snapped his claw fingers. A magic aura enveloped Discord as his already giant form grew in size. Almost a few inches from the roof, he lifted his enlarged paw "You'll be the first. And I’ll do it very slowly... very... very slowly"
The tiles shattered underneath as he smashed his colossal paw at Deadpool. He lifted it only to see that the monster wasn't there "What?!" He felt a latching at the back of his paw and sure enough, the nuisance was clinging there "HEY!" He moved his forepaw swiftly to every side to shake him off "GET OFF MY PAW!!"
Deadpool kept resisting the strong winds trying to sweep him off. Swooshing back and forth, he timed the paw's movement and let go - sending him in the air above the hideous-dragon... thingy. Damn, what other synonym does chinese-dragon rip-off have? With swift precision he was able to shift his weight, letting gravity pull him down on Discord's surprised face, much to his misfortune, and much to Deadpool's fortune. Heh
"GGAAHH! GET O--" Deadpool slipped through inside his mouth as soon as Discord opened it followed by the sensation of blood dripping and pouring all over his mouth and tongue as Deadpool scurried through his throat making him gag. He grabbed his neck to try to push Deadpool out, but he finally felt him slid through.
"Yeah! Fu--ewRHWREHwwr!" Internal organ juice entered Deadpool's mouth before he could start to rub his stink through every section inside the dragon. Trying to talk was a really bad idea. "Frrwrrrfffff!" closing the mouth sounds like a good idea too. "Fwwmm?-mmh!" He closed his mouth. Bleck. The taste of blood juice is pretty disgusting. Deadpool's hand can feel some important internal organ parts within reach... Suddenly, a wild Trollface appeared on his face.
"AAAHHHAA!!" Discord fell to the floor as he felt his insides being pulled apart everywhere. He shuddered on the floor as holes punctured everywhere inside and innards continued ripping apart mercilessly. The pain made his magic worn off, returning him to his normal size, tears spontaneously erupting while his cheek laid on the floor, powerless. Vomit mixed with blood poured from his mouth, his raspy voice softened as his eyes kept darting everywhere with horror. Every second Deadpool is ripping away anything he can reach inside, and all he can do is convulse pointlessly.
They say that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes.
What if you've lived since eternity? Do every single memory flash before you? Every single heartbreak, elation, and even boredom?
... if not, what memory would separate itself from the rest of your life?
Discord remained slumped beside Fluttershy, both of them gazing at the solitary tree outside the room's window. Wind racing softly on exuberant leaves, suffering the scrutiny of its two spectators silently watching from the comfort of Rarity's elegant chamber. He heaved a sigh. His gaze turned to the completely silent and still pegasus, her eyes sunken and mildly concentrated outside the window. He really isn't good at comforting anypony. He'd take all the help he could get if any just to cheer Fluttershy up. Usually its Angel who knows how to handle things like this... hey...
A content smile and snap of his claws, a small flash of light materialized on the spot beside the oblivious mare. She turned. The shape of a little white rabbit was clutching her wing. Her eyes magnified as she focus on the familiar form. It was a little white rabbit, clutching on her wing. But it's head was that of a goat. Of A draconequus.
"Hi Fluttershy!" Discord raised his little bunny paws, Fluttershy's gaze kept dumbly on him "Ah? You feel better now?"
She paused to study his form, Discord waiting for a slight smile or a little laugh in the least. A short moment of eyes slowly fluttering, a tear streamed before she turned away from him. Her head low. Silent wails alarmed him.
"Oh! Wait wait - don't cry!" Another flash of light and Discord turned back into his draconequus self "It's me! I-i-i didn't meant to make you cry! Uhh--" As Fluttershy continue to cry, Discord materialized a balloon. He began to shape the balloon into an animal and offered it to her "Fluttershy! Don't cry! Here! I made this for you!"
She looked up and saw the balloon animal in Discord's paw. She began to wail even louder, making Discord panic a bit
"No no no! Please don't cry! I’m sorry!"
The sound of the door opening made Discord turn to see Rarity and Twilight Sparkle at the door, a look of anger and surprise both on their faces
Discord's spasm intensified as he felt Deadpool burrowing through his bowels, monstrous little claws digging out from his posterior.
"aaaaAAAAAHHH!!!" Deadpool's head was the first to peek out from Discord's asshole. Pulling out his arm, he tried to push himself out "GROOOOSSSS!!! I am LITERALLY your SHIT! AAAAAHHH!! HAHAHA!" Deadpool finally got out from Discord's body. A pool of blood came out with him. "Nnggh... crap, I really need to take a shower now" he faced the twitching draconequus, remarkably still alive and conscious if not broken "Hah... I just went DEADPOOL in your ass! … Hey... that sounds right! I now proclaim 'I'm going Deadpool on your ass' a new catchphrase! I'll try using it often"
Despite all reasoning, Discord with remarkable strength turned his body to him. His claw pointing at him, twitching from the continuous pain he's under
"... HAH!... You just won't give up, do you?"
Discord with his ounce of strength fired a lethal beam at the maniac. Deadpool rolled himself away and the beam shot the footing of the column across him instead. His pupils expanded as the towering column slowly fall to his direction...
"Discord! What are you doing?!" Twilight ran towards them and embraced Fluttershy "And how did you get here before me?!"
"I-I'm not doing anything! I-I swear! I just wanted to help!" He waved his paw and claw around
"Discord!" He turned to Rarity's exasperated voice "I think its best that you leave now"
"But! I-"
"LEAVE!" Discord turned to Twilight's scowl, her hooves around Fluttershy "LEAVE! You're not helping!"
His eyes turned at Fluttershy wailing almost silently, to Twilight's offended glare, and Rarity's concerned face. Anger began to rise, he snapped his fingers and teleported himself outside the boutique. He stood and looked back to Rarity's home one more time before displacing himself back to his quarters at Canterlot.
The large column fell and crushed Discord's entire frame. A claw sticking out from the rubble among the large pool of blood splattered all over the column and the floor - the only evidence of Discord's presence in the room. Deadpool paused and savored the subsiding sound of the reverb of his well earned victory.
"Definitely not the first time you spilled bodily fluids on that spot"
As he try to sit himself up, he heard the sound of clopping hooves. The applause variety, you sick bastard.
[[YYEAHH!!! THAT. WAS. AWESOME!]] [[DISCORD WAS LIKE--WOOSH WOOSH! AND YOU WERE LIKE-WAAAH!-AND DISCORD WAS LIKE-AAAAH!! ANDthenyouwentinsideand TORE HIS INSIDES OUT! Or maybe in. ANDTHENYOUDUGYOURSELFOUTSIDE His BUTT!! HAHA!! ANDTHENYOUEVADEDHISMAGIC AND THE COLUMN FELL ON HIM! and SPLAT!! HAHAHA!!! THAT. WAS. AWESOME!!!]]
"Haha! Thank you, Thank you!" He waved his hands to her, because deep down he's really a humble guy "It was nothing, really! I wasn't even trying!" okay okay, he's a douchebag.
He tried to stand up as the demonic cheerleader continue clopping her hooves. Heh. He stumbled, seeing as that his legs haven't regenerated yet for some reason. It'll probably grow back in 30 minutes or so. He turned back to his kill, blood was spreading on the floor like crazy and the scent of Discord's inside is still lingering inside Deadpool's mouth and nose... interestingly, it smells just like Taco Bell.
[[So? Are you ready to go now? I can't keep blocking this place forever!]]
"No, not yet" He approaches the puddle of blood around Discord "I'll just mark myself in history first"
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash finally reached the rioting funeral. They stopped as ponies everywhere mumble loudly to each other, the look of anxiety on everypony's faces.
"Huh? Are funerals supposed to be this noisy?"
"It wasn't like this when I left! Something must have happened" Scouring the pandemonium, Rainbow Dash saw Twilight and Applejack at the far end in the distance "Pinkie! There's Twilight and Applejack! Follow me!" she zipped through atop the roaring masses
"Dashie! Wait!" Pinkie Pie pushed through the crowd as Rainbow completely leave her "Dash! Ahh! Oh, excuse me!" she pushed through several stallions "Sorry! Excuse me! Pardon me!"
"Twilight! Applejack! Why is the crowd panicking?" they turned to Rainbow Dash, Twilight began "The guards here told us Canterlot is under attack. For some reason, the princesses flew there"
"Huh? Why? Couldn't Princess Celestia teleport there instead?"
"... We're not sure"
"I reckon it might involve the monster" The two ponies turned to Applejack "Twilight, you saw what happened back at the farm! I’m mighty positive that the monster is doing some strange magic!"
"We don't know that, AJ. Let's not draw conclusions here"
"Well, what could it be?" Applejack retorted "You're the element of magic, you tell us!"
"Guys!" Both of them turned to Rainbow Dash "I came here with Pinkie, she found some weird stuff from the forest"
At that moment, Pinkie Pie finally reached them "Whoa! Funerals sure are rioty!"
"Pinkie! Show them the saddle thing!"
Rarity saw the gang together "Fluttershy, stay here. I'll go check what's going on" Fluttershy gave her a weak nod and continued to her friends
"... I know that! The monster was wearing that! I’m sure of it!" Applejack was the first to comment about the belt Pinkie held in her hoof
"That is a really peculiar design" Rarity joined suddenly joined them "Where did you get that... saddle?"
"Around the woods where we lost the monster" Twilight, Applejack and Rarity gazed at Pinkie "If you think that's weird, you better see some of what's inside!"
Amid the riot. Fluttershy's gaze kept at the tree standing near Carousel Boutique, the one that she has been staring at for days on end. Even with the noise, the nest cushioned inside the branches felt eerily silent. Eerily silent of chirps. Eerily silent of cries.
After passing through innumerable corpses and panicking ponies, she finally landed before the castle. Blood that's all too familiar lately decorated the blown wooden castle entrance. She trotted inside, the smell of death lingered all over the corpses of her guards at the gate and the podium in front across the fallen chandelier. A familiar descent of wings landed behind her while she stood aghast the hall.
"...WHAT... WHAT HAPPENED HERE?" Luna exclaimed as she stood outside the castle, hoping Celestia would have an answer
"I don't know" She tried to steel herself, managing the many emotions she feels rushing inside "something was blocking my magic. I couldn't focus the teleporter spell anywhere near Canterlot"
Luna's face morphed horrified as her sister went further in the castle "SISTER!" She went inside, the sight of the guards brutally murdered in such horrid ways it almost made her puke. She followed Celestia further in the castle, passed through a chandelier that crushed the guards
"These doesn't look like hoof-prints" her eyes followed the bloody path to the throne room, on the way she saw a single giant slab of stone where the door should be "What?"
Luna caught up beside her "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOORS?"
"I don't know. Stand back, Luna" Celestia's horn and eyes glowed luminously as she point her horn towards the stone, unleashing a powerful jolt of magic that shattered the giant rock to pieces. Before the smoke could clear, she leaped inside only to be rooted to her spot as she take in the sight of the hallway
"WHAT IS INSIDE? WHA--" Luna stopped short entering the room and stood beside her sister
"That looks something the monster was carryin'! That really does belong to the monster!" Applejack pointed to a red mask designed with two large black circles around two holes held out by Pinkie
Twilight followed "... How did that fit inside the pocket?"
"Pinkie, can you hand me that saddle please?" Pinkie Pie gave Rarity the odd saddle, Rarity held it in her hoof and felt the rough texture to be very strange "the material is very peculiar, the rough texture feels very odd, not very much like cotton - not to mention this symbol" Rarity held what appears to be the buckle of said saddle that looked equally peculiar "I've never seen this.. emblem before, Twilight what do you make of it?"
Twilight took her turn to study the buckle "I don't know... I’ve never seen this sort of symbol before either"
The beautiful throne room was tarnished by blood and debris everywhere, Celestia's throne was blown apart, blood was everywhere on the carpet and tiles but most striking about this is the mangled mess of a large column on top of what could be a draconequus endlessly spilling out a pool of blood everywhere on the floor
"Discord..." Celestia slowly approached the slain Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. Her hooves trembled in disbelief as she thread "Luna... bring Twilight to the Crystal Empire. Now"
After hesitating at first, Luna relented and rushed outside the castle as fast as she can. Celestia's gaze kept fixed on the column, but most notable the writing written in large crooked letters. Blood still dripped from the writing, meaning that it was just recently written. A large symbol of a circle cut with a vertical line with a dot inside each half was drawn next to a message written in Discord's blood
DEADPOOL WAS HERE
Light from the sun began to descend. At the stained glass window, the beam shining through the Element of Kindness dimmed.
Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Heavy hoofsteps slowly ascended to her quiet retreat that is the lovely room of her good friend Rarity, only made empty by her presence. She sat unperturbed, facing the tree lit only by the moonlight right outside the window like what she has been doing for days on end - denying the truth by detaching herself. As the monster's steps slowly and slowly amplify, the wind blew on the tree suffering her sight. The leaves waved her goodbye as she wait for the creature to come in.
She had expected that she would take this less calmly. Meeting the one creature that has killed so many and made her lose so much, but she is done bargaining with death. Sadness has a way of giving you strength when you finally choose to have it. The loving times she had with her beloved... family... will never be forgotten and every detail of their grim deaths will forever be etched in her mind, but so is the strength that made her finally accept that they are forever gone in the present but forever living in her memories, and where there is life, there is hope.
And where there is hope, there is life.
A single lonely tear dripped from her eye. A tear not of sadness, but of unique elation for knowing that losing so much has made her the strongest pony she knows. That she can visit her memories of her friends and shed tears not of sadness but of happiness, for when somepony is remembered they are never gone.
And so she will forever immortalize her friends by her thoughts, and knowing that one's life continues this way she has no fear of meeting her own demise.
The door creaked open behind her. Her attention turned to the presence she could feel standing at the door of the room.
"Hello Fluttershy"
She found her hooves slowly making her stand up and slowly turning to face the monster who made her stronger. The large creature stood, its entire body of dead flesh was covered only with a red mask on its head and straps across its chest. She stared at death's face with no ounce of fear, for she knows she's stronger than him.
This strength did not stem from a desire to avenge her friends, nor to fight for her own life - but from knowing that whatever happens tonight, she lives on. One way or another.
She has finally accepted.
"Hello Deadpool"
Chapter 8: Anti-Deadpool
"OOOOOOOOOooohhh..."
Deadpool wrapped his hands around his grumbling stomach as he laid down on the cold barren ground of hell dimension or whatever the fuck the place is really called. The rocky ground is red, the entire background of the place is black with distorted red shapes everywhere, and the only company this place have is Pinkie the friendly demon horse - which by the way, given the fact that it isn't really comforting, but, you know.
"HHHHHHOOoooohhhhhhhh.... Oh my god, my stomaaach..."
Deadpool, The Merc With The Mouth rolled a little on the floor still wrapping his hand around him as his stomach eat away itself "Hooooly shiiit..."
[[What's wrong?]]
Pinkie Pie, The Creamy of Some Pasta approached our hero in need as he continued rolling on the barren ground of her home or something. It was she that brought him to this probably literal hellhole and for all he knows probably the only one who can. There are likely more things this creepy little pony can do since it so happens that she was the one that dragged him in this universe in the first place, but anyone's thinking can get a little screwed when they're hungry.
"I am so goddamn fucking hungry, that's what's fucking wroooooOOOHHH!" He twisted his body as the pang of hunger surprisingly take him over "OOHHH my god! Why the fuck does getting hungry HURT THIS BAD?! AGH!"
[[Wow. To be honest, I don't know why I didn't think you'd need to eat. It has, after all, been days since you've been here]]
He rolled on his side to face the demon horse with an understandably pained face "I don't really keep track of time since I don't have a watch, how long HAVE I been here?"
She glanced up to think and returned back to him [[Maybe around 4 or 5 days. With all that 'regenerating' I saw you do, I just thought you didn't need to eat or drink really, haha]] she chuckled with an embarrassed face. Not a very common misconception, but it happens. [[Plus, ponies can live for a week without food but only two days without water]]
What does that have to do with him? "Two days without water?" Whoa... when was the last time he took a drink? ... Oh yeah, just hours ago in Discord's insides. Blegh. "UUUGHHH..."
{{I will admit, this is a slight oversight on all our parts. Let's just get you rejuvenated and we can continue our work}}
Red Box, The Caption With No Fuck finally entered the conversation, like what he does once in a while in case we all forget about him. Deadpool by the course of time has been listening to him since the first issue of Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe so there's no need to describe his threatening evil voice that echoes low pitch bass sounds every time he speaks that would make Skrillex commit suicide. Yep, no need. Red Box isn't really his name, Deadpool only now just thought of naming him that so it would be easier to describe him. He wondered why he didn't thought of naming him that earlier.
Speaking of no need to describe voices, there's also no need to point out that demon Pinkie Pie here sounds like a distorted teenage girl's voice mixed with metal gratings and occasionally baby cries echoing in the background while she speaks, plus it doesn't help that she has glowing dots inside her skull for eyes. Yep, really no reason. Leave it to Deadpool to be unusually observative while he's goddamn hungry.
{{Are you listening?}}
"What?" He tried to stop rolling on the ground for a while "I'm sorry, I'm goddamn hungry. I only pay attention to my stomach when I’m goddamn hungry"
[[I don't have any food or ingredients on me so I can't make you some cupcakes]]
"Oh, too bad. Really"
[[Yes. This feels so cliché, but it looks like I’m bringing you back to the Everfree Forest again]]
Ah! The Everfree Forest! Of course everything begins, happens, and ends in The Everfree Forest! Everybody knows that! "Really now? How is sending me there going to feed me? I've been there, like, several times now and I haven't seen a single edible looking fruit or plant. Granted I ate that mushroom before, but I quit"
[[Haha! ... No Wade, only a few plants and fruits are not edible in the forest. And didn't you swore to be a vegetarian earlier?]]
"It's hard to stay dignified on an empty stomach. Plus, I don't trust the flora of that place" Deadpool stood up from the floor and approached Pinkie. He's so hungry he could eat a horse... huh.
"... You know, I heard horse meat is pretty lean and good for your health"
The crimson pony raised an eyebrow and shot him an annoyed look.
"I'm kidding! I'm kidding! I'm not gonna eat you! Hahahahaha! Heh! Hey - seriously, cut that out, come on" he raised his hands and slowly backed away while she stared him down with her soul-burning gaze while the red shapes on the background behind her began shining "... But still, I need to eat and the point still stands so..."
The shapes stopped shining and returned back to their dim form while Pinkie held a hoof to her chin [[Hmm. Well, technically you ARE right. Pony meat IS lean and good...]] she rubbed her chin some more and brushed off her hoof [[Well, I guess you can eat pony]]
"Thank you!" He approached her with grateful eyes "Oh thank you VERY much! You'll always have a special place in my heart" he leaned down to her and held her hoof in his hands
[[You're not eating ME, silly!]] She took her hoof off him [[You're going to eat somepony else, of course!]]
"I knew that" He wiped his saliva off his lips "I was just going to kiss your hoof in gratitude"
[[Yeah, sure. Well you're in luck. For some reason, somepony is wandering alone in the Everfree Forest right now and I don't know why so--]]
"Forget it!" Deadpool turned his back and crossed his arms for effect "I'm not killing your non-demon version! I already told you I have enough of that shit"
[[I'm not talking about her!]] Black smoke trailed and she appeared in front of Deadpool [[She left the forest before you went to Canterlot! She's long gone. This one is nopony important, or at least to us anyway. She's totally killable]]
"Now who would be stupid enough to wander alone in the Everfree forest especially in a time like this except for me?"
[[Well, you'd be surprised how the multiverse is connected. Sometimes I still am]]
"What?"
[[Oh, and you'll probably need this]] She reached for something behind her and lo and behold, she stood before him and in her hooves were four very familiar works of art handed to him by fate.
"Is that?" He clutched the two blades from her "It is!" his two ornate Japanese one-handed katanas, wielded by only by the finest samurai warriors of feudal japan which he lost with his fight with Pony Akuma earlier. To have it back is to redeem his honor and he doesn't need to commit hara-kiri anymore.
"And this...?" He eyed the two remaining items while he sheathed the swords on his back. His hands gripped the handles of the items so familiar, he turned off the safety by muscle memory "My guns... My guns... Oh, how I miss thee my beloved" he held one to his cheek and rubbed it with glee. He smiled like a youth as he visit fond memories of people getting their heads shot by him, exploding faces and blood splattering on walls, floors, and other peoples' faces made him giggle
"We shall never depart for thou wilt to be with me. This world of strife can't tear us apart, for we have each other... Hold on a minute" He removed the magazine of the gun on his right "EMPTY?!" and he then checked the other one "ALSO EMPTY?! Hast thou flung thyself to the care of another man? So be it, thou whench!" He motioned to throw the guns away "Have at thee!" before he could cast away his beloved, he was able to steel himself and lowered his hands in understanding "... Ah! How couldst I stay mad at thee? Thine faults are numbered but thine good works are innumerable... I forgive thee" and with that, he holstered his weapon at the straps on his waist. Now all he needs is his belt and his costume.
He turned towards Demon Pinkie Pie, she was staring at him with an awkward face.
"What?"
[[... Nothing]]
{{Yes, Nothing}}
Deadpool cleared his throat "SO, how did you get hold of these things?"
[[Since Chapter six. They are surprisingly far away from each other, Big Mac beat you up good back there]]
Deadpool took a breath and a step back "Oh yeah, I forgot. You can do it too"
[[Eeyup!]] She gave him a wink and wrapped her hooves around his leg [[You and me Wade, we're the perfect team!]]
Her dead hollow eyeholes glowed dimly out of place with her innocent-like smile as he look down. Her fur, bloody red all over accentuated the hue of her darker mane swept to the side showing off her ghostly visage. Her entire appearance is the image of a little girl's innocence corrupted by dark shit. He remembered the pink pony she showed him on the crystal ball before. Even under stress, it looked so lively and carefree and... pure. Looking at her now, they're both so similar and yet so different...
"The perfect team, huh"
The dark forest of Everfree did little to assist her as she tread through the grassy knolls in search of the monster responsible for the chaos of late.
Little light reflected from her teal coat. Despite her eyes practically adjusted to the dark now she can barely see her way through in her admittedly futile search for answers – answers that as far is everyone else is concerned she doesn’t need to know.
Everypony told her this was a bad idea. Supposedly, this forest is the monster’s hideout especially since it appeared and disappeared to and fro this forest. With the deaths of hundreds of ponies still fresh in everypony’s mind – especially Discord’s – plans to search the forest for the murderer is somewhat non-existent for some reason… well, some reason being fear of the unknown crippling any sense of urgency Princess Celestia usually have in situations like these.
You would think that the princess would task her neighbors—ahem, the Elements of Harmony to search and bring down this monster once and for all but word seems to have gone out that Twi--… Princess … Twilight Sparkle have gone to the Crystal Empire along with Princess Luna, for reasons left unexplained.
…. What’s in the Crystal Empire, Twilight?
What’s so special that you have to go there all the way from Ponyville while this part of Equestria is in a state of emergency? …. Does it have something to do with the monster?
… What do you and the princesses know that I don’t?
Her apparently robust hooves took her to some part of the forest she honestly isn’t familiar with – not that she’s familiar with the forest to begin with, this is practically her first time here and immediately she’s already lost.
Of course this was a bad idea – Of course she could be killed – Of course there’s no way she could protect herself from the creatures in the forests alone, let alone the monster. Basic spells won’t save her rump. But even if Roseluck got killed, even if Canterlot got ravaged, even if the monster’s using never-before-seen kinds of magic, even for whatever reason she can think of to not go searching for the monster herself…
… How could she really pass up an opportunity to finally see a human?
Her hooves slowed down on their own as a light gust of wind blew against her way. She stopped. The air slowly brushing through her felt strangely cold. Her eyes widened towards an almost unheard rumble somewhere around her. She slowly turned her head around her, unsure of where it’s coming from.
“Who… Who’s there?”
The rustle continued. She took a step back, the alarms going on in her head telling her to run away and never come back went unheeded.
“Who are you?!”
She was not up to speed. She slid backwards when something big lunged from the woods and landed just inches away from crushing her. Pushing herself back, she rushed to her hooves and looked on as the moonlight reveal her attacker by a split second.
“Gah! A Manti-“
The swipe from a large paw threw her off her sentence and towards the trees behind her. Her back slammed against one of the trees and recoiled her to the floor.
“AAHH!”
She rolled to her side trying to ease the pain but her expression didn’t fare any better when she glanced toward the creature standing where she was a moment ago
She wasn’t sure if the moon was being kind to her or not when it illuminated the massive form of her assailant. It almost looked like a pony if not for the darker shade of its brown fur crowned all over its face. Its feline eyes dilate with desperation stared her down while two rows of canine teeth arrayed with saliva pooling down in small drops laid on the creature’s visage.
It moved a paw toward her, the tremble of its body somehow making it look surprised to see her too. Its ribs bulged from its chest meaning it’s apparently really thin despite its huge frame.
“nngh…”
The beast took another step. It exhaled a soft roar, more like a growl that you’d expect from something that’s been hungry for days. Or weeks.
The creature let the light reveal a pair of giant purple wings adorned on its back raised as if for flight. It drew closer until she can see its entire body still trembling at her for some reason
“… A manticore…”
She doesn’t need this right now. Not now. She didn’t come all the way here to go out like this.
“… Please… You don’t have to do this”
The manticore folded its wings and slowly lowered its body to the ground, poised for another jump. Its face frozen with a strange mix of disbelief, desperation, and fear. Almost like it was trying to defend ITSELF from her.
It stopped moving as soon as she moved her hoof to lift herself up from the fall and even lifted back a paw as if it was going to run away. She kept her eyes on it as she stood up from the floor, the moon’s light fully illuminating the creature inside the otherwise pitch black forest. The longer she stared at it, the less she could understand what is going on.
“I…”
“WINTER, SPRING, SUMMER OR FAAALL!♪”
A voice somehow echoed all over the forest. They both shook their heads, trying to figure out which direction the sound came from.
“AAALL YOU GOTTA DOO IS CAALL!♪”
She watched the manticore circle around, its wings raised and ready to fly off. Somehow she can see a face daunted with more terror than hers just a few hooves reach from her and she doesn’t understand it.
Why is this thing more scared than her?
The manticore turned to her as soon as the echo died down. She can feel something heavy dangling below her heart. The air felt cold as her eyes locked with the manticore’s for a split second.
Something splattered on her face. Unflinching, her eyes kept locked on two lights shining on the face of the manticore that she haven’t noticed until then. She blinked. The forest became too quiet. The manticore slowly lowered its head bit by bit. Its four legs slid, giving into the weight of its body. Its wings bent to their sides, raised and stiff.
There was something holding on the back of the manticore’s head as it finally bowed to the ground. It looked like a pony but to her surprise it started to stand upright as soon as she saw it. It unclenched two long bars attached to the back of the manticore’s head as it stood, the light she saw earlier now reflected from the bars this new creature left.
They were swords… and this creature is…?
“AND I’LL BEE THEERRE – YEAH, YEAH, YEAAAHH♪…”
Her mind was blank all of a sudden, like this creature’s presence alone somehow removed her ability to think. Her hooves stayed put and her face kept unflinched, the creature pulled one of the swords from the manticore’s head and slowly pointed it at her direction.
“What? You ain’t surprised to see me drop in?”
Her thoughts slowly started to gather in her head while she kept still in front of the creature. Like she thought – the creature looked like a tall pony standing upright, it didn’t seem to have a muzzle and it was wearing a red ripped mask covering only the top half of its face. It looked like its fur was badly removed from its entire body leaving behind a scarred and dead flesh for its skin. When she looked closer the creature had what it looked like claws holding the sword pointed at her.
It’s just what she remembered it looked like.
“You’re… You’re a human… right?”
The human lowered its sword and stepped down from the manticore’s corpse. The steps it took towards her sounded like it was the only thing that can be heard within a mile from them. Her guess is that the human was towering twice as tall as she is. She could clearly see its face now just a few steps from her and her mind just went blank again when its mouth slowly opened to speak.
“It’s kinda sad that it would be here of all places that I would actually be recognized as human” it leaned towards her, narrow eyes staring directly at hers “… How do you know what a human is? …What’s your name?”
She couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t believe she was right. She had always dreamt that one day this would happen and here it is now, before her very eyes, she has found a human.
“M-My name is Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings”
“... I hate to break it to you but that doesn’t sound human at all”
“Are you sure?”
Sunset Shimmer took a sip from her ice cream float and laid it back to the table. Twilight Sparkle, her former enemy and first real friend just stared at her as if she’s not being completely truthful – not that you can’t really blame her for it.
“Twilight, after everything that happened why would I lie from you now? Now the way you described what this creature looked – Yes, its appearance do resemble humans – but appearing and disappearing in Ponyville killing three ponies and tenfold of animals a mile apart in less than an HOUR?! And… killing around a hundred…”
The other people in the ice cream parlor started looking at them while Sunset ignored Twilight hissing at her to quiet down. She slumped back to her chair. “A HUNDRED ponies in Canterlot in that much time just yesterday? That’s not something a human can do, Twilight!”
“Sunset, please. I dug the Canterlot’s history archives before Princess Luna and I left for the Crystal Empire and there’s not a single reference or even likeness of this happening ever in history. Equestria has never faced anything like this before”
“You’re telling me”
“Listen to me” Twilight leaned over the table to her “You are the only lead that I – no, Everypony has on a chance to defeating this monster, Sunset”
She grabbed her head to think. Sunset moved aside her ice cream float to make room for her elbows while she contemplated all this. Twilight didn’t like putting all this on her but the sense of urgency made her press on. “I need your help to identify what this monster IS to begin with. Otherwise we might not have a chance at all”
Sunset just kept still for a moment. Her forehead bowed to her palms, her mind rushing from one possibility to another and from one statement to another - the fate of Equestria is not an easy burden to carry. “This magic you described to me… Invisible fast small fireballs?”
“It’s how everyone described it” Twilight returned to her seat “… It is kind of hard to grasp”
Sunset looked away for a moment and went back to her “How was it making that?”
“They said it came from some long object the monster was carrying. It didn’t really sound like conventional magic”
“It sounds like a gun”
She leaned closer “What’s that?”
Now it’s Sunset's turn to explain things “Some humans carry these weapons which, here, we call guns. Some guns vary in appearance but the basic formula is the same – they shoot ammunition, usually called bullets”
“I’m not sure I follow all that”
“It’s hard to understand it by just having it explained to you. Especially since we don’t have anything like that back home. Here, they’re usually carried by this world’s law enforcement and military force”
“Usually?”
“Yes” Sunset eyebrows lowered and sounded more serious “Usually”
“Are you saying that this monster maybe a member of the human’s guards?”
“That’s not what I meant”
“I know” Twilight stood up from her chair to leave “I just hoped you did”
“Where are you going?”
“Take me to the Princess of this world”
She took a moment to take what she said all in “Are you kidding me?”
“NO I AM NOT KIDDING YOU, SUNSET!”
She raised her hands to Twilight to try to calm her down, her outburst attracted everyone’s attention from the other tables and the counter again “Twilight calm down please, let me explain” she motioned to her seat “Sit down, please”
Twilight sat back down and tried to ignore the judgmental faces of everyone else staring at her. She covered her face with her hands as she went on “I’m sorry- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that- I don’t know what got over me- I’m so sorry”
“Listen to me” Twilight kept her head low when she took a glimpse of her “This isn’t Equestria. We don’t have a princess – if you remember, Princess Celestia here in this world is our High School Principal. Even if I get you the president – which I doubt I even CAN – who’s to say he’ll believe us?”
“He has to, Sunset!”
Now it was Sunset that’s hissing at her to quiet down “Twilight, I need you to think harder for me here”
Twilight sighed at her words. Sunset left her alone when she hid in her head in her arms. Twilight didn’t want to think for a moment and just allowed herself to let out just then – even a little. She felt Sunset’s hand on her shoulder, like it’s telling her that they’re in this together. For just a little while she wept. For just a little while longer she sobbed. For just a little while, she actually felt okay.
“It’s going to be okay, I promise. We’re going to stop this”
Twilight looked up, a few tears flowed from the side of her eyes. She squinted and gave another look to her friend and former enemy. The one who once stole her crown and tried to rule Equestria with its power is now the one drying her tears.
“Hey, let’s get out of here”
Twilight nodded and allowed her to help her stand up. Sunset paid for their drinks on their way out and just walked away from there, not really knowing where to go. Sunset looked up to the sky and stared at the moon for a while giving out its light from atop Canterlot High.
“What was it like here?”
She turned to Twilight, looking a lot calmer “I mean staying here in this world? – this High School?”
“Oh. You know. High School” She laughed a little. Now that she mentioned it, she hasn’t really gave it much thought “Flash and I dated back then”
“Huh?”
Sunset turned back to Twilight again
“- Oh right - Yeah. I remember the girls telling me before”
“… Yeah”
They kept walking towards nowhere in particular. Twilight right then thought it would be good to ask something that’s really nothing in particular “So uh, what happened back then between you two? – If it’s alright to ask of course - that is”
“We better get back to the portal before it closes”
“We?”
Sunset Shimmer’s smile felt so unnatural for her. Probably because this time she feels she’s going to do the right thing “That’s right. If I get a good look at this monster I might be able to help”
Twilight embraced her on the spot. She shifted and then tried to awkwardly return the hug.
“Thank you, Sunset. This means a lot to me”
She could see the school statue not far from them. After this night is over it will be another thirty moons to get back to this world.
“Maybe we should let the girls know”
“You know there’s no time for that”
Twilight let her go so that she can see if she’s really sure of this “There’s no telling what might happen. You don’t have to go with me”
“I’ll be fine” She kept resolute. Her eyes determined and her will immovable, she’s going to Equestria and by Celestia they will get this monster “We’ll be fine”
One thing’s for sure - bat-winged scorpion-tailed lion taste pretty damn fine despite sounding like it came from some poorly translated Asian menu. Or maybe it’s just his stomach talking. Either way this is sure to give Chinese take-out a run for its money.
It was a little while before he remembered that he had company in the form of a mint or teal or whatever pony shivering beside a tree. Jesus, how many colors do these ponies come with? Is this like a collectible thing? That would… that would actually be smart.
The little pony just kept huddled at the tree staring right at him like she’s never seen a man eat a lion with bat wings before. Or maybe she’s hungry too. Yeah that could be it. He pulled out a scoop from the lion’s ribs with his hand and handed it out over to her
“Want some?”
“No thank you”
“You sure? Ribs are always the best part”
She just stared at him and went back to brooding in her corner. Suit yourself. He hasn’t eaten for days and he still went out of his way to share. The magic of friendship, people!
“Umm…”
He stopped chewing on the lion’s liver and looked back at her. He waited for a few seconds before she talked again
“Do all humans… eat animals?”
“Hmm?” Deadpool wiped some of the blood from his mouth “Uh… yes? Well, there are people who won’t eat meat purely out of choice. I don’t know. I don’t care. Why?”
“Nothing”
Deadpool thought for a moment and it came to him “Oh Right! Horses don’t eat meat! I remember”
“Uhh-“
“Well what do you eat? Grass?” he waved his hand to the grass around them “There’s plenty of grass here”
“Ponies don’t eat grass. And meat”
Deadpool glanced at the half eaten lion between them and to its liver on his hand “Heh… This must look pretty horrifying to you huh?” then he took a bite from the liver again.
“Y-Yes…”
He downed the rest of the liver and went back to the lion “Okay” and then pulled some other gib from the lion he sliced open from the neck to the waist down like a frog “But I think we’re far far away from anything edible here except for this one. You ever had bat wings? Me neither.”
After a while of salvaging the dead, Deadpool thought he had enough of his fill and began carry on with the night. He stood up from the half eaten corpse of the lion and turned to the pony who is surprisingly still brooding at her tree. This thing needs something to do “Well! That was refreshing and everything but I do have a schedule to keep. Everyone’s not gonna kill themselves after all. Another day, another dollar for the working man”
Lyra looked on as he started to walk away “Wait. Where are you going?”
Deadpool burped and stopped walking “… Yeah that’s right - Where am I going?”
“Where ever it is, can you take me with you?”
He turned to face her and wondered about the gravity of what she just said. He chuckled and raised his shoulders “What?”
“I want to come with you. Please”
He shook his head “Why?”
“I don’t know”
“Then I don’t care”
“Wait! –“
“Look – You’re lucky enough to be alive just now all thanks to that lion over there. Plus – I know my reputation probably won’t precede me here but haven’t you heard of me?”
“… Thanks to the--? But- you saved me from the manticore!”
“I was hungry and that thing just came out of nowhere”
“But I still owe you my life!”
“What the hell?” What’s wrong with this thing? “Do you have a death wish or something? I may be in a good mood now but that’s not gonna guarantee you a quick and painless death sooner or later. Whether you come with me or not”
“I want to know more about humans and why you are killing everypony. Please, I – I always felt like… like deep inside I’m really a human”
Deadpool facepalmed “I swear, this universe is begging me to destroy it”
“Ever since I was a little filly there are times that I just naturally move in a different way than… well, ponies. Back then I kind of like standing upright and-and even the way I sit and hold things I – even now I – ugh… It’s hard to explain”
She walked towards him and held his scab-ridden hand “And these… they’re called Hands, right? They’re… They’re amazing…”
“Awkwaaard” He took his hand and a step back “You are fucking creepy”
She immediately lunged to his leg along with a ‘woosh’ sound and cartoon dust particles “Please! This is my chance to know more about myself! I risked my life coming to this part of the forest – I left my all friends back home without even saying a word to them – I need to come with you!”
He tried to shake her away from his leg but she just kept clinging while a generic cartoon bell rang along. You know, the sound that plays when you’re trying to shake off something in a cartoon? Because he’s in a cartoon?
She gave him the puppy dog eyes when he stopped shaking her off. Little stars twinkled in those unbelievably huge eyes along with an overdone pout thrown in with a few whimpers for good measure. Just a second ago this thing was scared to death and now she looks like she wants a Scooby snack.
“You’re Insane” but it made him think. This could work. He can’t help but rub his chin and look like he’s thinking real hard in front of her. Yes, this could work. “… You know what? I think I like you”
“THANK YOU!” Her overblown pout morphed into an overblown smile, and started to celebrate by spinning around in front of him while laughing and jumping “THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU – OH THANK YOUU!!” he’s pretty sure she’s dancing or something. Yeah, this must be how horses dance.
For some reason, she reminds him of Pinkie Pie.
“Right…” while Lyra kept fucking around he looked for any sign of her even though he’s sure there won’t be “Well, like I said. Where am I going?”
“I’m sorry, did you say some-”
A looming shadow covered the entire sky and embraced the forest. It enveloped her senses leaving her blind and deaf. She screamed but she couldn’t hear herself screaming. She moved her hooves but she couldn’t feel the ground. Then as soon as it came, the looming shadow vanished and she found herself with him in a different place.
A very different place.
“WAAAH!! AAAHH!” She turned and found themselves stranded in a place with nothing but the barren red ground and the sickly horizon of nothing but strange red shapes moving in the pitch black background totally devoid of light “AAAHH!! AAAAAAHHH!!!! WHERE ARE WE?! AAHH! WHERE?!”
[[Hi there, new friend!]]
“WHO SAID THAT?!” She turned to the human but he just smiled at her “WHO SAID THAT?!?!”
[[I did!]]
She felt the voice coming from behind her - she in no way wanted to but her body turned itself towards it. Her heart feeling like its rising from her chest and all her fur standing straight up, she found herself staring into two fiery red dots at the end of two large voids. Her entire body froze. Her eyes felt like they were going to pop out from their sockets while the world around her looked like it was being sucked into the two voids she’s staring at. A black crescent shape appeared below and for a moment it felt like she was staring into a face
[[Hiiiiii♪♪]]
Deadpool Kills the My Little Pony Universe
Chapter 9: Pinkie Pie Must Die
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Chapter 10: Et Splendor Lunae
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Chapter 11: The Beginning of the End
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Prologue: In the Beginning
Prologue: In the Beginning...
"Well... is this it? did I do it?" a voice trailed off as it travels through the endless abyss of darkness. Falling continuously, the red figure with an attire ripped from every side surrendered to his fate. "Is this what destroying all of existence feels like?... sort of an anticlimax after all I've done"
Very recently Deadpool just defeated Sherlock Holmes and his posse intent on stopping him to carry on his mission, leaving Holmes to slowly fade away from existence as he plummet to his fate, unsure of his next move.
{{What were you expecting?}} a voice inside him answered. It was ominous, the very tone of which reeked of death and strangely despair. There was uncertainty in its voice. Uncertain whether it was content with the fun it had or not of the last few weeks.
"I don't know... maybe like, disappear with existence maybe? I don't know, I didn't really expect to even stay conscious after destroying the universe or something like that"
There was no response. As if his one guide is finally unsure of what to do next himself. It was silent... too silent... maybe this was punishment for killing everyone in the universe? somehow staying somewhere like the negative zone would make up for all the time he killed the Fantastic Four? Maybe he isn't finished, or is he? Is this really what happens when you finally destroy all of existence? Maybe he'll shortly go to the afterlife? Will he still kill everyone there?... No... this place has no God, that he is sure of unless you count maybe Stan Lee as God... hmm.. will he be killing the religion universe next?
"AAAGGH!... this sucks! If I knew this would happen I wouldn't have destroyed the universe in the first place! Fighting the Avengers would be a real treat than hanging around in this dump..."
{{We're not finished}}
"Ah.. well, of course"
{{There's a flux of... presence I can sense that is acting separate from our own. I can feel it only now}}
".... Uhh... What does that mean Doc Brown?"
{{It means we're not finished}}
"Of course. SO, do I use this flux capacitor thingy on my belt to go all De Lorean over there or...?"
{{No need. It seems to be drawing us in}}
"Huh?"
Suddenly in the void, Deadpool can feel a force drawing him in - pulling him from wherever he is. Though he can't see it through the darkness, he can feel a strong pull not unlike what he had experienced a lot lately. In the vacuum of the abyss, Deadpool was sucked into a vortex unseen from the naked eye, bringing him to a place he would not imagine he would be involved with.
