Spike's Bad Week

Spike’s Bad Week

Day One

Chapter Five: Into the Rat’s Nest

Within the living quarters of the dungeon guards was the captain of the Royal Griffon Guard. He was in a most sour mood. He fumed as he marched back and forth in the living quarters of the dungeon guards occasionally glaring at the two guards in front of him.

 One of them was an auburn pegasus named Cloudy Raindrop, which the captain was convinced that the only reason he was on the guard was because there was a shortage in guards and they would take in anyone. The other guard was a lanky griffon by the name of Gerald, which the captain perceived to the smarter of the two—but considering who his buddy was… it didn’t take much effort.

“Okay,” the captain said as he broke the science, “To be honest I didn’t expect much from each of you.” He said as he glanced at Cloudy Raindrop, “Well at least one of you. That’s why I only gave you one assignment, just one simple assignment. Now can you tell me what that assignment was?”

“Well you gave us orders to watch over the dragon locked up in the dungeons.” Gerald said with a nervous twitch in his eyes.

“Yes. Now then, can you tell me why the prisoner’s cell is empty?” the captain asked viciously as his voice became more and more vexed.

There was a pregnant pause as the two guards in question turned to face each other with nervous glances. They didn’t know what to say. The captain was furious and looked like he would burst at any moment. All it took was for them to say the wrong thing and they would face the captain’s wrath.

“Well—uh, you see… its-“Cloudy Raindrop stuttered trying to find the right words to say.

“Yes I’m listening,” the captain said with a cold calculated voice.

“Well you see da prisoner, uh, he kinda escaped from his cell?” the pegasus said with a sheepish smile.

“I see,” the captain said coldly, “That was pretty obvious when I saw that his cell was empty. But what I want to know right now is why in the hell are you TWO IDIOTS ARE STILL HERE!”

Cloudy Raindrop and Gerald flinched as the captain’s roar shook the very room they were in. The captain took deep breaths as he vented his anger. His face had an expression of hate and his eyes were contemplating about murdering the two incompetent guards in front of him. Eventually he managed to calm himself and took a deep breath.

“I don’t care how he did it, I don’t care whose fault it is. Knowing you two, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of you forgot to lock the cell door.” The captain marched in front of the pegasus and gave him a piercing glance as he flinched. “As much as I want to run both of your asses out of here, I can’t. Mainly because it’ll be too much of a hassle to find replacements since no self-respecting being would apply for your positions.” The captain bitterly muttered.

The two guards sighted in relief at the prospect that they still had their jobs. “Well then,” the captain continued, “I want to you two to find our escaped prisoner. I am warning you right now; don’t even think about returning here until you found the prisoner. You got that?” He barked.

“Yes sir!” Gerald responded with a quick salute as Cloudy Raindrop followed suit.

“You may still have you jobs right now but that depends if you manage to find to find the escaped convict. Now get out of my sight before I change my mind,” the captain said with as much malice as could. He turned and left the living quarters grumbling to himself on where his life had gone wrong and what he had done to deserve this fate.

Once the captain was out of hearing range, Gerald turned to his companion and said, “So Cloudy—you did remember to lock the cell didn’t you?”

Cloudy Raindrop gave a nervous chuckle as Gerald buried his face into his claws. Sensing his friend’s irritation, the pegasus tried to calm him down. “Yo c’mon Gerald it’s just one dragon. How hard would it be to find a dragon? He would stick out in a crowd, maybe one of' the other dungeon guards seen him eh?”

“Yeah, well good luck with that,” Gerald muttered as turned around and left not finding amusement in his companion’s joke.

 Cloudy Raindrop and Gerald were the only dungeon guards within the castle. Next to the royal castle where a state of the art prison and an insane asylum. That meant that the castle dungeons were rarely ever utilized. Being a dungeon guard was considered to be a dead position with little chance of promotions; therefore nobody in the guard wanted it.

Those nobodies went by the name of Cloudy Raindrop and Gerald. They pay was decent and most of the time they were in the living quarters playing poker or drinking. In fact looking after Spike was their first assignment in a while. Gerald winced as he thought on how well that assignment went as they left the castle ground in search of the escaped prisoner.

“So do you know where to start looking? My guess is that he probably headed to one of the nearby villages.” Gerald said as he glanced towards the horizon.

“How ‘bout we flip a coin?” Cloudy responded, “Let’s see, and let’s go that way.”

“You do know that there are three villages nearby?” Gerald said irritably. Seeing that his buddy was already up in the air, Gerald stretched his wings and leaped towards the air in pursuit of his friend. They headed east in start of their quest to find the dragon.

╠═════════════╣

Spike was totally lost. He had no idea where to go as he wandered aimlessly through the sidewalks of the Aquaris, the name of the city of frogs and rodents located within the griffon sewer system. He could just leave and find a way to go back to the surface but that would be leave a problem about his size. Right now he was the size of average rat due to some eating cookies made by an insane professor.  It’s not like he had a choice. But the only way to return him to his normal size was to drink some crazy growth lemonade made by the same professor. He had to be careful when he drank it, because according to the professor if one drank too much his body would keep inflating until it eventually explodes into a bloody mess.

That didn't matter right now since his flask of lemonade was confiscated by a big beefy bullfrog. Leave it to his luck that the first place he ended up was a port that belonged by the frog mafia. They decided to spare his life but only in exchange for a job. He had to find out how a rival gang was smuggling booze into the city.

Spike had no idea where to start. Goldfly didn’t even tell him where to start looking, as if wanting him to fail, which most likely he did. The dragon grumbled as he wondered looking for any leads or clues. He passed by crowds of rat, mice, frogs, and even a few salamanders that were busy with their daily tasks and jobs.

“Hey buddy, can you spare a brother some change?” a voice asked

Spike turned around to see a large bumble bee that was sitting against the wall of an alley way. His appearance was rugged and his body was rough and patched. His eyes were red from either lack of sleep or heavy drinking, possibly both.

“Sorry I don’t have anything with me,” Spike responded as he tried move on.

The bee gave a sigh as he stared the wall in front of him with disappointment. “You know, back in my home country I used to be a king. Well that was until the bitch threw me out,” he said bitterly. “She kept complaining about the hive being stolen by the wasps. I didn’t care. Couldn’t fit into the damned thing anyway—you should have seen how fat she was. So now here I am reduced to the status of a bum.”

“Well that’s interesting and all but I think I have to go now.” Spike said as he turned to leave.

“Fine then, leave just like the rest. I guess I won’t tell you about the location of a stash of big, juicy, tasty, and delicious gems.” The bee said dismissively.

Spike paused in his tracks then turned around, “Gems?” he asked with a hint of greed in his eyes.

“Ah, I thought that would get your attention, you being a dragon and all.” The bee responded.

Spike glanced at the bee with surprise, “Wait, how did you know I’m a dragon?”

“My old home country, my old hive, was up in the surface world. I’ve seen plenty of dragons from far away and you looked like one of them. So I just thought if I talked about gems it would get your attention since I’ve heard that dragons are a bunch of greedy bastards.”

“I am not greedy!” Spike shouted indignantly.

“Well then, why did you get all excited when I mentioned the stash of gems?” the giant bee retorted.

Spike fumed as he glared at the bee giving him a satisfied smirk. “Okay then, tell me then. If you know the location of a hidden stash of gems, then why are you out here being a bum? I bet that you are lying and there isn’t even a stash of gems.” Spike accused the bee.

The bee rose began buzzing around Spike, “Look I’ll admit that I’m a lot of things. But I’m not a liar; well at least I’m not a skilled liar. Couldn’t tell a damn lie to save my life, pretty much one of the reasons why I’m out here. I tell you that there is a stash of gold and gems somewhere within this city. I don’t know the exact location but I do know where to look. I’ve overheard a couple of things at a bar.”

Spike snorted his nose in disbelief. “Like a bar is a reliable source of information,” he said irritably towards the bee.

“Hey, you’ll be surprised how loose a poor bastard’s lips can become after a couple of drinks. I can assure you that a couple of times I’ve heard some rats gloat about their stash of treasure they acquired. They called themselves the Bilge-Rats or something like that,” the bee said.

“Well are you going to tell me about the location of the stash or not?” Spike asked as his patience was wearing thin.

“I was getting there,” the bee said, “It’s just that every time I got around to hearing them reveal the location of their stash, I passed out and ended up waking up in some alley.”

“So you don’t know? Well that’s good to know. I guess I’ll be going now then.” Spike said as the turned and began marching away.

“Wait!” the bee shouted as he buzzed in front of the dragon. “Look I’ll tell you everything I know. I don’t ask for much—just for a good drink.”

“So you want booze?” Spike bluntly asked the bee.

“Hey,Information isn’t free. Besides, what do you think I spend the money folks give me?” the bee responded with a shrewd smile. “If you want help from this brother then you have to help this brother out first.”

*Ting!*

Spike heard the familiar ting sound ringing in the back of his head. Taking a deep breath, he reached down into his pockets and pulled out a bottle of beer. It was the same kind the he had given to Birdy the scarecrow. He passed the bottle to the bee.

“What’s this?” the bee asked as the received the bottle. He opened it and took a deep sniff. “What is this crap?” he said as he tossed away the bottle in disgust.

“You said you wanted a drink.” Spike said with indignation.

“I said that I wanted a good drink. Not some cheap-ass beer that goes right through you and gives you the runs.”

Spike thought for a while before speaking to the bee,”So then, where can I find something for you then? I’m sure that you want a good drink my good bee, where can find the finest drinks around?”

The bee buzzed up and said with joy, “Well there’s nice bar nearby that sells the best rum. It’s kinda under the table because of the booze tax. But I can point you out its location.”

Spike followed the bee through the twists and turns of the city canal system but had no time to take in the sights. He crossed a couple of bridges over then into a couple of frogs and mice. He apologized to those that he bumped and ignored their glares as he followed the bee.

The bee stopped in front of alley way between two large buildings and turned to Spike, “The bar is down there deep within The Alley.”

Spike gave the bee a glare and said, “Sure down a dark and smelly alleyway, there’s no what that this could be a trap.”

It was the bee’s seemed to ignore the dragon’s sarcasm “Oh there are a bunch of traps down there. Remember when you come to always make a turn when you come to one. If you keep on going straight… well you’re going have a bad time.

“What’s that about all those traps?” asked Spike.

Seeing that the dragon was still giving him an intense glare the bee quickly said in defense, “I did tell you that it was under the table bar.”

“Well then why don’t you come with me then?” the dragon asked him. “I’m sure it would be less of a hassle if you lead the way.”

“Well I’m not allowed down there,” the bee said bitterly, “I ran up my tab at the bar and am blacklisted until I pay up my tab.”

“Well you better make it worth it.” Spike grumbled, “If I do come back with your drink, you will tell me about the gem stash… right?”

“Oh yeah I overheard everything, its being held in some kind of safe. Apparently it’s always on the move so the location is never consistent. I’m sure that you can find more info in the bar down there…” the bee paused as the words came out of his mouth. He muttered a stream of curses as he flew off on how he had been hoodwinked by a dragon. To Spike’s amusement none of the passer-bys seemed to pay attention to be bee as he flew past them.

When the bee was out of sight, Spike heard a noise coming from behind him. He turned around to see a lanky brown rat scurrying out of the alley. The rat turned to the dragon and gave him a dirty look.

“Well, why are standing there like a damned idiot? Move on or go inside the damned alley but don’t just stand there like a retard! You’ll attract unwanted attention.” He said as he scampered away.

Spike brushed the insult aside as he entered the dank, dark alley. He descended through its various twists and turns that soon Spike had no idea what direction he was heading. The paths where barely lit, with a few lanterns hanging here in there but they didn’t do much to help. The lack of light did not affect Spike much, one of the perks of being a dragon was that he see in the dark, but even with his somewhat night vision, he still had had a hard time navigating through the maze of passages. He followed the bee’s directions and made of turn whenever it came across his path. Soon however he began to feel that he was traveling in circles and felt anger that the bee had tricked him.

I should have known better than to trust a drunk.

Eventually his anger brushed away when he saw the light of the end of alley and found himself in a small private square. In the center there was a statue of a rat standing proudly with in a decorated uniform. The ceiling was covered with various lights that ranged from lanterns to light orbs, giving the square an orange yellow glow. The edges of the underground square were decorated with various storefronts of the illicit businesses located there. Spike turned around to see an old wooden sign with “Rat’s Nest Square” painted on it with faded black paint was peeling off.

An unusual sight caught the dragon’s attention. At one end of the square he saw it was clean compared to the rest of the square. It had a storefront that gave it the illusion of being part of a large ship. In the middle was a large wooden door that was being guarded by a rat. To the side of it was neon sign that read “Bilge Rat Bar”.

That must be the bar that bee was talking about. He thought to himself as he approached the bar.

The rat that was acting as bouncer seemed familiar to Spike. As he approached him, he began to recognize the rat. It was one of rats from the slides that Goldfly had showed him, it was Rico. The rat glanced at him suspiciously before asking him, “What are you doing here? We don’t get many non rats down here in the Rat’s Nest.”

“I’m here for a drink.” Spike responded, “I’ve heard that you serve the best rum around.”

“Damn right.” The rat said with pride. “Well don’t really care if you’re a rat or not as long as your gold is good. But first things first…”

Rico walked around Spike and took deep sniffs of him as he circled him.

“Hey what’s the big idea?” Spike asked the rat nervously. His ear looked worse up close than it on the projector slide, but missing ear chunk was just one of rat’s features. His body was decorated with various scars that the rat displaced with pride.

“I’m just making sure that you ain’t hiding something. But don’t worry about that, you're clean.” Rico said calmly as he opened the wooden door. “You may enter,” he said as he led the dragon in.

╠═════════════╣

Rico knocked on the captain’s door before opening it. Inside was a small office crowded with many miniature modules of different kinds of ships. On his desk was Captain Nacho engulfed in detailed diagrams and blueprints of ship designs.

“Boss we have another spy,” Rico said.

“How do you know? Are you sure you aren’t being biased towards frogs again?” Captain Nacho asked without turning away from his precious diagrams.

“Nah, he ain’t a frog. He’s more like some deformed amphibian. But besides his appearance, he smelled like eggplant parmesan, the good kind. He also had the unmistakable scent of frog as well. There’s only one frog we know that has decent taste and appreciation for cheese.”

“Don Frogso.” Captain Nacho muttered bitterly.

“Do you want me to deal with him?

“No,”said the captain as he stood from his chair. “I’ll deal with this so called spy…personally.”  The captain grabbed the nearest dagger to him and tested his sharpness. “And if it turns out that he really is a spy—I’ll make sure that you get into the fun as well Rico.”

Rico gave a cruel smirk and sniggered at the cruel thought of what punishment he would deal when given the chance.

His thoughts fell apart as Captain Nacho threw the dagger and swished passed Rico, only just narrowly missing him, and landed with a dull thud onto the wall. “But I’m warning you now Rico, it this turns out be a false alarm because of you distrust of non-rodents…”

Rico did not respond.

Captain Nacho glared at Rico as he rolled up the ship charts. “Go back to your post. And hope that you’re right because norat, and a mean norat, interrupts me when from my precious shipping.”

╠═════════════╣

Spike looked at the menu with confusion on why in the world would the bar server over 40 different combinations of cocktails. He looked around the bar from his corner and saw that there were only a few customers in the bar.

Probably must be a slow hour.

From the behind the bartenders stand he saw a pair of doors burst open as a rat came trotting out. He scanned the bar and spotted the dragon. He proceeded towards him with a cheerful smile. As he approached him, Spike quickly identified him as Captain Nacho of the Pi-Rat gang. He wasn’t wearing a captain’s hat and a deep rich red coat with gold trimmings. His whiskers were neatly combed and waxed, and his teeth were surprisingly clean with a pearly white.

“Why hello my dear sir, what brings you to my humble establishment? My name is Nacho C. Bean.” Captain Nacho introduced himself with a refined and formal voice.

“My name is Spike and I just came for a drink.” Spike said while glancing at the menu.

“So anything in particular that grabs your interest?” the captain asked with a warm smile.

“Not really,” said Spike said as nervousness began to take hold.

“Barkeep, bring my guest here some of the best and finest drink we have. I would suggest Cleartongue Vodka,” Captain Nacho ordered the bartender. “I want my esteemed guest here to taste one of most expensive drinks we have.”

I hope it isn’t too expensive. The dragon thought to himself. I’m kind of on a tight budget right now and that would be that I’m completely broke.

As if he could read his mind, Captain Nacho gave Spike a reassuring smile and said, “Don’t worry my new friend. It’s on the house. Consider it a welcome present.”

The bartender arrived at the table with a large bottle and a couple of shot glasses. Captain Nacho quickly grabbed the bottle and served two of the shot glasses and passed one to Spike. “Well drink up buddy,” he said.

Spike drank the clear liquid and felt it burn down his throat. He hacked and wheezed as he felt a strange burning sensation pass through him. The burning sensations soon faded as Spike found a tranquil and calm sensation take its place.  It was if his mind had had decided to take and vacation and his thinking became relaxed. “Wow, that stuff is strong,” Spike said coolly.

“I hope it’s not too much for you to handle.” Captain Nacho said with mock indignation.

“Of course not,” said Spike as he took a shot of the clear liquid.

“So then Spike, where do you come from?” the captain asked.

“Me? Well you can say that I come from across the great sea.” Spike said without much thought.

Captain Nacho gave Spike a incredulous look before brushing it off and continued with his questions. “That’s quite a distance, so what brings you down here?”

“I was supposed to be on vacation,” Spike muttered taking another shot.

“And you chose to come down here on vacation?” Captain Nacho asked in disbelief.

“Well not down here. But up there in the surface world, it was supposed to a vacation in a romantic city. But things didn’t go to plan,” said Spike.

“What happened?” Captain Nacho asked with curiosity.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Spike muttered.

“Oh don’t be like that,” said the captain and he poured Spike another shot.

Spike quickly drank up the clear liquid and continued, “Long story short, I ended behind bars. I’m not sure if it was either a nuthouse or everyone in that dungeon was just crazy. So I escaped and that’s how I ended down here in the sewers.” The dragon paused and took another shot. “Then I had the warmest welcome with the stupid frog welcoming comity greet me,” he said bitterly.

Upon hearing about the frogs, Captain Nacho pried wide open. “What was that about frogs?” he inquired the dragon.

“They were a bunch of jerks. And then there was that one frog, Gadfly, or I think that’s his name. Any so Gadfly comes and tells me that I’m trespassing or something, how was I supposed to know? I just got here and then some frog comes in with a bunch of his cronies armed with clubs and stuff.” Spike grunted as he took yet another shot.

“So what happened next?” Captain Nacho asked.

“They took me with the boss. He smashed some poor frog’s head. Then we had lunch. Told me that he would spare my life if I did some assignment for him, I took the offer, it’s not like I had much choice. But then Gadfly had to come bursting in. I don’t know what’s shorter, his height or his temper. Have I told you that I don’t like that frog? Why I ought to—“Spike began to trail off.

Captain Nacho cleared his throat. He served Spike another shot which the dragon greedily consumed. “So about this assignment, what did the frogs want you to do?” he asked.

“Wanted me to spy on some pirate gang, they told me that they were smuggling booze into the city. The frogs wanted me find out how they were doing it. But of course that stupid short frog seems to forget to tell where to start looking. I’m starting to believe that he just gave me an impossible for me to fail. I mean if Gadfly and the rest of frog mafia couldn’t find out how this pirate gang is doing it, what chance do I have? And the slides of those three rats don’t help much.” Spike said as his mind began to feel a bit cloudy.

“What three rats?!” the captain shouted as he stood from the table. He quickly relaxed himself and took sat down. “Sorry about that outburst, but what was that about three rats?” he asked as he poured the dragon another drink.

“Well it was just some slide of the heads of the rival gang. Come to think of it, you seem a bit familiar…” Spike wondered off.

“Oh don’t be silly. We’ve just met for the first time, how could you have seen me before? You must be mistaking me for somerat else,” Captain Nachos said coolly as he passed the shot glass to Spike.

“I guess you’re right,” said Spike as he drank another shot of the vodka. “So then I go out the harbor and I find the don there. He just skims over what Gadfly told me. There’s some kind of interruption and the frogs force me to leave. And that pretty much it.”

“That’s it?” Captain Nacho asked. “Are you sure there isn’t something else you missed?  What was the interruption about?

Spike’s judgment was blurred at the moment but that did not stop him from speaking, “Well some messenger came running and told the frog don that some other gang decided to raid one of their outer warehouses, whatever that means.  So he ordered to gather half of their soldiers to go defend the warehouse. He then left Gadfly in charge and said he was going with his soldiers to teach that gang a lesson.  And that’s all I managed to overhear.”

Captain Nacho pondered over what the dragon told him. “So Don Frogso decided to send his soldiers and went with them as well.” Captain Nacho was seemed to talking to himself rather than the dragon, “So then that means that he probably left Goldfly in charge... Oh that might do just fine.”

The captain gave Spike a wide grin. “Well thank you my dear guest. But I must ask you if you want another drink?” he asked Spike as he pointed to the bottle of vodka on the table.

“Yes,” the drunken dragon replied with a cheerful grin.

“Well then you can have… THE WHOLE BOTTLE!” the captain roared as he picked up the large bottle and smashed into Spike’s head. Shards of glass shattered all over the table and floor as the rat captain straighten up and left the table.  He turned to the bartender and said “Clean that mess up. Have Rico come in and lock that lizard up but tell him not hurt him until I give him the orders to do so.”

He marched straight to pair of scruffy rats that were at the other side of the bar, “I want you two to gather the rest of the scouts and go check if that lizard’s story was true. Then come back and report to me.”

He turned around as the doors to bar open and Rico came in. “Ah Rico there you are! Well it seems that you were right but sadly I cannot let you have fun with him right not. Just take him down to the holding cell for now. But Cleartongue never lies, so gather the rest of my rats. We’re going raid the Frog Mafia.”