Spike's Bad Week

Spikes Bad Week

Day One

Chapter Four: Waterworld

Spike hacked and wheezed as his claws reached the nearest platform. “The snorkel… it does nothing,” he muttered to himself as he climbed onto the platform. Making sure that he was on solid ground, he collapsed as he recovered his breath. “Yeah should have definitely chosen a different method of escape.”

Once he recovered his strength, he checked his pockets. The cookies were ruined and no good but the magi-thermo was still good. he then began to take in his surroundings and glanced up towards the grey brick walls of the sewers that seemed colossal in his current size. He noticed even though he was in the sewers, there was a lack of a pungent smell, there was a stale odor but nothing offending. The water was surprisingly clean as well, sure the water had a bluish-green tint to it but it lacked the sight of any… unfavorable materials. Unknown to the dragon, the griffons had developed an intricate sewage system with various enchantments that acted like filters.

Yet the biggest surprise to him was in front of him. There within the sewers was a whole society complete. In front of him was makeshift city with buildings made out of metal, wood, and any other material that was scavengable. Instead of streets, there were canals where the sewer water flew through. To the side of the canals there were sidewalks with bridges connecting them.  Spike that he city was thriving as he saw rodents and amphibians of all kinds chatting and going on with their daily business.  The canals were also bursting with activity with mice and frogs navigating through the waterways on boats and canoes of various shapes and designs.

Spike turned his head upwards as he glanced at the ceiling and saw various gaps of sunlight breaking through that offered a source of light. But it mattered little compared with the street lights and signs that filled the city. He turned to around and saw that he was standing on a pier complete with docks and warehouses.  Then he saw the sign that read “Private Property: Trespassers will NOT be tolerated!!!".

Well then looks like I find a find a way out of here, He thought as he glanced at the ceiling again. On closer inspection he noticed that there was an intricate system of pipes, platforms, and walkways within the upper levels of the sewer chamber. Wow they even have an upper city, well then I guess that’s a good place to start as any. Well got to get out here before someone finds me.

“Well would you look at what we got here,” came a gritty voice from behind him.

And here we go…

Spike turned around to see a cluster of five frogs armed with clubs and knives heading towards him. In front of the crew was a short stubby frog that was wearing a sharp beige pinstripe suit. He walked towards the dragon while the rest of his crew followed close behind him. “Looks like we got ourselves a visitor, we don’t get many visitors here... and you know why?” he asked the dragon as he waved his club, “Because most pricks are smart mind their own damn business and stay out of our territory!”

Spike took a deep breath as he faced the irritated frog in a suit “Look, I didn’t know that this was your property— I’m new around here and I fell into the water and this place was the closest platform,” he tried to convince him. “I’ll just leave and go now and I don’t want to start any problems.”

“Well you got problems you newt!” the frog in the suit shouted as he glared up into Spikes eyes. “Nobody and I mean nobody goes into our property and gets away with it!” he then turned to one of his lackeys, “Hey Croaker, tell our guest over here what we do to trespassers.”

Croaker, a grey dim-witted frog, just gave pinstripe suit a confused look, “Eh I don’t know boss. We-uh- never actually had issues with trespassers before but I do know that we takes guests to the big boss and he has lunch with ‘em. So are we gonna take ‘em to have lunch with the big boss?”

Pinstripe frog buried his face into his webbed hands, “Well at least I know why they only have you do grunt work. But at least you’re right that we take our guests to go see the don for him to decide their fate.”

The stubby frog in the pinstripe suit marched back and forth in front of Spike before he continued, “If I had my way I would have your scaly ass skinned and tossed into the river. But you’re a lucky little prick that the don is very generous and kind frog.” He smashed his club into the nearest pole, “But don’t you think that you’re going to get away easily. Hey Bugsy!”

Bugsy, another of the frogs following pinstripe suit, gave a salute. “Yes boss, what do you need?”

 “Bring me a fine cigar and Bulldoze.” He said as Bugsy gave another salute and rushed towards the pier. “So you…newt, tell me why are you in our property? Can’t you read or something, the sign is there for a damn reason you know that?”

“Of course I can read, I just didn’t see the sign until it was too late that’s all.” Spike answered. “Also I’m not a new-“

Before Spike could finish his sentence, Bugsy returned followed by a massive bullfrog easily twice the height of the all of the other frogs except the stubby frog in the suit, he was easily three times his height. As he approached the group, Spike noticed how muscular and well toned his built was. “Yeah Goldfly, what you need?” the beefy bullfrog asked with his baritone voice as he arrived.

Goldfly, the stubby frog in the pinstripe suit, pointed towards to Spike, “Bulldoze I want you to escort this newt to the boss.”

“I’m not a newt, I’m a dragon!” Spike protested.

Goldfly stared at Spike for a few seconds before he burst out laughing, “Oh that’s rich! He thinks that he’s a dragon. Well I know for fact that dragons are enormous creatures that live in the surface world and they couldn’t fit in these sewers unless they took some kind of shrinking potion and we both know that sounds like flyshit!” Goldfly roared to Spike.

 A stagnant pause took hold as the Goldfly’s crew stared at him in disbelief. “What? I like to read a lot of fiction on my spare time.”

The crew remained silent.

Goldfly took a deep sigh as he decided it was best to ignore his crewmembers as he resumed with his orders “Like I was saying Bulldoze, I want you to escort his newt to the boss. But make sure to search him thoroughly first.”

The giant bullfrog turned to Spike, “Well you heard him, come with me or I’ll have to drag you myself. But I gotta warn you that I have reputation of not handling luggage with care.”

Spike took a deep breath as he followed the massive bullfrog deciding that it was better not to get into a fight with him.

╠═════════════╣

After a very uncomfortable search, which resulted in Spike having his beverage container confiscated and him discovering that he had pockets he wasn’t aware of, Spike was escorted to a lavish conference room with an elegant long table in the center. Around the table, there was a group of five frogs sitting at one end of the table. Each of them was wearing a fine suit. In front of the table sat a frog older than the rest. He had an exquisite black suit made out of finest materials. In his hand, he was holding a cigar and we was wearing a pair of designer sunglasses. He gave an aura of authority as he silently was staring at the four other frogs behind his sunglasses and smoking the fine cigar.

"Alright fellas,” -he finally said as he waved the cigar- “You all know that you got to show the appropriate amount of respect.  It’s a simple value that we should all hold dear. If you respect me, I'll respect you back. And if you don't respect me— well then you can expect me to respect you back." He told the group of frogs sitting at the table.

Spike followed Bulldoze as he entered the room and walked towards the frog don, "Boss we have a situation and a guest."

"I’ll  get to it in a moment—I just have something to finish first." he responded, “Like I was saying,  if you step out of line then you can be expected to be put in place.  With that said, I know that one of you hasn’t been showing me respect.”

The don stood from his chair and began walking behind the nervous frogs sitting down, "As for how he is, well I don’t know. It could have been any of you; maybe it was Frankie, or maybe it was Chicho"-the don stopped behind a frog wearing a red suit -"or maybe it was… PAULIE!"

Paulie gulped as he turned around to face the furious don. “Paulie you were like a son to me,” the don said as he held a club, “But you had to go behind my back you ungrateful scumbag. And for that I have to teach you one last lesson.”

Before Paulie could respond, the don swung the club as hard as could into the traitor's head. The chilling sound of a frog skull cracked open by the don filled the room. Spike watched with horrified fascination as the don continued to merciless beat the fallen frog as he uttered in-between strikes. “Don’t. You. Ever. Do. That. To. Me. Again. Do. You. Understand?!”

When the frog don was finished with venting his anger, he tossed his club aside and glared at the three remaining frogs, “Let this be a damn lesson to all of you, don’t you dare fuck me! You got that?! Now clean up this mess and get rid of the body before it starts stinking up the place!” he ordered the frogs as he pointed at the messy corpse of the slain frog.

The three frogs quickly dragged the body of their fallen comrade out of the room. Within a couple of seconds a couple of lower ranked frogs rushed into room to clean up the bloodstains.  The don quietly sat down on his chair as he observed them for a few moments while he smoked the rest of his cigar. After a few moments of silent observations the don finally turned to face Bulldoze and broke the silence, “So what seems to be the problem?” he said in a calm voice.

“Well boss we have an unannounced guest that decided to drop by.  So Goldfly sent him up here for you to decide his fate. I checked him—he ain’t got nothing on him but this thermo think with lemonade. But I think it’s spiked.” Bulldoze passed the beverage container to the don who quickly opened it and took a sniff.

“Yeah, definitely something in this lemonade.” The frog don turned to Spike, “So tell me then where you got this from.” he ordered.

Spike hesitated for a moment as the thought about what he should say. Should he tell the truth? Sure the events that occurred earlier that day were bizarre even by his standard—which is saying a lot considering he has lived in Ponyville for years. Even if he told the don the truth, there would be a chance that he wouldn’t believe him. Heck he wouldn’t believe the story either if somebody else told it to him.

“So you’re not saying huh?” the frog don interrupted Spikes’ thoughts. “I can respect that. The code of science is a big deal with us. But I just asked you a question and I expect answer. Where did you get this from?” he asked once again.

Spike hesitated once again as he began to search for an answer. “I got it from… a crazy old kook.” He finally said after consideration, the professor was indeed both crazy and old.

“I see.” The frog don said calmly as he glanced at the nervous dragon with a neutral stare. “Well then, seeing that you aren’t going to be more specific, I’ll move on. So then, who the hell are you?”

“My name is Spike and I’m a…”-the dragon took a deep breath- “… I’m a newt.”  He bitterly uttered as a chill traveled up his spine.

“A newt? We don’t have many of those here. So I’m guessing you’re not from around here eh? So where do you come from?” The don asked.

“From far away,” Spike answered. Technically it was true; Equestria was located across the great sea at the other side of the world.

Realizing that the ‘newt’ wasn’t going to specify, the frog don continued with his questions, “Who do you work for?”

“I have work for many different folks.” Spike answered. In a sense it was true, he worked many different odd jobs around Ponyville for many different ponies.

The frog don smiled. So far the answers he had received had pleased him. Apparently this ‘newt’ knew how to keep his mouth shut and seemed to be competent.  He could use folks like that, but he had to know where the ‘newt’ pledged his loyalty and whether or not he could be trusted. “So, to whom do you pledged your loyalty?”

Spike pondered on the unexpected question asked; whom did he pledged his loyalty to? Well he wasn’t Rainbow Dash, well at the exception when Discord first escaped from his statue. However, he did pledge his loyalty to Equestria and Celestia…right? Deciding that he couldn’t answer the question fully he decided to give another vague answer, “I pledge loyalty to whoever I hold dear to me.” More specially Twilight and the girls.

The don stared at the ‘newt’ for a few seconds before breaking into laughter. “I must admit that you have guts. Even though you now I could order your execution at any moment, you still refuse to say anything. I admire that in an individual and let me say that you are a fine mobster as they come.  It’s a shame we couldn’t meet under better circumstances.” The frog don said. “Well then let me fix that, Bulldoze tell the chef to prepare a meal for one more.”

The bullfrog gave a salute and left the room. “Come now Spike, it’s almost lunch time. Let me tell you that I have connections to the surface world that provides me with the finest ingredients. Our chef makes one of the best damn parmigiana you’ll ever have.”

Before Spike could answer, his stomach rumbled in response with the don responded with a chuckle, “See, even your stomach agrees.”

╠═════════════╣

Spike had to admit that the meal was one of the best he ever had. He patted his belly at the satisfaction of having his first meal of the day. The frog don observed the ‘newt’ behind his sunglasses, “So how did you like your meal?” he finally asked.

“I must admit that was the best eggplant parmesan I’ve ever had. My compliments to the chef.” Spike responded.

The don gave a smile, “That’s good to hear. I only buy the best after all. I would like to chat a while more but I have some other business to attend to. But don’t worry I’ll have my good frog Goldfly fill you in on your assignment.”

“What assignment?” Spike asked the don in confusion.

“What? Did you expect that lunch was free?” The don responded while he exited the dining room. “We did you a favor, now you gotta pay us back. Well that is unless you planned for that to be your last meal.”

The frog don gave a salute to Goldfly as he entered the room. “Well you heard the boss, get your lazy ass off of that chair and get over here!”  The stubby frog barked.

Spike grumbled as he followed the Goldfly back to the conference room where the don gave his lecture on respect. As he entered the room, he was bombarded with the familiar smells of disinfectants. He stared toward the floor and saw that it was spotless clean without a drop of blood to be seen. He glanced at the conference table in the center of the room and saw that a slide projector had been recently placed on it.

“All right take  a seat or something,” Goldfly said as he cranked up the projector. “I don’t know what the boss sees in you but he took a liking for you. So he decided to spare you life and guess who’s in charge of babysitting? Well isn’t life just great,” he muttered as he turned off the lights.

Spike sat down as Goldfly began with his presentation. “Okay so I have some slides to show you, you best pay attention ‘cause I’m not going to repeat myself. If you ask a stupid question, I won’t hesitate to smack you across your stupid face. You got that?”

“Yeah I got that.” Spike answered.

“Good, now let’s start.”

The first slide was a simple layout of the makeshift city within the sewers. “This here slide is a map of Lower Aquaris. It’s a pretty simple map and only marks the major waterways but that’s not important. As you can see in the bottom that there are areas marked in green, that is our territory. Now if you can see next to our territory are areas marked red, that is the territory of our not so friendly competition. You got that newt?”

“Yes I got that,” the ‘newt’ repeated.

Goldfly resumed with his presentation, “The gold star indicates where our current location. As you can see we control both major ports within the city. We also have direct, indirect, and super direct control of other minor ports within and outside the city.”

“What do you mean by super direct control?” Spike said.

SMACK!

“Ouch! That hurts.” Spike whined as Goldfly stroked him behind the head.

“Does that answer your question?” the stubby frog answered.

The dragon nodded his head and Goldfly continued, “As I was saying, since we control the ports, we control what goes in and out. That means we decide how much booze goes through the ports  and who gets the shipments. Therefore we control the price of booze. We even managed to make a good deal with the city council as we they passed a liquor tax which we both profit from. But then other slime bags got clever and manage to create a clever smuggling operation. Every day they manage to sneak shipments of booze right underneath our noses and we don’t know how they do it. And do you know who the pricks in charge of those smuggling operations are?”

“Uh- I have no idea.” Spike meekly answered.

SMACK!

“Ouch!” Spike yelped as he rubbed the back of his head where the stubby frog had struck him.

“I said to pay attention!” Goldfly barked, “Okay remember what I said about our not so friendly competition? Well they call themselves the Pi-Rats. As cheesy as their name sounds I assure you that leader, Captain Nacho, is no joke.”

Goldfly changed to the next slide that showed a picture of three rats. On the center was a tall smiling light brown rat in with a toothy grin and two gold earrings on his left ear. He was wearing a navy blue coat with red accents and polished gold buttons, on his head was a navy blue captains hat also with red accents.. To his right was a shorter rat with a piece of his left ear missing. He was wearing a yellow head wrap and a red and white striped sailor’s shirt. The third rat was actually a cream-colored mouse; she was shorter than the other two and with a slim build. She was wearing a blue coat with ruffled cuffs and a tri-corner hat.

“Remember these faces,” Goldfly said, “Those three are the heads of the Pi-Rats. The center rat is Captain Nacho, don’t believe a damn thing he says, he’s a damned clever liar and that bastard has one of the best silver tongues out there. The frog to his right goes by the name of Rico, there’s not much to say other that he’s Captain Nacho right-hand and very capable lookout. As for the third rat, she’s rather new to Captain Nacho’s crew but she quickly rose up the ranks and now is number three in their gang. We don’t know much about her other than she goes by the name of Mozzie. So you have any questions?”

“Yes I have a couple of ques-“

SMACK!

“What did I say about asking questions?”Goldfly asked.

“Then why did you ask if I had any que-“

SMACK!

“Fine I get it, I’ll stop asking questions.” Spike grumbled as he rubbed his forehead.

*Ting!*

SMACK!

“I don’t know what happened there, it’s like my hand moved on its own that time.” Goldfly said as he gave Spike a confused look.

“Fine…fine whatever. So I know that you’re showing me these slides for a reason. My guess is that they have do something with my assignment.” Spike said as he tried to move the subject along.

The stubby frog turned on the lights and turned to the Spike, “Yes, yes it does. You have one job to do. One job. You best not screw this up or you know what’s going to happened. Your job or mission, whatever you want to call it, is to find how the Pi-Rats are smuggling booze into the city. Then if you make it back here alive we will reward you or something. So you understand what you have to do?”

“Find out how your rival gang is smuggling alcohol into the city. Yeah I got it.” Spike responded.

SMACK!

“Let me get you straight you newt. We are not a gang, we are a group of shall we say very ambitious business folks. We just are not afraid to get our hands dirty. But enough wasting time, let’s get back to business.”

╠═════════════╣

Spike arrived once again to the pier where he saw various frogs and rodents resuming with their various jobs at the port. Spike must had ‘arrived’ at the port during lunch hour which would explain why the port seemed to be empty. He observed the workers as they performed their various tasks and duties. They all seemed to be blissfully unaware of the true nature of the port or if they did they seem not to pay attention to it.

“So I take it that you understand the assignment given to you by Goldfly?” the frog don asked as he walked towards Spike.

“Yeah, I have to find out how your enemies are smuggling alcohol into the city.” Spike said.

“That’s correct. But remember that if you fail us, I strongly suggest that you leave town. And if you are successful, you’ll be greatly rewarded, then I’ll suggest that you leave town.” The frog don said.

As Spike was about to respond, Bulldoze came rushing as he shouted, “Boss we got an emergency!”

“What is it?” the frog don asked.

“The Squeaks Family decided to raid our main warehouse outside of the city. They went with a full out assault. Our frogs are outnumbered and have sent a request for help.” Bulldoze responded.

The frog don stood silent, “Those bastards, well then Bulldoze you tell Goldfly that he’s in charge while I’m gone. As for me, I’ll go gather half of our soldiers and we are going to show the Squeaks what happens when they decide to step out of line.” He said in a cold voice.

The frog don turned to Spike, “What are you still doing here!” he screamed. “There’s a small row boat over there at the dock to your left unless you want to swim across the channel. Now hurry up and go do what you were told!”

Spike rushed towards the where the frog don pointed at and saw the small boat that was had only enough for one passage. He carefully got on and started rowing. What have I gotten myself into?  He thought to himself as he crossed the channel.