Procrastination

Procrastination

Chapter 6—One Year Later

Before Caramel could leave the hospital, he found himself in a network of red tape and regulations. He was the poor insect trapped in the web of a voracious spider, who tugged at the strands just to see him thrash about.
Various doctors and nurses came to check on his vitals throughout the day, and he was given what seemed like an ultimatum: he had to return to the hospital every other week for the next month to make sure his wounds were sterile and his body was functioning properly. He was also given talks from three psychologists and a psychiatrist. The administration assigned him a specific psychologist that he was to meet with every two weeks for the next six months, and then every month for the next two years. He was to undergo equinistic therapy immediately if he felt a possible “spontaneous recovery of self-destructive behavior.” I just want to go home and be with Mac…Our anniversary is in like…four days! I can’t wait anymore! I lost him, and I just got him back. WHY WON’T YOU LET ME BE WITH HIM?

Finally, he was discharged on a Wednesday morning. Before he could take three steps from the bed, however, Macintosh stopped him with a hoof to the chest.

“Eh?” he asked, looking down at the hoof, still pressing onto his fur.

“Eenope. Ah said Ah was gonna take care of y’all, and Ah will.” He lowered himself onto the tiled floor. “Climb on.”

“…I can walk, Mac…” he said, but couldn’t help but smile.

“Caramel, Ah’m gonna carry ya home, and that’s final.”

“Fine…” He sighed. “If I must…” He mentally giggled. Oh this is so wonderful! I mean…I feel bad that I did something so terrible, and I feel worse that I put my friends and my coltfriend through this, but one good thing came out of it; Mac gives me a lot more attention now! Well…he kind of did in the first place… Am I taking advantage of the situation? Psh, nah. I’m an opportunist, as they say.
Who am I kidding? I’m totally talking advantage of this. It’s okay though. I deserve a little pampering after…the incident…of my stupidity…Celestia save me from myself.

Caramel wrapped his hooves around the stomach of his coltfriend. He giggled. My stallion’s gotten a lot bigger!

Noticing the giggle, Macintosh replied, “Ah’ve been stress-eatin’…”

He suddenly felt a pang of guilt, but it went away as quickly as it struck. They proceeded out the hospital doors and into the broad daylight of early summer. It must be weird for other ponies to see me being carried like this… Nah, they’re used to it…

“HI CARAMEL!” came a ditzy voice from behind.

He turned around to see a gray pegasus flying upside-down. She was clutching a mailbag in her belly, and she swooped down, almost clipping the edge of Macintosh’s hair. “Hello, Derpy!” he said cheerily.

“I haven’t seen you in a while,” she said, turning around for another dive. She pulled away at the last second—again.

“I’ve been uh…busy…”

“Me too!” she said, and then flew away, as if he were taking up too much of her time.

“Eeyup.”

Caramel hopped off and opened the door to his home—never locked. To his surprise, Macintosh followed him inside.

“I’m really sorry for taking up so much of your time…but you can go back to Sweet Apple Acres now, if you’d like.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Ah already told ya, Ah’m takin’ care of ya, so Ah’m stayin’ here…until y’all are better.” He beamed. “Ain’t getting’ rid of me that easy!”

Caramel giggled. “In that case…what do you wanna do?”

“Ah don’t know. We only have a couple of hours before we gotta go.”

“Um…plans for tonight?”

“Eeyup. Figured I’d take ya someplace nice for our anniversary.”

“Anniv—Anniversary? T—Today? F—Few h—hours? What? How…how long was I asleep?”

“Unconscious,” he corrected, “for three days.”

Three days? Oh Celestia… He suddenly felt a mix of emotions, which took a few minutes to decipher. First came the guilt of making Macintosh stay in the hospital with him for over three days. Second was the shock that he had been asleep—unconscious—for three days. Finally, there was the excitement of the night’s promising events.

“I…wow…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to—” Before he could continue to apologize and offer eternal servitude in return, a very familiar hoof found its way inside his mouth. He let out a muffled “meep.”

“Ah don’t need ya to apologize. Let’s just put this thing behind us, ‘kay?” Macintosh asked.

Caramel nodded, and then spit out the hoof. “Blech. Please don’t do that again…”

“Sorry…”

Luna’s orb glowed softly in the night, but nopony paid attention to its mystical pearly iridescence. Instead, attentions were all turned to the neon and tungsten lights mounted on every sign, wall, window, and track. Ponies strained their necks as they craned skyward to soak in all the lights mounted on the tallest roller coaster. Their eyes twirled round and round the ferris wheel and all of its neon stripes.

Waves crashed on the beach, just ten steps away from the boardwalk. Not many ponies were on the beach, since it was nighttime. Most of them were in line for rides, eating funnel cakes, or simply walking up and down the boardwalk. The breeze from the ocean blew onto the beach diagonally, creating a dangerous situation for anypony wearing a hat. The smell of salty seawater mixed with the oily scent of carnival fare and was laced with a hint of throw-up.

The sound of ponies’ screaming penetrated the air every so often like an alarm. It was always shrill with the high-pitched shrieks from fillies as they plummeted down the tracks. Every so often, the oscillating waves would crash at the same time a roller coaster dived, and the two noises clashed.

Caramel walked with his legs criss-crossed, much like Coco Spritz. His head pounded, and every breath elicited a strong desire to throw up. He held onto Macintosh’s neck with a foreleg, and they walked slowly past the exit to a bench.

“Ah suppose y’all don’t handle spinnin’ rides too well.”

“Nope,” he said after taking a deep breath. “It’s okay though. I’m fine with anything else. But this one…it’s like a centrifuge…”

“A what?”

“A centrifuge. It spins super duper fast. I think they use it in labs to separate liquids.”

“Would ya like to go home now?”

“Yes, please…”

It definitely was not a good idea to eat a funnel cake right before riding The Orbiter… Who’s a silly pony? I’m a silly pony. It’s okay, though. I had a good run. We went on the ferris wheel, which was oh so romantic…but Mac is afraid of heights…so actually not really… The big wooden roller coaster was pretty fun. I think he really got a kick out of it, too. I sort of wanted to take a romantic walk on the beach, but eh. I think I’d rather go home before I see that funnel cake again.

Luckily for Caramel, the boardwalk was only twenty minutes away from Ponyville by walking, so he had plenty of time to recover from vertigo and regain control of his stomach. By the time the edge of their town was in sight, he felt fine. “So…can we go back to my house?”

“Ah was gonna go there anyways,” Macintosh said, smiling.

“Oh. Well, I was going to say that I have to give you my anniversary present.”

“Ah left mine at your house, too.”

“What? When did you do that?”

“When y’all were puttin’ on your mask, Ah hid it under the coffee table. Y’all really didn’t notice that your table was floatin’?”

“You mean mascara. Well, I guess I didn’t really pay attention…But you know, you really didn’t have to get me anything. Just having you really is enough for me.” I mean that completely. I would be totally fine with nothing else but you, Mac.

“Ah go above and beyond, and that’s why y’all love me,” he chuckled.
One of the many reasons.

“Happy anniversary, Big Macintosh!” Caramel exclaimed, holding out the blue box with two hooves in front of him. Thank Celestia I had enough time to stuff this thing back in its box and tie it back up…

“Thank ya, Caramel.” He opened it to reveal a glass sculpture of him and Caramel, sitting on a giant apple. “This is…this is really amazing…did y’all make this yourself?”

Caramel nodded. “With help from an old friend.”

“Thank ya so much…Ah’ll keep this on my nightstand. Here’s yours,” he said, lifting the table with one foreleg and taking out the large box with the other. He set the table back down so that all four legs once more touched the carpet.

The box was wrapped in multi-colored polka-dotted wrapping paper. Upon closer inspection, Caramel noticed that each polka-dot was actually a colored apple. Of course. After struggling with his hooves to find a seam in the paper, he tore a hole in the crisp paper using his teeth. Finally, he was able to rip open the paper.

He opened the box to find a sea of red. It was a fluffy mound of fabric. He poked it, but it didn’t move. It sunk down under the pressure of his hoof, then sprang back up immediately.

“It’s one of them plushies. Ah made it myself!” he said.

“Oh wow!”

“With Rarity,” he coughed.

Caramel giggled. He gripped the red cloth with his two hooves and pulled upward. With some effort, it came free of the box. Staring back at him was a large apple with a face. It had two black eyes, a mild smile, and patches of pink for blushes. “Aww, I was hoping it’d be you!” Caramel said.

“Y’all have the real thing. Why do ya need another one?” he asked with a small laugh.

“Thank you, Mac!” he said happily, giving the red stallion a hug.

Macintosh returned it. “Ah’m glad y’all like it…”

They let go of each other. “Hey Mac, when you were at the Colt Club…”

“Eeyup?”

“Did you learn a lot about…love-making?” If so, please enlighten me.

“Eenope. Everypony just told me to figure it out myself. They said that it’s somethin’ that comes naturally, and that y’all wouldn’t mind if Ah didn’t know what Ah was doin’.”

“So it just…happens?” Now I’m worried that it won’t happen…

“Eeyup.”

“How do you know it…works?”

“Ya just have to try…”

“Um…Mac…?” Maybe we can…try…?

“Eeyup?”

“…Never mind.” Darn! Stupid shyness! It wasn’t meant to happen anyways…

“Eenope.”

“Eenope? As in…?”

“Eenope.” Macintosh suddenly picked up Caramel with one hoof—with extreme effort.

“Ack! What is this?!” He thrashed half-heartedly, but couldn’t suppress a giggle. “Put me down!”

Ignoring further questioning, the red stallion carried his coltfriend into his bedroom and closed the door.