The Jasmine Dragon

Chapters

Add a little SPIN!
Medic!
A Moonlight Stroll
Jam in the Shed
Time to Burn
Good Vibrations
Tea for two
Worlds Apart
Stuck on You
Rivers, rocks and rants
Purple Haze
Flash dance
Echoes of Thunder
Tomorrow's Headlines... Today's Headaches.
Hot news
Scientific Rampage
For Science!
Wakey Wakey!
Grilling while grilling on grilling.
Hot topics.
The Bargain
Hello, goodbye.
The best school is a log.
Heating up
Home?
Green minty unicorn chasing down Iroh...
Confessions from the Dance Floor

Add a little SPIN!

A feminine face coalesces from mists that seem to stretch on forever; eyes glowing faint blue against the background of an unmoving porcelain white mask. “The noble fat man, Iroh, son of Azulon has pleased me greatly.,” her melodious voice proclaimed, echoing through the void.

“He uses his gifts to defend life, to promote peace and balance regardless of who disturbs that balance. However, he defended one of our own -- the incarnation of Moon and held his fellow fire benders back to give the time needed for her rebirth.”

Dissipating the fog high above her, four green eyes blazed to life set on a colossal, craggy face. “The blaze amongst the lotus has done very well for himself indeed,” its resonating voice boomed, cacophonous as an avalanche,. “He earns favour before the stone as well, Bowu. His loyalty to the son of his brother is commendable, misplaced though it might be. He brings power and wisdom, a rare combination indeed,-- especially for a mortal.”

“And the brewed leaves! Don't forget the lovely, tasty, delicious, amazing, tasty brewed leaves!” An odd hairless creature shouted from atop the giant’s shoulder, his dancing form like a demented, hairless, flying lemur, his eyes shining with a mirthful yellow tint.

“You said ‘tasty’ twice there, Nian.” The giant chided, sounding slightly amused with his hyperactive passenger.

“It’s super tasty, Luanshi! Can you not smell its magnificence every time he boils a cup? Tay-ay-yay-STY!” Nian stopped his capering for a moment so he could hug himself at the thought of capturing the delectable steam from Iroh’s cup.

“Yes,” Bowu purred, her face unmoving despite her obviously bemused tone, “we must not forget that marvelous vice of his.But that is not what brings me here today. I wish to grant this mortal a boon, an indulgence if you must. However, I will likely need your assistance.”

“What boon would this be, Keeper of Mist?” the rumbling, sonorous voice of the colossal Luanshi queried, using his fellow spirit’s formal title,. “What would you desire to grant this favoured one amongst mortals?”

"Ooh! A wiiish!" The ecstatic shriek of the impish Nian came, “A wishwish wish-wish WIIISH!" the cavorting was quite audible, even when the demented dancer was barely visible from atop his perch. "Uhhh..." It paused in its dance, "what wish we give the fleshling?"

The combined sounds of two exasperated groans echoed through the mists.

"That is a very good question," grumbled the ephemeral spirit of the mists, "Do either of you two have any idea? Hmmm...” hummed the spirit as she thought to herself.

"Why not make the wish something simple?" Carefully reasoned the largest of the three,. "Let's say, the first wish that passes the mortal’s lips that we have the power to grant. I will most certainly add some of my own might to this worthy cause."

"You would lend your power for my boon?" the lovely voice was shocked. "What an excellent notion, as it gives the mortal a little control, even if he does not know it. It also gives us a way to give him something he wants, and adds just enough mischief to give us some entertainment." She was all but chuckling with glee at the thought of something new and interesting to do.

"Me help too! Me help too!" the impish one called out. "You give wish direction, he gives wish much power, me give wish SPIN! Lovely spiiin spin-spinspinspin spin! Hehe... Spin..."

As the smallest one started his dance again, the other two spirits did not know whether to hang their heads in shame or laugh at his antics. "What, pray tell, do you mean by ah, spin?" The giant inquired bemusedly.

"Wish is like a ball," the reedy voice of the imp chortled, "We give power to make wish bounce far, we use aim to make wish hit the right target, but spin! Lovely, lovely spin make wish change on own, give wish life of its own, make wish bouncy and FUN! Fuuuun! Funfunfun-funfun FUN!"

"That is all well and good," the giant began, "but wha...”

"SSHH!!" the imp stopped dancing to interrupt. "Me smell fun coming! Lookie-look at scrying pool!"

The three huddled around a nearby mirror-like pool, curious to see what the pesky little creature smelled with that stubby little nose of his.

The scene in the pool shifted, first over a village before dropping down to focus on a pair of men.

Meanwhile, in the hills east of Gaipan, the pair were unaware of their audience.

An old man, his beard split into three prongs and greyed with age, smiled lightly as he hefted his pack.

The younger man, his nephew was significantly less cheerful, the left side of his face heavily scarred and a deep scowl set on his face as he slogged ahead of his uncle down the muddy trail.

"Uncle, something bothers me.," the younger man grumbled.

"Zuko, great many things bother you. Perhaps we should stop and make some tea so we can talk it over.," Iroh chuckled amiably, already reaching for the iron teapot tied to the side of his pack.

"Now is not the time for your tea, Uncle. I just want to know-- why do you follow me? I know you have no interest in capturing the Avatar. You were never even officially exiled. So why? What is it you are after?"

"You are interesting to follow, Zuko. Very entertaining for an old man like me, but you are right, there is something I would rather be doing. You could say that I do some of that even now as we are travelling. I am looking for a nice place to settle down for my remaining years. Maybe open a little tea shop and play some Pai Sho while I am at it." Iroh broke into a grin at the thought of playing Pai Sho every day.

Zuko rolled his eyes. His dotty old Uncle Iroh's love for tea and Pai Sho were almost great enough to eclipse his previous fame as the General Iroh, the Dragon of the West, the first General to have ever breached the walls of the very city they were headed for, Ba Sing Se.

"I just wish," his uncle continued to ramble, unaware three spirits' ethereal grins were widening as they leaned closer, to better to hear his desire, "that I could find somewhere like that, someplace nice where they have never heard of the Dreaded General Iroh, Where I could find some peace and spend my days as I choose. Is that so much to ask?"

The three spirits gathered around the scrying pool cheered, unheard by the boy and his uncle. Together they began a chant, casting their spell to give Iroh his wish, or at least the best they could manage...

Trudging on, Zuko didn't even register the lack of noise behind him as Iroh faded out of sight and away from that plane of existence.

Zuko sighed. “It sounds nice Uncle. Nice, but not for me. You do realize how hard it is going to be to find a village like that in the Earth Na..." Zuko trailed off as he turned his head to look over his shoulder.

Behind him, there was no one. Iroh had disappeared. Retracing his steps cautiously, Zuko walked back along the trail a few dozen paces, only to find his uncle's footprints ended abruptly. No sign of a struggle, no sign of leaving the path for a tea break. Nothing.

"Uncle?" Zuko called out, on guard against an ambush; maybe some sort of Earth bender trap.

Seeing and hearing no one nearby, he called louder this time, hoping it was just some kind of crazy joke on his elder’s part. "Uncle!"

"UNCLE!"

With a clap of thunder, a small hole tore open in midair. Several nearby ponies screamed in fright, causing many others to duck for cover or flee the park altogether.

The hole sat there a moment before widening and firing a large, spinning, brown and green ball with a belch, before shrinking back in on itself, and finally vanishing from sight.

The ball hit the fish pond with a crunch, skipping once, twice, and hitting a blackberry bush on the lake's shore with a resounding crash and the clatter of pots and pans before revealing itself to be a pair of legs hanging limply from one side of the shrubbery.

A grey pony nearby, much more used to sudden loud noises than most of the other ponies in the park thanks to her extraordinarily noisy roommate, stood from where she had been sitting on the grass and approached the bush, eyeing the strange legs carefully before parting the bush with her hooves to look inside.

The grey mare looked inside, only to pull her head out and blink her eyes in bewilderment.

Taking a second look to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating, she turned to scan the faces in the crowd, remembering a quirk of one of her fellow musicians. An often annoying quirk at that.

It didn’t take her long at all to spy the bright green form of the resident lyrist and amateur xenobiologist.

"Oh Lyra!" she called out, "I think this needs a little of your expertise on the matter, and I am not talking about your harp!"

"What are you talking about Octavia? I play the lyre, not the ha... ha... hah..." Lyra's annoyed voice trailed off as she looked into the bush that was being held open by the cellist.

Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Within seconds she was so stiff she could easily have been mistaken for a cockatrice victim.

Octavia smirked at the suddenly catatonic minty-green unicorn, ‘Yep, that’s probably a human.’ she thought to herself.

She turned back to the curiously watching crowd. "Can I get a couple of unicorns to help get this creature out of the bush? It looks like he needs some assistance to get out of there, and it does not seem like Lyra will be able to help." She couldn't help but grin wryly as she glanced back at her sometimes annoying colleague.

Stepping forward, several unicorns coordinated to pry the bush apart and levitate the thoroughly scratched and bruised human out and onto the grass.

Octavia eyeballed the human again before looking at the freshly hesitant crowd and the statue-like form of Lyra, still stuck unmoving in front of the bush.

Octavia massaged her nose with a hoof, as she grumbled to herself that she just knows she is going to regret this. Kneeling down, she nosed the human over her head and neck to rest on her back. Grimacing at his weight, she started a steady trot towards the hospital.

"You better be friendly," Octavia groused as the crowd parted before her, shying away from contact with Iroh, "because you are certainly not light... ugh!"

On an ethereal plane slightly to the left of Equis, two spirits glared down at their excitable counterpart, their displeasure with the little imp readily apparent.

"Uhhh..." Niam stammered as his large ears drooped in embarrassment. He held up his thumb and fore claw a few millimetres apart "Too much spin?"

Author's Note

I somehow managed to acquire an editor from Overly Extensive Editors. Much thanks to IRpony, I will be replacing chapters with newer, edited versions as they are finished.

Medic!

Much thanks to Stitchentyme for the proof reading and the suggestions on reordering this chapter so that it flows better

Staggering in through the front door of the Ponyville Hospital, Octavia gasped out with a call for help to the nurse at the desk before collapsing under the weight of her unconscious passenger. Nurse Redheart rushed out from behind the desk, followed rapidly by Nurse Snowheart and one of the orderly unicorn stallions often kept on duty to deal with the heavy lifting or when one of the patients or guests got too out of hand.

As Snowheart saw to Octavia, helping her to a bench to rest and fetching her water to drink the orderly levitated the unconscious Iroh onto a stretcher. "Take it to room four, Steel Crescent, I'll go find the doctor and get him down here."
Redheart briskly ordered the periwinkle unicorn before turning and cantering towards the stairs.

"Yes ma'am" was the only utterance from Steel Crescent as he began levitating the now loaded stretcher down the hallway towards the treatment rooms and out of sight.

"Now, I simply must know," the gossipy Nurse Snowheart began once the room was clear of all but herself and the slowly recovering Octavia, "where in the world did you find that creature? I've never seen anything like it outside of one of Fluttershy's monkeys in her menagerie."

"I'm pretty sure it is what is called a human," Octavia gave a weak smile, the opportunity for civilized conversation brightening her afternoon somewhat, "at least that is what Lyra calls them. I have heard her describe them often enough after rehearsing a piece, that it could hardly have been anything else."

"Alright, so it's one of Miss Heartstring’s fanciful creatures come to life, that's amazing in itself but where did it come from? It can't have just fallen out of the sky you know." At this, Octavia could not help but to break into laughter as she did her best to explain that that was precisely how the human had appeared.

Meanwhile, in a treatment room nearby, Doctor Stable carefully peeled the creature's clothing back one layer at a time so as to get to the bleeding wounds that lay underneath.

“Nurse Redheart,” he spoke calmly as he concentrated on his work, “would you be a dear and fetch me some more disinfectant and bandages? I should be fine here since it looks as though it has had no adverse reactions to the sedative.”

“Yes, doctor,” she replied already on her way out the door and on her way to the supply closet.

“My, my... Well we know you are a primate of some kind my friend.” he spoke conversationally to the unconscious Iroh.

Finally removing the final layer, he gave a light chuckle, “and a stallion at that. No need to worry my good fellow, we’ll soon have you patched up and out of here.”

Floating a clipboard and quill closer, he started dictating to himself, a bad habit he had picked up over the years.

“Subject is primate like in nature, possibly related to the yeti in some way. Male, with grey hair covering his face and head as well as at the junctions of both sets of limbs with the body. Paws on all four limbs, the lower paws being elongated with stubby digits, the forepaws having five long digits, with rudimentary claws on the end of each one…”

As the doctor carried on his monologue, Nurse Redheart re-entered the room and set to work disinfecting the deeper of the scratches on Iroh’s arms, carefully bandaging each limb as she finished.

Having finished his note taking, the doctor turned to Nurse Redheart. “Would you be kind enough to go through the saddlebag he came in with while I take care of his back? It may hold some clue as to his name.”

“His name?” the nurse wondered aloud.

“Of course his name.” the doctor responded. “You’ll find that most creatures that have the mental capacity to wear clothes of some kind will often have clues as to their identity. This is doubly true if they carry a saddle bag for travel as this one seems to.”

Nurse Redheart turned and pawed at the buckle on the bag for a moment before unlatching it, the buckle being much smaller than she was used to dealing with.

Opening the bag, she found sitting on top a collection of round canisters, reminiscent of steel jam jars. Setting one down on the floor, she gripped it firmly with her fore hooves while grabbing the lid with her teeth. An expert twist of her neck later, the canister audibly popped open releasing the most heavenly aroma she had smelt in a long time.

The canister contained dried and shredded leaves which were emitting that sweet aroma. Closing it back up, the nurse tried each of the canisters in turn, each one holding a slightly different type of dried leaf.

“Doctor Stable, I think he might be a trader of some kind. He has containers filled with if I’m not mistaken, tea leaves, loads and loads of tea leaves.”

“Interesting… what else is there?” The doctor did not look away from his work, preferring to carry on patching up the wounds on Iroh’s back and the backs of his legs which for some reason were tending more towards dark bruises rather than scratches.

The nurse turned back to the bag, announcing each item as she pulled it out. “Clothes, more clothes, some cups, more clothes. Hmm a box and there was a board of some kind underneath. Feels like very thick parchment to me.”

Setting the box on the floor, she puzzled out the latch on the front, allowing her to open the box. “There are discs inside all marked with some kind of flower, doctor. No idea what they could mean though, perhaps pieces for a game?”

“No sign of parchments or scrolls in there? Nothing with any writing?”

“A small bag of metal discs in the side pocket. They look as though they could be some kind of an odd version of bits.”

“Very well, pack his things away again and place them in the corner for now. I’m almost done here, and it appears the poor fellow was very lucky. No signs of a concussion or any other head wounds other than the scratches he got from landing in that bush.”

As the nurse finished packing the last of Iroh’s effects back into his bag, Doctor Stable spoke up again. “I think that I shall go and pay a quick visit to Miss Fluttershy presently, being our resident animal expert, she may have some insight into who or what this fellow is. Will you be OK dealing with the other patients while I am gone?”

“Of course doctor.” the nurse stated primly, “I shall get on with my rounds then. See you when you get back.”

The doctor trotted out of the room and soon after out of the hospital, heading for the path out towards the Everfree Forest and the cottage belonging to Fluttershy on its edge.

In front of a particular slightly mangled blackberry bush, a bird flutters down to perch on a green horn, settling down for a rest as the sun sets in the distance.

'I wonder why those ponies put a statue here of all places' she wonders to herself.

A few moments later, the bird flies away at the sound of approaching hooves. A stallion in a flower print shirt crests the hill, a white filly with a bi-color mane cantering at his side to keep up with his much longer stride. His bushy brown eyebrows rise in concern as he spots the form of Lyra standing in the same position she had been in for some hours now.

"Miss?" He called out to the unicorn, "Miss Lyra? Why are you still here?" Getting no response he moves and puts a fore hoof on her shoulder only to jerk back in surprise as she bursts into action.

"GAH!" Lyra exclaims, "That’s a HUMAN!"

Shaking her head vigorously again, Lyra looks back into the bush. "Huh? Where'd it go?" Looking up and noticing the empty and rapidly darkening park around her, she blushes. 'Oh sweet Celestia! I didn't space out in front of all those ponies did I?' she thinks to herself, almost rhetorically.

"Where did what go, Miss Lyra?" Magnum asks, Sweetie Belle at his side looking on curiously.

Lyra rears up for a moment in excitement flailing her hooves as she exclaims "There was a human, a real live human right here!"

"Is that what that critter was called? I heard about it being found somewhere around here. Is that right?"

"It was here!" Lyra gesticulated at the bush. "It was up there, and it was spinning like a ball and then it crashed down on the lake, but it didn't go underwater, it bounced, bounced like a ball! Maybe humans have powers that make them bounce, like a pegasus flies! Oooh wouldn't that be cool? Bouncing everywhere maybe a little bit like a rabbit or something maybe that’s why they have toes!"

As Lyra once again slipped into one of her trademark fanciful rants about a creature he had never seen before, Magnum quietly levitated the awestruck Sweetie Belle onto his back while the little filly all but went cross eyed trying to understand the nonstop stream of consciousness emitting from Lyra's muzzle.

Backing slowly away, both his and Sweetie Belle's eyes locked on the verbose mare, Magnum headed towards the path out of the park again and back on the way to Sweet Apple Acres where his younger daughter and her two friends were to have a sleepover that night while Rarity and her five friends accompanied headed north on another one of their crazy adventures no doubt.

Back in the park, Lyra finally ran out of steam and looked back around, only to find the park deserted. Deprived of an audience for her theories, she instead turned to the much more interesting dilemma of finding her newest research specimen - FRIEND! Lyra told herself sternly. 'We make friends first, AND THEN we get to the fingers...'

Lyra mentally trailed off again as she started to drift into a daydream about learning how fingers worked. NO! I've got to find the human first. Looking more carefully around the park before circling the blackberry bush a couple of times just to be sure, she began her hunt - for a friend of course... heh heh...

"Now if I were a human, where would I go in Ponyville?" she wondered aloud. "Oh duh! Sugarcube Corner!" Her destination and quarry firmly in mind, Lyra lights her horn to help light her way in the twilight and sets off for her sweet, sweet destination and its delicious cupcakes - 'HUMAN!' She refocuses her mind, 'Human first, cupcakes second!'

Amongst the mists between worlds, an argument has begun between three very different beings.

“If you hadn’t been so obsessed with your thrice cursed ‘spin’ the human would not have been hurt! We were supposed to grant his wish! Not give him his peace through the afterlife!” raged a female voice through the murk, some of the vapours taking on a distinctly orange tone as her anger gathered strength.

“Spin?! Spin not do that to fleshy flesh bag! That was power! Too much power!” the imp danced back and forth pointing his gnarled arm in the direction of the towering giant amongst their group.

“The power was just fine.” Argued the giant. “Any less and we could not have taken him across worlds. If you ask me, this was all a matter of precision and isn’t precision your department my dear?”

“My aim was perfect,” she snootily responded, “as always. This time someone just HAD to move the target. What were you thinking? So much spin meant there was no way he could have had a safe landing!”

The spirit of the mists shrieked in outrage as the circular argument began anew, their voices echoing into the empty distance.

In a candle lit cottage within the Everfree Forest a striped head looks up from her simmering cauldron jerkily, its green glow adding an eerie shine to her suddenly glassy eyes.

“A great beast comes to mortal’s friend,
Its will denied, a world shall end.
His student returned to realm afar,
Just reward undone before falling star.”

Swaying in place for a moment, the zebra shakes her head dazedly before rushing over to a workbench to transcribe the words that had just come to her unbidden before they could be forgotten.

A stone clatters along the Gaipan trail as a confused and desolate Zuko hikes onward alone. Having spent several hours searching and calling for his Uncle, there was no sign of the old man at all. Trying to stay alert for Earth Kingdom patrols or bounty hunters was not an easy task as he worried at the problem of where Uncle Iroh had gone. Why did he disappear? And just as importantly, did he disappear willingly?

"It would be just like the old man to do this to try and teach me some kind of lesson." Zuko grumbled to himself, even though he had been separated from the tea drinking fool before, just west of the Si Wong desert. That time, Zuko had been the one to walk away, though his uncle had followed him secretly, keeping an eye on him.

'So be it,' he thought, 'if Uncle is going to pull this on me now, I'm going with the original plan. I'll find some way to get into Ba Sing Se and find him, the Avatar or both.'

Cheered somewhat by his resolution, he picked up his pace, almost unable to keep himself from humming one of Iroh's tunes.

"It's a long, long way to Ba Sing Se but the girls in the city they look so... WHAT AM I DOING?!" Zuko held his head in his hands. "That's it; drinking Uncle's stupid hot leaf juice is starting to drive me as crazy as a badger-mole!"

Now back in his much more typical grouchy demeanour, he continued stalking down the trail.

Author's Note

EDIT: No more posting before proofreading for me.

A Moonlight Stroll

Iroh pondered his situation as he wandered the moonlit streets of the strange town he found himself in.

He could tell even in the low light that the architecture was like nothing he had seen before; thatched roofs and glass paned windows with shutters. Gardens in front of every house and different colored low fences completed the boundary of each home, most with a rounded box that had a small red flag nailed to the side.

Each and every house was painted with different colors, some were even customized further, following themes that made no sense at all to the old man.

An excellent example was a home just ahead which at first glance appeared to be a massive tree, only for its actual purpose to be belied by the moonlight glinting off the panes of its windows and the small telescope he could see sitting on a balcony in its upper reaches.

What manner of being were these colorful ‘ponies’?

Spirits? No, they were far too uniform of the body to be spirits, not to mention the colors here were far too vivid for there to be any chance of this place being in the spirit world where colors seemed to drain away before the mortal eye.

Animals? Ha! These ponies were far too intelligent to be mere animals, the nurse he had cowed and interrogated in the hospital spoke well enough that if he had closed his eyes, he could easily have imagined he had been speaking to another human - one that had about the same courage as a toddler, but her speech had been far more advanced than any animal capable of mimicry he had ever heard of.

Walking into an open area, he looked around at the wooden stalls that surrounded the square, marking it as a market. The signs above each stall extolling its wares with a simple image of its primary product, he spotted apples, carrots, celery and cabbage and many other fruits and vegetables from where he stood alone.

A fountain ran in the middle of the square, its water making a faint sound as it trickled down through several bowls. A quick and cautious taste test found the water to be relatively clean, several double handfuls later found it quite refreshing. Rapidly, Iroh withdrew a trio of waterskins from the side of his bag, emptying one which still had tepid, lesser quality water in it from a river he and Zuko had passed.

As he held each bag under the running water, he took the time to try and identify some of the more exotic produce pictured above the stands, or the stores the stood behind many of them. Several were easy - flowers there, the hammer and anvil of a blacksmith over to the side, - others not so easy - one store’s sign depicted a feather and what looked like a long chair, another a trio of bottles.

Having drunk his fill and replenished his water bottles, Iroh stood and carried on, searching for more clues as to exactly where he was.

At this hour, the marketplace was of course deserted as he strode through it. Iroh was just more than halfway across the market when something struck him, or more to the point it struck him that something hadn’t struck him; there was little to no smell here! No smell of ostrich-horses used to haul carts, no smell of rotting fish, meat or vegetables, no smell of unwashed bodies having passed through in the heat of the day, nothing but the smells wafting in from the nearby garden flowers.

“Dragon’s Mercy!” he breathed to himself as he thought back to what he had seen at the hospital. The desperate green one who had burst into his room had been subdued within seconds. The spike they had driven into her leg had rendered her unconscious almost immediately and with little or no visible injury!

It was entirely possible that wherever he was, the knowledge of healing techniques these ponies possessed was far beyond what he knew the Earth and Fire nations were capable of.

He shuddered as he realised the implications of such an odorless marketplace. If they were capable of bending, they might even have healing techniques that could surpass the vaunted skills of the Southern Water Tribe at the height of their power before the war. The near immaculately swept ground of the marketplace certainly suggested the attention of air benders or water benders as part of the cleaning crew for this area.

Noting a faint glint out of the corner of his eye, Iroh smiled lightly as he noticed a coin sitting slightly underneath one of the stalls.

Iroh diverted his path to snag the coin from out of its hiding place. Taking it as a small sign of fortune that he should go in that direction, he left the marketplace along the nearest street and followed the path between the increasingly randomly placed homes.

The sound of two women laughing broke the quiet of the night a little way off to his right. The window the laughter was coming from was immediately apparent as being the only one around that still had light coming from inside.

Iroh debated with himself as to whether he wanted to risk discovery by listening in, considering he was by no means as agile as Zuko.

His mind was made up for him when he made out the word human amongst the chatter. Taking care not to enter the area illuminated by the window, he crouched down and sidled along the fence of the home so that he could get nearer.

When he was happy that he was close enough, he took a quick glance over the top of the fence and into what was most likely a kitchen of some kind to get a quick look at his unsuspecting marks. The one of the left was a light cream color with dark blue hair that had a wide stripe of pink down the middle. Her hair was curly and seemed to have more volume to it than was suggested by the size of its owners head.

The other one at the table had wild spiky hair with alternating light and dark blue spikes, her fur otherwise being a similar color to her companion. As she turned her head to look off to the side a moment while her companion was telling a story of some kind to laugh again, and then settle into her seat at a different angle, Iroh noticed her eyes were a deep red, and that there was a small horn protruding from the centre of her forehead.

"... so then, there she was, reared up on her hind legs, trying to stand there with only her hind legs with trousers on them and these socks on her forelegs, except they looked like they were made for claws." The curly haired one was chuckling, hardly able to contain her laughter, her spiky haired companion grinning widely across the table from her. "She was standing there posing in the mirror, and she sees me standing at the door when she says 'Oh hey Bonbon, what do you think of my human style hand socks?'"

Bonbon brought her hoof to her mouth to attempt to stifle her laughter as her friend chuckled appreciatively at the scene that the curly haired mare evoked.

Iroh quietly sat down on the other side of the fence, out of line of sight, but well within earshot of the chattering mares. He was in a strange situation, and information, even the apparent gossip of a couple of ponies, was always good.

"So what about that human that Octy found?" the one with the spiky hair asked, "Did you manage to see it?"

"Uh uh," came the slightly disappointed reply, "I was at my stall in the marketplace when it happened. I heard a dozen rumors before I even closed up shop for the day and some of them were just plain crazy!"

"So what did you hear? I usually sleep until the crack of midday."

"'The crack of midday?'" The one called Bonbon sounded confused.

"I have to work until really late at night all the time. Occupational hazard of partying ya know?"

"Oh. Yes of course you would have to work late." Bonbon sounded a little jealous to Iroh's ears. "I heard he bounced into town on a giant ball, then somepony said he was the ball. I think the best one I heard today was that he was so ugly that Lyra took one look at him, and her mind broke! Bah ha ha hah!"

It took a bit for Iroh to restrain himself from standing up and defending his majestic countenance at that point while the mares were laughing once again.

“So what did happen to Lyra when she saw it? I bet it was wild!”

“When Octavia looked in the bush after that human had crashed into it, she remembered about Lyra always talking about these things and calling them humans. Considering it looked like a shaved yeti in clothes, she figured it was a safe bet it was one of Lyra’s humans.” Bonbon was clearly enjoying her narrative.

“So she took a quick look around the park and spotted her sitting on a bench in the same pose she uses when she plays her lyre. Of course, she called her over and told her to look into the bush.”

“And? What happened?” Bonbon’s companion asked, her voice laden with anticipation.

Bonbon’s voice was deadpan. “She looked into the bush and then just froze in place.”

“What? That’s all? She just froze up? Laaaame!”

"For hours. I heard she didn't come back to herself until it was nearly sunset."

"Wow."

“Yeah, well with a reaction like that from Lyra of all ponies, everypony else backed right off, and Octavia couldn’t get anypony to help her carry him up to the hospital to get looked at.”

“Why the hospital? Surely landing in a bush isn’t that bad? I mean we’ve just about all done something like that when we were fillies.”

“Ever see a pegasus hit a lake hard enough to bounce off the water instead of diving in?”

“OUCH! Yeah, ok, that’s a hospital trip.”

Deciding he had heard enough for the moment, it was time to take his battered dignity and find somewhere to hide out for a while to regain his strength. A little food wouldn't hurt either, now that he thought about it.

His course decided, Iroh rolled to his knees on the soft grass, and from there, half crawled a short distance until he was sure he would not be spotted by the two as he stood up again.

Another 20 minutes of random wandering found Iroh gazing upon a small shed located behind a house on the outskirts of town. Its grass was significantly longer than its neighbors, and its garden beds littered with weeds, a fair indication, he thought, of the house being unoccupied. Just in case the owner of the home was simply lazy, Iroh planned to use this shed to take a rest instead of the house. No need to take unnecessary risks.

Being careful not to make too much sound, Iroh opened the door and slipped inside of the shed, closing the door behind him..

A small ball of fire burst into life over the palm of his hand as Iroh took quick stock of the shed. An old, battered, and very dusty workbench sat against the far wall, tools arrayed on a board low along the wall next to it. The floor was plain dirt, tightly trampled down in several areas of where the owner had habitually stood.

Satisfied that he was alone, Iroh extinguished his light and sat down on the floor, leaning against one of the walls of the shed. Opening his bag, he ran practiced hands over the canisters of tea he kept in there. “Three to the left and at the front,” Iroh murmured, “a nice cup of ginseng tea or two will be excellent to help me relax.”

He pulled the canister out, also removing a mug from his pack, as well as one of his newly filled waterskins. He set the canister and mug on the floor in front of him, and re-lit his small fiery light source as he removed the cap on his waterskin with his teeth, pouring enough water for his tea into his mug carefully by fire-light.

Dismissing the fire again, he unscrewed the lid with two hands and set the canister back down, scooping his mug up by touch. Breathing in then out, very deliberately, he used his fire bending skills to heat the water in his mug, a trick he was very proud to have figured out after years for studying the techniques of water benders for useful insight into his own skills.

He shifted one hand to the handle of the mug, and used his left to carefully find and then reach into the container of ginseng powder to take up a pinch and sprinkle it into his mug. Groping to his left for the lid, he picked it up and screwed it back onto the canister while he waited for his tea to steep and cool to a drinkable temperature.

Sensing the heat was about right, Iroh brought the cup to his lips only to sputter in surprise. This was his valerian tea - a calming tea that was also a mild sedative! He wanted to relax and think a little, not go to sleep!

Placing his mug on the floor and out of the way, Iroh went through the canisters of tea one at a time, opening each one and taking a sniff of its contents.

The containers were all mixed up. It was obvious that someone had been through his bag while he had been knocked out. Checking that the rest of his things had been also been rifled through, he removed a shallow metal bowl and sprinkled some sawdust into it, igniting the sawdust with barely a second thought.

His clothes were all still here, his teas and cups present and intact. The pocket sewn into the bottom of the bag seemed to be untouched, and his papers still sealed into the waterproof pouch they were stored in. Coming to his purse, he remembered the coin he had picked up during his wanderings through the town.

Removing the coin from the fold in his obi, he examined it closely. The coin was larger than those he was familiar with, also lacking the hole in the centre that was often used to string the coins of his homeland together. On one side was the number one, the letters above it proclaiming the coin to be, ‘one bit’. The number was flanked by strands of leaves, and on the other side of the coin, there was half of a stylized sun partially overlaid by the image of a bird that had spread its wings across the other half of that side of the coin.

‘Certainly not Earth Kingdom, even though that one before called herself an Earth Pony’, Iroh thought to himself as he repacked his backpack correctly this time, with each canister of tea in its proper place.

‘There is no help for it now’, he mused, ‘first I must find out whether the locals are friendly. If they are good, I could use a break but I must also find Zuko again before that hot head does something he will regret later.’

‘If not, that could be a problem, there is a very good chance that they will be able to outrun me. I’ll just have to hope they do not possess any bending skills and work my way on from there.’

His mind on plans and counter-plans for dealing with the natives tomorrow, he reached over to his mug of tea absentmindedly and took a sip. Grimacing at its bitter taste, he reheated it slightly and proceeded to finish it off. No use letting good tea go to waste after all…

It was several hours later that Bonbon looked out of the window to see the sun had risen. She had sat up talking with Vinyl all night!

With a groan, she realised that she would have to work through the day on no sleep at all. Something she had done several times in the past, though never voluntarily, usually due to the hijinks of her roommate Lyra and one of her harebrained scheme to imitate her beloved humans in some weird and wonderful manner.

Vinyl looked out the window with her and chuckled slightly, guessing her thoughts. “Tell you what, why don’t you go and take a nap for a few hours in my room. I’ll go put a note up on your stall that you will be opening late today.”

“Oh would you?” Bonbon was relieved, a couple of hours sleep would still leave her tired, but she would at least be able to function for the rest of the day.

“No problem,” Vinyl was already levitating a quill and sheet of parchment over.

Scratching down a quick note - Opening at 12 today. Bonbon. “Here ya go, will this work for you?” Vinyl held up the parchment with a flourish, showing off her… less than stellar script.

Bonbon gave a weak smile, “That will work. Thank you so much for this, I thought I would have to work through today on no sleep, and that isn’t fun especially when you are haggling with customers.”

“It’s all good. I’ll go and stick this on your stall, you head on upstairs and crash. I’ll make sure you get up in a bit, alright.” With a grin, the DJ trotted out the kitchen, and shortly after, out the front door while the confectioner stumbled up the stairs to collapse into a bed.

The sun having just risen, Vinyl found herself the first pony in the marketplace that morning.

Glancing about the deserted square as she made her way over to the stall where Bonbon sold her candy and other tasty treats, Vinyl noted something strange amongst all the usual hoof prints and cart tracks in the dirt.

A single solitary set of prints that seemed to meander through the square that did not match any she had not seen before. Pushing the parchment onto a handy nail that was sticking out of the wooden beam, holding up the small roof that protected the goods from any stray rain, she turned to kneel and look more closely at the prints.

They were long and flat, more than double the length of the hoof print of a pony and with no central hollow section at all. Her eyes widened as she realised there was only one thing these prints could belong to. It seemed the human was up and about and was wandering about the town.

Following the tracks in one direction led her towards the exit to the market that was closest to the hospital, so it was a fair bet that he was headed in the other direction. Other ponies were starting to enter the square to set up their stalls for the day, some of them looking askance at the off-white DJ as she wandered the area with her nose pointed at the ground, a frown of concentration on her face.

“Excuse me miss,” came the voice of one the three sisters that ran the flower stall, “what are you doing?”

“Ah not much,” Vinyl said without really paying attention, “just following these human tracks...”

Author's Note

Thanks to Avatar of Madness for reducing the madness of my work, (and also the excellent proofreading/editing)

Jam in the Shed

“Excuse me miss,” came the voice of one the three sisters that ran the flower stall, “what are you doing?”
“Ah, not much,” Vinyl said without really paying attention, “just following these human tracks...”

Chaos reigned amongst the ponies in the marketplace within seconds of the words leaving Vinyl Scratch’s mouth. Meanwhile, the Canterlot raised mare stood in the street, her head tilted slightly to one side, her face blank and more than a little disbelieving of the sheer panic in the admittedly small crowd of ponies.

“Seriously? I heard country ponies were flighty, but that’s just not right...” The DJ was speaking in the direction of the panicked ponies for all the good it did her, they were too wrapped up in their own fear and finding some place to hide to pay attention to her.

Figuring she had a couple of hours to burn and these ponies would be useless for a little while, she might as well see how far she could follow the tracks. After all, if she could rock with a minotaur, a human couldn’t be that hard to deal with.

It was easy enough to follow the trail of the human, his shoe prints were massive compared to the hoof prints of a pony and the ground was moist enough from the spring showers over the last few days to leave a good print.

Coming to a point where his tracks seemed to end, she noted the deep shoeprints in the dirt and a couple of handprints nearby - definitely NOT a pony - looking up from the prints, she blinked in surprise as she recognised the colors.

This - this was her house, in fact, it looked like he had sat there for a while, resting at some point last night, maybe even eavesdropping on her conversation with Bonbon!

Backtracking a little to the edge of her fence, she hunted around a little before she picked up the trail again headed in a slightly different direction. ‘I wonder where else he’s been,’ she thought, ‘this could turn out to be interesting…’

Iroh woke to the sensation that he was sleeping on the softest bed he had ever felt so soft in fact, that he could hardly even feel it. Yawning widely, he rolled over. That is - he tried to roll over, but he did not move. His brow furrowed in concentration, and he tried to roll over again.

“Mornin’” came a casual female voice, “nice night for a stroll wasn’t it?”

Iroh opened one eye, his blurry vision slowly resolving into a view of two large, half lidded red eyes set in a whitish face watching him from several inches away. Blinking a couple of times and opening both eyes as he did so, he came to the realization that yes, yes there was a red-eyed pony right in front of him, with a horn in the middle of her forehead glowing an electric blue.

A cautious look around told him that he was still in the same shed he had taken shelter in last night, and that he was currently floating several inches off the floor.

“Yesterday was not my day…” Iroh began, “Is today looking any better?”

“Depends… you as mean as you’re ugly?”

“You are no prize yourself, miss air bender. I am just an old man who seems to be a little lost.”

“Now that has got to be the most interesting thing I have heard in a long time.” She ended her levitation spell abruptly, causing Iroh to fall to the ground with a short cry and a thump, followed by a small wheeze of pain.

“Oh right… hospital escapee. You good?”

“I’ll live,” Iroh groaned as he sat up, massaging the small of his back, “but was that really necessary?”

“You dissed my awe inspiring beauty, of course it was!” Vinyl’s cheeky grin was growing again. “So. You got a name? Or do I get to give you one?”

“Iroh.” The old man announced as he turned and started fishing through his bag, keeping one eye on the rather forward mare. “Now for the important question, do you drink tea?”

Vinyl blinked at the non-sequitur, “Well yeah, but not much though. I prefer juice.”

“Good enough.” Iroh half muttered as he loaded several pinches of powder from different canisters into his teapot, followed by a good amount of water from one of his skins.

Retrieving a mug from his pack and setting it before himself, he gave a dubious look at the pony standing in the doorway in front of him before setting out a second mug.

“You drink your tea cold? I know its good like that in the summer when its hot, dude, but its way too cold out now… for…”

Vinyl trailed off as she watched Iroh pour the steaming tea into her mug.

“Woah! Magic teapot? That’s pretty wild.”

Iroh raised an eyebrow at this. “Considering there was only one known air bender in the world before I met you, I could say the same thing about you.”

“What’s an air bender?” This was of course asked at the perfect moment for Iroh to receive a lungful of hot tea.

It took a minute for him to get over his coughing fit, cursing himself for being taken by surprise so completely. “If…” *ahem* “If you were not floating me by using air bending, then what were you using?”

“Uh… magic? You know? Levitation?” Vinyl didn’t know whether to be amused or concerned. Here she was talking with a human who used a magic teapot, and he didn’t know about levitation?

“And what is this ‘air bending’ anyway? That's the third time you have mentioned it, and I still have no idea what you mean.”

Iroh stopped and tried to think this through logically. “Do you know anything about bending? Anything at all?”

“Um… I know about benders, I go on them every now and then with some of my friends to ya know, get drunk and stuff, but I get the feeling that that is not what you are talking about at all.”

Iroh took a slower sip of his tea as he collected his thoughts. “Among my people, there are those born with the ability to manipulate one or more of the four major elements - fire, water, earth and air. Sometimes small variations in these abilities arise, such as sand or mud bending, but we will ignore them for now.”

Slipping into his lecturing mode, the words came more easily to Iroh now, “To bend an element means different things to different users. To some, it is a partnership, to others, they command their element by forcing it to obey their will. For most, it is somewhere in between. To all of them, it allows them a degree of control with their element that can be used for many things.”

“Right,” Vinyl drawled, “So its magic relating to a certain talent.”

Iroh pinched the bridge of his nose. “I get the feeling we are painting with different brushes.”

“Painting what now?”

“It is a metaphor, we each have knowledge the other does not and it is confusing us.” Iroh dismissed, “would you care to come into sit and discuss? I suspect this conversation will take some time and patience on both our parts.”

“TIME?!” Vinyl backed out slightly to turn her head and look at the sun steadily rising in the sky. “Oh man, I was supposed to do something, and I’m gonna be late!” She looked back and forth between the direction of town and Iroh, dancing on her front hooves.

“You stay here, or better yet, go into the house. The donkey who lives there is away on vacation, I think, and it’s nicer in there. Just don’t mess with her stuff. I’ll come back and jam with you later.”

Before Iroh could open his mouth fully to agree or disagree, Vinyl raced away from the shed and back in towards town.

Blinking a couple of times at her speedily retreating form, only one thing seemed to pop into his head, ‘What is a donkey?’

It was shortly before noon when a haggard Zuko stumbled into a village on the shore of West Lake. It was one of two lakes that bordered Serpent’s Pass, the thin strip of land connecting the Northern edge of the Si Wong desert to the territory dominated by the great walled city of Ba Sing Se. His tired eye glanced over the shop fronts that made up the main street of the small fishing village.

Pausing a moment, he looked at the last few shops he had passed a second time. That last shop he had passed was a tea shop, much like the one his Uncle Iroh had been so vocally dreaming of opening scant moments before his disappearance almost two days ago now.

A wave of nostalgia for his uncle hit him, shortly by a half forgotten memory of several sessions of seemingly nonsensical training. With a grimace at what he was about to do, he turned back and walked into the tea shop.

Nodding faintly at the gaunt man at a pai sho table who had looked up at him as he passed, he approached the old man sitting behind the counter where several kettles sat steaming slowly over hot coals.

Zuko looked at the small list set on the wall, proclaiming around a dozen varieties of tea and their prices. Making a choice, he slid a couple of coins onto the counter. “Keemun tea, please.”

The coins were scooped up, and the man wordlessly turned, filling a wooden cup with the sweet tea that smelled slightly of plum, and placed it on the counter before him.

Zuko nodded his thanks as he took up the cup and wandered back across the teahouse to gaze at the pai sho board that the thin man was studying.

“You play pai sho, boy?” The words of the man were gruff, yet friendly at the same time, somewhat matching his rail thin figure and wild, spiky brown hair.

“A little,” Zuko admitted, taking a sip of.his tea. ‘Hmm, not bad. I wonder why uncle doesn’t keep any of this tea in his stock?’

The older man eyed him speculatively. “Care for a game then? I’ve met precious few players here these days.”

At Zuko’s nod of assent, the older man made a few markings of a sheet of parchment that had been sitting to his side and then cleared the board for a new game.

Placing a box of pieces in front of the seat across from him, the man made a slight sweeping gesture, as though he was being very generous, “You may make the first move.”

Zuko flicked through the round chips, looking at several carefully for a moment before placing a chip with a stylized lotus bloom in the centre of the board.

The man frowned down at the board before raising a shaggy eyebrow at Zuko.

“I see you favor the White Lotus gambit. Not many cling to the ancient ways.”

The boy gave a shrug, “My uncle taught me that those who do can always find a friend.”

The man’s frown deepened into a scowl for several seconds as he considered the words of the young man in front of him before a slow smirk creased his features.

Without breaking eye contact with Zuko, he reached into his own box and withdrew a piece and very deliberately placed it near the edge of the board. “Then let us play.”

The quiet clicking of pieces was the only sound in the shop for the next several minutes, sweat forming on Zuko’s brow as he concentrated on mimicking the pattern his uncle had drilled into him with surprising ruthlessness, despite never completely answering his reasons for doing so.

The scarred young man gave a sigh as he placed a final piece, completing the image made from pieces on the board. It resembled and eight pointed star, or more precisely, the picture of the flower bloom on the White Lotus piece still sitting in the middle of the board.

The old man stared at the board for several seconds, glancing up a few times at Zuko’s weary face.

He stood from his seat and growled out “Come with me.” before turning on his heel and striding out the door, not even looking back to see if he did follow.

Zuko blinked in surprise for a moment before scrambling to snatch up his backpack and dashing out the door to follow the man out the door and village.

Zecora walked into Ponyville to find the streets almost deserted, shutters on windows closed and a nervous energy in the air.

She eyed her surroundings cautiously as she made her way to the marketplace. There she found very few ponies out shopping and all with frightened looks on their faces.

Making a decision, she trotted over to the trio of sisters tending to the flower stall she needed to visit for some potion ingredients she could not normally gather in the forest.

“Very few ponies I am finding here, what is it that has you gripped with fear?”

“A monster fell out of the sky yesterday! It’s been stalking the town all night.” came the nervous explanation.

“It was bigger than a minotaur, and it breathes fire!” the second sister blurted, a gleam of terror in her eyes.

“Bigger than a minotaur and breathes fire? Would it be a dragon, I must inquire.”

“Ah heard from my sister who was there when it landed that it wore armor of some kind, and it had a big hairy head!” A nearby shopkeeper butted in, eager to share his gossip.

“I saw one of the mares who moved out here from Canterlot tracking its hoof prints this morning. I hope she’s ok…” the celery seller on the other side of the flower shop added.

Of course, it was at that moment Vinyl Scratch came racing down the main road, galloping like the hounds of Tartarus were snapping at her tail. She sped through the market, not even acknowledging any of the ponies calling out to her.

“IT’S CHASING HER! IT’S GONNA EAT US!” One of the more panicky mares screamed, immediately setting the rest of the market to terror again and causing all who could to leap for cover behind the nearest carts or shop fronts. One earth pony mare somehow ending up hiding amongst the leaves of a nearby tree, her tail hanging conspicuously below her bolthole.

Zecora scanned the suddenly deserted square with unrestrained scorn. “This song and dance I have seen before, but to make me cower, I need something more.”

Swirling her cloak around as she turned, she allowed the hood to cover her head, staring in the direction that the blue-maned mare had come racing from and waiting to see what had the locals just as afraid, if not more so, as when she had first come to town more than a year ago.

After almost a minute of silence and ponies nervously peeking out from behind their carts, Zecora decided nothing was coming and turned to coax the stall keepers out from under their carts and into selling their wares.

Chasing the imaginings of these ponies could often be a fools errand, better to stay alert and help out where she could, and for that, she would need ingredients. *Sigh* ‘A zebra’s work is never done, not even with the setting of the sun...’

Author's Note

Thanks to Avatar of Madness for proofreading/editing.

EDIT: OK, no idea how to make a poll so I will ask here instead. In a future chapter I have planned, I will be including a scene that includes interaction with Scootaloo and talking about her history. Is there already something canon out there I have missed? If not, should I give her Earth Pony or Unicorn parents? Note I am specifically excluding her having Pegasus parents.

Time to Burn

Zuko jogged alongside the puffing older man as he made his way along the shore of the lake, their sandals leaving prints that were soon washed away by the rhythmic tides.

He had given up questioning the man after a solid fifteen minutes of travel, no answers were forthcoming and none were likely to come until they got to their destination.

Reaching a bend in the beach, where the great river joined the West Lake, the man turned left and carried on a couple of minutes more before veering into the woods. Zuko almost missed his companion turning off the beach and had to turn sharply to maintain line of sight with him.

It was not long until they came upon a simple log cabin, an area cleared for several yards in all directions from it. A man with a shock of thick white hair and a thin moustache and beard sat to one side of the house, opening his eyes at the sound of approaching visitors.

“Ah, Chey. It is unusual to see you at this time of the day, and with a guest as well. What is the occasion?”

Chey tried to appear casual as he spoke, though the effect was ruined by his slight panting, “Master Jeong, I met this young pai sho player today. I believe you are a friend of his Uncle’s”

Jeong stood smoothly and approached the pair, Zuko looking on slightly nervously. Jeong eyed Zuko, taking in his worn clothing and his weary look before his eyes widened slightly in recognition of who was standing before him.

“Young Prince, welcome to my little home away from home. Is your Uncle well?”

Zuko startled slightly at the salutation until he saw the faint smile on the elder man’s face and his inquiry about Uncle Iroh. “I,” he swallowed thickly a moment to maintain his suddenly shaky composure, “I don’t know. He disappeared two days ago, and I cannot find him.”

Jeong frowned thoughtfully, “Odd. Did he tell you where he was going?”

“Not a word, sir.” Zuko explained, “We were in the middle of a conversation, walking along the North Gaipan Trail when he just vanished. One second he was there, the next, I turned, and he was gone.”

Chey and Jeong both frowned at this. Iroh was not known for disappearing suddenly and for no good reason.

“Do you think it could have been earth benders?” Chey speculated.

Zuko shook his head. “That was the first thing I checked for. No dirt puckering, no usable rock faces nearby, nothing to indicate earth bending at all. There wasn’t even a sound to indicate something happened, and you know how noisy earth bending is.”

Jeong frowned in thought, “Did you track his footprints?”

“Yes, they got to a certain point and then they just faded away. I spent a whole day searching for him and the next night. I spent most of yesterday and this morning getting into the village where I met Chey here.”

At this Chey spoke up. “Speaking of meetings, you said your uncle taught you pai sho. Did he ever tell you anything about the game we played this afternoon?”

Zuko shook his head, “Only that board design and the words. He told me if he was ever captured or killed, to find a pai sho player in a tea house and use that to get help. I assume you are a spy ring of some sort?”

Jeong chuckled at the guess, “You could say that. We are part of a group that seeks balance within the elements, often training in the other styles for insight that allows us to expand our abilities. Iroh was one such person.”

Zuko was now slightly wary, his hands twitching as if he wanted to grasp at the twin dao swords strapped to his back “You are both benders?”

At this both men grinned before holding up a hand, each had a small ball of fire crackling over their palms. “Young prince, you are either incredibly lucky or incredibly unlucky.”

Jeong’s voice was jovial, even if his face was stoic. “You managed to meet the only two of your uncle’s colleagues who are also fire benders. From the sound of things, he was grooming you to join our ranks at the very least.”

Zuko scowled at the pair, not impressed in the least. “I don’t have time for spy games. I need to find the Avatar.”

As Zuko turned to stalk away, Jeong spoke harshly. “Finding the Avatar will not restore your honor you know?”

Zuko halted, his back turned to the two and his body stiff. “What would you know about honor, deserter?”

“I know that bringing destruction and pain down upon entire peoples is no way to bring honor to yourself or your Nation. I know that sacrificing the lives of hundreds of loyal men just to provide a distraction is foolish and a betrayal of their trust in every sense of the word.” Here, Jeong stepped forward and placed a hand on Zuko’s shoulder as the young man bowed his head, somehow knowing what was coming next.

“I know that scarring your own son and sending him on a fools errand is beyond heartless and displays a lack of integrity that few can mistake.”

Jeong breathed heavily through his nose, his sorrow clear in his voice. “As I told a young water bender I met once; Fire can only bring destruction and pain. It forces those of us blessed, and cursed, with its burden to walk the razor's edge between humanity and savagery. It can and will tear you apart eventually.”

“And I suppose you want to teach me?” Zuko’s voice was at the same time sarcastic and hopeful as if he dared not hope that the former admiral of the Fire Nation Navy would deign to teach him.

Chey smiled widely at his friend, Cheong glanced harshly back at him a moment before smirking at Zuko who was now looking back over his shoulder with his good eye narrowed.

“I don’t need to teach you fire bending and I don’t intend to. Of course if in the course of my teachings you should happen to pick up a skill or two, I won’t protest.”

Zuko’s eye widened first in surprise, then narrowed in thought at the implications of the man’s proposal, but his next words nearly stopped his heart.

“No, I intend to instruct you in how to teach the young Avatar.”

Iroh blinked at the retreating form of the pony who had called herself Vinyl Scratch. ‘What an odd name, and certainly an interesting young… lady?’ He had no idea what to call the pony who had interrupted his rest.

‘Well, now that I’m up, it is probably best that I find something to eat.’

Stretching as he stood, Iroh stowed his tea cups and evaporated the leftover tea in his teapot before hanging that on the side of his pack on its dedicated clip.

He hefted his pack before looking up at the clear sky. “Need to find a new hat too…” He grumbled to himself.

He noted what appeared to be several very large birds high in the sky. Deciding they were too high and too fast moving to shoot down, he climbed on top of a pile of firewood near the shed to get his bearings now that he could look around in the daylight.

The town before him seemed to be made up entirely of cottages and houses in a myriad of colors, no single color seemed to be dominant, and he could see no flags from where he stood.

Turning to look the other way, he noted that the town petered out only a few houses away, giving way to rolling green fields with mountains in the distance. A river flowed past the last of these houses with several bridges dotting its length for the locals to cross.

To both the left and the right of the fields were forests, one relatively young looking, with trees much more widely spaced, the other with dense, tall trees and a thick canopy. The darker and more tightly packed forest gradually gave way to a swamp in the distance.

Iroh studied the two forests at a distance, wishing he had a spyglass with him. The lighter forest seemed to be mostly inhabited by small birds at this distance, possibly the odd burrowing animal given that the widely spaced trees would allow for looser, more easily dug soil.

The darker forest echoed with the sounds of wildlife within, the howling of a wolf echoing from the forest telling him that not all animals in that region would be prey.

Looking at the swamp further down, he quickly dismissed it, not only for the extra distance he would have to travel, but also because he had no interest in finding out whether or not it was infested with catigators the hard way.

Deciding the dark forest would likely provide the best opportunities for catching some lunch (and possibly some dinner too), Iroh climbed down from the top of the wood pile and started making his way out the front of the home in front of the shed he had hidden in last night, marking its appearance in case he needed to come back later for a bolt hole, as dubious and possibly known as it was.

‘It never hurts to be thoughtful as a guest.’ He thought as he was closing the front gate behind him.

Iroh turned to head towards the nearby bridge and out of town when he heard a high-pitched voice, “Hello mister, are you our new neighbor?”

Iroh twisted to look behind himself and then back again to look in the other direction, before looking down. Barely more than an arms length away, was a two-foot tall lavender filly with a turquoise mane looking up at him curiously.

“You’re tall!” she said as-a-matter-of-factly.

Chuckling gently, Iroh knelt down to get a closer look at the youngling. “I am merely a guest,” he said, “however, it is very nice to meet you little one.”

“What’s your name?”

“I am called Iroh, my lady.” Iroh gave a playful courtly bow, making the filly giggle.

“I’m Aura! Nice ta meetcha!” The filly sprang about a little, a bundle of barely contained energy.

“A pleasure, miss Aura,” Iroh’s stomach growled, “However as you can hear, it is my lunch time, and I must go gather my food.”

“OK mister, Buh-bye!” The filly waved with her foreleg before springing off back towards town, humming as she went, much to the amusement of the old man. It seemed kids everywhere were pretty much the same.

“It seems to be a day for surprises,” Iroh said as he stood up and started walking, “I can only hope any more surprises are as pleasant as that one.”

Iroh bolted through the trees, his arms pumping hard as he cursed the temerity of his luck and his earlier words which some wretched spirit had obviously overheard. Behind him, a trio of wolves made of wood loped easily through the underbrush, clearly having no trouble keeping up with him.

Glancing carefully left and right as he (LOG!) dodged through the trees, Iroh looked for (BRANCH!) a more open area where he could make use of his fire bending without potentially setting (BRANCH!) half the forest alight.

‘There!’ Iroh shouted in his mind, his lungs burning too hard to do so physically.

Barreling his way into what he thought was a clearing, but was in fact a curve in a well travelled path within the forest. Iroh startled a black and white striped pony who was only yards away from the place he entered the clear area.

Iroh spun, placing his back against a large tree on the other side of the path even as he inhaled deeply, preparing for the first of these wooden horrors to follow.

‘Good thing about a wooden monster? It burns!’ He reflected as he exhaled powerfully, a cone of intense flame beginning just in front of his mouth and engulfing the foremost of his pursuers instantly, its yelps of pain shrill and short-lived.

The other two timberwolves burst into the path on either side of him, one right next to the pony who was now staring at him with enormous eyes, frozen in place.

A punch to the right sent a bolt of flames from the now-smoldering remains of the first wolf powerfully into the beast that was in the clear, sending it tumbling head-over-heels, yelping its distress as it fell to pieces.

An acrobatic arching kick fired a second bolt streaking over the head of the onlooker to strike the rear of his third and final assailant, causing the wolf to shatter on impact, some of it’s pieces smoldering and vibrating on the forest floor.

Landing slightly awkwardly, Iroh stumbled, before straightening and proceeding to extinguish the flames and embers that were still alight with a rapid clenching of his fist.

Iroh put his back to the tree again and slumped slightly, winded from excessive running for an old man. As he absentmindedly groped for a waterskin with one hand, the zebra overcame her shock.

“Taller than a minotaur you are not, but your breath is most decidedly hot.”

Iroh looked at the rhyming pony quizzically. “Ah, thank you, I think.”

The zebra watched Iroh carefully as he took a swig from his waterskin, trying to decide if he was dangerous to her or just to timberwolves.

“If I pass you on this path, will I need to face your fiery wrath?” She asked, her head tilted to one side, smiling slightly.

“Hm? Oh no, of course not. I am merely out hunting for my lunch, I am sorry for having disturbed your travels.” Iroh bowed slightly to her, gesturing with one hand and spilling some of his water in the process.

“If it is your stomach that needs some filling, to provide a meal, Zecora will be willing.”

Iroh was a little confused, would this one speak only in rhyme? “Thank you, would you be able to point me in the direction of this ‘Zecora’? I’m afraid I am not from around here.”

“You do not have to look far you see, for that is I, Zecora of the Everfree!” Zecora tossed her head at her pronouncement. “Come, follow me stranger. More for meal, less for danger.”

Iroh smiled as she brushed past him and carried on up the path, her saddlebags piled high with vegetables, herbs and flowers.

Deciding to try and get a little into the spirit of the encounter, Iroh tried his hand at mimicking Zecora’s verbal quirk. “My name, just so you know, is short and sweet Iroh.”

Zecora laughed gaily at his attempt at rhyme. “Short you are not, and sweet maybe, but your toasty breath marks you as spicy.”

Their banter carried on, fading into the distance as Iroh followed Zecora down the path to her home and a meal.

Deep in a cave, two voices rumbled through the darkness.

“I cannot feel him, Shao, our light of life amongst the dark fires is gone.”

“Soon dawns the third day since he has vanished, Ran.”

“If he cannot kindle the fires of purity, who will?”

“We must watch and wait. I do not sense his spirit, so he has not been extinguished yet…”

“So we shall find him?”

“And those who have hidden him.”

“And when we find them, we shall Ignite.”

“We will Burn.”

Twin sets of red eyes flared to life in the darkness.

“WE WILL IMMOLATE THE INTERLOPER!”

Author's Note

Thanks once again to Avatar of Madness for his mad editing skills!

A very human heavy chapter this time compared to the last few.

Good Vibrations

WHAM!

“LYRA! I’M HO-OME!” The bellowing cry of the Tartarus-spawned Head Splitter, also known as Bonbon pierced Lyra’s headache spawned fugue like a 12 hoof gong in a classical concerto.

“Uuuhhhhhh!” she moaned, trying to stuff her head under the pillow again, only to knock her horn against one of her hooves and sparking another spike of agony through her brain.

CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP CLOMP

The sounds of Bonbon’s movements felt like she was walking directly on her forehead. Lyra’s horn throbbed in time with her heartbeat.

“Oh wow. You don’t look so good Lyra. Are you ok? You look a little… teehee.. green!”

The response to Bonbon’s tasteless little jab was a pillow that flew gracelessly over her left flank. Bonbon glanced back towards the pillow before refocusing on Lyra’s pained face and winced in sympathy as she noted her bloodshot eyes and intermittently sparking horn.

“I’ll go get you some water,” she whispered, turning and treading as softly as she could back towards the kitchen.

When Bonbon returned, Lyra was on her back, her head hanging slightly off the edge of the bed, her legs dangling feebly in the air. With some effort, Bonbon got her flipped the right way up and placed the glass of cool water against her lips, helping Lyra to slowly drink the water.

“Do you need me to go get the doctor or one of the nurses?” Bonbon asked quietly.

Lyra’s ears flattened in fear. “No. No nurses!”

Bonbon sighed. “Well you obviously need something, your head must be really bad if you’re sparking like that. What about Zecora? The walk and fresh air will probably do you some good too.”

“Dun wanna go in Everfree at night. Too scary.” The minty unicorn moaned.

Bonbon rolled her eyes, before she trotted over to open the curtains, letting the sunlight, in much to Lyra’s displeasure. “Night isn’t for another four or five hours, we have plenty of time to go in and out.”

Lyra shielded her eyes against the sun as best she could. “Wha? Why are you home so early?”

“When I got to the market, there was hardly anyone around,” Bonbon explained, “it wasn’t worth opening my store for half a day with so few ponies around.”

“Half a day? Where were you this morning then?”

“I was visiting Vinyl Scratch and Octavia last night and I… uh… lost track of time.” Bonbon hung her head sheepishly at the confession.

Lyra looked confused, “So you slept there last night?”

At this, Bonbon frowned, recalling exactly where she had been. “Actually, I got there a bit before midnight. Vinyl, Octavia and I were all looking for you. Vinyl gave up last and somehow found you… for a few seconds...”

“Oh right…” Lyra had the grace to blush, “That was kind of dumb of me.”

Bonbon shook her head in exasperation, “Well, never mind. Let’s go get you something for your head, and you can tell me what you know about Mr. Iroh.”

Lyra was confused. “Mr. Who?”

‘Oh this is going to be fun!’ Bonbon thought. ‘If she never got to see him, I can get Vinyl to introduce us to the human and maybe keep a rein on Lyra’s craziness...’

“Mr. Iroh, you know? The human? You did at least ask him his name didn’t you?”

Lyra slumped sadly, “I barely got a glimpse of him before I was buried in orderlies and nurses. They didn’t want anypony near him, then when I woke up this morning, Nurse Redheart let me have it. She told me that the human woke up and ran away.”

Lyra started sniffling, “Now I’ll never get to meet hi-i-im…” She had stopped on their lawn, just as they were about to go out the gate, and burst into tears.

Bonbon hung her head, whether in embarrassment or weariness, she was not sure, but what she was sure of was that this was going to be a long afternoon.

In a train headed south for Ponyville, six mares and a baby dragon were conversing. More accurately, the mares were conversing, and the dragon was playing with a tuning fork.

TING! hummmmmmm…Giggle…

A purple unicorn stretched her head and forelegs upwards, giving a sigh as she dropped back to her normal sitting position “It really was nice for Cadence to let us stay with her and Shiny for a couple of extra days.”

TING! hummmmmmm…Giggle…

“It certainly was, darling. I even had time to go look for some crystals to include in my next line of fashion.” The white unicorn flicked her mane expertly, adding emphasis to her exaltation.

TING! hummmmmmm…Giggle…

The eye of the orange earth pony twitched, and narrowed her eyes at the chuckling dragon across from her before she turned back to the rest of her friends. “Ah hear ya, but I’ll be happy to get back home to mah family.”

TING! hummmmmmm…Giggle…

“You know what this calls for? A welcome home party!” The pink mare grinned widely, as she bounced in her seat.

TING! hummmmmmm…Giggle…

The yellow pegasus had just opened her mouth to speak, when the blue pegasus shrieked in frustration. “SPIKE! What are you doing?! You’re making me crazy!

“Huh?” The small green dragon looked up from the small bag filled with gemstones about the size of apples that was sitting in his lap, a garnet in one hand, a still humming tuning fork in the other.

“Oh, I’m testing out these gems I got myself for a present for my birthday.”

Pinkie Pie perked up at the pronouncement of her purple pony pal’s purple non-pony pint-sized partner. “It’s your birthday?” Her party planning grin formed rapidly on her face.

“Not until tomorrow, Pinkie. I’ll add these to the fire ruby I’ve been aging. It’s going to be DELICIOUS!” At this, Spike wiped a nail across the surface of the garnet in his claw and sucked on the tip of it, as he obviously relished the flavor.

The girls smiled indulgently at Spike until Rarity sat up in alarm. “Did you say ‘delicious’?!”

“Uh huh!” Spike nodded happily. “The garnets will add a nice smoky flavor to my ruby.”

“Smoky flavor…” Rarity repeated faintly, her eyes staring into the distance in vague horror at eating a beautiful gem.

Fluttershy glanced between the oblivious baby dragon and the mortified fashionista. “Umm… Spike…” she began, everyone in the carriage other than Rarity turning their heads towards her. “Could you maybe, ummm… please put the gems away for now? That is, it you wouldn’t mind?”

“Uhhh sure Fluttershy,” Spike was confused. “Was there something wrong?”

Sitting next to him, Twilight looked at Fluttershy, who had been nervously glancing at Rarity, and then back at Spike’s gem bag. “Ohhhh…” She exhaled with a look of dawning comprehension before turning to place her muzzle next to Spike’s head so she could whisper an explanation to Spike.

The little dragon’s eyes widened comically as he realized that what he had been saying had distressed Rarity. “Sorry Rarity…” He mumbles as he tucks the bag of gems behind him guiltily.

“NEXT STOP CROPTON! CROPTON, NEXT STOP!” A conductor hollers as he passed through the carriage, announcing the next station in their journey.

“Ugh!” Rainbow Dash muttered with disgust. “I can’t wait to get off this train and stretch my wings!”

Applejack was quite amused with the pegasus’ impatience, “Hee hee… Y’all just have to wait fer now, Dash. Only another hour or so ah reckon”

The impatient pony grumbled as she hunkered back down on her seat, crossing her forelegs in front of her chest and scowling.

TING! hummm…

“SPIKE!”

“Any luck girls?”

“Not a thing, Scoots. Half the ponies in the side of town near the hospital are all locked up in their houses and being silly.”

“Ah had a little luck, but not much. Somepony in the market told me that a unicorn went looking for him and found him. She came running back through town, completely freaked out.”

“Did they say why she was freaked out, Apple Bloom?” inquired Sweetie Belle.

“”That's tha thing. Ah asked seven different ponies and got five different stories. The only thing they all agreed on was she went one way hunting the human, and the other way at full gallop a little while later.”

“Do you know who it was? Maybe we can ask her.”

Apple Bloom looked back toward Scootaloo. “Ah did ask, someone told me her name was something weird… Dee Jay Pone Three.” she enunciated the name carefully, trying to make sure she remembered it right. “Nobody knows where she lives, though.”

“Maybe we can ask somepony where she lives?” Scootaloo asked hopefully.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “Ah figured that, Scoots, but who do we ask? Pinkie Pie isn’t home yet.”

“How about the Mayor?” Piped up Sweetie. “She might know!”

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked back at Sweetie Belle utterly thunderstruck.

“Sweetie that’s brilliant!” shouted Scootaloo, bouncing up and punching a fore hoof into the air.

Sweetie Belle struck a pose, head held high, and one hoof curled off the ground as she tossed her curly mane. “See girls? Beauty, and brains.”

Apple Bloom took one look at her posing friend before deliberately scraping her hoof on the dirt and swiping it across Sweetie’s pure white muzzle.

“HEY!” Sweetie yelled indignantly, only for her earth pony friend to stick her tongue out at her and gallop for the town hall, Scootaloo laughing as she ran right behind her.

“Oooh! I’ll get you for that!” she hollered after her friends, wiping at her nose with one hoof as she tried to follow at the same time.

“Well now, girls.” Mayor Mare began, having heard the girl’s plea for information. “I’m afraid I don’t know where this human is, though I would very much like to meet him myself. As to the address of the mare you are looking for, I would like to know exactly why you are looking for her in particular as well as the human.”

“Go ahead Sweetie, tell ‘er” prodded Apple Bloom, stepping backwards so she could nudge her friend forward a bit.

“Well, I was asking everypony in the market if they knew where the human was or if they heard anything about him. All I got was a lot of silly stories, but they did say that a unicorn named Dee Jay Pone Three went looking for him and then ran back through town really fast. We just want to ask her what she found. Oh and I want to see if she really did have her tail on fire, ‘cause I’ll bet that woulda hurt! Maybe I can make her a skirt to hide it if it looks bad.”

Sweetie Belle finished with a cute smile on her face, preparing to launch an all out puppy eyes assault if the Mayor was reluctant to give up the ‘goods’.

The mayor chuckled at the hilarious mispronunciation of Vinyl Scratch’s stage name. “Why in Celestia’s name would she have her tail on fire? Anyway I’m surprised you are after her and not Miss Heartstrings. After all, she is our local expert on humans.”

The Mayor schooled her face once again, “I’m afraid I can’t give you the address of Miss Pon-3. We can’t just go giving out personal details willy-nilly you know. Oh and nice pout, girls, A for effort.”

The trio of fillies blinked in surprise as Mayor Mare blatantly ignored the patented Cutie Mark Crusader Combined Cutie Stare - guaranteed to get you free candy or your bits back!

“Awwww…” The girls whined.

The mayor looked up as she heard a train whistle in the distance. “Weren’t your sisters due back on the train today? If you hurry, you could meet them at the station.” She smiled at the fillies. “Oh, and if you do, could you please tell Rainbow Dash to come meet me? We have some weather schedules she needs to look at waiting for her.”

Sweetie and Apple Bloom perk up at the mention of their sisters being home soon, Scootaloo even more so at the mention of doing something for her idol, the ever awesome Rainbow Dash.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo turn and race from the room. Sweetie Belle stays for a moment, saying, “Thank you for the help, Miss Mayor!” and darts out after them, calling for her friends to wait for her.

Mayor Mare sits there shaking her head, a faint smile on her face at the antics of the fillies. After a few moments, she stands and wanders down to an office just a few doors down.

“Scribed Scroll,” she calls the old stallion sitting behind a desk filled with maps and blueprints, “could you please find me the address of Vinyl Scratch, please? I have some business to take care of this afternoon.”

Author's Note

Slow updates for a little bit as I am getting blasted with paperwork at work.

Once again, much thanks to Avatar of Madness for proofreading.

Edit: Just a quick note to recommend this little gem. Broken Little Changeling by Anonymoose - A one-shot (and a half) that really surprised me.

Tea for two

Iroh knelt on a folded towel, his frame finding it too awkward to sit on the chairs built for the local pony - or in this case, zebra - population.

“I must thank you for your hospitality, Zecora. I was somewhat apprehensive of the reaction of some of the locals after the nurse in the hospital was so easily terrified of me, though I have run across a couple of others who were much more friendly.”

Zecora waved Iroh off with a hoof. “My thanks I must also share, good quality tea in Equestria is somewhat rare.”

Iroh smiled as he took a sip from his freshly brewed cup of tea.

“This place somewhat confuses me.” Iroh confessed. “I have seen no other human in the short time I have been here, only the creatures like yourself that call themselves ponies.”

Zecora chuckled at this, “Your confusion I can see, but I am Zebrican, not a pony.”

Iroh lightly chuckled as he hoisted his mug of tea towards Zecora in acknowledgement. “My apologies. If that is the case, do the ones with horns also have a different name?”

“If a pony with a horn on its head is born, it is known as a unicorn. If a pony comes with wings, it is a pegasus that fortune brings.”

Iroh recalled seeing bird-like creatures high in the sky that morning as he had been making his way out of town. “So those were pegasuses I saw flying around before I came into the woods?”

Zecora smiled gently as Iroh applied the wrong form to his pluralization, “If it was ponies flying in the sky, what you saw were indeed pegasi.”

Iroh nodded at the explanation as he watched Zecora float a blob of tea out of his pot and into her freshly emptied cup, her hoof steady as she guided the liquid with a gentle sweep.

“What of this ‘magic’? So far I have seen a unicorn floating both myself, a cup and you moving liquids from one place to another. Where I come from, we would call what you do water bending, though you use none of the motions, and if I understand correctly, you need a horn to be able to move things with magic.”

Zecora looked at Iroh thoughtfully for a moment. “Perhaps it would be best, to explain our magic and put your curiosity to rest.”

When Iroh dipped his head in assent, Zecora stood from her seat and moved over to a nearby shelf.

“We will begin with my own magic, that of the Zebrican Shamen. This, from what I have heard from you, would be closest to your ken.”

Zecora scooped a hoofful of green powder from a pouch and blew it into a cloud to the side. Iroh looked on appreciatively as images began to form within its smoky depths.

“A Shaman’s power, at its core, comes to us from elements four.”

The scene shifted to what appeared to be rounded mud huts, where a zebra sat by a circular fire pit as she struck her forehooves together to cause sparks to fall upon the wood piled before her.

“Like you we have some control of fire, but just a spark compared to your pyre. We use it with this glimmer dust to project a notion, or simply to ease the heating of a delicate potion.”

The image dimmed a little as it changed to a scene of a pair of zebra within a hut, one tending to the wounds of another by running a faintly glowing shard along a cut on his flank.

“The glimmer dust is a facet of earth, we use many minerals in the land of my birth. Mud for poultices and crystals for healing, some make gems into traps in case dragons come stealing.”

The vision shifted once again, this time showing a group of zebras crossing a savannah, the leader adorned with rings that bore some similarity to Zecora’s. The leader closed his eyes for a moment before pointing his hoof forward and slightly to the right.

“Water to us Zebricans carries much meaning, for in the savannahs of Zerbrica, water is not exactly teeming. Those of us with the ability are taught its detection, for it can be a matter of life and death if we fail in its collection.”

The crowd of zebras faded away, to be replaced by a zebra shaman facing down a trio of hyenas. With a toss of her mane, the zebra gave off a silent shout, causing the small pack of wild dogs to scatter in terror.

“Our use of wind power is the last to make clear, we use it for sending messages or inducing fear. Though that last use is one I abhor, it is very useful when faced with a predator.”

“Now on to the pony tribes, which when taken as a whole, their magic is best described as mind, body, and soul.”

A unicorn appeared in the smoke, her horn alight as she floated a trio of apples before her.

“The unicorn’s magic varies greatly by vocation, though all possess the ability to use light and levitation. Though many different elements their magic has employed, the greatest of their casters use the concept of the void. For the purposes of this discussion, it is easiest you will find, to consider their magic to be powered by the mind.”

The unicorn was replaced by the image of an earth pony, a yoke around his neck as he pulled a plough through a field with little trouble.

“The earth ponies magic is most often hidden from sight, though most often detected through their incredible might. Though most ponies will tell us their element is earth, the truth is they tend to have powerful connections with the lands of their birth. From farming to construction to growing a flower, theirs is considered to be the bodies of most hidden power.”

The image of the earth pony sunk as the view moved skyward to focus on a pegasus flapping her wings as she used her forehooves to push a cloud around the sky.

“Finally we come to the pegasi, who are most comfortable when up high. Amongst the clouds these ponies patrol, though most do not know it, their power is not wind but soul. Between their hooves even a cloud may be clutched, for all of them, elder to foal may, interact with what otherwise could not be touched.” Zecora waved her hooves, guiding the powder back into a small pouch sitting on the shelf next to her. Once the last of the dust was back in its container, she turned back to Iroh, soothing her now slightly dry throat with a sip of her tea.

“I hope I am not being cavalier in trusting I have helped to make things more clear.”

Iroh sat back on his heels as he considered the words of the zebra before him. Contemplating the explanations he had received, he found there was only one detail which he could not fully understand.

“You said the unicorns make use of the concept of the void. I’m not sure I quite understand, do you think you could elaborate on that, or would it be better to find someone with more specialized knowledge in that regard?”

“I’m told the unicorns that use void focus on nothing, or so they say. The best examples of this would be the unicorn fighters who make use of something called the Still Way.”

Iroh stroked his beard thoughtfully. “Fighters you say? Given what I saw from that unicorn that woke me up, getting on the bad side of one of them would not be pleasant.”

Zecora frowned as she remembered her own welcome to Ponyville. “While conflict with a unicorn being bad is true, there are few fighters, so it is the talkers that should be more worrisome for you.”

Iroh did not like where this was going, “Among my people, a crowd mentality is commonly seen when there is a vocal leader in the group, or even someone who is just particularly vocal. I take it the same is true with ponies?”

“The herding instinct is very strong amongst ponies,” Zecora sighed, “What does not make them scatter will sometimes make them freeze. In that state, it would only take the voice of one, to cause the whole group to accept, or the whole group to shun.”

The old man looked shrewdly at Zecora, reasoning out the cause of her melancholy tone. “I take it something like that has happened to you?”

“It is true, my arrival caused the town’s peace to shatter. The very sight of my walking down the street caused everypony to scatter. It was not long after that I was lifted from my gloom by a brave young filly, named Apple Bloom.”

Zecora smiled at the memory. “These days the ponies are much more at ease whenever I venture forth from my home in the trees. I even found suppliers for herbs and flowers easy on the nose, in a trio of lovely mares, the flower growing ponies Daisy, Lily and Rose.”

Iroh laughed as he stood to refill the kettle with water and a fresh blend of tea leaves. “I can certainly believe that, this has got to be one of the most relaxing smelling homes I have ever come across.”

Iroh placed a hand on either side of the kettle while Zecora looked on in fascination as he heated the water inside. When steam was finally coming from the spout a minute later, he placed the kettle down on the table and reclaimed his spot.

All the better for the two who had travelled so widely in each of their own worlds to share their knowledge and experience.

The train had finally steamed into Ponyville.

“Ponyville! Now stopping at Ponyville!” A conductor called down the train, moving to open the doors out onto the platform and make way for disembarking passengers.

Seven of these passengers were relieved to finally be free of the train after their long journey from the Crystal Empire, far to the North.

The first of these out the door was Rainbow Dash, the blue pegasus barely stepping onto the platform before she took to the skies.

“YES!” cried Rainbow Dash, “Free at last! I SO need to stretch my wings.”

Rainbow Dash proceeded to do some minor acrobatic stunts, revelling in her freedom from the confinement of the cabin she had spent the last day and a half in.

She was followed momentarily by Pinkie Pie, who was grinning at her friend’s acrobatic enthusiasm, happy herself to be back home.

Applejack and Twilight followed soon after. Spike was seated on Twilight’s back, his bag of gems clutched tightly to his chest. “I’m gonna miss the Crystal Empire.” he said fondly, patting the bag.

“You mean you’re going to miss the edible houses.” Twilight snarked back at her assistant.

“Heh, you got that right.” Spike chuckled. “At least now I see why some of the new ponies in town always try to take a chunk out of Sugarcube Corner.”

“Teehee! All the better for me to find them!” Pinkie grinned, “I wonder if anypony new came while we were gone? I’m gonna have to throw a few parties to catch up.”

Spike looked up thoughtfully from his perch. “What are the chances of somepony new coming to town in the last week anyway?” he asked.

The spring in Pinkie’s step increased as she smiled happily. “About a bajillion times higher now that you asked that question! Thanks, Spikey. I wonder who my new friend will be!”

“Ah ‘spect you’ll find out ‘ventually Pinkie,” drawled Applejack, “Ah’m just glad ta be home. Ah can’t wait to see the family again.”

“I can’t agree with you more, dear.” Rarity had emerged behind them, her luggage levitating to one side so as not to wrinkle her dress. “Do you mind if we go directly to your home? I promised my parents I would go pick Sweetie Belle up from there the moment I got home.”

“Sure thing, sugarcube. Ah’ll see y’all later everypony.” Applejack waved to her companions, already turning towards the road that would take her from the train station to her farm.

“See you soon. Oh, Fluttershy, would tomorrow at two work for you for a visit to the spa?” Rarity turns in time to see Fluttershy nodding to her quietly. “Wonderful! See you then, my dear!”

As the sounds of Applejacks powerful hoof steps and Rarity’s dainty trot receded into the distance, Twilight turned to her remaining three friends.

“I think we’ll also be heading home. I have a lot of studying to catch up on now that we are back.” stated Twilight, “We’ll see you all later, OK?”

“Okie dokie, Twilight!” chirped Pinkie, “I’m gonna go look for my new friend!”

Rainbow Dash landed and looked oddly at Pinkie Pie before turning back to the others. “I don’t know about finding somepony new in town, but I know I’ll need to restock on food. You wanna come with, Flutters?”

Fluttershy smiled at her friend, grateful for the invitation. “Thank you, I’d like that. I need to get some feed for the animals too. That is, if you don’t mind…”

“Ooh! Sounds like fun!” Pinkie exclaimed. She turned her head and tilted her ears to listen carefully as she rattled her tail. “I still have some room in my tail, so I’ll come get some snacks too. Maybe I can find my new friend there.”

“What makes you so sure there’s somepony new in town?” Twilight asked, looking slightly confused.

Pinkie giggled at the librarian. “Silly filly! Spikey just made sure of it when he said so.”

Spike perked up at this before he looked skywards thoughtfully. His face brightened as an idea came to him. “Bathful of sapphires! Bathful of sapphires! Bathful of sapphires!” he started chanting under his breath, causing Twilight to run her hoof down her face in exasperation at the little dragon.

“C’mon Spike, let’s go see your bathtub full of wishes…”

Spike was puzzled as Twilight started walking towards the town, waving to her friends as she passed. “Huh? But I was wanting a bathtub full of sapphires, not wishes…”

Rainbow Dash chuckled at the naivety of the baby dragon as he was carried away by Twilight. She hoisted her saddlebags higher before turning to help adjust Fluttershy’s load. “I’ll help you carry your shopping home. Your bags are so heavy you might get squashed flat if you do it by yourself.”

Fluttershy cringed at the jibe. “Oh dear, but what about your bags? I can walk back home, but you have to fly…”

Rainbow puffed out her chest, “No problem, I’ll just zoom back home and drop my bags off before coming to help you out. I’ll be back with you girls in ten seconds flat.”

As Rainbow Dash zoomed away, Pinkie Pie resumed her bouncing, springing in circles around Fluttershy as she exhorted the pegasus to get moving to the market. “Let’s go! The sooner we get there, the sooner we can meet our new friends! Uh oh!”

Fluttershy turned back in alarm to see Pinkie standing there stock still, her mane and tail perfectly straight and both sticking straight out from her body.

“Eep!” Fluttershy squeaked before turning and bolting for town and away from whatever Pinkie’s senses are alerting her to.

With a distinct ‘FLUMPH’, Pinkie Pie’s hair returned to its normal fluffy curls. After a moment of shaking her head, Pinkie glanced carefully left and right, cranes her head up to scan the sky, then down to look between her legs.

“Oh well,” she said, “I’ll figure out what that one was eventually.”

Spotting Fluttershy’s rapidly retreating form in the distance, Pinkie called out “Hey! Wait for me!” before bouncing after her spooked friend.

In a house somewhere within Ponyville, the curtains are pulled closed by a pony within their bedroom. He steps into the centre of the room and green fire began to flare as the changeling reverted to his normal insectoid form.

He took a deep breath and let it out as he focused on his connection with the hive mind, causing his eyes to glow with blue light as the connection strengthened.

‘This is agent Whispering Terror. Insertion successful under primary disguise. Recent event has been exploited to begin fear harvest early. Nine nightmare stones and two curiosity stones have been crystallized and prepared for transport. Awaiting further orders.’

A mild voice rose above the cacophony of the hive mind to speak specifically to the changeling. ’This is cogitator Echoing Truth, Elaborate on the recent event, Whispering Terror.’

Whispering Terror focused on what it knew to be the mind of a servitor drone, an intermediary of the Queen herself. ‘A Non-pony arrived yesterday and was injured. Overnight he escaped the hospital and went into hiding. Measures were successfully taken to exaggerate rumors and intensify suspicion and fear. Harvest of fear at more than 90% success rate.’

There was silence for a moment then another voice came, louder and infinitely more imperious than the mind-voice of the servitor. ’ A description of the non-pony, harvester.’ The mind voice was unmistakable, it now had the attention of Queen Chrysalis herself.

‘Unconfirmed information places the creature as bipedal, approximately two to three times the mass of an adult drone, my Queen. No known abilities, magical or otherwise. Local rumor names the creature species as ‘human’ according to a local purported to be an enthusiast of rare and mythical species.’

’We will need more information than mere rumor. Change priority of your harvest to emotional neutrality, siphon in small amounts. I will not risk the notice of Celestia’s student or her friends at this point. Research this ‘human’ and replace a different local to do so if necessary.’

‘By your will, my Queen.’

Author's Note

I now have a new hate to go alongside cabbages and guys with creepy stares. That new hate is writing Zecora. I feel like Doctor friggin' Seus right about now...

Much thanks to Avatar of Madness for his great proofreading.

Also credit goes to Moguera and his Savage Skies series for the concepts of the Still Way and Earth/Wind/Void used here.

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that Still Way was first seen in Xenophilia, not Savage Skies, so credit there where credit is due.

Worlds Apart

Applejack and Rarity were walking down the road towards Sweet Apple Acres, their travelling bags in tow, when they heard the distinct sound of a tree being bucked.

WHOMP! tok-tok toktoktoktok…

“Ah’d know that sound anywhere!” Applejack exclaimed. She took a deep breath before hollering into the orchard that she and Rarity were walking next to. “Hey Big Macintosh! Where are y’all?”

There was a pause, before the heavy clump of Big Macintosh’s hooves was heard ahead and slightly to the left of the two mares. The stallion in question emerged from the rows and looked towards them.

“Applejack. Rarity. Welcome home,” he greeted the two mares in his normal understated way.

“Have y’all seen the fillies ‘round here Mac? Rares wants to pick up Sweetie Belle and get on home.”

“Nnnope. Them fillies went to town a while ago. Lookin’ fer Miss Lyra ah suspect.”

“Lyra?!” Rarity shouted in horror. “Sweet Celestia, she’ll give the fillies even crazier ideas than they normally have!”

“You know her?” Applejack looked slightly nervous at Rarity’s reaction to the news.

“Yes, she’s constantly going on about mythical creatures and has been trying to emulate some of them.” Rarity shuddered at a memory. “She commissioned some odd pieces of clothing from me a few times, gloves for claws and things like that.”

Applejack studied the fashionista for a few seconds, before shrugging out of her saddlebags. “Mac, can you take mah bags back to tha house and git tha shampoo? Ah don’t need ta be Pinkie to sense tree sap in our future…”

“Eeyup!”

A door opened to reveal a tan earth pony with a grey mane, a pair of yellow rimmed glasses perched delicately on her nose.

“Good afternoon, I’m looking for a Vinyl Scratch,” she greeted the unicorn that answered the door.

“That’s me.” Vinyl blinked wearily at the pony before her. “Can I help you?”

“Yes, dear. I am Mayor Mare, I’m here to ask you a couple of questions I’ve been told you would be able to assist me with.”

“Sure. C’mon in. Hope you don’t mind talking over coffee. Haven’t got much sleep last few days.” Vinyl stepped back to allow the mayor entry, using her magic to close the door behind her before she turned to slump towards the kitchen.

The mayor smiled apologetically. “Oh dear. I won’t trouble you for too long then. Just a few questions and then I will let you rest again.”

“Sure.” Vinyl flicked on the stove and set the kettle on it to boil while she sat down. “So what d’ya wanna know?”

Mayor Mare sunk much more gracefully into a seat across from the DJ. “I have it on good authority that you came across the creature that we are calling a human this morning. I was wondering if you would be good enough to tell me a bit about where you found him and your impression of him.”

“Huh? Oh, no problem. I found Iroh in the shed behind Matilda’s place…” Vinyl began.

“... excuse me, but, ‘Iroh’”? Mayor Mare interrupted for a moment.

Vinyl grinned lazily, “Everypony’s gotta have a name don’t they? The human’s name is Iroh. Anyway he’s cool. He’s like an old dude, drinks a lotta tea from that magic teapot of his I bet.” Vinyl quickly held up a hoof, forestalling the question she could already see forming on the Mayor’s face.

“Yes, Magic. Teapot. He puts in cold water and leaves and pours out hot tea, no glow or nothin’ just cold water one moment, hot water the next.”

“Very well, magic teapot.” The mayor nodded to Vinyl. “Anything else? Anything to give us a clue as to what he wants, where he’s from?”

“Uh…” Vinyl tilted her head back in thought. “He seemed a bit obsessed with bending stuff, told me I was bending air or something like that. I don’t even know how the dude knew I was a DJ.”

The mayor looked carefully at the DJ before her. “Anything else? I was told you came galloping through town like something scared you.”

“HA!” Vinyl Scratch barked out a laugh. “I wasn’t scared of anything, I was just late for keeping a promise to Bonny.”

“Very well.” Mayor Mare nodded primly. “Thank you for your assistance, Miss Scratch. I will see myself out, it seems I have much to do today.”

“S’all good.” Vinyl stood at the same time as the mayor, “Don’t be a stranger, yeah? And come by some time to meet Octy. She needs more friends and I think she might like you.”

The elder mare smiled kindly as she left, “Thank you, I will keep that in mind.”

Zecora turned in her seat to decisively place her cup on the bench next to her. “Now that I have told you my simple tale, would you tell me of the lands from which you hail?”

Iroh smiled grimly. “Of course, though if what I suspect is true, that I have somehow crossed the barrier between worlds again, most of what I have to say will be of little use other than to satisfy your curiosity.”

Zecora jerked her head towards Iroh, her eyes widening rapidly. “You have travelled to another world? Pray tell me how, my curiosity is greatly unfurled.”

Iroh’s smile rapidly turned into a pained grimace. “That, my dear, is a long story, and one that is best held off until I tell you about my homeland. I suspect, that information will confirm or reject my suspicions better than anything else.”

At the zebra’s nod of assent, he carried on. “I do not have the fine control to create detailed imagery as you do, but I will do my best, if only to assist in my descriptions. Failing that, would you have some parchment or paper and some charcoal? I am no artist, but a drawn image might be better than one created from flames.”

“Charcoal I have in qualities both brown and black, but of parchment and paper, I have a distinct lack.”

“Very well then,” Iroh allowed, “it looks like I get to practice my art in an entirely new way.”

Realizing his own pun, Iroh chuckled lightly as he continued, igniting a ball of fire in first one hand and then the other. “I hail from the largest isle in the Flame Archipelago, known as Capital Island. I was born and raised in the city, most imaginatively named Capital City. Collectively, the archipelago and its inhabitants are known as the Fire Nation.”

The flames arched between the orbs hovering above Iroh’s hands, attempting to form an image. Iroh frowned as the flames flickered and would not stay in place long enough to display an image of his home.

Zecora watched the dance of the flames between the orbs curiously, waiting to see what the old man before her was trying to do, until they guttered out suddenly, causing her to look back at Iroh.

“My apologies,” Iroh rubbed the back of his head, “it seems I simply do not have the skill set to mimic your wonderful dust illusions. I hope you don’t mind if I instead use only the canvas of words to paint you an image.”

Zecora leaned back on her chair, relaxing into a more comfortable position for listening rather than watching. “Do not worry about painting with fire, we can draw later if your words do not inspire.”

Iroh nodded his assent as he carried on. “To the North of the archipelago lies the mountainous island which houses at its pinnacle the Western Air Temple, and far to the South-East, another small island chain which is the home of the Southern Air Temple.”

Waving his hand lower, this time without the flames to try to illustrate the map he saw in his head, Iroh carried on. “To the South of the Southern Air Temple lie the freezing arctic lands of the Southern Water Tribes.”

At this, Iroh shuddered visibly, “I was in that area once, and the chill down there was incredible, I felt I was frozen to the bone for weeks after. For a fire bender, this is not a comfortable feeling. As you might well imagine.”

Zecora laughed appreciatively. “To leave such an impression the cold must be most grim, to send such as you there must be like teaching a gryphon to swim!”

Iroh was confused. “A gryphon? What in the world is that?”

“I promise biology class later, if we do geography now.” Zecora chided, “I will teach what I can then, of anything from parasprite to cow.”

On hearing Zecora’s tone, Iroh immediately sat up with his feet pressed together and held between his hands, his back ramrod straight. “Yes, Miss Zecora.” He said in his best schoolboy tone of voice, before throwing his head back in laughter, joined half a second later by Zecora.

“Oh dear,” Zecora said between gasps for breath a minute later, “be it between towns, nations or worlds most strange; it seems the relationship of teacher to the student shall never change.”

“So it seems, my dear, so it seems. Now where was I? Oh yes. Encompassing the vast majority of the world to the North and East of all those lands, is the massive continent that is primarily populated by the Earth Kingdom. the South-East corner of the continent has the Eastern Air Temple, while the Northern Air Temple sits atop a mountain on its northernmost edge.”

Iroh perked up as he finished his brief description. “Finally, there is a second frozen land to the north of that where the Northern Water Tribe makes its home.”

“Let me see if I remember this right, and affix your lands in my mind’s sight.” Zecora reached for her dust again, blowing out a low cloud and smoothing down the top so she could work with it piece by piece.

“Let’s start with the biggest, this Earth Kingdom land. Upon biggest land mass, does it now stand.” Part of the flattened smoke raised under Zecora’s guidance, showing a roughly circular shape.

Getting the idea, Iroh half stood, resting his weight on his knees, rather than on his whole leg. “Flatten the land across here.” he indicated, pointing along a line that cut off a porting along the bottom left side of the circle.

“Now a large bay here, on the right, but leave only this portion open to the sea.”

“Two lakes here, with a thin strip of land separating them. And finally raise a large circle here,” he indicated an area using his hands, “This is where the great walled city of Ba Sing Se is.”

“And now the water tribes, both high and low. What shapes are their lands, do you know?”

“Roughly oval if I recall correctly, the North tribe here, and the South tribe all the way down here. While we are at it, some streaky islands starting here,” Iroh indicated a spot not far from the large bay on the large continent, “and ending about here.” At this he pointed to a spot above and to the right of the southern island.

“Last but not least,” Iroh said with a grin, “A chain of islands starting about here, and growing larger until here, and then a much larger island, here.”

Iroh and Zecora sat back to observe their collaborative cartography. It was rough, incredibly so, but at least gave an impression of what the lands looked like.

Zecora looked up from studying their makeshift map. “I looked at these shapes and I can say with little fear, that wherever you are from, it is most certainly not here.”

Stepping to the side so she was clear of their work, Zecora withdrew a second hoofful of powder and shaped a second image.

A long, snaking continent formed before Iroh’s eyes, another smaller continent rose in the Southeast corner. Finally several large islands formed in the Northwest, one of them incongruously separated from the map and started floating a couple of inches above the plane of the map.

“Here is the world as we know it, from mountain to shore. From Zebrica to Vaporia, and the Ibex Empire to Boardor.”

This map was significantly more detailed than the one Iroh had dictated, and his eyes darted across the map, looking for a familiar landmark – any familiar landmark.

“This... This looks nothing like any map I am familiar with. Given that my arrival in these lands is unexplained, also that I somehow moved from here,” Iroh indicate a spot on his own map, just below the Western lake on the main continent, “to here… uhh, my apologies, but where exactly are we?”

“You see this peninsula, here in the middle? Go about a hoofspan above to solve your riddle. At least now we know one thing for certain to start, your most recent journey has set you worlds apart.”

“That it has, that it has indeed…” Iroh’s worried frown deepened.

“I will have to meditate on this in the morning. With any luck I will be able to contact the spirit world and get some advice from there.”

At this, Iroh clapped his hands together in an effort to dispel his sour mood, making Zecora jump slightly at the noise. “In the meantime, seeing as you have explained some of your native abilities, I see it as only fair that I should do the same.”

“As you can probably guess from having watched me, I am a practitioner of the Fire Bending Style. Fire is considered to be the element of passion, destruction, and power; it is the element most heavily influenced by the emotions of its user. Of the four main styles, fire benders are known to be the most aggressive, although we practice some of the greatest self control.”

Iroh sighed as he realized he would have to broach a difficult topic in this discussion, and so decided to get it over with sooner, rather than later.

“Our natural neighbors, both geographically and spiritually, were the air benders. From what we know of them today, every one of them was capable of bending, something none of the other 3 great nations could claim. They lived austere lives in their four great temples, moving between each according to their progress in learning their ways.

“The air benders were the only nation that used its abilities in a primarily defensive way, and the only people who used no lethal moves in combat at all. Their methods leaned heavily towards evasion and speed, they used, almost exclusively, circular motions in their techniques, never coming at a problem in a straight line.”

Zecora caught the sadness in Iroh’s voice as well as the tense he spoke of the air benders in. “You speak of air benders with such guilt, pray tell, why does their tale make you wilt?”

“The short version is that almost a hundred years ago, the Air Nomads were all but wiped out in a war. As far as I am aware, there is a single air bender left alive today, and he is nothing more than a boy. The long version I suspect will have to wait as the reasons for their death involves information I have yet to give you.” Iroh evaded as best he could, hoping to push back the shameful and gory details until absolutely necessary.

It still disgusted Iroh to think of the pain and death inflicted by his own people.

Meanwhile, a pair of mares approached the house set within the tree. One of the mares' ears twitched as she heard the sound of voices coming from within.

“Who’s that with Zecora?” wondered Bonbon, “Sounds like a stallion, but I don’t recognise the voice.”

“I have no idea,” grumbled Lyra, “I just want to get rid of this stupid headache, then get back to town. Can we just get the potion and leave Zecora to her coltfriend?”

Bonbon giggled lightly at her friend as she approached the door and knocked.

The sound of a chair’s legs scraping was heard shortly before the resident zebra opened her door.

“My, my, I am so popular today. May I ask what brings you two mares out this way?”

Bonbon smiled awkwardly at Zecora. “I hope you don’t mind, we were wondering if you could sell us a potion or two for headaches? Please?”

“All this way for such a simple remedy? Very well. Come and I shall cure what ails you mentally.” Zecora backed away from her door and retrieved a small cauldron on her way to the fireplace.

Iroh sat and watched placidly as the new arrivals entered the room, one looking around curiously while the other had her eyes mostly closed, her nose scrunched in discomfort, evidently the one who needed the headache cure.

“Strange, I thought I heard you talking to somepony when we got here…” the alert pony half muttered. Zecora glanced at Iroh who winked back before schooling his features and sitting as still as he could.

“You do know that nosiness is a disgrace,” Zecora chided Bonbon, “but as you can plainly see, you are the only ponies in this place.”

“Hard to tell with all of these masks around sometimes.” Bonbon groused before she spotted something new in the room.

“What about this?” she asked, reaching a hoof towards Iroh’s head, “I’ve never seen a statue like this one before, where did you get it?”

“Oh, she just picked me up in the woods…” Iroh rumbled from his place next to Bonbon, her hoof pressed against his ear.

“Really? Must have been a really lucky…. AAAAAHHH!!” Bonbon shrieked and stumbled backwards as she realized the ‘statue’ she had been prodding her was the one who answered, and not Zecora.

There was a moment of silence.

Bonbon scooted backwards, her hung mouth open in surprise and her forehoof shook as she pointed it at Iroh.

Zecora turned her head to peer over her shoulder and away from the water she had just set to heat over a small fire pit, one corner of her mouth rising in a smirk of amusement.

Iroh smiled widely as he tilted his head toward the surprised earth pony, a chuckle beginning to bubble forth.

Lyra swung her head painfully to face the direction of the scream that had come from Bonbon, her eyes landed on Iroh for the first time and widened as she realized just who and what was sitting right in front of her.

[Insert Evil Cliffhanger Laugh™ here….]

Author's Note

Thanks to Avatar of Madness for his editing skills.

Equestria map used for reference was the map developed for the unpublished fic Where the World Ends by nasco.

next chapter is already ~~more than halfway done,~~ off to the editor, for those experiencing cliff hanger rage...

Stuck on You

This is the unedited version. I will be out on business all of tomorrow, and will post the edited version as soon as I get home, assuming it is fixed up by then.

Tap tappa tap…

“EEEE!!!”

“WOAH!”

THUD!

“Oof!”

...

Smek. “Nnnnnnn…”

The tableau which saw the new guests realizing that Iroh was in the room was interrupted, only to be replaced with a new one.

Bonbon held her hoof against her head as she sat against the wall next to Zecora’s door, trying and failing to suppress a moan of both horror and frustration at the scene before her. Suddenly, she suspected, she would be the one in greater need of the headache cure rather than her mint green friend / roommate / test subject / pet psychopath…

Zecora stood next to the firepit, she could not help but stare in open disbelief at what she saw. She had been well prepared for the two mares to react in surprise, she had just as much expected fear, perhaps even a smidgen of terror – a semi-hermit zebra has to get her chuckles in where she can, even if it was a little mean spirited – but something like this?

Iroh lay spread eagle on his back, staring confusedly down at the unicorn who had all four legs wrapped tightly around his torso and upper thighs, her head slightly over one shoulder and her muzzle resting next to his ear.

“Really, Lyra? Can you not restrain yourself for five seconds?” Bonbon’s voice held the anguished annoyance of somepony who was seen just a little too much wackiness recently.

“Nuh. Uh.” Came the emphatic denial from the pony holding her prey to the floor.

“Just get off of him? Please?” Bonbon begged, glancing for help at Zecora, who was desperately trying to work out what in Tartarus was going on.

“Not happening. I missed two chances already, and I’m not going to miss a third. I caught me a human!” Iroh could hear the zealous smile even if he couldn’t quite see it.

‘This is NOT comfortable,’ Iroh’s back protested, agreement was felt from his abused shoulders and legs. ‘How can I get her off… oh right, THAT might work.’

“You know,” Iroh mused aloud as he wrapped his arms around Lyra, “I came to the forest looking for some dinner. I didn’t expect dinner to find me…”

The eyes of all three mares widened as Iroh casually turned his head and lathed a broad lick across his captive captor’s muzzle and cheek.

“Hmmm…” He smacked his lips, “Do you have any oregano or thyme, Miss Zecora?”

The three mares blinked in near unison.

Bonbon began to clamber to her hooves, preparing to charge and rescue her idiotic friend from this horrible carnivore.

Zecora took a step backwards and reached sideways for a bottle on her shelf, maybe she had misjudged this highly dangerous fire breathing, timberwolf smashing human.

Lyra on the other hoof, turned her head to wipe the drool off the side of her face on the cloth of Iroh’s robe and neck. She pulled her head back slightly, and lowered her eyelids as she stared directly into Iroh’s brown orbs.

“I don’t believe you.” She stated flatly, “If you really ate ponies, you wouldn’t have left town to find food.”

Iroh smiled as he turned his head to Zecora, “It looks like you were certainly correct about unicorns favoring their minds, but this does remind me, I really do need to find some food soon, I have not eaten since before I came here and tea can only do so much, much to my regret.”

Zecora carefully moved her head back to the shelf so she could place her potion back in its place and free up her mouth. “In which case, as soon as your lovers’ embrace you have ceased, I can bring out some food that we may feast.”

Lyra tightened her grip on Iroh, wiggling a little as she turned her head and peered from under Iroh’s chin at the cheeky zebra. “Nice try, but I know how this works. You get me to let go, and the next thing I know I’m waking up to a scary nurse and –”

“Num!”

“Eep!”

“You know,” Iroh mumbled around Lyra’s ear as he lightly bit down on it, “you could just ask me to stay around and answer your questions. No need to chew our ears off or anything…”

Iroh felt a shudder of what he hoped was apprehension run its way down Lyra’s spine before she jerked her head to pull the tip of her ear out of his mouth. “Okay, can I please stay near you for a bit so I can ask some questions? Maybe study your hands for a bit?”

“If you agree to stop holding me down, I don’t see why not,” Iroh bargained for his freedom from the mare who was starting to get quite heavy.

As she breathed a sigh of relief that she had misjudged the situation, Zecora crossed the room to open a cupboard which contained many bundles and hanging bunches of leaves and herbs.

“Now that we are back on track, let me see what I have for a snack.”

Zecora nosed her way through the contents. “I have grasses here both elephant and wire, tasty but drab. I also have bark and roots of manketti, jackalberry and baobab. If something Zebrican does not satisfy your glut, I have other leaves here, as well as some pine nut.”

Iroh held up a finger from where he was still laying on the floor while Lyra was in the process of extracting her hooves from underneath him and standing up. “That could be a problem. I don’t think I can eat any of that.”

“So our diets are quite different, I can safely assume. What is it that you need for your body to consume?”

Iroh grumbled as he sat up again, groaning as his legs had been forced into an awkward angle by Lyra’s tackle, causing him to get the horrible prickling sensation as the blood flow returned to his feet.

“Humans eat meats, fruits and vegetables. The animals here are different to those in my world, but I imagine most birds and fish will still be acceptable. Fruits should be easy enough, I managed to eat a few berries before those wolves found me earlier.”

Zecora scrunched her face in disgust. “If eating animals is what helps you tick, we won’t be much help, meat makes us sick.”

“That should be fine.” Iroh placated, “The whole reason I came out here was to do a little hunting. Unfortunately, all I managed to find were small birds that were no good to me, and those wooden terrors.”

“I hate to impose on you, but do you know of anywhere nearby where I might have better luck?” Iroh smiled apologetically at the ponies.

Zecora looked out the window thoughtfully as she considered Iroh’s request. “The birds in the forest all nest up high but there is a river with fish nearby.”

Iroh rubbed his beard in thought, “You know, I saw a group of Sun Islanders spearfishing some years ago, I always wanted to try my hand at that myself. If you could give me directions to the river, I will leave you ladies to your business. It will also allow me to eat without disturbing you.”

Zecora smiled at Iroh’s thoughtfulness, “Come, I shall show you the path, it is the same way I go for a bath.”

As Iroh walked out behind Zecora, he was swiftly followed by Lyra, who shuffled forward so that her barrel was brushing his hip.

Bonbon finally found her voice at that sight. “Lyra! What the hay are you doing? We came here for you, remember.”

Lyra grinned at her friend / roommate / scheme foiler / pet chocolatier. “Yup, and we found me a great cure for my headache, but if you think for a moment I’m letting him out of my sight, then you’ve been sniffing too many nougat fumes again. Besides, I wanna see what spearfishing is.”

Zecora was pointing a hoof down a small track that left the clearing in front of her home from beside a small flower patch.

“Just remember,” Zecora had chided Iroh while Bonbon and Lyra were talking, “Avoid touching the flowers of blue, for if you do not, the joke will be on you.”

“Of course, thank you for your help. Uhh… why are you following me?” This last Iroh addressed to the unicorn at his side.

“Like I said… spearfishing! I want to see it, I bet it will be awesome.”

Iroh arched an eyebrow at her. “You do realize I will be eating the fish I catch there, don’t you?”

“So what?” Lyra tossed her mane arrogantly. “Sure it might be gross, but maybe I’ll just gross you out by eating some apples in front of you. Big, crunchy ones.”

Iroh schooled his features, trying not to laugh at Lyra’s attempt at a threat. “You have a fair point. I am sorry, but I am not sure I caught your name, and I prefer not to disgust someone whose name I do not know.”

‘He wants to know my NAME! Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh! NO! Answer now, freak out later!’

“I’m Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings, what is your name?”

Iroh laughed at her enthusiasm, although inside he was already plotting ways to subvert her apparent obsession. Lyra reminded him all too keenly of a young boy he had met who also had not given him a moment’s peace.

“You may call me Iroh, just Iroh. It is a pleasure to meet you, young miss Lyra.”

Zecora and Bonbon stood and watched side by side as Iroh and Lyra walked down the path. Lyra froze up for a moment, falling behind Iroh, before shaking her head and breaking into a short canter to catch him up.

“This is not going to end well…”

“At least we know they will be in little danger, Lyra may be a little odd, but Iroh is stranger.”

“D-d-danger?!” Bonbon stuttered.

“But of course. Here in the Everfree, travelling requires a certain measure of bravery. Do not worry about your unicorn friend, the player of lyre. If a monster attacks them, it will literally be playing with fire.”

“Say WHAT?!” Bonbon shrieked in horror at the thought of being attacked by a monster of the Everfree, remembering the Ursa that had invaded town when Trixie had first visited.

“Do not worry yourself, for protecting others Iroh seems a paragon. Just stay clear when he breathes fire, just like a dragon.”

Zecora turned away from the entrance to the trail to the river. “Come, let us brew your headache potion. As we do, you can fill me in on the commotion.”

Giving one last look down the trail, Bonbon followed the Zebra into her home, suddenly feeling in need of just what Zecora was offering.

“Oh dear… where is everypony?”

Applejack and Rarity were walking through the marketplace on their way to the Carousel Boutique to drop off Rarity’s saddlebags as they searched for the fillies.

Applejack looked over to her family stall, which sat empty to one side, an ‘away on business’ sign sitting neatly on the counter. “Ah dunno. Looks to me like the same is happenin’ as when Zecora came to town. Dagnabit, Pinkie’s done it again!”

Rarity started shifting her bags into a more manageable formation for going through a door as her home came into sight. “I agree darling. Let’s find those fillies and get them home. I wonder what has come to town this time? Ah well, I expect we will find out in time. We do seem to attract some level of drama after all.”

A familiar buzzing came to their ears as Rarity was fishing in one of her bags for the key to her home.

“Oh I do believe I hear the girls now. Would you be a dear and see if you can call them while I get my bags inside?”

“Sure thing.” Applejack turned and galloped towards the distant buzzing sound of Scootaloo propelling her scooter. “COOO-EEE!!!” she called, using a sound she knew to travel a fair distance, “Apple Bloom! Scootaloo! Sweetie Belle! OVER HERE!”

In the distance, the trio of fillies perked up as Scootaloo brought her scooter around in a sharp turn and headed directly for the bellowing Apple.

Seconds later, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle came tumbling out of the cart attached to the back of the scooter and raced to greet their older sisters, Apple Bloom leaped to bring her forelegs around Applejack's neck, laughing in delight. Sweetie Belle bounded forward at an only slightly less frantic pace to be gathered up in a hug by Rarity.

As four sisters were reunited for the first time in more than a week, Scootaloo looked to the side as she heard hoofsteps coming up from behind her.

“It’s good to see your friends back with their sisters. It does me proud to see you look after them so well.” The orange mare with a navy cap over her curly blonde mane said.

Scootaloo leaned up against her, sharing a moment while her friends and their sisters were distracted. “They look after me just as much as I do them, Mom.”

The earth pony smiled proudly down at her daughter before leaning down to nuzzle the top of her head. “What matters to me is you have some good, dependable friends in them, but when are you going to get a nice coltfriend too, hmm?”

“Mo-om!” Scootaloo groaned in the aggrieved tone of all fillies being embarrassed by their mothers. “And she wonders why I never bring any of my friends home…” She grumbled to herself.

Sluuurp! Patoo! Patoo!

A changeling stood over a newly cocooned form. Shifting form to a unicorn, it picked up the bundle and levitated it into a large wardrobe.

The changeling’s form changed once again, reforming to a duplicate of it’s prisoner.

Green eyes flared in the dim light of the trot-in wardrobe.

‘Echoing Truth, this is Whispering Terror reporting in.’

’You have my attention, harvester. What is your report.’

‘Secondary disguise has been established. Information gathering is preliminary success. Non-pony has been confirmed as a species named human. Source confirms one magical ability, the ability to heat water through the use of an artifact. Threat level assessed as negligible.’

’Information is received. Due to events in Baltimare, love harvest has fallen behind schedule. Adjust your focus accordingly.

‘As you command.’

Whispering Terror’s eyes dimmed as he turned to leer at his prisoner. “It’s okay my dear, a little fear is good for the blood, you know. Your affection is quite sweet, even if it is a little stale, but don’t worry, I won’t be making use of you for long.”

The prisoner’s double inhaled deeply. “Ahh dread seasoned with a little hope. Your emotions will take a little while for me to extract and separate, but don’t worry… we will be making much better use of them than you are.”

The changeling laughed as he turned to walk away, leaving behind him a mare trapped in a green cocoon, her eyes wide as she realized her plight.

Author's Note

2 rapid fire chapters, this one probably with a heap of mistakes.

Yes, yes those shippy moments were deliberate, and no, no there will NOT be any clop/pairing there.

Kudos in advance to Avatar of Madness, the poor sod who is stuck with polishing this mess a little.

Rivers, rocks and rants

“Sooo~… why are we collecting these stones?”

Lyra stood on the shore of the river, pawing through rocks with her hoof and using her magic to levitate the wax-like stones Iroh had pointed out to her.

Iroh knelt beside the pile of stones, striking one with another occasionally and discarding most. “I do not have a blade with me, so I will be making one with the right kind of stone. Its just a matter of - AHA!”

Lyra turned to see Iroh holding a stone aloft that was about half the size of his head.

“So what now?” she asked as she trotted over to watch Iroh work.

“GRAH!” Iroh brought the stone down on another as hard as he could, grunting with the effort. A large shard broke off the side of the stone, along with several smaller fragments.

Gingerly, Iroh picked up the shard avoiding the sharp edges. He turned it and ground one side along the original stone a few times to blunt one side for safer handling.

“It is not a steel knife,” he said, looking back up at the intrigued unicorn, “but it is sharp enough to do the job I need it for. Next, I’ll cut down and trim that sapling over there.”

Iroh and Lyra walked downstream a small way to the sapling Iroh had pointed out. Lyra lay down nearby to watch as Iroh rapidly ran the sharp edge of his makeshift flint knife across the wood not far from the ground.

A few minutes later, Iroh judged the bottom had been weakened sufficiently. He stood and walked to the other side of the sapling to his cut. With a heave, he stomped his boot on the sapling hard enough for the small tree to snap and fall to the ground.

Lyra was fascinated as Iroh methodically hacked the remaining fibers the connected the wood to its stump, then stripped it of all of its small branches and twigs. The old man stood as he tested the weight of the pole which rose to his shoulder when standing.

“Now to sharpen it,” he said to Lyra, “then we can get to the fishing part.”

Iroh walked back over to the rockpile and struck a new piece of flint from the stone the two had found. In short order, he was hacking away at one end of the pole, sharpening it into a spear point.

Lyra yawned as she stood and Iroh stretched out his back from the strain of work.

Walking back and forth at the side of the river, Iroh took a moment to spot a fish. He hefted the spear behind him and threw.

He hit nothing but water.

Iroh grumbled as he waded forward a short distance to retrieve his spear. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, and try again,” he joked to his spectator.

Another throw.

Sploosh!

Wade out to the spear, wade back out, look for fish that haven’t been frightened away.

Miss horribly, and wade back out again.

Lyra couldn’t help but start to share his frustration. “Spearfishing looks hard. Do you just need something pointy to catch the fish, or does it have to be a spear?”

“There are many ways to catch fish, Miss Lyra,” Iroh said with a frown as he concentrated on spotting his next target,” A net, or a hook on the end of a very fine string are much favored over a spear by my people, and I am beginning to see why.”

“Oh, ok. So what do you want me to do with these fish, by the way?”

Iroh’s neck crackled loudly as his head snapped towards a grinning Lyra, a quartet of fish floating in a pale yellow aura next to her. He glanced down at the spear in his hand, then back to the unicorn.

“How long ago did you realize you could just float them out of the river?” he ground out.

“Ummm… sometime when we were collecting rocks?” Lyra winced.

Iroh sighed, at least an hour's worth of work for next to nothing. “Just. Just float on of them over here.”

Lyra did as he asked, only to shriek in surprise and nearly drop all the fish when he stabbed his spear through the fish with a lot more precision than he had shown in his throwing.

Iroh pushed the fish farther down before turning back to Lyra. “Next, please.”

In short order, four fish were skewered on the spear. He leaned the spear against a tree while he turned to place all the branches and wood shavings he had made into a small hole he kicked into the stones that made up the shore of the river.

With a gesture, Iroh formed a small ball of fire in his hand and dropped it onto the wood. He stood there and maintained it until he felt the green wood catching and sustaining the fire on its own.

Grabbing a convenient Y shaped branch, he set the fish over the fire to cook. “Hah…” Iroh looked up at the sound. Lyra was standing nearby, her eyes wide and jaw hanging open, looking for all the world like a child who had just been told that the walls of Ba Sing Se were made of chocolate.

Iroh smirked. ‘Question explosion in 3… 2...’

“D-do that again,” stuttered Lyra, her eyes fixed on his hands.

‘Ah, coffee pots! Thought I had her pegged on that one.’

Lyra walked forward cautiously as Iroh generated another small fireball in his cupped hand.

“No spark or magic glow other than the fire itself. You don’t have some kind of tool hidden up your sleeve, do you?” Iroh looked on, bemused as Lyra’s horn lit up in order to draw his sleeve up his arm, exposing his forearm.

“Is it something to do with the thickness of your forelegs? Wait! does that mean you can generate fire with your feet as well?”

“Yes, I can.” Iroh took a short step to the side and kicked a blast of fire over the river, where it would do no harm.

“But your feet are covered!” Lyra complained, falling back on her haunches. “How am I supposed to work this out if your fire doesn’t follow any of the rules!”

“What rules would those be?” Iroh wondered aloud.

“If I was to try making a fireball like that with my horn covered, I would either blow the cover off, or it would blow back into my face! Not that that matters as my talent is different anyway.”

“If I may ask, what exactly is your talent? Zecora told me earlier that unicorn magic is different according to their jobs.”

“Well that’s easy enough, it’s right here on my flank.” Lyra turned slightly to show off her cutie mark. “As you can see, my talent is in playing the lyre. Of course, what our talent is and what we like to do are two different things.”

“What exactly does your talent let you do?” Iroh asked, “How does it let you play a stringed instrument with hooves?”

“How about I make you a deal,” Lyra wheedled, “I’ll help you study unicorns if you help me study humans.”

“Sounds like a good deal to me,” Iroh smiled as he leaned over to inspect the fish, the smallest of which had finished cooking, “Unicorn magic for human fire bending.”

“Deal!”

Iroh sat down cross legged, a large stone cradled in his lap and one of the shards from the flint in his hand. “I hope you do not mind going first because it is dinner time for me.”

With that Iroh started eating the first of the fish, using the rock shard as a small knife.

Lyra was a little disgusted, but at the same time intrigued by the fish. “Uhh. Sure, no problem. Where should I start?”

“Your magic,” Iroh said around a mouthful of the fish, “what does it do, how does your talent make it different.”

“Right. My magic…” Lyra paused a moment to gather her thoughts.

“My magic is pretty much the same as most other unicorns, make light, levitate stuff, things like that. The way my talent makes it different is I have finer control with my levitate spell. I can move lots of things at once and with some good control, so it lets me do things like pluck the strings on my lyre to make music.

“The biggest thing about unicorn magic, is we tend to specialize, it’s not unusual for a unicorn to learn only four or five spells and be content with that. Some of us learn more, especially when our talent and our personal career don’t overlap well.”

Iroh looked up from his fish to ask a question. “Any good examples?”

“Sure. There is a seamstress in town who has an insane amount of fine control, like threading a hundred needles in less than thirty seconds fine control. Her talent is finding gems, but she has learnt a whole bunch of spells to help her with her work in her shop. Clothes changing, measuring, lighting, cutting, uncutting, cleaning and a couple of the girls and I have speculated, but we aren’t sure whether she teleports that fainting couch of hers or not.

“Come to think of it, another good example is the town librarian. Her talent is supposed to be magic itself, but I think it might be something like organisation or making lists or something. What I do know is that she has a whole lot of power, more than any unicorn I can think of outside of the princesses and she studies constantly. I think she might know more spells than the rest of Ponyville combined, the only problem is I don’t think her control is very good, heck her magical disasters make mine look tame in comparison.”

Iroh put the rock to one side as he reached to pick up his third fish. “Disasters?” he asked with a grin, “Any particularly interesting ones?”

“Well…” Lyra looked down with a blush, “There was this one time I shaved a gryphon.”

“A wha?” Iroh interrupted, his mouth full.

“A gryphon. Looks like a pegasus, but with the front end more like a bird and the back end more like a cat,” explained Lyra.

Iroh nodded and rolled his hand in a ‘please continue’ gesture.

“The short version is he was mean and heckling one of my performances, so I shaved all the little hairs off of his feathers. He was so embarrassed, he ran away screaming. I lost the gig, but I kept the feathers.”

“Wha di’ ‘ou…” Iroh swallowed, “What did you do with them?”

At this, Lyra gave a malicious grin, “I used them to stuff my pillow.”

“Pfff!” Iroh stuttered around his fish before rearing back and laughing heartily at the mental image.

A few mouthfuls later, Iroh declared himself full and stood so he could clean up the smouldering coals from the fire he had built and bury the waste from the three fish he had eaten.

“What are you going to do with the last fish?” Lyra asked.

“I will have to leave it here for an animal to eat. Fish does not keep well, and I would make myself sick if I tried to eat it later,” he replied as he tamped down the dirt over his waste.

“It is starting to get late, it is probably best that we get back to Miss Zecora’s home before it is too late for you to get home yourself.”

Lyra looked up and noted the sun had shifted significantly over the canopy of the forest, for all it could hardly be seen. “Right, let’s get moving then.”

She glanced back at the fish left on the rock by the riverside, before turning to follow Iroh. As the pair turned the path, there was a chunk missing from the side of the fish.

“You have been awfully quiet since we left the river. Is there something on your mind?” Iroh asked Lyra as they approached the end of the path leading to Zecora's home.

Lyra swallowed thickly, before giving a strained smile. “You said you were worried about me getting home. What about you? Where’s your home?”

Iroh sighed, “That is where things get complicated. My home is a different world to this one, and I am still trying to figure out how I got here and why. The last thing I remember before waking in that hospital was hiking with my nephew.” At this, Iroh paused to look up to the canopy above him.

“I hope that wherever he is, he is safe. He is a good boy, and strong, but oh so impulsive.”

He shook his head as if to free himself of the melancholy thoughts. “Come, it is not much farther I believe.”

Behind him, Lyra finally allowed herself a small shudder, before hurrying to catch up.

Carefully avoiding the large blue flower patch as they had been warned, the pair approached the wooden door set into the large tree and knocked.

The door was quickly flung open by a very disgruntled looking Bonbon. "Where have you been? It's so late now we won't be able to make it out of the forest before night!"

"Ummm... Oops?" Lyra gave a nervous grin. "It took a little while to get the fishes."

"So, was it worth it? Did the spear fishing live up to your expectations?" Bonbon grumbled at her impulsive friend.

"Oh the spear fishing wasn't so good," Iroh chuckled from his place next to Lyra, "but the horn fishing was much better."

Bonbon immediately recognized what Iroh meant. "You caught the fish with magic didn't you?"

At Lyra's happy nod, Bonbon rolled her eyes. "Next you'll be telling me you ate some of the fish too."

"Of course not," Iroh disagreed, "she only sat and talked with me while I ate."

Lyra's guilty expression told a different story, one that was an open book to Bonbon. 'You're an idiot. Do you even know what happens to ponies who eat meat?"

"N-no... what?" Lyra cringed.

Bonbon's face took on a slightly dark demeanor, she smirked at her roommate. "I think if you like experimenting so much, you should find out for yourself." She turned to Zecora, standing next to her. "Please don't tell her, it's more fun if she finds this out the hard way."

Zecora caught the mischievous glint in Bonbon's eye and sighed dramatically. "I will start to prepare the elixir, one so doomed will need a fixer."

"Doomed?" Lyra's eyes were wide, her ears laid way back. She did not like the sound of this...

“Boy!” Jeong Jeong shouted to Zuko, “Come over here a moment.”

Zuko halted the exercise he was going through and walked towards the elder firebender. “What is it? And don’t call me ‘Boy’.”

“You have not yet earned the right to be called a man, in my eyes. You are close, but not yet. Now, do you know if your uncle had a patron spirit?”

At Zuko’s confused look, he elaborated, “Did he ever tell you of his dealings with any of the spirit world?”

“No, he never told me anything about it. I did hear somewhere that he visited the spirit world after my cousin died, but I don’t know any more than that.”

“Bah, it was a faint hope you would know anyway. Something out there is incredibly angry, and I can’t help but think it has something to do with your uncle’s disappearance. For now, back to your exercises.”

“Why do I even have to learn the movements for earth bending anyway?” Zuko grumbled, “It’s not like I will have much use for them.”

“Show me the wall raising technique.” Jeong ordered, his eyes hardening.

“Fine.” Zuko made a short series of movements, his form a little sloppy in his frustration.

“That doesn’t look like wall raising to me…” Jeong did not sound amused.

“Well how do you do it then?” Zuko ground out.

Jeong turned to one side and deliberately took a stance. “Like.” STOMP! “This!” THRUST!

Zuko’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared, standing in front of the old man was a curtain, no, a WALL, of flames thick enough he could not see through it.

“Just because you cannot earthbend,” Jeong lectured with a grim smile, “does not mean you cannot adapt their techniques for your own use. I’m surprised you do not know this, especially since your vaunted uncle does the same with the water styles.”

“Now get over there and get to work. If your focus is good enough, I will start you on meditation tonight. If you are to succeed your uncle, it is time you learned his discipline.”

Author's Note

No editing on this chapter either :( looks like I'm flying solo for a while, so please excuse the (hopefully) slightly lowered quality of the work.

Purple Haze

A fedora wearing Spike walked down the street, early in the morning, licking his teeth to get at the last of the flavor of the sapphire cupcake Pinkie had given him that morning.

"Good morning, Miss Mayor," Spike called out to the pony on her way to the town hall. "It's my birthday today!"

"Is that so?" the mare raised her eyebrow at Spike, "Well in that case, come with me. I had been saving a present for you for Hearth's Warming, but this will work even better."

The mayor turned and trotted back the way she came to a nearby house.

"Now you stay here, Mister, I'll be right back out with your gift."

Spike pouted, but stayed where he was. After all, a gift is a gift.

The mayor trotted into her house, closing the door behind her before stepping into her closet. Barely a second later, her eyes lit with an eerie green glow.

‘This is Whispering Terror, requesting rapid judgement call.’

’This is cogitator Echoing Truth, state your request.

‘The dragon belonging to Twilight Sparkle is displaying heightened amounts of greed. Request permission to feed him an Envy Crystal to accelerate his growth under the guise of a birthday gift. I project the dragon will cause adequate damage to distract from my gathering operations.’

’Relaying information to arbiters.’

There were several tense seconds of waiting as the disguised changeling shuffled in place while the Arbiters, changelings specialized in debating and making decisions at the speed of thought made their choice.

’Permission granted. You may...’

’OVERRULED!’

The mind-voice thundered across the link, causing all involved to flinch at the perceived volume.

’Harvester Whispering Terror, your dedication is commended. The dragon’s greed will grow on its own if encouraged; instead you will maximize its destructive power. Feed it Rage Stones, up to three of them if you have them on hand..’

The changeling’s eyes widened as it realized the potential danger in that order, but dared not disobey. ‘By your will, my Queen.’

’Always, ’ the mind-voice of the Queen agreed, ’cogitator, you will find the nearest changelings capable of crystallization and send them to Ponyville at all speed. They will assist in harvesting emotions as quickly and discreetly as they can. Harvester, once the dragon has either moved on or been subdued, you will encourage cooperation among the survivors, try to aim for grief, love or happiness as you deem appropriate.’

A short while later, Mayor Mare returned with a small black case in her mouth.

"There you are, young dragon. I got these from a merchant who came through town just after Winter Wrap Up, she said these crystals are considered to be a delicacy to dragons. I hope you enjoy them, but don't eat them all at once."

Spike opened the case to find a trio of deep red crystals. Each of them seemed to glow slightly as if lit by an inner light.

"The merchant called them 'power stones'," the mayor informed Spike, "she said dragons eat them to make their fires burn hotter."

"Wow! These could be useful! Thanks Mayor Mare!"

The mayor smiled kindly at the young dragon as he walked away, before turning and hurrying towards her office. There was work to do…

"You need to relax more, boy." Jeong was enjoying this, not that he would let the young prince know. "How do you expect to meditate if I could use your scrawny back as a washboard?"

"I'm trying." Zuko ground out through his clenched teeth.

WHACK!

"Meditation, does not require talking back." Jeong’s voice was as sharp as his cane was painful.

"How in the name of Sozin's Smouldering Eyebrows am I supposed to concentrate on meditating when you keep hitting me with that stick?!"

Jeong Jeong was unimpressed by Zuko's tirade and gave a dismissive sniff. "If it was good enough for the Air Nomads, it will be good enough for you. Now meditate!"

WHACK!

"ARG!" Zuko cried out, "Would it kill you to use a little carrot as well as the stick? At least uncle Iroh knew how to do that."

"Hmmm..." Jeong's face took on a contemplative look as he put a hand to his chin and turned away, walking back into his cabin.

Zuko heaved a sigh of relief at the insufferable master finally leaving. He turned back to his position and shuffled in place a little to loosen his tired leg muscles. Glancing to the sides to ensure he was still centered in the circle of candles that had been assigned to him as his place to meditate - or to be clubbed insensate by Jeong Jeong's stick, whichever came first.

Zuko exhaled slowly as he relaxed his body and tried once again to meditate. His head drooped forward slightly as he started to find his center, an itching feeling tickled on the edge of his awareness, and he could almost swear he could hear a faint high pitched cackle in the distance...

WHUMP!

Zuko opened his eyes with a groan from his prone position halfway out of the meditative circle to find Jeong Jeong standing over him, a smirk on his face and a bunch of carrots, many of them now cracked or broken, dangling casually in his hand.

"Thanks for the tip," he said, "carrots work great too. I will have to remember that for the next smart mouthed student I take."

Jeong turned and walked away, but Zuko had finally had enough. With a roar of anger and frustration, he launched a trio of fireballs directly at the insane teacher’s back.

Unfortunately for him, the old man seemed to expect him to do exactly that and turned to swing his arms, sending the three fireballs skywards.

As Zuko began to wind up a much more powerful attack, Jeong snapped his hand back down, pointing a pair of fingers at the sand at Zuko’s feet only a fraction of a second before Zuko’s own fireballs impacted at that point with a resounding detonation.

Zuko was flung off his feet and hurled more than a dozen yards into the river behind him.

“Sparring practice isn’t for a few hours yet, boy!” Jeong taunted. “You need to learn some patience if you want to meditate, you know.”

As he left the young prince to simmer in his anger, Jeong grumbled to himself just below the hearing range of his student as he stalked back into the cabin.

“Damn that boy. How am I supposed to teach him patience when he learns everything too fast? Where are you, you old fool? How am I supposed to teach your nephew when your job isn't done yet?”

Iroh chuckled as quietly as he could while he viewed Bonbon and Zecora’s work. He had to admit, when using her powers for funny, Zecora could be as devious as the infamous King Bumi, the legendary prankster-king of Omashu.

Normally he wouldn’t be party to something as borderline cruel as this, but after Lyra had fallen asleep last night, thanks to a potion from Zecora, he had heard all about some of Lyra’s more dangerous or thoughtless exploits of the last several years.

It was over those few hours after the sun had set that their plan had taken shape, their parts rehearsed. If all went well, Lyra would be forced to show some respect for one of the locals, and they would all get a laugh.

If all went badly, well, at least Bonbon could get some sweet, sweet revenge by racing home and grabbing her camera while Zecora got to play with some of her more fun potions.

“Remember, “ Zecora said to Iroh, “After she drinks the brew, she will be unable to speak the answer to the first question she hears until the day is through.”

“Are you sure about this, Bonbon?” Iroh asked, “This is quite possibly one of the meanest, but most inventive pranks I have ever heard of.”

“Trust me, after the number of vats of caramel and chocolate that mare has ruined, this is nothing.”

“Shh. She is beginning to stir, get ready for your prank to occur.”

Iroh knelt down next to Lyra and shook her awake by her shoulder. “Something’s wrong,” he said grimly, “your color changed overnight. I don’t think that’s normal.”

Lyra bolted awake and turned her head to look at herself. Where before she had been a light, minty green, she was now a pale purple color.

“It is as I had feared, a terrible curse has appeared. It is very lucky for you I thought ahead to make this brew. The only chance now you’ve got, is to drink this whole pot.” With that, Zecora brought forward a small cup filled with a potion.

Lyra wasted no time in pouncing on the cup and draining it dry.

At this signal, Iroh theatrically shook his head. “Excuse me miss,” he asked of Lyra, “what is your name?”

The formerly green unicorn’s eyes glazed over for a moment.

“Don’t be silly, Iroh, I told you my name yesterday is… is… the pony who plays a lyre!” She sat there looking confused.

“Wait, that’s not right, my name is… themintyxenobiologist!” She tried to force her name out, but got something different again.

“The cure came too late, I must mourn,” lamented Zecora, “she now bears the syndrome of the lavender unicorn.”

“Wawawa-WHAAAT!” The newly lavender unicorn shrieked, “Tell me there’s a way to fix this, PLEASE!”

“There is a way,” Zecora hedged, “but I cannot help to my regret. You must find a true lavender unicorn and kiss them at precisely sunset.”

The unknowingly dyed unicorn sat up on her haunches for a moment thinking before coming to a realization.

“THAT’S IT!” she cried before bolting out the door.

At this, both Zecora and Bonbon started giggling, moments later they were in full blown gales of laughter.

Iroh was slightly confused. “What am I missing?”

Zecora calmed herself to explain. “There is only a single purple unicorn in town. She will try to kiss Twilight as the sun goes down.”

Bonbon carried on, “Twilight Sparkle is the princess’ personal student and just about the most bookish shut-in you have ever met. Granted, she’s gotten better about it, but she and Lyra often drive each other crazy.”

Iroh looked at the still swinging door and turned back to the mares still in Zecora’s home. “Well, is it a good idea to let her go alone? From what I understand, these woods are quite dangerous.”

“The forest is quite safe for one such as me, but Lyra has only a little experience with the Everfree,” said Zecora.

“Well that’s that then. I’m going to see if I can follow her before something dangerous happens.”

Iroh stood and jogged out the door, making for the path he had first been led down to Zecora’s home.

It took more than half an hour for Iroh to catch up to the panting Lyra, her lavender coat now stood out vividly against the forest backdrop.

“You cut a serious pace when you want to,” Iroh remarked, breathing heavily as he approached her.

Lyra turned her head back towards his voice, “Yeah, but galloping like that down a twisting path is seriously bad for your hooves.”

“Besides," Lyra continued, "I gotta find somepony before sunset. I don’t want to…”

RRAAAAAAAAAA!!!

The roar was so loud it almost literally shook the ground under their feet.

“What the? That came from Ponyville!” Lyra shouted in terror.

She and Iroh headed for the end of the path out of the forest as quickly as they could, the sounds of roars and faint screams echoing on the breeze.

They broke through the trees at almost the same instant to look on the scene before them in horror.

A titanic purple dragon was screaming his rage to the sky in the middle of Ponyville. Pegasi were flitting around him, trying to kick him into submission, but to little avail. There was little left for them to fight for, most of the ponies in the area had fled, while most of the town was utterly destroyed.

Iroh looked at the dragon in outright shock. This, this was no noble spirit, no divine being who guides his followers to a greater path. This was a beast, a spiteful, destructive, feral beast!

It wasn't until he was halfway across the first field that Iroh realized he was headed straight for the dragon, and half a second more before he redoubled his efforts. These were peaceful beings as far as he could tell, and they did not deserve this.

He only hoped he knew what he was doing because heroics like these was for young men half his age...

Author's Note

A shorter chapter this time, but very necessary setup for the action that is in the very near future.

And yes, I'm well aware that if that lampshade was hung any harder, it would need a mustache and 70's porn groove.

Flash dance

‘Cogitator Echoing Truth, this is harvester Roulette. The situation in Ponyville has become more extreme than estimated by Whispering Terror. Requesting permission for unusual measures in order to maximize harvest.’

’This is cogitator Echoing Truth. Elaborate on request.’

The changeling could feel the conversation being flagged for immediate attention. She did her best not to tremble at the idea of receiving as much attention as the number of minds now focussed on her suggested.

‘The dragon in Ponyville is destroying the entire town. I am with an estimated twenty ponies who have sought safety in the basement of the sofa shop. The sheer volume of fear they are putting out is such that I would only be able to harvest it all if I was in my natural form.’

Roulette took a breath, she was sure her plan would cause an uproar.

‘I propose to reveal myself to these ponies and convince them to feed me their emotions under the guise of using them against the dragon.’

There was an explosion of mind-voices over her link, strong enough that it was hard for the harvester not to flinch and cry out from behind the couch where she had hidden herself.

SILENCE!

“Eep!”

The mind-voice of Chrysalis was unusually focussed, she could feel her mind sweeping over her own before scanning the link for others who were listening in.

’I sense six arbiters here. I would hear from you each in turn now. Brinn.’

’The idea has merit, my queen, but risks both the harvest and the harvester.’

’Deliberata.’

’Chances of failure are high. I recommend displaying anger and indignation that a dragon has been fed changeling emotion crystals in order to raise chances of success.’

’Noted. Derodomontatus.’

’It is not worth it. The harvester should continue with her orders as you planned, my queen.’

’Heirodyus’

’Send a second harvester to backup harvester Roulette. A single drone will be overwhelmed if they turn hostile.’

’Only four harvesters in that town, not viable. Kledji.’

’The plan will succeed. Ponies are stupid, frightened ponies even more so.’

’Sevax.’

’Recommend Deliberata’s plan with addition, false death of a sibling. However, my opinion no longer matters, my Queen, as the harvester has been noticed.’

Among the hive mind, gasps, cries of alarm and a few vindictive chuckles were heard before Chrysalis’ voice overrode them again.

’Harvester execute the plan Arbiter Sevax recommended. Good luck, daughter of the swarm.’

Roulette held her eyes closed as awareness of her surroundings returned to her in a rush.

Thinking quickly, she worked the tear ducts of her chosen pony form as quickly and as hard as she could, causing tears to leak from her eyes.

“Its eyes stopped glowing.” she heard a pony half whisper.

“Is she crying?” another asked in confusion.

“Why is she crying?” a foal asked behind her, before being shushed by her mother.

“Can a changeling even cry?” a stallion asked, his voice thick with suspicion.

Choosing her moment, Roulette jerked her head upwards and around towards the sound of the stallion’s voice.

More than a dozen ponies were staring at her from above and around the couch that she had hidden behind. Many of them jerked in fear at her sudden movement while several foals looked on in curiosity, often held back by the forelegs of their mothers.

“Eeep!” she squeaked, that was a lot of attention focussed on her. Forcing down her sudden sense of panic, being in front of ponies who knew she was a changeling was never an easy thing, she let out a long sigh.

“Well. Looks like I’m well and truly discovered,” she said as she flopped her head back down onto her outstretched forelegs.

A stallion’s hoof came down mere inches from her snout. “Give me one good reason not to throw you out to that dragon, changeling,” the stallion growled aggressively, though she could tell that his bravado was mostly a front.

“It doesn’t matter,” she mumbled in as apathetic tone as she could muster, “my sister just died trying to slow that dragon down.”

She carefully sipped on the burst of surprise and sympathy that came with her pronouncement, using some of their own sorrow to make her own false emotions more real.

WHUMP!

Roulette looked to the ceiling as the ground shook underneath them. Spike had just stepped next to the building they were hiding under.

“He’s so drunk on rage and greed it would take a small swarm to calm him down.”

Shakily, she stood and stepped towards the stairs, only to be blocked by the aggressive stallion, a suspicious look on his face.

“Please step aside. I will try to drain as much of his anger as I can.” green fire spread across her body as she spoke, revealing her normal chitinous form, much to the horrified fascination of the ponies in the room who had been looking on.

The newly revealed nymph walked to the top of the stairs and closed her eyes, allowing her horn to ignite as she pretended to drain emotion from the dragon outside.

“WHAT?!” she cried out, rearing up on the landing. She siphoned some of the anger from the ponies below her who had regarded her suspiciously, using it to amplify her enraged bellow.

“That’s manufactured rage!”

Roulette turned on the landing to face the ponies below her, anger clearly visible on her face as she gnashed her fanged mouth. “Somepony cast a spell on the dragon! I can’t take emotion that isn’t real…”

The nymph trailed off as if she had just realized something.

“Quill! I need a quill and ink, quickly!”

Several of the ponies shuffled nervously, unsure what to make of this changeling in their midst, one or two of them automatically checked their saddlebags.

A young colt cried out, “I got chalk,” as he held up a white stick.

Roulette raced down the stairs and snatched up the chalk, bumping a mare out of the way as she cleared some floorspace. Sighting carefully, she lodged the piece of chalk in a small hole near her hoof.

Working rapidly, she drew 4 lines to make an eight pointed star, marking positions on two of the arms. She pulled her head up and inhaled deeply, drinking in some emotions as she pretended to take a whiff of the air.

She marked a third arm as some of the ponies around her took curious sniffs of the air. Barely a second later, Roulette was scribbling equations onto the wooden floorboards as quickly as she could.

“What are you doing?” one of the mares near her asked nervously.

“If I can’t drain the dragon’s emotions, I can cancel them out,” she said, frowning in concentration, drinking in the curiosity the whole time, “now hush, emotional vectorization is HARD.”

“Emotional what now?” another mare asked.

“Changeling maths,” Roulette dismissed, “how to mix emotions to enhance or counteract another one.”

The room lapsed into near silence, several of the ponies watching curiously as the changeling worked for almost a minute more.

“Got it!” Roulette cried out in triumph.

“I need to gather as much fear, grief and happiness as I can get my hoofs on…”

“Now hold on there, bug filly, you ain’t stealing any of my emotions!”

“You’re not turning me into a zompony!” Another cried out.

Roulette facehoofed. Hard. “I really hate those Daring Do books,” she moaned.

“Idiots, you have no idea how emotivores work, do you? If you take an apple from a tree, does it grow a new apple next year? SAME THING!” she shouted the last two words. “Whatever I drain comes back in a day or two, sooner with proper motivation.”

“You can have my fear if you like. I don’t like being afraid,” said a unicorn with a bright green mane.

“Come on and grab my hoof then, we don’t have time to do this the slow way.”

A hesitant second later, the unicorn was washed over with a pale green fire and put her hoof down. “Oh wow… I feel kinda numb, so weird.”

Seeing that their neighbor was otherwise unhurt, several of her friends pushed forward and offered their hooves as well. Four flashes of fire later, Roulette stepped back.

“Hold on a sec, too much…”

Hacking and spitting a few times, she rapidly spat out and moulded four crystals with her magic, two a sickly yellow, one a deep blue and the last a bright green.

“Okay, I’m good now.”

“What are those?” a foal asked.

“Crystallized emotions. I can’t hold too much, or I’ll get very sick. Like if you eat too much candy.”

As she spoke, Roulette drained another two ponies, before turning back to shake hooves with her seventh.

“You go do what you can to stop that there dragon, you hear me young missy?” an elderly mare said as she held out her hoof.

“I’ll do all I can. If it’s not enough, I’ll send a message to everyling I can to come help. This town is my home too, you know.”

The elderly mare nodded as the fire washed over her. “Good filly.”

As Roulette turned to generate more crystals, she noticed a colt with his nose near the ones she had just made. “Look all you like,” she chided, “but don’t taste them or you’ll end up like that dragon. Concentrated emotion is very bad for ponies.”

The foal drew back at the thought of becoming a monster, watching with awe as she generated five more crystals.

“One more batch should do it,” Roulette panted with exertion, “At least if my numbers are right.”

Several more ponies clambered forward to offer themselves to her and in short order, she was generating another four crystals.

“Ow,” Roulette panted, “that was hard.” Stepping forward, she hocked up a final ball of slime and formed it into a large green case around the crystals.

“Now to slow down that dragon. Stay here where it’s safe, if it doesn’t work, I’ll try to lead it away from town.” Placing the large crystal on her back, she climbed the stairs before turning into a pegasus on the landing in front of the door.

“Wish me luck!” she called as she opened the door into the shop above and vanished from sight.

As she flew south and most resolutely away from the enraged Spike, Roulette’s eyes lit up.

‘Cogitator Echoing Truth, this is harvester Roulette, please forward my compliments to Arbiters Deliberata, Sevax and Kledji. Eighteen crystals and change harvested in under a minute.’

She could feel the shock over the link as Echoing Truth received her message.

‘Ponies really are stupid.’

CRACK-BOOM!

“Vinyl! Vinyl wake up!” the frenzied and most unladylike cries echoed through the house as Octavia raced upstairs.

Actually kicking down Vinyl’s door, she dove for the edge of the bed, where she spied the slumbering DJ’s tail hanging out from underneath the covers.

Clamping down with her teeth on Vinyl’s tail, Octavia did her best to shout her warnings to her roommate even as she was dragging her physically from her bed.

“YOW!” Vinyl Scratch shouted as her rump hit the floor, her head dragged backwards through her sheets.

“Octy! What’s gotten into you?”

“Can’t you hear him?” Octavia shrieked, gesturing at the window as she dropped Vinyl’s tail. “Twilight’s dragon has gone berserk, he’s tearing apart the town! We have to get out of here!”

“What, Spike?” Vinyl scoffed as she stood and walked to the window to see what all the commotion was about.

“The little dragon we see sorting books and playing with fillies? HA! What’s he doing this time? Riding one of the fillies to joust with Carrot Top? Lusting after that fashion mare, what’s her name? Rarity? No, no, wait. Don’t tell me. He’s plotting the downfall of Twilight’s pet owl again.”

Vinyl’s derisive laughter was cut off by the reverberating boom of an enormous footstep in the distance.

"GRAAAAAAAAHH!!!"

Octavia swept the curtain aside and raised an eyebrow at her roommate as she gestured grandly to the view of a gigantic rampaging purple dragon standing over shattered shell of what was once the town hall.

“Riiiiiight... not so little. What are you waiting for? Let’s scram!”

With a clatter of hooves, Vinyl was out the door and headed for the stairs, Octavia hot on her heels.

“Wait!” Octavia cried, “What about my jewelry box?”

This time, it was Vinyl’s turn to grab Octavia by the tail “You wanna carry shiny stuff when a dragon is on a rampage? Are you crazy? You might as well bathe in ketchup for him.”

“Oh, right. Let’s just get out of here.”

Winding their way down the street, passing a trio of houses that had already been flattened, the pair spotted other ponies running for the Whitetail Woods and joined them.

“This way!” shouted a tan earth pony near the entrance to the woods, her voice carrying over the sounds of panic. “Go deeper into the woods where it’s safe. Everypony come this way!”

The pair joined the flow of frightened earth ponies and unicorns down the path and into the woods as pegasi flitted through the trees above them.

It wasn’t long before they passed under a small rope bridge set between two trees. Octavia stopped to peer closely at the trees, nudging Vinyl as she came to a stop and turned.

“It that a tree house?” she asked, pointing with a hoof.

“Hey Featherweight, see anything yet?” they heard the voice of a colt cry out from inside.

“There’s pegasi coming from Cloudsdale and Canterlot!”

“Cool!” the colt shouted back, “D’ya think it’s the Wonderbolts?”

“Featherweight, Rumble! Over here, over here! There’s somepony coming from the Everfree Forest!” a third colt shouted from a couple of trees over.

“Wha? How the hay did you get up here, Pipsqueak?”

“LOOK! Use your spyglass, mateys!”

The two mares listened on curiously to find out what was going on.

“This way everypony,” called the Mayor from behind them as she led a final group into the woods, “there is a nice big clearing near the middle where we can gather and figure out what to do once the dragon has been stopped.”

“...d’you think it is?”

The words floated down from above Vinyl and Octavia, partially drowned out by the Mayor’s call.

“I think it’s the human everypony was talking about, but why is it running towards the dragon, and why is that pony following him?”

“I can see a horn, and she’s purple. Guys! I think that’s Twilight Sparkle!” Came the excited voice of Pipsqueak as he used Featherweight’s camera lens as an impromptu telescope.

Rumble tapped his forehooves excitedly. “WOW! I bet she’s making the human come fight the dragon for us!”

Pipsqueak talked through the side of his mouth as he kept his view on the human and the lavender unicorn following him. “D’you think he’ll really breathe fire at him? I wanna see that mean dragon burnt down to gryphon chow!”

“Dragons are fireproof, stoopid! It’s gotta be something else.”

“Alright then Feathers, if you’re so smart how do you beat a dragon?”

“I dunno, Rumble. I wish we could do something ta help.”

“I know what ya mean, Feathers. I wish Thunderlane was here. My big bro always knows what to do.”

The excited, but confused voice of Pipsqueak cut in. “Wha?! The human’s stopped, mateys! He stopped running and now he’s… dancing?”

“DANCING?” Rumble and Featherweight echoed, looking at the ever piratical Pipsqueak like he had gone out of his mind.

“Dancing?” Two mares below them had turned to each other in confusion, wondering what in the world was going on out there to cause Iroh to start dancing.

CRACK-BOOM!

“Iroh,” shouted the lavender unicorn, skittering after the old man as he puffed his way across the field, huffing like a stallion who had just galloped a mile, “what are you doing? You can’t fight an angry dragon! He’ll eat you alive!”

“Not…. huff… not fight…” Iroh wheezed to the formerly green unicorn, “distract… huff huff… if those... pegasi… huff… aren’t... hurting it… huff... with kicks… I will… huff huff… only annoy it…”

“What?” she shouted as she drew level with Iroh and slowed to a fast trot. “How are you going to annoy him?”

“No, no time… to explain… must get… to top… of that… hill…WOAH!”

With a jerk, Iroh was lifted off his feet by a pale yellow aura as his miscolored companion picked him up with her levitation and sped up to gallop across the field and to the top of the hill on the opposite side.

“Thank you,” Iroh said as his breathing returned to normal, “now I suggest you put me down and stay clear. This is very dangerous.”

Not giving the unicorn a chance to respond, Iroh stilled himself for a couple of seconds before snapping his arms out and beginning a series of intricate circular motions.

The pony suffering a bout of Lavender Unicorn Syndrome watched his movements carefully for a moment before looking towards the town nearly a quarter of a mile away, Spike towering over the buildings with what looked like the top of a water tower tucked under one of his arms.

Several pegasi flitting over the devastated town paused in their circling to hover and look in their direction, as if they sensed something that she could not.

Come to think of it, why did it feel like her mane was lifting off of her head?

The lavender pony turned back, just in time to see a long spark arc between Iroh’s hands, from the tips of two outstretched fingers to the tips of the two outstretched fingers on his other hand.

Her jaw dropped. Another spark arced, then a third as Iroh picked up speed.

With a snap, Iroh brought his arms together and sighted down his arms towards the distant form of the rampaging Spike.

CRACK-BOOM!

Author's Note

Right, pre-read at the very least. Chapter split in two to keep with my standard chapter sizes.

Thanks to epreeses1 and Ice4smaster for pre-reading.

Echoes of Thunder

“Hey, Big Shot!” shouted Eff Stop to his fellow news photographer, “You feel that? Feels like somepony’s bringing in a storm cloud, a big one!”

Big Shot craned his neck to look around the near cloudless skies around Ponyville, “I hear ya, but I don’t see it. Geez! It’s like standing next to the Cloudsdale Storm Generator!”

“Maybe somepony’s rocking a lightning talent and is setting up to zap the lizard.” Eff Stop speculated as he flew closer to make conversation easier.

“That’s probably it, we better make sure we get shots of whoever it is.” Big Shot started scanning the sky, looking for a telltale trail of sparks.

“Can you tell which direction it’s coming from? I can’t see any of the pegasi up here generating that kind of voltage.”

Big shot looked around nervously as Eff Stop placed his eye to his camera again to carry on taking photos. “I dunno, but if they don’t look out they’re gonna crack a hundred kiloamps and fry like a -”

CRACK - BOOM!

“SWEET CELESTIA'S TEATS!” shouted a now blinded Eff Stop, very glad of the strap attached to his camera as he dropped it to cover his eyes from the flash of lightning.

“That came from the ground!” Big Shot called back, also rubbing at his eyes. “Who the hay generates lightning from the ground?”

“D’you think it was a unicorn?” speculated Eff Stop.

Big Shot glared at his friendly rival through bleary eyes, “Are you outta your mind? If a unicorn could do that, they would be more famous than Sapphire Shores and Fleur de Lis combined.”

Big Shot’s eyes widened as he looked past Eff Stop, spotting a blackened pegasus falling out of a slowly drifting green cloud. “They hit somepony! Go grab help.”

As the brown pegasus photographer shot past him, Eff Stop held his fedora in place with one hoof as he went from hovering to a full dive towards the nearest cluster of pegasus onlookers.

“HOY!” he shouted as loudly as he could to the small crowd of dazed pegasi. “Somepony got hit by that lightning bolt! They need help now!”

There were several gasps in the crowd, some of these pegasi were on the local weather team and knew that lightning, especially lightning as powerful as they had just seen was incredibly, and lethally dangerous.

A trio of mares and a young stallion, barely more than a colt flew forward for directions.

“You three come with me,” Eff Stop ordered, using the voice of command known to photographers and politicians everywhere, “You, fly to the hospital as fast as you can, warn them we have a lightning strike victim coming in. Let’s go!”

In a flurry of wings, the five departed as quickly as they could, a few extra busybodies following Eff Stop and the mares with him as they made for the downed pegasus with all the speed they could muster.

About halfway to the edge of the Whitetail Woods, Eff Stop caught the telltale contrails of incoming Wonderbolts coming in from ahead and slightly to the left their group.

“Flitter,” he called to the light blue pegasus flying next to him, “you’re the fastest, get over to the Wonderbolts and warn them. They need to know somepony’s throwing around lightning.”

Flitter did not even answer, she just peeled off and accelerated towards the incoming blue and yellow clad stunt fliers.

'MINE!' Spike’s voice cheered inside his own head, even as he grew and roared his defiance, a slave to his own instincts and power.

With a crunch, another home was ripped asunder, it’s contents swiftly pillaged of their tasties and shinies before the unattractive things were cast aside, destroying gardens, sheds and even other homes.

The pegasi flitting around him renewed their assault, their high speed kicks barely even noticeable against his ever thickening hide.

This was POWER, this was GLORY this is what it meant to be a true dragon. 'Behold my majesty! Behold my might! Give me what is MINE! ALL MINE!!!'

With a groan, another house was ripped from the ground, its walls cracking and breaking under the grip of his claws as he used his jaw to take hold of the roof and twist it off. A dozen ponies screaming and running from their hiding place below the former house.

'MORE SHINIES! MOOORRRE!'

Spike dropped the house, now empty of anything that looked like it should be claimed as his as demanded by the power of his draconic glory.

He turned and bent down. Maybe this next house would have something truly befitting his awesome majesty.

'CRACK - BOOM!'

His back tingled as a lightning bolt flew over him, some sparks splitting off to trail along some spines that were a little too close for comfort.

”RAAAAAAARRRRRR”

'Who dares?! WHO DARES DEFILE THE SPINY BACK OF THE AWESOME KING SPIKE!'

Spike reared up, his latest hoard collection forgotten as he scanned for the blasphemous cur who would so defile his magnificent visage.

No, no pony there - wait!

There.

A fat being dancing and swinging his arms around while a pathetic purple pony looked on with horrified eyes

There…

He is the one who blackened the scales of a god in the makings.

'Attacker…'

'Blasphemer…'

'DEFILER!'

'DIE!!!'

With a roar, Spike trampled the building he has been about to pick up as he charged across town, tearing it apart to get to the lighting throwing blasphemer and his companion.

No pony throws lightning at The Magnificent and Awe-Inspiring Spike!

'Nopony.'

With a thump, a pegasus dressed in a blue and yellow suit and trailing sparks crashed into his snout, hooves first alongside two similarly dressed ponies.

SPARKS!

'NO! You won’t get away from me, little lightning ponies! Feel the wrath of Spike!'

With a roar, Spike turned again, chasing after the trio of Wonderbolts as they flew out of the town to get enough distance for another pass.

“Hey, Surprise,” the orange maned Wonderbolt called out to her formation leader, “looks like the dragon is a fan. He’s trying to follow us.”

Surprise smiled grimly and called back, “Nice. Slow up a little and let him chase us. That town’s wrecked as it is we’ll work him some more once he’s in the open a bit more.”

The third Wonderbolt, her curly mane whipping crazily in the wind, came in closer to make herself heard. “Did you spot who made that lightning bolt? I’ve never even heard of anypony with that level of control. Do you think there’s a Gale King somewhere here?”

Surprise snorted. “Do you see chunks of dragon flying around? If there was a Gale King around here, the dragon would be D-E-D dead! Smoking crater and all that jazz.”

“Umm… isn’t dead spelt…”

“Not the point!” Surprise interrupted her wingmare, “Whoever it was, I’ll bet that by the end of the day they are going to be buried in recruiters for the weather factory, either that or neck deep in shackles. I don’t know if you two saw it but whoever it was hit somepony.”

“Highwinds!” the orange maned pegasus called to her fellow wingmare, “you’re good at egghead stuff, how bad would a hit from a bolt like that be.”

“You see the cloud of featherdust that came off of that mare when she got hit, Blaze?” Highwinds started, waiting for the other mare to nod.

“Last time I saw a cloud of dust like that, a noblepony was having his unicorn guards blast a pile of Rarity Originals like they were a pinata.”

Blaze looked dumbfounded. “What?! Who would do that to a Rarity? Those dresses are expensive!”

Highwinds turned her head slightly to look sadly at Blaze, "That's the point though, the dresses stood about as much chance as whoever that poor mare was."

Blaze blanched. "You mean she's..."

Highwinds didn’t have time to answer as Surprise took charge.

“Game faces ladies, that mountain there looks good enough to take on a 60 hoof dragon.”

CRACK - BOOM!

“WOAH!”

Three colts watching from the trees looked on in complete awe as the bolt of light split the scene before them, only to look on in horror as the bolt passed through the sky above them and caused a green explosion above the trees in front of them.

A blackened, mangled pegasus fell out of the sky before them, one wing trailing behind her, and the other seeming to dissolve before their eyes.

“Oooohhh! That’s gotta hurt!” cringed Rumble, his wings clamping closed against his body in sympathetic pain.

“WAH!” Featherweight took one look at the falling pegasus and dove into the canopy in horror, tumbling down into the treehouse and nearly straight out of it.

Pipsqueak was silent as he watched the mare falling into the trees. He clung to the tree branch he had been standing on so playfully only moments before, lost in the memories that assaulted him.

Suddenly that wasn’t some anonymous pegasus mare, falling out of a cloud of her own feathers. In his minds eye, it was his big sister, flying too close to a thunderhead as she practiced tricks while her ground bound brother looked on.

Tears squeezed from his eyes as he wailed in remembered grief, renewed by the scene before him.

“Pips? Pips are you okay?” Rumble called, hearing his friend’s distress.

With a short leap, he swooped the short distance to the next tree where Pipsqueak had been watching from.

“Pips? Oh no.” Rumble turned back towards the tree he had just came from and shouted to their wiry friend. “Featherweight! Get over here. We gotta get Pips down now!”

“Hey,” a mare called from below, “is everything alright up there?”

Rumble shouted back down from the treetops where he was now holding his friend steady on the tree branch, “No, Somepony got hit by lightning and Pipsqueak’s freaked out! Can you help get him down?”

Octavia gasped and looked to her friend while Vinyl cursed under her breath.

“My levitation has terrible range,” Vinyl called back, “can you keep him safe until we get help?”

“Y-yes ma’am.” Rumble sounded unsure of himself and Vinyl could hear it.

“Hold on tight then.” Vinyl turned to the direction the rest of the ponies fleeing Ponyville had gone and set her stance, her hooves all planted firmly on the ground. “Cover your ears, Octy, I’m droppin’ the bass.”

“EEP!” Octavia backed up rapidly and dove for the ground as she covered her ears with the crooks of her fetlocks as the trees shook with the power of Vinyl’s amplified voice.

”This is DJ PON-3, we have foals stuck in a tree here and need help. I repeat: we have foals in need of help here. Follow the wubs to find us!”

With that done, Vinyl quickly generated a small ball of light and set it to emit a pulsing wub wub wub wub

“You’re DJ PON-3?!” an excited voice shouted from the treetops. The skittering of hooves was heard from another tree as Featherweight scrambled to his hooves and darted for the forest floor.

“Really Vinyl? Did you have to go quite that loud? And to use your stage name as well, how gauche can you get?” Octavia complained as she sat up and rubbed her ringing ear with one hoof.

Vinyl merely grinned at her friend. “Never underestimate the power of fans, Octy. I once saw a group of stallions, all of them absolute studs making a bridge out of their own bodies just so Sapphire Shores could walk over them instead of getting mud on her hooves to get to her chariot.”

Octavia back flatly. “You do realize they were paid to do that, right?”

Vinyl’s grin dropped as she threw her head back with a hoof against her forehead to cry out melodramatically. “Stop crushing my dreams!”

FLASH!

“Yow!”

Vinyl looked up from her now prone position on the ground to the pegasus colt laughing softly above her, a camera in his hooves. “That’s gonna be a great shot! Can you sign it for me, Miss PON-3?”

“Sure, buddy, sure. Just warn me before you take pictures, eh?”

“Okay! Smile!”

FLASH!

“Ack!”

CRACK - BOOM!

A temporarily purple jaw landed on the grass.

“Did… Did you just make lightning with your hands?!”

Iroh glanced over his shoulder as he began the sequence of movements anew. “Did you think I was crazy enough to fight a dragon with fire?” he called back to her, “Where I come from they are a source of fire bending, I think it’s a pretty safe bet they are similar here!”

“They’re immune to fire.” the miscolored unicorn confirmed. “Wait! There’s pegasi coming in close to him, don’t release it yet.”

Iroh frowned in concentration as he continued his dance. “The longer I hold it, the stronger it gets and I can’t hold it for long.”

The temporarily sufferer of lavender unicorn syndrome narrowed her eyes as she spotted new fliers attacking the dragon in formation.

“Those are the Wonderbolts!” his unicorn friend shouted in excitement, “They’re leading him out of town.”

“Good.” Iroh turned as he danced to face his companion.

“Get well back. I’m going to discharge this into the ground.”

The obsessive unicorn took one look at the long arcs of electricity connecting his pointed fingers and backed up as quickly as she could, doing her best to never break line of sight with Iroh’s hands.

SNAP!

With a twin thrust, Iroh drove his fingers into the soil and discharged the second lightning bolt, creating two small glassy craters as he did so.

Iroh rocked back and sat down on the grassy hill, his legs outstretched before him and cradled his forehead in his hands.

“This is not going to end well,” groaned Iroh as he rubbed his temples, “this will not end well at all.”

“What are you talking about?” the purple pony asked, “you distracted the dragon and now the Wonderbolts are leading him away so he won’t do any more damage. Plus you got to throw lightning around! I know pegasi who would chew their own wings off for a chance to do that.”

“I missed.” Iroh looked up at the pony unhappily, “I missed and killed one of the flying ones. A pegasus.”

Her eyes widened as her ears drooped, “Oh. Oh no! What are we going to do?”

Iroh was resigned. “For the moment, we watch and make sure the dragon does not come back. While we do so, we go help as many of your people as you can, there are bound to be injuries in all that mess.”

“That’s it? No charging in to beat up the dragon? No chasing him away, so he never hurts anypony again?”

At this Iroh turned a disapproving frown on the mare, appearing angry for the first time she had ever seen. “One of your own kind lies dead by my hand, your village in ruins and probably dozens injured and your first thought is to get the old man who could barely run up a hill to go chasing a dragon for what will possibly be miles?

“That is the mindset of a thug, a soldier, not to mention plain crazy! I may have been a soldier once, but those days are behind me. All I can do now, is help with the cleanup and possibly do what I can to ensure that no more sons or daughters are mourned for tonight.

“If the dragon returns, I will do my best to distract it, or chase it away, or spirits forbid, kill it. Now come, let us help where we are needed, unless you want to go chasing that beast yourself.”

With a huff, Iroh stood and turned, stalking into town with mayhem on his mind - specifically, how to fix someone else's mayhem.

Tomorrow's Headlines... Today's Headaches.

“Aw, don’t feel too bad, Rares,” Rainbow Dash tried to console her friend, “the only reason me and Applejack knew that that was Spike was because we saw him in the process of turning into a 60 hoof monster when he was stealing the Apples' apple trees”

This, of course, only caused Rarity to pout and tear up even more.

“That just makes it worse!” she wailed, “I have a reputation for attention to detail! How can I keep that reputation if I can’t even recognize little Spikey?”

“Well ta be fair,” Applejack tried her hoof at a slightly more tactful attempt at comforting her friend, “ya were under a whole lotta stress back there, sugarcube, what with bein’ foalnapped and all.”

“Aren't we forgetting something?” Rainbow Dash interjected, “If even Rarity couldn’t recognize him, the mare who spends the most time with the little guy outside of Twilight, I don’t think anypony else in town would have much of a chance to work out it was him either.”

“Dash does have a point, sugar. That don’t mean we don’t have some serious cleaning up to do back in town. Ah know at least a couple of buildings will need some repairs and a couple more will need rebuilding.”

Rarity perked up slightly at this. “You’re right, of course. Come on then, we shall have to see where we can provide help in town.”

Looking ahead, they spotted Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy watching awkwardly as an irritated Twilight stomped into town, leaving a morose Spike sitting on the stone rail on the edge gazing at the destruction his own greed had wrought.

"Leave this to me, darlings." Rarity said, as she glanced sidelong at her friends, "I'll talk to Spikey and get him out of his funk."

With a flick of her admittedly slightly disheveled – the horror! – mane, Rarity approached the young dragon and started quietly talking to him while the other four mares looked on curiously.

CRUNCH!

The body of a pegasus crashed through the canopy at the edge of the Whitetail Woods and hit the ground in a tangle of limbs, her fur scorched almost completely from her body and her wings all but devoid of feathers.

Big Shot landed mere seconds afterwards, reflexively punching the button on his camera a couple of times as he covered the last few yards on hoof.

Placing his ear against her bloodied and cracked barrel, he listened in vain for a heartbeat or breathing.

It was upon this scene that Eff Stop, reporter and photographer for the Canterlot Times, landed alongside two other pegasus mares.

Shrugging his camera harness off of his neck, Eff Stop raced forward to check on the mare, wisps of smoke slowly rising from her body. With a short whispered exchange of words, Big Shot confirmed the worst.

“Go get rid of the fillies, yeah?” Big Shot, said quietly to his friend, “No need for them to see this. I’ll watch over her for now, you go find the crazy son of a llama who launched that bolt. I’ll trade you coverage on this side if you want.”

“Deal. Take care.”

With that, Eff Stop turned to the two mares behind him and shook his head sadly, causing one to gasp and throw her hooves in front of her face and the other to cock her head to the side, not quite understanding why he had made the gesture.

Eff Stop turned to the gasping, cream colored mare first. “Parasol, can you please go deeper into the woods and find a guard pony or two? Try not to be too loud about it, but the guards will be the best ponies to help right now.”

“I-If you say so…” With one last glance over her shoulder, Parasol took to the air and made for the center of the woods and one of the designated evacuation areas for disasters around ponyville.

With a sigh, Eff Stop turned to the lemon yellow mare left in the clearing with him. “What’s your name?” he asked, stepping carefully towards her so as to block her view of the body on the ground.

The mare craned her neck, trying to catch another glimpse of the pegasus she had come to help. “I’m Sunny Rays. Is she gonna be OK?”

Eff Stop almost groaned out loud and very much so DID groan internally. “I don’t know much about medicine,” Eff Stop said gently to her, “but Big Shot was able to determine she’s not going to get any worse. I need you to come with me to help find whoever it was that generated that lightning bolt. We’re probably going to need some help from them and soon.”

Sunny took one last glance back at the mystery mare and Big Shot before turning and cantering towards the edge of the woods and an easier space to navigate for taking off.

“Let’s go then!” she shouted over her shoulder. ”We don’t want to keep anypony waiting!”

Iroh and his purple dyed companion climbed over the rubble and into Ponyville’s town square, watchful for signs of injured ponies or returning dragons.

“Twiiilight! Twilight!” came a call from above and nearby the pair. “We need your help over in the woods! Woah. Is that the human?”

A certain lavender unicorn gave a snort before turning her head skywards. “Oh hey Flitter, what’s the problem? And I’m not Twilight! It’s me, L–!"

A look of intense concentration came over Lyra's face as she tried in vain to say her own name. "L– L– Llllll–!"

Iroh grinned ruefully before looking skywards himself and answering for the tongue tied mare.

"This is Lyra," he called up to her, "not this Twilight I keep hearing about."

Flitter slowed to a hover, eyeing Iroh carefully. “Somepony got hit by lightning over the Woods, I think it might have been Slipstream.”

“Oh no. I’m no good at medical magic, get Doctor Rhino, if you can find him. He’s a vet, but he should be closer than the hospital.”

“Wow, good thinking, Lyra!” exclaimed Flitter before she shot off in the direction of Rhino’s veterinary clinic.

“So, that’s a pegasus…” Iroh murmured as he watched Flitter speed off into the distance.

“Iroh! Over here!” his lavender friend shouted from nearby.

Ambling over, he soon came to the sight of a pink pony stuck under a pile of boards with a large and heavy looking beam sitting on top. An eye searingly pink mare with a green mane and a pale yellow mare were heaving with all their might to free their friend, while Lyra applied her levitation to the beam, but to no avail.

The stuck pony turned her head, her eyes tight with pain until they landed on the approaching Iroh. She sucked in a breath, preparing to let out a powerful shriek until she was cut off by a sharp hand movement from Iroh.

“No time for hysterics,” he snapped, drawing the startled attention of the other two earth ponies. “Lyra, try to levitate the wood just above her, take some of the weight off if you can. You,” he pointed at the yellow mare, “get over there and be ready to push the beam off once I cut it.”

He turned to the bright pink mare who was staring at him in either terror or awe, he was not sure which, yet. “You stand next to me and when I tell you, push the same part as your friend.”

As the bright pink mare moved across the front of the collapsed building, towards where she thought Iroh was going to stand, he beckoned her away. “Not there, over here.”

“But why are you standing so far EEP!” Three of the four mares jumped in surprise as the human’s hands were suddenly cupping small, but intense balls of fire.

“Just stay clear. I don’t want to burn you or your friend,” was all Iroh said before he started hurling ball after ball of fire at a single spot on the beam, watching for it to start smoldering.

It took over a minute of constant fiery assault before the dense hardwood used in the beam started to smolder on its own. All the while a small but steadily increasing audience, primarily pegasi had gathered to watch the spectacle.

“Won’t be long now. Get ready.” Iroh came in much closer, standing mere inches away from the head of the trapped pony, whose name he had learned was Lily Valley.

With sharp circular movements he began working the embers, increasing their intensity, while at the same time keeping them contained to a small area.

The flames burned supernaturally hot, eating their way through the wood as if it were mere paper. Seconds later the beam had been burned all the way through and the flames extinguished.

“Now, PUSH!” With a heave, Iroh put his back into the section of the beam that was not over the trapped pony, joined at first four hooves, then rapidly by almost a dozen more as some of the spectators rushed to lend their aid.

With many hooves, the beam was slowly dragged off of the pile, allowing for others to come in and start moving other boards.

The beam having been cut, Iroh stepped back to allow the ponies to work to free their neighbor.

"Hoi! Can you do that burning thing again on another beam?" Said a stallion from behind Iroh.

Iroh grimaced as he stretched a kink out of his back before turning to the pony behind him. "Of course, show me where it is, then while I cut the beam, you can get some friends to help remove it. I get the feeling this is going to be a long day for us all."

"Miss Mayor!" a pegasus shouted as she landed before racing to the cluster of ponies at one end of a clearing in the Whitetail Woods.

"Miss Mayor, the dragon's left town!"

Mayor Mare turned from the small cluster of ponies she had been calming to smile gratefully. "Thank you, Rosewing. Do you know which direction he was heading in?"

Rosewing grinned excitedly as she hopped from hoof to hoof. "He's chasing the Wonderbolts into the mountains! It was so exciting! First the dragon was like RAAR! SMASH! and then the weather ponies were like ZOOM! BUCK! but they were just annoying him then somepony was like ZAP! and tried to hit him with a weird lightning bolt but he dodged and then the WONDERBOLTS came and they were all like heroic and ZOOM! BUCK! WHACK! and the dragon was like RAARG! and then they flew away and the dragon was like RAAAA! and chased them out of town! – GASP! – then I came here."

The Mayor and the small crowd of ponies nearby gave the excitable mare that special, wondering look reserved for those ponies with a seemingly endless supply of air, the stir crazy and Pinkie Pie (even though she often fit into the first two categories as well).

It took a couple of moments, but Mayor Mare eventually shook herself out of her daze and cleared her throat as she pulled a bullhorn out of her specially prepared emergency saddlebag.

"Attention everypony," she called through the bullhorn. "The danger appears to have passed. Can we have all landponies please start making their way to the edge of the woods so we can start assigning teams for repair and recovery of any damaged buildings in town. Pegasi, please assist in locating anypony who seems lost and point them in the right direction. Also could Sightseer and Milkyway please come to me immediately."

While many ponies started walking back towards the edge of the the wood, two pegasus stallions swooped in and landed before the mayor, both with almost identical telescope cutie marks, though with very different coloring.

"Gentlecolts," she began as she removed a large scroll from her saddlebags, "I would like you two to fly ahead and mark on this map all of the damaged buildings you see, then report back to me at the edge of the woods so we can organize repair teams."

"Sure thing, ma'am," said the lighter of the two, a stallion with an off white coat and a charcoal grey mane as he took the map and immediately took to the air again.

With that, the Mayor turned to the last small group of stragglers hanging around, 'flank-kissing lackeys...' she thought to herself, before schooling her professional mayor face.

"You mares and gentlecolts go on ahead, I will catch up with you."

"Miss?" one of the stallions in the group asked, not recognizing a dismissal when he heard one.

She frowned disapprovingly at the young stallion, "You would prefer to help me answer a call of nature?"

The four ponies flinched and blushed appropriately as they turned tail and hurried after their friends and neighbors.

"About time..." the mare grumbled as she headed into a nearby patch of thick bushes, checking overhead in case of overhead birdbrains.

A flash of green later, the changeling was hurriedly spitting out more than half a dozen crystals of varying colors.

'Phew!', she thought as she stashed the crystals in the bottom of her saddlebag, 'That was almost a little too much...'

The changeling formerly known as Mayor Mare took a moment to think a short report back to the first cogitator she could get a link to before once again becoming the Mayor Mare normally unknown to be a changeling.

Mayor Mare crawled out of the bush and primly adjusted her spectacles as she took her bearings before she set off for the edge of the woods at a brisk trot. After all, it wouldn't do to keep the citizens waiting too long.

Author's Note

Well... that was an unexpectedly long time to get a chapter out. Between losing my mojo over the plagiarist on fanfiction .net and moving home and country - I now reside in insanely sunny Melbourne, Australia!

On a related note to anyone who might live in this city: HOW THE HECK DO YOU SURVIVE THE HEAT?!

Also, plugs to An Alternate Path by Rhino

Hot news

It was under the fourth collapsed building that Iroh and the growing number of ponies assisting him came across something strange – a basement full of ponies, all but two of which were oddly calm.

"Did the nice bug get rid of the dragon already?" said an elderly mare, looking around for some pony and evidently not seeing them.

"A bug?" asked Iroh, "I don't think I have seen many of those today, certainly none that could fight off a dragon..."

His musing was cut short however, with a now regrettably familiar horrified gasp coming from the newly opened doorway.

"Ma-ma-ma-MONSTER!!!" shrieked the stallion who had just caught sight of him and dove back into the basement to the subdued complaints of a few ponies behind him.

Iroh turned back to look at Lyra and his first rescue, Lily Valley, "Ever have the sudden and indescribable urge to play the big bad blazewolf?"

Lily looked confused. "Big bad blazewolf?"

"A popular children's story where I come from, about a bunch of pig chickens trying to build wooden houses to hide from a blazewolf. My nephew used to love that story when he was small, especially when I acted out some parts?"

"Is it a nice story?" asked Lily, tilting her head to one side as she tried to imagine what a human child would look like based on what Iroh looked like.

"Oh no, it's a terrible story," chuckled Iroh. "You have no idea how bad an idea it is to tell to a fire bender child, especially when one of the the highlights is" – here his voice became even more deep and gravelly as he acted out the part – "'Little pig chicken let me in, let me in before I burn you out... BRARG!"

As he finished his line, Iroh reared his head back as he breathed a cone of fire into the sky, narrowly missing a couple of pegasi who we're hovering nearby as they watched Iroh.

At the surprised and fearful shrieks of those around him, Iroh realized his mistake, causing him to scratch the back of his head and grin ruefully.

"Sorry, overdid it a bit there."

A small orange filly standing on a box nearby looked on with wide eyes. "S-s-so. Cool... I gotta tell the girls I found him!"

She jumped off the box, slowing her fall with a buzz of her wings and made her way towards the edge of town where she knew Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom were waiting on any sign of their sisters.

Iroh stroked his beard thoughtfully as he looked at the entry into the sturdy basement.

"Do any of you feel up to going in there after any stragglers? It would probably be best for me to move on to the next building after that little performance."

A couple of ponies nodded while another called out that he knew of another building close by that they could use help getting in to.

At the edge of town, a unicorn who just wanted nothing more than to go home and curl up with a nice book or five was finding yet another reason to be unhappy with today.

"Wait... What do you mean somepony's already organising everypony for the cleanup?"

The unicorn in front of Twilight glanced back at her a moment before returning to her task of carefully pulling the boards out of the half demolished house in front of her.

"Mr. Iroh got everypony on a task before he left to go help out in other spots around town. Last I heard he was over in the market square helping the ponies there get out from under the houses and shops that were destroyed."

Sproing...

Twilight's eye twitched as a few strands of her hair separated themselves from her normally neat and orderly mane and tail. Her stressful day had just been compounded by somepony else organising things!

Twilight's mind went into overdrive...

'Everypony knows that if you get two ponies organising the same thing, their checklists will get mixed up and if the check lists get mixed up then things won't get done and if things don't get done then it will be a disaster and this is already a disaster.

Do you know what happens when you add a disaster on top of a disaster?! It means you have to push things back in order to take care of everything and if you have to push things back it means you might not have enough time to get them done and that makes you... TARDY!!!'

The unicorn's world suddenly shrank as her vision filled with the narrowed, bloodshot violet eyes of an ever so slightly miffed Twilight Sparkle.

"Where. Is. He?" growled Twilight in the voice normally reserved for book defacers and fidgety ponies who just won't stop tapping their hooves in her nice quiet library.

"I-I just said... In the market square... Miss Twilight Sparkle, ma'am... Eep!"

When the mare opened her eyes again, Twilight was mercifully gone, a small dust trail indicating she was making her way to the market.

"Whew..." she sighed. "I wonder who put the pineapple in her rump today..."

With a shudder at what awaited the next target of that perilously pissed purple pony, she turned back and returned to her work.

Milky Way landed beside Mayor Mare just moments after she had emerged from the edge of the Whitetail Woods.

"Miss Mayor, I think we've spotted something you will want to see for yourself."

Mayor Mare's frown deepened with concern as she turned to face the young astronomer. "Oh dear. Nothing bad I hope?"

"I don't think so. You know those rumors about the strange creature wandering around Ponyville?" seeing the mayor nod, he carried on.

"Well I just spotted it in the middle of the town square with about a dozen ponies or so. It looks like it is helping them get to anypony who is trapped or hurt."

The mayor grinned knowingly. "So the mysterious Iroh has finally decided to make an appearance. Would you care to lead me to him?"

Milky Way ruffled his wings and stood straighter at being assigned another task. "Of course, Miss Mayor."

Mayor Mare's grin settled into a more pleasant smile. "Just a moment then, and we can go. Oh Scribed Scroll~!"

"You called?" said stallion intoned from almost directly behind her, causing her to startle badly.

"Sweet Celestia, don't do that!" she scolded as she held a hoof to her heart. "I'm going to go ahead to look at some of the damage for myself as well as to finally meet this Iroh I've heard so much about. Could you be a dear and look at the map I have Sightseer marking for me? We need to get the recovery teams to the least damaged areas first so there are more homes available for everypony to sleep in tonight. We don't know how bad the damage is but even from here I can see there is quite a bit of it."

"No problem, ma'am. You go get to your hoof shakin' and I'll take care of the details. Just go easy on those noodles, you hear?"

The mare blush heavily as the old stallion chuckled. "Scroll! I thought I told you never to mention that again!"

As Scribed Scroll's chuckles deepened, the mayor let out a huff of displeasure as she turned away from him, only causing his chuckles to erupt into full blown laughter.

It was the work of minutes – half of which were spent with the mayor mutter and cursing under her breath about Scribed Scroll and his stupid tasty pasta – to trot back into town and enter the street just in time to witness Iroh beginning some strange actions in front of the side wall of a house, the front of which was almost completely destroyed.

Iroh slid his feet out, taking a very wide legged stance as he cupped his hands before him, all the while staring at the solid wooden wall in front of him. This time there were no beams to cut so he would have to dig out a technique he hadn't used in years.

Slowly at first, then with increasing speed, a line of fire arced gracefully from one hand, over his head and then down to the palm of his other hand, bypassing that hand and completing the circle it had traced.

The ponies nearby were entranced. Some of them had seen Iroh burn through five or six beams so far, assisting in the freeing of dozens of ponies, but this was something new.

Within a few rotations, the line of fire became a true circle, the ponies nearby gasping in awe and appreciation, a pegasus hovering nearby was taking as many pictures as he could of the event.

A few rotations more and it was apparent to all around that the circle of fire was growing more intense, many of them feeling the heat on their faces from several body lengths away.

With a grunt of concentration, Iroh started walking the circle forwards, step by carefully placed step.

When he was close enough to the wall, he carefully pushed the circle the last few inches onto the wall as he maintained the rotation. With precision, he burned a quickly deepening circular trench in the wall, seconds later, there was a cry of surprise from inside as he broke through.

"Let me get out the way, then you can kick that hole in your wall so you can get – OOF!"

Iroh exhaled painfully as the new exit he had cut into the wall was ejected directly into his body and he was knocked onto his back.

"Quite impressive, Mr. Iroh."

Iroh looked up to see a yellow mare with a grey mane standing over him, peering down at him over the top of her spectacles.

After a couple of seconds of staring at each other, the mare added with a smirk, "Would you like a hoof with that, or a pillow?"

"Just as I was starting to get comfortable." Iroh joked. "A helping hoof would be lovely."

Several ponies rushed to help as the mayor stepped past Iroh's head and placed a hoof under one side of the scorched edge of the circle of wood.

"All together now, my dears. One, two, HUP!"

It was as the ponies were moving the disk to one side, that an agitated shout came from the town square, mere meters away.

"HEY! Which one of you ponies is Iroh?!"

Almost as one, those assembled turned their heads to regard the lavender unicorn standing aggressively in front of the fountain, glaring around as if daring them to be the object of her wrath.

"YES!" came the joyous shout from next to Iroh.

Twilight barely had time to turn from the group of ponies she was examining before she was caught by a joyous and very lively lavender Lyra.

With a shriek, the two mares tumbled into the fountain, Lyra focused on her prey.

"MWWWWAAAAHH!!!"

The brains of dozens of nearby ponies, Twilight included, short circuited spectacularly as Lyra laid a massive kiss on the surprised librarian.

Above them, Eff Stop cackled with glee as he snapped several shots, headlines for the celebrity section already racing through his head.

Lyra pulled back from the dazed Twilight to look back at herself. As she saw some of her normal green color showing through – and not realizing it was the fountain water washing the dye out – she exclaimed. "Yes! More PASSION!!!" and dove for Twilight again, oblivious to her audience.

"My goodness..." remarked Mayor Mare from beside Iroh, who was now sitting up.

"If you came looking to talk with me," Iroh muttered out the corner of his mouth, "now might be a good time to make ourselves scarce."

The older mare shook her head as if to clear it a moment before looking to the side and nodding her agreement.

"Yes, good idea. Come on this way..."

The mare turned and moved as quietly as she could around the corner of the building and out of sight, followed by the light padding of Iroh's sandal shod feet, and unnoticed by any of the ponies still staring at the spectacle in the fountain.

Author's Note

Sorry about the mispost earlier today. Being in a hurry to start writing again and using a new medium (I have a shiny new iPad :twilightsmile: ) does not always mix well.

"Quite impressive, Mr. Iroh." – This line for some reason made me picture Judi Dench in the role of Mayor Mare

Scientific Rampage

"Woo HOOO!! Lyra!" A nearby voice catcalled.

"Never figured those two for mare's mares."

"It's always the quiet ones don'cha know?"

"So how long do you reckon before Twi' starts causin' property damage?" This last was muttered by an orange mare who had been following said unicorn, 'just in case.'

"Hee hee... I dunno, think we should go 'rescue' her?" Rainbow Dash said, desperately trying to stay air born as she laughed.

WHUMP!

With a flash of violet magic, the once again minty green Lyra was thrown from the fountain, landing on her back several meters away and hitting her horn painfully in the process as her head fell back.

"Too late..." Applejack tilted her hat forward as she grimaced. She knew Twilight had been having a bit of a bad day and this was bound to make her even more unbearable than she had already been.

"Dash, why don' you grab Lyra and git her outta here? I'll see if ah can get Twi' calmed down, or at least back ta her place."

The pegasus rapidly glanced between the painfully moaning Lyra and the steaming Twilight Sparkle who was even now clambering out of the fountain, with a distinctly dangerous look in her eye.

"Good luck..." she muttered aside to her friend, before launching herself at Lyra and hauling tail out of the square as fast as her wings could carry them.

"No more interruptions!" Came the agitated shout from Twilight.

She turned and glared at a pony in the crowd, stabbing her hoof in his direction. "YOU! Is anypony still trapped in the area?"

"Um... I-I..." He stuttered taken aback by the sudden change from funny to downright frightening.

"YES OR NO!!" Twilight howled.

"No!" The poor stallion cried out, before bolting to hide behind a convenient pile of rubble.

"Fine. Next, where's the pony who was organizing everything? WHERE IS IROH?!"

There were a series of blinks, most of the ponies in the square looked around, but could not spot the human amongst them. A mutter of confusion rose amongst many of them as they asked each other if they had seen Iroh.

Twilight's eyes narrowed as she scanned the crowd for unfamiliar faces.

"Uh Twi?" Twilight's attention was brought to one side as she was approached by Applejack. "Ah think we need you over at the library righ' now."

"Is he there?" Twilight asked though she didn't wait for a reply as she turned and immediately started galloping towards her home, Applejack in hot pursuit.

Several stories above the rushing mares, Eff Stop lowered his camera, having taken dozens of photographs to look around for himself from his naturally higher vantage point.

He blinked as he realized that Iroh had indeed disappeared from the street he had been in before. Going higher, he scrutinized a wider area, even going so far as to crank up the zoom on his camera and use it as a makeshift telescope.

Eff Stop cursed as he came to the conclusion that Iroh had given them all the slip. How could somepony so... so different vanish so quickly?

The grey maned mare before Iroh struggled with her door, it simply would not budge! With a cry of exertion, she took a step back only to spin and plant both of her rear hooves into the wood, breaking the door off it's hinges.

"I was getting tired of that door anyway," she quipped as she stepped over it into the house.

Iroh shrugged as he stepped in after her. He paused for a moment before he followed Mayor Mare into her lounge room and grinned ruefully as he turned back to pick up the door and place it upright in the door frame. At his host's inquisitive look, he shrugged once more.

"It seems a shame to just leave your door lying there on the floor, there has been too much destruction already today."

The Mayor nodded to Iroh with a gentle smile as she turned back and seated herself on one of the couches.

"So. The mysterious Mr. Iroh and his magic teapot," she chuckled. "It sounds almost like the name for a foal's storybook. There have been oh so many rumors flying around about you my dear, that I simply had to meet you for myself and actually figure out what was true and what was not."

Iroh slumped down onto the opposite couch, finding it would be very comfortable, if it weren't so low...

"Well, there is one rumor I can put to rest for you. My teapot is simply a teapot, though it could be said that tea possesses a magic all of its own. But then, we did not come here to just talk about rumors, now did we?"

Iroh scrutinized the mare shrewdly. "I have dealt with many politicians and leaders before in my own home, so I am well aware of how your type works. So please just tell me. What do you want?"

Mayor Mare's pleasant smile slipped into a more neutral poker face. "What I want is simple, I want to know one simple thing. Who are you?"

Iroh's smile almost widened marginally before he reigned in the impulse and schooled his features. Often politics was like a game of Pai Sho, and Iroh was GOOD at Pai Sho, especially at frustrating his opponents to no end.

"I am but a simple traveler on this road of life," Iroh gestured expansively.

The Mayor remained non-plussed. "You do realize I can all but smell your amusement, right? I thought you wanted a straight conversation and instead you reply with riddles. My talent is politics for a reason you know. So, Mr. Traveler, let's cut to the chase: where are you going? Why are you here?"

Iroh sighed.

"I would like to be going back to my nephew, however, it seems that is not possible. As to why I am here? Who knows what the spirits intended for me when I was sent here. I don't even know who sent me here, just that this world as lovely as it is is not my own."

Mayor mare allowed herself a small smile. "If you don't know why you are here, why don't you stick around here for some time? I'm sure that the ponies in my town will be most accommodating of you, especially considering how much you have already done while you were here."

Iroh smelled a mole-rat... A big fat one...

"How do you know how much I have done here? We met only a few minutes ago."

Iroh narrowed his eyes and leaned forward slightly as he examined the mare a little more closely as she smirked back at him.

"A talent for politics may be one thing, but being false will not earn my respect."

Iroh pushed himself to his feet and stalked towards the door.

"Come and talk to me when your town is not in the middle of a disaster, I'm going back out to help," he called over his shoulder.

Grasping the door handle, he pulled the broken door completely away from its hinges, turned around with the door in his grasp, then backed through the doorway, replacing the door backwards in its frame as he went.

Grumbling about politicians, priorities and pesky spirits, he stepped off the porch of the house, only to find his foot did not reach the ground.

"Huh? Whoa!"

Iroh found himself swept off his feet, suspended in a lavender aura. He looked up again to find an unfortunately familiar purple unicorn smirking triumphantly as she stalked down the lane.

"Iroh?"

Iroh nodded twice before her horn lit up further and the world faded to black...

Dear Princess Celestia,

Please find below my report on a creature I had captured in the act of entrancing or otherwise influencing the good citizens of Ponyville this afternoon.

Preliminary report on subject 'Eye Row':

Subject is male, 14.18 Hooves in height, weighing 18 Stone, 12 Rock 8 1/2 Pebble.

Subject is at first glance mostly devoid of hair but for his head and limb joints, but on closer examination is covered sparsely with smaller finer hairs across the rest of his body.

The subject has fore paws and hind paws each with five digits, one of said digits on each forepaw is opposable in the same manner as for a minotaur.

Skin is a varying shade of brown from burlywood to bisque brown. Mane is sienna.

Captured via combined use of sleep spell and teleportation magic by Twilight Sparkle.

Subject has demonstrated ability to speak and understand Equestrian language prior to capture but is being kept sedated due to suspected mind control abilities as demonstrated by its communication with and delivery of orders to the townsponies of Ponyville before its capture.

Questioning of witnesses both before and after capture reveal that subject Eye Row has the ability to generate and manipulate fire using its paws. Further analysis of this ability will be forthcoming once it's source is isolated through thaumatic resonance scans.

Extended contact has reportedly been made with Lyra Heartstrings (unicorn, mare), Bon Bon (earth pony, mare), Vinyl Scratch (unicorn, mare), Mayor Mare (earth pony, mare) and Zecora (zebra, mare). Of particular interest is Lyra Heartstrings who was reportedly witnessed leaving the Everfree Forest in the company of the subject and has shown erratic and disturbing behaviour.

Physical Possessions.

Three apparent sets of clothing and one of armor. Pictures of each attached to this report,

- Cloth in maroon made from unknown fiber, possibly of sheep manufacture.

- Cloak, Robe with gold-yellow trim. Both with sienna highlights in single stripes.

- Second robe worn underneath robe, dark red or brown, heavily stained.

- Cloth in dark green and forest green, similar fibers to first set.

- Robe, no cloak. No sleeves.

- Second robe in lighter green colors, presumably worn in the same fashion as with above.

- Cloth in maroon, with a very large white embroidered collar.

- Full robe, the collar is almost two hooves wide and flexible. The collar would cover more than

a third of the subject's barrel when worn.

- Interestingly, this set of clothes was hidden under a false bottom of the bag and very well cared

for.

- Several connected plates of very strong, slightly flexible material with attached straps.

- I am unable to identify what this material is, except that it is somewhat reminiscent of dragon scales.

- Given the toughness of the material, I am lead to the conclusion that this is a form of armor.

- Paw shoes, two pairs

- The first pair has been made with wood and has two loops on one end which allow grip on the

subject's lower paws.

- The second pair has been made with woven plants, in a similar style to a woven basket and when

worn would appear to cover the lower paws almost completely.

- Saddlebag

- Made with similar material to the third set of clothing.

- Preliminary testing shows this material to be much stronger than the standard heavy cloth

used in saddlebags.

- 14 containers, each sealed with a twist top lid.

- Each container holds a different dried leaf or herb, reminiscent of tea leaves.

- Given the subject is known to have interacted with Zecora, whose talent is known to be potion

brewing, it is entirely possible that these are some kind of potion ingredient.

- One box, containing 64 round tiles: 32 white, 32 black, each tile has a different image on it.
- One circular cloth. One side has been divided into 264 squares and further colored into 8 sections.

- Obviously pieces for a game and its accompanying board.

- One bag containing coins of an unknown currency.

- One kettle, iron.
- One pot, iron.
- One wooden spoon.
- Two metal cups, copper.
- Two very smooth wooden sticks, narrower at one end than at the other and 1.6 hooves long.

While I make a more in depth examination of the subjects belongings, I humbly request the assistance of at least one unicorn
versed in the arts of mind reading and another capable of extinguishing or controlling fires.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

"That should do nicely for now, Spike. Could you please send that to the princess with the photos on the counter?"

The unicorn stretched languidly as she turned away from the table currently holding her captive's possessions. "That should do it for now. In the morning, we'll take a closer look at it and see if we can figure out some more about it. Just let me renew that sleep spell and it will be time for a spell of sleep ourselves."

Spike shook his head at Twilight's bad joke while she giggled to herself and walked upstairs to the closest window so he could send the scroll and photos to Canterlot.

Author's Note

For nitpickers: Yes, I am well aware that imperial measurements (feet etc.) have been used in MLP in cannon, I just decided a slightly more ponified scale of measurements would work better for the story.

For Science!

Amber eyes burst open, their owner letting in a great gasp that quickly turned to violent coughs as he choked on the lungful of cloying incense.

"Wha-" he dissolved into coughs again before clearing his throat and trying again.

"What was that?"

Jeong Jeong retrieved a ladle full of water, kept on hand nearby and held it out for the young firebender to drink from deeply.

"Given the candles were all but a conflagration," Jeong waved his free arm to indicate the melted stubs that littered the ground in a rough ring around the boy, "I'll assume that your attempt at meditation was not successful."

"I - I don't know..." For a moment, Zuko trailed off, looking at the candle stubs as if deep in thought.

"I thought I had it that time. I had found my center just as you said I should. The next thing I knew, I heard something screaming and babbling right in front of me. I opened my eyes, or at least I think I did and saw this - this creature dancing in front of me like a crazy child."

"ZUKO!" Jeong Jeong barked drawing the lad's attention back to himself. His eyes narrowed and he seemed to loom over the still kneeling Zuko.

"This is very important. Did it say anything?"

Zuko rocked back on his ankles a bit at the question before his brow furrowed in thought.

"It said a lot, but it was so fast I couldn't understand what it was trying to say. It kept saying 'spin' and 'they come' over and over though. It looked... panicked?"

Jeong Jeong frowned. "A little thing? Wrinkled red body and big ears?"

He saw a spark of recognition in Zuko's eyes and before he could respond, carried on. "I thought as much."

Jeong Jeong kneeled down and looked directly into Zuko's eyes as he spoke with an air of authority.

"That thing is trouble, Zuko. I have seen it in my meditations more than once, and almost every time it has, it has been a sign of trouble. Do not seek it out when you are meditating. There is very good reason why the Avatar is conduit to the spirit realm, to the rest of us mere mortals it is intensely dangerous to interact with any spirit."

"But - "

"But nothing! The harm a spirit can do to a human is beyond imagining! I have personally seen records of benders getting in touch with a spirit only to suddenly find that they were suffocating to death. Why? Because something literally removed her face! One minute she was in deep meditation, the next she was on the floor clawing at the blank skin where her eyes, nose and mouth used to be."

Jeong Jeong stood and turned away from the shocked and faintly nauseated Zuko. "Go. Go clean yourself. It is nearly time for dinner. There will be no more meditation today."

Zuko's good eye narrowed, he looked like he was going to say something for a moment until he thought better of it and stood, making his way towards the river.

Jeong watched the younger man go out of the corner of his eye, waiting until he was out of earshot before he approached the hut and opened the door.

Chey was kneeling on the floor, grinding at an inkstone.

"I'm already preparing your writing materials," he said in a feigned bored tone.

"The boy is progressing fast," said Jeong Jeong, "almost too fast. Even worse, The Spinner seems to have taken an interest in him, though it almost sounds like it is trying to warn the boy of something."

Chey looked up from his inkstone, his forehead wrinkled in concern. "What will you do?"

The old master sighed. "Tonight, I will try to commune with Avatar Roku, just as he came to me when young Avatar Aang sought me out. With any luck, the influence of the moon will dampen the power of that little pest enough that it won't come to me instead."

The corners of Chey's wide mouth turned up into a wry smile. "If that's the case, I'll go fetch us another case of candles. Spirits know you and now young Zuko too run through them fast enough that I'm surprised you don't meditate on a circle of wax rather than sand."

Jeong scoffed at the image even as he turned introspective. Zuko had only been here for not even a week, but his relentless work ethic was to be admired if not for the fact that the boy just simply never stopped training.

"It is going to be a long night," he murmured to his companion. "Something obviously has that little spirit scared, and whatever can scare a spirit... Well, let's just hope it cannot touch us."

Spike emerged from the laboratory to find a pink mare with a small white cap perched on her white streaked purple mane and a caramel stallion in a lab coat standing side by side as they perused on of the shelves of the library. It wasn't unusual to get one or two ponies coming in through the day to borrow a book, but two coming in together was enough of a break in the routine for him to momentarily forget the scroll clutched in his claw and approach them.

"Hey there," he called out as he crossed the room, "can I help you find something?"

The stallion turned to the young dragon and recognition lit up in his eyes. "Ah yes, we are looking for Magical Minotaur Maladies, or another similar work. Do you have it by any chance?"

Spike turned his head to one side as he lifted a claw to his chin in thought. "I don't think we do, I don't remember seeing a book with that name before. One moment and I will go and get Twilight, maybe she can help you."

At the stallion's nod of assent, Spike turned and scampered back the way he came and opened the door back down to the basement.

"TWI-LIIIIIGHT!" He called drawing her name out as he called for his pony companion. "We got a borrower who needs your help up here!"

"Be right up," her voice floated back to him.

Nurse Sweetheart glanced at the stallion, concern written on her face. The doctor merely smiled back at her and winked.

Spike turned to nod and smile at the pair, before he wandered over to the open window and sent a letter by fire, much to the fascination of Sweetheart, who had never seen a dragon sending mail before. That done, the dragon headed out back towards the kitchen.

In a flash of magic, Twilight Sparkle appeared in the middle of the room. A quick glance around the room located the medical ponies whom she turned to with an enthusiastic smile.

"Good afternoon, how can I help you?"

Doctor Stable stepped forward as spokespony for the pair. "As we had just told your young dragon friend, we are trying to find a copy of Magical Minotaur Maladies or another similar work."

Twilight's brow furrowed as she frowned in thought. "I don't think I've ever heard of that one. Obviously this is for a case at the hospital, can you give me a description of what you are looking for? I might be able to help you find a solution in one of the other books."

"Of course. I have had several cases occur in which I suspect are related to Mazerunner's Narcolepsy. The symptoms I have observed so far include sudden unexplained aggression, dyspnea - which is a form of heavy breathing, impatience, gullibility, and of course suddenly falling asleep for no apparent reason."

Twilight frowned in thought for a moment before turning to the shelf full of medical and magical journals and dictionaries. "Maybe we can find something in..."

With a faint sigh of released breath, the lavender unicorn slumped to the floor, her eyes drifting closed.

"Oh, oh my!" Doctor Stable said with feigned alarm.

"Spine! Spine come quickly, we need your help!" He called out.

Spike rushed from the back room, grumbling slightly at the misspeaking of his name.

"Twilight!" He cried out in alarm, seeing her lying prone on the floor beside the medical ponies. He rushed forward and laid his claws on her shoulder to try and shake her and get a response from her.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the faint blue glimmer of magic from the unicorn before the world faded to black,

"D-Doctor Stable!" Nurse Sweetheart half scolded half laughed as her composure finally broke.

"Gullibility? Really?"

Doctor Stable cracked a grin and wiggled his eyebrows over his glasses at the nurse.

"Please, make them comfortable while I go find our wayward patient. If what I suspect is right, he will be downstairs."

Sweetheart nodded her assent as she knelt and began nosing Spike onto her back. The doctor briskly trotted over to the door to the basement and disappeared downstairs.

Sweetheart had just finished placing the drowsing dragon onto one end of the sofa when the sound of angry stomping hooves came from the basement staircase.

A thunderous Doctor Stable emerged and looked to the gentle nurse. "Come downstairs, I'll need your help with this one."

He turned to head back down, but stopped halfway when he noticed Twilight, still slumped on the floor. A telekinetic lift later, she was preceding him down the stairs and into the laboratory.

Behind him, he heard Sweetheart gasp in horror as she spotted the form of Iroh suspended in the center of a circular frame, each of his limbs clamped in some sort of vice around its perimeter.

Stable placed Twilight on the floor, even now his medical training precluding him from throwing her roughly to the floor as he oh so badly wanted to do.

It took a little fiddling, but they eventually managed to release the clamps that were holding Iroh's hands and feet captive, allowing Stable to gently lower the old man to the floor.

"Hmm... minor stress damage to his shoulders and withers, probably from holding up his weight and his head not being cushioned. He's also got a lot of new scratches since I last saw him, do you think that was from when he was helping everypony around town?"

"I wouldn't be surprised," responded Sweetheart, "after what Drizzle told me about how he was helping everypony get free in town, I wouldn't be surprised at all."

"Shall we wake our slumbering saviour then?" Stable asked with a wry smile.

"Um..." Sweetheart hesitated.

"When I found him in his room at the hospital, he was very scary..."

"Oh pish! I'm sure he was just confused about where he was. He was just having the reaction typical of any stallion in a strange place."

"If - if you say so..."

Doctor Stable turned and focused on his awakening spell, only for it to have no effect.

"Drat! I forgot how powerful that mare is."

With a bead of sweat appearing on his forehead, he overcharged his awakening spell and cast it again.

Iroh came awake with a jerk, his body lifting clear of the floor as he shot awake.

"Easy, easy now, friend." Stable placed a hoof on the back of Iroh's shoulder to steady him as the jolt of the sudden awakening faded.

"Wha? Who?" It was clear Iroh was at least a little disoriented.

"World shaking conversation can wait for later. I'm Doctor Stable, you've met Nurse Sweetheart here before."

The named mare lifted her hoof and waved nervously.

"For now, I think we need to get you out of here and your wounds tended to. But before that, your possessions are on the table over there. Do you think you can stand?"

Placing one hand on a nearby bench, Iroh hauled himself to his feet and scrutinized the room as he wobbled slightly.

"I can stand, for now. I am called Iroh and you have my thanks, I think."

On unsteady feet, Iroh hobbled over to the desk upon which his clothes were piled and proceeded to dress himself.

"What are you doing?" The soft voice of the nurse behind him caused Iroh to turn and look over his shoulder and catch sight of the doctor levitating an unconscious purple unicorn into a circular frame.

"Just giving our charming librarian a healthy dose of her own medicine. If she wants to behave like a villain from a Daring Do book, then she can get treated as one!"

This said, he concentrated as he carefully seated each of her hooves into a clamp before closing them firmly.

"Oh, lovely!" Stable exclaimed as he caught sight of an attachment sitting in a basket next to the frame.

"She has a thaumometer attachment for this, as well. We'll just slip that on her horn, and plug the other end into the grounding socket... I wouldn't want to be her in a couple of hours."

Iroh turned as he finished shrugging into his inner robe and tying it off, his eyebrow raising as the now entrapped unicorn came back into his line of sight.

"Sorry if this looks bad, but we have to do something to keep her from coming after you again. She's more than a bit obsessive once she gets her hooves into a subject." Stable apologized.

"No, it's all right. If she's crazy, she needs to go down until you can get her some help." Iroh shrugged the gesture lost on the two ponies, even though Sweetheart couldn't help but giggle at the comical situation Twilight was now in.

"I know just what this situation needs..." She cast about rapidly for a quill and paper and proceeded to write something as elegantly as she could.

"Can you please stick this on her, doctor? Ohhh! I wish I had a camera now!"

The doctor laughed out loud at the cheeky nurse's note before levitating it up and using a sticking spell to attach it to the middle of Twilight's chest. Iroh for his part chuckled at the note, even though he did not get the reference.

That done, Stable turned to the freshly dressed Iroh.

"I hope you don't mind coming back with us to the hospital? I am the one who treated your wounds when you first got here and it looks like you could do with a little more patching up. Not to mention some rest in a more peaceful environment."

"Then it appears I am in your debt not once, but thrice Doctor Stable." Iroh bowed before him.

"After the madness of the last few days, it would be nice to find somewhere to get my bearings for a bit, not that my visit to miss Zecora was not enlightening..."

The trio left the basement and tiptoed past Spike, who was still slumbering on the couch and leaving Twilight stuck in place in the basement, a sign adorning her chest for whoever came to find her first.

Daring Do Villain Contest
Runner Up

Author's Note

No editor at all on this chapter, hopefully I didn't mess up too badly...

Wakey Wakey!

"Well Iroh, old boy, a few strained muscles, a couple of scrapes and a couple of bruises. To be honest, you're more in need of a good hot bath and a decent massage than any treatment I could give you. I'm surprised you're in such good shape after you were reputedly in the thick of things."

"Not as much as you might think," Iroh chuckled.

"When that dragon was doing it's best to flatten your town, I was coming back from the forest. I only had enough time and energy to take a single shot at him and I missed that one."

"A single shot?"

Iroh frowned at the memory but elaborated anyway. "I have the ability to generate lightning, it's about the only thing I could do that could even get the notice of that thing."

Doctor Stable sat back on his haunches and rubbed the bridge of his nose with one hoof, knocking his glasses askew in the process. "If I were you, I would find my way to a guardspony or possibly the mayor and explain that to them that you did not hit that pegasus on purpose. Sweet Celestia, do you know how much trouble that could possibly be for you if this gets out?"

"I'm starting to get an inkling given your reaction, but why don't you explain it fully?"

Stable stood up and half turned away from Iroh. "Why don't you come with me to the doctor's lounge? You're technically not supposed to be there, but this conversation is definitely not for the general public. You're just lucky that the first pony you mentioned that to is me and that I'm so level headed. If that mare who had you before had had an inkling of that... Well, let's just say you would have been in a whole lot worse position than trussed up in her magic resonance scanner."

Stable stopped suddenly in the hallway as if he had just had a horrible realization.

"Oh. Oh, Celestia's Crusty Croup! The blasted dragon sent a letter!"

"Who would that giant dragon have sent mail to?" Iroh asked, confused.

"No, no! Not the big dragon, the little one! Twilight Sparkle's dragon sent a letter!"

Iroh scratched his head, not seeing why the self proclaimed level-headed doctor was so nervous. "Why is that a bad thing?"

"The mare who decided to turn you into her next science project was Twilight Sparkle. She's the personal student of Princess Celestia, who if you don't know yet is our ruler. It's known by most ponies in town that she sends reports of some kind to the Princess, and that Spike is the one who sends those letters directly to her."

Iroh visibly winced at that thought, considering the rulers he knew from his own world. "What kind of a ruler is she? What do you think she's likely to do?"

In the privacy of his mind, Iroh started a chant - 'Please, not like Bumi, please not like Bumi!'

Stable rubbed his jaw as he thought. "Well, from what I understand, she is incredibly old. Well over a thousand, but how much more I couldn't tell you. She is benevolent if that's what you're worried about. She's very powerful, her talent is moving the sun, and if she wasn't benevolent have no doubt we would know about it by now."

"About the only other things I could tell you are rumors, mostly because I've only met her once before and that was when she gave me my doctor's certificate when I graduated. I have heard before that she loves a good joke or prank though..."

It was about this time that he noticed Iroh sweating. 'Oh crap, she's like Bumi!' was about the only thought in his head.

"Are you okay?" The doctor asked, breaking Iroh out of his thoughts of doom and involuntary mud baths.

"Hmm? Oh yes, your description of her just reminds me of a king I once met. Let me take a guess here and say that because she's so old, she has seen just about everything there is to see."

Doctor Stable nodded.

"Because I am something new and strange around here, she's likely to come here soon after receiving the letter that dragon sent, which I think it is safe to assume it was about me."

Doctor Stable nodded again.

"Which means that as soon as she gets that letter, she's probably going to either come here or, more likely, send for me to come to her."

"Oh she's definitely coming here..." Stable said as he looked out the window. "See that big gold chariot that's coming in for a landing next to the library?"

Iroh stepped up to the window and spotted the chariot for himself. "The one with the huge white pony in it?""

Even from this distance, it was easy to tell that Celestia towered over the other ponies in much the same way a matron towered over her creche.

"That's Celestia alright. Brace yourself, something tells me this is going to get crazy."

"Huh... Didn't expect her to be pegasus, but those are definitely wings."

*Snerk!*

Iroh looked down to find Stable doing his best to suppress a laugh.

Stable took a couple of moments before he could speak again. "Did anypony tell you anything about what types of pony there are?"

"Well yes. Zecora told me a fair bit about the three types of pony, plus some about some of the other races to be found here."

"Ahh. There's the problem. There's not three pony races, there's four."

Stable gestured back out the window to the distant princess who had seemed to be waiting outside the entry to the library.

"Princess Celestia down there is a member of the fourth pony race, or the first one depending on how you are counting. She's an alicorn - she has the major traits of all three of the other races, only magnified greatly."

Behind the pair, the door creaked open to admit a filly followed closely by a nurse.

The filly spotted the pair and looked even further up to find the view of Iroh's bearded face.

"Hey! This woom is fow doctah ponies!" she shouted as indignantly as only a child can, even as she backed up a little to take cover under the legs of Nurse Snowheart.

"Now, now, Nursery Rhyme. I'm sure Doctor Stable has a very good reason for being in here with mister Iroh. Even if he is late for his rounds."

Snowheart leveled a frosty smile on the suddenly nervous doctor. "Don't you, Doctor?"

"Oh. Um-ah oh dear." stuttered Doctor Stable, wilting slightly under the emerald gaze of the nurse.

"Come with me, Iroh. It seems time has rather gotten away with us."

Doctor Stable tried his best to reassemble his dignity as he began hurrying from the room, all the while Iroh was quietly chuckling to himself as he observed the filly doing her best to imitate Nurse Snowheart's glare and only looking the cuter for it.

Iroh closed the door behind him, pausing just long enough to hear the nurse start speaking to the foal.

"That is how you put a stallion in his place. Just remember to..."

Iroh grimaced, recognizing the pattern of the conversation the mare and filly were about to have and hurried to catch up to the pig-hen pecked doctor.

"I hope you don't mind waiting a bit in your room while I catch up on my rounds."

Iroh's stomach took this moment to make itself known.

"Actually, if you don't mind. I'm going to go track down something to eat and some fresh water."

The doctor paused mid-stride and turned his head back towards Iroh. "When is the last time you ate something?"

"I had some tea this morning, before I left Zecora's home. Otherwise, yesterday."

Stable looked like he wanted to pound his head against a wall for forgetting something so basic about a patient's needs, regardless that feeding them was usually a nurse's job.

"Here," he said, levitating several coins out of one of the pockets on his coat. "Take these and see about buying yourself something to eat. I imagine you won't have any bits on you."

"Am I right that these are bits? Then thank you very much. I will retrieve my tea supplies and find myself some dinner."

As Iroh bowed and then turned to head to the room where his bags were, Doctor Stable called out.

"Just stay clear of that library, all right? That mare's going to be steaming mad when she gets out of that device of hers."

Iroh waved his hand over his shoulder to indicate he had heard, although Stable did not seem to understand the gesture at first.

Celestia had been waiting outside the library for almost 5 minutes after she had knocked. This was unheard of!

To make matters worse, her chariot had been noticed by several ponies as she came in to land. She was now surrounded by a small crowd asking for aid in fixing the town in one way or another.

"Now, now, everypony! Give the princess some room, please." The smooth contralto voice of Mayor Mare cut through the general hubbub, much to the relief of Celestia.

"If you would all please return to your homes or continue to assist with the cleanup, I will gladly relay the town's needs for you all. "

As the townsponies reluctantly turned away and went about their business, Celestia heaved a quiet sigh of relief.

"Thank you, Mayor Mare. From all the chatter I gather that was about the dragon attack?"

The mayor nodded her head. "Indeed it was. We had a lot of injuries and a lot of buildings destroyed or damaged."

Celestia frowned. "How bad were the injuries?"

The mayor leaned in a little, to help ensure she was not overheard by too many stragglers. "Lots of broken bones and other injuries of that nature. Some of the more delicate ponies had trouble with shock. Finally, we had a single death, though it wasn't the dragon that killed her. We had a strange visitor turn up in town not long ago and he tried to help chase off the dragon, except that he missed and hit the poor pegasus instead."

The princess was now intensely interested. "This wouldn't happen to be an Eye-row, now would it?"

At the mayor's terse nod Celestia asked her next question. "Have you seen or spoken to him yourself?"

"I've seen and spoken to him, as well as heard a lot of second hoof details. He's old, I know that much for sure. He's friendly in the very least even if he does scare some of us a little with his looks. Given the way he was ordering some of the townsponies around and getting ponies out that were trapped inside buildings or under rubble I wouldn't be surprised in the least if he was a retired guardstallion of some kind.

"He's certainly got the attitude for it," Mayor Mare finished with a grumble.

Celestia giggled as she recognized the mayor's dissatisfaction for what it was. "Singed your snout when you stuck it in, did he?"

"It was like trying to start a rhyming battle with a Zebrican," she complained. "I think he had me figured out almost before I opened my mouth and stopped me cold when I tried to wrangle some answers more than the basics out of him. Then, when he walked out the door, he was snatched up by Miss Sparkle so quickly I didn't even have time to tell her to stop!"

"Oh really? Well, speaking of doors..." Celestia turned and glared at the entrance to the library.

"Nopony has answered my knock, and I know that my student is expecting me."

Mayor Mare stepped past Celestia and opened the door, before turning and raising an eyebrow at her ruler.

"This is a public library, you know? Why didn't you just walk in and announce yourself?"

Celestia looked positively thunderstruck for all of about a second before she grinned sheepishly and walked inside, pointedly closing the door behind her and locking it.

"Hmm..."

Celestia looked down upon Spike, who was sleeping soundly on the couch. Beside him on the couch was the scroll that she had sent in reply to her student.

"Spike?" she called to the dragon.

When the dragon did not even stir at the sound of her voice, Celestia nudged him with a fore hoof. Again, no effect.

With a slightly cross look, she stalked across the room and opened the door. Her sensitive ears could just pick up the faint sound of snores coming from down the stairs.

Sensing something wrong, she advanced cautiously, craning her long neck both to fit through the doorway as well as to peer into the laboratory below.

She charged a small shield spell, in case it was needed, and emerged into the lab itself.

A small stack of notes sat on the desk by the base of the stairs, the smell of herbs permeated the air, the smell seeming to come from an array of small dishes set on the next counter.

Finally as the rear of the lab come into view, she found her wayward student. Sound asleep and suspended in the middle of a very uncomfortable looking circular frame with a note stuck to her barrel.

Celestia frowned. What in the name of butter cream frosted cakes was her student doing suspended in a medical scanning device? A better question, who put her there and why did she have this thing in the first place?

With a spark from her horn, she caused the entrapped unicorn to awaken.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you are in?" she asked her disoriented student in an undertone.

"Hnnn.. Wha? Princess?!"

Twilight recoiled at the sudden sight of her teacher in such close proximity and with one of the deepest frowns on her face she had seen in years. In fact, not since she had borrowed an entire shelf full of books from the Canterlot library as a filly and not checked them out.

Celestia sighed and reached out with her telekinesis, unclasping the restraints and gently floating her wayward student to the floor.

"I came here to meet the creature you were studying, and probably give him a rest from whatever tests you had dreamed up for him. Yes, I'm well aware of the small tests you were doing on the element of laughter and her 'pinkie sense,' but I did not expect this."

Twilight gasped and shot to her hooves. "Ponyfeathers! He's loose again! We have to catch him before he hurts somepony!"

"Twilight Sparkle!" The blast of the Royal Canterlot Voice from Celestia caused the frantic mare to stop in her tracks halfway to the staircase.

"I have already spoken with another about Eye-row. For now he is deemed to not be a threat. This means no more foalnapping and no more imprisoning a visitor to our land. While your caution was exemplary, it was not your place to deal with him. No matter how special you are as my student and as the element of magic, that was a job for the guardsponies at the very least."

"But, but," Twilight rallied, "some of the guardsponies were helping him, not arresting him."

Celestia's annoyance rose sharply as her wings flared out. "They were helping him save lives! This callousness is most unbecoming of my student. Rest assured, I will review his actions personally and reward or punish him as I see appropriate."

The princess closed her eyes and took a deep breathe to help control her temper. "Do you remember the lesson you learned during the incident with the enchanted doll a few months ago?"

"That I don't have to learn a new lesson about friendship every week?" asked Twilight, confused at the change of topic.

"That lessons will come in their own time," Celestia instructed her student, slipping seamlessly into the role of teacher rather than irate surrogate parent.

"Sometimes you need to wait for a better time to learn about somepony or something. Not everything must be learnt right this second and this is doubly true when we are talking about a living being, be it pony or otherwise. If you had waited for an opportunity to talk to this Eye-row, you might have learned so very much from him and about him. Now, I would not be surprised if he viewed you with suspicion at the very least!"

Twilight opened her mouth to protest, but Celestia spoke over her to complete her point.

"Do you know what would have happened if that had been a foreign prince or princess you had snatched up, instead of an old stallion? If he had been a Saddle Arabian or even worse a Griffon, he could be calling for your blood or worse!"

Twilight gulped with dread.

"Wha - what could be worse than my blood?" she asked, almost fearing the answer.

Celestia held herself up in her most dignified pose as she arched an imperious eyebrow at the studious unicorn.

"Your library card!"

Twilight rolled onto her back and covered her face as she moaned in horror and remembered shame at the punishment she had endured for not checking out all those books when she was a filly. "Prin-cess!"

Author's Note

I was of two minds as to if I should publish this chapter as it stands.

At least here we get to see the start of Twilight's remedial politics/ethics lesson.

On another note: YAY! This chapter breaks the 50,000 word milestone!

Yes... this so came to mind...

Grilling while grilling on grilling.

Author's Note

Aren't multiple definitions of the same word fun?

WARNING - a small section of this chapter contains mild graphic references (gore)

EDIT: Sexy new horizontal rules! I am in the process of editing them in to the rest of the story now.

Grilling while grilling on grilling.

Iroh emerged from a side street into the town square. For a moment, much of the activity stopped as the local ponies turned from their efforts at taking stock of their supplies. Many of them had been displaced, their homes rendered uninhabitable by Spike's draconic rampage that morning.

With a shout of glee, several ponies broke from the crowd to talk to him.

"Iroh!" sang out Lyra, her coat now mostly back to it's normal mint green.

Close behind her came Bon Bon and Vinyl, followed shortly by three more ponies he didn't recognise immediately and a fourth that he did.

While Lyra did her level best to tackle Iroh's legs from underneath him, the other five slowed to a halt a more comfortable distance away.

"Oof!" Iroh groaned as he took a mare to the thigh, causing him to turn slightly on the spot to accommodate her momentum.

"Where did you go?" Lyra demanded. "I got my color back and when I turned back to look at you, you were gone!"

"And a very good color it is," Iroh placated the excitable mare while the others caught up.

"I was invited with a chat with your lovely mayor and then a unicorn was MOST insistent on... Well, not speaking to me so much as studying me. Doctor Stable and Nurse Sweetheart rescued me a couple of hours ago."

"Rescued?" some of them exclaimed at the same time.

Iroh paused and looked at the pegasus stallion in the back of the group, a camera hung around his neck and a fedora atop his head. He thought he recognized him as the pegasus who had been flitting around after him taking photos almost non-stop.

"The name's Eff Stop. Who did you say Doctor Stable rescued you from?" the pegasus grinned at him.

"Oh pony feathers!" blurted Vinyl Scratch. "Dude, don't say another word!"

"Ah come ahhn!" Eff Stop's Manehattan accent started to shine through strongly as he realized he was about to be denied a story.

Iroh's brow furrowed and his mouth turned down as he recognized the pegasus who had been following him around and flashing that small but very bright light at him. "Who exactly are you? I saw you following me around while I was helping around town and you never did anything to help."

"He's a reporter for a newspaper," Vinyl growled. "Trust me, dude, just zip the lip and catch up with us later."

"Fair enough. For now I need to find some food. The good doctor told me there would possibly be some food for sale here that I should be able to buy and eat."

There was some muttered suggestions from nearby ponies, many of them including dishes that were their own speciality one way or another. Then, from the back of the crowd, there was a trio of excited high pitched cries.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER CATERERS, YAY!!"

The effect was immediate, a dozen pairs of eyes shrank to pinpricks, while several ponies bolted for their homes, stable building or not.

Vinyl rubber her ear with one hoof. "Yeesh! And ponies call me loud..."

Then she turned and saw the looks of the faces on four of the five other ponies that were closest to Iroh.

"Uhh, girls? Something we should know?"

Lyra turned to Bon Bon. "Where do we hide? The house is half wrecked!"

Octavia looked confused. "Hide? Hide from what?"

Bon Bon turned a haunted look on her before the blue earth pony spoke up for the first time. "The spa didn't get damaged..."

"To the spa!" hollered Lyra, Bon Bon and Vinyl in unison.

As the rest of the group turned and raced off, Octavia and Iroh were left side by side scratching their heads.

"What was all that about?" wondered Iroh.

"I have no idea. Do you think we should follow them?" replied Octavia from the side of her mouth, the eyes not leaving the sight of the rapidly retreating ponies.

"It might be for the best if everyone reacted like - WOAH!" Iroh's reply was cut off as he was bodily lifted from the ground and started moving.

Beside him, Octavia sighed from within a faint blue aura and gestured towards the madly grinning heads of Lyra and Vinyl Scratch. "Unicorns..." she grumbled as she crossed her hooves in front of her.

A minute of floating and running later had Iroh and six ponies inside the entry area to the spa.

A couple seconds more floating and a slammed door later found a very disgruntled Eff Stop ejected from the building and muttering vile imprecations about stubborn DJs.

In the cellars of the Ponyville Hospital...

"Oh my poor little pony..."

Celestia looked sadly down on the as yet unidentified pegasus, who now lay on a sheet covered table. Her wings were almost completely devoid of feathers and the vast majority of her fur burnt from her body, the exposed skin sickeningly blackened and cracked.

She looked up to the stoic Doctor Cribber, a dowel rod of maple hanging from the corner of his mouth like a cigar or a pencil.

"Can you tell me anything about her?"

Cribber nodded before turning to a series of clip boards on the wall. He selected one and levitated it down to examine it for himself.

"Tha repor' 'ere says she was hi' by ligh'ning during tha dragon rampage. She was foun' by Eff Shtop an' Big Shot. Ya know, da pho'ografers?"

Celestia's ears pricked forwards as she did her best to decipher the doctor's nearly impenetrable speech.

"Did you say 'photographers'?"

"Yep, pho'ografers. They shaw 'er get hit an' went ta get 'elp. Nat dat it done 'er no good..."

"Does it say anything about who she is?"

"Nnna! Nat a shing! We go' 'er cullas, bu' dere's nopony in da record what matches 'er."

Celestia sighed with frustration. Even after more than a millennium of rule, it still hurt her to see one of her subjects die before their time.

"Very well. When the report is ready, please send a copy to Black Marble in Canterlot, if she is not identified by then, I have no doubt that he will be able to assist us."

As Celestia turned to leave, she there was a distinct clatter of wood hitting the floor.

"Wait, your highness!" Doctor Cribber's voice was much easier to understand as he had spat his dowel out - an almost unheard of thing for the pony who was the hospital's primary pharmacist.

"Doctor Ostler has a couple of other notes I think you need to hear."

Celestia's interest piqued, she turned and nodded for Cribber to continue.

"Big Shot, who was the one what signed her in gave a witness statement. He says the lightning bolt that hit the mare came from the West, from the other side of Ponyville to where she was and - and it came from the ground."

Celestia froze, she knew that she had been killed in some manner by Iroh, but not that it had been with lightning! She had assumed, wrongly, that Iroh had been throwing fireballs, as would have fitted his apparent talent.

"Given that, Doctor Ostler did a little bit of asking around. Apparently, the lightning bolt was launched at the dragon, but missed him and hit our mare back here. Just about every pegasus who was in the air at the time will tell you though, the bolt was crazy powerful. They were saying at minimum it was over a hundred and twenny thousand amps."

Cribber looked down at the clipboard one last time.

"Look, I'm just not trained right for morgue work, that's Dogger's job. Trouble is, Doc Dogger's up there in the wards helping with all the injuries and he's hurt himself. If ya find out who the fool was that was playing with sparks, give 'em a good swift buck from me, will ya?"

Doctor Cribber floated the clipboard back over to its peg, and seemed to remember something.

"Oh, and if you see this human that's got Doc Stable all giddy, tell him me and the other docs here owe him a lot of thanks. He saved a serious number of lives and injuries with that fire magic of his."

Celestia's frown deepened. There were very few ponies, pegasus or otherwise that she knew of that had both the knowledge and the power needed to create true lightning on this scale. She was starting to wonder what to make of this Iroh.

His purported actions spoke volumes of his willingness to help her citizens, but on the other hoof, his abilities were very dangerous. Demonstrably so if he had already accidentally killed a pegasus in the course of trying to help chase away a dragon. For that matter, what happened to the dragon?

Celestia bade the slightly ragged Doctor Cribber farewell, even as he hunted for his beloved chewing stick and left the hospital deep in thought.

She stopped near the two armored stallions that made up her honor guard for the day.

"Find me the human Iroh. He apparently looks a bit similar to a minotaur or a diamond dog. Do not speak with him, just find him and tell me where he is," she commanded.

"He is in the spa building, your Highness," the guard on the left answered immediately.

Celestia's head snapped to the side as she looked at the stallion in surprise. Looking back down the hill, she noted the clear line of sight her pegasus guard had to the building in question, where she could see a pony sitting outside scribbling on a notepad.

"Well done indeed," she praised. "Come, it is time I spoke with our most recent guest."

"Please stand guard here. I will hopefully not be long."

Eff Stop looked up from his notepad just in time to see Princess Celestia - Sweet merciful Celestia! the Princess herself! - striding through the door of the spa.

He tried to stand and call out to her, only for the door to close behind her and the two guardsponies to close ranks and block his path.

Inside the spa, Celestia noted that there was nopony at the desk. The sounds of voices and faint laughter could be heard from within the spa itself while the aroma of charred turnip, carrot and potato could be smelt over the normal floral scent of the building.

*Fwoosh!*

The sound of a small plume of fire being released was followed by the laughter of several mares.

"You think that's funny?" came the brash sound of one mare's voice. "I bet if you get him in the right spot, it'll blow out his other end and burn his tail off!"

Two of the other mares laughed uproariously while a third more cultured voice gasped in shock.

"Vinyl Scratch! What a terrible thing to say!"

A much deeper voice chuckled. "It is quite all right, Miss Octavia. After all, I have already burned my tail off. Yeowch!"

"You can't fool me," a quiet voice chided. "You never had a tail to begin with or you would have had a very different lower back."

"And a very nice lower back it is," one of the mares grinned lecherously. "Wagh!"

Celestia rounded the corner just in time to see a green mare remove an expertly thrown towel from her face.

A giggling Lyra opened her eyes as she dropped the flung towel on the floor next to the hot tub she and three of her friends were currently enjoying.

Four mares watched as Lyra suddenly stopped laughing and her eyes went as wide as dinner plates, her jaw falling slack from sheer surprise.

Slowly, the others turned and fell silent.

"Is something the matter?" asked Iroh from his prone place on the massage table as he felt the heavenly hooves that had been working the kinks out of his back slow and then stop their steady motion as the room fell silent before the hooves fell from his back and fell to the floor with a soft clop.

"Good afternoon, my little ponies. Is there room for one more?"

Iroh had heard that kind of voice before. Memories of his mother, Ilah, washed over him like a tidal wave and he was just barely able to reign himself in enough to raise his body up to his elbows and look to the source of the voice.

The alicorn that stood in the doorway and filled it almost completely could be none other than Celestia.

*Splash, splash, splash, DONK!*

The five ponies in the room bowed to the princess out of pure instinct. Unfortunately for the four ponies in the spa, this meant that three of them had just dropped their faces into the water while Vinyl Scratch miscalculated her descent and wound up hitting the edge of the spa horn first.

Celestia eyed the ponies, one of them trying to stifle a moan as she nursed her jarred horn.

In front of the massage table, the heavy ceramic bowl had been moved from the sauna. A makeshift frame and wire mesh plate had been placed atop it, holding the cooking tubers she had smelt earlier.

"You may rise," she commanded, lest her subjects in the spa grow a sudden need for gills.

Celestia turned and pinned Iroh with her gaze. "Iroh. I would have words with you about your actions today."

Iroh sighed as he pushed himself upright and cinched the towel around his waist tighter. "It would appear the party is over, girls."

"Not at all. Lotus Blossom, may we use your office?"

Lotus blushed as she looked down. "I'm sorry, your highness, but the two of you would not fit in our office. Perhaps the sauna would suit your needs?"

Celestia nodded her assent. "That will have to suffice. Come, Iroh, we have much to discuss."

Iroh sorely wished he had brought his pack into town now, but decided to make the best of the situation. He walked towards the door to the sauna room, snagging his inner robe from a hook on the wall as he went past and shrugging into it.

He held the door open and sketched a shallow bow as he preceded Celestia.

While Celestia lay down on one of the benches, Iroh sat on one on the opposite side.

"Now. I would hear from you exactly what you have been doing today and why one of my ponies lies dead by your..." Celestia glanced down at Iroh's arm for a moment. "...hands."

Iroh winced visibly before steeling himself and launching into his tale, his long years in the Fire Nation army came to the fore as he fell into the old pattern of giving a report to a superior. Something that, admittedly, he had not done in almost thirty years.

Hot topics.

Iroh leaned back a moment as he gathered his thoughts.

"I left the Everfree forest this morning in the company of Miss Lyra out there. We were about five minutes from the edge of the forest when we heard a loud roar come from the direction on the town.

"When we exited the forest, the dragon could clearly be seen in the town, we could also see that many buildings were badly damaged and that the dragon seemed to be collecting things in what looked like a watertower.

"Lyra assisted me in getting closer to town -"

Here Celestia cut in with a question. "How did she assist you?"

"I tired out from all the running, so she picked me up with her magic and carried me the rest of the way up the last hill. Do all unicorns have a habit of picking others up and dragging them around?"

Celestia grinned ruefully. "It is not unheard of, but it is generally considered to be very rude to do it to somepony you do not know or who does not give you permission."

"When we reached the top of the hill, I assessed the situation. There were many pegasi flying around his body trying to either hurt it or chase it off by kicking it. With this in mind, I generated the largest lightning bolt I could at short notice. I don't know if they were warned somehow, but a lot of the pegasi started flying away before I had even half finished with the bolt.

"I aimed the bolt at the dragon's head, but he ducked at the last second, and caused my bolt to miss him and hit a pegasus on the other side of town. I don't know what happened to it, but I am fairly sure it is either dead or the possibly luckiest being around.

"I started charging up my next bolt when Lyra warned me there were more pegasi coming in. While I held it, she identified them as Wonderbolts, which I assume is some kind of militia, so I discharged what I had built up safely into the ground and made my way into town to lend what assistance I could."

As Iroh paused for breath, Celestia asked a question. "What were you doing in the Everfree in the first place?"

"I was foraging for food. At that point, I had only had contact with three of the residents. One of them was terrified of me, one was a small child, the other I was not sure what to make of her. That was Vinyl Scratch, the white unicorn outside. In the course of the trip, I came across a zebrican while I was being chased by timber wolves. It was while I was resting at her home that I met Bon Bon and Lyra."

Celestia nodded her understanding and motioned for Iroh to continue.

"I spent the next couple of hours assisting the locals in rescuing their friends, mostly by using fire bending to cut through walls or beams that were trapping them. I also made many suggestions to the locals on how to shore up the houses that were still partially intact so they would have shelter for the night.

"When I had just finished opening the last building, there was an incident involving Lyra and a purple unicorn. I don't know all the details, so it is not my place to tell you about that. While they were all distracted by the incident, I met the town mayor. She invited me back to her home and started digging for information much like many of the lesser politicians I have met over the years.

"Not seconds after I stepped out of the mayor's home, a purple unicorn called my name - the same one Lyra had spent a *ahem* romantic moment with. When I turned to respond, she hit me with a spell of some kind. When I woke up, I was being released from some kind of restraining device by a doctor and nurse.

"From there, they took me back to the hospital where I woke up after this whole fiasco began and Doctor Stable finished patching me up. The good doctor sent me down to town not long ago with some of your local money to find myself some food. As to why I am in here?"

Iroh shrugged, "I'm still confused about how I came to be in here getting a massage and roasting vegetables myself. All I know is it involves crusaders of some kind."

Celestia grinned ruefully. She knew all too well which three fillies were likely the cause of such panic. She wondered absently what scheme they had cooked up this time, as they always at least made for entertaining reading in Twilight's reports.

"And what of how you came to my lands? What can you tell me about that?"

Iroh sighed. "Not much, I'm afraid. One moment I was talking to my nephew as we were travelling to the city of Ba Sing Se, the next I was being woken by the desperate screams of what sounded like a girl trying to find someone. When the nurse spotted me hiding, I scared her a bit to find out what I could, but when she told me she was an Earth Pony, I decided to get out of there as fast as I could."

Celestia sat back and mulled over what she had heard for a moment, allowing the room to fall silent.

"I have heard speculation from some of my ponies that you were a retired guard of some type. Now that I speak with you myself, I cannot help but agree with them. Were you once a guard?"

Celestia had barely finished asking the question before Iroh started laughing. He laugh hard enough that it caught the attention of the mares in the spa, Lotus included, as she had joined the other mares in the water. All five craned their necks to try and look through the glass door of the sauna and try to figure out why Iroh was laughing.

Iroh finally wound down and wiped a tear from his eye.

"I have had many titles over my years, but I am sorry to say that guard was not one of them."

Celestia's curiosity was obviously piqued, so Iroh decided to throw her a bone.

"Would you prefer my titles in order of importance or in order of acquisition?"

Now that captured Celestia's interest, and it was an opportunity to get a read on this human's priorities.

"In order of importance if you would not mind."

"Very well. Most important, at least to me, was my title of father. Lu Ten was my pride and joy and I grieved greatly when I had to bury him."

Celestia took great care to keep her face impassive as she nodded her understanding.

"Next, Grand Lotus. That would probably mean little to you, but suffice to say, it is a group dedicated to achieving peace and balance in our world."

Iroh grinned widely, "Your guess was close that I was a former guard, but I am in fact a former General, though I have been retired from that for almost five years now."

As Celestia lost control of her stoic facade to her surprise, Iroh moved in for what he considered to be the perfect ironic finisher.

"My final, and least important title, was that of Crown Prince Iroh of the Fire Nation. Though I have acceded the throne to my younger brother, I still hold the title of Prince though I hardly find use for it."

Celestia sat there and tried to process what she had been told. The title General spoke of a military power, like the Griffon Empire, yet she had been hearing almost non-stop since she arrived how nice this old man was. That he apparently valued Balance, what she could probably call a cousin to Harmony placed him firmly in the camp of those with good intentions.

She almost didn't bother about his professions of parenthood, former parenthood she mentally corrected herself, as any decent parent of any race as far as she was aware was foremost proud of their offspring.

But his profession of royal title! This threw a massive turnip into the cake factory that was her prepared thoughts on how to deal with this highly dangerous stallion who had been somehow involved in the death of one of her subjects and the humiliation of her personal student. However well deserved that humiliation might have been.

"You have given me much to think on. For now, what would you prefer to be addressed as?"

Iroh smiled in understanding, it would take anyone time to absorb all the information he had just given them. "Iroh, just Iroh will do nicely, your highness."

"In private, should we meet again, you may call me Celestia. I have no doubt we will meet again after today. After all, it seems you attract trouble just as easily as my student does."

Iroh brought his hand to his heart as gave a shallow bow to Celestia. "As you wish," he said expansively.

"For now, you may return to your relaxation, and your food. It seems I have spoken to many of the wrong ponies in order to get an idea of who you are. You are certainly interesting, I will say that."

Celestia stepped back into the main room of the spa, followed by Iroh.

"Lyra Heartstrings. I would speak with you in private."

Lyra's ears sank as her nervousness rose. With a slight splash of water, she rose from the spa and trotted past the princess and into the sauna room, water still dripping from her coat.

Celestia's eye followed the mare, one eyebrow arched imperiously. When her subject was safely ensconced in the sauna, she turned back to the group. "I will be with the rest of you shortly."

After Celestia had turned and closed the door behind her, Iroh looked over the four mares in the large tub and shrugged.

"Mind if I join you ladies?"

Lotus Blossom murmured something from her place in between Bon Bon and Octavia, causing Bon Bon to break out into uproarious laughter while Octavia shot up like she had been poleaxed, her eyes wide and her expression shocked.

Vinyl rolled her eyes at the trio of earth ponies who were rapidly becoming thick as thieves and shifted herself to one side to make room for Iroh's larger frame.

"Come on in!" she cheered.

"Oooh! Lyra's pulled out the big guns!" cooed Lotus as she looked towards the sauna.

Iroh looked over his shoulder, one foot already in the spa bath.

He could not hear what was happening, but it was fairly clear as he observed Lyra on the floor in front of Celestia, her forelegs wrapped around one of the monarch's hooves.

"Wow... that has got to be the most shameless grovelling I have ever seen," remarked Octavia, her eyes narrowing as she watched the scene.

"Does she practice that?" Vinyl wondered aloud. "She's gotta practice that!"

"She does..." Bon Bon's voice was muffled by the hoof covering her face. "Every single time she comes up with a new hairbrained scheme."

"Does it ever work?" asked Iroh absently, too fascinated with the actions of the green mare who seemed to be begging up a storm to finish stepping into the spa.

Bon Bon partially uncovered her embarrassed face to peer at her housemate. "More than I care to admit, less than I hope it does now."

"What do you think she's doing all that for?" Lotus Blossom could not look away from the spectacle. It was like watching a carriage wreck in progress.

"She wants to keep Iroh here as a pet, from what I've heard of her." Vinyl's grin deepened as she turned back to face the mares across from her.

"Whaddya say, Bonny? Reckon you can get a big enough kennel? I'm sure he's already housebroken too."

"A kennel?!" sputtered Bon Bon, completely taken by surprise.

"What? No kennel? Does that mean he gets to sleep on the end of your bed? Woo hoo, lucky lucky, Iroh!"

Both Lotus and Octavia were laughing now, their laughter even infecting Iroh as he finished stepping into the water and tightened his towel around his waist before he sank gratefully into the water.

Iroh noticed a problem immediately.

"Octavia, would you and Lotus move a little to the side, please? I'm afraid I need a little more room for my legs."

As the mares scooted to the side, Iroh stretched his legs and crossed them at the ankle so that his feet were now between Lotus and Bon Bon.

"Aww... she's stopped now," complained Bon Bon as she looked towards Lyra and Celestia.

The group watched the two converse somewhat more calmly for a few moments. The calmness in their conversation was obviously being caused by Celestia.

"Bets?" asked Vinyl as she turned back to the group.

"Two bits she's pumping for information on our dear Iroh here," Octavia asserted smoothly.

"I got that," smiled Bon Bon, "She's asking Lyra to put him up for a while."

"I'll bet the princess is asking about her relationship with Twilight Sparkle. That kiss was hot!" said Lotus a she fanned her face with one hoof.

"WHAAAT?" Bon Bon and Octavia cried out in unison before turning to face the spa pony and trap her between them.

"Details!"

"Now!"

Iroh leaned to the side and spoke quietly to Vinyl. "Aren't you going to be joining in on that?"

Vinyl grinned, "Not my scene, dude. I moved out here with Octy to get away from the gossip and drama back in Canterlot. Why? You wanna join in with the natter nags?"

Iroh shuddered, recognizing the term easily enough as another way of saying 'girl talk'. In a country built on an island chain and dependent on the sea for food, there were more than enough fishwives to go around.

"I think I will pass on that wonderful opportunity. Seeing as you yourself are not a, ah, 'natter nag', perhaps you can tell me more about yourself? I have done too much talking these last few days and not a Pai Sho board in sight."

The conversation had been flowing for nearly half an hour before the group was surprised by the sound of Celestia's voice coming from the doorway into the sauna.

In front of her, Lyra stood half facing the group, her ears low and tear tracks staining the sides of her face.

"I have come to a decision."

In near unison, five heads turned to face Celestia and Lyra. There were gasps from all of the mares when they caught sight of the despairing and slightly shaking form of Lyra.

Celestia locked her gaze on Iroh, her voice stern. "Rise, Iroh. I would look you in the eye when I say this."

Iroh stood in the water and adjusted his towel, which had loosened before he stepped out and picked up his inner robe, draping it around his wet body.

Celestia rose to her full height, her wings arching slightly from her back added to her imposing form as she frowned down at Iroh.

"I have heard testimony from yourself as well as many others. Since coming to my lands you have terrorized my ponies, caused panic and disorder either directly or indirectly and took actions that directly caused the death of one of my ponies."

The mares in the tub were paralyzed, they could not look away from the terrible sight of Celestia's displeasure. Five hearts constricted with pure fear and Celestia's horn lit up.

"I'm afraid you have left me with no choice."

Author's Note

I'll just leave this here..

The Bargain

A trio of scrolls flashed into being in front of Celestia, each paired with a quill and ink pot. Each began writing independently, laying a practiced flowing script onto each parchment.

"According to the testimony of several, you have saved lives and prevented many injuries in this town. In deference to your position, even though it means little in this land as of yet, I will give you these three choices. You will have three days to make your choice. Commit a crime, and I will know and these deals will be forfeit. I will find you, and when I do, you will be banished from my lands one way or another."

Celestia walked past the flabbergasted Iroh, who was certain he was about to need to defend himself, and towards the door back into the spa lobby.

"Make your mark on the scroll of your choice when you have chosen. I judge you a potential friend to my ponies. Don't make me regret this decision."

The four mares in the tub slumped in various states of relief. They looked up again as Lyra first started snickering, then laughing out loud.

"Bwahaha-ha! The look on your faces! That's what you get for trying to prank me!"

As Lyra threw her head back and howled her mirth to the ceiling. Vinyl looked back at the Earth ponies, of whom only Bon Bon seemed to realize what was going on. With a smirk, she gathered a ball of water about the size of a beach ball in her telekinetic grip and floated it to a place above Lyra.

"Your sense of humor is all wet!" she declared as she canceled her spell, allowing the ball of water to fall directly into Lyra's laughing face.

"Blub!" Lyra sputtered ineffectually as she choked and coughed.

Three of the mares in the tub tittered, either in relief that the tense situation was over or at poor Lyra's situation. The fourth, however was focused on Iroh as he stood there frowning at the three scrolls in his hands.

"Iroh?" Octavia called softly, before clearing her throat and trying again. "Iroh? What did the Princess mean by your position?"

Iroh didn't even seem to notice as he wandered into the next room and towards his pile of clothes.

"All right everypony, let's keep it together. We gotta get those shelters up before sundown, ya hear?" Applejack hollered over the hubbub of ponies working to clear up debris or to shore up homes that were made unsound by Spike's rampage.

*CRASH*

Everypony winced at the sound of a partially collapsed roof falling the rest of the way in, a gray pegasus sat in the middle of it, unscathed but for her dazed expression. "Ugh. I just don't know what went wrong..." she lamented quietly.

A filly standing on the end of a line of four unicorn foals rolled her eyes as she turned her head slightly from her task. "Mommeeeee...." she moaned in the general direction of the pegasus in the wreckage.

"Dinky! Pay attention!" Cried out the filly next to her. Dinky's eyes snapped back to the beam that she and her two filly compatriots were holding steady with their magic. The colt of their quartet was getting a workout of his talent by cutting the splintered beam into smaller, more manageable pieces.

"How much longer, Snips?" asked Sweetie Belle from the middle of the trio, " Tootsie and I are getting tired, and it looks like Dinky is already there."

"Almost there, Sweetie." Came the reply in Snips' high scratchy voice, his bushy eyebrows bunching together as he furrowed his brow and poured more power into his sawing spell. Moments later, the cut was complete, and Snips added his magic to that of his friends so that the beam could be lowered to the ground safely.

Snips nodded with satisfaction before calling out to his father that the cut was finished. He turned his plump body in a half circle before plopping down on the ground and looking over at the three unicorn fillies he had managed to recruit to help him out. Tootsie Flute had sunk gratefully to her haunches, sweat dripping from her face. Being the eldest of the trio of fillies, she had taken control of half of the broken beam herself. Sweetie Belle and Dinky Doo had taken the section that was a bit smaller, but was also completely unsupported by the wall it had once sat upon. She brushed her lavender mane away from her equally lavender eyes just in time to see Snails deposit a tankard of water in front of her.

Tootsie looked up to the lanky colt to give her thanks, which he just returned with a lazy nod, his eyes half-lidded in seeming boredom. Snails' magic sputtered to life again to withdraw another wooden tankard from his saddlebag and fill it with water from the barrel he had balanced on his back.

"Good stuff!" Snips exclaimed as he perked up at the thought of a cool drink.

"Ladies first, eh?" his friend drawled as he passed the next mug on to Dinky, much to her tired delight.

Snails was just about to turn and fill a third mug when a stallion bellowed over the din of ponies working.

"SNAILS!" the thickly mustachioed stallion roared, "What in the name of Celestia's Wonderful Withers are you doing, lad? There's too much kerfuffle around here for you to be eyeing the chesterfield!"

The lanky foal looked back and blinked, apparently unshaken by his agitated father. "I'm working the tap, just as you said. I wanna get this water off my back before it drowns me, you know."

"Well then hurry up about it. There're more ponies that'll be needing drinks by the south side of town."

His piece said, the stallion turned and stomped away from the foals.

"He's scary!" squeaked Dinky, poking the top of her head out from her hiding place behind some rubble.

"Meh. He's not so bad," said Sweetie Belle. "I mean, we saw worse last fall when Apple Bloom used his tennis racket to hit apples. Come to think of it, that was the same day that Scootaloo and I first met Apple Bloom."

"HA!" laughed Tootsie. "I remember that! The three of you practically stole Diamond Tiara's cute cenera out from under her hooves."

Sweetie Belle grinned in remembrance. "Yeah. You know she went and did it before the three of us really met for the first time. You can imagine our surprise when we were walking together after the party only for mister Ace to come storming down on the three of us like a herd of angry weathermares."

"Dad's been like that as long as I can remember," Snails said as he started pouring their last drink. "He's always pent up about being the perfect sports stallion but he keeps getting totally overshadowed in just about everything but tennis. Then when Apple Bloom went and almost wrecked his favorite racket..."

Snails shuddered, causing the barrel on his back to wobble a bit before he could re-balance it.

"He spent a week inventing a filly proof racket case after that, you know?"

"Really?" Sweetie and Dinky asked at the same time.

"Yup." Snails popped his 'p' as his eyes unfocused while he thought of the event. "It looked like the kind of mad contraption you see miss Bon Bon come up with every now and then. Only trouble was... he couldn't open it."

As the fillies burst into laughter, Snails handed over the last drink and collected up those tankards that were already empty. He quickly wiped each with a rag before returning it to one of his saddlebags.

"Wow, Snails, you look like a real bartender when you do that." Commented Tootsie as she eyed him cleaning her now empty tankard.

"That's the plan," he said, smiling back at her. " I want to get a job as a bartender when I'm older, maybe even open a bar of my own. Got to get the practice in now though, eh?"

"But - but what about your talent? Come to think of it, what is your talent?" Sweetie Belle looked slightly frazzled as she peered at the frowning snail adorning the colt's flank.

Snips burst out laughing, while Snails blushed furiously and tried to pull himself further under his barrel, increasing the image of his namesake in his embarrassment.

"Let me tell this one!" Snips piped up, his eyes sparkling in amusement.

"Snails and me are cousins, see? We actually got our cutie marks at the same time! It was about a year ago, and we were at Auntie Roma's tomato farm for the weekend when Auntie Roma discovered she had a really bad snail infestation. When she freaked out and ran to go get help, we decided we would help her out. I just went and started zapping the snails with my magic to get rid of them, while snails here decided he liked how they looked, so he grabbed an empty barrel and started collecting them. By the time Auntie Roma had come back, about a quarter of her field was in ruins, and I had a snazzy pair of scissors on my flank - what can I say? Cutting stuff down was just too much fun."

Snails raised his nose into the air a little and smiled. "My section of the field was perfectly unharmed and all the snails were in the barrel except for one big snail which was sitting on my head. I didn't even realize it at the time, but I got my cutie mark right when I tamed Shelly. Matter of fact, my cutie mark is Shelly."

Sweetie Belle tilted her head. "So your talent is taming snails?"

She blushed furiously when Snips started laughing, pounding one of his hooves on the ground in merriment.

"Nope," Snails said as he shook his head. "My talent is carrying and balancing heavy loads, just like a snail carries its shell on its back."

As the fillies nodded their heads in understanding, Snails retrieved the last of their now empty cups.

"Welp, I've got to get back to it. Lotsa thirsty ponies around."

Snails turned to leave and then paused. "Oh yeah, Snips? Mom says you're bunking with me tonight since your house isn't safe."

"Right-o. I kinda figured that would happen."

It was rapidly approaching sunset as a mare with a small filly on her back walked down the path towards their home. The filly who had been mostly drowsing after the excitement of the day perked up when she saw an unusual yet slightly familiar shape seated on the edge of the porch in front of old miss Matilda's home.

"Iroh!" she shouted with glee as she sprang from her mother's back and bounded towards the old man.

Iroh looked up from the scroll he had been pondering to see the filly from the day before rushing towards him. He wracked his brain for her name, knowing that she had introduced herself to him just a day before.

"Aura!" the mare following her called out in concern, marking her as the young one's mother and accidentally reminding him of her name.

Iroh smiled broadly as the filly skidded to a stop before him. "Good evening, miss Aura. You look like you have had quite the busy day."

"Uh huh!" Aura agreed; her lavender coat was covered with patches of soot and dirt, a large mark prominent above the tip of her nose.

"We got to see a real dragon! Not a cute baby dragon like belongs to the pretty white lady but a real huge dragon! But he was mean, and he was roaring and stomping and taking stuff and eek! SO SCARY!"

Iroh laughed as he nodded amiably to Aura's mother, who was trotting after her daughter, weariness etched on her face after such a stressful day.

"Indeed it was. In fact, it was quite possibly the scariest dragon I have ever seen, but that is a story for another time. I imagine your mother is eager to get home and clean."

Aura pounced on his phrasing with the alacrity and adorableness of an owl-kitten chasing a mouse toy. "Does that mean you'll tell me the story later? Oh please, oh please of pleeease!"

Iroh's smile softened, and the laughter left his eyes as he looked towards the horizon. "Yes, young Aura, I am likely to be here for quite some time."

As Aura cheered and bounded in a circle with renewed energy, her mother stepped forward to take her in hoof. "Thank you for being so patient with her. Come on now, grubby snout, it's bath time for you."

"Awwww," Aura whined. "Buh bye Mister Iroh. See you soon!"

Aura waved as she was led away to her nearby home, smiling brightly as Iroh waved absentmindedly back at her.

Iroh tore his eyes away from the rising moon to look mournfully back at the scrolls in his hand.

"Quite some time indeed..."

Author's Note

Wow, it's been a while. Work and family had me completely swamped for the longest time followed by a major bout of writers' block. I'm back now and trying to get back into the swing of things.

I had a lot of fun working on developing Snails outside of what was shown in the series as 'stereotypical boy' and 'vaguely Canadian'. I'm personally sticking him in the 'not very smart, but fairly wise' category - ie. much like Applejack he knows he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he makes up for that by being patient, observant and, hopefully, wise.

Corrections supplied by the greatly helpful and plot bunny inflicting Nyerguds.

Hello, goodbye.

On this day, the 38th day of Spring in the 1001st year of the Solar Calendar,
by Royal Decree of Her Royal Highness, Celestia, Princess of the Sun,

We hereby grant passage to the City of Canterlot to the Firebender Iroh by any means he deems reasonably appropriate. All costs for said transport are to be reimbursed by the Royal Treasury as is necessary upon proper receipt countersigned by hoof / paw / claw / hand / mouth / magical signature. Properly signed and notated receipts are to be sent to Balanced Ledger, care of Canterlot Palace.

We hereby grant a stipend and residence in housing to be further appropriated within the Faculty Terrace attached to Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns for a duration of five years or until means are found to send Firebender Iroh to his home plane, whichever is shorter.

While housed in Canterlot, Firebender Iroh will be expected to participate in trans-planar thaumatological and cultural studies as required. Optionally, Firebender Iroh may choose to participate in the tutoring of students in appropriate and approved areas of study. These areas of study have been tentatively identified as fire control, fire fighting, interspecies diplomacy, meditation and military tactics. Other subjects may be added as they are identified.

Resources are to be allocated to the appropriate departments of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and other research facilities in order to identify a controlled and safe method of return for Firebender Iroh to his home plane.

Signed on this day, 38 Spring, 1001SC
Princess Celestia

Accepted.

__________

Iroh let out a half grunt and half sigh as he rolled the scroll back up again. Of the three offers, this was the one that caused him the most conflicting emotions. On the one hand, it was clearly the offer that would offer him the fastest way home. On the other, he would potentially be in contact with researchers who could be similar to the unicorn who had assaulted him mere hours ago.

"Impressive..."

The single word, murmured almost directly into his ear, had Iroh launching from his perch on the edge of the porch, his heart hammering in his chest.

As he stumbled on the grass, flailing and falling onto his rump, Iroh felt like a first-year cadet caught reading peace poetry. On the porch itself, an older mare trying to decide whether she was laughing or trying to cough up a lung, her voice loud and braying.

At first, Iroh thought it was a unicorn that had snuck up on him, until he realized that it was not a horn he was seeing, but one of her exceptionally long ears. Looking closer while he tried to still his frantically beating heart, he noticed her muzzle was also significantly larger then even most of the stallions he had met in town.

"Oh! Oh my goodness!" She gasped as she grinned widely. "I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. I'm so sorry, but when I saw you making use of my comfy old porch, I just couldn't resist."

As the mare wound down from her laughter and got his heart back under control, the two studied each other. The mare's wide grin was belied by her tired demeanour, the bags under her eyes and her greying mane betraying her age. It was then that Iroh noticed another odd feature of this old creature. Taking note of it for later, Iroh bowed formally to the apparent owner of the house whose shed he had slept in not two nights ago.

"It seems I owe my apologies threefold to you then. I am Iroh, miss..."

"Matilda. Though I don't see how parking your rump here needs three apologies; just once will do."

Iroh grinned sheepishly at that and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ahh, I do believe it was your shed that I slept in a couple of nights ago while I was trying to evade the locals."

"Didn't break anything, did ya?" said Matilda as she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

"Oh no, no nothing like that." Iroh shook his head and hands in appeasement.

"Then the third apology better not be for refusing a chat with a curious old donkey. Git on in here and pull up a chair while I make us some coffee. This mad town's even madder than I remember it and I know you're a jack who's got a tale to tell."

Iroh could only blink helplessly as Matilda opened the door behind her with one of her rear hooves before stepping to the side and glaring imperiously at him, the all too familiar smirk of a woman who knows she's going to get her way on her lips.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight called as she spotted her mentor heading towards the chariot parked next to the library. One of the guard stallions stationed next to the chariot raised an eyebrow in her direction as the alicorn turned her head.

"Did you find him? Was he okay? Did he say what he was going to do?"

Celestia sighed internally and turned her full attention to her overwrought student. "It is nice to see you have taken our little talk to heart, my faithful student, but please calm down. Iroh has been given my offers but wishes time to ponder them. Rest assured he will be looked after for some time, even if he chooses to resettle as far away as Minos or Ottapaw."

Twilight stopped in her tracks as she dredged up her knowledge of geography.

"Ottapaw? Isn't that in Canida?" she said with a hint of disgust in her voice.

The student shuddered for a moment, "I'm not sure if I would want to go there. The diamond dogs in this area are dangerous enough, thank you very much. Besides, if I remember right, the diamond dogs in Canida are even worse for getting along with outsiders than the buffalo near Appleloosa are."

"That is true..." mused Celestia. "The Taurian States have the advantage that the minotaurs are closest to Iroh in body shape and size, even if they are generally taller than he is. Then again, they do tend to be very boisterous, where he seems to be quite the quiet type. Personally I hope he takes my offer to teach in Canterlot. It would make getting an idea of what his home world is like—not to mention, sending him back—that much easier. It would be a bonus if the firefighting squads got some much-needed training in a secure environment."

"What about here? What's wrong with Iroh staying here in Ponyville?"

"Staying here does have its merits, especially with the amount of trouble that seems to find its way here. From our discussion earlier, Iroh's talent lies in organisation, especially during stressful times. Something that would certainly overlap with a certain student of mine..."

Twilight had the grace to blush and look away as Celestia smiled down at her.

"But first I need to apologize to him for getting overzealous and foalnapping him today."

"Talk to him. Don't force it, but talk to him, Twilight. Iroh is far from your level of genius, but it is easy to tell that he has wisdom and experience in social situations that I know you would rather avoid. Ah. Ah." Celestia stopped her student as she opened her mouth.

"That is his story to tell. If you want to hear it, you will have to make another friend. Be mindful that he is from a very different culture and try to be accepting of the differences, as well as the similarities, with ourselves."

Celestia looked to the sky for a moment before sighing and turning back towards her chariot.

"I must go now; it is almost time for me to lower the sun for the day. Be well."

Twilight sighed, wishing she could spend more time with the Princess, but she understood that her royal duties always came first and foremost. "Goodbye, Princess."

As she turned to head for her library, her ear perked up at Celestia's call.

"Oh, and Twilight? One of the options I gave him was to stay in Ponyville and have you study his problem."

Twilight's cheer could be heard from behind Celestia as her guardsponies took to the skies with her chariot in tow.

Iroh lay back on the couch and considered his day, even as he tried to get comfortable with the rather short blanket loaned to him by Matilda. He was thankful that although pony beds (as well as the sheets and blankets that came with them) were rather short, their couches were much much longer, being sized properly for two or more ponies to recline on as was their habit.

To go to the pony capital and earn his living teaching and being studied by ponies or to stay here, with the ponies he had already made friends with. Perhaps he should take the opportunity to travel this world and see its sights. The talks he had had with Zecora and just now with Matilda made it abundantly clear that there were many sights and many beings to be seen in this world. Many of which he would never have dreamed of seeing back home.

The call of the road was powerful to him and he was sorely tempted by it; but then, he worried for Zuko. His brash, impulsive nephew had been alone now for at least four days and was mentally at a critical point. It would only take a few nudges one way or the other and he knew his nephew would begin to fall to the same kinds of madness that his sister was prone to.

Zuko could survive without him, Iroh was certain of that. The boy was simply too stubborn to die, it seemed, but he would not thrive; he would not be able to step out of his father's shadow without guidance and wisdom.

"Wisdom... that we need more of..." he grumbled aloud as he twisted himself into a more comfortable position and started to drift off to sleep.

"Wisdom... and tea...."

Iroh jerked awake as the thought hit him full force.

He scrambled off his makeshift bed and rushed into the kitchen, flicking his hand in the direction of one of the lamps in the room light it, only to wince when the shade caught on fire.

"Right... lightning based lights, not fire..."

Dousing the flames again before they could do more damage than they already had to the poor lampshade, Iroh knelt down and fumbled underneath until he found the bullrush-like bead at the end of the cord that could be pulled to turn the lamp on and off.

He held his hands up, ready to catch the lamp when it wobbled from his slightly too hard tug on the cord before the lamp stabilized. When the lamp had settled, Iroh turned back towards the table and the three scrolls sitting to one side of it.

Iroh opened one scroll and scanned it quickly before rolling it back up and opening the next. Smiling tersely as he found the correct scroll, he read it again carefully to see if it would accommodate what he had in mind.

With a grunt of satisfaction, he triple checked the passage, before he frowned in concentration. It had been years since he had practiced this skill and he had only one chance to do it right.

Partially re-rolling the scroll, he scanned the last few lines before he signed on the line provided for him at the bottom, a sad smile on his face.

Resources are to be allocated to build Firebender Iroh a suitable dwelling, within a reasonable budget, within the boundaries of the town of Ponyville for his use as he sees fit within the laws of Equestria.

Signed on this day, 38 Spring, 1001SC
Princess Celestia

Accepted.

Prince Iroh of the Fire Nation

The best school is a log.

Iroh sighed contentedly as he leaned back on a stool at a table outside the newly repaired Hay Bale Cafe. He watched several pegasi flitting across the sky, some lazily, simply enjoying the freedom of the open air, others with a great deal more speed and purpose. In the distance, a team of four lifted a beam towards the roof of a house.

The last week had been so busy, as all residents of the town, which now included Iroh, who were able to work pitched in and worked to repair the buildings that had been damaged. Once those buildings were repaired, new ones would be built to replace those which had been deemed unsalvageable.

The population of the town seemed to also have grown overnight as specialists from other towns and cities arrived by train, cart or sometimes by wing to offer a helping hoof.

Iroh himself, when he was lending his assistance, was most commonly working in the wood working camp that had been set up nearby the train station.

Four times a day for the last several days, train carts had come in, loaded high with logs and pulled by teams of six burly stallions that towered over most of the locals. As the train slowed to a halt, it was swarmed by ponies, mostly unicorns and pegasi, who began to unload the timber. With their cargo being taken care of, the exhausted stallions uncoupled themselves from the harnesses attached to the front of the train.

As the stallions made their way into town to refresh themselves, the logs were separated and placed onto trusses where a team of ponies lead by Scribed Scroll marked each log with measurements needed by the various construction projects in town.

In short order, the logs were cut into planks or beams, and were sanded, before being loaded onto carts and taken to the project that needed them.

Iroh, for his part, was designated part of the cutting team for the hardest woods, where his precision burning technique could cut through the dense materials faster than most unicorns could manage, and could also seal the ends of the beams - something which was quite important if the wood was exposed to the elements, he was told.

He had made several solid friends the last several days, as the awe some of the ponies had for him turned to respect and camaraderie.

Most surprising of those friendships came from a pair of colts, just barely foals, in the form of Snips and his best friend Snails. The chipper little Snips was often assigned to shave and sand the wood behind Iroh as he cut through it. Snips' longtime friend and fellow unicorn, Snails, on the other hand, delivered drinks to the woodworking camp and was wise beyond his years, a rare trait in the young no matter the species.

A third youngling had come to Iroh just the previous afternoon, and begged him for lessons on fire manipulation.

If it had been any other being, Iroh would have wanted some indication that they could fire bend, or even just generate fire, considering the sheer variety of talents these ponies had displayed.

Of course, the youngling who had come to him was not a pony in the first place, but rather the dragon companion of Twilight Sparkle, the unicorn he had learned had been the one to accost him the day the town had been assaulted by that enormous dragon.

This evening, he had promised. This evening he would see where the dragon was at, and most importantly, if he could be trained in the ways of true fire bending.

"Hello?!"

The call from next to him jolted Iroh from his woolgathering (although he had learned quickly not to call it that while within earshot of one of the local sheep).

Iroh turned to find a pink mare with a bright blonde mane and a wide band of bandages around her torso looking at him expectantly. "Oh? Oh I'm sorry miss, was there something you needed?"

"I..." the mare started, stuttering for a moment in her nervousness before rallying her nerve. "I wanted to thank you for what you did for me the other day."

She swallowed and grimaced slightly before she continued. "I also wanted to say I'm sorry... I'm sorry for being scared of you and thinking you were a monster when I first saw you."

Iroh dredged up the memory of the first pony he had saved from under rubble and her name.

"An honest mistake, my dear Lily, and you are very welcome. In the meantime, come, join me, pull up a seat and tell me a little about yourself. The peach tea here is quite refreshing and we have some time before the next load of logs arrives."

A pair of glowing eyes opened as their owned stood from his meditation and walked to the engawa door of the house his group had been lodged in for the last few days at the edge of the upper 'noble' district of Ba Sing Se. It seemed they simply could not get away from the vapid tour guide Joo Dee and her constant 'handling' of their group while outside their luxurious prison.

"There is something strange going on," said Aang as he narrowed his still glowing eyes, trying to get a better look at the disturbance he had sensed.

"Strange?" said Sokka nervously, he had had more than enough of his fair share of oddities over the last several weeks. "More weird than a giant Fire Nation machine trying to drill through a wall? More weird than someone hiding a sky bison in a city full of people without anyone knowing about it?"

"I don't know. It just feels weird and angry and like it is looking for something."

"So it sounds like some big spirit lost his place in a book. No problem, I lose my place in books all the time." came the voice of Toph from her place reclined on the floor with her hands behind her head.

"Hmm... I don't think even read - " Sokka trailed off as he realised he had just been had by Toph's sense of sarcastic humour... AGAIN.

"Really? Really, do you have to do that?" he lamented.

Katara brushed her grumbling brother to the side as she approached Aang from behind and looked over his shoulder in the same direction he was looking, even though she herself could sense nothing wrong, nor could she peer into the spirit world as he could.

"What do you think it is?" she asked as she come closer to, but did not quite touch the young avatar.

"I don't know, but it feels a little familiar... It feels like..."

Aang's blank eyes widened as he came to a realization. "It feels like how I did back at the library when we discovered Appa was missing!"

"Is it coming this way?" asked Katara worriedly.

Aang shook his head as he released the avatar state. "It doesn't seem to be coming this way. At least I don't think it is."

"Great!" Sokka exclaimed, as he realized that there was not going to be any dangerous shenanigans happening today. He thought. He hoped? Oh who was he kidding, all aboard the good ship Pain and Suffering!

He shook off the feeling of impending doom, squared his shoulders and took charge, at least as much as he could do. "In which case, not your camel yak, not your baggage. Now lets get back to making these posters."

A mare—Mayor Mare, to be precise—and two stallions were huddled around a map in town hall, deep in discussion.

"How about here?" the grey stallion asked.

"Seeing as Buck Star's shop was one of the ones that was demolished, maybe we could move his new place towards Stirrup Street a few paces, then we would have room between there and Deep Blue's aquarium."

"Really?"

The posh Trottingham accent came through strongly as Doctor Hooves gave Scribed Scroll a thoroughly raised eyebrow.

"You want to place what I'm told will become a premier example of a fine tea shop next to that moon-touched bean drinker's establishment?"

"Now, now, Doctor. Let's be nice here," Mayor Mare scolded her official time keeper as Scribed Scroll, who tended to be a night owl himself, bristled at the perceived insult.

"Do you have another suggestion, if we don't put it there?"

Both looked to the brown stallion as he rubbed his chin in thought.

"How about down by South Bridge? There ought to be enough room across the way from Masquerade's joke shop and nearby to the Carousel Boutique."

At this, Scribed Scroll gave a short bark of laughter. "If we put it there, it would sink straight into the soft ground next to the river. I think you need to look at the details more and that dratted pocket watch of yours less."

The mayor flashed an annoyed glance at her record keeper as her time keeper gasped in horror and huddled in the corner to soothe the imaginary ego of his beloved timepiece. She sighed before she turned back studied that area of the map more closely.

"Not a bad idea, Doctor, but instead of near the South Bridge, I think this area just to the north of the Carousel Boutique would be better. It is solid ground and has the added benefit of being on the opposite side of the marketplace to Buck Star's. What do you think, Scribe?"

Scribed Scroll shrugged. "It could work. There is certainly enough room there seeing as it would be in the shadow of Town Hall in the afternoons."

Mayor Mare looked over her shoulder at the Doctor and facehoofed as she realized he was at it again.

"There, there," he crooned as he held his pocket watch against his cheek and stroked it with his other forehoof. "He didn't mean it, my little Timey-Wimey. Don't you worry, you're still my favorite companion..."

"I swear," said Scribed Scroll in a murmur to his boss. "Between that stallion and his clocks and his marefriend and her muffins, it's a wonder they have foals at all."

Mayor Mare leaned in closer to him. "I know what you mean. I almost dread what would happen if they found a clock with muffins on it."

Scribed Scroll chuckled at the thought as he pulled open a set of building plans, already stamped with approval not only by himself and the mayor, but by Princess Celestia herself as well as Sealed Scroll, his father and one of the royal record keepers.

With a small flourish, he noted the chosen location onto the plans and rolled them back up, ready to be delivered to Crafty Crate, the forestallion who was in charge of the construction crews that were rebuilding the town.

Much to Twilight's protests, Iroh now stood alone with Spike on top of a hill on the outskirts of Ponyville. The studious mare had done her utmost to be included in Spike's training, even insisting that she be there for his safety. Argument after logical argument had been thrown at Iroh and when that hadn't worked, she had tried to forbid Spike from having lessons with Iroh unless she was there.

"You are curious; that is good. I understand your desire, no, your need to know absolutely everything, and to learn it as soon as possible, but what good is your curiosity against an unexpected blast of flames? Can you protect yourself from a blazing inferno at a moment's notice?" Iroh had lectured Twilight as if she was a raw recruit in a Fire Nation boot camp.

Twilight opened her mouth to spout another stream of facts before Iroh carried on right through her.

"I am aware that some unicorns are able to create shields of pure energy and no doubt you are one of them. Can you create your shield in an instant? Hold it for hours on end while concentrating on something else? I am not willing to take that chance. With young Spike's permission, I will be teaching him things that if my suspicions are correct are all but tied to his very nature. Notice I said his permission, not yours.

"It is the duty of the teacher to impart knowledge on those he chooses to teach. If and when I am certain Spike has developed the necessary control, I will allow you to sit in on lessons. For now, you would be intruding on private lessons, so go on, spend some time with your friends and leave us be."

With a huff of great annoyance, Twilight knew she was not going to win this argument and even if she did it would only create bad feelings from Spike.

Iroh sat on a log that had been set on the relatively flat plateau at the top of the hill, a popular spot for lovers to watch the sunset, not that he himself knew that.

He had spoken at length with the young dragon for more than an hour, just getting to know him. He gauged the responses of the idealistic little guy as he worked out the best way to teach him. For that matter, he still had no idea if he could teach Spike anything.

Still, it was time to at least give it a try. Taking up the slightly more than arm-length stick he had brought with him, he drew in the dirt to illustrate his points as he made them.

"If we have to start anywhere, I believe it would be best that we cover the source of firebending before we do anything else. Power from firebending comes from the breath, not the muscles. The breath becomes energy within the body. The energy then extends past your limbs and becomes fire. This is one of the most basic lessons of firebending."

"It's not about force or aggression," he continued, "it's about releasing the energy within. You tense up your body muscles then release the energy, not using the power of throwing a punch or kick but the extension of the energy. An example for this would be a bow and arrow; you don't throw the arrow, you pull it back, put tension on the string, then release and the energy sends the arrow flying through the air."

Spike nodded his understanding for a moment until a look of confusion came over his face. "Uh... what's a bow and arrow?"

Iroh realized his mistake and took up his stick and sketched the items in question. "This stick pulls the string tight," he explained. "An arrow, which is a straight stick that has been sharpened to a point at one end is placed with the back end against the string and pulled back. The further you pull the arrow back against the string, the harder it will snap back and launch the arrow.

Iroh looked to his is side and smiled at Spike as the young dragon stared at the simple images he had drawn.

"I bet you might have noticed something similar whenever you breathe fire voluntarily? The harder you concentrate on gathering the energy and the deeper the breath you take, the bigger your flame is."

Spike perked up at that. "Hey, yeah. I had noticed that, but I just assumed it was because I was putting more fire into the flame."

"It is small insights like this that make all the difference when learning these skills, especially for the first time. Once you have learned some measure of patience and self-control, which itself is an extension of your self-awareness, you will have greater control of your abilities and by extension, greater flexibility in what you can do with your inner flame."

Spike leaned back so he could look Iroh in the face more clearly and asked, "So what's your favorite thing to do with fire?"

Iroh grinned happily as he pulled his trusty teacup out of his sleeve. "Keep my tea at the perfect temperature."

Spike was confused. "What does that have to do with using fire?"

What followed was a lecture on the similarities between fire and heat energy and their subtle uses that had the young dragon's eyes crossing with information overload until Iroh noticed his plight and slowed down a little.

Author's Note

Much thanks to Nyerguds for his proofreading assistance.

Heating up

It had been a hectic day to say the least. The web of Dai Li lies had crumbled precipitously not long after Aang and his friends had discovered the secret complex under Lake Laogai. The group had thought Appa lost once again only to have him swoop in and rescue them with a masked Zuko leaping from the basket on his back to aid in their defense.

Zuko sat before the group of teens staring at him warily, the worst of them being the blank eyes of the small blind girl who nevertheless seemed to stare into his very soul.

"So let me get this straight." Sokka's skeptical voice rang out. "You mean to tell us that because your uncle disappeared, and you went to train with that crazy fire hermit, you stopped wanting to capture Aang and now want to help him? I don't buy it. What's the catch?"

"The 'catch', is I want the Avatar's help for finding my uncle." Here Zuko turned to look Aang full in the face. "Can I safely assume you know about that huge fire spirit that's been going crazy in the area for the last couple of weeks?"

Aang grimaced. He had felt that spirit; he had been feeling it, and its frustration now for almost a full two weeks now. He had tried to commune with it, to figure out what it was and why it was so agitated, but he just couldn’t do it with all the other things going on at the moment; he couldn’t maintain the focus he needed long enough to get into contact with the enraged spirit long enough to speak to it.

"It showed up a couple of days after Uncle Iroh disappeared. One minute he was walking behind me, the next he was gone with no trace."

Katara and Aang's eyes widened simultaneously as they made the connection. "Waaiiiit a minute," Katara interrupted him, "you don't happen to mean the old guy with the big beard that helped us out at the North Pole?"

Zuko's grimace was all they needed for confirmation. He looked aside as he continued, embarrassed by what he had to say.

"Look. I'm not exactly pleased with the way things turned out, I can still hardly believe I'm doing this, but what Master Jeong told me was backed up by too many things. The Fire Nation - my father - they've lost sight of what's important. Zhao showed it especially well; they don't care how much damage they do just so long as they win."

The group's eyes were riveted on him, Katara and Aang looking on with compassion, if not understanding. Sokka eyed him with suspicion while Toph smiled knowingly - at the tree three feet to his left - but knowingly all the same.

"Uncle had it right this whole time. I always thought he was crazy giving up power, but now I think he might have been right. What's the point of honor and glory if all you win are ashes? He needs to be stopped, but I can't do it, I- I'm not strong enough."

Zuko looked up, tears of shame and regret glistening unshed in the corners of his eyes, "Zhao's already made it known that I'm a traitor to the Fire Nation, I have nothing left but my Uncle. You help me find him, and I'll train you in firebending."

It was starting to heat up in Ponyville as summer had come into full swing. Iroh was once again at the log piles working on what he was told was one of the last loads of heavy beams that would be needed for the reconstruction of the town. He had ignored the noise of the Ponyville Express coming and going in the background as he worked, by now well used to the flamboyantly colored train and its comings and goings.

The noises of surprise and awe around him as well as some of discontent, however, made him take a second look. Lumbering from the station with a steady gait were two of the largest and most intimidating mortal beings he had ever seen. Each stood at double, perhaps even triple the height of the nearby ponies or at least those few locals who did not shy away from their massive forms. Thick coils of what looked like a smooth rope were slung over each of their shoulders.

"Minotaurs. Hope they're not like that one that showed up a couple of summers ago."

Iroh glanced aside at Baritone, the stallion who had been assisting him with moving the beams he was working with that morning.

"They're not dangerous, are they?" he asked.

"Sweet Celestia, no, nothing like that. They'll be the wire workers, they'll be sorting out the lights and other fiddly bits that most unicorns don't have the talent to deal with. I hear Rivet singing their praises every now and then. The one from a couple of years ago was what he called a motivational speaker, drove one of the local mares crazy, he did."

Iroh furrowed his brow in thought for a moment before he raised a finger. "That's something that had been bothering me. Why do I hardly ever see unicorns helping with the building? They only seem to move materials around, but not actually any building work."

At this, Baritone smirked slightly at that. "A unicorn with a practical talent is very rare. Mental skills like organisation, maybe artistic skills, sure. But getting a pin-head to get his hooves dirty with some hard work? Cheh, good luck with that, that Snails foal is the first I've seen who isn't that way in years."

Iroh hummed in agreement. The lanky unicorn foal was deceptively strong and wise well beyond his meager years, traits he had come to associate more with Earth ponies. Iroh turned away from the spectacle and back to his work. The sooner he finished up here, the sooner he could get back to his new home.

"Welcome home, Spike," Twilight greeted her ward from the couch as he stepped into the library. Spike smiled broadly as he carried on through the library and into the kitchen, waving and calling out a "Hi, Twilight!" as he passed her.

A month of lessons with Iroh every day had wrought changes in the young dragon that were plain for all who knew him to see; he stood slightly straighter, though he had not grown noticeably taller. His eyes, while they had always been clear and alert, now shone with self-confidence.

Spike smiled as he turned on the stove and set some water to boil. Though he had to work hard to manipulate flames that he had not breathed from his own mouth, he was getting better and better at sensing them. In fact, he rather enjoyed the tickling sensation the flames brought to the edge of his senses.

He had just begun chopping the vegetables for the evening meal when Twilight entered floating what they had come to deem 'his book'. As put out as Twilight had been at not being allowed to observe his lessons first hand, she had quickly come up with the idea of interrogating Spike thoroughly after each session and recording what he had been taught in a notebook – "for his future reference" as she had put it.

"Now," Twilight started as she made herself comfortable at the table and readied her quill in an odd reversal of Twilight's speaking as he took the notes that Spike had yet to entirely get used to, "what exercises did Iroh put you through today?"

"Well, we started with the flame dampening routine again. I was able to keep a leaf from burning for more than a full minute this time!"

Spike smiled happily at Twilight over his shoulder as he continued to cut the carrots directly into the soup pot.

"After that, we spent... about an hour I think on Fire Style Kung Fu. I'm still not very good at it; though, I think my legs are too short for some of the moves. The last thing we did was working on my flame meditation. That one I know I am getting better at, I can actually feel when there are flames around me, even when I can't actually see them or feel their heat."

"Do you think Iroh's remark from last week might be accurate then? The one about you having a knack for energy reading?" Twilight asked with interest as she finished making the latest set of notes.

"I don't know yet, but Iroh says that if my meditation improves enough, then he will try to teach me. He says he can't do it himself, but he knows the theory behind it."

At this, Twilight visibly perked up. "Did he by any chance explain the theory to you?"

Spike had hesitated a moment before he turned to Twilight "He did, and he told me to be VERY careful not to even attempt it until he could set up some safe conditions for it. He said it involves sensing the heat energy and later simply the energy in another being's body so that you can determine if and where something is wrong. He said it was about the closest a firebender can possibly get to a healing technique without access to another form of bending or magic."

"Really? Well, I guess that is kind of logical seeing how destructive fire normally is. Now I really wish we could meet more of his people, I would love to do a study on all four types of elemental manipulation as they do it."

At this, Spike merely rolled his eyes and turned back to his soup, this had been an oft-repeated refrain of Twilight's.

The sun had just set in that rapid manner that Iroh had still yet to get used to. A few times since he had gotten here he had seen the sun set slowly, the last rays of light playing artistically off the clouds to the west. A marvellous show that the ponies here seemed to appreciate all the more because it didn't happen every day.

Withdrawing a couple of small metal balls on fine chains from their chest on his back counter, he filled one with dried jasmine leaves and the other with chrysanthemum. He had just filled a couple of pots with water and placed a ball in each when the bells set above the entry door chimed pleasantly.

As she had for the last week and a half, every day since his little tea house had officially opened for business, a white unicorn with a long pink mane stepped in with a small package settled on her back -- precisely 7 minutes after the sun had set.

"Good evening, Miss Sunny." Iroh greeted her as he set his hands on either side of the pot with chrysanthemum in it and began heating the water inside.

Sunny smiled brilliantly at Iroh as she set her package on the bar counter then glanced around the room as she sat on one of the low stools. There were several small tables dotted around the room, most with three or four cushioned stools sitting next to them. A larger table sat in pride of place in the centre of the room, an octagonal grid was etched into it while 2 trays of lovingly carved and painted Pai Sho chips were slung slightly under the table on opposite sides.

This was the quiet time of day when most ponies were returning home from their day jobs, or foals were called in from their play time and sitting down to dinner. As such there were only a few of ponies in the room, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere or chatting amongst themselves.

"I would recommend you get those into the cool box as soon as possible," said Sunny Skies, indicating the box on the counter, "They were not easy to get my hooves on, and you don't want them to go to waste."

Curiously, Iroh lifted the lid on the box and his eyes widened at the sight of a dozen skewers, each loaded with a quartet of pastry wrapped balls. Two jars sat beside them, each filled to the brim with a thick red sauce.

"I thought you were merely curious when you asked to learn some recipes from my world, but to produce a box of what appears to be perfectly prepared dango? Well, now you really can call me a believer that you really do know how to brighten somepony's day."

Iroh stopped for a moment and groaned. "That verbal tick of yours is annoyingly infectious. Someone's day! Some. One."

Sunny giggled happily from across the counter as she poured her first cup of Iroh's heavenly tea. "Speaking of brightening days, I know somepony who has been waiting for this almost all day."

Iroh looked on as she took her first sip of tea and sighed contentedly as the stress of the day almost visibly melted from her face. He picked up the box and excused himself for a moment as he took it into the back room. Iroh returned with a single stick in one hand and a small dish of the red sauce in the other. Sunny looked on as he placed the whole skewer in a pot with a little water in the bottom, put a lid on it and set it in one of the fires he maintained at the back of the room for heating large pots of water.

"Do I even want to know how you came across what smells like real meat? I know you ponies can eat it, but you all seem to have an aversion to anything but eggs at the very least."

Sunny merely smiled mysteriously and said "You might say I know a mare or two..."

The bells rang from the front of the room again, making Iroh look up.

"Good evening, Lyra," he called out to her. "How are you tonight?"

"I'm good, how about you?" she replied almost automatically.

Iroh grinned broadly as he called back to her. "Your answer for today is 'very good'. See you tomorrow."

"Huh? Bu- wai- what the- but- AAAARRG!!!"

Lyra stammered then screamed in frustration as she charged straight back out the door.

Sunny stared at the door flatly for a moment before turning back to Iroh and pouting at him. "So mean..."

Iroh shrugged helplessly at her, even if his smile didn't waver in the slightest. "I can't help it if she falls for the simplest verbal trap in the world. The condition is one question a day; I can't help it if she keeps asking me the same one."

"Has she actually managed to ask you any questions she wanted to ask?"

"Just the once, and it was where other humans live. I couldn't give her an answer she was happy with."

Sunny turned her eyes back to Iroh, "What about you? I know you miss that nephew of yours, the way you talk about him makes that obvious enough. I know I would certainly miss my nephews and nieces if I were to be separated from them for any length of time, no matter how they behave."

Iroh was intrigued; this was the first time the mare had mentioned any family. He had assumed her to be relatively young though it was quite hard to tell with most ponies. "Tell me about your family. Why haven't you brought any of them with you? I'm sure they can't be all that bad."

Sunny laughed gaily and launched into a slightly edited story about how her nephew had met a lovely unicorn at a party only a few months prior, only to end up with a cake being dumped on his head.

Breathe in... The flames flicker upwards and inwards.

Breathe out... The flames sway back out again, barely losing any of their height.

Inwards... The energy of life is stoked, feel your inner flame gain strength.

Outwards... Be aware of your surroundings, feel the spirit soar in communion with the sun.

In... Maintain the control of the fire.

Out... Allow the flame its life.

"Very, very good. This is coming even more easily to you than I had hoped."

A befanged mouth pulled back into a smile, and brown eyes opened to fall upon the proud smile of Iroh. Barely a second later, they widened in shock before the candles burned themselves out in an instant, and the young dragon toppled backwards off of the cushion he had been sitting on.

"WOAH!" Spike shouted as he barely avoided landing on his head spines. "Wha- what was that?!"

Author's Note

I'm alive, and for that matter so is this story. I only did a basic proofread on this chapter before posting it, so please excuse what are probably way too many mistakes.

Now spelling and slightly grammar checked.

Home?

Green, vertically slit eyes opened and looked around with what seemed like detached curiosity. This lasted all of two seconds before they widened noticeably and their owner's head jolted backwards in surprise.

"Woah! That was weird." Aang muttered as he shook his head from within a circle of cooling wax that at one point had been candles.

"You saw something. Didn't you?"

Aang pinched the bridge of his nose before shaking his head vigorously to clear it. When he looked up at Zuko, it was with excitement in his once again brown eyes.

"I think I saw him! I think I saw your uncle!"

Zuko was all but on top of him in the blink of an eye. "You saw him? Where? W-Why? Was he in the spirit world?"

The questions came hard and fast, surprising Aang with his sudden desperation and attracting the notice of the three other teens who had been waiting or lounging nearby.

Aang rubbed at the tattooed markings on his forehead, the feeling that something was missing from atop his head was making his scalp itch in a way not too dissimilarly to the itching of the tattoos he had recieved for completing his mastery of the air element a hundred years ago yet less than one from his own perspective.

"I don't think he was in the spirit world. It was only a couple of seconds, but I think I saw houses in the distance and some weird birds I've never even heard of."

"Really?" Katara perked up with interest, "What did they look like?"

"Umm... four long legs, and tail, wings and head like an ostrich-horse, but without the beak."

"What about the houses? Where is he?"

Aang shook his head. "The village looked a little like Makapu village, but the houses were all different colors, plus there was a river and grassy hills like we saw around Gaoling," he said as he tried to remember as much of the vision as he could. "Ummm... It also had a few weird looking buildings, maybe if I draw them we might be able to find out more."

Zuko threw up his hands and stormed away. They had made an important step to finding his uncle, he knew, but he simply could not help but still feel frustrated.

Aang, Sokka and Katara looked at each other and then at Toph, who was sitting nearby digging a finger in her ear. Sokka sighed and volunteered to go hunt down some parchment while Katara moved in on the newly vacated camp fire to begin preparing their meal.

Aang groaned and flopped onto his back as he tried to imprint as much of the vision as he could into his memory, knowing that Zuko would never leave this alone as long as his uncle was missing. On the up side, he guessed, this meant that he had a VERY motivated coach for learning the arts of firebending.

Using a gust of wind to blow a couple of the sheets of parchment that had been left over from their poster making efforts from when they had still been looking for Appa towards himself, Aang pulled himself to a sitting position and looked around. When he did not see any convenient rocks or trees to lean against, he stood and with a frown of concentration and several sharp moves, he made himself a low table with his 'terrible', as Toph called them, earthbending skills.

He set the sheets on his new table and groaned as he realised he had forgotten the charcoal stick he would need. A few minutes of searching and a weary trek to Appa's saddlebags and back provided him with with the necessary tools.

On the parchment, one strange house at a time, a village started to form, one that was otherworldly for more reasons than Aang would ever have dreamed of.

The tapping of hooves on stone grew quiet as the stone floor of the cave gave way to well cultivated moss. The near absolute darkness that served as a deterrent to unknowing visitors gave way to the soft shine of filtered sunlight, guided downwards through spell-drilled holes and a carefully placed and maintained system of lenses and mirrors.

The sounds of trickling water and the buzzing of wings brought the first true smile to the weary traveller in weeks. Home. Exactly a hundred paces later, the tunnel finally gave way to the Great Cavern.

Filled with scintillating multihued light, the Cavern was hundreds of paces across, the air kept far more moist than the hot, dry Badlands by a pair of cleverly engineered waterfalls on opposite sides of the vast space. The light was focussed on a low gem encrusted ziggurat that sat in the centre, of the room, of the hive and as most would say, of their very existence. The light that reflected from the ziggurat in a kaleidoscopic array of colors that would have shocked any pony who had somehow managed to get this far, for it came in such great contrast to the near unvarying black carapace that was the changeling's natural form.

Several drones, all young soldiers, raced in her direction as she exited the tunnel, rapidly relieving her of the now emptied water skins and the dusty protective cloak that had been provided to her by the outpost at the edge of their territory.

The thrum of murmurs redoubled as the hive at large realised just who had finally arrived. Sure, several of them had known and had been following her journey home through the hive mind with the avidness that could only come from boredom, or in the case of a couple of the younger soldiers, attraction.

Heeding the summons her cargo merited, the harvester made for the entrance to the ziggurat and the elders that resided within. Inside, the brighter reflected colors of the the crystals outside were muted to a comfortably dim glow, the throne room was a spacious hall, with nine low pads arranged in a horseshoe pattern in the center room before the low platform which held what was known to changelings only as the Rainbow Throne.

Each of these pads held the eldest and theoretically the wisest of the changeling race, three for each of the castes; Harvester, Soldier, and the Cogitators, many of whom lined the edges of the room where the hive mind was strongest and so their abilities at their most useful.

Roulette did her best to walk with more grace as she felt the eyes of the eldest and most respected minds of the hive, their headfins the longest and leg holes the most numerous, and those of her queen upon her. She did her best to ignore the Cogitators, whose minds almost constantly whispered and argued in this room and to focus on Chrysalis without staring at her.

Once the most beautiful of all the changelings, the queen's carapace was now cracked in several places while healing poultices now covered portions of her barrel and flank. Across her back, a significant portion of one side of her thoraxic mound, the protective shell under which she would normally keep her wings, was torn completely off and the wing underneath catastrophically damaged. For this generation at least, the Queen would never fly again in her own form.

"Welcome home, daughter." Roulette's nose rose slightly with pride at the term endearment from her queen. "Our sympathy for the loss of your sister harvester, and our congratulations on a most excellent job done. Your contribution to the rebuilding of the hive is greatly, greatly appreciated."

"Given your success with what has now become a very dangerous town to operate in, we will be sending you back when you have properly rested. Be aware that your brothers and sisters have been either ordered home or to lay as low as possible. The cogitators will have more up to date information for you when the time comes."

Chrysalis smiled indulgently as she waved her hoof at Roulette negligently. "Go on, then. Enjoy your rest, you have earned it well."

Roulette bowed herself out, knowing the Queen's personal enjoyment of Canterlotish affectations, her head not rising until she had cleared Chrysalis' line of sight. Yes, it was slightly demeaning, especially in a hive such as this where every changeling was just as important as the next.

Freed of her burden of the last several weeks of travelling at last, Roulette took a deep breath of the lovely humid air of the hive and flitted away for a long deserved rest, and maybe a hooficure while she was at it. Hive knows she certainly earned it, and it was something she had become rather accustomed to on her latest assignment.

She was rather pleased, actually, it was not often that one was sent to the same town two times in a row, even if they had performed spectacularly. If she was lucky, maybe she would even be allowed to become a long-term harvester/infiltrator and not have to make the gruelling trip back and forth between the Badlands and Equestria herself, leaving the delivery of her harvest to one of her juniors.

Several projected thoughts later, her hooficure was booked along with a long missed carapace wax and polish and she spread her wings to fly towards the chain of burrows that provided those services.

Iroh leaned back in the surprisingly comfortable wooden chair that had finally been custom made and delivered by Davenport, that charming stallion who for some reason sold seats and quills. Not that the latter had been of much use to Iroh as his own writing style was firmly grounded in brushes and ink.

Speaking of which, said stallion was just now sitting at one of the tables in his tea house discussing the finer points of upholstery with quite possibly the single most troublesome female of any species that Iroh had ever come across. The always immaculately coiffed white mare had been an excellent customer if it wasn't for her insistence on bothering him about his clothes.

Iroh smiled slightly as the background murmur of happy conversations washed over him. He realized that for the first time in a long time, he was becoming truly content. Not the carefree persona he tended to wear around his nephew but that this place had a way of washing away his anxieties; he felt like he could be happy doing this one thing for the rest of his life.

For a moment, he thought that was odd. While he had always had many interests, and quite enjoyed partaking in all of them, here almost all of them seemed to melt away into what he would call guilty pleasures or distractions. Yes, he was happy to go coach Spike in his firebending skills, play a game or two of Pai Sho or the local game called Checkers with locals such as Mayor Mare, Time Turner, Octavia and Twilight Sparkle, or even indulge in a wonderful scented hot bath at the spa, but nothing seemed to call to him so much as the happily bubbling pots in which he brewed his teas.

Perhaps this was the meaning to those ponies' Cutie Marks he reflected. It wasn't so much a talent, he reflected, as it was a calling. An indication what that pony had found that they wanted to do with their lives. He wondered for a moment if the ponies needed to practice to become good with their talents or if their skill came naturally too.

Iroh's musings were interrupted by the jingling of the bell over his door, a sound that he was more and more coming to equate with happiness and good conversation.

Yes, maybe this was something he could quite happily do for the rest of his life.

Author's Note

Still not dead!

Also, yes, yes the changeling hive is more than slightly inspired by the Minbari from Babylon 5, even if Chrysallis behaves a little too much like Lord Refa.

And we finally have an answer as to what happened to Roulette, probably going to be a few people unhappy with that.

Green minty unicorn chasing down Iroh...

First 2 chapters edited for those who got the early versions.

Mr. Cake looked up from his mopping as he heard a rapid knocking on the front door of the bakery. Spitting out the mop and balancing it against a table, he called out "Coming!" as he made his way over to unlatch the door.

Standing on his porch, dancing excitably in place, was a green unicorn mare. "Good evening Lyra, I'm afraid we've already closed up for the day. Was there something urgent you needed?"

"Is he here, Mr. Cake? Is he here?" Lyra craned her neck to peer over and behind the baker.

Mr. Cake tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Is who here?"

"The human!" Lyra exclaimed. "He's somepony new in town, and I know Pinkie always throws a party for somepony new in town."

"Not today, she's not." The old baker grinned, "Pinkie left yesterday to go on some errand she was needed for up North. Truth be told, I've heard some of my customers talking about it all afternoon, but I haven't seen it for myself yet."

The mare's ears drooped at hearing this. "Oh, ok. Thanks anyway, I'll try someplace else then."

Lyra turned and walked away, her nose scrunched in thought as she tried to think of another place that the human could have gone.

She perked up and exclaimed "of course! Fluttershy takes care of all the animals and creatures in the area, maybe he went there!" With a spring in her step, she broke into a canter, angling towards the path out of town and towards the cottage on its far outskirts, summoning a small hovering ball of light with her horn to help light the way.

After several minutes of pounding at the door of the cottage on the edge of the Everfree Forest, the bottom half of the door opens to reveal an irritated white bunny.

"Oh hello, is Fluttershy in? I really, really need to see her right away." Lyra was once again shuffling excitedly from hoof to hoof like a young filly.

Angel glared at her, chattering and waving his furry little paw at her as he pointed first to the moon climbing higher into the sky and then to the note pinned to the top half of the door. Finishing his unintelligible rant, he turned and slammed the door in Lyra's face, knocking her back slightly.

Sitting back on her haunches and rubbing her slightly bruised nose with both hooves, Lyra raised her eyes to the note pinned to the top half of the door which she hadn't even noticed before.

Gone on an important trip. Back again soon.

Fluttershy

P.S. Scootaloo, please be nice to Elizabeak if you are here to visit her.

Lyra sat there for a few moments just processing the message. Pinkie Pie was gone, so was Fluttershy. It would be a fair bet that the entire group of their circle of friends would be gone as well. How to test that? The Apple family farm was too far away, and besides, they would all be asleep at this time of night. Twilight Sparkle was known to stay up late into the night studying one subject or another and Lyra doubted she could resist studying something as amazing as a human.

'To the library it is!' she thought to herself, climbing wearily to her feet, her antics finally starting to catch up with her.

Trotting back down the path from Fluttershy's home, she leaned to the side every once in a while to snag a flower from the edge of the fields so that she could keep her energy up.

Lyra was dragging her feet slightly as she walked through the darkened streets of Ponyville. Her eyes were drawn to an electric blue glow approaching from the opposite direction, marking another unicorn walking the streets in the late evening.

The glow changed directions to angle towards her, moments later revealing its owner to be Vinyl Scratch, a fellow musician she had had very little interaction with, mostly due to their differing genres of performance.

Vinyl halted in front of her, her ever present glasses perched on top of her head instead of over her red eyes and her headphones missing from around her neck. "Come with me." Her voice was quiet and commanding, so out of character for the usually exuberant unicorn that Lyra was momentarily taken aback and fell into step with the DJ out of instinct alone.

"Bonny came by tonight looking for you, ya know?" This got Lyra's attention. "She's been lookin' for ya for hours. She heard there was a human in town, and she was afraid you were gonna do something stupid. Octy got her to rest at my place while I took a look around town for you."

"So Bonbon knows about the human? That's great! I've been trying to find proof that they exist for years and"

"Are you even listening to yourself?!" Vinyl sounded genuinely angry. "Celestia knows I don't do the whole responsibility gig too well but come on! Your friend is partied out and worried about you, and all you care about is proving something we already got proof of?"

"You got proof of the human?!" Lyra's single-mindedness in the face of the browbeating proved to be greater than her guilt.

"Duh! Octy hauled the human to the hospital by herself, no thanks... to..." The DJ trailed off and face hoofed as she realized she had goofed up and Lyra was now a swiftly retreating cloud of dust in the darkness.

"At least I can tell Bonny and Octy where the hay she's goin' now." Shaking her head in annoyance at both herself and the obsessive lyrist, Vinyl turned the last corner to approach her home, and a conversation she was not going to enjoy.

The sounds of a shouting voice woke Iroh in the middle of the night. Coming instantly awake, he sat up in bed, a sphere of fire flaring to life in the palm of his hand.

Looking around and seeing no one in the immediate area, but hearing what sounded to him like the desperate screams of a woman, Iroh took stock of the situation.

He was naked but for bandages that seemed to cover his body from his shoulders to his belt line, spots of blood visible through some of the dressings. His neck and shoulder ached abominably, 'feels like I got hit with a boulder. We were probably ambushed... damn!'

The next thing he noticed was the lack of shackles or other bindings. 'Not captured though. Zuko must have fought them off, the boy is learning at least something by now. Good.'

Noting his bag and clothes laid out below and above a table respectively in a corner of the room, he got up with as quiet a groan as he could manage and shrugged into his wrappings and robes as quietly as he could.

The screams were suddenly getting louder as if the woman had broken through whatever or whoever had been restraining her and was headed in his direction, whoever he noted as several voices called out for her to stop.

'I hope this is not some widow coming for me...' he thought ominously. Opening the window he looked outside only to have second thoughts and instead glided over to beside the door into the room.

The door glowed amber and flung open less than fifteen seconds later, something walking into the room with footsteps that sounded for all the world to him like those of a small pig-deer. His curiosity piqued, he cautiously leaned to the side to peer around the edge of the door.

The creature looked very similar to a pig-deer but was entirely the wrong color, it also had only a single horn on top of its head rather than two. It was looking rapidly between his recently vacated bed and the open window, confusion apparent in its demeanor.

It started to approach the window only to be pounced on by a multicolored trio of similar creatures that raced into the room after it. The struggle was brief and entirely futile for the first creature as one of the three produced a tube with a spike on the end and jammed it into the first one's flank.

With a wailing cry of "No", the same voice he had heard earlier the first struggled weakly for a few moments more before slumping to the floor.

"You two take her to another room and let her sleep it off," the voice of another female ordered the other two, "I'll make sure she didn't hurt the human."

"Damn fool," she growled, her voice only barely audible as the others two dragged the unconscious one back through the very door which Iroh was hiding behind.

"Oh sweet Celestia's Bulbous Buttocks! The human's not here!" Came her startled exclamation as she realized the bed had been empty the entire time she had been in the room. "His saddlebag isn't here either. At least that means that he wasn't woken up by young Lyra."

With a tired sigh, she trotted over and closed the window using her teeth on the small knobs situated on the lower inside of the frames for just such a purpose.

As she did so, Iroh did his best to shuffle himself closer into the junction between the open door and the wall, trying not to make any noise.

"Huh?" Iroh winced, hoping he hadn't been spotted.

"How did his bag get over there? I put it by the table." Iroh cursed internally at his carelessness, hoping he didn't have to fight his way out of here, seeing what that spike had done to the other creature.

The pink muzzle of Nurse Sweetheart appeared around the edge of the door, followed shortly by the rest of her head. Her eyes widened as she realized that standing next to the bag was a sandal clad foot, along with requisite attached leg. Her pupils constricted as she started to back up and raise her head at the same time.

Iroh, knowing the game was up, and that he had been discovered used his left arm to close the door, revealing his full form and his grim countenance to the suddenly intensely nervous mare.

Leaning forward slightly to loom over her, Iroh's years as a general came to the fore with a vengeance. "I have four questions for you. Answer them and you will not be harmed." He spoke quietly and clearly. "Who are you, what are you, where am I and how did I get here?"

"M-m-my name is Sweetheart," the intimidated pink nurse stammered, "I'm a nurse here at Ponyville hospital. Y-you were brought in here this afternoon with injuries."

"And my nephew? The young man that was with me, where is he?"

"I-I-I don't know," the nurse cried, "I only heard of one human coming here, and that was you!"

Iroh ruminated on this for a moment, hoping that his nephew had survived whatever ambush they must have been caught in, "That reminds me, you did not answer, what are you?"

The nurse cowered with her head under her hooves as she blurted out her answer. "An earth pony! I'm an earth pony!"

She trembled as she heard the human curse before stepping around her and stalking to the window. With one leg over the sash, Iroh turned back to her for a moment, "I thank you for treating me as you have, however, I cannot stay to enjoy your hospitality any longer."

Dropping down to the ground just below the window of his ground floor room, Iroh settled the pack on his back, glanced of his shoulder at the still cowering nurse in the room and jogged away, turning down a random path in towards the town in order to find somewhere to hide out and rest up until morning.

Vinyl quietly closes the door behind her as she steps into her home, her head hung low. In the lounge room, Bonbon looks up from her spot on the couch next to a sleeping Octavia. "Did you find her?" The candy maker asks quietly on spotting Vinyl.

"Yeah, I found her alright," the unicorn sulks as she heads towards the fridge for some juice, "she was running all over looking for the human Octy found, just like you thought she might be."

Chugging her orange juice with relish she turned her head slightly towards Bonbon who was now entering the kitchen to join her. Filling another two glasses, she levitates one down onto the table near Bonbon as she takes up her second. "That was the weirdest feeling I have ever had, chewing out Lyra, it was almost like I was a mom telling off my filly."

Vinyl shuddered theatrically at the thought. "Never having foals!" She moaned to Bonbon, "Responsibility sucks!"

Bonbon giggled appreciatively as she sipped her juice, somewhat cheered by Vinyl's theatrics, 'I could seriously be friends with this mare,' she thought to herself, 'even if she is as loud as Octavia tells me she is.'

"So did you get her to go home?" Bonbon asked hopefully.

"Nah," Vinyl was frowning once again, "I put my hoof in my mouth and mentioned that Octy took the human to the hospital. Crazy filly hoofed it so hard I'm amazed she didn't plow a furrow in the street behind her."

"You didn't," Bonbon gasped.

"Eeeyup, I did. I'd lay bits on it that right now she's either drooling over the human like the creepiest fanfilly you have ever seen or getting her rump handed to her by one of those hunky orderlies up there." Bonbon laughed out loud at the descriptions and settled down in her seat for the conversation. Something told her tonight might not be such a bad night after all.

Author's Note

Human obsessed Lyra taken (temporarily) to eleven and getting called out on it, Iroh showing some of his old steel, and Vinyl Scratch showing some reluctant responsibility.

Writing Vinyl Scratch this way mirrors an encounter I have had with a DJ acquaintance of my own; usually he was the life of the party, but when he saw something not right, he stepped up and assisted our mutual friend in getting away from a very bad crowd.

A quick note before I get someone poking at me for Iroh's animal references.
The Avatar: The Last Airbender world is populated by animals which are almost universally hybrids of two real world animals, there are also only two animals that I could find that even vaguely resemble a pony, and neither of them are used in a way analogous to horses/ponies in the real world.

Again, thanks to Stitchentyme for the proofreading.

Also, a little nod in there to The Chicken Goddess, an awesome little Scootaloo fic.

Confessions from the Dance Floor

Vinyl was panting heavily as she opened the door to her home, the all-out race to get home and wake up Bonbon having tired her out more than she expected.

She stumbled towards the stairs only to grind to a halt when she heard voices coming from the kitchen down the hall.

Sticking her head in the door, Vinyl found Bonbon sitting at the table drinking coffee with Octavia, her mane still mussed from sleep.

“So there you are.” came Octavia’s remark as she looked up and saw Vinyl entering the kitchen.

Vinyl winced as she crossed to the sink and filled a glass with cool water “Sorry I’m late, I took longer than I thought while I was out.”

Octavia clucked her tongue, “When I woke up and noticed Bonbon in your bed, I guessed something like that had happened. Did you put the note on her stall in the market?”

“Yup, did it first thing this morning.”

Bonbon spoke up for the first time, “Did you manage to find out what happened to Lyra or the human by any chance?”

“No sign of Lyra this morning, who knows what she is up to. The human escaped the hospital last night though...” Vinyl scratched her neck, and Octavia pounced, recognising the nervous tick for what it was.

“You know more than that!” she accused, “Did the human hurt somepony? Does anypony know where he went?”

Sighing after she had gulped down her water, Vinyl elaborated as she moved to take a seat at the table, “I have a fair idea of where he probably is.”

It was clear Octavia was getting impatient with her playing coy, as she half stood from her seat to lean in towards Vinyl. “And?”

Vinyl sat back and stated as nonchalantly as she could, “I already met the human, he’s cool.”

“YOU WHAT?!” Bonbon shouted, leaping out of her seat in surprise.

“Yeah, that’s what held me up from coming to you wake up. I found the human and jammed with him for a bit.”

Octavia sat down again, “Please tell me you weren’t involved in letting him loose from the hospital?”

“Nah, he was long gone from there. He was in the shed out the back of Matilda’s place.”

“Matilda?” the question came from both Bonbon and Octavia at the same time, although the reasons were different.

Vinyl looked to Octavia, “You remember that nice donkey mare we met on the train coming down from Canterlot last Fall?”

A look of recognition dawned on Octavia’s face, “Yes, of course. She was lovely, but I thought you got bored of our conversation. How do you even know where she lives?”

“I helped her repair the turntable on her gramophone not long after we moved in.” Vinyl’s smile was a tad smug, it was not often she could surprise Octavia.

“Oh yes, I remember now, but what about the human? What is he like?”

“Hmm… how to describe him…” Vinyl sat back on her haunches while she thought, “You ever see a minotaur?” She asked Bonbon. “Think like that but no horns and different legs.”

“Ugh. There was a minotaur in town at the start of last summer giving motivational speeches.” Bonbon was scowling at the memory.

“I take it he was no good?” Octavia asked gently.

“Oh no, Iron Will was too good. When it was Cherry Berry’s and my turn to haul the market trash out to the composting yards, he had made one of the local pegasi go completely crazy! She bucked our carts so hard that they dumped all the trash right on our heads!”

Octavia winced at this. “Wow… that’s not good. Who was it? Any pony we might know?”

“It was Fluttershy, she tends to the animals in the area.”

“Yellow pegasus with a long pink mane?” Octavia inquired, almost fearfully.

“You’ve met her?”

A light blush started to rise on Octavia’s cheeks “She saved my quartet from that crazy Pinkie Pie filly at the Grand Galloping Gala last month.”

Bonbon seemed impressed, “Wow, how’d she manage to do that?”

“She went insane and set the entirety of Princess Celestia’s menagerie on the guests in the ballroom.”

Octavia and Bonbon both looked in surprise at Vinyl as she snorted, then giggled. Hurriedly jamming a hoof over the front of her mouth, Vinyl stumbled from the kitchen and shouldered her way out the back door.

“BAH! HAHAHAHAHA!”

Octavia sighed at her housemate’s antics, “You see what I have to deal with? At least she didn’t hear about Pinkie Pie forcing us to play the Pony Pokey at the Gala…”

“Meep!” Octavia looked sharply back at Bonbon, who had both hooves stuffed in front of her mouth and tears streaming down her face, which held a rictus of restrained hysterics.

The cellist held her head in one fetlock and made a shooing motion at Bonbon with her other fore hoof. “Go on, let it out…”

Seconds later, the confectioner was out the door, howling her mirth to the sky right alongside Vinyl Scratch.

It took a little while for them to calm down, since they kept on bursting into laughter again as soon as they caught sight of one another, but the two eventually returned to the kitchen, and the sympathetically amused cellist waiting for them with her coffee in hoof.

“Now that you are quite finished,” Octavia crooned with an arched eyebrow, “Human. Details. Now.”

“Wow. Eager much, Octy?”

“I hauled that thing halfway across town on my back, and not a single pony lifted a hoof to help. I think if anypony deserves to know what he is like, it is me.” Octavia flicked her short mane back as she tossed her head imperiously.

“Alright, alright.” The DJ groused. “The short version for now, since I’m tired. I went to the market and put up Bonbon’s note,” Bonbon’s eyes widened at this, before she dashed out the door, much to the others’ bemusement, “and I spotted some of his tracks near her cart. His hooves are huge, by the way, made it seriously easy to follow where he went.”

“I followed him back here. He sat just over there for a bit,” Vinyl gestured with a hoof out the window, “then his tracks wandered a bit until I found him asleep in that little shed out the back of Matilda’s place. I was gonna levitate him out and bring him over to the library so the crazy nerd over there could take a look at him, but he woke up before I could even get him out the door.”

“Oh dear,” Octavia worried, “he wasn’t angry, was he?”

“Nah. Spoke mostly in riddles though, worse than a zebra at some bits. I kinda forgot he was hurt and dropped him, but he didn’t seem to mind much. Just sat up and started making tea.”

“Making tea?” Octavia was slightly skeptical.

“Yeah, darndest thing, he’s even got some kind of magic teapot. Put in cold water and tea leaves and pour out hot tea, just like that. No fire, no stove, nothing. Then he got a little weird, started talking about bending things and painting pictures with different brushes, crazy weird. Tea was good though.” Vinyl paused for breath a moment, trying to remember the confusing conversation.

“Then I remembered about waking up Bonbon and ran back home. Oh, I told Iroh, that’s the human’s name, to go rest in Matilda’s place since she’s still not back from Shanghay.”

Octavia looked dubiously at Vinyl, “Are you sure that was wise? It is somepony else’s home after all…”

“It should be fine, he was kind of uptight, so I don’t think he will mess with her stuff. Besides, I wanna be there when Lyra finally meets him. Something tells me it will be awesome!” Vinyl gave a false evil cackle as she rubbed her hooves together.

Three fillies, a rather large stallion and an old mare were working in a barn.

“This is a joke!” Scootaloo complained from where she was helping Apple Bloom stack bags of seed left over from the year’s planting.

Sweetie Belle looked up from where she was helping Granny Smith repair baskets that had been damaged by water over the previous winter, “I kind of like it,” her high voice piped in, “basket weaving is fun! I wouldn’t mind getting a cutie mark with this.”

Granny Smith chuckled, reaching over to prod a couple of strands on Sweetie’s basket that were crooked into place with a practiced hoof.

“Better than doin’ nothin’ and bein’ bored, right Big Mac?” Apple Bloom grinned, coming to know how impatient Scootaloo had been these last few days.

Big Mac looked up a moment at the mention at his name before turning back to the plow blade he was sharpening in the corner. “Eeyup.”

“But it’s an awesome day outside, we could be exploring or something!”

“Just be patient,” Granny Smith lectured, “first we get the jobs for the day done, then we have some fun. ‘Sides looks like we’ll be done soon anyway.”

Scootaloo groaned, but carried on her work, buzzing her wings to provide the extra lift needed to get the bags neatly on top of the pile.

“What about going to have a look at the blackberry bush in the park once we’re done here?” Sweetie Belle spoke up after a few seconds.

Scootaloo looked at Sweetie dubiously from atop the sacks of seeds.“What’s so great about that? We see it all the time.”

Granny Smith looked on with interest as Sweetie stammered out a reply, “I - I was wondering what got that unicorn so excited last night…”

“Now, which unicorn was that?” Granny asked.

“I don’t know her name, but I see her with the candy mare all the time. She’s green with a white stripe in her mane. She was kinda scary, like Twilight was before she put a spell on that doll…”

“Miss Lyra?” Big Mac’s voice surprised the other four.

“You know her, Big Mac?”

“Eeyup!”

Apple Bloom hung her head in exasperation at her monosyllabic brother for a moment. She hated when he played twenty questions.

“Do you know where she lives?”

“Nnope!”

Sweetie Belle, being slightly quicker on the uptake than her friends asked a question that needed more than a yes or no. “How do you know her?”

“Eight golden delicious and four honey crisps every Tuesday.” Big Mac’s sly smile caused the three fillies to groan while Granny Smith chuckled at her grandson’s little joke on the fillies.

The stallion gave the plow he was working on one final critical look and decided it was sharp enough.

“Ah’m takin’ this back to Carrot Top.”

The fillies looked pleadingly at Granny Smith who chuckled at the question in their eyes.

“All righ’. You youngin’s get the last bag on the pile, and you can go play.”

The three fillies cheered as Sweetie Belle jumped up from her almost ‘fixed’ basket, and ran to help her friends get the final bag on top of the stack. With victorious cries, they dashed for the door to the barn.

“Y’all be back by sundown now!” Granny hollered after them, receiving a trio of affirmative shouts as they headed for town. The elderly mare smiled before giving a tired sigh and turning back to her basket.

A green unicorn swam back to consciousness with a groan, her head aching abominably. Moving carefully, she sat on the edge of the bed, her rear legs hanging over the side as she massaged her temples with the knuckles of her fetlocks.

“So you’re awake.” The voice was distinctly icy and certainly NOT Bonbon’s.

Forcing her eyes open, Lyra caught sight of a nurse, her white coat and pink mane identifying her as Nurse Redheart, and she looked very annoyed with the unicorn looking back at her.

“Why am I here?” Lyra wondered aloud.

“That’s what I want to know. Nurse Sweetheart told me you came charging into the hospital in last night and caused a huge ruckus. She had to have you sedated before you hurt somepony.”

Lyra’s brow furrowed in thought for a moment before the events of the previous day struck her, “The human! Somepony told me the human was here, and I had to see him before he got away! I have to get proof!”

“Oh we got proof alright, but the human isn’t here anymore.”

“What? How? Where did he go?”

Redheart’s frown deepened. “The how is easy, the noise you made woke everypony in the hospital, including the human. Where? I have no idea, but he is injured and he should still be here!”

The nurse stalked forward, turning Lyra’s expression nervous as Redheart growled. “I don’t care if he’s a human, a pony or a stinking diamond dog, but the fact is it’s your fault one of MY patients has run off. I will make you a deal, you find my patient and bring him back, and maybe, just maybe, I won’t report you to the Town Watch as a public menace. Understood?!”

Lyra, now bundled against the bed’s headboard in terror of the menacing nurse, could only nod her head rapidly.

“Well? What are you waiting for? A gilded invitation? GET! OUT!” The nurse all but roared the last two words, causing Lyra to stumble past her, race past the pair of orderlies outside the ward and gallop out of the hospital as if her tail was on fire.

Nurse Redheart stepped out of the ward a few moments later and calmly adjusted her cap.

“That sounded fun,” the stallion to her right grinned.

Redheart flashed him a bright smile and a nod before turning to carry on with her rounds.

Meanwhile, Lyra had reached the bottom of the hill that the hospital sat on in full gallop, finally slowing to a trot and then to a stop as she got out of sight.

Sitting down, she tried to get her heart rate and her throbbing head under control. “Note to self, don’t mess with the nurses.” Lyra groaned.

‘Right,’ Lyra thought, ‘find the human, bring him back, study hands, and get something for my head. Oww.’ She paused to revise her previous thoughts, ‘Head first, then human.’

Standing shakily to her legs now that the adrenaline had worn off, Lyra stumbled back towards her home, where she could find an ice pack for her head and food for her stomach. She realised she had not eaten in almost a full day!

Lyra was so preoccupied with her predicament, that she barely registered that the streets were quieter than usual and that the marketplace, normally bustling with activity at this time of day, had barely anypony there.

Minutes later, Lyra was in her kitchen, a tall glass of milk in front of her as she crunched her way through a couple of apples. She gulped down her milk, tossed the cores in the bin, and headed off to bed to sleep off her headache. She would wake up when Bonny was home and get her to help with looking for the human.

That decided, she placed her head under a pillow and tried to sleep.

Author's Note

3 Chapters in 4 days, yow!