Chapters It's a cold world. By cold, I mean it's just colder weather today. It's raining, it's windy, and I'm actually kinda... I'm feeling a shiver down my spine. I have this odd feeling in the back of my mind. Almost like there's a set of eyes watching me... or multiple. I feel like the one schoolfilly on the stage by herself, hundreds of parents and other kids watching me as they wait for me to perform. I'm out of sight, I'm all alone in the room right now, but I feel like somehow, everybody is peering into my mind, they're seeing my skills and shrugging. They've seen better. I'm only fast, not talented.
But that is true, isn't it...? I'm fast. Speed means nothing if you don't have any skill. Without skill, speed is useless. It's like trying to ride a bicycle without the ability to turn. Sure, you can go fast but speed has no purpose if that's all you can do. I can do a loop, I can do twirls, I can do a barrel roll, I can spin clouds, I can swerve by pillars... but can't everypony? Can't everypony turn, and flip, and create a mini-twister, and spin a cloud? What is it I have that's different? I'm fast. I can do it faster, but it's no different from being able to brag about pedalling faster. Too fast, and my skill falls apart.
My skills aren't much to brag about as I've figured out through time. Fast. I'm just fast. I'm not able to perform hundreds of tricks like I claim, I can't get everything done in 10 seconds flat, I couldn't even finish the Running of the Leaves without resorting to cheating and using my wings. I'm a miserable Pegasus pony who can't even complete Earth pony things.
I can't even do a Sonic Rainboom. I've tried hundreds of times, maybe even thousands of times. Fluttershy has seen all the results and I know it myself. I create a cone, only to not meet the required speed and the air resistance...
Celestia knows how many times I attempted to look cool. How am I cool to the fillies anyways? I'm fast, I've got a cool mane so I give off an atmosphere of cool or awesome or amazing. But nobody cares about looks unless you're in Canterlot in which case, I'd be a rugged mess of a pony. It's almost like comparing a puddle of mud to a glass of Apple Cider.
It always hurts. The landing, I mean. Crashing in general, actually. I crash so often you'd think I'd get used to it... and I am. The pain shoots through me and is gone. Well, “shoots through me” is a huge exaggeration. It enters my body, is extremely intolerable, and then it goes away after five or so seconds. The tolerance I have ranges from very to... to... where I almost cry. Crashing onto Twilight's balcony when Applejack launched me into the air as I wasn't ready... that hurt. I was able to tell Twi the situation, but I promptly passed out. The pain in my torso was huge. Not couldn't breath huge but... I felt like my legs, my wings, my head... they were in incredible pain.
Crashing into that mountain which Pinkie tried to warn me about? That hurt my jaw... and my pride, but mostly my jaw. I felt horrible mentally; Pinkie tried to spare me but I thought she was just annoying. I'm sorry, Pinkie...
Crashing into my friends when that dragon hit me? That hurt me physically and mentally. I rushed in, hit some... body and I payed the consequence. I slammed into my friends, hurting my entire body as I rolled after into that rock and... I hurt my friends too. My brash thinking... ugh, can't I be a reasonable thinker? No, my thought process is faster than my flying. Just do it, don't plan it out. That hurt me and my friends.
Crashing into Rarity's room hurt, not as bad as recent crashed but I hit hard enough to bounce and ruin a mannequin Rarity had set up. It payed off as I got this awesome new dress – two in fact, but it still hurt.
Crashing into Twilight's Library, into that bookcase when I failed to do that Sonic Rainboom... it hurt so bad. The force knocked all the books out of the shelves that my friends helped to pick up and shelve.
I really am Rainbow Crash.
How many times will I crash now?
How much pain will I feel this time?
What will they think of me? My idols?
What about those guys?
What about my friends?
“Number 15, let's go.” a voice said, a hoof poking me in the back.
There was the sound of a door opening, the room she went in...
“Rarity... is ready.” Rarity said, wearing enough makeup to make her look like a little plastic toy.
“Look ladies, I don't know what to tell you. There's only time for one more performance. If you both want to compete, you'll just have to go out there together.” the backstage handler said.
Rarity walked over. “Well Rainbow Dash, shall we?” Rarity said, brimming full of confidence.
I blurted out a few sounds; my attempt at speaking currently as I stood up and walked over to the curtains and quickly peaked out.
“And now, for our final competitor of the day, contestant number 15!” the announcer said as I pushed them open, flying off into the skies.
Rainbow Crash and burn. That's all I am.
**Author's Note: * And now, a series of drabbles about whatever topic I have on my mind. Right now, I just felt like doing a POV look into Rainbow's mind before she went onsta... onsky during the episode, Sonic Rainboom. I will make more and don't worry, this isn't going to distract me from my Apple Spectrum story.*
Be sure to check out the Apple Spectrum and the stories of my editor for the Apple Spectrum, Civille/Bellum_Civille, especially the Pinkie-verse and Old Friends.
Celestia's Mind - "Punishment"
It's dark. Not here, far from it. It's actually quite bright. I mean, currently, my mind and... her's... I want this all to end. The whole ordeal. I want life to be back to the way it was years ago. All those years ago. With mother and father... with my friends... with her... with them... with everypony else... and dragon...s...
I can feel it. Her magic. It's keeping me trapped but then again, I deserve it don't I? I deserve to be trapped. She's been trapped far longer. I did it in the heat of the moment, not thinking rationally. I just wanted the immediate threat gone. Was doing what I did worth it? I removed the threat but at the most extreme cost... or rather, costs. My life lost a significant half. It lost what made it worthwhile. It kept its Yin but gladly gave away it's Yang. I was hailed as a hero for it but I despise myself for it. I hate that I'm being loved for it.
Who would willingly cast away their own kin?
I would.
I would willingly cast away my own kin. I would do it without hesitation because I can take it. I can take whatever pain comes with it. I'm the only one who can. Even the filly I taught through the years thinks highly of me, no matter how oblivious she is. She's lived in her own world of happiness; all my little ponies have while I suffered. I deserve it because I'm the one that caused it all. I ostracized my own kin. I took all the attention and love from others and she fell in the end. I hate this. I hate it all. I hate myself.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry for everything I've done. I know you can't hear me but if I ever see you again... the real you or your personified self, I want to hug you. I want to nuzzle you and if you want, you can hit me. You can hit me over and over and over and over and over again. Hit me with your hooves; I want to feel pain by your hand and maybe you can feel a little bit better. If that doesn't work, hurt me with your magic. Heal and hurt. Repeat it. Torture me for as long as you want, just... please come back to me. I don't want this living alone. I hate going to bed to be treated with nightmares and waking up with regret. I hate the job I have to do at night... because it's not mine. It's yours and I just can't do it. I can't make my final product anywhere near the magnificence you give it. I was never a night person but if I was, would things have been different? Would I have understood your argument?
Maybe if we meet, we can start off as bitter bullies. I'll be the victim and you can bug me and annoy me and hurt me when you want. If you were in power, completely able to control the pain I feel at will you'll feel better. Maybe if the hole in your heart is filled, I'll stay here. I'll stay here and you can stay with the ponies and lead them. Maybe you can give the world it's Yang, a Yang they can love.
You're casting a spell right now, I can feel it.
Are you hurting somepony else? Don't do that, please. Don't hurt others because of me.
Are you running away to be alone? Don't do that, please. Don't isolate yourself anymore because of me.
Are you trying to bring me back to hurt me? ... do that, please. Do it to your hearts content.
Or maybe you're just teleporting. Where to? Maybe when I get back, we can talk about it over a cup of tea. You can tell me about your pain and I can soak it up. I can be the one to make you feel loved. I'll do anything.
I don't know what I'm thinking about right now.
I know she'll succeed. I know she can help unbind you from your sorrow. She's got this power... this unbelievable power... it can do many things. It can teleport her, it can turn ponies into plants, it can hatch eggs, it can make her fly and now, she's learning a new lesson. She's letting something in she hasn't allowed in all of her life. She can do it. I can feel bonds forming. She's slowly accepting this new power. This power is the most powerful magic in the world. It brought the world together, and it's lack of it in our lives tore us apart. It put you at the receiving end of pain. It can make music out of silence, colour out of black and white. It can and will defy all sorrow. It can defeat anything that comes in it's way.
Because Friendship is Magic.
And she can reunite us. She can make us whole. She can return the shadow to the light. She can save you from the very thing I couldn't. She can save you from loneliness. She can make you feel loved. She can, she will, and she is.
I can feel it; that's how I know she is. The Elements of Harmony. Their magic is resonating and is cooperating with each other. You... you're scared right now. You remember this sensation but... she won't. She won't do it to you again.
The Magic of Friendship vs. The Curse of Hatred. We both know which is stronger and we both know what is the better of the two. For Friendship to exist, hate is a necessity in this world. The perfect world is one with goods and bads.
Your dark magic is gone. It worked. I can do what I want and... I hear them.
“Ugh, my head...”
“Everypony okay?”
“Ooh, thank goodness!”
“Why Rarity, it's so lovely...”
“I know! I'll never part with it again!”
“No, your necklace. It looks just like your Cutie Mark.”
“Oh!? So does yours.”
“Look at mine, look at mine!”
“Aww yeah!”
“Gee Twilight, ah thought you were just spoutin' a lot a hooey, but ah reckon we really do represent the elements of friendship.”
I'm glad. I'm so glad my star student has made friends. I can't stay here. I must return to ensure the balance is there and to make amends.
“Indeed you do...” I said, activating my magic; the sun raising as I broke the weakened spell on myself.
The day returned, the moon dropped down and I could feel myself move. I could feel the air changing from it's room temperature to a much more chilled temperature. Morning temperature. The light disappeared, and there she was.
“Ah!? Princess Celestia!” Twilight Sparkle said as she trotted over to me, bearing the tiara of the Element of Magic.
“Twilight Sparkle, my faithful student. I knew you could do it.” I smiled down at the small lavender pony who looked back with a look of confusion.
“But, you told me it was all an old pony tale...?” she replied.
I smiled even more at this.
“I told you that you needed to make some friends, nothing more.” I looked at her friends, seeing them all open their eyes and stop bowing; each bear the Elements of Harmony Necklaces. “I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return and I knew it was you who had the magic inside to defeat her.” I looked back down at her. “But you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart.” I stopped smiling as I looked across the old, ruined throne room.
I spotted somepony I haven't seen in over 1,000 years. The kin I willingly shoved away in favour of “peace”. I have suffered, but she has suffered more. I trotted over to her, my heart pounding with every step. The sounds of the rest of the world vanished. The blood in my body rushed, my heart's pounding increased every step I took. I've waited years to see her again. I can't lose my composure, I need to ask for forgiveness, beg if I must.
“If only another will as well.”
I am so sorry. I love you, my dear sister Luna. Will you forgive me?
**Author's Note: * So, yeah. Princess Celestia. If anybody wants, I can do a request. Name a character, name an episode or if you ask permission or you're willing, name the fanfic and chapter and I could do my own take of what a character felt like during the event.*
Thanks, Mr. Masato/Arby Works/Hunter-the-hedgehog.
Be sure to check out the Apple Spectrum and the stories of my editor for the Apple Spectrum, Civille/Bellum_Civille, especially the Pinkie-verse and Old Friends.[/i
Pinkie's Mind - "Attitude"
So, get this. This one girl sat atop of my friends porch. I had this neat little day all planned out with my friend, full of pranking and fun... BUT NO, this bird-thingy pops out of nowhere and eyes me up. I was cool with that. I was totally curious. I wondered who this bird... thingy was. Rainbow comes out and explains. Who she is, what she is and apparently, the bird thingy is a Griffon (which is half lion, half eagle (and all awesome, apparently)) named Gilda, an old friend of Rainbow Dash.
So anyways, I tell Rainbow I had a day of laughter and fun planned, just like yesterday and she was up for it. I offered to let Gilda tag along but they flew off. That was fine with me. They haven't seen each other in a long time, they needed to catch up what with their flying and stuff. OH YEAH, they went to Junior Speedsters Flight Camp together. So anyways, they take off and I immediately rush over to the cloud I saw them land on and I set up a trampoline and bounce high enough I can pop through the clouds and I see Rainbow Dash. She tells me I'm so random and I'm just waiting for her and Gilda to finish talking about whatever it was but then they take off again! I decided that I didn't want to be left behind, tag along with them instead.
So this time, I tie balloons to my tummy and I fly after them and I catch up to them again and this time, Gilda challenges Rainbow to another race and when they leave, Gilda actually stayed behind and popped my balloons! How dare she? I was so mad, but...
I decided not to judge her. Maybe she was just having a bad day so far. She's not rude... but when I landed on the ground, I decided to get out my Super Duper Flying Bicycle Flier of Aviation Defiance and floated back up to Rainbow Dash and Gilda again. I didn't wanna be left behind. I thought that I could have been imposing on them but Rainbow didn't object, it was just Gilda. Flying up behind them, Gilda asks if Rainbow could show her some new tricks (I mean, Gilda probably hasn't seen Rainbow in years, so I understood), BUT...
She tells me to buzz off, stops my propeller making me spin and lets go, causing me to fall back to the ground.
I have never met a griffon so mean (well, I have never met a griffon at all but if I had, she probably wouldn't have been as mean and grumpy as Gilda). BUT...
I decided to talk to my good friend, Twilight Sparkle about the matter. As I told her everything, she listened because that's all Twilight does (and read because she's a super smart smarty pants) and she tells me that I need to change my attitude? I could hardly believe my ears. She tells me I'm jealous that Gilda is getting all of Rainbow's attention and tells me I need to change my attitude!? But it was Gilda who was being mean to me. I left Twilight's Library and bought myself a milkshake and sat in the food court, drinking.
Maybe Twilight was right. Maybe I am being a big jealous judgemental jealous jealousy pants. Maybe Gilda isn't a big mean meanie pants. Then I saw Gilda and Rainbow flying above. I didn't want to be seen so I ducked behind my milkshake (it was a large milkshake, I was well hidden). Rainbow had to leave for some weather jobs but Gilda stayed in town to eat. She walked over behind a stand and using her tail, she scared Granny Smith who thought her tail was a rattlesnake. It was pretty funny but she criticized the fruit (or is it vegetable!? What are tomatoes?) in the stand and walked around. When nopony was looking, she stole an apple from a barrel. Thief! But I reminded myself that I can't misjudge her. Maybe she would give it back or pay it back. It was just a joke, right?
But then, it happened.
Sweet innocent little Fluttershy was walking through the streets of Ponyville with a bunch of little duckies (ducks, right?) following behind and she accidentally bumped into Gilda. Gilda then yelled, and screamed, and made fun of, and then roared at Fluttershy! And then... the worst part happened. The little duckies had all run off, scared of mean old Gilda and Fluttershy ran off, crying. I was so, so mad! I decided to fix it the only way I can. And that's what I'm doing right now.
Sugarcube Corner is all set up, the presents, cake, and streamers are all ready. Ponies are coming in, and here she is.
Time to fix that super grumpy mean meanie pants attitude, Gilda!
**Author's Note: * Some Pinkie Pie there, stepping away from the so emo ones. Just Pinkie Pie preparing to work her magic.*
Thanks, Mr. Masato/Arby Works/Hunter-the-hedgehog.
Be sure to check out the Apple Spectrum and the stories of my editor for the Apple Spectrum, Civille/Bellum_Civille, especially the Pinkie-verse and Old Friends.
Fluttershy's Mind - "Monster"
Being nice requires vice. Being a doormat is one thing this pony does not adore. Being lame isn't my game. These are the things I was taught by that mean old minotaur, Iron Will. But he does have a point... I am a doormat, and I do nothing about it. Lame isn't my game, but it's all I am. So, I decided to stop this nice business. I've decided that no more, shall this pony be a doormat!
"As Celestia is my witness, I'll never be a pushover again!" And that is exactly what I did. I became assertive.
When somepony tries to block, show them that I rock. And I did that. I shoved those who dare to block the path of new Fluttershy.
When new Fluttershy trotted around Ponyville, she met her friends Pinkie Pie and Rarity. They said they want the old me back, old wimp Fluttershy back, old do-what-you-want-because-Fluttershy-won't-do-anything-back Fluttershy. Well newsflash, girls! Old Fluttershy is gone! No, instead, you get new Fluttershy! The listen-to-me-for-once-in-your-pathetic-time-wasting-job-that-nopony-cares-about-lives Fluttershy! They want me all sad, and weak, and helpless, but no! I am NOT going to go back to old Fluttershy! Old Fluttershy is dead and y'know what Pinkie? There wouldn't have to BE so many Fluttershy's if my friends didn't have to push me aside, or my sweet little IGNORANT UNTHANKFUL Angel listened to me and ATE HIS CARROT, or if ponies took old Fluttershy seriously, BUT NO!
No more of this. New and improved Fluttershy is the way of the future! If one of those nasty dragons comes back, I'll give him such a talking to that no dragon will ever step foot in Equestria again unlike last time. I'll have total control over my animals for a change, they will all eat what I give them. That paper colt will do his job properly. That florist will do his easy job correctly and not over water my plants because he now works for NEW FLUTTERSHY!
... and this went on. New Fluttershy, for once, gave me results when I wanted to buy something. I got no lip from others. I never got ripped off because new Fluttershy is awesome. When somepony tries to rip-off, raise your hoof and FLIP OFF! I never knew what that meant but it worked so I did it. I got what I wanted for once and nopony pushed me around. It worked! I'm no longer a doormat.
... but my friends don't like me. Pinkie and Rarity were... bullied by new Fluttershy! I shoved them around. I made them my doormat. I threw a treat back in Pinkie's face. I was so rude and... I hurt my friends. I'm... new Fluttershy is what I want. I don't want to be a doormat.
But... *sniff* I don't want to hurt my friends anymore. I don't want to be feared by my little animal friends. I don't want to be rude! *hic* I don't want this! I hate this! I hate it so much! But if I don't, I'm going to be pushed around... *sniff* and ponies are going to block, and ponies are going to rip-off, and ponies are going to ignore, and ponies are going to be rude, and I'll be weak and pathetic Fluttershy... *sniff*
Oh no... oh no. No. No. No no no no. Oh no. Oh dear. I'm... no. I have... no. No~o! I'm... I'm like that minotaur. I have horns that strike fear into others... no. No. I have an attitude that makes others... NO! I... but, I have... NO NO~O! I'm...
I'm rude, as Spike would say.
I'm uncouth, as Rarity would say.
I'm uncool, as Rainbow Dash would say.
I'm lying to myself, as Applejack would say.
I'm meanie-Fluttershy, as Pinkie Pie would say.
I'm mentally confused about who I really am, as Twilight would say.
I hurt others.
I insult others.
I shove other around.
I'm...
. . .
I'm a monster.
I'm a big, rude, insulting, confused, lying, totally uncool, shoving mean old monster. I'm not a good friend. I'm not a good friend. I'm not a good friend. My animal friends hate me. My friends hate me. I'm hated. Because I'm a monster.
I hate me... because I'm a monster.
I will never hurt anypony again. I will never go into Ponyville again. I will never see my friends again. I will never see my animal friends again. I will never leave my yard again. I will never leave my house again... because I'm a monster.
I will be caged up. I will be banished. I will be caged up in the place that I am banished too. Because that's what you do with things... things like me. I will be chained up. I will be treated badly. Because that is what you do... that is what you do... because I am a monster.
I am... a monster.
Notes: This was requested.
Thanks, Mr. Masato/Arby Works.
Discord's Mind - "Petrified"
Alas, is that light truly worth fighting for? All that hob-nob about the end of a tunnel and light is a wishy-washy myth. Not to mention this light is delivered in a full spectrum. Doesn't help that this is a fate worse than death...
I do wonder how Celestia decided to seal others away so easily. Her sister was banished with such ease that even I, at the time, felt a tidbit of shock. Not in horror, but in utter glee! She banished her sister without so much as a second thought, only to have an all-too-easy moment of retribution upon the return of her true sister...
Pah! How dare they ignore the laws of emotions! The nerve of that Luna-tic to disband the sweet, lovely chaos built up inside her over the course of a few seconds because of some meagre little 'Friendship' buzz going around. Even now, that same idea of friendship and harmony amongst the world is disgusting.
But as Chaos is a necessity to this world, so is Harmony. One cannot exist without the other, I suppose... but is it really so bad to ask 5,000 years of Chaos in return for the 5,000 years of Harmony granted in my prior banishment? Apparently so, as the ever-so-large party pooper, Celestia, decided that keeping the balance of Harmony and Chaos out-of-whack is the way to be. That very same idea is what caused her to imprison her dear old sister in the first place.
But as Harmony was, or rather, is, I am now being turned to stone once more.
Is a little bit of fun ever so bad? Is it so bad that one must be banished for eternity? Same goes to that grim petty princess' sister. A temper tantrum and a little bit of jealousy and backtalk to her sister and she responds by banishing her sister for – what turned out to be 1,000 years – eternity!
And I thought I was one for disproportionate retribution. I suppose Celestia will banish something for eternity for putting too much salt in the cornflakes next. Maybe then shall I have something who would love to indulge in chaos with I.
This brings me to my next point. Would I need friends? Of course not! I am one for Chaos and Chaos is a solo sport. I do enjoy an opponent from time to time, but not if the opponent cheats by using the Elements of Harmony. If only one would play by my rules for a change, then maybe I would allow Celestia to have some of her precious 'Harmony' and 'Friendship' rule for a while. Maybe next time, I can negotiate her into allowing me to rule for a couple hundred years. Just to satisfy that insatiable itch on my part and so I won't be so coarse next time.
Hmph! The chance of Celestia listening to reason is lower than my chance at corrupting Fluttershy through traditional means! She wouldn't listen to her own kin about the jealousy, what would make her listen to yours truly?
This feeling reminds me of why Celestia does not listen to me. It reminds me of why I cannot coexist with that solar brute. This feeling... of being turned to stone. I am becoming stone, the display of Discord. I am not one creature. Celestia cannot have that in her symmetrical and perfect, ideal society, yet it's perfectly fine for her to retain a total monarchy against the world itself. 16 hour days and an 8 hour night, oh the hypocrisy begs the question, “Why, oh why can't we let that one Draconequis of beautiful Discord run around to do his thing?” The answer is simple: Celestia has an ego to maintain and, oh, we can't have that getting damaged. We can't have that in her perfect society.
The truth to why it's so perfect? It matches Celestia's ideas. Luna's nights only rival the daytime in length in the winter. The cold, unforgiving winter. The time where everypony wants to stay in. The time where the sky is constantly blocked out by clouds, and snow...
O, thy dear Luna, I share ye pain whilst I suffer the torment of an eternal slumber. This long, cold slumber of stone being mocked at by ponies for generations once more. I won't be surprised if Celestia seals you for eternity once more.
However, I will be surprised if I ever see the light of night. Or day. Or chaos. Surely, Celestia will stash me elsewhere this time. Maybe she'll set me on the moon where nothing can cause any chaos to rupture my prison. Nothing isn't very good at creating chaos, but sometimes, something can be obtained from nothing. Those fellows after the Great Elixer Stone shall be furious at this revelation.
Ah, the looks on their faces... the sheer glee they will surely gain afterwards... do they not realize that this is something not even I would do to another? Celestia saw fit to seal her sister in the moon, her sister, upon her return, sealed her in the sun. Did I ever seal Celestia in stone upon my return? Heavens no, I left her to do her own thing. I let her stay out because I know the truth. Stone prison? Hahaha! What a torturous experience. And now...
Yes, it's true, isn't it...? I am being turned to stone. Why? How did my plan fail this time? I only wanted equality. To pay back for the 5,000 years of peace and tranquillity. That bit about harmony? Heavens no, harmony is about balance. I... I don't want this.
This can't possibly be happening, can it? It's my subconscious taking charge of the tricks. Yes. After I gather myself, the looks on those ponies and the princess shall be golden and then we'll have a good ol' fashioned laugh. We'll have a party with chocolate rain, and cotton candy clouds.
But why isn't this stopping? I'm still turning to stone. The light is surrounding me. It is not at the end of a tunnel. It is enveloping me in it's deadly rays. This isn't a beam of harmony... it is a Rainbow of Darkness. It shall cast me back into the stone prison from which Celestia demands I remain. It is making my world go dark. It is getting cold. The sun shall never shine upon my body or the chaos again. Ha ha, neither will the moon for that matter. I shall be forever... no. I can't. Not this again. This chaos can't end now. We can't sacrifice a necessity of this world for the sake of something as petty as maintaining Celestia's ego.
I can't accept this. I hate this. No. I don't... not the stone prison. I don't... this is horrible. I should be able to reject this. Maybe if I had a help... a friend? No! I am Discord! I do not need help, help is for those who cannot accept and coexist with the Chaos.
But why am I scared? I'm scared of the darkness. The darkness that many in this world deem chaos. I should be giddy! Positively ecstatic! I can conjure up my own chaos. I can make my own world. No, I can't... I forgot. I can't do anything in the darkness. I cannot take control of my sleep. I cannot be a lucid dreamer. My plan to restore the balance of Chaos and Peace has failed and now... I'm going back to the darkness.
I'm going to be alone.
Hahahaha! I'm going to be alone! In my darkness! No, I don't want that but, hey, do I have a choice? I must indulge! I must indulge in the alien chaos. I should be able to adapt... so why am I scared?
I'm going to be alone, that's why.
I'm not going to see the grimace of Celestia's ever again. I cannot see the mean old meanie mean pants Fluttershy again nor the crude liar, Applejack. I shall never see the faces of the many whom fall to my influence.
Because I'm going to be alone.
I'm fine. I'm not sure I want to stick around for the lovey-dovey friendship and peace Celestia's disgusting, uncouth reign of terror shall encompass. I'll stay here in this darkness. The darkness of a cold, stone prison. Hahahaha! Yes, I'll stay here. I'll be the king of my own little universe inside my head. I'll be here.
Where I am alone.
My entire body up to my neck is cold, coated in stone. That's fine. I'll be asleep soon in my eternal slumber. To Tartarus with the Equestrian lot! I'll relish in my chaos of nothing. I can do nothing else in nothing. Nothing can save me from the transformation into a stone statue once more.. I am doomed to relish in my... lovely? Yes, my lovely chaos of nothing. Doomed for one, simple, stupid, insignificant, universal truth of a lovely little, conjured by harmonic friends of Celestia's tyrannical, grim reason. The stone coffin encases my entire body now. It is going dark. The reason this is happening is simple:
I am alone.
**Notes: * This was requested.*
Thanks, Mr. Masato/Arby Works.
Spike's Mind - "Abandoned"
Life is like a fire. To keep it going, you need fuel. Winds can make it stronger, unless that wind happens to be carrying clouds, and rain, in which case, the wind can go rot. In my case, my fire has blown out. Fire-proof, fire breathing dragon over here has lost his flame. How did this happen, again?
Twilight found some stray, flying mophead called an owl... or "Who," or "Owloysius." Either way, it's got a stupid name. Anyways, she found this owl one night when she lost some sheets to the aforementioned wind and this owl, being some kind of wannabe hero, collected it. He shivered, and in a successful use of the sympathy card, Twilight decided to let him spend the night.
Next day, this owl turned out to not require sleep since he was flying around in broad daylight, eliminating the whole "nocturnal" jazz these birds have going on. The others are praising the hooter, and Rarity actually made him a jewelled bow. Made him! After knowing about him for, like, half an hour. How long did she know me? Pfft.
Later on, I discovered this dumb owl could do my chores while letting me drop to the ground for injuries. First, he does my job, then he tries to remove me from the scene by injuring me? The nerve! I felt like giving in to my predatory dragon instincts, but Twilight wouldn't like that. I had to expose the owl as the conman that he is. I had to show the others he was trying to replace me, to become Twilight's #1 assistant.
I set out to find a way to expose him, but I fell asleep after declaring I would do the chores. I woke up to find a book I had accidentally burnt slammed down in front of me by Twilight. Having been caught, I didn't try to argue. Instead, I just acted like a man, and took Twilight's ranting.
Then that dick Owloscyfuzzlebear was mentioned as the one who saw it. Then I realized that Owloysius is going out of his way to make me seem bad. Bad enough that he looked at me with venom in his eyes, but he's got to put me in the worst light possible too? What next, is he going to forge evidence that I messed up next?
Anyways, I decided that if Twilight wouldn't see what Owloysius was trying to do, I had to do what I had thought Owloysius was trying to do: set him up. I needed to get him out... I needed to get him out before he replaced me.
It was foal-proof. I had splattered ketchup over the floor, shredded a pillow for the bird feathers, and took Opalecence's toy. I mutilated it, and placed it at the end of the breadcrumb trail...
... but Twilight saw me. She came up from behind me as I finished with the pillow. She even caught me in my uniform (you see, I had worn this uniform so I could get more "into it," so to speak), and I quickly changed out of it, attempting to play off my set up. Unfortunately, I failed to do anything. I failed to convince her, I failed mostly because of one vital thing I forgot.
She doesn't love me.
Maybe she did, but she doesn't now. I tricked her, attempted to drive away her new #1 assistant. I wanted nothing more than for Owloysius to feel Twilight's hatred, but... Owloysius is normal.
He's an owl. I'm a dragon. How many owl's are in Equestria? Thousands. How many dragons are in Equestria? One. Twilight can parade her #1 assistant around now without any problems due to me being a dragon. She doesn't care about me. She can move on.
She doesn't love me, but... maybe that's for the best. A dragon in a pony society? That's a goddamn joke. I can't believe I actually thought that I could live normally. I thought that I could keep my job as Twilight's #1 assistant. I can't. I'm a dragon. I'm not even as good as Owloysius. I can only stay here in the Everfree Forest. I can grow into an adult.
Goodbye Rarity. I love you, but... I'm a dragon. We can't be. It is impossible. Owloysius can do everything I can, and more. He can do what I failed to do in Ponyville. He is Twilight's #1 assistant now.
I wish I was... but she doesn't love me anymore. That much is clear. I have to go and find my own way.
Goodbye Ponyville. Goodbye Rarity. Goodbye Twilight. I'll always love you.
Even if you don't love me.
