Now this aint your everyday story, see this could be about a depressed girl who kills her self and goes to a magical land full of emo band members, but that’s not it. This is the story of a young man, who is transported to a magical land … that land is, Equestria …
The cool autumn breeze was cool on my skin, I loved how it blew threw my short hair and cooled downed my burning scalp. My name is Tristan Glenn, yea, and such a normal name, nothing special here. I’m 6’1 and 179 pounds, so you could say I’m average on that topic as well, but I beg to disagree. I’ve trained myself to box and wrestle, to tackle in football and to hunt. I’ve taught myself everything sports related, but academics wise … you could mistaken me for a special ed kid while your looking at my report card, even though my IQ is 134 . Anyways were was I ? Oh yea , as the cold wind wipes across my face , making my eyes water as I sit on my porch and sip on my drink .
“ God, I really need a social life. I can’t keep sittin’ on my ass and mope around. “ I say defeated in my mental battle. As I stand up I look to the sky and see a dark storm cloud heading to the middle of the sky.
“ Looks like its goin’ to storm.. So much for goin’ out.” I say adjusting my hat and heading inside. As I head in, I see my pitbull , Buster , round the corner and jump up and starts to lick me .
“Easy boy. I aint been gone but five minutes “ I say with a chuckle. Buster was easily my best friend, he loved me and I loved him no matter what. I would give an arm and leg for this dog, but I knew that his time was nearing the end, since I’ve had him since I was 6 . But I shrug that though off and pet him behind the ear’s.
As I put down the remote the TV , I silently curse , I had let Buster out 30min’s ago . When I go outside, I see that the storm has gotten worse.
“ Shit! Buster must be freezing! “ I say grabbing my jacket and shoes and heading out into the storm. Bad idea, I can’t see shit, and Buster isn’t on the porch.
“ Damnit ! He must have headed out into the forest! “ I say heading into the tall dark forest. It must have been atleast 9pm because I couldn’t see shit.
“ Buster!! Here boy! BUST-er !!” I scream frantically for my dog. I keep hoping that he will appear and lick my hand but after waiting for a couple of mins I trudge forward and start to yell.
“ BUSTER!! COME HERE BOY! BUS- Shiiiittt!!! “ I scream as I walk right off a ledge and fall flat on my back, hitting my head against a rock, knocking me out.
-Ponyville,Equestria-
The bright sun shone down on the small of Ponyville as the ponies below went about their business. But in a tree house near the center of town, were a unicorn named Twilight Sparkle and a dragon named Spike. Their names were now through out town as Twilight was the pupil of the almighty Princess Celestia ruler of the entire country of Equestria .
They were going about their daily life of testing spells and writing reports of their activity to Celestia , that was until a message popped from the gullet of Spike. After skimming over it , he sat there dumbfounder and shock , dropping the letter he ran to the staircase and yelled.
“ TWILLLLLIIIGHT!!!! “
On the parchment laying in an angle, if one had looked at it, all they would have saw is the word ‘Visitor ‘
-Outskirts of Ponyville-
The Everfree , so majestic , but also very wild . Unlike the rest of Equestria , were everything was controlled by ponies in one way or another , the Everfree was by all definitions , wild . So it wasn’t all that strange when a random snowstorm was forming. But this one was different, the weather anomaly, usually confided to the forest, spread to the near by city of Ponyville covering it in snow. But with this snow came a strange being, one the will change life’s either for good or bad.
Being unconscious isn’t so bad; it’s kinda like a forced sleep. But anywho , with sleep comes dreams , but with unconsciousness comes nightmares . Be it the time were I shot a through a deer and into my cousin, or the time were my girlfriend Nichol was killed in a wreck with a drunk driver. What it might be, I awoke from my dazed and nightmarish sleep. As I stand up, I notice that my vision is blurry.
“ Great, a concussion, just what I need. “ I say putting my hands to my head in a failed effort to stop the pain. As I look around I notice that I’m still in the forest, but …this forest looked like a jungle with snow all around, which is startling since Tennessee has no jungles. But , deciding not to question it , I stand up and pull out my compass .
“ …. Well fuck this is useless “ I say as the compass is spinning like the teacup rides at a county fair .
In a bout of rage I throw the useless device .
In the wake of the snowstorm, a butter colored pony named Fluttershy was tending to all of the animals that were displaced during the storm, using her kindness to get close to the startled animals and help their injuries and such , that was until a strange object hits her in the head , knocking her out cold .
_ Tristan’s POV –
After throwing it , I hear the Thwack! Of the compass hitting something , I walk forward , only to see a tiny horse on the ground , with it’s back left leg twitching … And I could say one thing .
“ Why the fuck does it have wings ? “
- Fluttershy’s House , Tristan’s POV-
As I continue to stare at the strange creature , I wonder what depth of cute hell it crawled from , then I remember the fact that it probably now has head trauma and a continuing darkening bruise right above its left ear.
“ Goddamn it … Great Tristan , you just killed a winged horse , owned by some kind of fucking wizard. Oh great and merciful God , what would you like me to do ! “ I yell to no one.
“ NNope” Says a deep masculine voice from behind me. Before I get a chance to turn around , a freight train worth of power hits me in the back , making me head-butt yet another rock , sending me into unconsciousness.
- Somewhere in the state of Tennessee-
As I wait in line to get on the dreaded bus home , I am comforted by the thought that today was Friday and that I was heading to my friend Austin’s house . Now Austin , he knew how to have a good time , be it getting high , or drunk , or dipping while we play GTA V . But he was also a wild card, no one knew what he was thinking or about to do. But , that is why I called him my friend. But today , I wasn’t crazy on drinking or getting high , I just wanted a good ole dip , and he had my shit. As I step on the bus , I see him sitting in the back , next to a girl that had destroyed my heart . Finding a open seat , I sit down and turn around .
“ Yo Austin , move up here with me will ya ? “
- Monday morning , Austin’s POV-
“ Goddamnit. Are you sure ? Yea , his grandmother came and got him . No ma’am , no he didn’t say anything about running away , yea you to .” I click the ‘ END ‘ button on my phone and slide it into my pocket. Today was already going to hell fast , Tristan was missing . As I step out to the bus stop , I hear the swerving of a car , and I turn to be met with a big ass truck .
“ Fuck”
Then Darkness….
-Unknown Location , Unknown Time –
As I awake from another nightmare , my first thought is that I don’t hear banjo’s playing , so I guess taking a dick up the ass is crossed off the lis…. Wait ….
“ WHY THE FUCK AM I NAKED!!! “ I yell , struggling to preserve what dignity I have , only to find my self tied up, I swear if I hear banjo’s … before I can finish my train of thought , a small purple … lizard ?? Nevermind , the purple , thing , walks in and looks at me , then turns to the door way he entered from , and yells
“ Girls , I think he is awake. “
“ Well no shit Sherlock. I would applaud , but , I’m kinda tied up.. “ I say , clearly pissed off.
“ Also , Twilight , he seems to be cursing at me. Like shit and..” He is cut off by a purple … hoof ? Being shoved in his mouth faster that a Korean whore on … you know what ? Nevermind.
“ Spike , what have I told you about sayin…”
“ Uh… “ I say awkwardly , earning a burning glance at me , which egg’s me on.
“ So, Twilight was it ? I’m taking you are in BDSM type shit , eh ? Can’t resist this…” I look down at my growning gut ,and frown, damn cheese-its “ amazing specimen of Homo Saipan” I say adding a bit of a edge to Saipan, making it look dumbfounded.
“ Spike , go down and grab the girls …. “ She says
“ AND MY GODDAMN PANTS!!” I yell as he leaves. To which he responds by tripping down the stairs.
“ Okay you , what in Celestia’s great sun are you ? “ It says to me.. Okay Tristan , time to be serious …
“ I’m Tristan , a Homo Saipan. I would offer you a hand , but I’m naked and tied up “ I say with a sigh . She immediately blush’s .
“ Oh my … Is it always that small … Its smaller than…”
“ Finish that sentence and I will beat you to death with a rusty spoon. “ I say in a dark tone , to which she laughs at..
“ I’m so so sorry , but … ITS SO SMALL “ She ( Assuming it’s a she)bursts out laughing at my manhood , what ?
ITS FUCKING COLD IN HERE .
“ Okay , just let my ass go so I can put on my jeans and walk off this acid trip. “ I say struggling with the bonds , finding that my right hand and left leg can be freed …. Its always nice to have a ace in the hole … Then I notice something , more … small horses are in the room, looking , no , STARING , at my naked form .. Lil me is shrinking more ...
“ Can you let me go …” I say pleading with the purple one .
“ Hmm , why should we ? You put poor Fluttershy in the hospital with a concussion , speaking of which , you aren’t fit enough to go anywhere , you have a small skull fracture and a dislocated left shoulder.” She says all without taking a breath.
“ Then why am I not in pain ? “ I say wiggling my right hand , loosening up the bonds.
“ Magic . “ She answers simply, while walking toward the other group of .. fuck it , I’m calling them ponies , and talking . As I listen in to their conversation I learn that my stuff is in a chest downstairs.
“ So , can I get dressed , and grab my stuff ? “ The stark white one gasps and nearly faints before saying ,
“ Oh goodness no , you were carrying around so many horrid blades , and that one strange looking device.. “ The rest agree. After they have idle chat , most of them leave , except the orange and blue one , apparently the strongest of the group .
“ Twiiillllliiiggghhhhtttt , plllleeeeeassssseeeee????” I beg as she shuts the door to , what I believe to be an attic.
“ No , I’m sorry , but until I get word from Celestia and Luna , your stuck as you are.”
The she is gone.
After waiting for about three hours , I cant hear any movement , so with one swift movement , I rip my arm from the rope , and proceed to untie my self. When I get untied and walk over to the door , I realize something.
The fucking door is looked.
“GODDAMNIT”
