My Life in Ponyville

Location: Salt-lick and Cider Bar

Point of View: 1st person, Iron Hooves

*After the meeting with Ink Jet*

I had decided to look around after my meeting with the strange unicorn who had ran me over. My attention was drawn over to a salt and cider bar, mostly because of my habit of drinking things from different countries. It was a bad habit, or was going to eventually become one at least.

With a quick shift in my stance, i had turned my body towards the bar and was heading towards it. The promise of alcohol filled the air around the bar, and started to teasingly slither into my nostrils. It was almost like a siren calling me and my crew to slam into her rocky shore before she jumped in and killed every last one of us...almost.

My hooves carried me to the door, and I managed to notice two things; one, the bar was holding a drinking contest later on tonight, and two, the same thing until then form what I can here from all the shouting and bottle smashing.

My mind was begging me to not go, because i was known as an angry drunk when I was a few layers deep in booze, but my need to fulfill my wants was far greater than my mind. How else was I able to take my father's place after his... un-timely end.

Anyways, I would push open the door that stood in-between me and fresh cider, but as I walked in, somepony, I am hoping she was drunk, socked me in the leg. When I turned, i saw pink pony with a light purple mane, and dark pink eyes. I did not bother with her talent, because I could smell it coming form her piss stained fur.

"Oi, you. I *hic* I chal *hic* challenge you to a *hic* drink off." She seemed a bit bonkers, but then again free drinks so I gave a slight smirk, determined at this new challenge.

"Challenge accepted and vat vill happen to ze looser."

"They have to pay for all the drinks!" One random by-stander said. Another said, "Lick the floor clean!"

I thought that this was going to be good as one pony came and set up a table for us, quickly bringing all the drinks the one body could to the table for me, and the other experienced drinker to have for their battle of drinking.

Location: Salt-lick and Cider Bar

Point of View: 3rd person view, hours after the table was set up

It had been a long time since the war of booze drinking had started, and General Iron Hooves was holding his own against the veteran of drinking Berry Punch.

Now, after ten hours of drinking, and the sun is slowly setting in the afternoon sky, they were done with both three hundred bottles each, and both as angry as anypony can get. Everypony that was watching was cheering for both side, and also fearing that they had some unicorn blood int he family, and might go into the dreaded rage-shift mode that unicorns get in when their anger is at the max.

Luckily, one of them fell to the ground by now, and it wasn't the one that everypony was thinking it would be. Instead of the General, who they didn't know the name of, it was their veteran, Berry Punch.

The General Iron Hooves rose form his back hooves and pumped up one of his hooves. "Victory is *hic* is mine. Oh you ve *hic* vere a good oppo *hic* onent but ze spoils *hic* vill be mine to take."

"You *hic* cheated!" Berry Punch says as she laid there on the ground before the General.

"Vell *hic* zere is a say *hic* saying back in *hic* my homeland. Вы не могли разбить меня в миллион лет я чертовски жеребенка!" (Translation: You couldn't beat me in a million years ya damn foal) Was the Iron Hooves' only response to the outrageous comment that Berry Punch made.

All of the bar ponies were dumbstruck by the sudden change in dialect that this new drinker had. They were about to ask when the front door flew open, showing a white, unicorn stallion wearing a red sweater. They would do a sort of double take, since the only white unicorn in town they knew of was the fashion mare that was well known even outside of ponyville.

Location: Cider and Salt Bar

Point of view: 1st, Ink Jet

I was right now, in front of the door that lead to some drinks, and to Iron Hooves, who was by now probably making a fool of himself right in front of so many ponies. My choice to go in almost changed with the thought, but I also had to get him out. I could always get the drink a different time than this one.

Taking a slow, steady breathe, I steeled myself before opening the door wide open.

Well one thing happened, all the ponies, except for two who were at each other's throats, about to charge at each other.

I could tell it was a drunk and a drunk Iron Hooves. (This cannot end well!) Is all that went through my head before a page from one of my books suddenly appears in my mind. It was about a situation like this, and I let my body go into auto-pilot.

I saw what happened, I got in-between them, and for the easiest explanation, i knocked both their heads together and they fainted in a comedic manor.

Both fell with a loud thud, and I sigh a bit. It was odd I was able to do that, but at the moment I did not care, and needed to get the General out of there before he wakes up and makes a foal of himself in front of everypony.

As quickly and steadily I could, I picked up the now unconscious General and slung him over my back, and began to walk out of the Bar. It would be a long trip, but I had to get him somewhere safe, but the only place I could think of would be my home.

That, and the fact my new room-mate looked like he would have a few cases of cider that I could have.